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Notes from The Hallway
2007-12-02 05:42:00
1) Sam’s first school dance is history. I am happy to report that I am breathing again. 2) There are no action photos, since the gym was pitch black, with the exception of the occasional migraine-producing strobe light provided by the DJ. 3) If Sam did dance, I’m fairly certain that the dancing was of the jumping up and down variety. 4) He spent more than half his time in the cafeteria, away from the loud music and near the fruit rollups. Sam eating fruit snacks while putting up with his mother and her camera. 5) Girls (many of whom appeared to have tragically collided with their mothers’ makeup bags) outnumbered boys, at least 3:1. 6) More than dancing, the preferred activity of the evening appeared to be walking. Walking the halls, walking to the bathrooms, walking back and forth between the gym (darkness, scent of sweatsocks, extremely loud music) and the cafeteria (snacks, pizza, water bottles.) 7) Helpful Hint #1: If you are the guy assigned with the task of ...
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Friday Night Turn-Up-the-Lights
2007-11-30 19:45:00
Announcement: Tonight I get to be a chaperone at Sam’s very. First. School. Dance. *cue disbelief, tears, and “I remember when you were a baby!” stories* He brought a notice home in his backpack a few weeks ago and declared that he wanted to go. I don’t think he knows what he’s in for, but then, in 6th grade, did anybody? I remember trying to make myself invisible by backing up against a wall with most of the rest of the girls, keeping very busy with pizza and Coke and highly important chit-chat, and trying to look oh-so-cool and entirely comfortable in this painfully awkward and awful situation, so as to have several excuses at all times why I just absolutely could not dance. No, thank you. No. Way. I’m not exactly sure why anybody went in the first place, since, afterall, it was billed as a dance, at which one would expect, one would think, to be, perhaps, dancing. But… N. O. No!!! How embarrassing! Tonight, I’ll be the one hidin...
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This Is Why I Exercise
2007-11-30 13:24:00
Again, with the soup. I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I blame both of my grandmothers. Beef Stew with Herbed Dumplings This is my favorite version of a winter beef stew, which is, as far as I’m concerned, one of VERY FEW existing saving graces of cold weather (the others are: 2) ice skating, and 3) hot chocolate.) This stew is very easy to make, but takes its sweet time getting itself cooked. However, the resulting rich, smoky flavor and incredibly tender bites of slow-cooked beef are well worth the time spent within stirring distance. Making the stew: 3 pounds boneless beef chuck, cut into 1-inch cubes 2 TBLS peanut oil 5 thick-sliced bacon strips, chopped (I used Trader Joe’s Applewood Smoked Center Cut Bacon) 3 cups finely chopped onions (3 or 4 medium onions) 3 stalks celery, chopped 3 or 4 cloves fresh garlic, pressed or finely chopped 2 tsp dried thyme 1 bay leaf 5 1/2 cups low-sodium canned beef broth (can sub a cup or two of red wine for some of the broth...
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Huh, I Never Knew
2007-11-28 21:45:00
Sam: Mom, you know what I want for Christmas? Me: What, Sam? Sam: Aqua Dots. Me: They don’t sell those anymore, pal. Sam: Why not? Me: Because they have a chemical in them that causes unconsiousness, drowsiness, seizures, coma and death was making kids sick. Sam: They won’t make ME sick! I was born hydrodynamic*! *Never mind the definition; Sam thinks it means “strong.” When I asked him where he heard that, he said, “Sponge Bob told me.”

Simple Needs
2007-11-27 22:51:00
Life Rule #372: Never pass up an opportunity to toss a penny in a fountain. … sometimes your wishes come true! (Occasionally, in a matter of mere minutes.) Life Rule #373 (according to Abby): On those rare occasions when your mother grants you a tall vanilla creme frappuccino, always request extra whipped cream.
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Uncle Doug’s Thanksgiving Recipe
2007-11-25 17:15:00
1.) Remove cap from can of whipped cream. 2.) Spray liberally into the mouth of an adorable two year-old. 3.) Be thankful for her extremely tolerant mother, who indulges us by allowing such silliness, even after I insulted her dog. 4.) Repeat.
