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Jeremiah Wright and Animal House
2008-04-29 16:15:00
By Cameron ClarkWho knew Reverend Jeremiah Wright was such a great fan of the "White American" comedy classics like National Lampoon's Animal House ? Reverend Wright has obviously been studying the subtle humor and undertones of this movie for quite some time, as the expanded version of the movie's drollery has made its way into his sermons and speeches. For example, when Wright said, "In the 21st century, white America got a wake-up call after 9/11/01. White America and the western world came to realize that people of color had not gone away, faded into the woodwork or just ?disappeared? as the Great White West kept on its merry way of ignoring black concerns," he was just expounding on Flounder's line: "The Negroes stole our dates!" Here's a short list of Reverend Wright's comedic musings that have been misinterpreted:"We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye."- Jeremiah WrightThi...

Alan's Mock "Stuff" Draft
2008-04-24 22:48:00
By Alan GableWith the NFL Draft (which honestly is the only draft worth airing on a national media scale) bearing down on us with great pomp and circumstance, I submit my mock draft of some random stuff I like. We'll go with ten because I like the Metric system.10. Metric System - The antiquated English measurement system is nonsensical from both mathematical and functional standpoints. We should do away with it. The basic framework of the metric system working in multiples of 10 instead of 12 is the main component of its awesomeness and deals a devastating blow to its Anglican step-brother.9. Golf - This is the most frustrating game ever devised by any dude. However, there is only one player on Earth good enough to get angry when he hits a bad shot. His name is Tiger Woods, and there will never be anyone like him. Everyone else should reserve themselves to the idea that poor shots happen. Golf is the only major sport where the average fan can still play on a regular basis...
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Congressional BcS
2008-04-24 13:00:00
by Nathan McIntyreIn a continued thought from Cameron's post yesterday, we certainly do know how to complicate simple goodness do we not?I'm no fan of the BCS of College football. Things could be so much more simple if we just kept it down home cuz and finished the season playoff style. Back before the telestrator, College football was a glorious parade of simple ideals and valor. Today, you can play the game on your Playstation before the actual gridiron, televise it on ESPN, and call it a pregame show.The BCS is the latest effort to simplify the end result of each season, and naturally, each year someone feels a little ripped off. With a new low, enter the whiners.At the behest of three University Presidents, Congress is now considering an investigation into whether or not the BCS violates federal anti-trust law. The series, being a contract between independent conferences is nothing remotely of the sort, however these three school representatives feel that wasting taxpayer doll...

The Cure All
2008-04-23 17:12:00
By Cameron ClarkHow often do we make life a little more complicated than it actually is? How often do minor problems turn into major crises, or small ruffles in our structured lives become massive emergencies? All too often I would imagine. Working ourselves into a frenzy over life's curb balls might be the most counter-productive thing we do in our unhealthy modernity. As Americans, we are over-worked, out-of-shape, and overwhelmingly stressed. No wonder we have such violence in our society. Coming into this week I had a few items on the "To Do" list I felt I absolutely "needed" to get done. It's true these things are important, but the fabric of the universe won't unravel if they are accomplished outside the parameters of my pre-determined methodology and time-table. I don't think I was feeling that way a couple of days ago.As my family is in the process of moving, we have spent the last few days house hunting. When I woke up on Monday, I could feel my veins constricting and ...
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I'm Just Bitter...Hanging on to My Guns and God
2008-04-17 13:00:00
By Nathan McIntyreI believe in the Bible. I believe that it is the inspired word of God. Perhaps my definition of inspired will differ from yours, nevertheless, it's a good read.Somewhere in between the desert themed Vacation Bible School and five loaves on a flannel graph there is a fabulous passage noting "that from the wellsprings of the heart, the mouth speaks." Basically, it says to keep talking. We'll figure you out eventually.Wholly true for Barack Obama.Speaking to a closed fundraiser in San Francisco, California, last week, Obama said decades of lost jobs and unfulfilled promises from Washington have left some Pennsylvanians "bitter" and clinging "to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."Apparently Sen. Obama has never read any Dale Carnegie, because good Mr. Carnegie took issue with Obama from the get-go.The question was asked why so many in the "heartland"...
