Another Day - Another Destiny

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Solve One Thing - Get Five New Ones!
2008-01-08 21:09:00
The title pretty much describes my current situation! I'm very happy to be home, in my regular life and all that it means, but fact of the matter is: everything's a great big mess!!! And when I try to sort one thing out, I instantly get five or ten new ones!!Almost everything right now is centered around Uni, as I have two courses I shall finish and two more (I think?) I shall start, and nobody knows anything about anything! I have set a date for a disucssion with one teacher, for next Tuesday, so I'm trying not to think too much about that, or what implications that meeting will have, until Monday night, but there are still a lot of other uncertainties - along with an enormous amount of work to be done if I'm going to have a least a fighting chance to pass these courses.I had hoped that one thing would have been cleared up today, but unfortunately it was put off until Monday! *sigh* I missed a discussion of a paper we wrote before Christmas, and I was led to believe we would di...
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A Messy Start!
2008-01-07 21:41:00
Today ended up being quite a mess! I had a number of errands to do, and I had figured out pretty much how I was going to get everything done. Naturally, nothing ended up according to my plan, so it feels like I've been going across town 20 times today - well almost anyway!I think I finally got everything done, although it probably took a lot longer than it should have! But I have managed to make several bank errands, check out a number of books from the library, buy one book, meet Sara at the Department - I have sooo missed my friends during the holidays!! - fix dinner and finish one of the books for one of the courses I'm taking now ... *phew* As usual I should have done more, but right now I'm completely exhaused, so I'm gonna have to make it an early morning tomorrow instead!Unfortunately all this running around in stormy freezing weather, with some icy rain/snow falling, has probably caused my cold to come back, because I'm actually feeling feverish tonight! *sigh* I so tot...
More About: Start , Mess

Not The Fresh Start I Was Hoping For!
2008-01-06 21:04:00
I had hoped to get a really good day today, in order to get a "fresh start 2008", but unfortunately, it didn't quite turn out that way!I have been very tired all day, I don't really know why, but I'm guessing it comes from finally being back home where things are normal ... I didn't get much sleep during the holidays (if one of the girls slept, the other usually screamed - well, almost anyway!) and I was almost contantly tense and had problems relaxing, so I think all that is catching up with me!But no matter how tired I am, everything will jump-start on me tomorrow morning, so I really wished I could have had a better day today!I have started studying, but haven't gotten that much done, and I have been in a bad mood all day - very annoying!I really do want to change things now, so I truly hope this was only a temporary set-back! I normally have a hard time adapting to a busy schedule, but right now I actually think I'll feel better once things have really started, and I know ...
More About: Start , Fresh

Back To Normal ... I Think?
2008-01-05 21:09:00
I think my life is pretty much back to normal now, I have completed all my blog entries, sorted through all the digital photos on my computer, unpacked everything and put it away, and generally, things feel like they usually do!So now I have to prepare myself for some "busy-time", becuase according to me, it doesn't look like I'll be able to relax much at all before June ... *yikes*! Seriously though, it probably won't be that bad, but it will be tough to get through everything now. I am very motivated to get started on pretty much everything now though, which feels great, and I'm hoping I'll be able to cope better now than I have before!I know I had a few weeks in mid-November where things were feeling pretty good, I was efficiant and got things done and I felt pretty content with myself, so my aim is of course to reach that state of mind again as soon as possible! Studies is what my life will be about now, that and not much more actually! It will be difficult to sort things o...
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2007 - 2008
2008-01-05 16:27:00
Well, I guess it's time to look back at the year 2007 and look forward to 2008 now.2007 wasn't exactly one of my better years, although I feel in retrospect I've learned quite a lot. Despite the fact that a lot of things "went wrong" or made my life complicated, I think I have now realized what went wrong and why, which makes me hope I won't put myself into those kind of situations again!During the spring, it was mostly anxiety that held me back and made things difficult for me. I don't have the time or the energy right now to evolve on that, but I think I do know why I felt so terrible, why I let the anxiety control me the way I did, and I have high hopes I won't allow that to happen again.Summer was okay, but a bit too intense, as I ended up spending a bit too much time in the summerhouse and with my families! I have nothing against them at all, but I am in the middle of creating my own life right now, without being dependant on anyone, and spending too much time living with...

