Out in Left FieldOut in Left FieldWhere parenting and politics meet, but don't always play nice. 
Articles
It’s October – Donate today!
2009-10-16 02:59:00 Are you sure my near-naked support for USF and boobies doesn’t inspire you to donate? Perhaps a more family-friendly venue is more your speed. Too bad that’s not how I roll. I’ll be walking for the Komen Foundation on Sunday, October 25th in memory of a beloved cousin who died fighting this dreaded disease as well as several ... More About: Today , Donate
How to flatter a working mother who’s been happily married to the same ma
2009-10-14 23:54:00 From time to time, men hit on me. Not a lot, but enough. How about that? I no longer repel. Either smiling more than scowling, losing all that baby weight, getting in shape, figuring out what to do with my hair and discovering clothes that fit actually makes a difference, or middle-aged guys are goddamn desperate. Going ... More About: Mother
Single-payer healthcare is still alive and gaining support
2009-10-14 04:26:00 Everyone is saying that single-payer, guaranteed healthcare, is a lost dream. What about HR 676? National groups of nurses and unions are endorsing HR 676 and so should you. The alternative, a profit-driven healthcare system, is not acceptable. The next two weeks are important for healthcare reform. Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York is sending an amendment ... More About: Healthcare , Support , Single , Gaining
What is Columbus Day all about?
2009-10-13 03:13:00 I’m sick of people berating Christopher Columbus for being a tyrannical, abusive, aggressive rapist. He was Italian, for Christ’s sake. Haven’t you ever seen The Sopranos? Dude wouldn’t last five minutes in Jersey. Even if he *could* find it. I still don’t know why he’s given a major holiday, though. I mean, really. There are better people, ...
One of the dangers of having your own website…
2009-10-12 04:05:00 Is that you sometimes run the risk of writing a post that’s too personal. I’ve done that from time to time. In the very beginning, I actually posted entries from a diary I kept in the mid to late 1980s. (1983, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1989, and 1990 - go ahead and read them. You’re in there.) Since ... More About: Website
“Can I still have red velvet cake on my birthday?”
2009-10-09 03:45:00 My new best friend, The Dietitian, knows a thing or two about what I should put inside my mouth. Six seconds into our meeting last week, which eventually lasted for over an hour, I knew I’d hit the jackpot. Hundreds of books, several degrees, and over a dozen certifications in medical nutrition may seem like ... More About: Cake , Birthday
It’s Boobie-Thon Time – Let’s Bare All for Breast Cancer
2009-10-05 22:39:00 Three years ago, the lovely ladies at Boobie-Thon invited me to show off my own lovely ladies for breast cancer research. They didn’t have to ask me twice. Since then, every October, my readers have enjoyed trying to pick their favorite blogger’s boobies out of the gallery of bodacious ta-tas (definitely NSFW, Senator) – this year it’s ... More About: Cancer , Time , Breast Cancer , Breast , Bare
How to survive being on television when you’re a neurotic mess like me. O
2009-10-03 23:50:00 Earlier this week, I got a request to appear on Studio 10, a local morning talk show in Tampa, hosted by Holley Sinn and Jerome Ritchey. They wanted to discuss my review of Capitalism: A Love Story and maybe even my blogging adventures at Out in Left Field. Despite the fact they have no open bar, ... More About: Television , Survive
Check out my review of Michael Moore’s “Capitalism: A Love Stor
2009-10-01 03:51:00 My review is the cover story for this week’s Creative Loafing. Or check it here - “Do we want a society based on profit for some, or freedom for all? That’s the choice and question at the heart of this important documentary.” More About: Love , Michael Moore , Review , Michael , Check
Your favorite local blogger will be on Studio 10
2009-09-30 03:44:00 Get the DVRs ready, bitches. Funny story. Years ago, working my way through college at Tampa Woman’s Health Center, Julie and I would leave work in scrubs to appear on The Kathy Fountain Show. We’d yell. We’d hoot. We’d holler. With big hair and even bigger indignation, we’d scare the pro-lifers in the audience and loudly defend women ... More About: Blogger , Local , Studio
In honor of Yom Kippur
2009-09-27 23:05:00 I apologize for anything I’ve done, both intentionally and unintentionally, that may have hurt you. Please forgive me. This is what I say on the phone or in person or in a text because G-d loves Him some atonement through technology. Yom Kippur begins in a few hours and so, the tradition goes, before we ask ... More About: Honor
Census worker killed in rural Kentucky
2009-09-25 03:01:00 Bill Sparkman, who worked for the Census Bureau, was killed in a remote part of Kentucky after being warned of the area’s isolated and anti-government residents. Reports say that he was found dead with the word, “Fed,” carved into his chest. I will never understand the hatred people feel for our government. Corporations have done more to ...
