Why Would I Sleep?Why Would I Sleep?Mom writes while kids tear the house apart and enjoys the challenge of maintaining correct spelling, grammar and sentence structure while also making dinner and answering questions such as, Mom, why can't I get a bra yet? Articles
In the Interest of Self Amusement
2007-05-26 18:44:00 The Blog Stats page is one of my favorite things about WordPress. It appeals to my inner geek, allowing me to see how many of you read what I write here, which posts you’re interested in, and where you’re coming from. I can analyze readership trends, read what you’re writing, and provide stalker information to local law enforcement officials. It’s a very handy tool. The “Search Engine Terms” section is my favorite part of the spy page. If an unsuspecting reader or two happen upon my blog by innocently searching for some topic such as kids or pork or legos, I get to see exactly what search terms were typed to steer said searchers here. I feel sorry for these people. I imagine some goodhearted, kind, perhaps even slightly panicked person searching for legitimate WebMD or child-rearing information, and landing instead here in the land of hair growth formula, gaseous emissions, and bodily injury. Following is a list of actual search engine terms that ... More About: Interest , Amusement , Eres
The Promised 4th Grade Blond Boyfriend Post Has Been Cancelled
2007-05-23 16:11:00 …because said boyfriend broke up with Abby yesterday. For the third time, actually. I like this kid. He is sweet, polite, funny and easy to have around. But he made Abby cry, so I’m mad at him. I admire his shameless tactics, though. Fourth Grade Blond Boyfriend got a ticket to Shrek the Third, Skittles, and some movie nachos out of the deal before moving on to Abby’s best friend, his third girlfriend in a month.* Abby was sad yesterday, arriving home from school with red-streaked cheeks and a serious case of the blahs, but was back to her usual hyper-chatty self in time to watch the big American Idol finale (Blake?? Blake is still there??) and spoke very positively about her desire to move to a new town and get a fresh start. *For those keeping score at home: 4th Grade Blond Boyfriend (4GBB) first came into the picture while he was “dating” Abby’s Preschool Best Friend — Girl #1 (APBF-1.) He broke up with her, while waiting for the sch... More About: Post , Promise , Been
983,394
2007-05-19 16:10:00 That’s how many blogs exist on WordPress. I look for that number every time I log on, because I wonder when it’s going to hit a million, and what will happen once it does. Several days ago, it suddenly occurred to me that there might be some sort of pomp, maybe even circumstance, once the blog counter rolls over that ginormous number. Will there be a party? Fireworks? Cake? Will the millionth bloglit get a bottle of screen cleaner? Maybe a gift certificate from Stop & Shop for a week’s worth of produce? Free publicity?? I’m tempted to start new blogs every day just so that maybe I could be the millionth. Except that I don’t, because I’m really just trying to keep up with this one. But really, I want to see what happens. There could be a Major Award involved. Update: Now it’s at 984,809. So sign up! You never know.
