The Bell Pages Blog The Bell Pages Blog I am step-mom to two boys, mom to two more, a wife, as well as dog, cat and goldfish owner. Should the growing laundry pile in the basement spark a life of it's own, I'll probably have to feed it too. So join me as I cook supper, mop the floor, put a Articles
My Meme-Shameless
2007-12-05 18:07:00 Becky at Chocolate Party , and Rachel at "From the Land of Monkeys and Princesses"have tagged me for this meme!This is a really fun one. You need your iPod, for this. It?s a list of questions that you answer with the title of a random song. So?I put my iPod on shuffle and here are the questions with the song title answers?it?s hilarious! I swear, I shuffled the songs and this is the order it gave me! 1. Would would describe your personality?Paradise City by Guns N Roses 2. What do you like in a guy/girl?Moondance - Van Morrison 3. How do you feel, today?Massive Cure - Smoosh 4. What?s your life?s purpose?Taking Over Me - Evanescence (oh my!) 5. What is your motto?Bring Me to Life - Evanescence 6. What do your friends think of you?I'll Be (the greatest fan of your life) HA! HA! 7. What do you think of your parents?She Talks to Angels - The Black Crowes (wow!) 8. What do you think about very often?Superstar - Saliva 9. What do you think of your best friend?Fortunate Foo... More About: Meme , Shame , Mele
It's That Time Again!
2007-12-04 18:03:00 Time to play:WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??I am having an extramarital affair with Google analytics. Shhh . . . don't tell Mr. Honeybell. I always wonder if people who search for this off the wall stuff are disappointed when they get here. So help me out here, if you are a weirdo that wound up here by accident, are you surprised? Traumatized? Disgusted? I really want to know. In any case, here are my favorite search words that led folks here, in the order that made me laugh hardest:~ A stunning number of you have arrived here looking for "marijuana" . Haven't you heard? Take it from Nancy Reagan and JUST SAY NO. (plus I don't share)~ "Hundreds of Penises". Wow. I don't even know what to say about that.~ "Bralessness" is still a favorite. WHOO HOO!!~ "Can you fake a contraction" No. I can tell if you're faking. There is no way to fake labor without your nurse or doctor knowing. We may not tell you we know you're faking, we'll just talk about you once you leave. ... More About: Time
Gratitude: For Blankie Sleepers
2007-12-04 05:49:00 They make my baby a warm, snuggly, little round blue ball of joy! More About: Sleepers , Gratitude , Sleeper
We Know How To Deal With Bears Like You!
2007-12-03 19:09:00 On any given day this is what Goofy Boy's bed looks like:I have to limit him to six or seven animals on the bed, or he won't allow enough room for himself. He LOVES stuffed animals, always has. From the time he could crawl, he was always hauling along one of his little animals with him. For 2 years of preschool he had to take a little animal with him. Here are the animals I won't allow on the bed :Given his love of stuffed animals, I had to wonder when I encountered this:What did that seemingly innocent bear do to deserve this? Make a note - do NOT cross Goofy Boy. Apparently he'll get medieval on your ass. More About: Bears , Deal , Bear , Like You
Gratitude: For experiencing phone calls like this one-
2007-12-01 17:45:00 Miss School Secretary: Goofy Boy is here in the office, and seems to think he's having some kind of allergic reaction . . . .Me: O-kayy . . . . what's going on?Miss School Secretary: Well, would you like to talk to him?Me: Please.Goofy Boy: Honey? Hi how are you?Me: I'm fine sweetie pea, what's going on? Are you having problems with your asthma?Goofy Boy: No Honey . . . (nearly in tears) I CAN'T STOP SNEEZING!!!Me: You are calling me to come get you from school because you are sneezing????Goofy Boy: I don't want you to come get me, I want you to come here and make me better!!Me: Sweetie pea, have you blown your nose?Goofy Boy: *SNIFF* . . . . . . no.Me: Ok, well I think you will be fine if you just blow your nose.Goofy Boy: Well Honey, I don't think I can do that. I don't know where any tissue is. Can't you just come here and make me better? *Achoo!*Me: No Goofy, all you need to do is blow your nose. Let me talk to Miss School Secretary and she... More About: Phone , Calls , Gratitude , Phone Calls , Phone call
On Being 36
2007-11-30 21:10:00 I've met a lot of new people going to school, there is a small group of us that go for coffee or breakfast in the mornings. As I sat at our table the other day, one of the guys was telling a funny story, and I'm thinking "I really like him, he's a pretty cool guy." That's when the evil Honeybell voice kicked in with "Of course he is, he's 19 freaking years old you old bat!! You are old enough to be his mother and you are so UNCOOL . . . not that anyone says that anymore anyway."I am 36. Shit. I don't feel that old, and I never thought getting older would bother me . . . but it does. Granted I looked almost exactly the same from the age of 15 to 30, so I imagine that had quite a bit to do with my nonchalance. Then I had two babies, and out of nowhere I have these circles under my eyes, my skin looks like crap. I've gained 30 pounds, and there are GRAY HAIRS, do you hear me? They are GRAY. And guess what? Those hairs are not only gray, but they are coarse! And not c...
