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Gay Actor and Activist Supports Barack Obama
2008-05-06 00:36:00 Tom Hanks Shocking Gay Film from his Past! The movie Tom Hanks doesn't want his fans to know about, a little known film called Philadelphia, a gay-exploitation film, in which he has gay sex in a porno theater. Before he was "Forest Gump", before he was the guy from the "Terminal" Tom Hanks made a gay-exploitation film to help pay the bills before his career took off. A little movie called "Philadelphia" in which Hanks has sex with random men until he contracts aids. Also in the film was the struggling Antonio Banderas, who also plays a promiscuous gay man. Reps from Hanks deny the existence of this soft core gay Porno, but copies of the film have been circulating in the press for weeks, and story is about to break. It's hard to say how the knowledge of the film will effect Hanks career, but the public usually does not like to be lied to for so many years. Hank's would not confirm deny his involvement in the film but ... More About: Barack Obama , Barack , Obama , Actor
Rodger Moore, Best Bond Ever
2008-04-30 09:23:00 Nobody does it better then Roger Moore .From quick wit to quicker women Moore remains unmatched in his dominance of the role of 007. Old Rog made the most Bond films (7), and so far is the Bond box office champ. His cunt count is also staggering, in Moonraker alone he beds more women then the castrated Timothy Dalton looked at in his tenure as Bond. Moore just has to start undressing girls and they sleep with him, they are not even drunk or drugged. Beside Dalton Moore is the only real Brit to play Bond. Connery is a illiterate Scott, and Pierce Brosnan is a half bread Irish Mick. And what about Roger films themselves? Every Moore film could be the best Bond film ever. From the blacksploitation Live and Let Die, to the ridiculous View to a kill. He sleeps with Grace Jones in View for Christ sake. I rest my case. I rest my case.
Al Roker Rushed to Hospital, In Near Heart Attack
2008-04-29 11:07:00 With a copy of this weeks Vanity Fair clutched in his left hand and ky jelly coving his whole entire body, Al Roker was rushed to the hospital today, he could be heard screaming, "Bring me a real naked picture Miley Cyrus, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her!" Al, who now only calls himself the weather man, was only suffering from chronic masturbation syndrome, which doctors guessed was due to the Miley Cyrus photos released this week in Vanity Fair. It's been another hard week for America's favorite morning time personality. Al Roker, AkA , the weatherman has been up at all hours just trying to figure out where in the world Matt Laurer is. But when the Miley Cyrus pics came out Al was also forced to move up his masturbation rotation from 12 to 25 sometimes 30 sessions a day. Al this on top of his almost 24 vigal outside Heath Ledgers apartment, have worn Al out."He is just masterbating, like a man on fi... More About: Hospital , Heart , Heart Attack , Attack
Newt Gingrich Found Living in Fox News Headqaurters
2008-04-28 02:25:00 Newt Gingrich Found Living in Fox News Headquarters "He was confused and scared when we pulled him out of the rat rest he made out Greta Van Susteren discarded tampons," Said real Fox reporter, Geraldo Rivera "Imagine if you can, the dastardly, dastardly, world that our friend Newt must have been living in." Geraldo continued, "eating food that Bill O'Reilly throws away, trying to make extra cash by windexing the camera lenses. Only to be shooed away. And amazingly he manages to get himself together to be in almost every Fox news interview. I think we all owe him some big props, and he also stopped Hillary Clinton's health care plan. Let's never forget this man again." Geraldo then disappointed the crowded gawkers when he ended his speech, without shooting himself in the face. "You gotta watch my live show, you never know what day I am gonna finally kill mys... More About: Newt Gingrich , Fox News
Supreme Courts Decides, Graphic Novels Must be Called Comic Books
2008-04-28 01:46:00 The Justices ruled 8 to 1 on the controversial issue. Clarence Thomas strongly opposed. "Are you telling that, the Frank Miller Batman, were he has a hot young girl as Robin, is not worthy to be called a novel, this is complete B.S." Thomas said before he went to his Washington D.C. apartment which he shares with Colin Powell. Many business are also worried that this decision may lead to violence. "We all have to deal with the guy who masturbates to Rogue from X-men, in the bathroom on his lunch break, I sure don't want to be the one to tell him that he can no longer pick Punisher as a great character in literature, when we play celebrity at our Christmas party," said a concerned unnamed manager, of a local D.C. business. The other supreme court justices, are also concerned for judge Thomas's sanity over the issue. "Him and Colin don't seem to getting alone anymore, and he hasn... More About: Comic , Books , Novels , Graphic Novels , Comic Books