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Hostile Takeover...
2008-04-16 22:04:00
by Nicole McIntyreAs I have mentioned on the Porch previously, I like to peruse the online edition of my home paper every once and while. Usually it's to see who's gotten married, had babies, or died. During basketball season I check to see how the Ole Alma Mater is doing, or the occasional shot at Mark the Spot. Lately I've been a little more interested, since the Harrison City Council has been looking into the idea of annexation.I'm not a huge fan of a city's forced annexation on the surrounding populous. When we lived in Murfreesboro, the city itself seemed to be bent on taking over the world. Or at least Rutherford County. The main reason: the city was in debt and wanted the tax revenue. The people who lived in the proposed area had no say and all they would get out of the deal was higher taxes. Sounds like a winner. Of course, since the homeowners had no vote, they were annexed. It only took a few days for the city to get the new sign up proclaiming the area as the city li...
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Barack, Abortion, and Punishment
2008-04-15 21:12:00
Isn't it amazing how the left will cheerfully defend the collective rights of the many while solely focusing in only one policy on the individual's "right to choose?" Perhaps if the unborn paid taxes they wouldn't be so quick to allow their murders?If he didn't lose you at his little ditty on defense, then perhaps you can wash yourself of Obama here as he describes a baby as "punishment." I don't know. This kind of talk really makes it hard for me to vote for Obama. Who am I though? Just a freedom loving taxpayer, and parent....and can anyone explain to me how STD's are prevented by abortion?
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Illegal Immigration, Taxes, and Statistics
2008-04-14 15:20:00
By Cameron ClarkAn article about undocumented workers and their tax burden appeared in Friday's Tennessean. Although it's good to see some illegal immigrants pay their share of taxes (plus a little more), I still can't help but have a problem with this whole botheration perpetuated on our southern and northern borders. Please allow me to display my libertarian philosophies for those of you who think we have "been seduced by the dark side."Here are some facts the article conveniently omits when attempting to state the case for uncontrolled immigration as a fiscal positive:-Illegal immigrants consume almost three times as much in social services as they are estimated to pay in state and federal taxes (for those that pay taxes) to the tune of $2,300 per worker, as opposed to the $7,700 each consumes, regardless of their tax burden, or lack thereof. However, it has been estimated that amnesty for illegals could double the cost of socialization. (U.S. Congressional Budget Office) {The...
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Ignorace + Hate= Alicia Keys???
2008-04-14 03:07:00
Hard to believe people actually believe this kind of stuff. Worse yet, some other poor souls actually listen to the opinion of entertainers and regard them as fact.
More About: Alicia Keys , Hate , Alicia , Keys

So Is THIS Socialism?
2008-04-11 22:59:00
by Nathan McIntyreFor those of you thinking I've been a little paranoid lately over a President Obama, check out this little snip from Mark Rose (courtesy of TennesseeFree.com). Enjoy, er, shudder."Barack Obama has written in his autobiography that he organized his life around the ideals imparted by his Kenyan father, Barak H. Obama, a Harvard-trained economist. So what were those ideals?PrestoPundit has found a 1965 paper written by Obama's father, in which he advocates:- 100% taxation- communal farms / the elimination of private farming- the nationalization of businesses owned by "Europeans" and "Asians".- "active" measures to bring about a classless society Yikes! This is right out of Marxism/Leninism. It's not watered-down socialism. It IS socialism -- in its purest form."So is Obama a socialist?
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Bold Predictions
2008-04-11 12:59:00
By Nathan McIntyreI am not a huge baseball fan. It's a looooong season and I'm no mathematician. Stats often bore me. However, I do love me some Atlanta Braves baseball. I grew up watching the only good thing about Atlanta suffer through the '80s, and finally get that well-deserved respite in the '90s and '00s. They are a proud franchise. I love 'em.Jayson Stark has a great little piece (a bit old but still a good one) on his bold prediction. Check it out."You know, you get to my time frame, and there's kind of a desperation," Smoltz said. "If I had to write my perfect scenario -- along with Tommy and Chipper, who have been here and endured it the most -- I think it would be to just kick off the next generation with guys who are starting their run. I'd like to say, 'I was along for the ride, I got one more sweet taste of it, and now it's their chance to run off a string of championships.' ... Nice.
