Out in Left FieldOut in Left FieldWhere parenting and politics meet, but don't always play nice. Articles
How to say you’re sorry – apologies before Yom Kippur
2010-09-18 01:13:00 For me, the high holy days this year sorta suck. I can live with the reason, though. I got a great new job. Still, Rosh Hashanah came quickly and I couldn’t take time off. Now I’m in Jersey as Yom Kippur approaches and tomorrow will spend The Day of Atonement in Philadelphia, surrounded by goyim ...
Multiple winner in Creative Loafing’s Best of the Bay Readers Poll
2010-09-17 01:22:00 I couldn’t attend The Loafies Wednesday night, because I’m stuck in New Jersey, drowning in a sea of “apples to apples,” “soup to nuts,” and “not for nothin’.” No disrespect. My editor back in Tampa wondered if anyone was willing to go to Creative Loafing’s annual awards show in my place. I asked around and people ... More About: Readers , Poll , Winner
The joys and sorrows of being away from home
2010-09-15 14:34:00 From nine to five, I can usually be found in downtown Tampa and surrounding areas, unruly mop of hair fashioned into a semi-unruly bun on top of my head, curls cascading down to mask an unusually large forehead. I wear suits and wedge heels, all the while cursing whoever invented suits and wedge heels. I ... More About: Home
Remember when our kids were cute and adorable and almost bit each other&rsq
2010-09-10 02:43:00 Cause the good old days weren’t always good, and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems All it takes is a stubbornly independent preteen and easily accessible photo albums or home movies for moms and dads to slip into the warm tub of nostalgia. Parents often find themselves thinking back and reminiscing about when their kids were ... More About: Cute , Kids
Apples dipped in honey, what’s not to like?
2010-09-05 20:41:00 The holiest days of the year are approaching and you know what that means! Every year before Rosh Hashanah, synagogues send tickets to members for High Holy Day services. Non-members in the Tampa Bay area usually pay around $200. That’s right. Local Jews pay that kind of money for tickets to a show that doesn’t ... More About: Honey , Apples
Explaining 9/11 to kids
2010-09-03 22:49:00 Back when my boys were six years old. Parents prepare for certain questions when their children begin elementary school. My husband and I were no different, role-playing routines for the inevitable “Where do babies come from?” and “Who is this Santa character?” However, nothing prepared me for last week’s inquiry. “Mommy, do you know what ... More About: Kids
Tween this
2010-09-02 02:49:00 When I first heard the term, I thought, “What the hell is a tween?” Then someone explained that tweens are kids who find themselves in that crazy stage between sippy cups and wine coolers, cartoons on Saturday mornings and unprotected sex on Saturday nights. Back in the dark ages of the early 1980s, when I ...
This microwave may or may not be safe – anyone got a canary?
2010-08-29 17:29:00 Approximately two weeks ago, the scene in our kitchen was a lot like scenes in any other kitchen where three generations try to find something to eat without killing each other. In front of the microwave, my kids lined up with their oatmeal, behind Husband with his coffee, behind Mom with her tea, and behind ...
Can’t you read the signs?
2010-08-27 22:06:00 I’m a big believer in analysis. Life doesn’t always come at us in obvious ways; most of the time we have to be able to see messages from beyond in the subtlety of signs. It isn’t easy. When I walk two blocks from the office, why do I get lost walking back? I am able ... More About: Read , Signs
Summer vacation is over – hold your applause, I still can’t hear myself
2010-08-25 03:22:00 In these parts, lazy days of summer have mercifully come to an end. Just a few days ago, as the weather grew ever more humid and children tried to make the last few hours of fun last and last, the rest of us came perilously close to court-ordered commitment hearings. Frustrated moms threatened to leave ... More About: Summer , Vacation , Hear , Applause
People say it’s hard to make friends as we get older. Nonsense. It might
2010-08-20 05:06:00 We really should be able to make friends as easily at this age as we did when we were ten. For one thing, we know how to properly brush our teeth now. That alone makes talking to people a more pleasant activity. Every year, I manage to add to my ever-growing list of loved ones. ... More About: People , Friends , Nonsense , Hard , Make
Back-to-school: The most wonderful time of the year
2010-08-18 17:54:00 At my children’s school, teachers are being asked to write a profile of themselves for the PTO newsletter. I was asked to submit questions so we might get to know them better. Here are a few of my ideas: Where did you go to school? What previous experience helped you prepare for brilliant children who ... More About: Time , School , Back , Wonderful
This commercial break brought to you by…
2010-08-15 16:22:00 Hi dolls, I write a bi-weekly column in The Tampa Tribune called “View from the Hill.” If you are a regular reader of the print or online version, the good folks at TBO want to hear from you. Please consider taking this survey and a) clicking on “Love It” next to my column and b) ... More About: Commercial , Break
BRB: How to enjoy and then scare off middle-aged men who flirt with you whi
2010-08-13 14:33:00 Any forty-something wife and mother who tells you she doesn’t like occasional attention from men is a liar. A teeth whitening-strips wearing, grey-hair dyeing, water-aerobics attending liar. Women enjoy getting hit on, flirted with, and approached by other men. Period. End of story. Of course, there is the manner in which it’s done that makes ... More About: Enjoy , Middle , Flirt
Can’t we fine someone for being a jackass?
