Blast Shields DownBlast Shields DownA place for the writings of two college students from Michigan, covering topic ranging from literature to movies, philosophy to pop culture, politics to insane ramblings and everything in between. Articles
What have we here?
2008-12-09 07:14:00 While discussing racial subcultures the other day in my humanities course the conversation came around to "Uncle Toms." And, inevitably, Billy D. WIlliams, also know as Lando Calrissian. I tried to defend Lando, explain that he was just an entrepreneur, that the Empire had put the screws to him and he was just doing what he had to at the time but came through in the end. Boy was I full of shit. Because, the truth of the matter is, Lando might just have been the most stereotypical character in all the star wars films. Being the only black guy in the whole of George Lucas' universe isn't easy though and I think he is due some credit. As a non-alien black guy Lando was single handedly representing an oppressed and stylized culture. Even while surrounded by british Nazi's and teenage Trotskyites, Billy D was cool and clean, full of sexual chocolate, pimping a pimp cape and ordering white guys around. Yeah, Lando might have been an uncle tom, but shit, he was just protecting h...
The Hoosier State
2008-05-14 05:16:00 While I don't exactly want to unveil the true depths of my procrastination abilities, this post is almost a year old, and is about an event that did happen over a year ago. It's finally done, though, and I hope you enjoy...Before May of last year I had only been to six states (?counting Canada and Michigan) in my life. Honestly, the only real state was Colorado, as Ohio is a hellhole, I visited West Virginia when I was about one, so I?m not really sure if that even counts, and one was Kentucky? which was just scary. The other two were Michigan (my home state) and Canada (which isn?t a state at all, go figure). So? I decided it would be a good idea to take a road trip to Indiana. Now, the question I got from every single person who I told about the trip was ?Why Indiana??? which should really tell you all you need to know about the state. But, I really didn?t know a lot about the place before I went. I knew about Notre Dame (which I steered clear of thankfully), I liked tha... More About: State
Movie Reviews: Blade Runner
2008-05-12 04:04:00 Title: Blade Runner Director: Ridley ScottReleased: 1982Runtime: 116 min.Do Androids dream of electric sheep?Maybe I'm not the best one here at BSD to tackle this one, but I've been on a sci-fi kick lately and this is the movie that began my summer of trying to watch science fiction movies. I'd already seen the movie, but my girlfriend hadn't, so we popped it into her DVD player (which strangely enough looks as if it was made by Fisher Price) and watched.While I may not ever be able to forgive it completely for starting that damn cyberpunk fad, this movie stands completely on its own. Sure it's science fiction, but it's not Buck Rogers or Star Trek. I've always believed that at it's purest level, Sci-Fi is an amazing avenue for writing because it gives the writer a way to explore human nature without the reality of the future getting in the way. The reader or viewer can just sit back and truly think about themselves and their own society. I think, perhaps, that 1984 by G...
A Moment in the Sun: Tentacle Rape
2008-05-07 18:11:00 Maybe it is a delusion of grandeur, maybe it is all mistake, but BSD has finally reached the pinnacle of internetdom. After a year of working out fingers to the bone and climbing, we have finally reached the google main page for something other than "blast shields" or "caleb michael lalinsky".Yes, folks... that's right... we're the number four google search result for "tentacle rape".Since we always seek to please our readers, we here at BSD would like to announce a new segment, called Tentacle Rape Corner, where we will be discussing all sorts of things tentacle related... both rape and yes, consensual sex... with tentacles involved, of course. We will also be working on other squid/octopus related subjects and are trying to hammer out an agreement with some Krakens for photo ops. Anyway... I hope you enjoy. More About: Moment
Do the homeless drink our blood at night?