Global Warming is a Lie, Give Me Universal Heath care! And Stop this war no
2008-04-27 23:54:00 Global Warming is a Lie, Give Me Universal Heath care! And Stop this war now.Somebody please tell Leonardo DiCaprio to stay away from open windows,Tell Cameron Diaz to stop talking, and just keep shaking it,and could Sizzler please bring back there buffet so Al Gore can eat himself to death. (and Gangs of New sucks harder then Paris Hilton on a penis shaped Popsicle, or just a real penis ) Sorry guys but Global Warming, which they now are forced to call Climate Change, is just the latest tool to control the proletariats. We are well to smart to believe in god, so neo apocalypse scenarios are created. Any one remember the ice age? Fact is that we get so excited about, Leo showing up to the Oscars in his hybrid, that we are willing to let another decade pass without Universal health care. We stand alone and embarrassed in the western world to issues like gay marriage. We get in a frenzy to pass laws to stop smoking in bars, while the fact that we have the highest prison population go... More About: Global Warming , Global , Care
Al Roker Attacks Fox Producers
2008-04-26 07:59:00 Al Roker Attacks Fox Producers ."Write me in as a love interest in your show Ally McBeal, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Roker screamed this morning on the The Today Show. "That white bitch needs to start eating some meat," Roker said his new Today Show segment called, "Shows that need my Black meat." Roker who now only calls himself the Weatherman, seems unaware that Ally McBeal has been canceled for over 2 years. This did not stop him from making his demands. Fox executives, are in negotiation with Calista Flockhart, to star in a new Ally miniseries. But Roker insists on writing the script himself, and promises his fans many real sex scenes between him and Ally McBeal. "Im gonna make that skeleton bitch hurt" More About: Al Roker
New Scandel Rocks Barack Obama's Campaign
2008-04-26 06:32:00 Barack Obama today neither confirmed or denied that he is madly in love with Alexis Bledel."I think everybody in America is in love with Alexis," Barack said to students in North Carolina, "But the idea that just because I own every season of Gilmore Girls, and only make love to Michelle when Alexis's face is freeze framed, well the idea that that makes me in love with her, is absurd." Michelle Obama has lived with this for years, and has privately admitted that Barack's problem began when the movie Tuck Everlasting came out. "He likes to call it, well you can guess, everlasting," Michelle told a close friend. The Clinton campaign has always hinted that Barack might go after white girls once he is President, and they used this latest scandal to reintroduce the idea. "We all know that his father liked little white girls," Hillary Clinton said to supporters in Indiana, "But I for one am not gonna let Senato... More About: Barack , Campaign , Rocks
Clinton Negatives Hit New High
2008-04-26 04:34:00 New Poll Shows that 65% of voters would rather vote for Adolf Hilter, While 83% of voters would rather watch a new sitcom with Tony Danza, then vote for Hillary Clinton . The real winner in this new poll is Tony Danza, who is trying to use the new voter data to get a job, any job. The Poll was conducted by none other then Tim Russert, who likes to spend a lot of his time off, at community colleges. Other questions that Russert asked youth voters were, "Will you have sex with me," and "Please will you have sex with me, I will pay you 2000 dollars."The Clinton Campaign would not comment on the new poll, but did say that a new Tony Danza television series is part of their plans if they are the new administration. "Come on, John Stamos is on E.R. for gods sakes, the people deserve to see Tony too, like health care Tony Danza is a right," More About: High
A Dozen Dead In Tyra Banks Hairspray Accident
2008-04-26 03:52:00 "A Dozen dead in Ty Ty's Hairspray Accident " Today, Tyra (ty ty) Banks , and a few of her loyal female followers, were literally “killed by kindness” during taping an “ANTM Where Are They Now?” episode for the “Tyra Banks Show” (to be aired in mid June of 08). . Tyra, and 5 models who never won ANTM but somehow managed to “stay wit it gurl”, stormed the audience, hairspray in hand, for a segment Tyra called, “Makeova Yo ugly white ass you ho bitch”. Unfortunately Tyra’s producers had failed to warn the “makeova” participants that smoking was not allowed within the studio, and that hairspray, especially in large quantities is indeed flammable. Luckily Tyra had sectioned off a part of the studio for her “makeova” segment and so the small spark, from an unknown source, only engulfed Tyra, her 5 failed top models, and a handful of white trash women who thought they could “get a freebee out of the darkie” in fatal flames. Tyra, her “models... More About: Dead
Hillary Clinton and the Nuclear option. Will She Run as an Independent?
