Why Would I Sleep?Why Would I Sleep?Mom writes while kids tear the house apart and enjoys the challenge of maintaining correct spelling, grammar and sentence structure while also making dinner and answering questions such as, Mom, why can't I get a bra yet? Articles
Halloweenies
2007-11-01 13:15:00 Two pirates and a “crazy, mixed-up doll,” Abby’s original idea. And of course, dueling pirates! More About: Allo
Trick or Treat!
2007-10-31 13:11:00 Here’s hoping that all your treats are chocolate, and all your bats are big ones. Designed and carved by (clockwise from top left:) Sam, Hannah, Abby, Me MY FINAL AND ONLY BASEBALL CELEBRATION UPDATE: Love the Red Sox or hate ‘em, we could all take a lesson in “dancing like nobody’s watching” (even though a bazillion people were) from pitcher Jonathan Papelbon, described this morning on Sports Radio as “just the right combination of insane and intense.” Plus, ya gotta love the Dropkick Murphys cruising through the streets of Boston on a flatbed truck. More About: Trick , Treat
Crap, No Chance My Baggie’s Clearing Security Now
2007-10-30 21:29:00 Random declaration of the day: Sam: Mom, know what I wanna be when I grow up? Me: Nope. What? Sam: A Western Terrorist. Me: Um. A what? Sam: You know, one of those guys who ties females to railroad tracks. Me: Of course. I discovered this poor little elephant today, cruelly taped to a skateboard. But first, I ran him her over with my van. More About: Security , Chance , Crap , Clearing , Chan
Urgent Travel Update
2007-10-27 17:49:00 Several weeks ago, I wrote about my obsessive quest to travel with carry-on luggage only, despite my certainty that I could not possibly fit all of my crap essentials into one measly, quart-sized, plastic bag with a resealable ziploc top. Many of you kindly offered helpful advice. Well. I did it. I reduced, reevaluated, miniaturized, rearranged, checked in online and walked right to my gate. I am once again free from The Prison of Waiting In Line to Surrender My Belongings, The Purgatory of Baggage Claim, and The Weekend Hell of Lost Baggage. Now, if I end up delayed and have to stay anywhere longer than three days, I will have to find a (paper; not plastic) bag to wear over my head while I scout out retail establishments for additional supplies, but I suppose I’ll cross that frizzy bridge when and if I come to it. For now, I will confidently pass through security, knowing that my baggie o’ liquids and gels meets government standards, content in the knowledge that I ... More About: Travel , Update , Urgent , Gent , Urge
Since Uncle Doug Outed Me…
2007-10-25 19:47:00 1) Yes it is my birthday. Thank you to those who already sent birthday wishes in the comments section of my previous post. 2) No, I am not 29. I am 29 plus an eighth grader. 3) Hannah gets very excited about all birthdays, because, a) she is a loving and generous child; and, b) she is ever-optimistic that there might be leftover cake and presents that just maybe, possibly, could be for her. I was folding laundry this morning, just like most days, when she woke up. “Mom?” I heard her croak, her voice indicating that she wasn’t quite awake yet. “Yes, Hannah?” I smiled, anticipating enthusiastic birthday wishes and multiple bear hug-tackles from my 47-pound blonde. She paused to yawn. I beamed, feeling the love about to come my way. Then, Hannah asked, with tremendous love and concern: “Did the Red Sox win?” She did come in soon after that to present me with my first homemade, pop-up birthday card of the day. And I did get hugs and kisses, from... More About: Doug , Uncle
Tomboy Goes 1800’s
2007-10-25 06:20:00 Abby prides herself on her modern style of dress. She likes the tomboy look, and it looks good on her. Here she is, posing with her little sister, complete with the usual look and attitude: So imagine my shock when Abby loved the stage costume she had to wear for a very recent (last weekend) local production of Little Women. This was a very girly and old-fashioned dress, and when I first saw it I thought she’d hate it. She was also excited to wear makeup and a head band which *gasp* pulled her hair off of her face, and in the process of being excited, she somehow forgot that it was all so… girly. I think I got through it all without squealing, but it was difficult. More About: Tomboy , Goes
C’mon, Gimme a Little Sugar
2007-10-10 04:44:00 Did you ever have one of those evenings where you would gladly trade in your left kneecap for dessert, and you’re cranky because you know there’s nothing in the house, and you begin to drool as you remember those delicious frozen coconut bars that you bought last week, and even though you know they’re long gone, you find yourself walking to the freezer to check, just in case somehow one of them slipped back behind the peas and carrots and escaped everyone else’s finely-tuned, dessert-seeking eyes, and then you look even though you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will be met with disappointment and a treat-free fridge? And then… while sighing in anticipation of your failed freezer investigation… you actually find one? Sometimes it’s the little blessings that make me the happiest. More About: Sugar , Litt , Gimme
Survey for the Curly-Haired Girls