2008-05-04 10:50:00 There is a point when desperation stops being French and romantic and becomes something much more real and scary. Is it so surprising to think then that maybe the homeless, displaced, and down trodden of the streets just might drink our blood at night? And if they do, is that so bad? Can you really blame them?Sure, maybe they?re a little dated. It seems that the dark, horny, beauty of draculas in the 90s has been replaced by the swashbuckling flamboyance of pirates in the 00s. As Anne Rice made room for Roller Coaster rides the importance of blood and blood drinking was lost and now may be found in a less desirable place, on the dirty and dry lips of those retched wrecked souls called the walking homeless, those modern day street roaming nomads, those transient vagrants, the homeless. Gone is the once kind playfulness of the run down tramp, and replacing that once romantic life of freedom and carelessness a life overflowing with the horrors and sadness of vampirism, night walk... More About: Drink , Night , Blood , Homeless
Religion? Pfft
2008-05-01 05:07:00 The following was written by the good friend of the blog Eli, and thanks to my laziness and forgetfulness it's been languishing in some god forsaken folder on my computer. So here it is, in all it's glory. Thanks, Eli... I'm sorry this took so long.'There is a resolution in the House of Representatives currently that attempting to create an "American Religious History Week.? Specifically, the aim is to affirm "...the rich spiritual and religious history of our Nation's founding and subsequent history and expressing support for designation of the first week in May as 'American Religious History Week' for the appreciation of and education on America's history of religious faith." In this resolution is a list of ties between church (specifically the Christian church) and state over the history of this country and the forming thereof. This list seems to be provided as evidence that since in the past there have been ties between the Christian faith and government that this t... More About: Religion
A Sofa
2008-04-27 03:50:00 In suburbia, in a little backyard sits an old couch. A couch bed, but who would rather be called a sofa. A proper sofa, high backed, tan with a flower print. A stuffy thing that you might expect to find in your grandma?s house, covered in a plastic cover. Once it was a king, the centerpiece of a living room set. Once it was the bed of dalmatians, chows, golden retrievers, labs and cats, the place where a man and a woman rested after a long day?s work, the trampoline of a small child. The first night of it?s exile, after it was handled roughly and rammed out the backdoor, a little orange and white dog barked at it as a big, black unfamiliar shape in her territory. It was dark and cold, the ground wet and squishy from melting snow. It was scared and alone, abandoned and unloved. As any sentient creature it knew there had been a time before it existed, and there would be a time when it was no longer there. It also knew that that time was quickly approaching, that ... More About: Sofa
Renewal
2008-04-23 23:32:00 Caleb and I have much different views of spring. I suppose they are both gut reactions, but his is much simpler... girls drive him crazy. While I do agree with Caleb to a certain extent that it is somewhat maddening when the layers start coming off, I'd rather live with the frustration. I suppose my feelings of spring are a bit strange, but... I there you go.I've never felt more at peace with the world than on those first nights of spring when one can lie in bed, in the not quite absolute darkness, feel the warm breeze from the window and just be. I'm not sure what exactly it is, whether it's the excitement of a new season, the embrace of warmth after the harshness of winter, or perhaps just the feeling of renewal. Maybe it's just that sweet, earthy aroma of melting and dirt, or just the glow of the fireflies.I could lay there for hours, staring up at the blank ceiling, which might as well be a suburban sky and experiencing, not thinking, not worrying, but simply enjoying... More About: Renewal
A Matter of Pride
2008-04-23 05:12:00 BSD has always been a faithful, loyal and courageous ally to all of her sister blogs. While we do not always post in a timely matter, or that well, we take pride in our work and our relationships with those we have formed bonds with. Because of egregious disrespect paid to BSD by a blog that shall remain hitherto nameless in these pages, we our restructuring the blog alliance system. We do not do this lightly, but we have been far too patient and lenient up to this point. We can no longer put our interests aside for the betterment of others. We thank all of you who have been loyal. The others, you know who you are.The old order is no more More About: Matter , Pride
