Another Day - Another Destiny

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9000 visitors - Thank You!
2008-04-18 22:19:00
First and foremost, a great big Thank You to all my visitors! Can't believe we've reached 9000 visistors - amazing!! Anybody got any suggestions on how to celebrate when we get to 10,000?!?! *lol*I've had an okay day, though not really great! When I got to Uni this morning, the general desk was closed (!) due to illness, so I didn't get my exam back. I'll get it on Monday, but I'm still a bit annoyed, I really wanted to get it and see more details ... I hardly even remember the questions now. Still, nothing I can do about it.Hebrew/Old Testament lecture, we started on the Hymns today, very interesting! However, I'm not sure what I want to do with that particular course right now! I can't give 100%, I've realized that, because with two other courses, I just don't find the time or the energy. But since I've done so well this far, and I find it sooooo exciting - and the group and the teacher are awesome! - I don't want to give it up either! I'm trying a few different solut...
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All's Well That Ends Well!
2008-04-17 20:49:00
Okay, turns out this day ended really well, so I have to share that with you as well - seeing as how my last entry was so terrible!I just logged onto the University site and found out that the results from my last exam in New Testament had been reported: I had VG (the high grade - equals A or B in the European ECTS-system)!!!! Whooo-hooooo! *me very happy now*I have, after all, taken two full-time courses at the same time, I've written four exams and I've gotten VG on ALL four of them!! *a little proud* It's quite an amazing feeling - and I'm really really happy tonight!Still can't deny most of the day was rotten, but this certainly helps, that's for sure! I hope this can be a turn-around, so that I can feel a bit more motivated and a bit less tired, to take on the rest of my studies - especially since I have added yet another course now ... *yikes*I'm rather tired after this day, and I have a few things to take care of before I head off to bed, so I'll make this a short ent...
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Officially Declaring:
2008-04-17 16:32:00
This is a BAD day!!But first a word of warning! I feel a compelling urge to do nothing but whine right now, so if you don't feel you can cope with whining right now: don't read this entry!You have been warned!I overslept this morning, but still managed to somehow make a run for the late bus, and therefore the late train. I managed to remember some things for a friend of mine as well as my - rather large - camera, as I was meeting a friend and her little boy (about 3 months old) this afternoon and I definately want pictures! :) What I didn't remember was to fix anything to eat ... I don't usually have time to prepare lunch per se, but I had intended to bring fruits and stuff, as we had lectures 8-10 and I was meeting my friend at 2.I didn't have the energy to worry about lunch then, I just had my hands full to make to Uni. Once I got there, I discovered that a whole lot of stuff I'd brought would not be useful at all, meaning I had dragged about 2 kg too much ... and since my b...

Still Feels Tough!
2008-04-16 21:22:00
My studies are still going very slow, and the slower it gets, the more stressed out and frustrated I get. Not great, that's for sure!Hebrew/Old Testament lecture this morning, and I think it worked out ... though when I'm in this kind of mood, I tend to not know what I think about what's going on. One minute I'm thinking, 'This worked out, that's great, that's working', and the next minute it's, 'oh no, I shouldn't have done that or said that' and everything is just a great big mess in my head.I've made some decisions regarding that course - since I'm not really taking it, but now everything is really complicated and I'm starting to wonder about that decision ... and then a voice inside me keeps telling me I shouldn't even think about that course, since I'm actually not taking it for credit - and that I instead should start thinking about the courses I am taking for credit ...Yeah, okay, now I'm sounding like a rambling, raving lunatic ... guess I'd better be quit...
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Difficulty Concentrating!
2008-04-15 21:18:00
I seem to find it more and more difficult to fully concentrate and focus on my studies these days - which is very annoying because I have sooooo much to do! My mind seem to constantly wander, and I never get as much done as I hope ... which naturally leaves me with a very bad mood! I think I'm mostly annoyed because things really have fallen into place for me this semester and worked out in a way that I've never experienced before, and I really do want to finish this semester in the same way. But I won't be able to do that if I can't focus and get my studying done! *rather upset*I know it's been a very heavy semester, and that I've taken on more than I could ever imagine, but I still just can't find excuses all the time, because fact of the matter is, I need to do this!! I need to keep studying and I need to pass my courses because I need to get my credits. Period! I really really really hope I can turn this around, because if I continue the way I have for the past few days, ...
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Slightly Schizophrenic
2008-04-13 21:00:00
This weekend has certainly not been the greatest ... seems like I kind of hate weekends now, but everything works out really well during the week! *very weird*I have actually gotten started on my third course now - the reading course in Hebrew - and about time too!! However, I hadn't quite anticipated it to be so intense, it's more work than I thought and everything is taken forever to finish! Also, there are things I can't for the life of me figure out, which makes it all the more frustrating!But I am feeling almost dizzy now - trying to read and write a lot for Biblical Interpretation, translating Hebrew and reading litterature for the reading course, AND translating and taking lecture-notes for the regular Old Testament course! *shakes head*I've been trying to study as best I can - but I'm completely exhausted and seeing as I have so much to do these days and everything takes so long, it's hard not to feel like giving up! I don't think I will - things have worked out fanta...

