The Bell Pages Blog The Bell Pages Blog I am step-mom to two boys, mom to two more, a wife, as well as dog, cat and goldfish owner. Should the growing laundry pile in the basement spark a life of it's own, I'll probably have to feed it too. So join me as I cook supper, mop the floor, put a Articles
Pssst, Don't Tell PETA
2008-03-31 08:16:00 The other night in Physiology lab I experienced the joy of putting goldfish into insulin shock. (Incidentally, goldfish do not enjoy this. They tend to spaz out and jump out of their insulin filled beaker.) The point was for my lab partner Lora and I to perform some fishy medical intervention and drop Goldie into glucose water at the last minute, thereby saving some lives. After turning in our lab reports on the victimization scientific experiment of the fish, the instructor asked if anyone wanted to adopt some of them. We had one tank in the house, empty in Sporty?s room. We had planned on getting him a betta, so I text Mr. Honeybell at work - Should I adopt the lab experiment goldfish? He has the idea that maybe Goofy would like them. His exact words were ?We?ll probably kill it, but Goofy would love it?. The deal is sealed, and I go home with 3 recently traumatized fish. You would think I brought home Sponge Bob Squarepants. On a pony. And a years supply of chocolate, and the p... More About: Peta
Pssst, Don't Tell PETA
2008-03-31 08:16:00 The other night in Physiology lab I experienced the joy of putting goldfish into insulin shock. (Incidentally, goldfish do not enjoy this. They tend to spaz out and jump out of their insulin filled beaker.) The point was for my lab partner Lora and I to perform some fishy medical intervention and drop Goldie into glucose water at the last minute, thereby saving some lives. After turning in our lab reports on the victimization scientific experiment of the fish, the instructor asked if anyone wanted to adopt some of them. We had one tank in the house, empty in Sporty?s room. We had planned on getting him a betta, so I text Mr. Honeybell at work - Should I adopt the lab experiment goldfish? He has the idea that maybe Goofy would like them. His exact words were ?We?ll probably kill it, but Goofy would love it?. The deal is sealed, and I go home with 3 recently traumatized fish. You would think I brought home Sponge Bob Squarepants. On a pony. And a years supply of chocolate, and the p... More About: Peta
There Isn't Enough Prozac In The World For This
2008-03-28 05:46:00 "Can I have some chips while I watch TV?" I'm washing what seems like every dish in the house, and the question barely registers. "Yes Goofy, that's fine. Just take the bag". Even one more dirty bowl may send me over the edge. Moments later I hear a verbal explosion from 12 year old Phone Boy in the living room."What are you doing with those? You can't just bring that whole bag in here! Those are MINE, I can so tell you what to do with them! They are too mine! I'm the reason we got them, I asked for them at the grocery store, and you don't need them!!"I am exasperated with this kind of behavior. Stupid little things sending these boys into full scale tantrums and exuding such hatred toward each other. If you cannot get along just don't speak!I try to intervene. Goofy puts the chips away, Phone Boy continues with sarcasm and excuses to justify the outburst. Stupidly, I join him. "Fine. Is there anything else here I've bought that you're laying claim to? Is ther... More About: World , The World
There Isn't Enough Prozac In The World For This
2008-03-28 05:46:00 "Can I have some chips while I watch TV?" I'm washing what seems like every dish in the house, and the question barely registers. "Yes Goofy, that's fine. Just take the bag". Even one more dirty bowl may send me over the edge. Moments later I hear a verbal explosion from 12 year old Phone Boy in the living room."What are you doing with those? You can't just bring that whole bag in here! Those are MINE, I can so tell you what to do with them! They are too mine! I'm the reason we got them, I asked for them at the grocery store, and you don't need them!!"I am exasperated with this kind of behavior. Stupid little things sending these boys into full scale tantrums and exuding such hatred toward each other. If you cannot get along just don't speak!I try to intervene. Goofy puts the chips away, Phone Boy continues with sarcasm and excuses to justify the outburst. Stupidly, I join him. "Fine. Is there anything else here I've bought that you're laying claim to? Is ther... More About: World , The World