Decision '08
2008-04-20 20:53:00 Who is BSD going to endorse in the upcoming election? Those wheels are in motion. The Brain Slug Party has been looking pretty good this year, but so far nothing is final. Any ideas? Who are you liking this year?cml More About: Decision
Tales From the Internets, volume 3
2008-04-18 04:09:00 Well, classes are almost over for the summer and Caleb asked me to do another one of these crazy things. I don't really have a whole lot of interesting stuff to post, mostly because I forgot I was supposed to be collecting links and the like... so, if you could just pretend I have a lot more to post, I'd really appreciate it. More to come from BSD in the coming weeks.Anyway, on with the links. Download Firefox. Just do it... version 3 is coming out soon and you won't regret it, especially if you're still using Internet Explorer... and if you are, what's wrong with you?I've never linked to a Livejournal before, but holy hell is this cool. BSD has a new project for the summer.FreeRice is a website where you play a vocabulary game for charity. For every word you get right, twenty grains of rice are donated to the UN. It may not sound like a lot, but in three days, I've donated over 4,000 grains, not because I'm philanthropic, but because 1. I'm a nerd, 2. it's addicting... More About: The Internets , Tales , Volume , Volume 3
I want to believe
2008-04-10 21:32:00 A couple of months ago Biasman decided to get me all excited by lying to me about a new film, a sequel to the 1998 X-Files, X-Files 2. I don't know why he said this. I guess he's just a mean hearted kind of guy. Even the joking jab about another X-Files movie got me so excited that when I considered how unbelievable that FOX didn't cancel the series when it was on, and how unbelievable that there is a 1998 movie based on the series of course I didn't believe the news of the sequel. I was heart broken.Turns out Matt wasn't just having a go with me, for once he knew what he was talking about. I still don't know if I believe it. But there it is, and I want to believe it. Matt and I are both big X-Files fans, though for the most part we have contrasting opinions about the show. None the less, we're excited. So I wanted to take this opportunity to both wax a bit and talk about sci-fi news; because thats the kind of nerd I am. I got a bit of a head start on the X-Files ...
One Morning on Facebook...
2008-04-10 01:28:00 ... these two "penises" got into a fight.courtesy of Josh Saganski.CML More About: Morning , Facebook
State of the Blog 3
2008-04-06 22:22:00 Well, it's been a year, so I figured it'd be a good time for another of these addresses to the readers. Thanks everyone for all the comments, they were amazing and really made me remember why I write on here. Things have been a bit slow lately, but they should be picking up near the end of April. Finals are coming up, so I'm sure Caleb and I will be bogged down in them. Already, I'm doing this when I should be reading Rousseau.Up at the moment is my first attempt at a banner, I think I did a pretty good job all things considered, though I can't figure out how to get the damn thing centered.I put up some testimonials that I gleaned from the comments section of the blog. If you want to claim one of the anonymous ones, go ahead, but we're going to need DNA evidence. I hope you find them amusing. I also added a section on the left for some of what Caleb and I believe are our best posts, mostly for people new to the site who want to see that we can actually write and not just... More About: Blog , State
Happy Birthday
2008-03-23 07:07:00 Here it is, Blast Shield Down is turning 1 today. We?re into digits. Oh beyond 0. There are stories about where this blog came from, some say Matt?s shower, other?s say he and I watched a Lamaze video and BSD just accidentally popped out, but if you want to know the simple honest truth about it you can be content with hearing it came from Michigan (where there?s no room for Jules Vern here, Biasman I?m sure you?d agree.) We?re 1 year old and I can?t tell if it?s really felt that long or much longer. In a way I think BSD has always existed between Matt and myself, the only difference now is that we?re writing it all down and putting it up here for everyone else to see. And I?d like to thank everyone who has been here to see it. I know that in the year this has been going on we?ve had some good and some bad post, some lulls in the work and some surges, and I?m genuinely thankful to everyone who?s read and kept up with the site. Yeah, it could be more, but it?s what it is, a mes... More About: Happy , Birthday , Happy Birthday
"The Jewish Giant at Home with His Parents in the Bronx, NY, 1970"