2007-10-03 19:35:00 I have a question. I am genuinely curious here, in addition to being extremely determined to conquer this beast. The beast, of course, is my failure to fit all the liquids and gels I’ll need for a weekend into one teeny, tiny resealable one-quart plastic baggie. Because I really want to get back to traveling with carry-on luggage only, dammit. Ever since the FAA took the precaution of eliminating dangerous hair-care products and suspect mascaras from the main cabin in order to enhance my air travel safety, I have not even attempted to fly without checking my luggage. I had been a confirmed carry-on’er for many years, since: 1) I don’t particularly enjoy watching the luggage carousel go round and round while being elbowed by my fellow travelers, only to catapult myself forward at just the right moment, risking injury and the illusion of grace, so as to get to the front and grab my bag before someone else does, and 2) my travels aren’t nearly as pleasant whe... More About: Girls , Survey , Curl
A Wrinkle In Time
2007-09-29 18:28:00 Uncle Doug called this morning to chat with the birthday boy. Here’s a telling excerpt from their conversation: Uncle Doug: Sam, did your sisters wish you a Happy Birthday this morning? Sam: I ignored them. Uncle Doug: But buddy, they are your sisters and they love you. And you love them. Sam (deadpan): No, I hate them. More About: Time
Big Kid Birthday Alert
2007-09-28 21:15:00 Cuteness Overload Warning: Sam turns 12 (12???) tomorrow, so I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. UPDATE: He also informs me that he will be setting his watch alarm for 11:55 PM this evening, so as to fully enjoy his birthday. More About: Birthday , Alert
Sick Kid Update
2007-09-27 19:25:00 The relapse arrived only slightly off schedule, at 4:25 PM EST yesterday. “Mom,” she moan-screeched. “My throat hurts so much, I can’t even talk.” I didn’t tell her that her energy level and impressively high vocal volume betrayed her story just a tad. This morning, she gave the extra sick-day ploy one more try, as she crawled into bed with me, proclaiming that she was still very, very ill. “I don’t feel good.” She threw in a last-ditch, mournful request. “Please… feel… my… head.” She used her very best, wide-eyed croak, mustering every sad and downtrodden facial expression in her theatrical repertoire. She raised a little handful of crumpled kleenex and blew her sore nose. She blinked. She looked pathetic. All in. I declared her fit for school. She sighed. Then, she dropped the act and requested a bowl of Rice Krispies and a banana, while planning her outfit for the day and fighting with her s... More About: Update , Sick
Hannah’s Guide to Sick Days
2007-09-26 19:54:00 1) Wake up snuffly and stuffy. Exhibit just enough genuine misery to convince your mother that you really do need to take the day off. 2) Repeatedly declare your love for those extra-soft, lotion-infused tissues, even while steadfastly refusing to blow your nose, since “it will make the cold worse.” 3) Miraculously recover by 10 AM. However, continue to run a low grade fever so that your mom doesn’t drag you off to school for the rest of the day, which would be totally humiliating. 4) Ask if you can go shoe shopping, since you feel much better now. 5) When #4 fails, learn all the words and dance steps to “All for One,” from Disney’s High School Musical 2, then… shake it! 6) Take a break from the dance-a-thon long enough to inform your mom that you won’t be talking for “quite a while.” Write notes to express your needs, thoughts and questions. When asked why you have decided to stop talking, explain that you “just don... More About: Hannah , Guide , Days , Sick , Hanna
My Current Lunch Obsession
2007-09-25 15:37:00 Hm, I haven’t written a food post in a while. And dang it, I’m hungry! This time of year, as a rule, I consume far more than my fair share of tomatoes. They are everywhere, and those big-mama beefsteaks are gooooood. By all rights, I should be all lycopened out by now, but nope, I could eat them every day, and never get tired of their garden-tomatoey goodness. I made this up for lunch yesterday, and thought I’d share it here since I’m obsessed with it on a level that would do Homer Simpson proud. And while it’s not exactly a reduced-cal offering, it can be. A little cheese goes a long way, since the flavors are so strong. I used maybe one tablespoon total per slice of bread, and did not feel in any way deprived. Of course, I could (and often do) go the Homer route and pile it on, and um, that’d probably be pretty tasty, too. Open-Faced, Toasted Tomato and Basil Sammich with Dijon Mustard and Cheeeeeeeeese 1) Lightly toast one or two slices of b... More About: Lunch , Current , Obsession
Mini Me
2007-09-23 17:26:00 I am extremely late in reporting this, but a month ago, I promised my mom I’d post a side-by-side picture comparison, since this post freaked her out. It rattled me too, but for an entirely different reason. One of my babies, my oldest daughter, is growing up WAY too fast. Well, okay, they all are, but I digress. At age ten, Abby is looking more like a young adult than a child. Never mind. Been there, posted that. (I promise, I do have a point. Watch out, here it comes!) Rather than focusing on the current picture of Abby looking all grown up in high heels, my mom reacted to the first picture in the post. The one of Abby in preschool, taken seven years ago. Because she thought it was me. We were on the phone that day, and she pulled up my blog as we talked. She paused. She sounded confused. Mom: Where did you get that picture? Me: It was on my refrigerator. Mom: It was? I thought I had the only copy of that. Me: Huh? Mom: That’s you, Kathy. Me: No, Mom, that’s Ab... More About: Mini
Crack! Kiss! Duck! Ship!
