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Republicans Believe In Global Whoring!!!
2007-10-25 06:01:00
To hear some highly moral, right wing, (anti-everybody who's not exactly like they are) spokesperson tell it, GLOBAL WARMING is the figment of the imagination of everybody who's smarter than they are. In other words, everybody. Everything they don't understand or accept is passed off as God's will, which enables them to continue down the path of total ignorance. It seems their primary dismissal of this concept is the fact that it is science based and eloquently explained by former Vice President and recent Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Al Gore. I can't fathom why these people hate Mr. Gore so much. I have to assume it's because he's bright and he doesn't champion the refusal of a woman's right to determine whether or not she wishes to carry a baby to term. It's so inconceivable, yet so true how these Christian conservatives care so deeply for an unborn fetus until the exact instant of birth, then immediately from that moment forward they fervently will do anything and every...
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When The Going Gets Tough, Just Shut Up!
2007-10-24 06:01:00
Too much talking today. People see a live microphone and they feel compelled to say something. I wish they would merely say no comment, but no they start to talk and then talk some more. This applies to political candidates, celebrities, athletes and everybody else. The most obnoxious abusers of this practice are the ones currently talking. Take George W. Bush, please. Whenever the incoherent rambler-in-chief stops to ad lib a carefully constructed speech or answer some impromptu questions from the media, he sounds like a mentally challenged head injury victim. Bush is a guy who has great difficulty expelling a burp at a club soda drinking festival unless it was notated to do so in crayon, directly in front of him.AN OBVIOUSLY ANGRY RABBI KATZ AFTER AN UNFLATTERING INTERVIEWAthletes are also examples of mind numbing head trauma victims when they answer the most ridiculous questions with even more ridiculous responses. This will be clearly illustrated as the World Series begins Wedne...
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If Cheney Had Courage, There'd Be No Wars
2007-10-23 06:01:00
Cheney exaggerating the size of his courageDick Cheney, the great white hunter of old men's faces, crawled out of his hole this weekend to once again threaten Iran. Iron Dick said Sunday "the United States would not permit Iran to get nuclear weapons and warned of serious consequences if it refuses to stop enriching uranium." Threats from the mouth of a person like Dick Cheney always seem so impotent. Every time this self described tough guy comes out of his deep lair of secrecy to blusteringly threaten anybody, it makes me laugh or merely shake my head in contempt. The plain fact of the matter is Cheney and his pea brained partner are two of the most despicable cowards to ever take up space in the White House.They so cavalierly dispatch brave young men and women to fight wars that they lack the intellectual wherewithal and intestinal fortitude to have fought themselves. We must never forget that Bush was a Vietnam War deserter and allowed to do so because of powerful family connec...
More About: Wars , Cheney

Diversity Would Be Better Served as a Ship
2007-10-22 06:01:00
One doesn't often get a chance to quote legendary anchorman Ron Burgundy when discussing a serious news topic, but here goes. "I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era." That was Burgundy's response to a question posed by news colleague, Brian Fantana. It seemed Fantana was not happy when told the male dominated news team he was a part of, would have to add a female journalist to their exclusive boy's club. The movie, Anchorman, was nothing more than a farcical satire of television journalism 30 years ago, but almost by accident, raises a very important issue of today. "Multiculturalism promotes segregation, stifles free speech and threatens liberal democracy," Britain's top Jewish official warned in extracts from his book published Saturday. That is a direct quote from the U.K.'s chief rabbi, Jonathan Sacks, from a recent interview in London. Now at first glance, many of you might consider that to be a terribl...
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My Kid is an Angel + I'm an Idiot = Lawsuit!
2007-10-20 06:01:00
I'm learning that nowadays, most Americans do two things better than any other class of people. First off, most are loud, rude and obnoxious beyond belief at home or abroad. Second, to paraphrase William Shakespeare, "all the world's a courtroom and the men and women are merely plaintiffs." I grew up in a household that didn't suffer fools lightly. If one of us kids did something wrong, it soon became apparent that a parent would be addressing the issue with you. There was NEVER any talk of initiating legal action against the egregious actions of the offending party. There was only talk of what our part in the alleged dispute was, and what remedies we would be obliged to offer as a settlement. One thing I have learned about disputes within the United States justice system, is that the overwhelming majority of cases that come to trial are totally frivolous and completely without merit. Rarely a week goes by anymore, that you don't read about or see on the news a relatively incons...
More About: Lawsuit , Angel , Idiot , Suit

