Holy Sarcasm

RSS Feed Homepage

Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4

Brazilian Evangelicals Jailed for Smuggling Money
2007-08-19 23:21:00
A husband and wife who lead one of Brazil’s largest evangelical churches were sentenced to nearly five months in prison Friday after pleading guilty to smuggling more than $56,000 into the United States hidden in luggage, a child’s backpack and a Bible case.  Estevam Hernandes Filho and his wife, Sonia Haddad Moraes Hernandes, must serve an additional five months of house arrest in the U.S. and pay $60,000 in fines under a sentence imposed by U.S. District Judge Federico Moreno.   Hernandes, 53, is to surrender Monday to begin serving his prison term. His 48-year-old wife will serve her house arrest term first at their home in Boca Raton and then report to prison Jan. 21. Both must also serve a probation period after their 10-month combined sentences are up.  Both were given credit for 10 days they spent in custody after their initial arrests at Miami International Airport. Their lawyers had asked for probation, and Moreno could have gone as...
More About: Religion , Money , Smuggling , Evangelicals , Brazilian

Jews Boot Evangelicals Out
2007-08-19 22:26:00
An American evangelical pastor and his wife who have been living in Israel for nearly two decades have been ordered to leave the country within two weeks, after their request for permanent residency was turned down.  Ron Cantrell, 59, and his wife Carol, 54, have run a small Jerusalem-based ministry, Shalom Shalom Jerusalem, for the past four years. Cantrell previously worked for Bridges for Peace, an evangelical organization, for 14 years.  Two of the couple’s children have married Israelis and have Israeli ID cards. Interior Ministry officials said the decision was made following suspicions that Cantrell was involved in missionary work. The pastor categorically denied the allegations as baseless.  Cantrell, who has been active in raising money for Israel as well as working on behalf of Soviet Jews , had resided in Israel on a special clergy visa during his work for Bridges for Peace, but then went back to a regular tourist visa, which needed to b...
More About: Religion , Boot , Evangelicals

Merv Griffin was Gay ?
2007-08-19 22:17:00
Merv Griffin was Gay?  The story was posted on a "reputable" website.  Then it was taken down.  Then it was up again, and now I don't know what happened to the story.  I guess it's a "sensitive" topic for such famous man who never went public about his gay life.  Not that anyone is required to do that.  Ray Richmond used to work for Merv Griffrin and is one of the writers/reporters for a website focused Hollywood and celebrities.  I don't find it surprising that Merv was gay, except that it was such an open secret yet nobody ever "outed" him.  You should read the story yourself - - it's very interesting. Get the full story about Merv Griffin        
More About: Celebrities , Merv Griffin , Merv , Riff

L.A. Priests Sweating in their own Heat
2007-08-17 17:23:00
Now that the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles has reached a record settlement with the victims of clergy sex abuse, the next legal battle is heating up. Under the settlement, the archdiocese is preparing to release personnel files of the accused priests. Plaintiffs' lawyers say these files could implicate Cardinal Roger Mahony in a widespread cover-up.  Mahony has withstood strong criticism for the way he's handled this scandal. He chose to fight the release of priests' files all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. He also challenged the California law that gave people a one-year window to file sex abuse claims no matter when they occurred.  Plaintiffs' attorney John Manly is one of a handful of lawyers who has seen all of these files. He says they show the cardinal routinely covered up sexual abuse in the archdiocese and shuffled abusing priests from parish to parish.  Manly believes the release of these files will force Mahony to resign.  "Ther...
More About: Religion , Heat , Eating , Priest

Pastor asks Congregation to Pray so his Critics will Die
2007-08-17 16:42:00
In another absurd behavior by our American religious leaders gone punch-drunk with power, a California pastor in Buena Park, Wiley S. Drake, who is also the former national leader of the Southern Baptist Convention, called on his followers to pray for the deaths of two leaders of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. The request was in response to the liberal group’s urging the IRS on Tuesday to investigate Drake’s church’s nonprofit status because Drake endorsed former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee  for president on church letterhead and during a church-affiliated Internet radio show.  Pastor Drake said Wednesday he was “simply doing what God told me to do” by targeting Americans United officials Joe Conn and Jeremy Leaming, whom he calls the “enemies of God.”  Conn said he was “startled” at Drake’s reaction to the complaint against Drake’s First Southern Baptist Church of ...
More About: Religion , Crit , Critics , Greg , Pray

Is America Ready for a Black President?!?!?
2007-08-16 18:14:00
John Stewart did a hilarious bit on this question.
More About: Politics , America , President , Black , Lack

