Why Would I Sleep?

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Tenuous
2011-02-01 18:29:00
I am happy to report that I have a strong, healthy heart. Which is good, because my Kryptonian blood wants to make it beat really fast, all the time now, so I’m glad I’m built to handle the extra work. My increased pulse is a symptom of myelofibrosis, and it frustrates me, as I have faithfully banked 4-6 cardio workouts per week for the past 15 years. My resting heart rate in recent months has been an acceptable (though rapid) 100 – 115 beats per minute, but at my appointment last week it was 130. My doctor sent me to a cardiologist, just to ensure that we don’t have anything new to worry about. He set me up for some tests, all the while reassuring me that it was all precautionary; not to worry, blah blah blah (“You haven’t satisfied your 2011 deductible yet, so that will be $1,078.41, please. Will you be writing a check?”) This morning, I went in for an EKO (see price tag, above) without really knowing what to expect, until I saw the ultr...

A Shift In the Wind
2011-01-26 17:24:00
So, it turns out that there was a reason my body started craving more sleep. I never in a million years thought this would turn into a cancer blog, although I suppose nobody really sees that one coming. Despite my 5-6 days per week workout habit, my belly started expanding last summer, even though I was losing jeans sizes at the same time. I also noticed some strange changes including a decreased energy level during my workouts and throughout the day, and sheet-soaking night sweats. I vaguely thought it was a combination of some kind of gastrointestinal problem and post-40 aging issues, so I ignored it for a while. Two x-rays, one CT scan, 16 vials of blood and a bone marrow biopsy later, I learned that I have a mixed myeloproliferative disorder, or post-polycythemia vera myelofibrosis. That combination of large words I had never heard before means that I have a rare blood disease that is trashing my bone marrow. The growing belly turned out to be the result of, as articulated in m...
More About: Wind

Time to Wake Up
2010-09-21 19:28:00
It is odd that only today I realized the irony of my blog’s name, “Why Would I Sleep?” given the fact that I essentially stopped writing when I started sleeping. I suppose that’s fairly obvious, but it honestly never occurred to me. While I am proud of the fact that I have had quite a few birthdays (44, *creak*) I fight the aging process with everything I have. I exercise obsessively and eat whole and healthy foods. (Full disclosure: I also love Mexican food, chocolate and the occasional margarita, but those things are allowable for both mental health reasons and overall deliciousness.) When I chose the title for my blog way back in 2006, it was easy, because virtually all of my writing occurred after 10PM and often crept into the wee hours of the morning. Oh sure, I was chronically exhausted, but at the same time, those quiet, creative hours fed my soul in a way that made it not only worthwhile to trade sleep for computer time, but necessary. Fast forward t...
More About: Time , Wake , Wake up

This Is Ridiculous
2009-11-28 14:43:00
Good lord, I haven’t posted anything since August? I need to get back in this habit. I miss it. But how to catch up? My life over the past year and a half, Cliff’s Notes style: I found a new town and fell in love with it. Built a house. Moved my family. Now have impossibly large children, aged 14, 12 and 10. Cut off 10 inches of hair. Had surgery and recovered from it, but now have to wear a %$#@ing medic alert bracelet for the rest of my days. Gained ten pounds, lost ten pounds. Got the kids acclimated to a new town, new climate and new schools. Adopted a dog. Recovered from a nasty case of pneumonia a month ago. Helped my youngest brother raise a whole lot of money for Parkinson’s Research in our dad’s honor, and then watched said brother run the New York Marathon. Became an aunt for the seventh time (welcome to the world, Finnley Hawk!) Haven’t met him yet. Need to fix that. In 18 months, have consumed approximately 1,628 cups of coffee. So here we ...