The Wedding Singer!
2008-01-05 14:43:00
At New Year's Eve, I saw The Wedding Singer with my Mum, and it was a great experience on very many levels!!This was originally a movie, as some of you may know, and was later adapted for the stage on Broadway in America. This production by Värmlandsoperan is the first in Europe, so that was very special of course. But the best part was that they hadn't made it "simple" and just translated the american music into Swedish, they had in fact transformed it so that it applied to Sweden! The setting, the characters, the comments, the language, everything was typically Swedish, instead of being some kind of "americanized Swedish", which is quite common these days. The musical has a clear setting in the 1980's, and since I grew up during the 1980s and the 1990s this felt very special to me - and it was made even better by the fact that it didn't mirror the 80's in America, but in fact the 80's here in Sweden! I was thrilled to once again see Christer Nerfont perform, he is quickly b...

Busy Busy!
2008-01-04 22:10:00
I have tried my best at "catching up" today, but as usual, things take more time than I think! I do think I have been fairly efficiant today, so I can't complain about that, but I still feel like I'm very far behind!I have written a few blog entries (see below), gotten my new camera to work on my computer (this whole big deal with installing programmes and whatnot), I have "redone" my bed, as I did not only get a BEAUTIFUL bed-cover (mentioned below), I also got a new mattress, a new pillow and a new blanket.I have also taken down all the Christmas decorations (happy to get rid of them actually!), removed my answering machine - which did nothing but annoy me to death - I have unpacked all my stuff from the trip ... oh yeah, I've been labelling almost 300 blog entries!!! *yawn*This is all practical stuff, but I know I'm going to have to deal with a lot of emotional stuff soon too, that have been pushed aside during the holidays!Not to mention studies!! I'm in sooooo much trouble...
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Two Wonderful Birthday Presents!!
2008-01-04 19:16:00
Since I won't be going back to my families for my 30th birthday this year, we sort of celebrated during Christmas holidays. Since it turned out this way, most of my gifts feel like some kind of "birthday-Christmas-combination", except mainly two of them - and these two will get their own post here in the blog! :)First and foremost, I had early on told my parents that I wanted a digital systematic camera for my birthday. I don't know much about photography, but I really want to learn and I think it's wonderful to try to compose pictures. I have only had a small automatic camera before, and while it certainly took great pictures, there were no challenge there - all I could do was point the camera and push the button! I did get money from both my parents and on the annual sale right after Christmas I bought a wondeful NikonD40x that I'm completely thrilled about!!!! It was a really good price and I also got a proper bag for it a few days later!! So far I haven't had time to check ...
More About: Presents , Birthday , Wonderful , Resent

Zorro: So Impressive!
2008-01-04 14:12:00
I also have to dedicate one of my pick-up posts to Zorro, because he has been absolutely fantastic during these two weeks!!He is getting old, and I know he cannot adapt as easily to new situations now as he used to, he finds it more difficult to come to terms with new routines etc. so I was a bit worried about how he would cope. Especially since we'd be living with my Dad and his family this time, previously Zorro and I have lived in the summerhouse and only stayed for a day or two with my Dad.But things have worked out well above expectations!! I can see that Zorro might not have been quite so at ease as he has led the others to believe, I know him so well that I see signs that others don't, but overall, things have worked out very well!Zorro completely accepted my little sisters, both M and I, fully and wasn't bothered by their screaming and shouting and running and jumping and playing much at all. Of course we had to be careful with I, so she wouldn't accidently hit him or pu...
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My Adorable Sisters!
2008-01-04 12:03:00
This post is dedicated to my two adorable little sisters, M who is 3½ and I who will turn 1 in a few days!!It was absolutely fantastic to see them again this Christmas. I didn't have the oportunity to visit them during the fall, so I hadn't seen them since this summer, and particularly I had grown a lot!! M is really a "big girl" now, and coping sooo well! Her speach is almost spotless, she only has problems with the letter 'R' which she usually replaces with 'L', but apart from that, she's great and her vocabulary is really impressive!! It's clear she's enjoying not only speaking but reading, and she's actually learned the entire alphabet, all 28 (in the Swedish alphabet) letters!! She knows them by heart, and in the correct order if she concentrates. Her parents made her a "memory-game" but put letters instead of pictures and she played it constantly ... and she wins over most of us!! Very impressive!!I was also happy to see that some of the tension between the sisters ...
More About: Sisters , Adorable

