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Do We Dare to Be… Hopeful?
2009-01-18 19:04:00
I am a little bit obsessed with all the updates about last Thursday’s so called “Miracle on the Hudson.” I realize I’m not alone in this. A major news story free of doom and gloom? (Unless, of course, you happen to be a goose.) A gloriously happy ending? Given the current state of the world, the sheer optimism of this story is as shocking as it is uplifting. Everything about the conclusion of US Air Flight 1549 is incredible. Stranger than fiction. The plane didn’t break apart. It didn’t flip over in the water. Nothing exploded. Nobody died on impact. The plane didn’t sink. Nobody drowned. If a plane crash-landed in a movie like this flight actually did land on Thursday (see the video in the newslink above) the audience would bust out laughing at its implausibility. It just doesn’t happen that way. We see the harrowing crash scenes in movies like Castaway, or recall the circumstances of other plane crashes in years past, and know t...
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Uh Oh
2008-11-24 03:42:00
My laptop has had electrical “issues” for months. I always have to nudge the plug back and forth, and sometimes I even prop the plug up in one direction or another just to convince the danged thing to charge. But still, I’ve managed to get it to work, most days. But today, my poor, stubborn computer started smoking, and I don’t think Nicorette’s gonna go do us much good. Burning-wire-scented, little curls of smoke, right at the spot where the plug goes in. Not good. UPDATE AS OF DECEMBER 2: Yep, it died. Replacement computer is on the way, but seems to have been sent via Pony Express. Trying to stay strong. *sniff*

Huh
2008-11-22 17:32:00
Sometimes strange things happen on my stats page, but I can usually figure out why. But I sit here completely stumped as to what seismic event caused this here blog to receive 456 hits yesterday. No clue. Anyone? Bueller?

Someone Slept Through Science Class
2008-11-13 17:26:00
…which was, unfortunately for her, a prerequisite to meaningful membership in The Environmental Activists’ Club.
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36
2008-11-12 21:56:00
That’s how many unpublished drafts I have lurking in my files. And after a careful review, I have determined that exactly (wait for it) — none of them — have qualities of publishablenessicosity, as they pertain to past events, times, and places. Hmph!! Gotta get blogging again. I may drag a few oldies out from my archives along the way, so please bear with me. Just trying to restart the engine, and it may take a little tinkering some medication a few whacks on the head to get me restarted.

Over
2008-11-06 18:19:00
*breathes* *moves on*

I’m So Looking Forward to November 5th
2008-10-27 16:44:00
I resisted writing this here, as I didn’t really want my very first post after a month of silence to be a rant. However, it’s my blog, dammit, so I’m going to do it anyway. Warning: no humor here! This started as a comment on a friend’s blog. Don’t ever let it be said that I’m not famous for repeating myself (over and over.) Last week, I received an email from one of my best friends from college. It was a copied and pasted, forwarded political rant, based on — oh, how shall I put this — internet-rumor-hate-mongering-xenophobic bullshit, designed to prey upon people’s most basic fears. My issue with my friend is not about her choice of candidate. This kind of crap does not discriminate by party. Everyone gets a vote, and I am always curious to hear and understand opinions and points of view, particularly if they differ from my own. I get frustrated when people fall prey to and base their opinions on either party’s campaign ...
More About: November , November 5th , Forward

Why I Love Hannah’s 4th Grade Teacher
2008-09-18 15:53:00
I knew I liked Hannah ’s teacher when she came home singing the following song: “Brown Squirrel” (First and second verse, as taught to Hannah and her classmates:) Brown squirrel, brown squirrel, Shake your bushy tail Brown squirrel, brown squirrel, Shake your bushy tail Crinkle up your little nose Put a nut between your toes Brown squirrel, brown squirrel, Shake your bushy tail Cute, right? And now, original verses three and four, as taught to nineteen 4th graders: (I swear I am not making this up.) “Dead Squirrel” Dead squirrel, dead squirrel Touched the power line Dead squirrel, dead squirrel Touched the power line Why he did it, no one knows, Barbecued his little toes. Dead squirrel, dead squirrel Touched the power line I think we’re going to have an excellent school year.
More About: Love , Teacher

Regarding that Inevitable Beginning of the School Year Fire Drill
2008-09-03 00:55:00
Hannah: Oh, by the way, I had a firedrill today. Sam: You did?? Hannah, did you freak out? Hannah: No, but I threw my library book up in the air. Sam: Last time I heard a fire alarm, you know what it felt like? Intense pressure in my lower intestine, a fast beating heart, and my brain felt like it was on fire.
More About: School , Fire , Year , Drill

Okay, So Let’s Just Pretend That Summer-Length Musical Interlude Neve
2008-08-24 03:12:00
I can’t stand the idea that August 2008 could go by completely and be left off of my Archives list over there ==>, so we’re just not going to let that happen, mm-kay? The kids go back to school in exactly one day, 11 hours, and 34 minutes (WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!) so I’ll try to get myself back into a groove and report back to blog-duty. I hope some of you will be kind enough to forgive me and pretend my long radio silence was all just a scary dream. That’s working for me, so let’s just go with it, shall we?
More About: Summer , Musical