Warning: Vulgar Language *or* Nefarious Honeybell
2008-03-27 06:21:00 So. How do we feel about bloggers using the dreaded "F" word? Or any expletive. Take for instance my personal favorite "rat bastard"? What about Mommy Bloggers in particular? This blog is not only a reflection of who I am, but HOW I am.How am I? Well I am a gutter mouth. I am somewhat reformed, as I've gotten older I try to only use my "sentence enhancers" in situations appropriate to the language. You won't hear my fuck flag rippling in the wind around the kids, around my patients, and in most cases around extended members of my family. When my parents were alive, even as an adult I would have sooner eaten a bug than utter any serious down and dirty cursing in front of them.In order to grasp the enormity of that statement, you should understand how much I HATE BUGS.Anyway.With my own children, even "shut up" is considered a 'bad word'. I am determined to raise polite children, at least polite enough to fool most strangers for the first 10 minutes of any possible child... More About: Language , Warning , Vulgar
Warning: Vulgar Language *or* Nefarious Honeybell
2008-03-27 06:21:00 So. How do we feel about bloggers using the dreaded "F" word? Or any expletive. Take for instance my personal favorite "rat bastard"? What about Mommy Bloggers in particular? This blog is not only a reflection of who I am, but HOW I am.How am I? Well I am a gutter mouth. I am somewhat reformed, as I've gotten older I try to only use my "sentence enhancers" in situations appropriate to the language. You won't hear my fuck flag rippling in the wind around the kids, around my patients, and in most cases around extended members of my family. When my parents were alive, even as an adult I would have sooner eaten a bug than utter any serious down and dirty cursing in front of them.In order to grasp the enormity of that statement, you should understand how much I HATE BUGS.Anyway.With my own children, even "shut up" is considered a 'bad word'. I am determined to raise polite children, at least polite enough to fool most strangers for the first 10 minutes of any possible child... More About: Language , Warning , Vulgar
What You've Been Waiting For - A Morning Self Portrait
2008-03-26 14:30:00 So I've been seeing this challenge around the blogosphere. A self portrait first thing in the morning. I know you have all been wondering "Is Honeybell taking part? Will we be lucky enough to see her crusty eyes and fuzzy teeth? I've always wondered what she looks like with no spackle!"Well, we can all exhale now. Sweetney began this dare, and I'm never one to forgo a double dog dare. This is me, upon waking. I warn you, I really HATE mornings (Click to make larger):And yes that is a poodle on my head. thankyouverymuchThese lovely ladies have also bared their morning faces, go see!SweetneyHer Bad MotherOh The JoysIzzyMomMrs. FlingerMother BumperMamaloguesBreed Em and WeepRedneck MommySarcastic MomNow what about you? All you have to do is take a self portrait first thing in the morning, post it, and add the links of those that have gone before you. C'mon. I dare you. More About: Morning , Portrait , Self Portrait , Waiting
What You've Been Waiting For - A Morning Self Portrait
2008-03-26 14:30:00 So I've been seeing this challenge around the blogosphere. A self portrait first thing in the morning. I know you have all been wondering "Is Honeybell taking part? Will we be lucky enough to see her crusty eyes and fuzzy teeth? I've always wondered what she looks like with no spackle!"Well, we can all exhale now. Sweetney began this dare, and I'm never one to forgo a double dog dare. This is me, upon waking. I warn you, I really HATE mornings (Click to make larger):And yes that is a poodle on my head. thankyouverymuchThese lovely ladies have also bared their morning faces, go see!SweetneyHer Bad MotherOh The JoysIzzyMomMrs. FlingerMother BumperMamaloguesBreed Em and WeepRedneck MommySarcastic MomNow what about you? All you have to do is take a self portrait first thing in the morning, post it, and add the links of those that have gone before you. C'mon. I dare you. More About: Morning , Portrait , Self Portrait , Waiting
What Did I Do With That Scarlet Letter?