Memin' Again
2007-11-29 17:15:00 I've been tagged by Jessica at It's My Life Laugh If You Must!You have to come up with seven ?facts? about self and post these rules:1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.2) Share 7 facts about yourself.3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.5)Then I have to tag 7 innocent bloggers.Facts about me:1. I make the best chocolate chip cookies EVAH.2. I've been banned from drinking tequila by TWO previous boyfriends. Evidently I become loud and obnoxious under the influence of Jose. (yeah. Like I even need tequila.)3. I wear a size 5 shoe.4. I can read an average sized book ( 400 pages or so) in 12 hours.5. I am actually shy and quiet in real life. I'm only loud and obnoxious when I'm with people I know well. Or under the influence of Jose.6. Sometimes I am too stupid to realize the reason I can't sleep is I'm too hot...
Woefully Negligent
2007-11-28 20:29:00 I am not prepared for life lately, other than my lack of daily blogging here is a prime example:That, my friends, is my yard. I'm hoping to find one of the boys when we finally utilize the leaf blower. We've been missing one since Thursday.Here is a pic of Monkey Boy laughing at his insane mother taking pictures of the yard:One thing we have managed to do is this:A new TV! This is also known as "spending money you don't have". There is only so much of the big green circle on the screen I can take though.Then I had some rat bastard hack my myspace and leave my friends advertisements on their myspaces. I had to change my password, remove all code that wasn't mine, and then delete the stupid comments. If you got one and I haven't removed it yet I'm sorry! I'm a very popular girl and it's taking a while!! (ha. truth leans more toward laziness than popularity) In any case I have finally gotten it recoded and fixed (hopefully).I simply don't have the energy to do much... More About: Gent
Memories of Mom
2007-11-26 18:54:00 ~ We were at our Kansas town's version of a "beach", truckloads of sand extending out into the local lake. I sat in my pink polyester bikini she had sewn for me. The water barely lapping at my backside while I yelled: "Look Mom! I'm in the DEEP!" She tried carrying me to knee deep water once, I believe I ended up practically sitting on her head to avoid the water.~Driving. She had just told my sister and I that she and my father might divorce, and we needed to decide who we wanted to live with. I hugged the back of her headrest with eyes closed. I would never leave my mommy.~She's talking to my kindergarten teacher. Amused and concerned that I color cows brown, ducks yellow, but I always color pigs using every crayon in the box.~My sister comes out of the bedroom crying. "she wants you now." I don't want to go . . . she's sad and staying in bed again. I'm afraid. I don't understand what she says for her tears, and I don't like the bad smelling bottle next to the ... More About: Memories
Note To Self . . . Stop With The Crack
2007-11-23 16:47:00 I got up at 4 AM to shop today. Because I am a complete and utter fool. I've never participated in this particular stupid "Day After Thanksgiving Christmas Shopping" dumb ass tradition before. Never Again.I tried to buy a big screen TV, but I didn't know they allowed stun guns at Best Buy. Glad I decided to wear the stiletto heels though . . . that lady won't ever try to get the last clock radio again. More About: Note , Stop , Crack , Note to Self
An Open Letter To The Person Who Tried To Break Into My Car
2007-11-21 19:33:00 Dear Asshole,I live in a nice neighborhood, in a town with less than 75,000 people. This would lead me to believe that you are the same person who did this, and this. I could be wrong, but see where being an asshole gets you? That's right, stereotyped as the bad guy who gets blamed for everything.Now then, did you seriously believe that trying to pry open my car door was going to accomplish anything other than chipping my paint? Granted, my door isn't opening correctly now either, but I can't see as how that did much for you. You must be extremely stupid. Other than that, there are a number of things that lead me to that point.*What were you after exactly? I cannot believe that you wanted the college textbooks on the seat. You simply don't strike me as the intellectual type.*Did the two carseats and stroller lead you to believe there are large amounts of cash stashed in my car? Or was it the week old fruit snacks littering the floor? Clearly you need assistance in reco... More About: Open , Break , Letter , Person , Open Letter
Future Politician?