Unusually Tired!
2008-04-10 20:46:00
I've felt unusually tired all day today, I think I have a cold lurking away somewhere, so I guess I'll have to blame it on that. It's rather frustrating though, because I certainly need all the energy I can get now, and only walking to the bus makes me breathless and feeling more dead than alive - not good!I know I have had an intense time now, since I didn't get the usual weekend! Even if I study a lot, I rest more being at home 2-3 days over the weekend, than going to my families (1000 kilometres there and back) and having some play-time there - so I guess that's contributing as well. Still, I need the time to study effectively and not sleeping ...I had Old Testament/Hebrew this morning, which turned out to be really exciting. At first there was information and talks about a paper that is a part of the course. Since I'm not taking the course in the usual way, I will not do it (I have enough on my plate as it is), but it was still good and interesting to hear how you're supp...
More About: Tired

Mad At Myself!
2008-04-09 19:56:00
I'm trying to get over an angry attack on myself that I had earlier today ... at least I'm coping with being around myself now, I guess that's a step in the right direction, right?! :)Hebrew lecture 8-10 this morning, worked out quite well. Every minute going by I get reaffirmed this really is what I want to do, I am so interested and fascinated by absolutely everything - that's quite an amazing feeling actually!I went straight home afterwards, and then things went a bit out of control! I fixed and ate lunch, and caught up a bit online. I felt really tired, so I got some coffee and thought I'd feel a bit better. I sat down, Zorro came and before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep - and I slept for two hours!!!! Totally NOT a good idea! I know that really says I am way too tired, but I can't really take that into account, because I don't have the time!!! The day only has 24 hours and I have to use as many of them as possible .... So that got me really mad about myself!! After that ...

How To Catch Up?!
2008-04-08 19:27:00
Whoa, a lot has happened since my last entry, so I guess you'd better prepare for a rather long blog entry! :) I really should start last Thursday, it feels like it was ages ago, but I guess that's the place to start off (I have a strong feeling I will have bored every one reading this to death after this blog! *lol*)Anyway ... Thursday started with Hebrew lecture at 8, which was quite okay! I get a great deal out of these lectures now, even though I sometimes find it difficult to prepare everything for each day. At the same time I realize that if I'm going to gain anything at all from the lectures, I simply have to be prepared - so I have to try my best at that!I should have stayed at Uni afterwards, for a lecture in Biblical Interpretation at 1 - but I started getting a massive headache, and I knew the day would be a great strain on Zorro, so I quickly bought a book for class before heading on home. In retrospect I think I did the right thing, even though I don't like missing ...
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Emptiness and Lonliness!
2008-04-03 23:02:00
I've just come home from leaving Zorro with Sara - *sobbing*! I know he'll have a good time there, but I can't help but sense the emptiness and lonliness in my apartment, it's really terrible to be here without him!!I have had quite an eventful day today, but since it's already 11 p.m. and I have an early and long day tomorrow, I don't have time to go through it all here ... I have to start preparing and packing some, before trying to get some sleep. I'll leave directly from Uni tomorrow and won't be home until late Sunday evening - with Zorro! *yay*!Next week is also really heavy for me, but I hope I can at least take the time to summarize what is going on then!Take care, and have a great weekend!!
More About: Lonliness

