Out in Left FieldOut in Left FieldWhere parenting and politics meet, but don't always play nice. 
Articles
Where do your Senators stand on health care reform?
2009-07-15 21:39:00 Healthcare reform legislation is ready for its closeup in the U.S. Senate. And although the House seems to recognize the need for action right now, members of the Senate are dragging their collective ass. As always, it’s up to us. Get your senator on the record about the specifics of a public healthcare option. If Senator Nelson and Senator Martinez are going to help pass a robust public healthcare option, available to everyone in America, they will do so only because we demand it. Those outside Florida should get involved as well. Ask your Senators: Do you - 1. Support a public healthcare option as part of reform? 2. Support a public healthcare option that is ready on day one? 3. Support a public healthcare option that is national, available everywhere, and accountable to our government? 4. Support a public healthcare option that has the clout to establish rates with providers and big drug companies? See what they say. Our health depends on it. More About: Health , Health Care , Reform , Care , Stand
Religion is Fashionable Nonsense
2009-07-15 03:34:00 Belief: Something it is taboo to challenge, question, reject, much less criticize or mock. When the adjective ‘cherished’ is added, this effect is doubled. When we are afraid to criticize a religion’s attempt to oppress women, then we are a part of the problem. It’s not okay for any religion to demand that a woman cover herself. Got that? If you agree and feel haughty for a moment, think about your own religion and the way it’s oppressed women and others throughout the years. It’s no goddamn better. That’s right. *You* are no goddamn better. You live your life by the Bible – the same book that defends child rape? You can’t think of any other book that’s more worthy? I got a few. But it requires more brain cells than it takes to just sit there and mumble, “Amen.” So I’ll do the work for you. One of my favorite parts of a recent documentary on the subject suggests that if you belonged to a group with the s... More About: Religion , Nonsense , Fashionable
Protesting Channel 8 – Despite Misgivings and Heat that Could Kill a
2009-07-14 00:05:00 http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcjc/ / CC BY 2.0 I tried to talk them out of it, but the local gay rights community will be protesting Channel 8 on Wednesday. Outraged?! Show Up Wednesday, 5PM. 200 S Parker St, Tampa Click here for directions WFLA says this hateful infomercial didn’t “raise any red flags.” Let’s raise red flags they can’t miss this time. Wear a Red T-shirt. Bring a Red Flag. Help us fight these lies- we can’t do it without YOU! My pitch? We produce our own documentary infomercial. Using humor and intelligence, we could craft quite the response to Silencing Christians. Of course, it’d be in good taste – although I’m not above a cameo where I flash my ta-tas or explain why tolerant girls are hotter. Besides, a program put together by Equality Florida and St. Pete Pride would be a better response than standing around in the heat, waving signs and shouting slogans. Although. Shouting slogans *is* a great way to get laid. And... More About: Heat , Kill
Support the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009
2009-07-08 18:16:00 http://www.flickr.com/photos/jiadoldol/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 I agree that all violent crimes are crimes of hate. They are all abhorrent. They are all to be prevented. In addition, crimes motivated by bigotry, racism, and prejudice are so abhorrent that society should rally against them and declare the motivations crimes as well. This distinction illustrates how certain values are not acceptable in our communities. This distinction shows what kind of society we live in and what we aspire to be. Since 9/11, more Americans have been killed by right-wing extremists than by any other terrorist group in the world. Hate rs with intent to kill must be stopped on many different levels by any means necessary. This bill will expand the current federal hate crimes law to include any violence based on a victim’s real or perceived sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. The Department of Justice will have the power to go after bias-motivated offenses and give important federal assis... More About: Support , Prevention , Hate Crimes , Crimes
The Jackson Family to Michael Jackson’s daughter: “It’s o
2009-07-08 02:18:00 Miss me? I’ve been out of the loop, going crazy actually, and today, when I come up for air, this is what I get: Obviously. I don’t know from crazy. MTV Shows Who puts a crying child on national television? How many of those mourners scorned Michael Jackson and wouldn’t even return his phone calls for the last ten years? When the hell did Auntie Janet get Oprah-arms? Is Reverend Al Sharpton ever *not* entertaining? Good lord. Those kids don’t have a chance in hell. More About: Family , Daughter
An idea for celebrating Independence Day with your kids