2007-11-21 18:06:00 We had a plethora of little boys at our house last night.Me: "Guys! I'm making a couple of frozen pizzas now, and when your Dad gets home, he's bringing home a couple from Domino's also. But you can eat these first."Goofy Boy: "Honey, it's not that I don't appreciate what you've done . . . but I do like take out pizza just a little bit more than what you're making. But really, I appreciate that you're doing that. Really." More About: Future , Politician , Politic
Bittersweet, With Added Sugar
2007-11-20 04:00:00 My nephew was married this weekend. I am thrilled for him and his wonderful new bride,Megan, as well as their beautiful baby boy, but the entire occasion was a little nostalgic for me.I was 15 when Ken was born. When he was about 9 months old he came to live with us. My parents doted on him as the sun rose and set upon his curly little head. He was 13 when we lost my dad, and only 20 when we lost Mom last December.They would have loved seeing him get married. Mom knew and adored Megan, and I know Dad would have as well. Meg keeps Kenny in line . . . and God love him, he needs the guidance. I really would have gotten a kick out of seeing how proud my parents would have been, seeing their handsome grandson beginning a his adult life and cementing his family together.I very happy that Ken & Meg's beautiful, redheaded curly haired little boy will continue to carry on the family name. I only wish he had known the people that made the name so dear to me.On the lighter, more j... More About: Sugar , Bittersweet
Rebel With A Meme
2007-11-16 20:55:00 Rachel From the Land of Monkeys and Princesses tagged me for the "Middle Name Meme ". And here I thought she liked me. This one is a doozie. I would like to thank The Academy and Dictionary.com for their support during the making of this meme.Here are the rules:1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don?t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don?t forget to leave them a comment telling them they?re tagged, and to read your blog.My middle name is Renee (could be worse)Relativity Theory EndorserEstrogen LadenNap LovingEspresso AddictedEmbezzler (Ok, no not really, but c'mon, 3 "e's"??)Now I realize there ... More About: Rebel
The Closest We Come To Knowing A Moose
2007-11-15 19:29:00 Our friend Tony came over recently to use our computer. He lives out in the country where there is only dial up (Oh! The Horror!). So he never uses his computer unless he's here (How can anyone live without the interwebz??!). Lucky for us, he brought his beautiful Great Dane Annie to visit. Sweet lovable Dane + little boys = HOURS of entertainment.Goofy treated her with the regard given to the Queen of Sheba. By the end of the day Annie was covered with the afghan, propped up with pillows, and had access to a variety of toys and delectable foods.Poor Frodo the Wonder Dog still doesn't understand why he and Annie aren't BFF's. I'm not sure he understands the premise that Annie is QUEEN OF EVERYTHING, and he is only one of her pathetic underlings. One day Annie will eat him, and it will all become clear to him.A warm cozy backrest. Annie and Monkey are BFF's. Annie came to visit the week Monkey was born. Annie gave him a sniff, and immediately gave his head a great do... More About: Knowing
I Told You I Was Popular
2007-11-14 17:22:00 I've been given an award! Oh The Joys has splattered me with this one:I'm honored!! I'm passing this one to Mad Goat Lady, my new friend Mauniejames, and my new favorite dad blogger, Jared at DadThing.I've also been tagged by Becky over at Chocolate Party(I love that name) for the 7 things about me meme. She tagged me a while ago, but I'd just done 2 'about me' memes, so I've been saving it. Besides, after yesterday's post you clearly haven't heard enough about my personal life.~I think that Rm. 312 in my hospital is haunted.~I love starting IV's, giving shots, and inserting nasogastric tubes. I must be a secret sadist.~I once stole a life-sized Santa from the hospital basement, put in the on call bed of a Physician's Assistant, and plugged it in so it would wave at him when he went into the room. (He always said that Santa scared him, it kinda looked like Chucky)~I think that most hospital waiting rooms should come equipped with Valium salt licks.~I cried the firs... More About: Popular , Told , Pula
Probably More Than You Need To Know