A mommy-writer’s worry
2009-09-24 02:57:00 I write about a lot of things – politics, naughty bits, love toys. I wax philosophical about financial issues and have been known to share with readers the joys of meat-free living. For this, I’ve earned a buck fifty and tons of hate mail. What? I suffer for my art. But nothing worries me more than when I ... More About: Mommy , Worry , Writer
A vegetarian’s guide to eating dead animals again
2009-09-22 22:04:00 Hear that? My vegan friends are losing their shit while meat-eating men went from six to midnight in two seconds flat. And while I appreciate your horror, Willow Tree, and am flattered by your fantasies of wiping au jus from my breasts where it spills during a naked dinner together, Tough Guy, I want all ... More About: Vegetarian , Animals , Guide , Dead , Eating
An asshole? Maybe. But not everyone who disagrees with President Obama is *
2009-09-22 02:21:00 “Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself.” – Ferris Bueller What if white, country-boy Kanye West interrupted African-American, R&B singer Taylor Swift? Would this switcheroo have changed public sentiment after their now-infamous interaction at last week’s MTV VMAs? I doubt it. The only difference – ... More About: President , Obama , Asshole
What do Facebook quizzes say about your paranoid ass?
2009-09-18 21:23:00 Apparently a lot. Facebook lists countless quizzes encouraging members to determine, among other things, their favorite Sex and the City character, John Hughes movie, or Prince song. (Miranda, Breakfast Club, and Raspberry Beret - didn’t need a quiz, thankyouverymuch.) Most of us have lives and hit “ignore” faster than Jim Greer hits the mirror after a stressful ... More About: Quizzes , Paranoid
I can’t believe I beat the girl who writes about anonymous sex
2009-09-17 17:56:00 I won Best Female Contributor for Creative Loafing. Thanks to my readers for their support and haters for their motivation. A special shout-out to my lovely balcony and orchestra – let’s face it, without tits and ass, I’d have no conservative audience. Every little bit helps. My kids were reading the list in Creative Loafing’s Best of the ... More About: Girl , Beat , Anonymous , The Girl
The politics of breast cancer fundraising
2009-09-16 20:42:00 I know someone who is participating in Race for the Cure to honor a recent breast cancer survivor. She sent out an invitation, urging mutual friends to participate in or donate to the worthy cause. One woman said she wouldn’t donate to Susan G. Komen for the Cure because she’s “pro-life.” Seems the Komen fund gives small ... More About: Politics , Cancer , Fundraising , Breast Cancer , Breast
For those who long to hold me…
2009-09-16 04:23:00 Here’s your chance! Hybrid Mom’s fall issue is out and my column is on page 44. You can find this terrific magazine at Barnes & Noble or Gymboree. You can also subscribe and then my words of wisdom will magically appear at your doorstep. What could be better? More About: Long , Hold , Hold Me
Apples dipped in honey…what’s not to like?