2008-04-20 09:09:00 Will Hillary Clinton run as a third party candidate? She shows signs of backing down. The only way she can win the democratic nomination is if the Super delegates vote contrary to Obama's lead. Why is Hillary still running, and would she really just stand by and let Obama take the Presidency that she so believes she deserves? This all brings us to the depressing reality that John McCain will be are next president. I can hear the speech she would make to announce a third party run. She will say she does not want to let down the millions who voted for her. As we all know, Hillary is not running for herself, she is running because the people demand it. She could run as an independent or simply create a new party. She would be the real candidate of change. She is succeeding at making people hate politics again and Howard Dean will most likely drop dead from a h... More About: Nuclear , Independent
Mr. Drummond Endorces Obama
2008-04-20 03:42:00 Barack Obama received an endorsement by long time Clinton supporter Mr. Drummond. "He told me five times to my face that he wouldn't do this. Five times," said a clearly drunk Bill Clinton. Mr. Drummond has been a long time friend to Clinton's, but like many others he now endorses Barack.On a conference call Clinton staffers tried to brush off what must be a huge blow, "Come on he lived with two Black kids from Harlem, this doesn't come us much of a shock." The fact remains that Bill Clinton has removed the Different Strokes theme song from his i-pod shuffle, and Bill no longer uses his favorite phrase "what you talking about"Many in the Democratic party see this as a major sign. Mr. Drummond support coupled with Obama's lead in delegates and vote count may propel him to the nomination.
Pope's Message to American Catholics,
2008-04-20 01:35:00 Pope's Message to American Catholics , "We Will Stop Raping Your Children" Pope Benedict XVI has a bold new plan to stop the rape, that includes supplying every new priest with the Haley Joel Osment dvd collection. (Don't even try to rent A.I. at the Vatican city Blockbuster, its been checked, over and over again,)read more | digg story
Pope's Message to American Catholics, "We Will Stop Raping Your Children"
2008-04-20 01:02:00 Pope's Message to American Catholics , "We Will Stop Raping Your Children " Pope Benedict XVI has a bold new plan to stop the rape, that includes supplying every new priest with the Haley Joel Osment dvd collection. (Don't even try to rent A.I. at the Vatican city Blockbuster, its been checked, over and over again,) The Catholic church is also exploring the idea of making little Haley Joel robots like in that movie A.I.The Pope's trip over all has been a positive one, when asked about his service in the Hitler youth, Benedict quibed that he only joined to impress a girl. The Pope says he loves America, especially the dollar menu at Macdonald's, where in awkward moment two priests were found living in the ball pit. The Priests were immediately relocated to ball pit in a different community.
Red Neck Atlanta Brave Fans Still Doing The Tomahawk Chop
2008-04-20 00:19:00 Red Neck Atlanta Brave Fans Still Doing The Tomahawk Chop The whole city of Atlanta apparently missed that day in school when they teach children not to be racist assholes.I was just watching the Dodgers and the Braves on Fox sports today, when I heard the chanting of 40,000 white people mimicking what they think an Indian chant is. I then looked down at my watch and noticed it is the year 2008 and not the 1890's. So can you guys just stop doing that, and if you get around to it why not take down the Confederate flag. Here is another strange idea, why not just celebrate Martin Luther King day rather then making laws to combine Mlk day with Robert E Lee day. Cleverly you call it King Lee day. In fact why celebrate Robert E Lee's birthday, he lost, and he was on the side that wanted to keep slavery. And finally could the state of Georgia please apologize for REM. I just ...