In Urgent Need of Decaf In School Supply Hell
2009-08-13 04:37:00
I am fully capable of helping my children muddle their way through middle school drama. I can comfortably engage in spirited conversation on a variety of important and trivial issues. I have a reasonably high IQ score. Why is it that hunting and gathering school supplies is so far outside my comfort zone? I know how to make a list. The stores I frequent even try to simplify things for me by setting up gigantic, idiot-proof Back-to-School Zones containing everything each of my three children might possibly need in support of their return to their schools’ freshly buffed hallways and dust-free chalkboards. But I H.A.T.E. this chore. I have had the grade-specific, administrator-approved, itemized lists all summer long. And yet I put it off as long as I possibly could because “MIssion School Supplies” gives me a headache and makes me whiny. Why? I’ll tell you why. In fact, I have a list. 1.) Because in each of my years as a Parent Who Is Required By Law to delive...
More About: Hell

I Found A Lump, Part III
2009-08-10 17:25:00
Click on either title to link back to: I Found A Lump, Part I I Found A Lump, Part II The knockout drugs worked this time. I remember the placement of the IV, oxygen mask, BP cuff, and pulse/ox monitor. I remember being wheeled into the operating room and moving myself from gurney to table, wishing I was anyplace else. I had a strangely casual conversation with the surgical nurses about my pulse and blood pressure, which were “surprisingly high for someone of my stature.” Ha. Yep, put me in a medical situation, and my normally healthy numbers hit the roof. Good news for me, according to the nurses — high blood pressure meant that they could give me more of The Good Drugs since my body would metabolize them quickly. I did not argue! I don’t remember getting drowsy. I anticipated heavy eyelids and that dreamlike “I know what’s happening, but I don’t care” feeling — I have always been aware during sedated surgery, and remember much...

I Found A Lump, Part II
2009-08-06 17:37:00
Click on either title to link to: I Found A Lump, Part I I Found A Lump, Part III “Are you sure you have something scheduled here today?“ Anxiety. Frustration. Rage! Lady, don’t make me come over there. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight, and I REALLY don’t want to be here, and you’re going to make me late for my surgical prep because you can’t find my name in your &%#$ing computer? But what I really said, after chuckling nervously, was, “Yes, ma’am, I’m sure.” I would have paid big bucks for a cup of coffee. I usually start my day with a bowl of oatmeal or an egg white omelette with sauteed veggies and cheddar, and God help the poor fool who gets between me and my favorite extra-large coffee cup. So while I knew I would survive a couple of hungry hours before my 11:00 AM surgical start time, I was more than a little concerned about the possibility of caffeine-deprivation and nerves combining a...

I Found A Lump
2009-08-05 00:45:00
It’s not my first… this one makes number five since I started growing fibroadenomas in 1994, if you’re keeping score, which I suppose I am. Lumps suck. Lumps are scary, not supposed to be there, infuriating, disempowering and defeminizing. In my case, so far, they have all come through pathology with labels that are always somewhat “unique,” but also, thankfully, always something other than cancer. But no matter how much my body seems determined to make ambulatory surgery with local anesthesia and IV sedation a hobby, I have never gotten used to it. My last lump adventure was in 2005. It was a seven appointments long, high-stress, multiple-biopsied extravaganza which culminated in the surgical removal of two “areas of concern.” In the end, my “atypical apocrine-like cells” were passed around to several pathologists at two different teaching hospitals, and ultimately labeled as indeterminate and rare, but most likely benign anom...

Old Favorites, Part V: I’m Not Kidding, I’m Asking Him for Lott
2009-04-02 16:34:00
In honor of World Autism Awareness Day, I’m reposting one of my favorite stories about my son, Sam. While there is nothing about this post that is specifically about autism, it’s still an autism post as his diagnosis is a big part of what makes Sam… Sam. There is far more to him than his neurological profile, but there’s no denying that autism is an integral part of his big, beautiful, quirky, brilliant personality. This was originally published December 12, 2007. Since then, Sam has won a Harry Potter toy train (Train Show Raffle in our former hometown,) a $10 Target Gift Certificate (drawing at school in which three students out of 500 won a prize) and a sweet Lionel Starter Model Train Layout (Raffle Prize at a Train Expo two weeks ago.) Read more Sam posts by clicking the word “Autism” under the “Categories” tab on the right. Some of you who read here regularly may remember that my son, Sam, has excellent luck. Unbelievable, reall...
More About: Kidding , Part