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For This, I Give Thanks
2007-11-22 06:13:00
1.) Love 2.) My children and their health 3.) Words 4.) a) Chocolate, b) venti iced quad nonfat cappucinos, and c) mashed potatoes (not necessarily consumed simultaneously) 5.) Outstanding teachers 6.) Four-leaf clovers 7.) Curly-girl hair care products that actually work 8.) Those who value kindness 9.) Big Papi 10.) Laughing until it hurts What are you thankful for?
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Air Travel Envy
2007-11-21 14:45:00
Sam (jealous and pouting): What if I came in without a ticket and I snuck onto the plane? Me: You can’t do that, Sam. Sam: Why not? Me: You’d get arrested at airport security. Sam (smiling): What happens then? Will I get arrested, handcuffed, processed and jailed? Then killed, cemeteried and heavened? Me: No Sam, I’m pretty sure they’ll keep you alive. Sam: Will I still get fruit punch and a cookie? Me: We have those at home, bud.
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Our Ziploc Bags Are Packed
2007-11-21 00:50:00
Abby and I get to have a little one-on-one, mother/daughter, girl-bonding time! At least, until the plane lands, where we’ll be greeted by my parents, two of my brothers, one extremely tolerant sister-in-law, two nephews, one niece, one sweet old dog, one spoiled-rotten puppy, two cats, and a dead turkey. Tomorrow morning, we will be locked in a sea of humanity at the security gate airport bound, on our way to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, in the town where I grew up. I’ll be busy trolling for open wireless signals while playing hide and seek with my nephews, asking my dad to turn the TV down, and gaining five pounds. Cranberry-orange relish with a side of stuffing, please. PRE-TRAVEL UPDATE: Oh, goodie. 11/21 MORNING UPDATE: We have whipped cream.
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“Hello, Fed Ex? How Much to Deliver a Document to The North Pole?&rdq
2007-11-20 18:22:00
Sam has become an impressively skilled film maker. He uses a video camera, his computer, and every airplane/ship/train model he can find to tell his stories. I can already see the Steven Spielberg potential in his vision and intensity of focus. This morning he informed me that he wants an “Aero Line Playmobile Airport.” I reminded him that he still needs to write up a Christmas list. It was 6:15 AM. He had not yet eaten or dressed for school, but ran toward the art supplies box in search of pencil and paper. But he didn’t write a list. He drew up a contract. As soon as he realized there was no chance I’d run out right then to secure his coveted airport, he crossed out the line in the middle. What cannot be seen is the line at the very end, which he erased: “… or you’ll be tied to the railroad tracks!” When I asked him why he kept the part about walking the plank, but erased the threat of death by MetroLiner, he said, “I thoug...
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Edumacation Survey
2007-11-15 20:18:00
Is it just that my memory is failing, or was 6th grade math not anywhere near this hard when I was in grade school? Here is a page of Sam’s actual homework: *fears 7th grade*
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Mall Update
2007-11-14 04:54:00
1.) After 27 minutes of stalking and searching, we found a parking spot. 2.) We stopped at the crepe place and purchased very delicious food and/or drink. Three times. (1) Savory crepes. 2) Drinks. 3) Ice cream.) 3.) Abby happily and firmly declared, “When I’m a grownup, I’m going to go to the mall every weekend.” 4.) Hannah did not get to take home her coveted fuzzy purse, Hannah Montana wig, or $49 sweatshirt. 5.) I. Had. Fun. (*gasp*) 6.) Mainly because the girls were in great moods, and because the mall seems to make them want to really girl-bond, in the sense that they want to talk and laugh and be together. Whoa. 7.) We threw pennies in the first floor fountain, from the second floor. 8.) We found a 70%-off-lowest-marked-price sale where the “totally cool shirts” were seven dollars each. 9.) We found a place that sells chocolate. And coffee. And chocolate. 10.) We shopped until Hannah literally dropped. Following the purchase of the $7.00 s...