2007-11-13 17:16:00 I had just purchased a new jar of peach scented sugaring wax. I want to liberate myself from the razor and begin waxing the unsightly hairy areas . . . and some areas that aren't in sight. I was very disappointed to learn however, that my overgrowth wasn't quite over grown enough. Not to mention my still prickly left armpit hurt like hell after the attempt."It's not fair! I want to wax something!" Mr. Honeybell eyed me, amused. "Well, you can wax me if you want."*blink*"You want manscaped?!""Sure, why not?!"(Insert thought cloud over my head here)Heh, heh, heh! My evil plan is working out perfectly! Does he remember that time in the car when he told me I talked to much, and he just wanted to listen to music? Oh, and what about after I asked him please, let's not ever just not talk again when we're angry . . . . and that was the first thing he did after the next argument . . . . not to mention putting the empty food containers back in the cabinet!! Hell yeah I'll wax ... More About: Probably
Veterans Day
2007-11-12 16:04:00 This morning driving home from school I noticed a lot of classic old cars decorated with American Flags. They were headed downtown for the Veterans Day parade. Our town can boast of being adjacent to a major military fort, the oldest continuously active post west of the Mississippi. We're big on the military here. The military and prisons, that 's what we do here. We are so obviously a fun loving people.Anyway-I realized that we are unique from many Americans in that we are surrounded by active military and veterans every day. You can't spit in this town without hitting military personnel or federal property owned by the military (I DO NOT recommend this, figure of speech folks!).Regardless of politics, I think thanking those who serve in harm's way is of paramount importance for every American today. To be totally cheesy, I'll quote Demi Moore talking about soldiers in the movie "A Few Good Men":" . . . they stand upon a wall and say, 'Nothing's going to hurt you to... More About: Veterans Day , S Day
Maybe This Should Be A National Holiday
2007-11-09 18:52:00 This is what I looked like yesterday. This is important to keep in mind throughout this post.So I'm innocently wandering the aisles at Walmart (yes, I know--build me a Target next door, PLEASE) when I notice a pacifier lying on the floor. There is a couple in front of me with two little guys in their cart. "Excuse me, is that pacifier yours?"The gentleman (and I use this term lightly) looks at me for a long time, doesn't look at the pacifier. Finally he answers no, turns to his wife and remarks loudly: "It must be white trash day at Walmart."HUH?!I look down, what am I wearing? Not that bad-I'm breaking Fussy's "respect ye rack" rule, but still . . . I look at Monkey Boy sitting in the cart. Clean face, both shoes on, clean cute outfit on. I check the contents of my cart: Pampers, body wash, Ticonderoga pencils (these are the BEST by the way), mac & cheese, tuna, and peas . . . but surely he didn't know I was going to combine the three . . . Now I'm thinking:WTF?! ... More About: National , Holiday , Crazy People
My Love Affair
2007-11-08 17:41:00 I am a woman obsessed. With this guy:I have a habit of getting obsessed with one certain artist, and listening to nothing else. For months. Most recently it was the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but Jack Johnson now has my full attention. Especially after watching videos like this:My reaction to almost every song he sings is "Oh! This one is my favorite!" I just love this Hawaiian surfer dude! This current obsession is much to the dismay of Mr. Honeybell and the boys--they simply can't appreciate Jack the way I do.*sigh* Be still my beating heart.What? I'm a nurse. That heart is sincere and romantic. More About: Love , Affair
Honeybell = Harbinger of Death to Dentists
2007-11-06 15:07:00 I was traumatized by a dentist at age eight. My regular dentist had retired, and my mother was recommended to this quack DDS by a friend. A friend who apparently hated me with the fire of a thousand burning suns.Dr. SickoSonOfABitch was a sadist who was too cheap to mix his impression paste to the right ratio, thereby occluding my airway with every impression taken. To take x-rays he would use this contraption that moved these plastic pegs into my ears, perhaps to hold my head still. In any case, he moved the little pegs so tightly into my ears, I was streaming tears before he even began the x-ray. After two sessions, my mother never took me back.Now I think I may be wreaking revenge against all those who carry the drill.For years I refused to go to a dentist. I cleaned my teeth with an OCD passion, and flossed like one possessed. Possessed with plaque demons perhaps. Finally, in high school, I found a dentist I LOVED. He was a sweet, gentle, man. Not only a great dentist b... More About: Death , Bing , Harbin
Happy 2nd Birthday Monkey!