Old Favorites Part IV: Breaking 2nd Grade News
2009-03-17 04:44:00
This one is for Norah, as it addresses my youngest daughter’s entry into the world of theater. Hannah is currently in “crunchtime” rehearsals for “Alice in Wonderland,” which means that her rehearsal hours per week really should be netting her vacation time and health insurance. “Alice” will be performed during the first week of April. Hannah is playing the role of the Three of Clubs, but she has all lines memorized for all characters — I’m really not kidding — and is prepared to step in as an understudy for anyone at all, should it be necessary. This was originally posted on April 15, 2007. Hannah announced early last week that her class will be producing a play, to be performed at the end of the school year. They chose “Charlotte’s Web,” and she expressed interest in one of the lead roles — the part of Wilbur. As the week progressed, Hannah’s desire to be Wilbur — to own the pig &mdash...
More About: News , Part

Do We Dare to Be… Hopeful?
2009-01-18 19:04:00
I am a little bit obsessed with all the updates about last Thursday’s so called “Miracle on the Hudson.” I realize I’m not alone in this. A major news story free of doom and gloom? (Unless, of course, you happen to be a goose.) A gloriously happy ending? Given the current state of the world, the sheer optimism of this story is as shocking as it is uplifting. Everything about the conclusion of US Air Flight 1549 is incredible. Stranger than fiction. The plane didn’t break apart. It didn’t flip over in the water. Nothing exploded. Nobody died on impact. The plane didn’t sink. Nobody drowned. If a plane crash-landed in a movie like this flight actually did land on Thursday (see the video in the newslink above) the audience would bust out laughing at its implausibility. It just doesn’t happen that way. We see the harrowing crash scenes in movies like Castaway, or recall the circumstances of other plane crashes in years past, and know t...
More About: Hopeful , Dare

Uh Oh
2008-11-24 03:42:00
My laptop has had electrical “issues” for months. I always have to nudge the plug back and forth, and sometimes I even prop the plug up in one direction or another just to convince the danged thing to charge. But still, I’ve managed to get it to work, most days. But today, my poor, stubborn computer started smoking, and I don’t think Nicorette’s gonna go do us much good. Burning-wire-scented, little curls of smoke, right at the spot where the plug goes in. Not good. UPDATE AS OF DECEMBER 2: Yep, it died. Replacement computer is on the way, but seems to have been sent via Pony Express. Trying to stay strong. *sniff*

Huh
2008-11-22 17:32:00
Sometimes strange things happen on my stats page, but I can usually figure out why. But I sit here completely stumped as to what seismic event caused this here blog to receive 456 hits yesterday. No clue. Anyone? Bueller?

Someone Slept Through Science Class
2008-11-13 17:26:00
…which was, unfortunately for her, a prerequisite to meaningful membership in The Environmental Activists’ Club.
More About: Science , Class

36
2008-11-12 21:56:00
That’s how many unpublished drafts I have lurking in my files. And after a careful review, I have determined that exactly (wait for it) — none of them — have qualities of publishablenessicosity, as they pertain to past events, times, and places. Hmph!! Gotta get blogging again. I may drag a few oldies out from my archives along the way, so please bear with me. Just trying to restart the engine, and it may take a little tinkering some medication a few whacks on the head to get me restarted.

