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I've Got The Light Bulb Flashing At The Top Of My Head
2006-12-17 06:47:02
"How the Grinchenberg F*cked Chanukah" All week long the boys left voicemail messages akin to: "Hi daddy, we really miss you. We love you. Three more days 'till Chanukah!" "Hi daddy, it's me. Wish you were here. I miss and love you. Can't wait until Chanukah! Woo Hoo!" They have been hearing Jingle Bells since Thanksgiving. Teachers don't really "do" menorahs so my children color pictures of Frosty instead. But we prepped them. They know they drill. Eight days of Chanukah. Starts Friday. And so on. They get in the car on the way home tonight and ask, "Mommy, tonight is the first night of Chanukah, right?" "Yes babies, tonight is latkes and songs and candles and books!" Dead silence. "Books?" The moaning started off low, then it started to grow. Husband called and expected happiness. Instead he got wails. "Wow, Kate, that's a bit of a shock." "I like books. I don't understand the problem." "Sure. Maybe tomorrow or something. The first night could be Fun Night, right? They'v...
More About: Flash , Light , Head , Lash , Shin

My Little Slice of Life
2006-12-15 12:44:02
Chanukah. Eight crazy nights. In our house, we break it down with a different theme each evening. Try these ideas and add them to your own celebration: 1st Night - Books: They are a treasure and more valuable than jewelry. You heard me. Old, new, paperback, hard cover - doesn't matter. Whenever someone asks about movies for my children, I politely ask them to get books instead. A book is always better than the movie anyway. 2nd Night - Practical: Underwear. Socks. Sweaters. Important stuff. 3rd Night - Fun: Has to be something enjoyable. No other redeeming value necessary. 4th Night - Homemade: The gift must be our own creation. Poem. Rant. Rave. Or stick figures glued together and colored with Crayola's finest. More than likely these are future decorations to be stored away and taken out each December until the kids graduate college. Gifts that keep on giving. 5th Night - Charity: We bust open the piggy banks and donate some money to a worthy cause. We talk about why Joshua Hous...
More About: Life , Little , Litt , Slice

You Reap What You Sow
2006-12-14 18:43:01
Big changes in store for high schools in this area. Changes that will negatively affect all of us. My opinion is forthcoming. Screwed, I tell ya. Screwed.
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I'm In
2006-12-14 06:42:01
Jim Davis will be on CNN this Thursday, Dec. 14, at 7 pm. He will be a guest on Lou Dobbs' War on the Middle Class Town Hall, being held in Tampa. Wanna relax in front of the television, eat popcorn and dream of what coulda been? Me, too. See you then.

Song for Junior
2006-12-14 06:42:01
A friend of mine is trying to raise money for this little boy named Joey, by selling the following items to interested buyers. Joey's dad passed away a few years ago and his mom isn't in the picture, therefore all proceeds will go to Joey's college fund. Buc's Jacket (XL) Amp Soundwave 65 - Ibanez Tama Rockstar - complete drumset Extra pedals Zildjian Cymbals-16 in. Rock Crash16 in. Acustom Rockcrash16 in. Med Crash20 in. Ping Ride14 in. Hi Hat8 in. Acustom Splash Will sell pieces separate or together. Please contact Ken at 813-785-6939. Go ahead and make him an offer. Or email this post to someone who might. For Joey. Happy Holidays.
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Ah Yeah, That's Me
2006-12-12 12:39:04
Years ago, my friends and I watched Broadcast News. Favorite scene: Holly Hunter tells her boss a thing or two and he says, "It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room." Holly Hunter cries and says, "No. It's awful." My friends pointed at me and laughed. Yes. I'm so in touch with that emotion. When people ask why I'm a vegetarian, I often say, "Got an hour?" Seriously, there are several reasons, but basically I don't dig on flesh because a vegetarian diet is better for my health, better for the animals, and better for the planet. If someone wants to rant that meat doesn't do harm to heart, arteries, blood pressure and sex drive, I point to the other reasons. Someone else attacks the idea that animals weren't put here for our consumption, fine. What about the other issues? Now there is news that backs up my third point. Eating dead animals harms our home. I am always right. And it's a damn tough burden to bear.
More About: Hat , That , Yeah