George Clooney Douchebag of the Year?
2008-04-19 23:20:00 George Clooney Douche bag of the Year ?In the year of change George Clooney offers voters a fresh douche bag to long time incumbent douche bag Sean Penn. Sean Penn has been douche bag of the year for the past decade. His office has been well earned, from visiting Hugo Chavez, to riding around on a speed boat with a shotgun during hurricane Katrina, Sean Penn has set the standard for what a complete douche bag should be. Did you know that Penn discovered both Jewel, and Dakato Fanning? (what an incredible douche bag). His role in I am Sam, his insistence that he must chain smoke during interviews on the tonight show, he really is the greatest douche bag in the world. But Clooney plans to give Sean a run for his money. His record as douche bag is also impressive. His Ocean 11 movies alone could win him the office. His personal hatred for the paparazzi is also a great wea... More About: George Clooney , George , Douchebag
Tom Hanks Shocking Gay Film from his Past!
2008-04-15 02:09:00 The movie Tom Hanks doesn't want his fans to know about, a little known film called Philadelphia, a gay-exploitation film, in which he has gay sex in a porno theater.Before he was "Forest Gump", before he was the guy from the "Terminal" Tom Hanks made a gay-exploitation film to help pay the bills before his career took off. A little movie called "Philadelphia" in which Hanks has sex with random men until he contracts aids. Also in the film was the struggling Antonio Banderas, who also plays a promiscuous gay man. Reps from Hanks deny the existence of this soft core gay Porno, but copies of the film have been circulating in the press for weeks, and story is about to break. It's hard to say how the knowledge of the film will effect Hanks career, but the public usually does not like to be lied to for so many years. Hank's would not confirm deny his involvement in the film but plans to address it later in a press conference this week. More About: Film , Past
Barack Obama Gets Kind Words From The Pope
2008-04-15 02:06:00 "I loved him in "fresh prince of bel air," Said the Pope in an interview with Playboy magazine. "Hillary Clinton reminds me of Carlton, totally lame!" said the amused Pontiff. The Pope went on to talk about many issues but had very kind words for Obama . "I see Hillary as a more of Carlton type, not cool like Barack ." Said the Pope. The Pope also has sent Barack an autographed photo of himself in his youthful days. "I used to be pretty excited about politics when I was a youth, I even was part of a very special club, but I had to quit when sadly when our leader committed suicide. It was a very hard time in my life." More About: Barack Obama , Words
Hillary Clinton Unveils "No Vagina Left Behind Campaign"
2008-04-14 23:36:00 Hillary Clinton Unveils "No Vagina Left Behind Campaign " Stupid white women everywhere go gaga over new Hillary slogan."I Have a Vagina, and I am proud of it""It is time to show some respect to vagina's in this country," Hillary told a captivated audience of people over 80 who are too racist to ever vote for a black man. It's time for the government to subsidize the price of tampons, at my last town hall meeting a single mother reached out and grabbed my hand, she told me that she has been using the same tampon since 1997. This is wrong." Hillary then did what only Maddona does with a American flag between the legs. "And I don't know about you girls, but I am sick of that nasty smell down there, it is time for the government to step in and work for real solutions of vagina oder, this is not something we can just hope will go away. "As you know my opponent does not have a vagina, we can not take a risk on this issue w... More About: Hillary Clinton , Hillary
New Mel Gibson Movie Offends!