Not The Best Start!
2008-04-02 20:52:00
Well, this week hasn't exactly started in the greatest possible way! I don't really have time to go through it all in detail, but it's been rather confusing! Some things have been really great, others not good at all ...We had the introduction to the new Biblical Interpretaion-course on Monday, and while I think it will be a very exciting and interesting course, it certainly won't be an easy one! Very few lectures, but FIVE major projects to hand in - and all in about 7 weeks!! *YIKES* If I can spend some time on this course, and if the group will prove to be a good one (it seemed that way, I think), I think I'm gonna learn heaps from this course ... but fact of the matter is I am going to try to juggle two other courses at the same time ...And on top of that, I've hardly gotten any studying done at all this week, and it's already Wednesday!!!! I had very few headaches during the beginning of the semester, and it seems they are catching up now, because I seem to be having the...
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Not Really A Great Day!
2008-03-30 21:42:00
I guess I'm surprised to be in a fairly good mood after all, because this day has indeed not been a great one!Started out early too, I slept poorly, and Zorro couldn't relax at all!! I stumbled up feeling half-dead, only to realize that we had to put the clocks forward an hour today, so it was even later than I thought!!I managed to pull myself together and get some studying done during the morning. Around lunch-time I came to realize something not-not-not funny at all!I had been making plans with Annika to join her and a friend of hers (I know her from online though) to go to Gothenburg in May and see a Tour of Sweeny Tood!! I haven't seen a musical in ages, and I was thrilled to find out that both Michael McCarthy and David Shannon would be in it!! I've seen David Shannon in the Internation Tour of Chess in Oslo and he totally impressed me - and Michael McCarthy is my favourite musical performer after Philip Quast - so I was really excited to get to see them both!!Only until I...
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Back In Business!
2008-03-29 21:39:00
I had a rather slack day yesterday, but have pretty much gotten back in business today.Yesterday I went into town to meet with my Hebrew professor, only to find he wasn't there! I was only supposed to pick up an exam, and he'd left it in his mail inbox, so I could pick it up there. I also got the group-exam-paper back, which was nice. I knew I'd passed, and I had only gotten one minor comment, but everything that I can put behind me feels good right now, as so much is going on!Apart from that, I didn't get much done, however! It felt kind of annoying, since I know I have lots and lots to do, but I guess you could afford at least one day off every now and again, right?! :)Today I've gotten started on cleaning my apartment, I hope I'll finish it tomorrow, so it'll be set for next week. I've also started preparing Hebrew Bible-verses for next course which starts on Monday! So far I've finished everything for Monday and Tuesday, but I know upcoming week will be heavy - and next...
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At Long Last!
2008-03-27 21:31:00
I'm so sorry for my lack of entries here, but what can I say? It's a crazy, crazy, crazy world out there!!Things have mostly been focused on my New Testament exam, which took place today! Unfortunately I was behind on two other projects for that course, which took up most of my Easter weekend, so I had pretty much two days (not even whole days!) to finish all 55 questions for the exam - and some of them were huge!!!Needless to say, yesterday I walked between the kitchen table - where I looked up the answers and wrote them down - and the computer - where I typed them. I kept going, more or less living on coffee and caffein-pills, and I finished at 3.15 a.m. this morning! *YAWN*!I slept until about 7.30, then printed all the questions, and could afford to take things easy a little bit this morning, while trying to review the questions.I left at about 11.30, which was very early (the exam was at 2), but I figured I could study at Uni too. Lucky for me, I went early! First there was ...
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Going Crazy!!
2008-03-23 21:41:00
It feels like I'm seriously starting to loose my mind right now!I do absolutely nothing except study right now (and occasionally I eat), and I get absolutely nothing done!! It's really starting to get to me now, because I have a ton of work to get through before the exam (on Thursday), and since I am at it, studying all the time, I don't understand why I can't get anything done!I still have to write a huge paper, of a book that is so abstract it takes forever just to figure out what's he's trying to say (and I'm not doing a very good job of that, either) - and then you're supposed to give your own thoughts and reflection of what the authors says.On top of that, there are two books for the written exam, and we got out some questions to help us study ... and I feel compelled to do them all, after all, it would be pretty stupid to ignore that much actual help, right? The only problem is, there are 55 massive questions, and I haven't even started yet! Way to go, Jessica!!! *sig...
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Feeling Very Nervous!
2008-03-21 21:14:00