2009-09-15 03:33:00 Every year before Rosh Hashanah, synagogues send tickets to members for High Holy Day services. Non-members in the Tampa Bay area usually pay around $200. That’s right. Local Jews pay that kind of money for tickets to a show that doesn’t include Neil Diamond or a free buffet. Who knew? Included is usually a letter that lays out the rules and regulations for attending such services. Below please find the letter I received with my additions in bold. Bold. Get it? Dear Members and Guests: Enclosed are your non-transferable tickets for the High Holy Day services. We’re not kidding. Non-transferable means non-transferable, Judy Simon. Quit trying to pass off Cousin Louie for that ungrateful son who’s having too much fun at Brandeis to come home. Louie’s teeth have started falling out and we can smell the Preparation H a mile away. Tell Louie to purchase his own goddamn ticket. Please bring your tickets to each service and present them to the ushers at the d... More About: Honey , Apples
The Loafies. Who’s in?
2009-09-13 20:50:00 From Creative Loafing: You’ve voted in the Readers’ Poll and you can’t wait to see who the editors picked this year for categories like “Best display of ignorance by a public official,” “Best beach to run naked on at night” and “Best experimental bartenders.” So, what now? Well, you could wait until the issue hits the streets or until we post the winners online, but where’s the fun in that? Why not come party with us as we announce the winners (and release the issue early) the night before – amid revelry, fashion, food, live music and all the “Best” the Tampa Bay has to offer? Don’t miss your chance to meet the Best of the Bay winners and mingle with the tastemakers of Tampa Bay at our annual Best of the Bay “Loafies” party! WHEN: Tuesday, September 15, 7 – 10 p.m. WHERE: Creative Loafing, 810 N. Howard Ave. Tampa. DETAILS: Food, Drink, Fashion, Dancing and more. Live Music by Nervo...
Essentially, getting older is sort of a bitch.
2009-09-12 16:53:00 Two months from my fortieth birthday, I’ve never looked or felt better. Considering my high school and college years, this is pretty remarkable. I used to scare people with oversized t-shirts, an abrasive attitude, and hair that could withstand fifty-knot winds. But now, after discovering exercise, obtaining a decent wardrobe allowance and growing my hair *down* instead of *out*, I’ve finally become a bit of a babe. So naturally something’s wrong. One could make an argument that Katie’s Super-Healthy status took a dive four years ago when my platelets hauled ass. More recently, I faced my first abnormal pap smear. Last Monday, I dealt with the indignity of a colposcopy without cocktails. Then, after several days of worrying and revising my eulogy, I got a call from my gynecologist’s medical assistant. She said no signs of cancerous cells can be seen up in my lovely. “The results are essentially negative.” Blink. Blink. Blink. “Essentia... More About: Bitch , Sort
How to explain 9/11 to children
2009-09-11 14:19:00 I wrote this three years ago for The Trib. Parents prepare for certain questions when their children begin elementary school. My husband and I were no different, role-playing routines for the inevitable “Where do babies come from?” and “Is there really a tooth fairy?” However, nothing prepared me for last week’s inquiry. “Mommy, do you know what happened on September 11th?” My twin sons were eighteen months old on 09.11.01. Only six now, I hadn’t thought about discussing the particular horrors of 9/11 with them. Not yet anyway. When they’re older, I will take out newspaper clippings, magazine articles and even a few documentaries that might help explain the events of that day. For now, my child’s simple question stumped me. As I drove home, no quick or comforting answers came to mind. We pulled into our driveway and I turned around to face them. “Yes, sweetie, I know about September 11th,” I finally said. “Do you?” My youngest son nodded. “Bad men ... More About: Children
Fallout from President Obama’s speech
2009-09-09 20:08:00 Yesterday was crazy. The first day back after a long weekend, I tried to motivate my exhausted kids to hustle in the morning and instead ended up cursing about teeth in need of brushing, toilets in need of flushing, and one mommy in need of medication. Crazy. After dropping my boys off at school, I fought traffic jams next to psychopaths who make New Jersey drivers seem well-adjusted. Got to work and spilled hummus all over the entrance to my office building. Bent down to clean it and flashed half the men inside. Two complained. Five minutes later, I encountered a roach near my desk the size of a small rat. Left work and drove to the post office only to find a forty-five minute line in front of me. While waiting and daydreaming about happy hour, I overheard two young women discussing the “indoct-eran-nay-tion” of our youngsters. These southern belles who stay at home with their kids, spending hours engaged in stimulating conversations about how to fake an orgasm, long to... More About: President , Obama , Speech , Fallout