2007-09-18 16:12:00 Sam discovered computer animation this summer. I posted his incredible, illustrated, homemade elevator animation to YouTube. So, proud and fascinated published animator that he was, he poked around and discovered that other kids, also interested in elevators, also post cool, obsessively-interested-in-elevators elevator videos to YouTube. (Here comes the part where I admit that I’m a terrible parent.) In the moment when my back was turned, probably while I was preparing a healthy and delicious, balanced dinner, he discovered — well — other stuff on YouTube. Crap. Because then, he discovered swear words. Lots of them. Lots and lots of uncensored, unmonitored, unencumbered by FCC standards, bonafide, internet-approved, genuine swear words. This newfound special interest in forbidden language continued and intensified throughout the summer. During family car rides, Sam would entertain horrify us all by listing all the obscene and censor-worthy words he knew. Then, he... More About: Kiss , Crack , Duck , Ship
Apology
2007-09-18 04:12:00 Yes, I have neglected my poor little blog of late. *hangs head* *thwacks self* *gets over it* More About: Apology , Ology , Polo
Uh Oh
2007-09-13 04:45:00 *fears being drummed out of WordPress for lack of attention to blog duties* Eep! More About: Uh Oh
Please, Somebody Save Me
2007-09-07 04:53:00 I seem to have been swallowed by the Back to School Monster. I’m here, but I’m up to my eyeballs in homework and the early bus (6:42 AM!) and back to school nights and politely hanging up on all the volunteer coordinators and… (was that out loud?) Oops. More About: Save , Save Me , Some
I Suppose It’s All Relative
2007-09-02 19:40:00 Up until twelve minutes ago, Sam’s room was unvacuumable. Crap everywhere. Shoes, blankets, K’Nex, clothes, trash, bike helmet, school supplies and peanut butter crackers covering every square inch of floor, making it impassable. I even failed at my most recent attempt to put his clean clothes in, on top of, or near his dresser drawers, since I was barefoot at the time and couldn’t step into the room without impaling my foot on a train part. This is how he answered the call to clean his room. He feels his work is done. More About: Pose
Please Excuse My Absence
2007-08-29 23:05:00 … of late, but school started yesterday, so I have spent most of my time buying school supplies according to specific, teacher-supplied lists, for which I am grateful so that I’m not guessing and buying the wrong stuff, which would certainly result in return trips to the store, except that the lists keep on coming, so I’ve been to Staples three times and Target twice, in three days. And Abby brought home another list today. Also, Hannah needs new soccer cleats, Abby is waiting to hear back regarding whether or not she got a part in an October production of Little Women, I have a meeting with Sam’s teachers tomorrow morning at 8:30, and I need to find new dental insurance since our dentist, who I specifically chose because she was the only dentist within 25 miles who took our insurance, stopped taking it. So tomorrow’s not looking so good either. And since I’m on a rant (I may as well get it all out now and then be done with it, trust me on this)... More About: Excuse
So Much Kitty Kibble, So Little Time
2007-08-26 02:19:00 I took my neurotic, chirping, one year-old, emergency backup sidekick cat, Lily, to the vet today, for her first annual checkup. She did not appreciate it when I removed her from her sun-drenched post at the front door and unceremoniously stuffed her into her crate, then ran her out to the car and dumped her into the backseat. Certainly, she thought she was being kidnapped (I was going to say “catnapped,” but that means something else entirely) and complained loudly during what must have been an excruciatingly nerve-wracking, seven-minute ride. What’s to become of my water bowl? My fuzzy pink mouse? My luscccious catnip toys? WHO’S WATCHING THE DOOR?? Meow!!! I haven’t used the litterbox yet!!! Lily calmed down slightly once she was out of the car, and she was uncharacteristically cooperative while being pawed (har) on the slippery, metal examination table. She didn’t even flinch during two surprise needle pokes. She is healthy, happy, soft and b... More About: Time , Kitty , Litt
Top 5 Hidden Positives to Returning from 10 days of “Vacation”