Over
2008-11-06 18:19:00
*breathes* *moves on*

I’m So Looking Forward to November 5th
2008-10-27 16:44:00
I resisted writing this here, as I didn’t really want my very first post after a month of silence to be a rant. However, it’s my blog, dammit, so I’m going to do it anyway. Warning: no humor here! This started as a comment on a friend’s blog. Don’t ever let it be said that I’m not famous for repeating myself (over and over.) Last week, I received an email from one of my best friends from college. It was a copied and pasted, forwarded political rant, based on — oh, how shall I put this — internet-rumor-hate-mongering-xenophobic bullshit, designed to prey upon people’s most basic fears. My issue with my friend is not about her choice of candidate. This kind of crap does not discriminate by party. Everyone gets a vote, and I am always curious to hear and understand opinions and points of view, particularly if they differ from my own. I get frustrated when people fall prey to and base their opinions on either party’s campaign ...
More About: November , November 5th , Forward

Why I Love Hannah’s 4th Grade Teacher
2008-09-18 15:53:00
I knew I liked Hannah ’s teacher when she came home singing the following song: “Brown Squirrel” (First and second verse, as taught to Hannah and her classmates:) Brown squirrel, brown squirrel, Shake your bushy tail Brown squirrel, brown squirrel, Shake your bushy tail Crinkle up your little nose Put a nut between your toes Brown squirrel, brown squirrel, Shake your bushy tail Cute, right? And now, original verses three and four, as taught to nineteen 4th graders: (I swear I am not making this up.) “Dead Squirrel” Dead squirrel, dead squirrel Touched the power line Dead squirrel, dead squirrel Touched the power line Why he did it, no one knows, Barbecued his little toes. Dead squirrel, dead squirrel Touched the power line I think we’re going to have an excellent school year.
More About: Love , Teacher

Regarding that Inevitable Beginning of the School Year Fire Drill
2008-09-03 00:55:00
Hannah: Oh, by the way, I had a firedrill today. Sam: You did?? Hannah, did you freak out? Hannah: No, but I threw my library book up in the air. Sam: Last time I heard a fire alarm, you know what it felt like? Intense pressure in my lower intestine, a fast beating heart, and my brain felt like it was on fire.
More About: School , Fire , Year , Drill

Okay, So Let’s Just Pretend That Summer-Length Musical Interlude Neve
2008-08-24 03:12:00
I can’t stand the idea that August 2008 could go by completely and be left off of my Archives list over there ==>, so we’re just not going to let that happen, mm-kay? The kids go back to school in exactly one day, 11 hours, and 34 minutes (WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!) so I’ll try to get myself back into a groove and report back to blog-duty. I hope some of you will be kind enough to forgive me and pretend my long radio silence was all just a scary dream. That’s working for me, so let’s just go with it, shall we?
More About: Summer , Musical

“Geez, Kath, It’s Been A MONTH!”
2008-06-03 19:51:00
Whaddya want? I’m living in a hotel! *Thanks to Uncle Mike for the quote/complaint. Please note that all queries will be handled in the order received, that is to say, sometime next fall, maybe*
More About: Month

KDF’s Moving Guide
2008-05-05 05:32:00
Saturday, April 20th - Wednesday, the 23th: Pick up boxes at moving company, pack, swear, bruise self, pack more, clean things, make arrangements for three (count ‘em, three) moving day all-day playdates, make liberal use of garbage dump and Goodwill bins, throw broken toys away, pack, swear more, pack, lose ability to speak, pack more. Thursday, April 24th: Totally panic about a) lack of readiness for movers arrival (April 25th), and b) amount of stuff packed to go to hotel (= too much stuff.) Transport cats and children to hotel; check in. Unpack and organize; repack a lot of it. Friday, April 25th: Distribute children to friends’ houses, all except for Abby, whose friend spent the previous evening puking. Return to house at 7:30 AM to meet movers. Pack, clean, freak out excessively. Praise Abby for dealing so well with 10 hours of total boredom. Collect children. Return to hotel for 9:30 PM collapse. Saturday, April 26th: Return to house for final cleanup. Encourage k...
More About: Moving , Guide

Updates Coming Soon…
2008-05-02 05:19:00
All stuff in storage, kids adjusting, Sam at camp with his class for a week (departure day was the same day as closing) spring has sprung, finally…
More About: Updates

Oh, Well NOW I Get It
2008-04-20 03:51:00
Sam: Mom, don’t you think violence is funny? Me: No, Sam not at all. In fact, it really upsets me that you think that. Sam: Mom, girls like dolls. Boys like action figures. Girls like gentleness. Boys like violence. That’s why we have different bathrooms.