Let's Take a Commercial Break
2007-08-16 17:57:00
 . . . And stare at some beautiful women on video!
More About: Society , Commercial , Break , Merc , Brea

Suicides in Army Shooting Upwards
2007-08-16 15:40:00
Army Soldiers committed suicide last year at the highest rate in 26 years, and more than a quarter did so while serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to a new military report.  The report found there were 99 confirmed suicides among active duty Soldiers during 2006, up from 88 the previous year and the highest number since the 102 suicides in 1991 at the time of the Persian Gulf War.  The suicide rate for the Army has fluctuated over the past 26 years, from last year's high of 17.3 per 100,000 to a low of 9.1 per 100,000 in 2001.  Last year, "Iraq was the most common deployment location for both (suicides) and attempts," the report said.  The 99 suicides included 28 Soldiers deployed to the two wars and 71 who weren't. About twice as many women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan committed suicide as did women not sent to war, the report said.   Failed personal relationships, legal and financial problems and the stress of their jobs were factors...
More About: Military , Army , Shooting , Cide , Shoot

Famous Quotes
2007-08-16 14:56:00
If you're afraid of the future, then get out of the way, stand aside. The people of this country are ready to move again. Ronald Reagan Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience. Geroge Washington Bargaining has neither friends nor relations. Benjamin Franklin All persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free... Abraham Lincoln Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. A...
More About: Society , Famous Quotes , Quotes , Famous , Quote

Possible Cancer Cure Found by Canadians
2007-08-15 21:18:00
A unique gene that can stop cancerous cells from multiplying into tumors has been discovered by a team of scientists at the B.C. Cancer Agency in Vancouver.  The team, led by Dr. Poul Sorensen, says the gene has the power to suppress the growth of human tumors in multiple cancers, including breast, lung and liver.  The gene, HACE 1, helps cells fight off stress that, left unchecked, opens the door to formation of multiple tumors.  Dr. Sorensen's team found cancerous cells form tumors when HACE 1 is inactive, but when additional stress such as radiation is added, tumor growth is rampant.  Kick-starting HACE 1 prevented those cells from forming tumors. The study appears in the advance online publication of Nature Medicine.  Source     You Could Be The Next Instant Millionaire! Enter Now As Tickets Are Limited.
More About: Society , Canadians , Cure , Ossi

Some Women Just Can't Wear High Heels!
2007-08-15 18:36:00
Some women can't wear high heels.  But if its a "runway model" you'd think that wearing high heels would be part of the "job."  This video is one of the funniest videos about runway models.  
More About: Society , Women , High , Wear , Heels

Another Evangelical Leader Going Down
2007-08-15 18:04:00
 Rev. Jerry Sutton, a prominent Southern Baptist pastor who lost a bid to become president of the denomination, is now facing an upheaval in the megachurch he leads, including complaints that he spent church money on his daughter's wedding. For nearly 21 years, Sutton has served as leader of Nashville's Two Rivers Baptist Church, which sits just across the highway from the Grand Ole Opry. The church hosted the "Justice Sunday II" rally in 2005, where then-House Majority Lead er Tom DeLay and others criticized judicial activism via satellite to a national audience of evangelical Christians. But now, some Two Rivers members are accusing Sutton of failing to abide by church rules and punishing those who question his authority. "We have a fractured fellowship. Somehow, with the Lord's help, we need to put this church back together," Harry Jester, who's been in the congregation for 32 years, said at a church meeting July 28. One of Sutton's former...
More About: Religion , Evangelical , Leader , Going

Yahoo Beats Google in Customer Satisfaction
2007-08-15 17:37:00
Yahoo captured the top spot from rival Google  for the first time in the University of Michigan's American Customer Satisfaction Index report on electronic-business Web sites. Yahoo's customer satisfaction score of 79 on the ACSI's 100-point scale rose almost 4% this year, while Google slipped 3.7% to 78, its second yearly decline in a row.   Ask.com scored 75, this year's biggest increase and Time Warner Inc.'s AOL.com the biggest decline, down more than 9% to 67. Microsoft Corp.'s MSN.com, with a 75 score, is up only one point this year.  Claes Fornell, head of the ACSI, said in an interview Monday that Google may be falling behind because of a lack of innovation in the basic product it offers. The University of Michigan professor said the Google interface has changed very little even as the user base has exploded. Yahoo, meanwhile, has added several features. The survey comes as Yahoo and Google battle for online-advertising revenue. Yahoo ...
More About: Society , Yahoo , Beats