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Can’t We Just Stay Home and Take A Nap? Comb the Cats? Clean the Frid
2007-11-12 18:59:00
WHINE WARNING: I am minutes from heading out (*sputter*) to the mall (*gaaack*) with my daughters, who have requested a shopping excursion (*hurl*) and still want to go, even though I have assured them that we will not be spending money in excess of $10 on items we don’t need, beyond whatever it costs to eat a mall-type lunch. I am working hard to set aside my own distaste-for-shopping-as-sport, and wondering why my daughters think that the best girl-bonding must include retail activities. I even told them last night that we would not be going unless they cleaned their rooms. Ha! I was certain that this was a brilliant gem of a move on my part, as that will never happen. I have harped on them unsuccessfully for several weeks, but of course, this morning, both rooms were spotless before the coffee was even a glimmer in my eye. Which was actually still closed, along with the other one. Maybe this whole shopping thing isn’t such a bad idea after all. *hides credit cards*
More About: Cats , Home , Clean , Stay , Comb

Hotel Hannah
2007-11-11 16:35:00
One of Hannah ’s most wonderful qualities is her ability to entertain herself. For the past six months, my youngest has played an ongoing and elaborate game of “Hotel .” The living room is the lobby and all other rooms are guest rooms. She is extremely proud of her impressive collection of assorted, actual, old hotel key cards, which she distributes to all family members and playmates upon “check in,” which occurs multiple times per guest whenever anyone is anywhere near the front desk/coffee table. She bickers viciously with her sister over management responsibilities — most days they end up as “co-managers,” but now and again, I’ll find a carefully designed business card or nameplate declaring one employee or the other as “THE ONLY Hotel Manager.” The hospitality business is not for wimps. Recently, I received this notice in my guest room mailbox, which is to say, it was under my pillow. I am confronted with several...

Diva In Training
2007-11-09 19:50:00
When you’re eight years-old and wearing flip-flops in November and cruising the ‘hood with your friends, and then you fall down in a mud puddle and run back to your friend’s house in search of warm running water and dry socks, happiness is… …chicken nuggets and hot chocolate and macaroni and cheese. Note: There is no school today, so there are extra children here. They won’t stay still, so I can’t accurately report how many. As I made lunch today, Hannah’s friend Josie (”Charlotte” in last spring’s Big Theatrical Production) asked, in her best hopeless-and-hungry voice, “How long until the food is ready?” I pretended to be extremely offended, dropped my jaw to show my extreme shock at her question, and said, “You’re so demanding!” Then, I smiled, and answered, “Eight minutes.” Josie widened her eyes to express her extreme need for food RIGHT NOW, and said, “Eight minutes!!?? Oh, CHEEEEEZNIPP...
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He Really Wanted A Chicken Patty
2007-11-08 21:36:00
UPDATE for anyone keeping track of SAM’S EXPERIMENTAL POTTY MOUTH PHASE, which I don’t see ending anytime soon: Sam (suppressing laughter, frowning dramatically for emphasis, and checking my face for a reaction): I hate spaghetti. It makes me angry and pissed. Me (also suppressing laughter): I’m sorry spaghetti has such a negative impact on your mood, Sam. Sam: Yeah. It stinks and sucks. Me: Get over it, bud.
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Overheard at the Dinner Table
2007-11-08 00:10:00
Sam: Hey Abby, do you have a 1:1 aide? Me (to Abby, mouthing words through gritted teeth, with eyebrows raised): Abby! Just. Say. “No.” Abby (laughing): No. Me: Sam, what do 1:1 aides do? Sam: They’re for very special certain people. Me: Why do you have a 1:1 aide? Sam: Because she loves me. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Abby: *snork*
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Revelation
2007-11-06 20:48:00
I was just doing a little blog-housekeeping, and discovered, quite by accident, that virtually all of my recipe posts involve orange food. I find this odd, as I’m fairly certain that I enjoy the full spectrum of food colors, with the possible exception of grey. My dad once became obsessed with carrots and ate so many that the excess beta carotene turned the whites of his eyes yellow. (Okay, not really; it actually turned out that he had hepatitis, but for a while there, the excess carrot thing was his favored and at least somewhat plausible hypothesis. Plus, it illustrates my point, as to my chromosomally-acquired obsessive tendencies, so why should I let reality get in the way of a good analogy?) I don’t think I’m quite this obsessive myself, at least not with food, although my blog content says otherwise. I’ll try to think of a different topic to write about, or at least a different color to cook with eventually, I promise. But for now, I’ll be in t...