2007-08-22 21:52:00 Note: And by “vacation,” I mean time spent away from my place of residence in another state with members of my family who may or may not be complaining about my sub-par cleaning skills (Mom) or reinforcing Sam’s new habit of saying “Hey, get your hand off my ass!” (Uncle Doug) or harboring germs and throwing up on freshly cleaned carpets (two out of Uncle Mike and Aunt Dar’s three kids) or commandeering the remote (Dad.) But we cherish them, really. So as I unpack and regroup and try to get myself in gear while the kids stare at the calendar in disbelief as the summer days dwindle away, it occurs to me that even though many of us paint the end of “vacation” as a bad thing, there is much positive spin to rejoice in. 1. I see the clutter with new eyes. I rarely notice it, but right now, no toy, piece of furniture or odd sock is safe. Who needs all this crap and why does it dominate my house? 2. I am driven to empty and clean the fridge,... More About: Vacation , Days , Hidden , Posi
Back In the Land of the Reliable Wireless Signal…
2007-08-21 06:18:00 … so I’ll return to my regular blogging post shortly. Is summer really over? When did this happen? More About: Wireless , Back , Land , Signal
So Much for Subtlety
2007-08-16 16:20:00 Most visits to my parents include some time with Uncle Doug, seen on this very blog, frequenting the comments section. Abby and Hannah got to sleep over at Uncle Doug’s house one night, while Sam had a “Boys Night” with his cousins at Uncle Mike’s house, which featured sleeping bags, Cheezits, and untold rude noises. Abby and Hannah’s sleepover included wacky latenight movies and evidently, no food (I assumed popcorn and had that detail written in the first draft of this post, but when Uncle Doug complained about my yellow journalism, I deleted it.) Uncle Doug reports that he and the girls lined up on the floor, lying down on their backs to watch the movie. Neither kid wanted to be closest to the stairs leading down to the front door, for fear of “strangers, monsters or marauders of some sort.” Uncle Doug tried to resolve the controversy by bravely offering to take the Danger Position, which resulted in a new controversy, since both Abby a...
A Day At the Waterpark
2007-08-14 21:35:00 Sam gets dumped on Who needs soap? My little poser Three wet kids
Pulse Check
2007-08-14 17:05:00 The Good News: Yes, I am still breathing. The Other News: The new, upgraded, superduper DSL at Mom and Dad’s house is sporadic, and taunts me. Travel tales to follow soon. Or, eventually. Maybe. More About: Check , Puls , Pulse
A Film by Sam
2007-08-10 05:49:00 “The Accident” A stunning, live-action, 12-second film; written, produced, directed and photographed on location by Sam. Acting credits: Victim ……………& hellip;…………&h ellip;……. Sam Sam’s Stunt Double ……………& hellip; Sam Scooter ……………& hellip;…………&h ellip;….. Scooter No animals and/or medium-sized children were harmed during the making of this film. More About: Film
Somebody Hold Me
2007-08-08 22:16:00 How and when — ow, gawd, WHEN?? — did my adorable little 10 year-old daughter change magically from this tiny little person (and really, I look at this preschool picture and I swear she was talking about circle time and learning to ride a bike only the blink of an eye ago): into this so very grown up and beautiful — argh, I’m afraid to say it — pre-teen/young-adultish creature? (And the photo quality stinks because I only had my cell phone crapcam with me, but I’m actually glad it’s blurry) AAAACCCCKKKK!!! I took her to Payless to buy a new pair of flip flops to get her through the summer, and she made a beeline for the women’s size 6 stilettos, using the aisle as her own personal runway until I dragged her from the store. This kid has got the poses, the walk, the attitude. And the LEGS… I mean… Ooohhh. Craaaap! Wasn’t she just kicking off her tiny little baby socks? Begging for Hello Kitty sneakers? Loving he... More About: Hold , Some , Hold Me
The Magic That Is YouTube
More articles from this author:2007-08-07 16:52:00 I park my homemade videos at YouTube so that I can post them here. They are needles in a very large haystack, and I assume for the most part that the only people who view them are family and friends who read about them on this very blog. YouTube counts how many times each video is watched. Views on mine have ranged anywhere from 17 up to about 200. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that the video clip of Hannah getting her ears pierced has somehow amassed an enthusiastic YouTube-using tween following? They leave insightful comments such as “Hannah ur so cool” and “LOL my sis made me watch this.” This clip has been viewed 1,593 times. I will not tell Hannah of her fan club. But I do wonder if any of them are available to babysit. More About: Youtube , Magic 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
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