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Wandering Along
2008-04-10 15:00:00
by Nathan McIntyreI've gotten some emails and comments recently that first of all, I thought I'd take a moment to address. It seems that some of you fair people out there believe that I, or Cameron have "gone off the deep end," or "drank the kool-aid" of the left. I can assure you this is not true. My dear Conservative friends, how jaded and blunt you have become. How little some of you read. How much talk radio you digest. How Bush's gaggle of "yes men" has dulled your wit.If any of us here on the Porch have seemed to and fro over the issues, it's only because we are being honest. Simply put, there are issues of which Barack Obama has very clearly communicated, and quite frankly, at some points I agree. There are many points of contention as well. It is not because I am unstable, or "too weakminded" as one called us. Rather, it is because I am human, and fully equipped with a heart and brain.The two are searching for a home amongst the rubble of the American political landscape...
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The Toddler Tube
2008-04-09 20:01:00
by Nicole McIntyre As the parent of a toddler, I've been fighting the seemingly losing TV battle. In an effort for my kid to talk more, the TV is hardly on. The fact that my kid is virtually mute doesn't help. A couple times a week I may turn on a Baby Einstein for him, but he's such a zombie that I always feel sort of guilty. Aren't I supposed to be interacting with him instead of letting a big electronic box do it? There's tons of research out there saying that TV is detrimental...sort of. There are those that say your child's attention span will be warped because their TV watching has rewired their brains. Studies that say your kid will become "aggressive." I would say that my generation watched TV with no ill-effects, but with ADD on the rise I really can't. So the fact that my toddler might actually benefit from some TV time sort of snuck up on me. The Bug is way into imitating people right now. (Except in speech. A herd of wild horses can't d...
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McCain On the Issues
2008-04-08 18:46:00
By Cameron ClarkNow that we've thoroughly covered Barack Obama, let's do the same to Sen. McCain . I have made some colorful comments as to not bore you to death should you choose to peruse this article; under no circumstances should my comments or my choice of legislation covered be interpreted as my opinion on Senator McCain or his policies. Simply using the legislation to decipher "conservative" or "liberal" tendencies. John Sidney McCain III (pictured left from his guest appearance on Hawaii 5-0) has the reputation for being a "maverick", although I didn't know being confused and a career politician qualified for "maverick" status. Since securing the nomination, McCain has been doing his level best to become the "conservative" answer to whomever the democrats will nominate. Let's take a thorough look at his record, using the roll call from Project Vote Smart, and see how he measures up.Abortion- He fits the classic example of conservatism on this issue. He has voted to ban it...
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Ok, now he's just scaring the crap out of me...
2008-04-08 03:19:00
By Cameron ClarkIf you're on the fence on Obama (or squarely in his column for that matter), here's a policy that will make you want to change your name and hide under a sofa.Have a great Monday evening!
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The Obama Counter
2008-04-04 15:55:00
By Alan M. GableThis is a response by Alan Gable during the course of a series of emails on the topic. It is insightful, intelligent, and a very tangible criticism of Obama 's policies and his abilities to lead this country in the direction he has promised. Here it is, only edited for personal statements that have no bearing on the political thought:I don?t hate Obama (pictured upper left corner, during in his "Shaft" groove). In fact, I have been more vocal in my disdain for that thing from Arizona than for any of the Democratic schmucks. However, John McCain would be better, or at least less destructive, than Barrack Obama. Here are some reasons:1. Obama treats national security and federal taxation like a couple of the Barbie Dolls he no doubt played with as a child in Hawaii. In my humble opinion, these are the 2 things any President must take very seriously. His immediate withdrawal from the middle east will never bring any type of lasting peace; it will only change this ...