Houston Oilman and Treasonable Crimes
2007-08-15 17:06:00
Houston oilman Oscar Wyatt -- who is described as a businessman who would not be afraid of dealing with the Devil himself -- was arrested in Houston and charged in New York with bribing Iraqi officials in a scheme to corrupt the United Nations oil-for-food program.  Mr. Wyatt has been released after posting bail of $2.5 million.  The indictment also names two Swiss business executives -- Cathy Miguel and Mohameed Saidji, who are accused of conspiring with Wyatt. Under the indictment, the 81 year old Mr. Wyatt faces a potential jail term of at least 60 years and the threat that the Justice Department will attempt to freeze a substantial amount of his assets.  Mr. Wyatt was a controversial supporter of Saddam Hussein and an acerbic critic of President George H.W. Bush's decision to liberate Kuwait and invade Iraq during Operation Desert Storm in 1991. The indictment alleges that Mr. Wyatt arranged for his first Iraqi oil as chairman of Coastal Corporation in 1996 under...
More About: Society , Crimes , Houston , Sona , Rime

Smug Mug Your Digital Life
2007-08-14 18:25:00
 Professional accounts for Photographers! Bussineses. Popular People.  People like you! SmugMug's mantras are ease of use and style. Easy for you to upload and arrange. Easy for your admirers to navigate and buy prints. Upload 100s of photos with a few clicks. Bulk caption, bulk move, and bulk delete. If your captions are embedded in your photos as IPTC (International Press Telecommunications Council) data, we automatically use them.   Get professional prints! Our prints are provided by a professional lab in Georgia named EZ Prints with outstanding quality, quick turnaround, broad selection and consumer prices. We chose them after an extensive shootout and consulting with our professional customers. We provide calibration prints and ICC profiles for color management. Our catalog includes hard-to-find print sizes in matte, gloss and lustre. Print what you want on the backs of prints. Use our proofing feature to delay shipping so you can retouch and replace the im...
More About: Life , Digital , Digital Life

Learn VisualStudio.NET
2007-08-14 18:18:00
Get started now!  Receive over four hours of tutorial videos from our "ASP.NET 2.0 for Absolute Beginners" video series.
More About: Learn , Visuals

Adobe Defines the Best Tools for Web Creators
2007-08-14 18:14:00
Adobe® Creative Suite® 3 Web Premium software is a complete solution for creating interactive websites, applications, user interfaces, presentations, mobile device content, and other digital experiences. Get everything you need to prototype your project, design assets, build web experiences, and efficiently maintain and update content. Get the newest versions of the award-winning tools, integrated workflows, and valuable utilities used to prototype, design, develop, and maintain websites, applications, interactive experiences, and mobile device content. Fluidly move assets across Adobe® Photoshop® CS3 Extended, Illustrator® CS3, Flash® CS3 Professional, Dreamweaver® CS3, and Fireworks® CS3 software. Use Adobe Version Cue® CS3, Adobe Bridge CS3, and Adobe Stock Photos to manage assets. Prepare content for mobile devices with Adobe Device Central CS3. Creative Suite 3 Web Premium. Redefine the extraordinary in web design and development. ...
More About: Tools , Adobe , Define

The Award for the "Stupidest Woman in the World" Goes to . . .
2007-08-14 17:20:00
The "crack whore" in Rochele, Georgia.  Juanita Marie Jones, 53, called Rochelle Police late Thursday night after she purchased what she thought was a $20 piece of crack cocaine.  She told police she broke the rock into three pieces and smoked one, only to discover the rock was “fake.” She told Officer Joel Quinn and Deputy John Shedd of the Wilcox County Sheriff’s Office that she wanted them to get her money back. She took the officers into her kitchen and showed them the alleged “fake” rock at which time they arrested her on charges of possession of cocaine. She was taken to the Rochelle Police Department where she is awaiting a bond hearing.  source
More About: Society , World , Woman , The World , Award

Top 10 money drains
2007-08-14 16:24:00
1. Coffee -- According to the National Coffee Association, the average price for brewed coffee is $1.38. There are roughly 260 weekdays per year, so buying one coffee every weekday morning costs almost $360 per year. 2. Cigarettes -- The Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids reports that the average price for a pack of cigarettes in the United States is $4.54. Pack-a-day smokers fork out $1,660 a year. Weekend smoker? Buying a pack once a week adds up, too: $236. 3. Alcohol -- Drink prices vary based on the location. But assuming an average of $5 per beer including tip, buying two beers per day adds up to $3,650 per year. Figure twice that for two mixed drinks a day at the local bar. That's not chump change. 4. Bottled water from convenience stores -- A 20-ounce bottle of Aquafina bottled water costs about $1. One bottle of water per day costs $365 per year. It costs the environment plenty, too. 5. Manicures -- The Day Spa Magazine Price Survey of 2004 found that the average cost ...
More About: Society , Money

