My Secret Spiritual Dance

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Day 6 + 7
2007-09-18 17:45:00
I never got enough time to post yesterday as I had company (my dramatic daughter was up from LA). But I did have a session...and it was a great one.About half way through, my lower abdomen started hurting again, so I decided to dig into it. I contorted my body to get it from all angles. Then I found my fingers being drawn to the Spleen 9 point (in acupuncture, inside below the knee). Intense pain shot up and down my leg, through my leg so I just stayed with it, breathing all the way. I noticed intense sexual energy coming up all through the session. When done, while coming down from the strong breathing, at one point I got nauseous. Yup...things are moving.I'm thinking it would be so wonderful to be able to get some Rolfing done along with this. In the past, I've pondered how cool it would be to develop a system of combined intense bodywork/breathwork. I mean...of course I breathe with bodywork..how can I not? But I think it would be so cool if there was something where the worker...

Day 5- Pain
2007-09-17 03:18:00
Yesterday's meditation began the pain. Today it was in full glory.My guts hurt.Today, while breathing, there was intense pain in my abdomen. I've been doing an intestinal cleanse for some time now, preparing for a liver cleanse. It hasn't been comfortable. Today, my guts cried out. My hands were drawn to my belly and I began to rub. At first, my hands were drawn on each side of my torso, doing an upward motion from my pubic bone to my ribs. When I noticed that the pain was intense on my right side, I laid down and massaged that area deeply. I wished I could contort to get my elbow in there. I kept yearning for my Rolfer, wondering if this pain was my intestines or my psoas muscle. Tears, releases....pain melting into freedom. Power, safety, intuition. Trust flows. This area wants my attention. Image:Third Chakra from here
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Day 3-Monkey Mind
2007-09-15 05:36:00
Oh my...today's meditation was so scattered. I could NOT focus. Monkey Mind was victorious in all its glory. Body was twitchy, mind followed suit. Both were all over the place. I think it was a diversionary tactic as even with the mind spludge, legs cramping/spasming, my body went into the deep intense breathing quickly and easily when the music amped up. Partly, perhaps, because I did the first part twice before the build up (as I mentioned in the last post, I like to do more breathing before the pick up and then do the strong music a bit longer....opens me more...so that was my temporary "fix" for that today). So since I was there in Monkey Mind I just went with pondering Monkey Mind. I'm not sure why we have it. I do know it's here. I know that most meditators fight it. Heck..I do, too. But, in this flow thing I'm doing, I'm wondering why it would be excluded from flow?It was pretty clear something was starting to come to the surface. I'm wondering if Monkey Mind was there ...

Day 2: Quantum Light Breath
2007-09-13 22:18:00
As this is a Thursday's Tantra, I thought I would talk more about a Solo practice of a Dynamic Brea th ing Meditation called Quantum Light Breath, along with talking about the journey. I love a new version of the meditation by Richard Bach and the QLB Orchestra. Rather than taking pieces of music from different artists and putting them together in a compilation (as all the other previous QLB CD's have been), the music here is all live. And it's beautiful. Richard's voice is always soothing and healing- has always made me purr. Along with the asthetics of his voice, his words in the CD really trigger body awarenesses and awakenings for me. One of the things that he keeps talking about is making love to yourself, the universe, feeling the energy all the way down to the first chakra, opening the heart to unconditionally loving the self. He also brought focus for me to that area between the heart and throat chakra that some consider a "newly activated" chakra- The Thymus Chakra, vibra...