2008-03-25 20:31:00 As I mentioned yesterday, it was my seventh wedding anniversary. As I was picking up Goofy Boy from school, his teacher pulled me aside, seemingly trying not to laugh. "I just wanted to let you know, Goofy was telling me that six years ago, he was alive in your tummy even though he wasn't born yet. I pointed out that he turned six in September, so he was already born six years ago today. He thought about it for a while, and said 'no, because ladies are pregnant for nine months, but today is my mom's seventh anniversary of her marriage!' I just thought you might want to know it could come up at home."Wow. Way to get called out on being a woman of loose moral standards by my six year old. And his kindergarten teacher. More About: Letter
What Did I Do With That Scarlet Letter?
2008-03-25 20:31:00 As I mentioned yesterday, it was my seventh wedding anniversary. As I was picking up Goofy Boy from school, his teacher pulled me aside, seemingly trying not to laugh. "I just wanted to let you know, Goofy was telling me that six years ago, he was alive in your tummy even though he wasn't born yet. I pointed out that he turned six in September, so he was already born six years ago today. He thought about it for a while, and said 'no, because ladies are pregnant for nine months, but today is my mom's seventh anniversary of her marriage!' I just thought you might want to know it could come up at home."Wow. Way to get called out on being a woman of loose moral standards by your six year old. And his kindergarten teacher. More About: Letter
Got Crabs?
2008-03-24 19:57:00 If you would like a post about our Easter, go here. This year was essentially the same, but the kids are slightly taller.Today I have been married for seven years. Mr. Honeybell came home from work this morning and greeted me with a big kiss and "Happy Anniversary, we made it seven years Baby!"This was followed up with an exaggerated scratch of the testes and the question "Say, do you itch?"Oh how that man makes me swoon.If you would like a slightly mushier post (only slightly) regarding my anniversary complete with wedding pictures go here.
Got Crabs?
2008-03-24 19:57:00 If you would like a post about our Easter, go here. This year was essentially the same, but the kids are slightly taller.Today I have been married for seven years. Mr. Honeybell came home from work this morning and greeted me with a big kiss and "Happy Anniversary, we made it seven years Baby!"This was followed up with an exaggerated scratch of the testes and the question "Say, do you itch?"Oh how that man makes me swoon.If you would like a slightly mushier post (only slightly) regarding my anniversary complete with wedding pictures go here.
Pave Paradise And Put Up A Parking Lot
2008-03-21 18:57:00 Mr. Honeybell takes our yard seriously. He wants a luscious green lawn. The trouble comes with the two huge oak trees in the front that still haven't dropped all their leaves, but have dropped about SIXTEEN THOUSAND MILLION ACORNS. There aren't enough squirrels in the world to eat all the acorns from these fucking trees.We spent yesterday raking all the leaves and acorns from the front and back yards. This is about the third time since fall befell us . . . but it just won't quit. Now we have been much more environmentally aware as of late. Trying to get greener, etc. However I must tell you, my aching back and blistered hands? Today they don't care about the environment. Today they are proclaiming "Fuck nature. Pave it all." Today (just today) I'm inclined to agree with them. More About: Parking , Paradise
Pave Paradise And Put Up A Parking Lot
2008-03-21 18:57:00 Mr. Honeybell takes our yard seriously. He wants a luscious green lawn. The trouble comes with the two huge oak trees in the front that still haven't dropped all their leaves, but have dropped about SIXTEEN THOUSAND MILLION ACORNS. There aren't enough squirrels in the world to eat all the acorns from these fucking trees.We spent yesterday raking all the leaves and acorns from the front and back yards. This is about the third time since fall befell us . . . but it just won't quit. Now we have been much more environmentally aware as of late. Trying to get greener, etc. However I must tell you, my aching back and blistered hands? Today they don't care about the environment. Today they are proclaiming "Fuck nature. Pave it all." Today (just today) I'm inclined to agree with them. More About: Parking , Paradise
My Life In Pictures: 37 Years of Honeybell