Gettin' Live on the Spot
2006-12-12 12:39:04
Updates are in order. A while back, I related a story about my friend's miracle pregnancy. Her miracle baby girl is doing well and keeping everyone up at night. I do believe their circle is now complete. And another has just begun. Remember when my sister was looking forward to a serene and beautiful pregnancy? I tried to inject some reality, but she wouldn't listen. Good for her. Michele remained beautiful and positive and gave birth to my nephew last night. About a week after her due date and nearly twenty-four hours of labor. Motherhood's a b*tch. Welcome.
More About: Spot , Live , On The Spot , Live O

Old School Flavor
2006-12-11 18:37:01
'Tis the season for this particular blast from the past. Enjoy. Or not. Completely up to you.
More About: School , Old School , Flavor

Riddle Me This, My Brother
2006-12-11 00:36:01
I had this conversation with Bro Mein last night: Me: (answering the phone) Brother . Him: Husband is in Colorado. Kids are with Grandpa. And you're at home? What the f*ck, Kate. Spitfire Grill on cable? Me: I'm going out. Him: Yeah. To Blockbuster. So, our sister still pregnant? Me: Due any second. I have some news. Him: Hit me. Me: A family from Great Britain wants to rent our house for a year. Him: Yeah? Me: Yeah, well, we'll see what happens. They say they want the house by the end ofDecember, but they gotta check out, cough up the dough. They might even want toup the rent if we leave everything here. Him: You willing to part with your sh*t for a whole year? What about that f*cked up chair and your Bon Jovi collection? Me: They're not getting my toys. Other wise I'm fine with at least six months of not having to pay storage. Him: And what happens to you? Me: I'll stay here. Him: Yeah. Where's here? Me: Tampa. I gave my word at work to stay until June. Him: I'll ask again...
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All I Really Want is Girls
2006-12-10 12:35:01
For a good laugh, visit Jeff's defense of funny females. The first clip alone, from My Name is Earl, will give you lasting giggles. Amazingly, Jeff includes every woman who's ever made me laugh hysterically. I do believe Kathy Griffin is the only missing link. So here she is. And yes I'm in there, too. Which means Jeff is back on my list. To hell with processed cheese spray.
More About: Girls , Girl , Real , Want , Really

Don't Even Get Me Started...
2006-12-09 00:33:02
What a difference a day makes. Youngest says, "I love you, Mommy," and gives me this creation. Oldest shows me his love letter. That's sweetest to me and you. Who's teary-eyed now?
More About: Arte , Start , Star , Tart

Chosen Bound
2006-12-09 00:33:02
Don't hate us because we're smart, funny, and great in bed. We're better than you in more ways than that. Mazel Tov!
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Smoke the Holy Chalice
2006-12-07 12:32:01
This child's views on culture and religion is causing quite an uproar. Of course, Bill O'Reilly is crying child abuse. Watch this trailer and weigh in: Is there a difference between the two? Which is worse? Explain it to me, please. I'd love for you to try.
More About: Smoke , Halic , Hali , Holy

All This Cheese Gonna Make Me Cry
2006-12-07 06:31:01
I'm about done with emotional males. I mean, enough already. Take this for what it's worth, I'm an acting-single parent trying to raise two little boys in a messed up world. I'm a little to the left - rejecting gender stereotypes and encouraging these future men to get in touch with their emotions and, by all means, let it out. However, I'm a bit daunted by all the godd*mned boo-hoos. Tonight's
More About: Cheese , This , Make , Gonna