Ellen, Take Your Meds & Lie Down Quietly...
2007-10-19 06:01:00
Wow, what a dog eat dog world we live in. Ellen DeGeneres' world is so full of pain, she felt compelled to stage a calculated nervous breakdown on her own daily dog and pony show. For those of you who don't know who Ellen DeGeneres even is or what's taking place in her life right now, consider yourselves fortunate. I only wish I was one of you. Ellen is a 49 year moderately successful comedienne best known for being the daytime hostess of one of those "Oh my God, I just completely threw away an hour of my life" daytime talk shows and for nailing the smoking hot Portia de Rossi. I would rather spend an hour sitting in a pool of freezing cold water sticking my index finger in an exposed electrical outlet than watch a program like this. If that got old after a while, and I'm assuming it would, I could easily be coerced into donning a Harpo Marx wig and driving "my" Portia around the track for the hour instead, IF you know what I mean. But pleasant momentary diversions aside, pleas...
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Do Sex & Love Have Anything in Common?
2007-10-18 06:01:00
What constitutes proper intimate etiquette today? Let's have some wicked hook-up sex baby, or oh darling I love thee so, allow me to make passionate love to you. Does it really matter? Both proclamations are posed with the same end result in mind. Obviously, I'm opining about this as only a guy would, but cut me some slack, I'm only a guy. We gentleman generally start thinking about sex at the same time we begin morphing from boyhood into manhood. That transition occurred in me between my 13th and 14th birthdays. My sex hormones started producing testosterone at approximately the rate Exxon was turning barrels of crude oil into gallons of high performance gasoline. All of a sudden I wasn't so sure I was in fact the product of a true immaculate conception. However, I was still convinced my parents purchased my siblings at a flea market or a liquidation sale where EVERYTHING was priced to go.I was experiencing feelings previously unfelt and when the sun was at just the right angle...
More About: Love , Common

Last One Out of Iraq, Turn Off the Lights!!!
2007-10-17 06:01:00
Here we go once again. The U.S. Military believes it has dealt devastating and perhaps irreversible blows to al-Qaeda in Iraq in recent months, leading some generals to advocate a declaration of victory over the very group Commandant Bush has long described as the "most lethal U.S. adversary we faced" during this nearly five year old war. But as the White House and its military commanders plan the next phase of the war, other officials have cautioned against taking what they see as a premature step that could create strategic and political difficulties for the United States. Such a declaration could fuel criticism that the Iraq conflict has become a civil war in which U.S. combat forces should not be involved. At the same time, the intelligence community, and some in the military itself, worry about underestimating an enemy that has shown great resilience in the past.So now George Bush must do what he does best, he must start droning on and on about specifics he has decided upon, th...
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Forget Jesus, What Would a 13 Year old Do?
2007-10-16 06:01:00
THIS IS THE TYPE OF YOUNG ADULT, I'M TRYING TO REACHIt was recently pointed out to me that my opinions, thoughts and views on life may not be compatible and/or suitable with a great many of the 13 year olds surfing the net. I know when I was 13, my primary interests were politics, religion, national and international events and the eventual role I would be compelled to play in them all. Trivial items such as reaching puberty, hormonal changes, beer, girls and getting girls to drink beer were of no interest to me or any of my scholarly peers. A great many of you may have a hard time believing this, but then again, you're not Member Support Professional Ted P. of Logiscape Support Services. Now your internal awareness bell is ringing loudly I imagine, yes, that Ted P. My dear friend Ted P. holds what I assume is an entry level position with Traffic Syndicate 25, aka TS 25, the well known free traffic exchange that draws all the aforementioned 13 year old and older news hounds to bl...
More About: Jesus , Year