“Geez, Kath, It’s Been A MONTH!”
2008-06-03 19:51:00
Whaddya want? I’m living in a hotel! *Thanks to Uncle Mike for the quote/complaint. Please note that all queries will be handled in the order received, that is to say, sometime next fall, maybe*
More About: Month

KDF’s Moving Guide
2008-05-05 05:32:00
Saturday, April 20th - Wednesday, the 23th: Pick up boxes at moving company, pack, swear, bruise self, pack more, clean things, make arrangements for three (count ‘em, three) moving day all-day playdates, make liberal use of garbage dump and Goodwill bins, throw broken toys away, pack, swear more, pack, lose ability to speak, pack more. Thursday, April 24th: Totally panic about a) lack of readiness for movers arrival (April 25th), and b) amount of stuff packed to go to hotel (= too much stuff.) Transport cats and children to hotel; check in. Unpack and organize; repack a lot of it. Friday, April 25th: Distribute children to friends’ houses, all except for Abby, whose friend spent the previous evening puking. Return to house at 7:30 AM to meet movers. Pack, clean, freak out excessively. Praise Abby for dealing so well with 10 hours of total boredom. Collect children. Return to hotel for 9:30 PM collapse. Saturday, April 26th: Return to house for final cleanup. Encourage k...
More About: Moving , Guide

Updates Coming Soon…
2008-05-02 05:19:00
All stuff in storage, kids adjusting, Sam at camp with his class for a week (departure day was the same day as closing) spring has sprung, finally…
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Oh, Well NOW I Get It
2008-04-20 03:51:00
Sam: Mom, don’t you think violence is funny? Me: No, Sam not at all. In fact, it really upsets me that you think that. Sam: Mom, girls like dolls. Boys like action figures. Girls like gentleness. Boys like violence. That’s why we have different bathrooms.

Why I Have Posted Only Seven Times In the Past Seven Weeks (aside from the
2008-04-18 20:28:00
Yes, the spring activities have run me ragged, and the kids have been sick, and I keep falling asleep on my living room floor at 9 PM, but mainly I’ve been absent because we’re moving. That’s right. Packing up, moving out, arranging for utility shut offs, address changes and the usual assortment of move-related activities, in addition to the facts that: 1) trying to sell a house in this real estate market is scary if not downright stupid 2) we’ll be living in a hotel for a while, and 3) oh, there’s no three. But those are all the items that I have not written about yet and likely won’t get back to, so let’s just move on shall we? Please bear with me while I try to pack up the house without boxing up any kids or cats. We’ll be moving it all to a secret and undisclosed location (please take note of my safety sense, my children, namely Abby) since this is, afterall, the internets. At least here, I won’t have to change my address.
More About: Past , Times , Weeks

Meat Update
2008-04-08 15:28:00
It’s trash day, and I just cleaned out my freezer, because for the first time in five years I remembered that I’ve been meaning to do that and I remembered it on trash day. I found some chicken breasts that expired in 2004. This begs a question, which you can answer by clicking here: View Poll |View Results Web Poll PoweredBy MicroPoll What? It was frozen! This has been your meat update.
More About: Meat , Update

Have You Ever Had One of Those Dreams Where You Wake Up, and You Know for C
2008-04-07 23:07:00
So, I go AWOL for a while, and I return to find that Wordpress has launched a whole new format on the “Write” page. Am I being punished? I know that it all looks the same out there to you readers, and I’m probably breaking some sort of unwritten bloggers’ rule by even bringing this up, but from in here? Downright trippy. No really, it’s fine, and I’m sure that in some way it’s even better than it used to be, but, well, some of us have issues with change, and I suppose I’m just really, in some very roundabout way, asking for sympathy, or a hug, or maybe a red lollipop. And holy cow, this is my 200th post.
More About: Dreams , Wake , Wake up

Happy Birthday to the ‘Rents
2008-03-28 14:13:00
While I was growing up, I thought that parents were required to share birthdays. That for any given person, spousal choice was limited to whomever was born on that same day. This is because my mom and dad share a birthday, so I just assumed it was a rule. Of course, I was also shocked — I mean, SHOCKED — to realize that Mom and Dad don’t know everything, that Santa, The Birthday Elf and The Easter Bunny are more “imaginary friend” than “guy who breaks into the house and leaves presents,” and that chocolate doesn’t grow on trees. Dammit. Happy Birthday, Mom and Dad! Here’s to life celebrations and many, many more.
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Fun with Editing Software, Part II
2008-03-19 16:04:00
The girls have upgraded their efforts from public access infomercials to music videos. This is entirely kid-produced. No help or interference from any adult. Computers are cool. And you have to love the toilet metaphor.
More About: Software , Editing , Part

Our Nation’s Future
2008-03-04 02:22:00
Here’s what happens when my two daughters and Abby’s friend Marisa figure out how to use the video function on my camera, Windows MovieMaker, and YouTube. They make commercials. They came up with the idea, wrote it, filmed, directed, acted, voiced-over, video-edited, wrote and typed in the subtitles, all on their own. My only function was to be totally impressed when they showed me the finished product. I love it when they get all creative. Way to go, girls! I’m dialing right now.
More About: Future , Nation