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My Own Personal Struggle With Barack Obama
2008-04-03 13:00:00
--Nathan McIntyreIt's a cool April afternoon as I sit here writing to you on my own porch. You'll likely read this Thursday morning, so it's not exactly "coming at ya live." Programming admissions aside, I'll preface all I'm now about to say with a few more insights.As I write I feel incredibly conflicted. Each one of us carries within us a heart, and mind, and the two of mine are at war. Pardon me if this piece feels like a running mental dialogue. It's what I'm in the mood for, and it is my lil nook o'the web after all.It seems like the Front Porch lately has been more like Barack Obama 's back patio, with much being written about the Illisnois senator's candidacy for the White House. Indeed, he is a enigmatic character; one which sets my passion and intellect at conflict with one another. As many of you know, I supported Ron Paul's libertarian candidacy for the past year, and improbable as it was I believed in him. Many of you did too, and with the same fervor at which ...
More About: Personal , Barak Obama

The Political Bluhs
2008-04-02 16:32:00
by Nicole McIntyreIt seems that this "political season" has been too long already, and there are still seven more months to go. Sigh. I try to be a responsible citizen and stay informed, but it seems like there hasn't been any new information in months. Who was shocked/surprised/amazed when John McCain became the obvious Republican candidate? Or that the Democrats are still battling it out between their two Golden Children, even though that seems pretty set in stone. Thus far I've done my part, supporting my candidate and voting in my state's primary. But my candidate isn't making it to the big dance. The current options represent very few of my beliefs and views. What's a girl to do?I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see over the next few months. Bide my time and see what my choices end up being, if they are even choices at all. The last presidential election I had to choose between the lesser of two evils, and we see where that got us. I may see a write in for Fred ...
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Christianity, Libertarianism, and Obama
2008-04-02 01:05:00
By Cameron ClarkI recently fielded a question from a very old friend on some ideologies and actions of mine that seem, at first glance, to be incongruent. When it was coupled with a heated and un-illustrious exchange (on my part) on The Porch, I found I needed to address it with my final post here. I was asked how I could be educated in Christian institutions, hold a "libertarian" platform, and support Barack Obama for President. Here is my reply:"That's a VERY good question!.....(omitted) as I was educated in some seriously conservative Christian schools, I witnessed some practices and attitudes that I believe are thoroughly un-Christian. Because of these mis-applied Christian ideologies, I think the establishment clause in the 1st amendment needs to be heavily enforced to keep the varying interpretations of scripture far away from the laws that govern this nation. I think separating church and state is the only way to keep all citizens, and Churches, of this nation free.As a libe...
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Words Worth Hearing
2008-03-28 02:40:00
By Cameron ClarkI think it is important for those of us engaged and interested in the gladiatorial arena of politics to take the time to listen to and scrutinize more than just the simple summations made by Fox News, CNN, or the local paper when it comes to our candidates. We should diligently measure and examine the candidates for all offices, whether local or federal, in order to know if their words, their ideas, and their actions are things we would support with our vote. Senator Barack Obama was given a "7-10 split" to knock-down when he addressed the comments of his former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright. After listening to every word he had to say on the subject, I truly believe Sen. Obama met the challenge and conquered the task with authority. Just because I love Sen. Obama's oratory doesn't mean I agree with all of his policies. I may only agree with 25% of his vast platform, but I am starting to think that may be enough to be part of a needed change; To be part of a movemen...
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"Long Legged Mack Daddy?" Huh?
2008-03-27 19:47:00
I'll let Ser8d say the rest.Um...wow.The thing that gets me is how can anyone embrace the Revs. Jeremiah Wright OR this guy?_____________________________________ _____ Obama is "A Long -Legged Mack Daddy !" -- Reverend James David Manning, Ph.D. From today's Nashville City Paper: Reverend T.J. Graham, midday talk show host at WVOL-1470AM, a Nashville radio station with a primarily black audience, had as a guest Rev. James David Manning, the pastor of Harlem's Atlah Worldwide Church.In the article, Rev. Graham described Rev. Manning as 'controversial'... ?This man has been trashing Barack Obama in a fashion that makes what the Rev. Jeremiah Wright said sound mild,? Graham said of Manning. ?He?s called Obama?s mother trash, and is on the record as saying any black man who hasn?t been in jail can?t be trusted. He?s downing him in very specific and vicious language.? So, being charitable and cautious, I searched the web for information on Rev. Dr...