Seems Like ALL The Generals BETRAY-US!
2007-10-15 06:01:00
What is the role of a military general in today's armed forces? I thoroughly understand the manner in which the chain of command operates. The leader of all U.S. armed forces is the president. This happens to be the case even when the commander-in-chief is a cowardly war time deserter, as George W. Bush indisputably was during this country's participation in the Vietnam War in the 1960's and 70's. General David Petraeus is the top military commander in Iraq. All other generals in Iraq report to higher ranking generals who report to Petraeus, who in turn reports directly to the president. This war is now rapidly approaching five years in duration, and as many of you recall, Petraeus is not the first top military commander in Iraq.Three months after the United States' ill fated invasion of Iraq took place in March of 2003, General Ricardo S. Sanchez was named the top military commander for allied forces in Iraq. Sanchez was the man in charge for one year until June of 2004. Six m...
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WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST WEEK
2007-10-13 06:01:00
Congratulations to former Vice President, Al Gore. Gore and the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for their efforts to spread awareness of man-made climate change and lay the foundations for counteracting it. "His strong commitment, reflected in political activity, lectures, films and books, has strengthened the struggle against climate change," the citation said. "He is probably the single individual who has done most to create greater worldwide understanding of the measures that need to be adopted." Gore, who earlier this year won an Oscar for "An Inconvenient Truth" as well as an Emmy Award, announced that he would donate the entire $1.5 million prize money to the Alliance for Climate Protection. A great many people are hoping this award will propel the former Vice President into announcing a bid for the presidency, but the general consensus is that will not be the case, sadly.Speaking of Vice Presidents, the man currently ...
More About: Week , Hell

BUSH TAKING A LEAK ON HIMSELF!!!
2007-10-12 06:01:00
BUSH AIMS TO PLEASE. INSTEAD HE SHOULD PLEASE AIMThe White House has once again done what it does best. They have done great harm to the American people through the very nature of their gross incompetence. I doubt most people ever heard of SITE Intelligence Group before last week. That was exactly the way the founder of the company, 44-year old Rita Katz wanted it. SITE is a small private intelligence company that monitors Islamic terrorist groups. They managed to acquire a new Osama bin Laden video tape at approximately 10 a.m. on Sept. 7th. They immediately notified the Bush administration of this top secret acquisition. Two senior officials had to provide assurances the tape would be kept top secret. SITE received said assurances that the White House would NOT reveal they acquired it, until after al-Qaeda released it. At that point the tape was transferred to the White House.Within 20 minutes, a range of intelligence agencies had begun downloading it from the company's Web site....
More About: Leak , Taking

Republicans Banking on American Stupidity
2007-10-11 06:01:00
The Republican Party has made the conscious effort to allow the most ignorant and gullible American s to decide their fate in the upcoming 2008 elections. This is not a partisan statement made by a condescending person of above average intelligence, but rather a simple statement of undeniable fact. The GOP is desperately banking their very survival on a strategy comprised of taking advantage of the American people by distorting the facts, relying upon their greed, exploiting patriotism and fear of terror by brainwashing people who grew up in a time when the nation trusted their government. It's not that this type of manipulation is beneath the Democratic Party, it's just that the Republicans are so much more accomplished in doing it. The Democrats can't even offer themselves up as a competitive opponent.One of the deceptive ploys the republicans exploit best is patriotism. The GOP has turned the word into a childish national referendum as to why they're the party of loyal Americ...
More About: Banking , Stupidity