My study-situation is totally NOT good right now ... and I'm getting seriously nervous about the exam! I know it's a while yet, but I have so much to do, and it's taking forever!! For once I don't feel completely guilty though, because I've never in my life studied as hard as I have this semester, but naturally you do feel guilty when you're falling behind and not getting everything done in time ... *very confusing*I have kept at it almost the entire day today, but like I said, it's taking SO long! Currently I'm writing a paper on one book (I was worried on how to get enough pages, he wanted about 8, but now I realize I'll probably end up getting double that, and have to cut back instead!) and a paper on a seminar I missed. After that I have to read two books (one short, in Enligsh - about 150 pages - and one big book in Swedish, about 500 pages), and answer 55 questions on those book (preparation for the exam), and learn the answers ... and I should also prepare about 15 s...
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Slack But Still Tired!
2008-03-19 20:42:00
I'm really tired tonight, and not getting much done, but my day hasn't been that intense at all. I have kept "doing" things, but none of it difficult or intense in that way ... so I really shouldn't be as tired as I am ...New Testament lecture at 10 ... it said we were supposed to go through moments we missed on the course, be able to ask questions etc. but it turned out to be nothing more than a major evaluation (for two hours!!) ... I think it's really good to have these kinds of follow-ups, the teacher from the Old Testament course came as well, to sum things up, and that's good, but it felt strange to use an entire lecture for it! Good in the sense that you didn't have to be focused or concentrated, but still, it felt like the time could have been better spent if we had actually done something ...At 12 I met Sara for lunch, yay!!!!! I have really missed her, and it was GREAT catching up! We'll be taking the next course together (Biblical interpretation) and I'm really lo...
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A Slight Turn-around?!
2008-03-18 21:47:00
I have had a better day today - it's been long and tiresome, but I have felt better than I have for the past week or so, and I'm greatful for that!Hebrew first this morning, I hadn't prepared anything, but since I'm always at Uni early, I at least managed to rush through about nine sentences before it started getting busy. Luckily, I didn't have to read anything though!I find it frustrating that I'm getting more and more nervous about this whole reading-thing, but I guess all I can do is hang in there, and not start avoiding it - because I know for certain how disastrous that can be! Also, it will be a bit different when we start the next Hebrew course, which focuses more on interpretation than pure language-skills, so I guess my anxieties should ease up a bit then!After Hebrew I stayed at the Department studying, so I did all the sentences for Thursday's Hebrew class, and also managed to review the book we were having a group exam on.Said exam started at 1.15, and I wasn't...
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Tiresome Start!
2008-03-17 21:26:00
I'm completely exhausted right now, so I can't help but be a bit nervous about how the rest of the week will turn out.I was supposed to get a lot of studying done this morning, but it started snowing a lot and I was a bit worried about the trains not leaving in time. I kept checking and aparently they did have a complete loss of power a bit north of where I live, so all trains were standing. They managed to get the schedule back to normal from my trainstation pretty soon though, so at least I managed to get into town, even though the weather was really terrible!New Testament lecture first, I was pretty tired but it was an okay lecture - delt with the theology of John!After that Hebrew, and by then I was really tired! I also have noticed that I'm getting more and more nervous and anxious about Hebrew, and that upsets me a bit! I've been coping so well with it before, and it bugs me that I keep getting rather high anxiety levels about reading and translating. It hasn't gotten too...
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The Weekend From Hell!
2008-03-16 22:10:00
Yeah, actually I've had a really horrible weekend - so now I'm mostly trying to hope all you guys had better weekends, and also not having a complete breakdown over next week!I have soooo much that has to be done right now, and I've ended up not doing much of anything. I can't say that I've just ignored it either, because I have tried, but everything ended up being a total mess. The books I was supposed to read were completely weird, I'm realizing more and more for every minute passing by, that when it comes to the Bible, I definately should focus on the Old Testament - I don't have much interested for feel that tingling fascination over the New Testament that I do for the Old Testament! I know I have to get through this course, but let's just say, I'll be glad when it's over, that's for sure.This horrible weekend, will of course effect me during the upcoming weeks as well - I'm hoping I will be able to cope with the oral-and-written group exam (on Tuesday) and the writt...
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Rough Day - Indeed!
2008-03-13 22:59:00
Yes, today was rather hard to get through ... but I did it, and I don't think I made a complete mess of myself, so I guess that's a good thing, right?!Hebrew first ... went okay, pretty good. I actually had found one verb-form that most other students had had trouble getting the hang of it, so that boosted my self-esteem a little! I meant to talk to our teacher during the break about some questions about my New Testament/Paul seminar, but I was really nervous about it! I have a very had time doing stuff like that, somewhere deep inside me I have this feeling that whatever I say is stupid, and I'm annoying and ... God knows what! I really wanted to do it though, because I do realize these feelings are wrong (even though I can't seem to get rid of them), but our teacher managed to disappear completely! I more or less "followed him around" (almost anyway!), and I finally caught up with him. At the time, it felt very rough, I felt stupid and stupid and stupid and ... well, you get t...