2009-07-03 03:02:00 “That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States” What is the most important Independence Day tradition? “Celebrating Julie’s birthday!” “Fireworks!” “Barbecue garden burgers!” “Beer!” Ummm, no. Although Julie’s birthday is tempting and I’d be there if I wasn’t knee-deep in moving boxes and looking to bust out of my parent’s house…for good this time. No, the reason for this particular season is The Declaration of Independence, people. A beautiful piece of poetry, this document deserves to be read *out loud* at least once a year to your children, loved ones – hell, even to yourself. Yes, fireworks and parties are fun, but that’s not the reason for the season. Our forefathers and their wives were wicked brave and, to honor them, we should understand why they stepped to the British monarchy in the first place. Then go blow off body parts. If you don’t have a copy at hom... More About: Kids , Idea , Independence Day
Are local agencies responsible for Jasmine Bedwell’s baby’s dea
2009-07-02 02:34:00 A young girl, Jasmine Bedwell, is abused. Her mother is incompetent, so the girl is turned over to the state and made a foster child. At 17, she drops out of school and gives birth to a baby boy, Emanuel Murray. Within three months, she gets herself a new boyfriend named Richard McTear, who turns violent. McTear beats her and Emanuel, so Jasmine files a restraining order against him. Jasmine promises case workers that she’ll follow through on a court order, but doesn’t. McTear breaks into Jasmine’s apartment, throws Emanuel on the concrete floor, and then kidnaps the child only to throw him out of a moving vehicle on I-275. Emanuel dies. Jasmine Bedwell is now suing the Department of Children & Families, Hillsborough Kids Inc. and the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office. She says they are responsible for her baby’s death. She even blames the apartment complex where she lives. It’s everyone’s fault, but her own. Today, Jasmine is arrest... More About: Baby , Local , Agencies
Not Sure if This is Because They are Home-Schooled or Because They Live in
2009-07-01 03:53:00 Either way…dumbasses make me laugh. h/t Adam More About: Home , Live , They Live
Support Gay Rights, Not Censorship
2009-06-30 04:14:00 http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcjc/ / CC BY 2.0 As we remember Stonewall and the beginning of the modern gay rights movement, the progressive community is understandably frustrated with the pace of our administration in bringing about real change. They have a point. Enough already with the military’s ridiculous “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. And it’s about time we legalize gay marriage. Yet after the stunning parades this weekend and the first official recognition of the movement by a sitting working US President, I’m filled with more hope than ever before. Which is why I didn’t allow my blood pressure to rise when WFLA/News Channel 8 aired an “it would be disturbing if it weren’t so silly” documentaryinfomercial Saturday night about wicked gays trying to silence Christians. I urged my fellow libs to take deep breaths and see this program for what it was – a spoiled brat stomping his feet and holding his breath ... More About: Censorship , Rights , Gay Rights , Support
How to Survive Living at Home With Your Parents…When You are Almost
2009-06-28 02:49:00 If you find yourself back home with the ‘rents while looking for a place to live, towing a spouse and two kids behind you, here’s how to get through the experience with some style and grace. What makes me an expert? One time I yelled “NASCAR isn’t a sport!” Just last week I tasted Mom’s leftovers, accidentally ate bacon, and ended up on the toilet for three hours. Don’t get me started about where I mistakenly stored my love toys. (Hint: Stay away from dresser drawers marked Rosary Collection.) Style and grace. Trust me. Here we go. 1. Pretend you are deaf and blind. This is especially helpful if you are a converted Jew who hardly believes in God and your parents are devout Catholics. Just pretend you don’t hear the nightly chanting of the rosary. Make believe you can’t see Jesus looking at you in every room. Ignore kids’ questions like, “What’s wrong with Nana?” But be careful when moving about in the Ho... More About: Living , Home , Parents , Survive
Stop Staring at my Tweets – Ongoing
2009-06-26 12:39:00 On Facebook and Twitter, this is how my friends and I reacted to, in the immortal words of Winona Ryder, *all this death.* Marc: R.I.P. Farrah. Oh how I used to hold your poster with one hand… Kate: Anal cancer? Is the HPV virus a risk factor for this as well? Is this yet another reason to say no to up-the-boom-boom hankypank? Aimee B: Michael Jackson, dead @ 50. Michael Jackson’s nose, dead at 26. Michael’s chin, dead at 17. Michael’s cheeks, dead at 5. Jeff: Should be quite a Motown funeral for Michael Jackson… Except for Elton John singing “Goodbye Billie Jean.” Marc: R.I.P. Jacko. Saw KMart is already honoring you with boys’ underwear half off! Too soon? Jocelyn: CNN has their UN correspondent covering the crowds at the Apollo mourning Michael Jackson. Picture Ben Stein at the BET Hip Hop Awards. Jeff: News reports say Jermaine showed up at the hospital carrying Emmanuel Lewis. :::awkward::: Marc: McMahon, Fawcett, Jackson, Poss... More About: Stop , Staring
Worst Pickup Line Ever: What’s in your Chipotle burrito?