Top 10 Presidents
2007-08-14 16:00:00
1. Abraham Lincoln - “I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.” 2. Franklin Delano Roosevelt - “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” 3. George Washington - “The nation which indulges towards another a habitual hatred, or an habitual fondness, is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest.” 4. Thomas Jefferson - “I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever. . . the Almighty has no attribute that can take side with us in such a contest.” 5. Theodore Roosevelt - “No Man is justified in doing evil on the grounds of expedience.” 6. Andrew Jackson - “It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of gover...
More About: Politics , Presidents , Resident

Cheney Predicted a Quagmire in Baghdad
2007-08-14 15:42:00
Vice President Dick Chen ey is a staunch defender of the U.S. invasion of Iraq to topple Saddam Hussein, but a 1994 video shows he opposed that very move after the liberation of Kuwait, saying it would land America in a "quagmire.” In an April 15, 1994 interview  Cheney said he did not think U.S. or U.N. forces should have moved into Baghdad in 1991, stating, "Because if we'd gone to Baghdad we would have been all alone. There wouldn't have been anybody else with us. There would have been a U.S. occupation of Iraq. None of the Arab forces that were willing to fight with us in Kuwait were willing to invade Iraq. Once you got to Iraq and took it over, took down Saddam Hussein's government, then what are you going to put in its place? "That's a very volatile part of the world, and if you take down the central government of Iraq, you could very easily end up seeing pieces of Iraq fly off: part of it, the Syrians would like to have to the west, part of i...
More About: Politics , Quagmire

Police Officer Arrests Wife who is also Police
2007-08-14 14:58:00
In Nevada, an off-duty Elko County sheriff's deputy was arrested on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol after her husband, a fellow deputy, pulled her over. Charlotte Moore, 36, was arrested at 11:41 p.m. Saturday. She was released at 1:47 a.m. on Sunday and placed on paid administrative leave, Elko County Undersheriff Rocky Gonzalez said. Moore, a jail deputy who has been on staff for 11 years, was off duty driving her 2004 Pontiac Grand Am when she was initially pulled over by her husband, Elko County Sheriffs Deputy Mike Moore. I'm guessing those two married police officers are having serious marriage problems!  He's on the "fast track" to divorce.  I wouldn't want to be in his shoes. Source
More About: Society , Wife , Police , Arrests , Poli

Even Great Men have Defects
2007-08-14 14:45:00
Laser scans of two life masks, made from plaster casts of President Lincoln's face, reveal the 16th president's unusual degree of facial asymmetry.  The left side of Lincoln's face was much smaller than the right, an aberration called cranial facial microsomia. The defect joins a long list of other ailments including smallpox, heart illness and depression that modern doctors have diagnosed in Lincoln.  Lincoln's contemporaries noted his left eye at times drifted upward independently of his right eye, a condition now termed strabismus. Lincoln's smaller left eye socket may have displaced a muscle controlling vertical movement. Lincoln noticed double vision only occasionally and it did not bother him a great deal," said Fishman, a retired Washington, D.C., ophthalmologist and history buff. Most people's faces are asymmetrical, Fishman said, but Lincoln's case was extreme, with the bony ridge over his left eye rounder and thinner than the right...
More About: Society , Great , Defect

Priest Runs Naked at High School
2007-08-12 18:01:00
A Catholic priest in Frederick, Colo., faces an indecent exposure charge because he went jogging in the nude about an hour before sunrise.  The Rev. Robert Whipkey told officers he had been running naked at a high school track and didn't think anyone would be around at that time of day, a police report said. He told officers he sweats profusely if he wears clothing while jogging. "I know what I did was wrong."  Whipkey, 53, was arrested in this small town about 20 miles north of Denver. An officer said he saw a naked man walking down the street at 4:35 a.m. The officer said when he shined his flashlight at the man, he covered himself with a piece of clothing he was carrying. The Archdiocese of Denver said it takes the incident seriously but is awaiting the outcome of the case. Whipkey, who also officiates at parishes in the nearby towns of Mead and Erie, remains an active priest. If convicted of indecent exposure, a misdemeanor, he would have to register as...
More About: Religion , School , High School , High , Runs