2008-04-14 07:32:00 CONTROVERSIAL DIRECTOR TO HEAD LONG AWAITED BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE III Mel Gibson has started production on the mother of all trilogies. The star of "What Women Want" states this will be the most important project since his culturally diverse Lethal Weapon 4. Which Gibson himself sees as a hard act to follow, stating, "Ya know that LW4, ain't no crow to stone...I acted with both blacks and Chinese in that one." Unlike the first 2 installments of Big Momma's House the stars of this latest edition including franchise name Martin Lawrence will be facing ground breaking challenges during production. "The entire film" Gibson insists, "will be shot in ancient Ebonics" and the director hasn't decided whether or not to include subtitles for suburban white kids. However, in classic Gibson form, the script has already gathered some criticism from concerned Rabbias throughout the nation. The Rabbias suggest that a scene depicting "Big Momma's" trip to a restaurant has anti-Semitic dialog, wh... More About: Movie
Lucius Malfoy Bathhouse Scandal
2008-04-14 07:12:00 Draco's father arrested in raid of muggle bathhouse, World of Harry Potter in turmoil.This is not the first time that reported Death Eater Lucius Malfoy has been caught in a compromising situation. He was among the many patrons in the audience of the Florida porn theater when Muggle sex offender Paul Rubins was arrested. The Muggle bath house in London is well known for the practice of trading sexual favors for what Muggles call money. Malfoy who again and again has spoken of his hatred of Muggles and half-bloods had no explanation for his being there, but it was reported that the Wizard who supports "he who must not be named", was disrobed when the police made the raid. Malfoy was able to successfully erase the memories of all the Muggles involved, but was not able to retrieve his cape from a very dramatic young Muggle man who insisted that the garment belonged to his lover. Malfoy will be charged with the misdemeanor, Mistreatment of Muggles. Although it is ve... More About: Scandal
Al Roker Gets In Fight With Mathew Fox On The Today Show
2008-04-14 06:02:00 "Tell me the location of Lost island, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Al Roker yelled to Mathew Fox on an interview during the Today Show . Al Roker has long stated his ambition to find lost island and live there forever. "all the answers are there, they just need a leader who will make sex slaves out of the women." Roker has said before. Al, who now only calls himself the Weatherman, then asked Fox if he would help him do a home invasion. "I want to force a father to have sex with his daughter, and a mother to have sex with her son," Al told Fox. Producers of the today show are happy to point out that Al is more popular than ever, and part of his appeal to the public is straight talk to the american people. More About: Fight , Today Show , The Today Show
Islam's answer to the Spice Girls
2008-04-14 05:58:00 As the Spice Girls get ready for a new tour, The new Islamic group "The Good Wives" release their new single, "If you wanna be my Husband."The new Islamic group "The Good wives" has taken the Islamic world by storm. They reject the Satanic view of "Girl Power" and replace it with what they call "Husband Power." At first police in Saudi Arabia wanted to stone the "Good Wives" but when they started to listen to their lyrics and crazy beats the police were hooked. The "Good Wives," first single "If you want to Be my husband" is very pro beating and comments how a disappointing wife should be killed. Saudi police have still not decided if the "Good Wives" should be imprisoned, but for now wives everywhere are getting into the "Husband Power." More About: Spice Girls , Answer , The Spice Girls
Gore and son Asked to Leave Old Country Buffet
2008-04-14 04:33:00 What was supposed to be a night of reconciliation turned into a night of Humiliation, as Al Gore and his drug addict son were asked to leave an "Old Country Buffet ." They thought all you can eat really meant all you can eat.As father and son went for their 14th plate an empty buffet and a very apologetic manager waited for them. "I am so sorry Mr. Gore and Mr. Gore Junior but all the food has been eaten, and we are turning away customers." said the the frantic manager. "Do you realize I won the popular vote in 2000" Said a furious elder Gore. He then with his son started licking the remaining buffet plates as other patrons looked on in amazement. Luckily for the Gore boys their was a near by Macdonalds were they were able to exploit the $1 dollar menu, which they refer to as the 5.000 dollar menu. More About: Leave
Another Hillary Clinton Lie