2009-06-25 23:56:00 Answer: Nothin’ right now, baby. You wanna be? Oh. My bad. Turns out it’s not a pickup line, but a serious call to action. Color me embarrassed… Chipotle swears they serve food with integrity, but in reality the Florida farmworkers who pick many of Chipotle’s tomatoes have one of the worst jobs in America. And in a country where people actually make a living driving other people from one side of the mountains in Wyoming to another, with nothing but Toby Keith and Glenn Beck on the radio, that’s really sayin’ something. These tomato-pickers suffer through sub-poverty wages, inhumane labor that leads to scores of medical problems, and exploitation that makes the grapepickers in Depression-era California seem taken care of by comparison. …from American Rights at Work: More than two dozen leading writers, organizers, filmmakers, and farmers have called on Chipotle to do the right thing. The list includes Eric Schlosser, writer and director of... More About: Line , Pickup
Ralph Hughes, Brian Blair, and Mark Sanford Prove Themselves Typical
2009-06-25 02:48:00 Three Republicans continue The Suck. Ralph Hughes died owing more than $60 million in back taxes. Brian Blair beat the shit out of his teenage sons on Father’s Day. Mark Sanford cheated on his wife. None of this surprises me. A rich man gets greedy and leaves his heirs to deal with the consequences? Yawn. Wake me when Wall Street 2 comes out. A former wrestler produces two problem children and beats them when they turn out like their old man? Yawn. Wake me when Brian Blair and Hulk Hogan star in their own reality show. And I don’t even care about what Mark Sanford does…I mean, have you seen his wife or heard her go on and on about The Lord? Christ. Don’t cry for him, Argentina. I try very hard not to get angry about what is typical.What really pisses me off is the goddamn hypocrisy. Ralph Hughes, Mr. Moral Courage Award, supported politicians who railed against welfare moms and illegal immigrants. He hailed himself as fiscally conservative and hated peop...
Tampa City Councilman Charlie Miranda Wants Us to Drink Shit
2009-06-24 14:57:00 Charlie Miranda has come up with a plan to turn hundreds of millions of gallons of wastewater into drinking water. All in the name of self-sufficiency. Yes, we are in the middle of a drought. But we aren’t desperate. In 2005, the U.S. Geological Survey conducted a study of the treated wastewater from the city’s Howard F. Curren Wastewater Treatment Plant and found 27 different kinds of micropollutants in the recycled water even after it passed through a filtration process. A plan to punish South Tampa homeowners who refuse to use reclaimed water on their lawns is the way to go. That’s right, let’s go after Buffy and Thurston. But if we’re having a hard time getting the goober smoochers to use this water on grass, imagine the trouble with getting them to put it into their bodies. Would you drink it? Retreated water contains nitrogen, steroids, antibiotics…and shit. Is this the best that Miranda can do? Tell Charlie Miranda that if he can’t ... More About: Drink , City , Shit , Charlie
Renewable Fuel Standard Should Be Based On Science – Not Special Inte
2009-06-21 20:39:00 Biofuels aren’t all bad. I’m not a huge fan of corn ethanol, but scientists believe it can help cut back global warming emissions from vehicles. So fine, let’s put a few of our resources and dollars behind it. But we certainly shouldn’t spend billions converting forests and grasslands to farmlands in order to grow crops for fuel. It’s a huge waste of funding and, even worse, such irresponsibility will lead to outrageous pollution. Lobbyists are working overtime in order to pressure the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to ignore…science… when creating the Renewable Fuel Standard . This is the first global warming pollution criteria for the United States dealing with ethanol, biodiesel, and other renewable fuels. In order to fix this situation and help protect our planet, we need to speak louder than the lobbyists. The EPA is holding a public comment period through July 27 on these proposed standards. Use this opportunity to contact Adm... More About: Science , Special
For the Love of Christ, What is Up with Q105?