New York Yankees Seem More Like Yankers
2007-10-10 06:01:00
Sue me, I'm a proud and unabashed Red Sox fan. Seeing the mega-payroll Yankees burn and flame once again allows me a moment to appreciate all life has to offer. This morning, the air felt a little crisper, the birds were chirping a little more on key, the coffee tasted a little fresher and the world at large felt a little happier. Ding dong, the witches are dead, interred for another season. The modern day Boys of Summer moved one step closer to participation in the 2007 Fall Classic. On Monday night, a bunch of moderately to little known baseball players representing Cleveland, Ohio defeated the Yankees three games to one in the American League Division Series in Yankee Stadium. Even though I readily admit I would have much preferred the Red Sox delivering the knockout blow to the Yankees themselves, just knowing the Yankees were eliminated so quickly and decisively by such a heavy underdog, is in itself, an absolutely wonderful feeling.Year in and year out, the New York Yankees l...
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WE KICKED IRAQ'S ASS? NEXT UP IRAN?
2007-10-09 06:01:00
The evidence is conclusive. George W. Bush has so thoroughly cowed the people of Iraq, it's clearly time to bring another country to its knees as well. Iran , come on down, you're the next contestant on the "Bush is Wrong." I'm convinced Bush has Attention Deficit Disorder. He fights wars like I watch television. I will click on a channel, watch something for a few minutes. I think this might be interesting, but decide after a little while it's really kind of boring. So then I flip to another channel and repeat that same process again and again. The main difference being,while I sit flipping, nobody dies as a result and billions of dollars are not simultaneously being flushed down the toilet.Right after it was determined Osama bin Laden was responsible for the 9/11 attacks, Bush vowed Osama would be hunted down and killed. Virtually everybody supported that. It was determined he was hiding somewhere in the mountainous region along the Afghanistan and Pakistan border. It proved...

All My Fame Earns is a Kick in the Asphalt?
2007-10-08 06:01:00
The going rate for immortal fame is currently $25,000. That's right, if you have "25 Large" just lying around some dark, anonymous bank vault collecting dust as it's collecting interest, you might want to think about making an investment in your future by purchasing your own STAR on Hollywood's Walk of Fame . You read that correct. Just do something, almost anything worthy of generating enough publicity to get your own law enforcement mug shot. For this momentous photo opportunity, I would suggest you not be bathed, be in desperate need of a shampoo and styling and to close the deal, have a wild, borderline psychotic gleam in your eye as the police photographer prompts your pose with a the standard "say cheese" request. This is your initial step as you begin your Journey to Fame. Next, you're going to want to alert the paparazzi that you'll be holding an impromptu press conference to repudiate the bogus charges the cops have charged you with. Make sure you're sufficiently unde...
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Wasn't the Bush Presidency Torture Enough
2007-10-06 06:01:00
BUSH and CHENEY TESTING NEWEST TORTURE TECHNIQUEI feel as though I'm preparing to write a middle school term paper titled: The Biggest Coward I Ever Met. Make no mistake, people who authorize underlings to carry out brutal torture on even the most despicable of enemies is as gutless an act as humanity ever devised. Think about it, an individual, or usually a group of individuals, physically and mentally abusing a defenseless and shackled human being for the alleged purpose of gathering information. Take a moment to recall the events of last month when Michael Vick was forced to plead guilty. He will soon be sentenced to federal prison for torturing DOGS. The Federal Government along with every state in the union has criminal statutes on the books banning the intentional torture of all animals. I can only assume, the Bush Administration attorneys would argue they're not torturing animals, they're torturing human beings that they and they alone have labeled enemy combatants. These...
More About: Torture , Presidency , The Bush