A 30 Day Journey
2007-09-12 22:25:00
As I've said a few times in this blog, I've been kinda sorta in a bit of a limboland now for a couple of years. The cauldron's definitely been bubbling. Last Fall, I reached an all time low. Try as I might to be positive, to flow, to do/be all of that stuff, I was not a happy camper. I kept seeing it as a cycle of life, knowing it wouldn't last, but not finding respite. It kinda culminated with a huge family thing right before Christmas that jolted me big time with a situation that could have been lethal for one of my daughters. Muy scary for this Mom.After looking at all the "what if's" and things that "could have been," ....and.... given other situations in my life that had been building and intense, I realized about April that I had to let go of lots.Life started to turn.About July, I feel I reached a new level of surrender and letting go. Then the beginning of August, another piece fell into place and there was an even greater release. At the same time, things in life start...
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Paradox
2007-09-10 21:16:00
In trying to explain my worldview on here, I've focused, so far on the stuff that impacts lives in a very personal way- how we walk in the world, how we operate, live, create, find happiness. It's how I experience Spirit in every day life. This is the part of the discussion that's important to me. It's practical. I can't know how we got here. I can't know if God is a bearded guy sitting on a throne surrounded by angels and harps. Or if she is the void. I don't know about the spark that started it all...or if there was a start....or if there wasn't, how to understand all that. The macro part of theology is out of my control or my ability to comprehend and, truth be told, it doesn't impact me so I figure why waste time on it? I'm a practical, actional, body centered, Earth based sort of gal, making her way through this plane today here and now. I've had body experiences that have led me to understandings and more questions that I continue to explore. I feel as if I'm a pre...
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Personal Development Blog List
2007-09-10 19:03:00
Quelle Horreur!Awhile back, my good friend Karen Lynch nominated me for being on a list of Outstanding Personal Growth Blog gers begun by Priscilla Palmer. I then went brain dead and forgot to post the list.Better a bit late than never!! So...without further ado I now present the up to date list of Personal Growth Blogs!!Personal Develop ment List (up to date):Aaron Potts at Today is That DayAdam Alexander at Adam?s PeaceAdam Kayce at Monk at WorkAdam Khoo at Adam Khoo?s Philosophies and Investing InsightsAgentSully at Life Learning TodayAmber at Amber WavesApril Groves at Making Life Work For YouArgancel at C?eclair (for those who speak french)Ash aka Mr. Biggs at One Powerful WordAl at 7pproductions.comAlan Torres at Made to Be GreatAlex Shalman at AlexShalman.comAlexander Kjerulf at The Chief Happiness OfficerAlexys Fairfield at Unraveling The Spiritual MystiqueAlbert Foong at urbanmonk.netAlvaro at Sharp Brains BlogAmber at Random MangusAmie Ragan at Psychology of ClutterAmit Sodh...

Tantra- On Being Solo
2007-09-06 21:30:00
In her Thursday's Tantra Post of a couple weeks ago, Greenwoman said:"I am learning to trust this practice more and more as the weeks of solitary practice unfold also....though I will admit to not doing the pc exercises and the rocking with it most of the time. It is so stimulating to my sex drive that I find myself feeling horribly frustrated with it. I am not getting much sex or sexual/emotional intimacy, so it makes me feel really lonely to have my libido stroked, which is what the rocking and flexing does for me. Perhaps Pamm, who started her study of Tantra as a solitary practitioner, will give that one her attention and tell me how that's worked out for her....so in case you are wondering. No. This solitary practice has not been including masturbation for me.I fully expect to hear that this part of it will work just the same as the breathing does. *sigh...*"As Greenwoman stated, I began my "official" Tantric training when I single. Actually, I was newly separated. I had been...
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The Bubbling Cauldron Times
2007-09-04 21:29:00
I know these times are important. Words escape me, nothing calls to be written. I feel no particular direction calling me, no passionate creativity pulling me forward. I try, look, search, desire direction. But I have learned from past experience that these things cannot shift from trying. They must be felt and allowed. So, for today, I remain a vessel... gently holding a new concoction, not done yet. I will bubble, simmer, create something vastly different than the sum of its pieces and part. I smile and breath in the peace of knowing all is well. Image:The Bubbling Caudron of NGC 3079 from here
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Thursday's Tantra: I'm Visiting.....
2007-08-31 00:51:00
....over at Kara-Leah's blog "be Conscious now" today talking about Sex and Spirit. She was kind enough to ask me to be a guest blogger some time back. Come visit!! And check out all her other posts while there. She has lots of insights, great processes and ideas for connecting with Spirit, all pulled together with a huge heart that shines through.Image from here Also..don't forget to go visit my good friend Greenwoman for her Thursday's Tantra post on Resistance And Submission.

The Measure Of Success
2007-08-26 20:30:00
In days of yore, I was always focused on the end. I didn't understand it when people said that it wasn't the destination, it was the journey that was important. It was a total "huh?" disconnect for me.In the business world, success is defined by "results." If you are a sales person, it depends on how many and how large of sales you make, how big an account you bring in. If you are a lawyer, it's how many cases you've won. For a real estate agent, it's snagging the multi-million dollar piece of property to represent. We all like to set goals and achieve them, whatever our reasons. Maybe it's for the sense of accomplishment- a creation completed. Perhaps we want to succeed to feed our egos for whatever reason. Perhaps we are committed to something we believe will benefit the world. When things go according to our design, we automatically take it as our accomplishment, feel a sense of success. It feels good.But what if we try to do something and it doesn't turn out like we hoped...
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Tantra: Soul Gazing
2007-08-24 01:00:00
Short, sweet, simple post, but maybe the most profound Tantric experience: looking into the eyes of your partner for long periods of time. Whenever I do it, it feels like my partner and I melt into one another. I lose all sense of boundaries, separateness. Nothing exists but his eyes, the beating of my heart and the halo that surrounds us. To do this is simple...just gaze into the left eye, said to be the window to the soul. If you want to dress it up a bit, you can add a heart salutation, something I learned from Margo Anand. For this, you and your partner sit across from one another. Put your hands in the prayer pose pointing down to Earth. One person breathes, the other follows their breath (the best way to do synchronized breathing). After you've settled in and feel a connection, as you inhale you bring the hands up, still in prayer pose, to your hearts. With the next exhale you keep the hands at the heart and touch foreheads. Breath together there for awhile, closing your eyes...
More About: Soul , Tantra