2009-06-16 00:59:00 I grew up listening to Q105. That’s right, before I developed taste in music, I would tune in regularly to WRBQ, Morning Zoo, and Mason Dixon with his recorded laughter tracks. If you peered into my bedroom circa 1984, you’d certainly find me singing along with safe standards like The Fixx, Michael Jackson, and Cyndi Lauper. Oh. The. Horror. Eventually I discovered WMNF, mixed tapes, and the Cuban Club. When Cathy and I started prank calling the station back in 1986…Amber and Shandi lives…the end was quick and painless. I soon forgot all about Top 40 radio, its censored, dissected tunes that represented the lamest of corporate rock, and never looked back. Q105 was dead to me. Recently, though, I began listening again. The station now plays Oldies from the 1960s and 1970s and occasionally such songs provide a history lesson from which my kids could learn to appreciate music. Or so I thought. This morning we were driving along, minding our own business, sing... More About: Love , Christ
Vegetarian Mommy Blues
2009-06-13 22:58:00 Nothing strikes more fear in the heart of a vegetarian mother than her child saying, “Mom, I ate a hot dog today.” Oldest laid that one on me the other day and I still haven’t recovered. Their Tae Kwon Do camp had an outdoor barbecue. I explained to the counselors that my children don’t dig on animal flesh and they promised to provide cruelty-free fare. Oldest saw what he believed to be a vegetarian hot dog and, true to form, inhaled it. Youngest, also true to form, actually read the label and before he could get out the words, “Beef. This has beef in it,” Oldest burped. The counselor said, “Kosher doesn’t mean vegetarian?” I almost had a stroke. Who doesn’t know the difference between Kosher and meat-free? “Where the hell are we?” I asked. “Lutz?” Oh right. We are in Lutz. Oldest spent most of the night on the potty. Truth be told, I was disappointed he didn’t get sicker. I wanted a touching ... More About: Vegetarian , Blues , Mommy
Gerrymandering in Florida Must End
2009-06-12 02:48:00 Whenever a new political party, whether Democrat or Republican, grabs the reigns of power, new district lines are drawn. The fat cats in Tallahassee lick their lips and use data revealing voter registration trends and election results to gather together those voters who will keep them in office. The boundaries are often ridiculous, one side of the street represented by one guy while neighbors are represented by someone else. This helps those in power stay in power. When Republicans are the majority, they redraw the lines while Dems cry about it. After a few years, the public gets sick of their shit and elects more Democrats. Then Repubs cry about the new districts that are all of a sudden unfair. This is called “gerrymandering.” Like eating lobster, butchering the English language in a charming way, and spitting on the side of road, this nasty habit hails from the land I love. But I’m ready to see it go. And I’m not the only one. Moderate legislators cannot ... More About: Florida
Hillsborough Residents Speaking Out for Kids and Doggies
2009-06-11 03:32:00 Hillsborough County, like most of the country, is facing a budget shortfall. Officials have to come up with ways to cut at least $144 million in spending. Unfortunately, they won’t go after no-bid vendors or other white collar prostitutes fleecing the Bay area. Instead, commissioners target programs serving our children and abused animals. Because who cares about them? Last night, several hundred concerned residents showed they cared by turning out to speak before the Hillsborough County Commission and voice support for these threatened programs. The Parks, Recreation and Conservation Department hosts after-school programs for families of modest means who would otherwise have no options for child care. Over 3,500 youngsters all over Tampa Bay spend their youth in these parks; many of them work those same programs as teenagers and college students. Several spoke last night and reminded everyone that crime and vandalism would surely increase if area kids weren’t in a safe and... More About: Kids , Speaking , Hillsborough
10 Ways to Survive Facebook