2008-03-19 18:29:00 Today, in honor of my birthday, I present to you 37 years of Honeybell. A lot of these pictures are not the greatest quality, but I choose each for a reason, they're all important for one reason or another.This is the earliest picture of me I've ever seen. I used to tease my mom "Did you people not have a camera? You took NO pictures when you had me in the hospital?"We also had that dress for a long time, I remember dressing my stuffed animals in it.My sister and I in our matching swimsuits. I might as well have been wearing a ski-parka, as I was TERRIFIED of water. You can bet this swimsuit never saw a drop of water! I'm guessing this is my 3rd birthday. That's my sister sitting next to me.ChristmasI remember that Noah's Ark play set, It was one of my favorite toys EVAH!Another birthday party!My brother and I on one of our visits to our grandparent's house in Oklahoma. Check out his snazzy plaid pants! That's also not a stuffed dog I'm holding. That was ... More About: Pictures , Life , My Life , Years
My Life In Pictures: 37 Years of Honeybell
2008-03-19 18:29:00 Today, in honor of my birthday, I present to you 37 years of Honeybell. A lot of these pictures are not the greatest quality, but I choose each for a reason, they're all important for one reason or another.This is the earliest picture of me I've ever seen. I used to tease my mom "Did you people not have a camera? You took NO pictures when you had me in the hospital?"We also had that dress for a long time, I remember dressing my stuffed animals in it.My sister and I in our matching swimsuits. I might as well have been wearing a ski-parka, as I was TERRIFIED of water. You can bet this swimsuit never saw a drop of water! I'm guessing this is my 3rd birthday. That's my sister sitting next to me.ChristmasI remember that Noah's Ark play set, It was one of my favorite toys EVAH!Another birthday party!My brother and I on one of our visits to our grandparent's house in Oklahoma. Check out his snazzy plaid pants! That's also not a stuffed dog I'm holding. That was ... More About: Pictures , Life , My Life , Years
Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Rinse and Repeat.
2008-03-18 20:12:00 The hospital I work at is a small one. Our OB unit only has four beds, and we only deliver about 200 babies a year. What happens the other 165 days you ask? Well I sit home on call earning a whopping $1.25 an hour waiting to be called in for a labor patient. Lately I've had a lot of call days, especially since I only work weekends now while I'm in school. Not only are we feeling the financial crunch, but I apparently have forgotten how to behave in the company of other people when I am at work.*It was 2 o'clock in the morning, no one was in sight. I was carrying my lunch tray to the elevator, when my iced tea tipped over spilling all over my food. Naturally this called for me to yell "sonofabitch!" Immediately the Nursing House Supervisor's voice carried from around the corner "I heard that!"*I was leaving the hospital after my shift. I had parked right in front, directly under a sign that reads "Outpatient Parking Only". My friend Debbie saw me and teasingly yelled "Y... More About: Open , Mouth , Foot
Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Rinse and Repeat.
2008-03-18 20:12:00 The hospital I work at is a small one. Our OB unit only has four beds, and we only deliver about 200 babies a year. What happens the other 165 days you ask? Well I sit home on call earning a whopping $1.25 an hour waiting to be called in for a labor patient. Lately I've had a lot of call days, especially since I only work weekends now while I'm in school. Not only are we feeling the financial crunch, but I apparently have forgotten how to behave in the company of other people when I am at work.*It was 2 o'clock in the morning, no one was in sight. I was carrying my lunch tray to the elevator, when my iced tea tipped over spilling all over my food. Naturally this called for me to yell "sonofabitch!" Immediately the Nursing House Supervisor's voice carried from around the corner "I heard that!"*I was leaving the hospital after my shift. I had parked right in front, directly under a sign that reads "Outpatient Parking Only". My friend Debbie saw me and teasingly yelled "Y... More About: Open , Mouth , Foot
Why You Should Feel Sorry For My Children
2008-03-17 21:40:00 Goofy Boy is learning to read. I love watching him sound out the words and discovering this amazing new world opening up for him. I've always loved to read, the two older boys are avid readers, and now Goofy will soon be joining our ranks.However.This also means he can read the saved programs on the DVR, thereby criticizing my television viewing habits accordingly."Honey? Why do you have 100 Lost's on there?"This turns into a Honeybell tirade about Lost to a 6 year boy whose idea of Quality Programming involves a yellow sponge."OMG! Because Sawyer is, like, the hottest guy ever, and I can't believe that Kate didn't move in with him, and Jack is SO annoying I'd like to slap him or else lock him in a room with Ben, and didn't you see Hurley with the van? It was so cool but now I'm so worried that Jin is dead because that would SUCK ASS, and of course now Michael is back and I certainly would like to hear HIS excuse for killling Libby and Anna Lucia (ok, granted Miss 'I Sh... More About: Children , Feel