Intense Studying!
2008-03-12 21:32:00
Today has been spent studying, studying and oh yeah - studying! *sigh*I think I have prepared for the seminar tomorrow ... at least I've been writing 19 pages by hand, so that should constitute some preparation at least! I'm still very worried though, I really don't like seminars, and this one will be the first I'm attending, so that makes it rather a big deal! I do hope I can go through with it, and I think I will - but that doesn't stop me from feeling quite anxious!!I did bump into some really interesting connections with the Old Testament - Paul quotes it rather often - which made things a bit more easy to take! It did raise some questions though, so I'm hoping I can have a word with my Hebrew professor about it tomorrow, would be very interesting to find the answers to my questions, even though they may not be addressed at the seminar!This will be a short entry, but I have you a rather lengthy summary of what's currently going on earlier today, so I hope you'll forgive ...
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A Follow-Up!
2008-03-12 12:33:00
I realize my last entry wasn't that informative, since I was about to fall off the chair when I was writing it, so I thought I'd make some kind of follow-up to it now - when taking a break from studies.Yesterday wasn't a very good day, but I think I'll blame it on the fact that I was so tired. I don't think I would have felt so bad, had my mind been in a better shape. I'm hoping this won't effect me later on though, especially in Hebrew. I had higher anxiety levels than I have had before, and the fact that I got to read on top of that, made it a bit difficult to handle ... so I hope that won't effect me at lectures tomorrow, instead I hope I can see it as an isolated event!I think that since things have worked out so well for me this semester, that has given me an enormous adrenaline-boost, which I have lived on since the beginning of February ... and now, going on a months and a half, my adrenaline is more or less depleted - hence me being so tired all the time! I'm still ...

