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BLACK DOG PRESS

BLACK DOG PRESS
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Articles

Al Roker Goes Nuts After Seeing Preview For Sisterhood of The Traveling Pan
2008-03-28 11:11:00
Al Roker Goes Nuts After Seeing Preview For Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants 2! "Release Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants part 2 immediately, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her." Al Roker demanded in his new today show segment, "Teens I would like to impregnate". Al Roker who now only calls himself "The Weatherman", was visibly angry about the fact that the sequel to one of his favorite movies will not come out till later in the summer. "This is worse then the part in Spider man 3, when Mary Jane and Peter Parker broke up, and then she was gonna try to date another guy. I almost had to leave the theater at that part!" Roker then pulled out a picture of Hannah Montana and ripped it up. "That was for you Alexis" Roker said before NBC was forced to go to commercial.
More About: Al Roker

Al Gore To Lead The Super Delagates
2008-03-28 10:49:00
I told tipper that we are gonna have to tevo Lost this Thursday so I can meet with the super delegates," Gore said this weekend. Gore did not specify which Super delegates are considered the most Super, but Big Al thinks he can sway them. Aquaman, is expected to be part of this meeting, and like Gore he is a very big uncommitted Super delegate. So far Gore has had a very low presence, but throughout the democratic contest for president he has been a sought after voice. Gore, who has been focusing on trying to keep his neck fat from taking over his face, has spent most of his days thinking of new inventions. This year he has had mixed success from his invention the iphone, but now Gore has turned his attention to the super delegate crises. Gore is a party man and does not want to go into the convention without a nominee, "If necessary me and Tipper will make out until Obama...
More About: Al Gore , Lead , The Super

McCain Just Can't Win
2008-03-18 08:28:00
McDonald's gets his order wrong "I am not lovn it!Things just can't go right for Republican nominee John McCain. From rumors of affairs to the new disappointing season of "Prison Break" it has been a bad last couple weeks for the Senator. Things came to head late last ni...

Hillary Clinton Will Just Not Go Away
2008-03-18 08:24:00
Like that genital wart that you shave off in a scolding hot shower, Hillary Clinton will just not go away."I wish she would take a cue from Heath Ledger, and get out of all of our faces" Said Senator John Kerry.Many in the Democratic party would just like to see Hillary drop out of the race so Obama can get to the business of kicking John McCain's ass. But Hillary does not seem to get it. Despite the fact that Clinton can not possibly surpass Obama in both popular vote and earned delegates, Hillary hopes to make the case that she should be the nominee. Hillary gets her inspiration from her favorite Dolly Parton movie "Straight Talk". "Sometimes you just gotta honk your own horn," Hillary said in her victory speech.

Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use
2008-03-18 08:17:00
Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug UseBarack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use . "Yeah last night I was snorting cocaine off Tara Reids thighs." Obama told a cleary aroused Katie Couric. "Look" Barack Continued, "I did regret my drug use as a youth, I regretted that I didn't have enough money to party like I need to. You how cocaine is Katie, it runs out, I don't have that problem any more.""And listen up white people I not a muslum, I'm Malcolm fucking X, I'm outside your high school recruiting your daughters to be in my rap videos, Katie either change those panties or take them off, because that river running under your chair could provide water for all my brothers in Africa." At this point Kat...
More About: Barack Obama , Barack

Al Gore To Lead The Super Delagates
2008-03-18 08:12:00
I told tipper that we are gonna have to tevo Lost this Thursday so I can meet with the super delegates," Gore said this weekend. Gore did not specify which Super delegates are considered the most Super, but Big Al thinks he can sway them. Aquaman, is expected to be part of this meeting, and like Gore he is a very big uncommitted Super delegate. So far Gore has had a very low presence, but throughout the democratic contest for president he has been a sought after voice. Gore, who has been focusing on trying to keep his neck fat from taking over his face, has spent most of his days thinking of new inventions. This year he has had mixed success from his invention the iphone, but now Gore has turned his attention to the super delegate crises. Gore is a party man and does not want to go into the convention without a nominee, "If necessary me and Tipper will make out until Obama...
More About: Al Gore , Lead , The Super

Al Gore To Lead The Super Delagates
2008-03-06 20:35:00
I told tipper that we are gonna have to tevo Lost this Thursday so I can meet with the super delegates," Gore said this weekend. Gore did not specify which Super delegates are considered the most Super, but Big Al thinks he can sway them. Aquaman, is expected to be part of this meeting, and like Gore he is a very big uncommitted Super delegate. So far Gore has had a very low presence, but throughout the democratic contest for president he has been a sought after voice. Gore, who has been focusing on trying to keep his neck fat from taking over his face, has spent most of his days thinking of new inventions. This year he has had mixed success from his invention the iphone, but now Gore has turned his attention to the super delegate crises. Gore is a party man and does not want to go into the convention without a nominee, "If necessary me and Tipper will make out until Obama...
More About: Al Gore , Lead , The Super