More About: Barak Obama

The Obama Religion...Can I get a witnayasss!
2008-03-27 13:52:00
After watching the following video dedicating souls to the Obama candidacy, I thought I'd shoot a couple of videos that I found especially horrify- um, interesting. What do you think? Are we building a religion? (An awesome song by the way...dig it even more now)He's all about celebrity endorsement ain't he?
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How Barack Obama is Lining Up for a November Loss
2008-03-24 17:27:00
By Cameron ClarkAlthough it seems Illinois Senator Barack Obama is headed for the Democratic Presidential nomination this summer, the latest and greatest detritus being spewed from the pulpit at the Trinity United Church of Christ will, in all likelihood, cost Obama the Presidency. How might that happen?The "Independents" so coveted by both major parties this fall are made up of the nation's most ignored political faction, the angry white man. These voters are enraged and alienated every time CNN runs a headline on Obama's church affiliation and their comparisons to the United States government as the Klu Klux Klan or Al-Qaeda. Whenever that happens, a couple thousand independents roll their eyes and commit their time, money, and vote to beating an Obama candidacy. The TUCC is fond of recording and selling their sermons on DVD, and I would imagine a copy of every sermon available for purchase has been bought and sent to Arlington, Virginia (Home of the Republican National Headqua...
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Weekly Wednesday Top 10
2008-03-19 16:49:00
I like a good news story, especially when it bears an absurd or interesting headline. Here's what's in the news today. Keep in mind that all of these are from "reputable" sources, and not such infamous outlets as "The Onion" and the like. 10. Australian Man Gunned Down in Driveway by Killer Robot- Fox9. Facebook cheater won't be expelled from school- CNN8. Man Auctions His Life on Ebay- CNN7. Poll: 7 in 10 Think Iraq War is Hurting Economy- CNN6. Spitzer escort's "Girls Gone Wild" videos surface- CNN5. Ebay Pulled Illinois-Shape Frosted Flake- Fox 4. Hospital Admits Surgeon Removed Wrong Kidney- Fox3. Key to Acceptance: Stop Self-Loathing- CNN2. Woman Goes For Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead- Fox1. Texas Woman Sues American Airlines After Flight Turns X-Rated- FoxHave a great Wednesday !
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Home Is Where The Sauce Is
2008-03-17 12:05:00
--Nathan McIntyre"So do you like barbecue?"Casey stood behind the hotel front desk trying to help as the wife and I debated on where to go for the evening's meal. We had just gotten out of the truck, having finished unloading only a few minutes previously. "Sure. We like barbecue." My wife responded in her typical slight Southern twang."There's this little place down King Street called um, 'Jim 'n Nick's' I think. It's good stuff."We know Jim n' Nicks," I responded with a chuckle.For those of you out of the loop Jim n' Nicks is a Birmingham founded family restaurant that specializes in all things tasty. From pulled pork to roasted turkey, and the Pimento-cheese slathered John T burger to the Pig in the Garden salad, you're sure to find something good, and/or good for you (health nut here) at Jim N' Nicks.We saw the neon-lit pig reflecting off the semi-posh shop windows lining the Charleston evening. As we walked in, the familiar aromas of home met our palates and we quick...
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Taking an (almost) break...