Kick it Over Here Baby Pop
2006-12-06 12:29:01
Shopping season is upon us. Only a few weeks left to find that perfect gift. I prefer to give and receive books. We even devote one night of Chanukah to such treasures - Book Night - because used or new, regifted or recycled, fiction or non - doesn't matter. Better than jewelry. You heard me. Funny story: Years ago, Husband bought me a diamond bracelet. I opened the box, smiled andthanked him profusely. The next morning, I grabbed my breakfast banana andsaid, "Can we talk about the bracelet?" "Don't you like it?" heasked. "Elise helped pick it out." "That was your first mistake," Isaid, laughing. "Elise eats veal, wears fur, and sparkles from head-to-toe. Nowher husband you could have asked, he still wears Birkenstocks." Calmdown. Husband wasn't hurt. He's used to me. "You really don't like it?"he asked. "I like it," I said. "I just can't, in good conscience, wearit. Too many starving people in the world." "Well," he said, "youweren't born a Jewish girl. That's for sure." ...
More About: Baby , Pop , Over , Here , Kick

Put a Quarter in Your *ss Cause You Played Yourself
2006-12-05 18:27:01
Listen up, folks, cause I'm about to break some rather important news, a scandal really, the likes of which haven't been seen since...well...last week within the Bush administration. A group of grown men are cheating in Fantasy Football. I know. Shocking. Seems Husband, who's a lot like me except normally kind and considerate, belongs to a league with grown men who find it necessary to sit their starters. You heard me. Sit. Their. Starters. WHAT THE F*CK HAS THIS WORLD COME TO? Husband tried to talk some sense into them: Come on guys...let's man up and adhere to the "gentleman's" agreement that we won't give up and sit our starters. Just because your season's over doesn't mean everyone's is. Don't take your nerf balls and go home quite yet fellas. Season is not over... Someone with a guilty conscience offered this rebuttal: Vagina Whining Pointless - Maybe the reason you're not winning is because you don't know who to start. Either way, your whining amounts to no dif...
More About: Play , Yourself , Arte , Self , Your

Something's Really Wrong
2006-12-05 00:25:02
I'm always on the lookout for stories about my future home: Colorado. This time of year, most of the news is predictable: Colorado Springs has freezing temperatures. Some of it is bizarre: jammed garage doors. And some of it is heartbreaking, like this article about an unfortunate victim of abuse and a jail-happy Colorado culture. When a young man is violated by his parents in gruesome and savage ways, how should he react when the state refuses to take action? The kid in question killed his mother and will live the rest of his life in prison as a result. We must learn from Nate Ybanez. His experiences could help change destructive policies that leave all kinds of children behind - changes that would make both Colorado and our country a better place for abused children and everyone else as well. We can learn from criminals. We can learn to prevent future crimes by getting at the real reasons many "bad guys" strike in the first place. Jails provide an ugly but necessary service....
More About: Methi , Real , Wrong , Something , Thing

And I Thought it was Known
2006-12-04 12:24:01
Animals were not put on this earth for our entertainment. Go ahead and roll your eyes. A killer whale has a bad morning, no one picks up on her grumpiness so she drags her trainer to the bottom of a pool and almost kills him. Who do I feel sorry for? The whale. These creatures swim thousands of miles every day and are now kept captive inside a tiny pool, trained to jump and make spectacles of themselves for a bunch of mouthbreathers. Sea World, the circus and rodeos - boycott them all.
More About: Thought , Know

A Lot of People Making Music
2006-12-02 18:21:03
"Ms. Robinson, you got any Chanukah music?" My students ask lots of questions this time of year. They can't help themselves. "Well," I said, "Adam Sandler songs are fun. I personally enjoy that South Park tune about Kyle." Long pause. "I do believe that's all we got," I said. Then John sent me this delightful ditty. So now we got three. Enough nog in me and I might even sing along.
More About: Music , People , King , Maki , Makin

When the Snow is Fallin' then I am Gone
2006-12-02 18:21:03
My favorite brother - okay, my only brother - sent this email. Seems our former Florida boy is freaking out. Dear loved ones, Please help us. Wife and I are in serious trouble and we need your help... Crushed Ice is falling from the sky here in Kansas City. Since we are from Florida and ill-equipped to deal with this situation we are seeking your assistance. My mom says that "Brandy
More About: Alli , Snow , Gone , When , Fall