Summarizing The Holidays!
2008-01-04 11:10:00
I thought I'd start my blog-comeback with a summary of the two weeks I've been gone, and later on I'll add more specific posts!I realize this sounds terrible but to start the summary, I'm afraid I have to say:This has officially been the worst Christmas ever!!I usually don't like holidays at all, and especially not Christmas, because expectations are set way to high, and all you do is try to meet some of them and satisfying everyone and everything, and you always tend to end up disappointed!And this Christmas has just been really tough for me, for a number of different reasons! I'm not sure if I'll make any kind of sense here, because these few weeks have been very confusing to say the least!Naturally I have enjoyed my trip, meeting with my families is always great since I don't see them too often!! But despite that things haven't been great ... I'm in a very "expansive" phase of my life right now, where I'm really learning to stand on my own two feet and creating my own ...
More About: Holidays , The Holidays

Home Sweet Home!
2008-01-03 19:13:00
I'm finally back home now, after a very long and really intense day! Well, I have been home for about three hours, but I'm still totally tired.Overall summary: Naaah, don't think I can give you that! *lol* These last few weeks have been very up-and-down, with mixed emotions and lots of thoughts! I have a number of blog entries planned here, as I feel I need to go through a lot now, but unfortunately I don't think I'll be doing them tonight! I had hoped to get a few of them done tonight, but I'm way to tired to make any kind of sense, and for a few of them I need pictures I don't even have yet! :) So I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until tomorrow to hear all about my trip, my sisters, a musical review, my thoughts on 2007 and on 2008 ... ooooh, and about my two WONDERFUL "pre-birthday"-presents! *lol*I hope you are well, and I promise to get going with blogging properly tomorrow!(I think I might try to start getting some labelling done though, as I need to go through...
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Happy New Year 2008!!
2008-01-01 10:22:00
I'm sorry for the lack of blog entries lately, but I honestly don't have computer or internet access more than once or twice when I'm visiting my families, and the few minutes I get online are usually spent on catching up on emails.I do however want to wish all of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008 , I hope you all will have a really great year, and for me personally, I will fight like crazy to make 2008 a better year than 2007.I'm planning to go back home in a few days, so I hope I can make a few entries than about the holidays, about my sisters, about a musical I saw yesterday, about my thoughts on the past and the new year etc.My poll on labels on this blog is over now, and I saw that I will also have to get started on labeling my old posts as well as the new ones in the future! :) Thanks to all of you who voted!Take care, I'll be back soon!!/Jessica
More About: New Year , Happy , Happy New Year , Year

Best Wishes From Jessica & Zorro !!
2007-12-21 06:45:00
I hope you will all have a lovely Christmas holiday!I will be back in the beginning of January with new entries!/Jessica
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Frantic Preparations!
2007-12-20 22:05:00
Today has been entirely focused on preparing for my trip to my families tomorrow!! Since I'm so completely exhausted I feel like I've forgotten a million things, but I try to write lists like crazy ... so hopefully it'll work out in the end.So ... what did I to today? Cleaned, pretty much the entire aparment ... packed most of the stuff (although I'll pack the car tomorrow morning, so as not to upset Zorro too much) ...And I had to take a trip to Lund too, but I was totally efficiant ... don't know if I've ever been that efficient before actually! *lol* I took the train at 1.20 and arrived in Lund about 1.40. I walked up to the general University Library to return a book, then walked 'my' Department where I had to return another book to the library there, walked to a toy store and got two last-minute-gifts for my youngest sister, and managed to take the 2.22-train back! Not bad, huh?! :)I hope I can make one last Happy Holidays-post tomorrow, but right now I need to start wi...
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Trying, Trying, Trying!
2007-12-19 21:04:00
I have really applied myself today, trying ever so hard to at least salvage whatever I can and prepare as much as possible for my holiday trip.Guess I should have known the outcome, huh? If I feel as bad as I do now, it doesn't matter how hard I try, everything turns out completely wrong no matter what I do ... so there you have my day!I should have studied, cleaned, done some packing, done laundry, filled the car with gas ... etc etc etc ... I actually have done some of it, but it took 4 times as long as it should since everything that possible could go wrong, did go wrong! *deep sigh* Even tried getting into the Christmas spirit (see my mini-Christmas trees?!!), playing Christmas music etc, but that only resulted in me realizing that at this point, this feels like the worst Christmas ever! I know it probably won't be that bad when I'm where I'm supposed to be and things start happening! I can usually cope better then, it's worse just not knowing what will happen and how it w...