2008-03-22 22:29:00 by Diana Arbus More About: Jewish , Home , Giant , Parents , The Bronx
Robot Sex
2008-03-20 00:39:00 I came across his old article from MSNBC.com the other day and it got me thinking... Honestly, it got me thinking about several things, mostly the psychological impact of falling in love and marrying a robot would have on someone. Seriously... that can't be healthy. Humans are social creatures and need to interact with other humans, no? Do you really want to marry something that is programmed to be perfect for you? Then again, if someone cannot find someone to love, isn't it better that they have something rather than being horribly lonely? Or what is the robot was programmed prior to you falling in love with it? Would that be okay?I could go on about that aspect of the issue for a while, but I'm really not sure I know the answer. So instead of waxing philosophical, I'm going to discuss the other images that this conjured up for me. Given the chance, what robot would you have sex with?A little too old for meIs this Megatron's girlfriend?Sweden is weird...It's better th... More About: Robot
Tentacle Rape
2008-03-14 20:44:00 Oh boy... this is going to attract some weird visitors. C'est la vie...You know that weird girl you went to High School with? The one you always felt kinda bad for until you realized that there was a good reason why no one talked to her? It?s not that she was a bad person, she was just too weird to have any sort of conversation with. Now, I know this seems like the pot calling the kettle black. Hey, I?m not going to deny I?m weird, strange, crazy, dorky, whatever? I embrace it. I just wrote a piece about Aquaman and Black Manta where I used the phrase ?doinking mermaids and playing Marco Polo with dolphins?. I get that, I accept that, but I know how to interact with others, most people like me. And if anything, my own weirdness should underscore just how strange that girl is? because, I?m sure most of you know a person like that, but? Have you ever had a conversation with her about tentacle rape? Just process that for a few moments. Tentacle rape? weird Japanese M... More About: Rape
Fences
2008-03-10 06:47:00 Once you have a fence you can?t really get ride of it easily. I?ve been trying to think of a way that you could, but I can?t. I think that?s because no fence is really yours. It?s your fence, but also three other peoples? fence too. Whoever lives next to you, on either side, owns part of your fence, and the same with the person living behind you. The gate is yours, the rest of it is only partially yours, a fraction yours, a third. And like anti-ballistic missiles in a peace agreement no one wants to get ride of their fence first. And in fact with a fence you can?t. Maybe if you convinced your neighbors on all three sides to take their part of the fence down with you, had mutual permission to remove the fencing from around your property a person could do away with fences. But that doesn?t seem very realistic. Even so, if your fence were gone then the three other properties and your own would look like one great big green inverted T or like one of those Tetris pieces that?s s...
Halloween, Part two
2008-03-02 06:53:00 ...continued...When I was in middle and elementary school I?d trick or treat with Sean Anderson and my older brother would go out with his older brother, Bret. Sean and I were really good friends for a long time. Through kindergarten and most of elementary school Sean and his brother would come over for Halloween . We?d spend the whole afternoon running around the backyard, digging through the basement and pulling up weird toys and play weapons to bash around with. Just as it would start to get dark Sean and I would pull out a bin of old clothes, torn up shirts and knotted neck ties, old blue jeans with paint and fake blood smeared all over them. I never really knew what we were those Halloweens; sometimes zombies, sometimes scientists, sometimes just accident victims. I?d plan and plan for weeks what I was going to be each year for that one night and yet somehow it was easy enough to in just a few moments of drastic searching to transform Sean and myself from too laughing kids... More About: Part
Fish Lovers
2008-02-23 07:14:00 Superheroes were everything when I was little? But? Aquaman? well Aquaman was just? how can I put this lightly? Worthless. And so was his archnemesis Black Manta. Seriously, do you even know who he is? Does anyone even care who Aquaman is? And so we have one a superhero and one a super villain. But, are either of them truly super? Are they heroes? Villains? I never read comic books as a child, but I knew a ton about superheroes for some reason or another. It was probably all those TV shows and maybe just word of mouth with my other friends, but we sure knew about them. We knew them like the back of our hands, like we knew the trench run of the Death Star, like we knew baseball and apple pie and Suburbia. Except, Aquaman was never really in that equation. Sure, we knew of him, but he was never in the forefront of our minds or our imaginations. Superman was there, Batman, Wolverine, Spider-man, The Incredible Hulk, even Nightcrawler, Gambit and Godzilla. ... More About: Fish , Lovers