2008-04-14 04:11:00 Hillary Clinton today admitted that she in fact was not a founding member of Fleetwood Mac."I misspoke ," Said the Senator. "I remember when me, Mick , and John , would all have to run into the venue to avoid sniper fire," the Senator has said at many a town hall meetings. Most reporters have no idea who Fleetwood Mac is, so there was no way for them to fact check her story, and anyway why would Hillary ever lie about anything? Things all came undone again at the hands of former comedian Sinbad. The sleuth who broke Clinton's Bosnia lie again weighed in. "If that white bitch was in Fleetwood Mac, then I am Howie "big time game show," Mandel." Sinbad said. Sinbad who has hurt feeling that Howie has left the has been status, is making a bit of a comeback by exposing Hillary Clinton lies. "I'm gonna look into that Vince Foster death again, why was there a bullet in his brain?" &... More About: Hillary Clinton , Hillary
Hillary Clinton's Secret Crush on General Petraeus
2008-04-11 07:05:00 General Petraeus please "General Betray Us," Clinton won't condemn MoveOn.org's attack on the General, but she also cannot seem to keep her penetrating gaze off the military man.This is not the first time Hillary Cinton has been in love. In the Bill Clinton White House, staffers were often sent at late hours to Blockbuster video to rent Dolly Parton's "Straight Talk." When Bill was spending late hours with Monica, Hillary was cuddled up with light popcorn, Diet Pepsi and Dolly. Things ended tragically after Parton was invited to the White House, and Hillary learned the truth that they were fake. But things are different this time. General Petraeus is also a straight talker, and he is all real, and strangely he is all man. "We have never seen Hill like this before." said a staffer that would not be named. "It's like she is getting feelings she never thought she had. Like when I brought her coffee the other day she looked me in the ... More About: General , Secret
Tom Hanks Drops out of New Star Trek Project
2008-04-11 06:59:00 The film, currently starring Zachary Quinto (Heroes) as Spock and Anton Yelchin (Huff) as Chekov, is being directed by J.J. Abrams (Alias). Images9 Tom Hanks drops out of New Star Trek , amid speculation of his gay past.Earlier this month Blackdog Press broke the story of Tom Hanks secret gay past, when we discovered the unknown soft gay porn movie "Philadelphia," in which Hanks has gay sex in a porno theater. Well we were equally shocked when we came across this photo of Hanks and who we assume to be a lover. Hanks so far has denied most of the allegations against his, and in a statement with his wife Rita Wilson said "I am not Gay." No word yet on whether Mr. Hanks dropped out of the new Star Trek or was asked to leave by producers. More About: Project
Bush to Host Price Is Right After He Leaves Office
2008-04-11 06:52:00 George Bush announced his plans to host the CBS game show "The Price is Right" when he leaves office next year. Perhaps the most surprised were CBS executives who previously had no plans of hiring President for the job that Drew Carry inherited from Bob Barker. "Drew Carry is a nice fella," the President said, "but he is running the grand old game show into the ground, and if "Price is Right" gets canceled Al-Qaeda will be able say to the world that they defeated the United States. The President further laid out his plans to bring the show back to the basics with Bush's Beauties, and in a surprise choice, of Al Gore to replace Rod Roddy. "If he wears a purple blazer, and uses the gay southern voice of his, he will be the per... More About: Office , Host , Leaves
New Holocaust Ride to Open At Disney World Iran
2008-04-11 06:46:00 "I like it even better than Mr. Jews Wild Cattle Train Ride ," Said Iran President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.The new ride called the roller coaster of lies will open next week in the fantasy land section of Disney World Iran. Disney World Iran has been open for over two years and like Euro Disney has had to make some cultural readjustments to keep attendance up. For example instead of Hall of presidents they have the hall of whores, where park goers can stone real wives that have acted unfaithfully. Also on "Star Tours" 3-cpo is put to death daily for being a homosexual. More About: Open
Hillary Clinton Creates A New Youth Group Called the Hillary Youth
More articles from this author:2008-04-08 04:20:00 Some critics say that Hillary 's call for blood purity, is just another Clinton attempt to inject race into the campaign, "Barack Obama's dad married a white women, can we really trust that he won't try to do the same sort of thing," Hillary was quoted this afternoon. (The Hillary Youth ) "I just want to create a place were young, American girls can feel safe to be themselves and to be proud of their heritage" Hillary said to reporters in West Virginia. "I am sick of the dangers of cocaine, malt liquor , and dice rolling, that these girls face, also for three months in college Barack Obama dated a white girl," Hillary quickly added. "vote for him by all means, just don't let your daughter sleep... More About: Hillary Clinton , Group 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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