Why You Should Feel Sorry For My Children
2008-03-17 21:40:00 Goofy Boy is learning to read. I love watching him sound out the words and discovering this amazing new world opening up for him. I've always loved to read, the two older boys are avid readers, and now Goofy will soon be joining our ranks.However.This also means he can read the saved programs on the DVR, thereby criticizing my television viewing habits accordingly."Honey? Why do you have 100 Lost's on there?"This turns into a Honeybell tirade about Lost to a 6 year boy whose idea of Quality Programming involves a yellow sponge."OMG! Because Sawyer is, like, the hottest guy ever, and I can't believe that Kate didn't move in with him, and Jack is SO annoying I'd like to slap him or else lock him in a room with Ben, and didn't you see Hurley with the van? It was so cool but now I'm so worried that Jin is dead because that would SUCK ASS, and of course now Michael is back and I certainly would like to hear HIS excuse for killling Libby and Anna Lucia (ok, granted Miss 'I Sh... More About: Children , Feel
It's All About Karma Baby
2008-03-13 18:37:00 Remember this post? Yeah, the one where I tagged myself, but then was too drunk to remember where I did it because I suck and and am a total loser?Well guess what! The wonderful lady whose blog I saw it on is on the total opposite of the suckage spectrum. She saw the post and kindly said "HELLO BOOZER! IT WAS ME!", only she was much nicer than that about it.So please go visit Ya . . . About That . . . and add her to your reader, and favorite her on Technorati, and send her presents and stuff.Because if you're going to read blogs, it should be blogs by really nice people, instead of total assholes like me. More About: Baby , Karma
It's All About Karma Baby
2008-03-13 18:37:00 Remember this post? Yeah, the one where I tagged myself, but then was too drunk to remember where I did it because I suck and and am a total loser?Well guess what! The wonderful lady whose blog I saw it on is on the total opposite of the suckage spectrum. She saw the post and kindly said "HELLO BOOZER! IT WAS ME!", only she was much nicer than that about it.So please go visit Ya . . . About That . . . and add her to your reader, and favorite her on Technorati, and send her presents and stuff.Because if you're going to read blogs, it should be blogs by really nice people, instead of total assholes like me. More About: Baby , Karma
Bodies Revealed
2008-03-12 17:47:00 Kansas City's Union Station is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever encountered. Last night as my friend Lora and I had dinner in the courtyard style restaurant, I looked around in wonderment at the beauty and the history of the place. It wasn't my first visit, and won't be my last. Yet every time I enter the building, I'm simply awestruck.You can read more about what has happened with Union Station here.It actually has a fascinating history, and yes, we looked for the bullet holes on the front of the building.However Lora and I weren't there for the history, our purpose was almost in direct contrast with the beauty of the place. We were there for the dead. Union Station currently has an exhibition of Bodies Revealed, real bodies preserved in a polymer state. We were there for a lecture discussing the ethical concerns regarding exhibitions of this sort. As you can imagine, the concerns are numerous.Where do the bodies come from?Have people actually consented to...
Bodies Revealed
2008-03-12 17:47:00 Kansas City's Union Station is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever encountered. Last night as my friend Lora and I had dinner in the courtyard style restaurant, I looked around in wonderment at the beauty and the history of the place. It wasn't my first visit, and won't be my last. Yet every time I enter the building, I'm simply awestruck.You can read more about what has happened with Union Station here.It actually has a fascinating history, and yes, we looked for the bullet holes on the front of the building.However Lora and I weren't there for the history, our purpose was almost in direct contrast with the beauty of the place. We were there for the dead. Union Station currently has an exhibition of Bodies Revealed, real bodies preserved in a polymer state. We were there for a lecture discussing the ethical concerns regarding exhibitions of this sort. As you can imagine, the concerns are numerous.Where do the bodies come from?Have people actually consented to...