Why I Have Posted Only Seven Times In the Past Seven Weeks (aside from the
2008-04-18 20:28:00
Yes, the spring activities have run me ragged, and the kids have been sick, and I keep falling asleep on my living room floor at 9 PM, but mainly I’ve been absent because we’re moving. That’s right. Packing up, moving out, arranging for utility shut offs, address changes and the usual assortment of move-related activities, in addition to the facts that: 1) trying to sell a house in this real estate market is scary if not downright stupid 2) we’ll be living in a hotel for a while, and 3) oh, there’s no three. But those are all the items that I have not written about yet and likely won’t get back to, so let’s just move on shall we? Please bear with me while I try to pack up the house without boxing up any kids or cats. We’ll be moving it all to a secret and undisclosed location (please take note of my safety sense, my children, namely Abby) since this is, afterall, the internets. At least here, I won’t have to change my address.
More About: Past , Times , Weeks

Meat Update
2008-04-08 15:28:00
It’s trash day, and I just cleaned out my freezer, because for the first time in five years I remembered that I’ve been meaning to do that and I remembered it on trash day. I found some chicken breasts that expired in 2004. This begs a question, which you can answer by clicking here: View Poll |View Results Web Poll PoweredBy MicroPoll What? It was frozen! This has been your meat update.
More About: Meat , Update

Have You Ever Had One of Those Dreams Where You Wake Up, and You Know for C
2008-04-07 23:07:00
So, I go AWOL for a while, and I return to find that Wordpress has launched a whole new format on the “Write” page. Am I being punished? I know that it all looks the same out there to you readers, and I’m probably breaking some sort of unwritten bloggers’ rule by even bringing this up, but from in here? Downright trippy. No really, it’s fine, and I’m sure that in some way it’s even better than it used to be, but, well, some of us have issues with change, and I suppose I’m just really, in some very roundabout way, asking for sympathy, or a hug, or maybe a red lollipop. And holy cow, this is my 200th post.
More About: Dreams , Wake , Wake up

Happy Birthday to the ‘Rents
2008-03-28 14:13:00
While I was growing up, I thought that parents were required to share birthdays. That for any given person, spousal choice was limited to whomever was born on that same day. This is because my mom and dad share a birthday, so I just assumed it was a rule. Of course, I was also shocked — I mean, SHOCKED — to realize that Mom and Dad don’t know everything, that Santa, The Birthday Elf and The Easter Bunny are more “imaginary friend” than “guy who breaks into the house and leaves presents,” and that chocolate doesn’t grow on trees. Dammit. Happy Birthday, Mom and Dad! Here’s to life celebrations and many, many more.
More About: Happy Birthday

Fun with Editing Software, Part II
2008-03-19 16:04:00
The girls have upgraded their efforts from public access infomercials to music videos. This is entirely kid-produced. No help or interference from any adult. Computers are cool. And you have to love the toilet metaphor.
More About: Software , Editing , Part

Our Nation’s Future
2008-03-04 02:22:00
Here’s what happens when my two daughters and Abby’s friend Marisa figure out how to use the video function on my camera, Windows MovieMaker, and YouTube. They make commercials. They came up with the idea, wrote it, filmed, directed, acted, voiced-over, video-edited, wrote and typed in the subtitles, all on their own. My only function was to be totally impressed when they showed me the finished product. I love it when they get all creative. Way to go, girls! I’m dialing right now.
More About: Future , Nation