Iran Wants to be Invaded!
2007-08-12 17:04:00
A recent opinion survey showed that 58 percent of Iran ians would support a foreign invasion to overthrow the current religious dictatorship. However, nearly 70 percent would prefer a popular, but non-violent, revolution, like the one that tossed out European communist dictatorships in 1989-90. Worse, 92 percent do not approve of how their government operates. Only eleven percent oppose democracy, and 72 percent did not support the "Islamic Revolution" that has dominated the country for 28 years. Still, most Iranians are not willing to fight, knowing that the minority of Iranians who do support the government are armed and willing to kill Iranians that oppose them. The survey also showed that 78 percent of Iranians believe the country should have nuclear power, but only 46 percent believed they should have nuclear weapons. Interestingly, 52 percent believed that Western Europe would accept Iran having nuclear power. People are not happy with the government foreign policy, w...
More About: Politics

Highschool Teacher Wins date with Pornstar - You're FIRED!
2007-08-12 15:45:00
A Monessen, Pennsylvania high school has accepted the resignation of a an art teacher after he won a date with a porn star on a radio show. Jaison Biagini, who taught art for 14 years in Monessen, near Pittsburgh, entered a Sirius satellite radio contest on the 'Bubba the Love Sponge' show because it would win him with a free weekend in Tampa. Biagini said he was interested in visiting the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg. The teacher won, and took off for Tampa, where he met porn star Akira. But, Biagini, who uses a wheelchair, said he felt the sponsors had made fun of his disability. To make matters worse, the school also asked him to step down after the stunt. School board officials say that despite his artistic intentions, Biagini knew what "he was getting into when he entered the contest."
More About: Society , Teacher , Fired , Wins , Teac

Bully Pastor Drags Girl behind Van
2007-08-12 14:58:00
A San Antonio pastor, Charles E. Flowers, 46, and an employee of his Christian boot camp, Stephanie Bassitt, 20, were arrested Friday on aggravated assault charges, accused of dragging a girl behind a van after she failed to keep up during a running exercise. Both were arrested and are being held on $100,000 bail at the Nueces County Jail in Corpus Christi.  Both Flowers and Bassitt restrained the girl and tied her to the back of a van with a piece of rope before dragging her on her stomach at the Love Demonstrated Ministries’ boot camp in Banquete, about 10 miles west of Corpus Christi. Schertz police assisted Nueces County authorities in the arrests because the camp’s orientation sessions are held in Schertz, and the 15-year-old girl claimed she was assaulted there, too. Bailey said the second assault claim was turned over to the Comal County district attorney’s office, which hasn’t said if any criminal charges will r...
More About: Religion , Girl , Bully , Pastor

Jon Stewart Gets a Piece of Bush
2007-08-11 22:40:00
Jon Stewart is mostly funny, and sometimes accurate.  Is always refreshing to see a comedian give their "spin" on politicians, especially if the politician can't talk without sticking his foot in his mouth, or can't communicate very well in general. In other words, a comedy piece on President Bush is almost too easy.  But Jon Stewart did do a good one on Bush.
More About: Politics , Jon Stewart , Piece

Man with Bad Luck Busted by Wife
2007-08-11 22:14:00
A married man is suing 1-800-Flowers for $1 million for revealing that he was cheating on his wife. Leroy Greer said in his lawsuit filed this week in a federal court in Texas that he bought flowers for his girlfriend through 1-800-Flowers. He asked to keep his purchase private. He was referred to the company's privacy policy, which states that customers can ask 1-800-Flowers not to share personal information with "third parties."  But, 1-800 -Flowers sent a thank-you note to his house and his wife saw it. When she called the company, 1-800-Flowers faxed her a copy of the receipt from Greer's secret purchase. The receipt revealed that Greer had sent another woman a dozen long-stemmed red roses, along with a note that read, "Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!" He is SO busted!  Get the rest of the story here.
More About: Society , Wife , Busted , Luck

Iraq is Breakin' our Back
2007-08-11 21:45:00
Let's go over a few items of interest about the war in Iraq .  The troops are getting worn out.  Many of them are on their second and third tour in the theater. It's straining the families, the marriages, and the military units.  It's also become anti-Bush fodder for the democrats.  Democrats on Saturday touted legislation to guarantee troops time at home between deployments to Iraq.  Congresswoman Ellen Tauscher from California said, "The president's surge has sent many of our Army units to Iraq for the second and third time. We are asking our troops to make heroic sacrifices yet as soon as they return we rush them back into battle." The new law would require that regular military units returning from the war receive at least as much time at home as they spent in Iraq. Reserve units would get a home stay three times as long as they spent in the war zone. How worn out are the troops?  The Army is having such a hard time...
More About: Politics , Back , Brea , Breakin