Rather Terrible Ending!
2007-12-18 22:44:00
Yes, it seems that the ending of this fall turns out to be rather terrible! I suffered a near complete break-down regarding everything in my life the other day, and that wasn't exactly my plan! I'm starting to be able to think rationally now, but it will take some time to recover from this. It also, of course, has consequences! I have tried to deal with at least some of them, but I suspect others will haunt me later on.I know there's nothing I can do about it now, things happened the way they did and all I can do is try to work things out as best I can. But that sure isn't easy. Time is a factor, since holidays are coming up, and I know the holidays will be very intense and tough, and when I get back down here, I will have to try to sort out this mess. So right now I'm not that happy with things, generally speaking.I'm really not feeling up to blogging at all, but I thought I'd at least give you a reason to why my blog entries are so few and short right now ....--------------...
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Very Sad For Some Reason!
2007-12-16 23:00:00
I'm glad I managed to get my positive blog entry done this morning, because unfortunately my mood has turned around during the day! I finished one project, which was good of course, but seeing as how I really should have finished like, five or something, I don't feel to happy about myself anyway ...For some reason I have felt really, really sad most of the day. Don't really know where it comes from either, but I guess I could be so tired I just get totally emotional about everything. And let's just face it, the emotion that comes most easy to me, is sadness.I have some tough days coming up now, in order to get everything working before heading north for the holidays! I already know I won't feel content about leaving this year, because I will undoubtedly leave a lot of unfinished business down here, for me to deal with when I get back, and that never feels good, but I still have to try to get as much as possible done and fixed (and some things I really HAVE to do!) ...The plan i...
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Stress Factor: Extremely High!
2007-12-07 20:32:00
I honestly don't remember the last time I was this stressed out, actually! I'm currently having a pretty bad headache, and the plan was to copy about 40 pages of handwritten lecture notes on to the computer tonight ... and I have to get up no later than 5 a.m. tomorrow, for the trip to Gothenburg - AND I have to pack everything, wrap some presents etc .... yay me! NOT!!I think the difference now from earlier times, is that I have SO much going on! I'm not really complaining, because a lot of it is fun stuff, but since it's SO much, and studies are extremely intense, the result is that I can never ever ever relax ....I'm sorry, I'm not usually feeling as negative as this, but I have been trying my very best to be superefficiant today, and it feels like I've gotten nothing done at all, so now it's PANIC!!!I should get started on those notes now ....At least I hope I'm in for a fun day in Gothenburg tomorrow!-------------------------------- -------My Life At The Moment!Currentl...
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My Apologies ...
2007-12-06 22:20:00
... for a short entry!I have spent the last three hours intensly studying, and I'm now completely exhausted, so I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense here ...What I did today?! I can hardly remember ... *general confusion*I was up early, got a few hours studying done before going down to Malmö to meet my mentor for the last time, at least before Christmas. We went for coffee and talked for a few nice hours, before it was time to go back home.I did some shopping and had also planned to check out this new store that opened today just by the railway station, but there was a line about 100 meters outside the store and there was no way I'd wait in line only to get in!! Guess I'll have to check it out some other time!I was really tired when I got home, so I didn't get started on my studies until after 4 p.m. *STRESS* but I've been at it with varying intensity since then ... and now I feel more dead than alive!* need * sleep * now *---------------------------------------M y Life At...
More About: Polo , Logi

An Intense Day!
2007-12-05 23:26:00
This has been a very long and very intense day - with it's regular ups and downs!I managed to get up early this morning for a change, as I felt a great need to write quite a lot in my diary this morning, in order to clear my mind and prepare myself for what lies ahead. I was at it at about 5.15 a.m. and spent the following 2½ hours writing like crazy!After that I managed to get about an hour studying before I had to get ready to get into town! The train was late, and quite a bit late, and I'm seriously loosing patience with "Skånetrafiken" (the 'company' that deals with public transport here), because it is actually rare to find the trains are on time these day - very annoying! I ended up getting into town about half an hour later than I intended, so I wasn't in a good mood to start with!I was supposed to shop for a gift for my mentor, as I'll be meeting her for the last time (at least in her capacity as a mentor, I do hope to be able to see her sometimes anyway!) tomorrow, ...