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Be Vewy Quiet, I’m Hunting… Cawwots?
2007-11-05 21:08:00
Not exactly worthy of Elmer Fudd, but while it ain’t quite wabbit stew, I did make some politically correct (if you’re a hunted meat product) bunny-friendly soup that Bugs himself might enjoy. That is, if he were real and not a cartoon. Really, I do have some grasp on reality. OK, whatever. Carrot Soup With Ginger and Lemon This is my altered version of a recipe that originally appeared in Bon Appetit. The basic version is a little too sweet for me, so I cut the natural sugar in the carrots with extra lemon juice, and bumped up the spices (garlic, cumin, cayenne pepper) to make it a little more on the savoury side. Sometimes my little kitchen experiments fail miserably, but, oh. This. One. Worked. 2 - 3 TBSP butter 1 medium onion, chopped 1 TBSP finely chopped fresh ginger 1 1/2 tsp minced fresh garlic (1 large clove) 1 tsp cumin 1 1/4 pounds medium carrots*; peeled, chopped (about 3 cups) 2 plum tomatoes; seeded, chopped (about 1 1/3 cups) 1 TBSP grated lemon zest (a...
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A Public Service Announcement from Abby and Hannah
2007-11-02 15:37:00
This is what happens when I leave my camera out on the kitchen counter at kid-eye-level. They take it. They use up the batteries. Sometimes they get it all sticky. However, this is useful tape-slash-horse information they’re providing here, and frankly, what would I write about if my kids were angelic and well-behaved? So there’s that.
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Halloweenies
2007-11-01 13:15:00
Two pirates and a “crazy, mixed-up doll,” Abby’s original idea. And of course, dueling pirates!
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Trick or Treat!
2007-10-31 13:11:00
Here’s hoping that all your treats are chocolate, and all your bats are big ones. Designed and carved by (clockwise from top left:) Sam, Hannah, Abby, Me MY FINAL AND ONLY BASEBALL CELEBRATION UPDATE: Love the Red Sox or hate ‘em, we could all take a lesson in “dancing like nobody’s watching” (even though a bazillion people were) from pitcher Jonathan Papelbon, described this morning on Sports Radio as “just the right combination of insane and intense.” Plus, ya gotta love the Dropkick Murphys cruising through the streets of Boston on a flatbed truck.
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Crap, No Chance My Baggie’s Clearing Security Now
2007-10-30 21:29:00
Random declaration of the day: Sam: Mom, know what I wanna be when I grow up? Me: Nope. What? Sam: A Western Terrorist. Me: Um. A what? Sam: You know, one of those guys who ties females to railroad tracks. Me: Of course. I discovered this poor little elephant today, cruelly taped to a skateboard. But first, I ran him her over with my van.
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Urgent Travel Update
2007-10-27 17:49:00
Several weeks ago, I wrote about my obsessive quest to travel with carry-on luggage only, despite my certainty that I could not possibly fit all of my crap essentials into one measly, quart-sized, plastic bag with a resealable ziploc top. Many of you kindly offered helpful advice. Well. I did it. I reduced, reevaluated, miniaturized, rearranged, checked in online and walked right to my gate. I am once again free from The Prison of Waiting In Line to Surrender My Belongings, The Purgatory of Baggage Claim, and The Weekend Hell of Lost Baggage. Now, if I end up delayed and have to stay anywhere longer than three days, I will have to find a (paper; not plastic) bag to wear over my head while I scout out retail establishments for additional supplies, but I suppose I’ll cross that frizzy bridge when and if I come to it. For now, I will confidently pass through security, knowing that my baggie o’ liquids and gels meets government standards, content in the knowledge that I ...