2007-11-05 18:18:00 Once Upon A Time, Honeybell and Mr. Honeybell had three little boys. Each one was cuter than the next, and they were sure their little family was complete.However one day, Honeybell was sent home from work on Valentine's Day, only to find the 3 little boys in bed, and a bottle of wine waiting for her. She and Mr. Honeybell drank the bottle of wine, and shared some together time.Several weeks later, they got a surprise!Honeybell was going to have a new little bell! They hoped and hoped for a girl bell, but alas, Mr. Honeybell apparently doesn't make girls. They talked and planned for their new little bell, whom they called "Lima Bean". (Disclaimer-I Paint Shop Pro-ed myself some new hair, bad pregnant hair day)And eight months later, they had a Beautiful Bouncing Baby Boy Bell!He was the sweetest little bell, and each brother loved him very much.Now that little Baby Lima Bean is Monkey Boy. He turned two years old yesterday-and everyday he reminds us that our family would NOT... More About: Happy , Birthday
Because Mr. Honeybell Is Sleeping, And No One Else Is Here:
2007-11-02 19:26:00 Honeybell's RantI had my academic advising today. I can't take Chemistry next semester because I haven't taken Intermediate Algebra yet, and I can't take Microbiology until I've Chemistry. In any case I'd have to apply to the actual nursing program NOW in order to get in for Fall '08, and I can't do that until I've had all of my sciences.damn, Damn, DAMN!!Do they not REALIZE I need to do this NOW?! I'm OLD for Christ's sake, I might die soon! I needed to start the nursing program in the fall of '08 in order to get my stinking 2 year degree in the STINKING TWO YEARS IT'S SUPPOSED TO TAKE!!!!I've taken 14 hours this semester, I already had Comp I & II. The required classes I need for next semester (that I can take) only add up to 10 hours. So now I have to pull 2 more hours out of my ass in order to meet the requirements for a full time student to keep financial aid. WHICH by the way, is all screwed up, so who knows if I'll be able to pay for this whole thin... More About: Sleeping
Totally Forgot the Damn Ghost Story . . .
2007-10-31 18:25:00 Hence the second post.OK-This is a true story, take from it what you will.My husband and I just moved to Arkansas to be closer to my terminally ill mother. One of the benefits to the move was getting away from "Sean". Mr. Honeybell and Sean had been very close at one time, however Sean's downward spiral into drug addiction and the resulting manipulation pretty much ended the friendship.One night while I was pregnant with Goofy Boy, Mr. Honeybell and I were watching TV in bed when the cable went out. Suddenly a figure moved past the window, and we knew the line had been cut. Mr. Honeybell immediately went to investigate, armed. He found his friend Sean in the yard with a large knife. Sean saw Mr. Honeybell and ran. We believe he thought he had cut the phone line. We don't know what his intentions after that were, but I doubt it involved offering to make us sandwiches. There was still some amount of harassment from Sean after that incident, and we were pleased that he didn... More About: Story , Ghost , Halloween , Damn
My Neighbor Recently Bought One Of These:
2007-10-31 17:43:00 Everytime I see it I wait for the clowns . . . More About: Recently
I Obviously Have Too Much Time On My Hands
2007-10-29 18:34:00 This is me, fulfilling the Fabulous Mrs. Fussypants plea for attention, with my own gratuitous greed and plea for jewelry. This lady is bursting with jewelry making talent, which causes Honeybell to gasp, shiver, and exclaim with breathless delight: ?Oh! Shiny!? I?ve already been the lucky recipient of these consolation earrings: (They are RED! GO KC CHIEFS!!) However Mrs. Fussypants is launching a new contest?and I WANT THIS NECKLACE. How gorgeous is this? The only requirement for participation is to give Mrs. Fussypants a little lovin. However, I?m thinking Fussy needs to raise the bar a little. I?m sure I need that beautiful piece more than any other blogger, and would demonstrate my burning need for the ability to wear a photo on jewelry a la reality TV style. For instance . . . Honeybell would cheerfully brave the wild: Honeybell would happily co-habit with strangers:Honeybell would cheer on some Ultimate Fighter hunks: Honeybell w... More About: Time , Hands
WHAT?! So I like to sleep!