2010-08-11 23:23:00 Often I have to tell my children that it’s not okay to do something, which is fine because they are only ten. For example, the other day I had to tell them it’s not okay to: - Argue with mommy just because you’re getting the summertime blues. - Argue with mommy over sneakers, healthy snacks, ... More About: Jackass
Happiness is a lot like pornography
2010-08-10 01:32:00 The movement bringing happiness to every man, woman, and child has hit a major roadblock. I read recently where our national “shiny, happy people” craze has ended. It’s over. Kaput. All I can say is, “Thank goodness. When are they canceling Wheel of Fortune?” But why are we moving away from merriness? Fallout from watching ... More About: Happiness , Pornography
Every Jewish parent dreads the day the Holocaust comes up.
2010-08-04 20:34:00 However, I have to say, our first go at it two years ago wasn’t so bad. Me: What did you learn about in Hebrew School today? Oldest: A lot. We learned about concentration camps. Me: Oh? What about them? Oldest: They put Jewish people in camps. We also learned about Anne Frank. Me: What about ... More About: Holocaust
Since you asked… how someone like me could like Eat, Pray, Love
2010-08-02 18:29:00 Categorized as “chick lit,” Eat, Pray, Love cultivated quite a following several years back. I ignored it, because *those* types of women watch Lifetime and join Jenny Craig. No, thanks. Oprah got involved and I knew for sure I wasn’t going to like the book. She liked Twilight, for crying out loud. Then Julia Roberts ...
God may help those who help themselves, but I only help those who help me f
2010-07-31 15:59:00 That philosophy is probably one of many reasons why I never made a very good Christian. Recently, I looked through my distribution lists, picked everyone who loves me, and sent them an email asking for proof. “It’s that time again when Creative Loafing solicits the opinions of the good people of Tampa Bay and around ...
How to talk to your children… when they are middle-aged and moody
2010-07-29 21:40:00 I feel bad when I hear people who are my age complaining about an estranged relationship with their parents. I’ve always been close with my parents, despite so many differences, and yet what works for us doesn’t always work for others. A good relationship requires work. Let’s face it. Our parents didn’t understand us when ... More About: Talk , Middle , Moody
5 reasons why a road trip with the family doesn’t completely suck
2010-07-23 21:54:00 Every summer, the Durkin Robinson gang usually takes off to see something new. In the past, we’ve visited national parks and majestic scenes like Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and an unusually large ball of twine. We almost always throw in something historical (read: tragic and slightly depressing) like the site of the Oklahoma City bombing, ... More About: Family , Trip , Reasons , Road Trip , Suck
How much longer ’till school starts?
2010-07-23 00:09:00 My children are definitely becoming preteens. They no longer involve me every time one annoys the other. After living with these kids for ten years, I’m never surprised when I find something in the toilet after they leave the bathroom. That *something* is usually of an organic nature and a quick, “Get in here and ... More About: School
Nightmare at the Dunmore Days Inn
2010-07-20 03:51:00 I made hotel reservations at the last minute in order to attend a family reunion in Scranton. You might be wondering – Why would someone so competent, who’s usually on top of things, wait until the last minute to make hotel reservations when she knew about the reunion for months ahead of time? I’ll tell ... More About: Nightmare , Days
For many practical reasons
2010-07-19 03:24:00 Traveling to Boston feels like visiting an old boyfriend. Imagine, if you will, not just any old boyfriend, but someone special, someone with whom you were deeply in love. Years ago, for many practical reasons, you both realized you could not build a life together. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. You and he were simply too ... More About: Reasons
Like I said, my every attempt to enjoy the great outdoors leads to a near-d
2010-07-17 14:11:00 Kevin first hired me back in 1996 when I arrived in Boston with a whole lot of hair, looking to begin a career. He made an interesting first impression as well. Kevin was blonde, short, refused to smile, and shook my hand harder than a constipated law school graduate. He meant well; I could tell ... More About: Outdoors , Enjoy , Leads , Great
My attempts to appreciate the great outdoors almost always turn into near-d
2010-07-14 16:01:00 When considering activities to enjoy in Boston this week, a friend suggested we explore nearby rural areas. That suggestion reminded me of a time, several years ago, when I attempted to walk around outside. We are still recovering… It’s been established that, although the great outdoors should be preserved, I don’t actually *enjoy* being outdoors. ... More About: Outdoors , Great
Two ways to watch World Cup action with grumpy old men who think soccer suc
2010-07-12 14:04:00 My children are sports fans. It doesn’t matter if a puck or ball is involved, or even a race car; they enjoy the rivalry, drama, intrigue, and suspense surrounding physical competition and a winner’s trophy. Husband loves this about them. Not that he would love our sons any less if they were into Tom Cruise ... More About: Watch , World Cup , World , Action , Soccer
Fear and self-loathing at a funeral
2010-07-08 00:04:00 I have a bad habit of not thinking things through. I usually blame it on my childhood, even though I can’t point to anything specific. After all, the 1970s was when all those synapses and neurons and bad habits started forming. Come on. How else do you explain The Brady Bunch? Example of this habit: ... More About: Fear
How to get along with your parents when they lose their hearing so you won
2010-07-05 22:13:00 Dad handed me a brochure. “Improving communication with the hearing impaired,” I read the title out loud. “This isn’t going to suggest I watch Wheel of Fortune so we have something to talk about during happy hour, is it?” “My doctor said I should let the family read it.” He tapped his ears. “I have ... More About: Parents
No sex please, unless you’ve earned it
More articles from this author:2010-07-04 18:05:00 Camille Paglia’s op-ed for The New York Times last week made me laugh. While entertaining and a great way to learn new words for grad school, her column is nonetheless way off track. I agree with Paglia that most women suffering from low libidos don’t need a Viagra-like pill; however, we disagree on a) why ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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