Just One Thing Do You Know
2006-12-02 18:21:03
Youngest came home with a flyer from his teacher asking parents to purchase a book called: What We Are Thankful For... Seems every child in the class writes a few sentences on their life's blessings, a publisher packages it together and peddles it to parents for a mere $18.75. But really, who can put a pricetag on priceless memories? Not me. And I didn't even act bitter when realizing my six
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I've Been in Your Bathroom Often
2006-12-02 18:21:03
I'm all about humor that packs a punch. Caught Borat this weekend and laughed uproariously at just about every scene. Why are people so up in arms? Of course, I looked over at my mother several times and wondered what possessed me to drag her along. Damn near a nun, she's the last of the ladies, and doesn't quite get testicles-on-moustache hijinks. Nonetheless, she was a trooper and squeaked out
More About: Bath , Bathroom , Your , Room , Been

There's a Commotion
2006-12-02 18:21:03
The thrust of this article is stem-cell research and whether Florida should fund such research. With its potential to cure so many diseases, funding stem cell research should be a no-brainer - which is why the religious right is against it. In fact, they're against using "the brain" altogether. Two amendments will likely appear on the '08 ballot - one for state funding and the other against it. I
More About: Here , Motion , Comm , There

Mid-Life Crisis War Unfolds
2006-12-02 18:21:03
File under "Give Peace a Chance" from my future home state, Colorado: Subdivision Bans Wreath With Peace Sign Homeowner Defies Board, Faces About $1000 in Fines By ROBERT WELLER, AP DENVER (Nov. 26) - A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti-Iraq war protest or a
More About: Life , War , Crisis , Isis , Cris

Catch the Crew Rhymin'
2006-12-02 18:21:03
The last poem I ever wrote dated 08.19.90: I don't want to cry and yell But we all must realize Now's the time for show and tell It's time to dry our eyes - FIGHT BACK! against brutality Ignorance and fear Nightmares aren't reality We need to make that clear - No longer victims of the truth We show we know what's right Give the doubters all our proof Then they'll join us to fight - Empathy
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She's Always Down
2006-12-02 18:21:03
Remember when I found my old diary? Oh, the joy your favorite blogger felt when forcing everyone to relive painful childhood issues here, here, and here. I finally stopped with the 80s fixation here. Kidding! The fun continues here and here. Great times. No one loves these memory moments more than Becky. Cause I drag out pictures and hardly have any where I'm alone. Beck is almost always by my
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No Sleep 'Till...
2006-12-02 18:21:03
Will we ever sell our home? Doesn't look good. My neighbor has a wacky way of guessing certain things. For example, I called her up one afternoon out of the blue. "Guess what I did today?" I asked. "Brazilian wax!" she said. (Long pause.) "How the hell did you know that?" I asked. "I only told my co-workers and -" "I had a feeling." Gave no hint of my waxing adventures and yet she guessed
More About: Sleep

Feel the Beat
2006-11-21 17:15:04
A dear friend is not a fan of rap music. I don?t blame him, really. He?s a forty-something white man who voted for Reagan. Ice-T must scare the sh*t out of him. (Lyrics are still frightening.) He equates rap with artists like Jay-Z and 50 Cent. While such artists are the face of the genre today, they don?t personify the true talent that began hip-hop music.Like most white thirty-somethings, rap music came to me in the late Eighties and I fell for the vocal stylings of Run-DMC. Beastie Boys weren?t far behind and I?ve stuck by my three favorite Jewish boys through thick and thin. They started out when they and I were kids and I responded to their tales of rebellion, wasting time, and annoying teachers.Through the years, their music reflected my own growing awareness about political issues, social justice, and even the importance of saying thank you. (Lyrics here.) In other words, we grew up together. Adrock, MCA, and Mike D are my own personal George/Ringo/John. (Don?t get me started...
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Check Your Head
2006-11-05 03:18:03
Early voting ended today. Election Day is Tuesday, November 7th and the polls are open from 7am-7pm. I did my part. Make sure you do yours!
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Due Time
2006-11-02 15:03:02
John Kerry told the truth. Our pathetic POTUS tried to jump all over it. Kerry slapped him down. I did a dance. Democrats are growing some balls and fighting back! Not so much. Damn.
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