2007-10-26 20:49:00 Slacker Mom has tagged me!4 Jobs I have had:-Receptionist for a Photographer when I was 16. Got fired after a month or two. Never let me answer your phones, apparently I suck at it.-Nursing Assistant at a convent. Generally speaking, old nuns are not nice people.-LPN on Acute Care unit. Small hospital, great job-LPN in Labor/Delivery/Nursery unit. Small hospital, great job--when there are patients and I'm not sitting at home on call for $1 an hour.4 Movies I love to watch over and over:-Four Weddings and A Funeral-The Princess Bride-Dogma-Braveheart4 Places I have lived:-Missouri-Kansas-Arkansas-Kansas4 TV shows I enjoy watching:-Lost-Pushing Daisies-Californication-CSI-Vegas4 Places I have been:-Delray Beach, Florida-Villa Rica, Georgia-Osaka City, Japan-Mexico City, Mexico4 Websites I visit daily:-Jorge Garcia's Blog (Hurley from Lost)-ABC Lost message board (Never have time to post anymore though, just a quick lurk)-Twitter-Cre8Buzz4 Favorite Foods:-Taco John's Super Burr... More About: Sleep
Baby Talk
2007-10-25 18:35:00 I cannot remember if I have told the story of Honeybell or not. I'm too lazy to look, so here we go. Phone Boy and Sporty Boy, being my step sons, have always called me by my first name. As Goofy was learning to talk, he began calling me by my given name as well. I wasn't terribly keen on this idea, and would repeatedly say "No, I'm Mommy!". Soon he quit calling me by my name, however then he just didn't refer to me at all. I feared I would thereafter be lovingly referred to as "Hey You".There was a week period in which Goofy was terribly sick. He is a child who does nothing but sleep when he is sick, and nothing would do but me lying next to him, his chubby little 2 year old hand wound through my hair. One evening Mr. Honeybell was working, and I needed to extricate myself in order to cook supper for the other boys. I was in the kitchen whipping up some mac 'n cheese with tuna and peas (I know, sounds gross, but you must try this) when Goofy Boy emerges from his room ... More About: Baby , Talk , Baby Talk
True Story Time With Honeybell
More articles from this author:2007-10-24 20:17:00 Enough time has passed that I can now tell this story with names changed to protect the guilty.There will be visual aids.Some time ago, I went in to work on my OB unit. There was a delivery imminent, and no time for report. I walked into the room only to find, in all of his glory . . . my ex boyfriend. Otherwise known as "Stalker Steve".There he stood next to his new wife. I looked at him.He looked at me.We both looked at his wife pushing in the stirrups.Neither of us saying a word. Now the last time I saw Stalker Steve, he had shown up at my house at 3 am drunk, and refused to leave.I ranted, I raved, nothing would get him out of there. Finally I packed up my purse and my dog and left. Yes, I said it, I left my own house. (That's called too stupid to call the police.) He was gone when I returned about a half hour later, never to be seen again. Or so I thought. Shortly after that episode my house was violated a couple of times. I'd come home to find my food eaten, my T... More About: Story , Time , True Story , True 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
|
 |
|
 |