ATTENTION LOVERS OF LEMONGRASS AND LAVENDER
2007-05-18 21:07:00 Someone really ought to pay me for this stuff, but they don’t,* so please consider this a public service announcement. When you are in a very bad mood because it’s raining and the kids have filled the couch cushions with Rice Krispies again, and there’s no tequila left because you drank it last week after your youngest daughter broke your new Razr phone in two, and the cat just puked in your gym bag, trust me when I tell you that if you get in the shower with this stuff, you will relocate the happy. *But if the nice people from Dani happen to stumble across this post, a bottle or two of your outrageously expensive dangerously addictive shower gel would suffice nicely, really. (Lemongrass-lavender, please. You know, just like it says right up there in the title.) /end girly post More About: Lovers , Grass , Ender , Attention , Vender
Dare to Dream, Blondie
2007-05-16 07:07:00 Hannah’s 8th birthday is in exactly two weeks. Ten days ago, she declared that “the packages” really should be arriving soon. I must have looked confused, because she went on to explain that many presents must be making their way to our house via UPS truck since it was, afterall, getting very close to her birthday. I felt the urge to manage her expectations so that she wouldn’t be crushed when her mounds of gifts don’t arrive as expected, so I told her that maybe she’ll get one or two mailed packages, max, from her grandparents. I suggested that she might consider, at some point, putting together a wish list so that Her People might have some idea about what she might like to receive on her birthday. Tonight, she wrote this: Translation: Owl Shining Star Penguin Shining Star iPod Nano (oh, like that’s gonna happen) Uncle Doug (he did appear once; in fact, he jumped out of a box, having driven ten hours to join us on her birthday, so I&rsq... More About: Dream , Blondie , Dare
Fortunately, Nobody Was Injured
2007-05-15 14:11:00 Sam re-enacts this scene several times daily, always using the same words, timing, and tonality. The first time he did it, I thought he’d be upset about the broken airplane, but evidently the fun is in the rebuilding. He patiently rebuilds it after each “landing” and enthusiastically sets up for the next crash. Sam serves as camera man, director and voice talent, and his bedroom works well as a soundstage. Watch carefully for glimpses of dirty laundry, old homework, and half-empty juice boxes. More About: Fortuna , Fort , Nate , Nobody , Injured
Caption Contest
2007-05-15 05:35:00 Oh no…. what happened here? Please write the caption. Winner gets a prize.* *Prize to be determined; could possibly be a stuffed cow with very slight fang damage. More About: Contest , Test , Contes , Caption
Tastes Like Summer
2007-05-14 06:23:00 Hey, I haven’t written a recipe post in a long time! But I got inspired this weekend. When it’s cold, I make soup, but when spring sprouts and the sun gets warm, I crave fresh strawberries, still warm from the sun, garden tomatoes, anything involving basil, and my mom’s Black Bean Salad. I make it almost weekly throughout the summer, and never get tired of it. It’s one of those “I don’t need to look at the recipe anymore because I know all the ingredients” kind of recipes, although occasionally, I’ll realize a day after mixing some up that I forgot a thing or two. It always works, though. Two of my kids won’t go near it, of course (because it has vegetables and stuff… ew!) But Abby loves it, and we bond over every bowl. Black Bean Salsa Salad 2 15 oz. cans black beans, drained and rinsed 2 cups sweet corn kernels; either frozen (the Trader Joe’s kind is gooood) or from 3 ears of fresh corn 1 red pepper, finely diced... More About: Summer , Taste , Like
Happy Mother’s Day!
2007-05-13 17:03:00 Hannah skipped toward me this morning with a large grin on her face and informed me that I was, under no circumstances, allowed to get up. I said, “Hannah, you realize that if I don’t get up, you won’t get any bacon, right?” She considered this quandary very carefully before saying, “Nope! You have to stay in bed.” She made toast — all by her big seven year-old self — and brought it to me with pomp, circumstance, and a big “ta da!” flourish. Then she showered me with gifts; all things that she made herself. This was her Mother ’s Day masterpiece, which was presented rolled up, wrapped in gold paper, and tied with a curly ribbon. The picture shows the house and front yard, with details of the garden, where I have spent a lot of time lately. Sam and Abby were sweet with hugs and Happy Mother’s Day wishes, but evidently are too cool to make stuff for me anymore. *sniff* More About: S Day
Nutrition According to Hannah: Why Cheez-Its Make An Excellent Breakfast
More articles from this author:2007-05-11 17:48:00 Friday morning, 7:28 AM Me: Hannah , have you eaten any real breakfast yet? Hannah: Mom, I was reading the side of the box and Cheezits have Vitamin A… Iron… ooo, they have Vitamin C! Me: Hm… the box has the words Vitamin A and Vitamin C on it, but look, do you see the numbers next to them? Hannah (looking): It says… 0%. What does that mean? Me: It means you still need to eat some breakfast. Hannah (still reading, optimistic that she can still make her case): It says it has sodium! Is that good? Me: How ’bout Cheerios and a banana? Hannah: Can I still have a banana smoothie after school? Me: Yes. Now gimme the box. Hannah: *sigh* UPDATE: More About: Breakfast , Nutrition , Anna , Make 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
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