Back To Studies!
2007-12-04 21:07:00
This morning was not really great, I had my mind set on "getting back on track", after yesterday's all-emotional-day, so I got up early, wrote a lot in my diary to clear my mind and was set on getting all my errands done as soon as the stores opened at ten! Yeah right!!Everything that could possibly go wrong, did indeed go wrong, so it ended up taking way tooo long! I only had about 3 or 4 different things to do, but it ended up taking over 2 hours *sigh*When I got home I found out that even more stuff at Uni are getting complicated!Not only am I coping with two very demanding full time courses at the moment, I'm having major problems with the courses I'm going to take next semester, so I have a scheduled meeting with the student councellor tomorrow afternoon - although my councellor actually quit in September, so I'm going to a new one, which means it will take a lot of time just running through the background. On top of all that, I now found out that there's a "problem" with ...
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Emotional Day!
2007-12-03 22:02:00
Today has been a really emotional day for me, and I don't really like that! I sometimes tend to get very emotional, when my feelings take control of me, they do it completely, and it is almost a bit frightening to be so completely out of control and at the mercy of your emotions!I know I'm in big trouble concering most things at the moment, the biggest things being Uni and upcoming Christmas holidays, but today has been spent almost in a vaccuum, I get completely wrapped up in my emotions and I can't connect to the reality of my life, the "real world" in any way! It's getting late now, I had hoped for a really early night, but I'm going straight to bed after this, because hopefully I can get up really early tomorrow and start working my way back into the "real world"! I know I don't have all the time in the world either, some things have deadlines (especially with regards to Uni) and there really are sooooo much stuff going on in my life right now!!! I'm hoping I will be able...
More About: Emotional

Julkonsert med Johnny Logan! [swedish]
2007-12-02 20:46:00
(Sorry you guys who don't read Swedish , but there's no way I'd be able to review this Christmas Concert in English ... so this will be a Swedish blog entry. Hope you understand! Thanks!)Dags igen för den årliga Julkonserten med Tonica-orkestern, under ledning av Peter Sjunnesson, som i år gästades av Carolina Jönsson, systrarna Jenny och Emma Freij samt ingen mindre än Johnny Logan !!!Mycket trevligt!I traditionsenlig anda började konserten med Tomtarnas julparad, till vilken hela orkestern bar tomteluvor! Mycket jul-igt!Därefter sjöng de tre tjejerna Julen är här, vilket är en av mina personliga favoriter, och sedan avlöste jullåtarna varandra i rasande hastighet. Det blev t ex ett julmedley med Alice Tegnér-sånger, där publiken inbjöds till allsång i Pepparkaksgubbarna, men också lite allvarligare tongågar som First of May och Decembernatt.Därefter dags för solisten: Johnny Logan!! En helt fantastisk röst, och mycket populär hos publiken - man såg t o m...

Christmas Decorations!
2007-12-01 19:05:00
Before starting my "real" entry tonight, I'd like to show you a picture that is somewhat special! It's from the dinner with Sara and Johanna ... and my camera actually took this photo after it said "batteries depleted - camera is shutting down". Kinda cool!!I was getting ready to take the photo, the flash was charging, the camera said that it was shutting down and then the flash went off - and I only discovered today that it actually took the picture! So enjoy!! *lol*Today has been spent cleaning the apartment and putting up the Christmas decorations! I feel like I've been pretty efficient today, which is great, although I feel a bit bad about only having studied for about an hour. Planning on getting a few hours more done tonight though!I always think it's a bit too complicated for my taste, getting the electrical stuff working - but I think I ended up doing it "right" this year, it wasn't that hard to get it working. But I now have five (!) different timers for different ligh...
More About: Decorations