Halloween, Part one
2008-02-17 10:03:00 When I was young, very young, I dressed up as Superman for every Halloween . Understand though that when I saw ? young? I mean before Superman suits had fake muscle chest, but also before I had memories. When I was young and all of my thoughts were framed through my father's camera and slid projector I dressed as Superman for Halloween. I do have one genuinely honest memory from those Halloweens though, I remember my mother knelling down in front of me and pulling my curl down over my forehead, just like Superman?s. We were in the hallway of our old house, at the bottom of the stairs, standing on the long rug that ran between the bathroom and the playroom. The bathroom shone a glorious white. White lighting, and yellow light bulbs and white, slick, smooth, cold porcelain tiles glared out of the bathroom and into the halls and out all the windows of the house. I doubt it was late enough at night for it to be dark out, even for a night in late October, but in my memories it was ... More About: Part
All Filler
2008-02-12 04:52:00 ...compliments of the Portland Mercury "~cockbag...tilde...bang~"Generic Ass
Dämmerung
2008-02-08 20:02:00 A friend once told me that one day I would be in a relationship that made me realize how one really was supposed to be. That, sadly enough, I would actually understand how they work, how I work? understand that I was? happy. That idea bounced about in my head for weeks, months, maybe even longer, my mind, my heart, my soul mulling it over, fighting it, alternately embracing and rejecting that notion. That silly, profound notion of happiness. In the end she was right, I?m sure of it, though I?m not quite sure if I know it yet. It has always seemed to me that the beginning of relationships are the easiest? they are the most awkward and worrisome, but they are also the most exciting and simple periods. I think that once you get past that, you really know where you stand, you should truly be able to see where things are going, even if you are too blind or stupid or ignorant to realize it at the time. If you really sit back and look, maybe, just maybe you can see into the fu...
Apartment A2
2008-02-06 00:40:00 My first apartment had bumpy, uneven floors and a tick in the walls. I was living in the old apartment when she broke up with me. The second night I spent there she and I went around the apartment and had sex in every one of its rooms. This was before I?d even gotten any furniture moved in. My bed would remain on the floor where I first dropped it for the entirety of my time living there. We had sex in every room that night: mine, the closet, the living room, even my roommates room, right next to the frame of his bed, a cold painted steel frame leaning against the wall. She was on all fours and I was on my knees too, right where he?d eventually put his bed, right next to his picture of Jesus. She sat on the ledge in front of the sink in the kitchen and I fucked here there too. I was bumpy and uneven and paunchy and she was perfect, fit and slim; dark, olive skin; callous and still fragile. After she?d broken up with me it was never very easy to do dishes again, to stand in fro...
Happy Black History Month
2008-02-02 07:55:00 ...from all your pals here at BSD.CML, Black Manta Historian More About: History , Happy , Black History , Month
Super Friends
2008-01-29 06:06:00 I found this and started missing all of my super friends. This is for you guys. Matt, I hope your trip went well. John, I'm sorry I missed you last time, but next time we'll rocket. Paul, thanks for posting again. KB, thanks for the Gatorade.CML More About: Friends , Super
William Carlos Williams
More articles from this author:2008-01-20 18:30:00 "so much dependsupon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater beside the whitechickens."Seriously... that's supposed to mean something? That's supposed to be deep and influential? I'm supposed to sit here for hours and ponder the sophisticated meaning? No, fuck that. You're not cute, William Carlos Williams . Go take your wheelbarrow shaped couplets and your chickens and learn from a real poet. More About: Iams 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
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