And Now, He’s Four for Four
2008-03-03 02:26:00
Sam and Hannah and I went to a train show a couple of weeks ago. Sam spotted a sign announcing the show, and reminded me daily as the date approached. Some kids like trains. Some like them a lot. But for Sam, train stuff — models/shows/museums/tracks/engines/pictu res/computer programs — trains are his Holy Grail. I have written previously about the boy’s incredible luck. He enters raffles, and he wins. He has entered three raffles in his 12 years, and has won 1) 70 bucks, 2) a half hour massage, and 3) a new bike. I worry that he is getting the wrong message about gambling, because so far, his experience has taught him that raffle tickets are a sure thing. Every time. As we entered the long awaited model train show, Sam saw a big sign exclaiming, “Raffle!” I cringed. Once again I cued up “the talk” — the one where I remind him that most of the time, when people enter raffles, or buy lottery tickets, or enter contests, they do not win....

Alive
2008-03-01 17:39:00
Yep, I really am. And I have lots of updating to do here, but lately, no time to do it. Stay tuned — I really will be back soon!
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UP TO THE MINUTE UPDATE TO YESTERDAY’S NEWS
2008-02-23 22:04:00
Thanks to those of you who understood yesterday’s excitement over my momentarily clean house. Here’s an update: The beds are made. No, but I did make pancakes. The floors are vacuumed. There are Goldfish crumbs and/or old, brown leaves in every room. The dust is dusted. Okay good, the dust is still dusted. The markers and marbles and train tracks and doll clothes and applesauce cups are picked up. Crap everywhere. And the laundry is done. Nope, the dirty clothes are piled high in my closet (I’ll never figure out how they generate laundry so fast) and my basement is littered with wet snowsuits. Ah, well. I enjoyed the fleeting moment.
More About: News , Update , Yesterday , Minute

BREAKING NEWS ALERT!
2008-02-22 19:17:00
… and also possibly a sign of the apocalypse, a blue moon, and ohmygod, Hell is so freaking cold right now… … … … My house. Is clean. The beds are made. The floors are vacuumed. The dust is dusted. The markers and marbles and train tracks and doll clothes and applesauce cups are picked up. And the laundry is done. This will not happen again, likely ever. So I thought I’d better share.
More About: News , Breaking News , Alert , Breaking

Unintentionally Existential Question of the Day, Thanks to Hannah, Who Has
2008-02-19 23:19:00
“Mom, if I threw up in the woods, would you have to clean it up?” Discuss.
More About: Question , Hannah , Existential

My Conversation with the McDonald’s Drive-Thru Person
2008-02-17 16:19:00
Me (ordering for Sam): I’d like a plain double hamburger with ketchup only, please. Drive -Thru Guy: I’m sorry, maam, we don’t make double hamburgers. Do you want to order something else instead? Me (after a long pause, trying hard not to sound dumbfounded and sarcastic): Could I please have a plain double cheeseburger with ketchup only, hold the cheese? Drive-Thru Guy: Oh. Okay, we can do that, I guess. Anything else? Me: No, thanks, that’ll do it.
More About: Person , Conversation

I’m Going to Mars!
2008-02-15 02:55:00
No, really! Abby’s class is going on a very cool field trip soon, and I found out today that I get to go along as a chaperone. This is, of course, a very serious responsibility, in that 1) Abby and her classmates will instruct me as to my space program duties, and 2) I’ll behave in such a way that scars Abby for life embarrasses her deeply makes my daughter proud. Truth is, I heard about this 5th grade field trip way back when Sam was in kindergarten, and I hoped I’d have the opportunity to get in on it with one of the kids. The Challenger Center isn’t open to the public — only to school groups. Last year, Sam’s class went without me (cue the violins, please) but today, Mr. O’C pulled my name from the class hat. I wonder if they’ll serve refreshments?
More About: Mars

Item #783 from Hannah’s Big Book of Stuff To Do with the Plastic Curl
2008-02-12 21:51:00
Why, have your mother put them in your own hair and make what would otherwise be a regular old school day extra festive, of course. And since we’re talking hair… For those days when you’re feeling extra sassy, a Hannah Montana wig can come in handy, especially when gathered into pigtails and paired with pink and burgundy soccer socks worn with your big sister’s Converse All-Stars.
More About: Book , Stuff , Item , Plastic

Winter Fun
2008-02-09 17:41:00
Hannah (after 30 minutes of unproductive kneeling on the bathroom floor while hugging the toilet): Mom, my knees hurt. I kind of want to stand up, but if I do, I know I’ll puke. Me: Hannah, if your knees hurt, then stand up. Hannah (moaning, but not moving): I have very mixed feelings right now.
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Hannah Unplugged
2008-02-01 15:47:00
From Hannah ’s Goofus and Gallant files (even though I was more of a Hidden Pictures kind of kid, myself:) And it’s not even TV Turnoff Week! Those three little kids on the couch on the left… anyone care to guess who’s who?
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