NOW I know . . . .
2008-03-10 18:05:00 "A vast array of pharmaceuticals ? including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones ? have been found in the drinking water . . . "To think of the money I could have saved.
NOW I know . . . .
2008-03-10 18:05:00 "A vast array of pharmaceuticals ? including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones ? have been found in the drinking water . . . "To think of the money I could have saved.
Phone Boy's Bad Week
2008-03-07 18:45:00 In case I haven't mentioned this before, Phone Boy is an great kid. His intelligence frequently stuns adults. The way his mind works is nothing short of amazing. He has recently been accepted into Who's Who of American Middle School students, was tested for and accepted into the gifted program (in Kansas this is no easy feat), and was responsible and independent enough to travel to the UK for two weeks at the age of 10 as a student ambassador. During Parent-Teacher conferences I discovered he currently has a 214% in one of his math classes. He finished his 7th grade work, and has decided to begin the 8th grade math so he won't have to take the class next year. A few weeks ago he had a snow day. He and his BFF spent the day shoveling driveways and sidewalks for people all over our town. They made $160, and only charged what they thought the people could afford, between 5 and 10 dollars. Some houses (elderly folks) they did for free. We are incredibly proud of him.Now at t... More About: Week , Crazy People
Phone Boy's Bad Week
2008-03-07 18:45:00 In case I haven't mentioned this before, Phone Boy is an great kid. His intelligence frequently stuns adults. The way his mind works is nothing short of amazing. He has recently been accepted into Who's Who of American Middle School students, was tested for and accepted into the gifted program (in Kansas this is no easy feat), and was responsible and independent enough to travel to the UK for two weeks at the age of 10 as a student ambassador. During Parent-Teacher conferences I discovered he currently has a 214% in one of his math classes. He finished his 7th grade work, and has decided to begin the 8th grade math so he won't have to take the class next year. A few weeks ago he had a snow day. He and his BFF spent the day shoveling driveways and sidewalks for people all over our town. They made $160, and only charged what they thought the people could afford, between 5 and 10 dollars. Some houses (elderly folks) they did for free. We are incredibly proud of him.Now at t... More About: Week , Crazy People
Contest Winner!
2008-03-06 16:10:00 Scroll down for the Ugly Car Contest winner, or watch the video of the drawing of the name! Congratulations Huckdoll! You, along with Coma Girl, Anna Beth, Rachel, and Elizabeth from Table For Five, correctly guessed that I had bought an Aztec! The bright yellow aberration is fantastic and I love it! Thank you to Tanya, Maria, Busy Dad, Dixie Chick, Becky, Amy, Winslow, and Neighborhood Mom for playing!I read somewhere that "the Aztec looks like it had two teams of designers. One team for the front, and one for the back. How unfortunate that they never spoke to each other" As ugly as it is, I LOVE driving this car. It also came with a FREAKING TENT. It attaches to the back and I now GO CAMPING . . . wherever I drive!! I am officially the coolest girl ever driving an ugly potential tent. More About: Winner
Contest Winner!
More articles from this author:2008-03-06 16:10:00 Scroll down for the Ugly Car Contest winner, or watch the video of the drawing of the name! Congratulations Huckdoll! You, along with Coma Girl, Anna Beth, Rachel, and Elizabeth from Table For Five, correctly guessed that I had bought an Aztec! The bright yellow aberration is fantastic and I love it! Thank you to Tanya, Maria, Busy Dad, Dixie Chick, Becky, Amy, Winslow, and Neighborhood Mom for playing!I read somewhere that "the Aztec looks like it had two teams of designers. One team for the front, and one for the back. How unfortunate that they never spoke to each other" As ugly as it is, I LOVE driving this car. It also came with a FREAKING TENT. It attaches to the back and I now GO CAMPING . . . wherever I drive!! I am officially the coolest girl ever driving an ugly potential tent. More About: Winner 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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