Almost Time for Boobie-Thon
2009-09-08 22:40:00 Back in 2006, I was asked to participate in a campaign where bloggers bare their boobies to raise money for breast cancer. Please. They had me at “bare.” My entries usually have a campaign feel to them. Last year, I was all about Barack Obama. (You have to donate money to see me without the stickers.) This year, I am taking suggestions from you. The pictures are due October 1-7th. What should I do to help stomp out this dreaded disease that killed one of my favorite cousins ten years ago and has just recently attacked one of my dearest friends? Seriously. I want to get this fucker. Chocolate syrup and whipped cream? Stickers for health care reform? Someone’s tongue? You decide. More About: Time
The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation needs your help
2009-09-08 19:01:00 While I sit here waiting for my doctor to call, thinking about others and the way in which we can help people in need is a welcome distraction. But I’ll get to this year’s Boobie-Thon later. For now, here’s your chance, Bucs fans -prove you are good for something besides public drunkenness and spreading STDs! If you are interested in purchasing tickets: 1. Call the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation : 813-374-9041 2. Mail a check to the CFF Tampa Chapter, 5100 West Kennedy Blvd. Suite 195, Tampa, FL 33609 3. Buy online: Click here to purchase tickets!
Why does a naked Glamour model’s tummy roll make us feel anything?
2009-09-07 19:46:00 If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. – Desiderata I have lots of girl friends – tall, short, thin, fat. Ask if we love ourselves and the reply depends on the day. Sometimes we wake up feeling like Darryl Hannah circa 1984 and sometimes we wake up feeling like Darryl Hannah circa 2009. Who feels like she has the perfect body? No one I know. Even those of us who’ve paid for improvements aren’t delusional. Yet most of my girls feel comfortable in their own skin, despite imperfections sometimes only we see, and happily live, breathe, eat, drink, laugh, and love. Just because someone doesn’t want to get into a bathing suit or fuck with the lights on doesn’t mean they aren’t comfortable or knee-deep in self-love. It sometimes just means they haven’t had enough to drink yet. So get off them. Lizzi Miller, a twenty year-old model, posed for a pict... More About: Model , Roll , Make , Glamour , Feel
Why do Florida Republicans hate education?
2009-09-04 03:49:00 Is Jim Greer high? Seriously. I want to know. Is he making bad choices once again fueled by late-night hanky pank and too much booger-sugar? How else would you explain this rant, rated “Pants on Fire” by PolitiFact, for so obscuring what is, at heart, a positive message from the President of the United States to schoolchildren about the importance of getting a good education? Check it. This is part of what Greer had to say: “The idea that schoolchildren across our nation will be forced to watch the president justify his plans for government-run health care, banks, and automobile companies, increasing taxes on those who create jobs, and racking up more debt than any other president, is not only infuriating, but goes against beliefs of the majority of Americans, while bypassing American parents through an invasive abuse of power,” he added. This detour into Glenn Beck-Land is not surprising. Under Jim Greer’s embarrassing leadership, the Florida Republic... More About: Education , Republicans , Hate
How to enjoy a colposcopy
More articles from this author:2009-09-03 00:18:00 Come on – cold fingers, cold instruments, and one rather large telescope all up your hoo-ha at the same time – what’s not to like? Oh wait. They aren’t dimming the lights or strategically placing that telescope just so? Color me embarrassed. Maybe enjoy is a bit of an exaggeration, huh? Okay. Still. It doesn’t have to be as bad you might imagine. (Hear that? It’s the sound of men coughing uncomfortably or laughing nervously. Let’s face it. They don’t like reading about our naughty bits unless the story involves their penis in a supporting role. Let them go. They’re hopeless anyway.) If you get a call from your doctor saying they have to take a look at the *funk* up in your *junk,* here’s how to get through a colposcopy without unraveling psychologically. Try not to imagine the worst: If you are sitting at the bar with a drink in your hand making eyes at a man who looks like Bradley Cooper while he makes his way toward you,... More About: Enjoy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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