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Since Uncle Doug Outed Me…
2007-10-25 19:47:00
1) Yes it is my birthday. Thank you to those who already sent birthday wishes in the comments section of my previous post. 2) No, I am not 29. I am 29 plus an eighth grader. 3) Hannah gets very excited about all birthdays, because, a) she is a loving and generous child; and, b) she is ever-optimistic that there might be leftover cake and presents that just maybe, possibly, could be for her. I was folding laundry this morning, just like most days, when she woke up. “Mom?” I heard her croak, her voice indicating that she wasn’t quite awake yet. “Yes, Hannah?” I smiled, anticipating enthusiastic birthday wishes and multiple bear hug-tackles from my 47-pound blonde. She paused to yawn. I beamed, feeling the love about to come my way. Then, Hannah asked, with tremendous love and concern: “Did the Red Sox win?” She did come in soon after that to present me with my first homemade, pop-up birthday card of the day. And I did get hugs and kisses, from...
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Tomboy Goes 1800’s
2007-10-25 06:20:00
Abby prides herself on her modern style of dress. She likes the tomboy look, and it looks good on her. Here she is, posing with her little sister, complete with the usual look and attitude: So imagine my shock when Abby loved the stage costume she had to wear for a very recent (last weekend) local production of Little Women. This was a very girly and old-fashioned dress, and when I first saw it I thought she’d hate it. She was also excited to wear makeup and a head band which *gasp* pulled her hair off of her face, and in the process of being excited, she somehow forgot that it was all so… girly. I think I got through it all without squealing, but it was difficult.
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C’mon, Gimme a Little Sugar
2007-10-10 04:44:00
Did you ever have one of those evenings where you would gladly trade in your left kneecap for dessert, and you’re cranky because you know there’s nothing in the house, and you begin to drool as you remember those delicious frozen coconut bars that you bought last week, and even though you know they’re long gone, you find yourself walking to the freezer to check, just in case somehow one of them slipped back behind the peas and carrots and escaped everyone else’s finely-tuned, dessert-seeking eyes, and then you look even though you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will be met with disappointment and a treat-free fridge? And then… while sighing in anticipation of your failed freezer investigation… you actually find one? Sometimes it’s the little blessings that make me the happiest.
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Survey for the Curly-Haired Girls
2007-10-03 19:35:00
I have a question. I am genuinely curious here, in addition to being extremely determined to conquer this beast. The beast, of course, is my failure to fit all the liquids and gels I’ll need for a weekend into one teeny, tiny resealable one-quart plastic baggie. Because I really want to get back to traveling with carry-on luggage only, dammit. Ever since the FAA took the precaution of eliminating dangerous hair-care products and suspect mascaras from the main cabin in order to enhance my air travel safety, I have not even attempted to fly without checking my luggage. I had been a confirmed carry-on’er for many years, since: 1) I don’t particularly enjoy watching the luggage carousel go round and round while being elbowed by my fellow travelers, only to catapult myself forward at just the right moment, risking injury and the illusion of grace, so as to get to the front and grab my bag before someone else does, and 2) my travels aren’t nearly as pleasant whe...
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A Wrinkle In Time
2007-09-29 18:28:00
Uncle Doug called this morning to chat with the birthday boy. Here’s a telling excerpt from their conversation: Uncle Doug: Sam, did your sisters wish you a Happy Birthday this morning? Sam: I ignored them. Uncle Doug: But buddy, they are your sisters and they love you. And you love them. Sam (deadpan): No, I hate them.
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Big Kid Birthday Alert
2007-09-28 21:15:00
Cuteness Overload Warning: Sam turns 12 (12???) tomorrow, so I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. UPDATE: He also informs me that he will be setting his watch alarm for 11:55 PM this evening, so as to fully enjoy his birthday.
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