From This Angle, The VIEW Makes Me Sick!
2007-10-05 06:01:00
Somebody please pass me the Pepto-Bismol. Just the very thought of entertainment legend Whoopi Goldberg, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the Speaker's husband Paul Pelosi surrendering to the temptations of a passion filled ménage à trois, is enough to make me want to convulsively shake, rattle and roll my intestines through my exploding skull. Now don't get me wrong, I'm very supportive of the important role a ménage à trois can play in everyday life. However, in the spirit of full disclosure, I'm putting much more thought into the important role it would play in my life than it would in the lives of "Whoopi and the Pelosis." Hmmm, that has serious potential as the title of a hip new sitcom on FOX's fall line-up. I'm trying to fathom the point of this program and what audience they're attempting to target. Let me see where the evidence leads me. Let's start with the distinguished panelists of today.RECENT CAST PHOTO FROM "THE VIEW"Barbara Walters is the venerable 78 year ...
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Time To Put Your $$$ Where Your Mouth Is
2007-10-04 06:01:00
I've never once attempted to hide the fact that I sincerely believe with all my heart and soul that George W. Bush is a diamond encrusted, 24 karat gold ignoramus. There aren't enough trees left standing on this earth to supply enough paper to document all the stupid remarks he's made and a list of all the even stupider acts he's committed. At present, I'm shaking my head at his spokeswoman's reaction to a proposal that the American people start making some genuine sacrifices by ponying up some cash to pay for the Iraq War. Instead of seriously debating the merits of this proposal, she preferred to crack some lame jokes about it instead. The White House knows only how to flush money down the toilet. When the bills come in at the end of each month, they just get filed away with all the other negatives of this administration. The news must be positive, or it doesn't exist. Deceit often trumps truth and stupid people don't address problems, they ignore them.The Bush administrat...
More About: Time , Mouth

Judge Yourself Judge, as You Would Others!
2007-10-03 06:01:00
Associate Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has written a somewhat scathing, one sided autobiographical account of his life. From the excerpts I read, it appears the ultra conservative, African-American justice has spent the better part of his lifetime carrying around a boulder sized chip on his shoulder towards anyone and everyone that didn't share the judge's unbridled respect and adoration he has for himself. I was taught that a judge is a fair and independent arbiter of the facts. A judge must always be the one impartial figure in a court of law that administers their verdict solely on the facts, without any preconceived biases from their life experiences. When you're a lawyer, you're an advocate for your client. When you're a judge, or in this case one of the nine most influential dispensers of justice in the world, you owe it to yourself and more importantly to society as a whole to be fair and balanced. Apparently, Clarence Thomas is significantly more influenced by...
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Anatomy of a Choke - 2007 New York Mets!
2007-10-02 06:01:00
CORONER'S REPORT RULES SELF -ASPHYXIATION CAUSED METS' DEATHAll the paperwork is signed, sealed and delivered. The official poster boys of self strangulation, now officially known as the 2007 New York Mets , are DEAD. A team full of baseball players so accomplished and talented, that many sports prognosticators saw a 2007 World Series Championship flag being waved in their honor. The Mets "loaded up" for this season. They acquired every high priced mercenary they could get their checkbook on, in anticipation of this season being "The Year of the Met". The payroll for this team laden with overpriced, underachieving, overrated baseball players, began 2007 at $115.2 million. This was the third highest payroll in major league baseball, trailing only the cross town rival Yankees, and the Yankees' American League East rivals, the Boston Red Sox. For the record, both the Yankees and Sox will be participating in the playoffs that start later this week. ...
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O'REILLY is O'REALLY a Total O'IMBECILE
2007-10-01 06:01:00
START YOUR DAY THE BILL O'REILLY WAYWhenever I catch a glimpse of Bill O'Relly, I immediately see this self-aggrandizing paragon of virtue, this long winded ego-maniacal blow-hard, this tough talking, yet soft walking sanctimonious sack of compost and this skyscraper of a man whose elevator no longer reaches the top floor. I'm not going to sugarcoat my personal feelings when it comes to 58 year old William James "Bill" O'Reilly, Jr. I dislike the guy with a passion. The same people who insist that George W. Bush is really this deep thinking, highly educated intellectual will also praise O'Reilly in a similar manner. I don't for one second believe Bush is actually brighter than he appears, and I also don't think O'Reilly is really this sophisticated, open minded, political commentator. I have too much evidence to validate the contrary. I shall now lay out my case by just noting four of the countless examples of what a horse's ass O'Reilly truly is.On February 10, 2001, O'R...
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