2009-06-09 23:08:00 To maintain good mental health and cut down on panic attacks, one should follow a certain set of rules when using Facebook , Twitter, and other online networking sites. I would argue even the free-for-all, but not-for-you, bulletin boards over at Craigslist demand a certain protocol and code of ethics. For example, Downtown Dolly doesn’t do fecal play. Don’t make her flag your ass. I’m not suggesting we need online security guards to enforce and punish. Rather, policing ourselves seems the way to go. My guidelines should be considered *suggestions* instead of commandments written in stone. View the following as a living list, if you will, sort of like Catechism. Feel free to pull a Pope and add or subtract as you deem necessary. Come on, peeps, you know yourself. What will allow you to interact positively with as many people as possible without wanting to slit your wrists? Adhering to my behavior norms will set you free. Pinky swear. Who am I to offer such advice? I... More About: Survive
Manischewitz, AOL, and Anti-Semitism?
2009-06-09 01:44:00 I belong to an online writers group. For years now, we’ve been trading tips on how to write better and get published. Right. Haven’t learned a thing. But today I got a different sort of email from one of the members. Cowboy Dan* was upset because when he crafted an email using AOL, he referenced Manischewitz wine. The red line reliably showed itself. When passing his cursor over the word, he expected suggestions like Manichean or Manifestation. Perhaps even “get some taste, that shit is whack.” Instead - the suggestions were: “Auschwitz”, “Anti christ”, and “Antichrists.” What the fuck? I thought AOL stood for America On Line, not Against Oy Language. Another writer chimed in that AOL suggested “adoptive” when he typed in “abortive.” Right-wing conspiracy or coincidence? Anti-Semitism or tasteless prank? You decide.
How to Survive Summer Camp - Or Not
2009-06-08 20:46:00 In honor of summertime, one of my Sunday Journal entries published in The St. Petersburg Times… I arrived at summer camp with my sister and an attitude. “Look at the cabins, trees and flowers,” Michele said, full of preteen optimism. A few years older, I knew there was nothing to get excited about. “You think sharing a room with me is bad,” I said. “You’ll be ready to scream after a week with six other girls and no air conditioning. When we go outside for a breath of fresh air, millions of mosquitoes will be there to greet us.” I preferred a performing arts camp in the city where we’d sing, dance, and act for adoring audiences. My mother hoped I would discover something about myself during this weeklong learning experience. I knew better. During our first camp meeting, the counselors outlined policies and procedures. They discussed hikes and other adventures where we’d see and learn about plants, trees, rocks and wildlife.... More About: Summer , Survive , Camp , Summer Camp
St. Pete Pride
2009-06-06 22:16:00 I’m straight, but not narrow. What are you? Whatever you are, join Equality Florida - we are always looking for enthusiastic volunteers who: look good in spandex. care about equality. want to share their enthusiasm with others. can suck-start a Harley from 50 ft. away. know better than to mix plaids and prints. Does that describe you? Me too! Volunteer shifts typically last three hours, and involve flirting, engaging drunk pride-goers, flirting, signing up new members, buying me drinks, flirting, and spreading the word about Equality Florida’s work. Click the link and come get heat stroke with us! More About: Pride , Pete
Stop Looking at my Twits - Ongoing
2009-06-06 15:40:00 Here are some odds and ends, little bits of nonsense that I share with those who follow me on Twitter. So you won’t feel left out and all. Finished yoga, boys asleep, nice glass of wine, beautiful evening…if I could get rid of this gas, life would be fucking perfect. Weird: US papers aren’t reporting about Carradine’s sex games gone wrong; Weirder: I heard about it from Chris Cornell. So sad Valencia Garden is no more. Broke my political cherry at that fine establishment with Julie, Jim Davis, and a well-hidden apple bong. These look like the guys I wanted to date in the 1980s. They weren’t feelin’ me. Today, my wart-free vagina is eternally grateful. Wondering why an agent said my memoir was too steamy. Doesn’t sex sell? I don’t mean to be mean, but literally stop using the word *literally.* It’s starting to hurt my head. And you sound like a douche. More About: Stop