2008-03-15 22:46:00
Those of you who know me are aware of my love for all things fitness. I am especially a fan of the martial arts. You learn much about your body and life while taking part in the sport and every moment presents a new challenge to conquer. I dig it.You especially learn a great deal about yourself when you're flying through the air. There's a special "discovery" shall we say about one's self that comes when you realize that you, perhaps, underestimated a jump. It's that special moment that you share with a mat as your face plants into it and every tendon in your foot screams "we don't go that way."Special.That's right folks, yours truly is walking with quite the limp as we head off into vacation land this week. The wife, myself, and my new walking cane are all looking forward to a relaxing week on the Carolina coast.I plan to be uploading pictures and a few posts as we can, but if we do not get the chance...Have a great week!
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Justice Thomas and the Senate Judiciary Committee
2008-03-14 14:28:00
By Alan GableIt is rare that a biographical memoir type book touches me. These reads are always interesting but they never go deep enough to draw out any type of real life change. Clarence Thomas 's "My Grandfather's Son" strays from this trend. I've always liked Justice Thomas because he is a conservative and thinks for himself (a trait I find incredibly admirable and woefully rare) and I never thought he got a fair shake with that whole Anita Hill thing. Her accusations were obvious fabrications unsubstantiated by anything that could be considered truthful. She was a puppet. I digress.Thomas brings his reader through his upbringing in rural Georgia, through his times at Yale Law School and finishes with the "hi-tech lynching" known as Senate confirmation. Unlike me, the guy had to fight for everything he's ever had and the disdain shown to him at his confirmation by "white liberal senators" was horrifying. Things like that shouldn't happen in America. Terrible things ...
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When McClintobama Ain't Doing It For Ya
2008-03-13 12:00:00
--Nathan McIntyreSo have you been looking at the Presidential lunch menu thinking the only thing being served up was a fat, juicy McClintobama? Fear not my friends. Just in time for the general election yours truly brings you all the "lesser known" executive candidates. Don't ever say there's no suitable options for the highest office in the land.Among many others, here are some of the highlights of the other side of the menu. Order wisely.Elaine Brown: Little else is known about this Green Party diva except that she loves saving the planet, and sporting those Thundercat eyes.Hooooo! Or how about Jacques Yves 'Chief Jack' Boulerice? This Native American Party candidate has stepkids all over, so he's all about benevolence. His career highlights include running his own auto parts store in California, and sporting his Kearny High School diploma. Class of '74 baby! Go Cardinals!Jon A. "The Stache" Greenspon: He don't need no party affiliation, 'cause he's got that 3.5 from Vict...
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Political Fabric Softener?
2008-03-12 19:53:00
by Nicole McIntyreA few weeks ago my huge bottle of Downy that I had bought at Sam's finally ran out. Since I didn't see a Sam's run in my near future, I decided to pick up a bottle when I was at the grocery store. We've been "Downy and Tide People" as long as I can remember. The Tide part changed when I went to college and started buying my own detergent. I just couldn't forsake my Downy. I had bought into the propaganda that said it was the best so therefore I needed to pay more. But I decided to try a less publicized brand that may be just as good and is a lot friendlier on my budget.As I put in my load of laundry this morning and happily filled my Downy ball with a non-Downy substance, I had a revelation. This Presidential political season seems a lot like my fabric softener inner monologue. As a nation, we are buying into the propaganda of some candidates. The slick packaging and advertising of today may lead us to paying higher taxes for the socialized health care of tom...
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Gable's Life Rule #15
2008-03-07 16:14:00
Don't try to out-think the room.Yesterday, all the meteorologists here in central Arkansas were promising a foot of snow. All of the schools went ahead and closed because of the "sure thing". This morning, I can still see the dead brown grass of my front yard. It seems to me that predicting the weather is like trying to catch a fish in the ocean with an inch of dental floss. But, these clowns stumble over themselves to be the first to predict the next great storm. They get so caught up with competition that the news they report is flawed. Honestly, they have become a punchline. A seasoned farmer with an almanac will get it right more times than the slick goobs in front of the bluescreen. Tell me what trends you notice and don't try to out-think the room.April brings the beginning of baseball season and the NFL draft. Every year, baseball people say crazy things like the Devil Rays actually have a shot or maybe Mike Hampton won't get hurt. Otherwise smart people will pic...
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