Feeling Ridiculous!
2008-03-11 18:42:00
I'm feeling pretty stupid, but I'm actually considering going to bed at 7 p.m.!! :) I'm so utterly exhausted, and I have tons of work to do, but just staying up worrying because I don't have the energy to do anything won't do me any good, so I'm hoping to go to bed now, and instead be able to head up at about 2.30 or 3 a.m. and start studying then!Today has been ... okay, I guess. I'm really really really tired all the time now, and that affects me in a not so positive way, actually! We had Hebrew first, and I felt my sentences were poorly prepared, and I had a higher anxiety level than I usually got ... I ended up having to read, a rather strange sentence and it just felt very awkward!! I don't think it really was that awkward, seen from an outside perspective, I got a few comments, but then again, everybody gets comments ... so I guess it was just a feeling!Afterwards me and Lena prepared the sentences for Thursday (no lectures tomorrow!!!!), and that worked out a bit bett...
More About: Ridiculous , Feeling

8000 Visitors - Amazing!
2008-03-10 21:49:00
I haven't quite kept up with my counter lately, and just the other day I happened to notice it was closing in on 8000 visitors - and now we've passed that!Thank you very much to all readers! :)I had a very demanding day today, with lectures in both Hebrew and New Testament, as well as some "challenges" to face up to, so I was quite nervous this morning. As a result of that, I've suffered a pretty bad head ache all day today, but despite that, everything has worked out really well!!! And I am SO greatful for that!I didn't leave home as early as I had planned, since it was a rather tough morning, so I wasn't at Uni until 8.45 this morning, but at least I managed to get some studying done!Hebrew lectures first, at 10, and I really didn't want to read today because I hadn't done very well on any sentence! And to my relief, I didn't have to!!! Guess I never made it to "five-times-in-a-row", right?! *lol*But I did managed to answer a question in class during the second half ... it...
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Moving On To Paul!
2008-03-09 22:12:00
Having spent most of yesterday reading through the New Testament, today I have focused on the epistles of Paul ! Actually not my favourite part of the Bible, or the New Testament, so I'm more and more realizing why I'm going to focus my further studies on the Old Testament!I feel so much more inspired and interested in the Hebrew studies, even just plain old language studies with a million different verb forms, than the New Testament, so at least I'm finding out I have made the right choice when it comes to future studies! :)The next week and a half will be sooooo demanding!! I really hope I can keep up with writing an entry here once a day, but I won't promise anything! Until next Wednesday I'm supposed to:Read one book and answer questions in regards to it (have read the first chapters and done questions today).Read another book and write an 8 page-long paper on it.Write another paper (won't know any details until tomorrow about that)Prepare for a seminar on ThursdayRead yet ...
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The New Testament - A Crash Course!
2008-03-08 21:45:00
Today has been all, all, all about studying ... and "Stargate SG-1" inbetween! *lol*I quickly realized that if I'm going to be able to study the litterature for the New Testament course properly, I really need to read through the New Testament first ... I started a while ago, but didn't get THAT far ... today I started with the Gospel of John and actually finished it, right through the Book of Revelations ... though my head was aching so bad afterwards ... a bit too much of sacrificial lambs and blood and scrolls and Holy Spirits ...Still, I'm really glad I got through it today, because that means I can start studying "more properly" tomorrow morning! I'm quickly realizing how very much I have to do now, so I hope I can stay efficient!This last week was quite intense for me, and I was always exhausted when I got home, so I didn't get much studying done at home ... meaning I now have A LOT of it!! Next week seems to be a bit slower though, I have double lectures (Hebrew and New ...
More About: Crash

A Good But Tired Day!
2008-03-07 20:53:00
Today has been really good, but I have been extremely tired!!It was a pain to get up at about 4.30 this morning, but at least I was studying Hebrew sentences at the Department at 7.45 (my train gets in rather early)!! Lecture as usual, and can you believe it: I was asked to read AGAIN!! I know it's more or less "circumstantial", not really, but close enough, but it still feels rather strange, fourth time in a row?!!? Still, like I said in my previous entry, I am greatful for it, so I guess I shouldn't say anything about it! I guess it's hard for me not to think back at last spring and what this would have done to me then ... I'd probably dropped the course entirely, I think!After lectures, some of us including our teacher went for coffee at a nearby Department! I had a vague idea about going to a mall afterwards, mostly to do "something" other then go from studies at home to studies at Uni and then back to studies at home, but I wasn't sure about times and hadn't quite made up...
More About: Good , Tired

Quick Recoveries!
2008-03-06 21:57:00
I think what I have mostly thought about today, is my ability to quickly recover from set-backs these days! I felt rather down yesterday night, and even though nothing of what went wrong then has been solved yet, I have still been able to go through with this day and make it work out really well ... which also means that what happened yesterday don't get quite so big, and it doesn't destroy the rest of my life ... which it usually did earlier!Hebrew lectures this morning, I was asked to read again!! It's the third time in a row now, but I'm actually really greatful for it, because even though it doesn't bother me anymore, I still have the feeling of the more I do it, the better prepared I will for future challenges, no matter what they are! I also got the "funny sentence" today, everybody - including me and our teacher! - laughed at it: (attempting to transcribe) mawaet basir, which roughly translates: "There's death in the pot!" *lol*Things worked out well at lectures, and to...
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Several Little Things!
2008-03-05 21:29:00
I really have had an okay day today, but several little things have not gone right, and enough little things going wrong has still made me in a bad mood tonight! I'm not really complaining, because the way I'm generally feeling now, and have been for almost the entire semester, is absolutly amazing, and I don't think I've felt this good - generally speaking - anytime ever!! But I still can't help but be a little annoyed about these things not quite working out today ...Sorry about the vagueness, but at least one of these things happened quite fast and a bit unexpected, so I haven't been able to process it properly myself yet - which is why I don't feel like writing about it here - and I'm hoping that once I have been able to work my way through it, it won't feel quite so bad and I will be able to handle it ...Short blog entry today, the only thing that has really happened today was that I met a friend and her 2½ months old son - he'd grown a lot in two months, and I had a...
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