Completely Out Of It!
2007-11-30 23:13:00
Another boring entry, I fear! I'm so tired I feel completely out of it right now - so I'm not sure how I'm going to make sense of this entry!I've been suffering fairly severe stomach cramps all day, so I've been on kind of a lot of pain killers (I think I should be greatful that nobody around me is a doctor or something like that ... think I'd be in pretty big trouble then ...). Also, I do not have the time to stay in bed, so despite all the pills, I've been studying a bit.I find it very difficult with my studies now though, because there is SO much to do (translating about 20 pages of Hebrew text, copying notes, preparing a paper and a seminar and reading ... *counting in my head* seven different books, 2 in Swedish, the rest in English - and no matter what I do, I feel bad because I know I have so much other stuff left to do!I have been focusing on my notes from lectures for a few days now, and I do think that is a good thing, I'm noticing day by day that I'm really lear...

Kinda Boring ...
2007-11-29 23:08:00
I haven't a clue what I'm going to write about today ... so I'm guessing this will be a very boring entry! I've been studying practically all day, even though I find it difficult to be really focused!! I'm currently catching up on my lecture-notes, which is taking forever!! I guess it's a good thing, because it means you have a lot of the work done, I tend to learn a lot from notes, but when you're in a very stressful situation and find you have about a trillion things to do as well, it's annoying when it takes about 2-2½ hours to get through one lecture! I also make a habit of first re-writing my notes by hand, checking up all the page-references and all the Biblewords given out at the lecture (not a chance you'd have time to do that during the lecture), and when I have done that, I type it all in on my computer! I've gone through a bit over 8 lectures now (we did #14 yesterday), and I'm noticing that I actually am lerning a lot, I remember things, can see 'cause-and-e...
More About: Kinda , Boring

Headache All Day!
2007-11-28 21:45:00
I woke up with a horrible headache at 4.30 this morning - NOT fun! I was supposed to meet my mentor, Rebecka, but had to cancel. We did have lectures at 1, and the teacher was going to start on a new book, which I haven't bought and haven't even had time to locate at the library, so I pretty much felt I had to be there.Let's just say it wasn't fun, that's for sure! Our teacher is good at lectures, he knows tons and he's pretty easy to follow, but he's very intese so you end up taking notes like an idiot!! Which really is a very good thing, since exams seem to more or less only focus on what he has said on the lectures - but it's very hard to be focused and concentrated and be able to follow him when it feels like a regiment of miners are working away inside your head ...I did survive lectures, but I haven't had the energy to do much since I got home.What was positive at Uni today was that we found out we will get an extra week before we have to turn in our paper and have th...
More About: Headache , All Day

Patience Is A Virtue
2007-11-27 19:13:00
Patience is a Virtue I do not possess!!That has certainly been proven today! I'm in a lousy mood, having spent most of today running around like crazy trying to get a lot of things done - but almost every single one of them turned out wrong!! I needed to get so much done today, and I've hardly done anything at all!!Since things are sooo stressful right now, I don't have time for things going wrong, or postponing things to some other time - I need to get them done according to plan.Yeah, well, "plan" just laughed in my face today!!And as a result, I feel terrible!! For once though, I don't feel sad and depressed, which is usually the way I tend to react. I rather feel very annoyed ... which isn't great either, I suppose!! I'm desperatly trying to stick to my thoughts from yesterday - that all I can do is my very best, and if that's not enough, I'm going to have to deal with those consequences when they occur!! But it's HARD!!!All I can do now is try not to let this get to me...
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Organizing Like Crazy!!
2007-11-26 21:49:00
I'm currently feeling very confused ... I seem to have so much stuff going on now, that I feel like I'm going to mess everything up! I write lists and lists and more lists to try to remember everything that I have to do, and when I have to them and how I'm going to prioritize ... it's still a bit early to tell if it'll succeed or not - but I'm certainly feeling confused enough, that's for sure!!Today I've been studying, attending lectures at Uni and trying to run a bunch of errands - naturally nothing really worked out, so I ended up doing some things that I hadn't planned for today, but instead didn't get some things done that I really should have done tonight! Oh, did I mention how confusing everything is?!?!?I do think I have found a pretty good way of dealing with the whole mess though! I'm not sure I can stick with it when Christmas is coming (me NOT like Christmas), or when exams and seminars and papers and other horrible stuff are more real - but for now it seems ...
More About: Crazy , Organ