Hillary Clinton Wins Ohio, And She Will Just Not Go Away
2008-03-05 06:58:00
Like that genital wart that you shave off in a scolding hot shower, Hillary Clinton will just not go away."I wish she would take a cue from Heath Ledger, and get out of all of our faces" Said Senator John Kerry.Many in the Democratic party would just like to see Hillary drop out of the race so Obama can get to the business of kicking John McCain's ass. But Hillary does not seem to get it. Despite the fact that Clinton can not possibly surpass Obama in both popular vote and earned delegates, Hillary hopes to make the case that she should be the nominee. Hillary gets her inspiration from her favorite Dolly Parton movie "Straight Talk". "Sometimes you just gotta honk your own horn," Hillary said in her victory speech.
More About: Ohio , Wins

MCcain Wins Republican Nomination, Denounces Corbra And Destro
2008-03-05 06:22:00
Cobra and Destro are emerging as the new threat in the world, and as President, I will not wait for them to strike first." Said the victorious Senator MCcain. MCcain beat out Mitt Romney, and Rudy Guilliani, but his strongest words were against weapons specialist Destro. "Destro be warned, there is no save haven in the world for you when I get in the Oval office." MCcain said as he simultaneously shaved his whiskers with his Vietnam Bowie knife. republican nomination MCcain, then in an almost gleeful tone, seemed to taunt conservatives in the Republican party by honoring the gay GI Joe members who lost there lives to aids in the 80's. "It's time for America to honor all of her heroes, not just the ones who put there dicks in vagina's. Duke, Snake Eyes, Sergeant Slaughter, Gong Ho, and any other gay Joe's who have lost there lives, to the aids epidemic deserve our respect and admiration. They are great American...
More About: Nomination , Wins

Hillary Clinton Denies Fart While Campaigning
2008-02-28 22:26:00
Hillary Clinton Denies Fart While Campaigning . Whoever denies supplies it? Clinton covers up fart but she can not cover up the face of the innocent boy behind her. Like the little boy in the tree, in the story of the emperor and his new clothes, there was only one to speak to truth as Hillary let go of something she has been holding onto since Iowa. The Clinton camp was quick to silence then noise and attempted to attribute the smell to global warming. Al Gore would not comment.
More About: Hillary Clinton , Hillary

Bill Clinton Meets With Boss Hogg To Fix Southern
2008-02-28 22:20:00
Bill tries to fix Southern Vote for Hillary, but the Duke boys support Obama.Uncle Jesse has gone into hiding as speculation grows over Boss Hog's and Bill Clinton 's plan to fix the election. But don't worry folks the Duke boys are gonna put on a fire works show at a secret location in support of Barak Obama. Daisy Duke and her friends plan on having a wet T shirt contest in the Bayou for Obama. But watch out Dukes Bubba and Boss Hogg are tricky fellas they might telling people outrageous lies about Obama
More About: Bill

Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use
2008-02-28 22:16:00
Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use. "Yeah last night I was snorting cocaine off Tara Reids thighs." Obama told a cleary aroused Katie Couric."Look" Barack Continued, "I did regret my drug use as a youth, I regretted that I didn't have enough money to party like I need to. You how cocaine is Katie, it runs out, I don't have that problem any more.""And listen up white people I not a muslum, I'm Malcolm fucking X, I'm outside your high school recruiting your daughters to be in my rap videos, Katie either change those panties or take them off, because that river running under your chair could provide water for all my brothers in Africa." At this point Katie took her panties off, and ABC was forced to go to commercial.
More About: Barack Obama , Barack , Drug Use

Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use
2008-02-28 22:14:00
Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use. "Yeah last night I was snorting cocaine off Tara Reids thighs." Obama told a cleary aroused Katie Couric. "Look" Barack Continued, "I did regret my drug use as a youth, I regretted that I didn't have enough money to party like I need to. You how cocaine is Katie, it runs out, I don't have that problem any more.""And listen up white people I not a muslum, I'm Malcolm fucking X, I'm outside your high school recruiting your daughters to be in my rap videos, Katie either change those panties or take them off, because that river running under your chair could provide water for all my brothers in Africa." At this point Katie took her panties off, and ABC was forced to go to commercial.&nbs...
More About: Barack Obama , Barack , Drug Use

Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use
2008-02-28 22:11:00
Barack Obama Confident, Talks Candidly About Drug Use. "Yeah last night I was snorting cocaine off Tara Reids thighs." Obama told a cleary aroused Katie Couric. "Look" Barack Continued, "I did regret my drug use as a youth, I regretted that I didn't have enough money to party like I need to. You how cocaine is Katie, it runs out, I don't have that problem any more.""And listen up white people I not a muslum, I'm Malcolm fucking X, I'm outside your high school recruiting your daughters to be in my rap videos, Katie either change those panties or take them off, because that river running under your chair could provide water for all my brothers in Africa." At this point Katie took her panties off, and ABC was forced to go to commercial.&nbs...
More About: Barack Obama , Barack , Drug Use

Bill Clinton Meets With Boss Hogg To Fix Southern
2008-02-28 20:59:00
Bill tries to fix Southern Vote for Hillary, but the Duke boys support Obama.Uncle Jesse has gone into hiding as speculation grows over Boss Hog's and Bill Clinton 's plan to fix the election. But don't worry folks the Duke boys are gonna put on a fire works show at a secret location in support of Barak Obama. Daisy Duke and her friends plan on having a wet T shirt contest in the Bayou for Obama. But watch out Dukes Bubba and Boss Hogg are tricky fellas they might telling people outrageous lies about Obama
More About: Bill

Hillary Clinton Denies Fart While Campaigning
2008-02-28 20:57:00
Hillary Clinton Denies Fart While Campaigning . Whoever denies supplies it? Clinton covers up fart but she can not cover up the face of the innocent boy behind her. Like the little boy in the tree, in the story of the emperor and his new clothes, there was only one to speak to truth as Hillary let go of something she has been holding onto since Iowa. The Clinton camp was quick to silence then noise and attempted to attribute the smell to global warming. Al Gore would not comment.
More About: Hillary Clinton , Hillary

Castro Resigns Due To Depression Over Heath Ledger's Death
2008-02-28 20:54:00
Castro Resigns Due To Depression Over Heath Ledger's Death "I knew Heath was special since I first saw him in 10 Things I Hate About You" Castro said in his address this afternoon. Like most of us Fidel Castro has been in a major funk since Heath Ledger's death. "Poor Fidel has been in almost constant conversation with Mary Kate Olsen," said Castro's Brother Raul. Castro has been holed up in his master bedroom with an unending supply of rum and the movie a "Knights Tale" on repeat. "Just let me be taken to Heaven so I can be with Heath again" Castro was overheard saying to his priest. But maybe that's why God took Heath so soon, as long as we had him on earth there was no need to think about heaven.
More About: Castro

Castro Resigns Due To Depression Over Heath Ledger's Death
2008-02-28 20:54:00
Castro Resigns Due To Depression Over Heath Ledger 's Death "I knew Heath was special since I first saw him in 10 Things I Hate About You" Castro said in his address this afternoon. Like most of us Fidel Castro has been in a major funk since Heath Ledger's death. "Poor Fidel has been in almost constant conversation with Mary Kate Olsen," said Castro's Brother Raul. Castro has been holed up in his master bedroom with an unending supply of rum and the movie a "Knights Tale" on repeat. "Just let me be taken to Heaven so I can be with Heath again" Castro was overheard saying to his priest. But maybe that's why God took Heath so soon, as long as we had him on earth there was no need to think about heaven.
More About: Castro

Bill Clinton Calls Himself The First Latino President While Campaigning In
2008-02-28 20:51:00
"I have lived most of my life like as a Mexican, I am the first Latino President ," Clinton said while campaigning in Texas for his wife. Wearing a poncho and sombrero and armed with his new invention, the Doritto Burrito, Former President Bill Clinton continues his downward spiral into disgrace. "Hey Hombres," Clinton, yelled to a random group of young Latino's, "Uncle Bill is here with the "Doritto Burrito, and it tastes so good it will make you want vote for my wife." The Hillary Clinton campaign will not comment on the actions of the former President. "The truth is," Bill said to anyone who would listen, " Barack Ombama hates Our Lady of Guadalupe, he worships El Diablo"
More About: Calls

Al Gore To Lead The Super Delagates
2008-02-28 20:32:00
"I told tipper that we are gonna have to tevo Lost this Thursday so I can meet with the super delegates," Gore said this weekend. Gore did not specify which Super delegates are considered the most Super, but Big Al thinks he can sway them. Aquaman, is expected to be part of this meeting, and like Gore he is a very big uncommitted Super delegate. So far Gore has had a very low presence, but throughout the democratic contest for president he has been a sought after voice. Gore, who has been focusing on trying to keep his neck fat from taking over his face, has spent most of his days thinking of new inventions. This year he has had mixed success from his invention the iphone, but now Gore has turned his attention to the super delegate crises. Gore is a party man and does not want to go into the convention without a nominee, "If necessary me and Tipper will make out until O...
More About: Al Gore , Lead , The Super

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