Plagiarizing Principal Tells Springstead High Valedictorian to Rewrite Spee
2009-06-05 01:20:00 If I had a daughter, I’d want her to be a lot like Jem Lugo, a bright and funny senior at Springstead High School in Hernando County. As valedictorian, she was tasked with writing a speech to deliver at her school’s graduation ceremony. I’ve been to several commencement exercises and the speeches given by the smartest kids in class are usually devoid of humor and almost always ignored by the audience. After five years in education and countless ceremonies, not one speech stands out. Jem is a bright girl. She’s heading to Harvard, after all. She researched speeches online and found they were boring and uninspiring. So she decided to be different. For my readers, the story is a familiar one. Using wit and wisdom, she crafted a speech that would make her audience laugh and think. She says she didn’t advocate anything immoral or illegal. Principal Susan Duval went apeshit anyway and decided that her speech had to go. The reason? Jem’s address was too “... More About: Tells
Bob Woodruff, Global Warming, Propaganda, and Frogs
2009-06-04 17:47:00 Bob Woodruff is hosting a television show on ABC called “Earth 2100.” Environmentalists hope dire predictions and a healthy dose of drama spur corrective action. Maybe more people will reduce, reuse, and recycle. Neocons who don’t *believe* in global warming are alarmed and complain that ABC is really just trying to scare the shit out of people. And plug for Obama. Right. The horror. I don’t give a shit if you believe in global warming or not. The bottom line is this - didn’t you learn as a kid to clean up after yourself? Well, human beings have a miserable track record cleaning up after themselves. Whether such messiness leads to our destruction remains a point of contention and debate, but the facts are clear: corporations and people should do more to clean up the planet. So many conservatives are religious and it’s heartening to see young evangelicals use the argument I’ve been using for years - if you believe Earth is a gift from God, w... More About: Global Warming , Propaganda , Global , Frogs
Working At Home With Kids = Mental Freeze
2009-06-03 02:36:00 Summer’s great, isn’t it? Sun shines almost every day, pool is ready when the heat hits, and there’s no rush to do homework or assignments or projects other than maybe to read a good book. So suck on a watermelon and relax. Right. Summer’s fucking great. Meanwhile, this working-from-home, gas-saving, green-living mama can’t get a goddamn thing done with all the relaxing going on around her. Dad retired early thanks to a shit economy and fewer hours at work. Mom has been retired for over a year now. Add in two soon-to-be fourth graders and this little house is feeling smaller by the minute. I know, I know. Husband is no longer commuting and we should really be getting a place of our own. The conundrum? Free babysitting and my mom’s cooking. Withdrawal’s a bitch. Yet there is always a price to be paid, yo. In my case, it’s in the form of destroyed brain cells. Here is a sample of what I’m experiencing while attempting a deadline or two. Join me, won’t ... More About: Kids , Mental , Home , Freeze , Working
The Joys of Parenthood - Ongoing
2009-06-02 02:06:00 When I mentioned to friends and family that I got into my car this morning and discovered a broken windshield, the overwhelming response was, “Who’d you piss off now?” I have to admit that I looked for clues all around the vehicle, but found nothing. Then I remembered my children and the adorable way they practice baseball in the front yard. Sometimes for hours at a time. Shouting. Running. Hitting. Throwing. Lots and lots of throwing. Right near my car. But apparently not a whole lot of catching. “Mama, it looks like that bumper sticker people put on their back windows,” Oldest said. “You know, the one with the fake ball sticking out?” Yeah. Right. Except this one is real. Sorta like my headache. More About: Parenthood
Chapter 21
More articles from this author:2009-06-01 16:17:00 The continuing saga…will Olivia give up her gun for good and retire to life in the slow lane? Stay tuned. More About: Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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