Outstanding Women Bloggers!!!
2007-08-20 00:24:00
My dear Birthday Blog friend, Karen from Live the Power, has nominated me for being on the list of "Outstanding Women Bloggers ." I get to feel special even MORE this week!! Pretty cool.Valeria Maltoni of Conversation Agent is the brilliant mind behind this list. I get to pass on the celebration and the awards. So...I choose, Jennifer of Goodness Gracious and The Art of Intimacy, Kara Leah of be Conscious now, Isabella Mori of Change Therapy, and Greenwoman of Defining Spiritual Presence.All of you belong on a list of Outstanding Women Bloggers! Please pass along the honor to as many other Outstanding Women Bloggers as you wish.Here is the list so far??45 Things by Anita BruzzeseA Look at Art & Design: Lisa Mikulskiangiemckaig.com: still a great pair of legs Angie McKaigAnjaMerret.com by Anja MerretAsk Dr. Kirk The Artsy Asylum by Susan ReynoldsBack in Skinny Jeans by Stephanie QuilaoBalanced Life Center-Spirituality applied to Life by Nnekabe Conscious now by Kara-Leah MasinaBlo...
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Thursday's Tantra: An Erotic Healing Story
2007-08-17 01:27:00
The music in the background is a gentle, sensual, slow beat like the beating of a heart. She sits in Lotus, nude at her altar, lights two candles flanking the statue she has of Shiva embracing Shakti in Yab Yum.Her eyes now closed, she breathes deeply into her belly. With each breath, she feels herself go deeper and deeper into herself. She sees energy entering her first chakra, filling her, then moving out of her body with the exhale. With each breath she moves her focus up her body, allowing in clarity, cleansing each center, then allowing all that she no longer needs to leave with the outbreath. When she feels open, clear, she brings the earth's energy up into her, feeling it enter her body, swirling, filling her as she sends roots out her first chakra into the earth all the way to its core. She is grounded in the mother. Now with her outbreath, she feels roots coming out the top of her head, searching, traveling to the outer spaces, rooting her firmly in the father. Breathing i...
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I Feel Special
2007-08-15 03:32:00
I'm pretty blown away and just want to say a heartfelt Thank YOU!! to two people who have been kind enough to review my blog and say wonderful things about it. Makes my heart happy.The first honoring is from Darcy at Spiritual Blog Reviews. Her site is very informative because she's done the homework of checking out the blogs here in SpiritualBlogLand and gives a short synopsis, thereby saving us the work of having to sift and sort through archives. Go check her out!!!And a very special Thanks to Kara-Leah Masina of be Consious now, who gave this blog a really nice review. I was quite delighted and taken offguard...was not expecting it or the kind words. (I was, of course, being a bit self-critical as my webmaster has disappeared and I'm not sure of the direction I want to take...so lots isn't fininshed here to make it "professional.") She was very kind, wink, wink....Kara-Leah is an articulate, dedicated woman and a great writer. I am so impressed with her commitment to her and...
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Powerful Living 3- Loving Myself
2007-08-13 22:20:00
This is the third piece of how I live powerfully. The first two parts are about how I see The Victim, the second is my relationship with Death. These posts were inspired by Karen Lynch's Blog Birthday Bash. ________________________________I love us folk "on the path." I love hearing our stories how we came to where we are (one of the reasons I love blogs...free, ongoing, mini-biographies). I love how dedicated we become to our path of self discovery. We spend hours reading, studying, doing all sorts of practices, going to workshops, taking online courses, doing classes of all sorts and kinds on body, mind and Spirit. We are, as a group, committed. We do really difficult work, mucking our way through our issues (...and man this stuff takes time and energy...yes?). Once you're on The Path, there's "no going back...." right?????Our goals are "honorable." We want to become better to be happier, more productive people. We want to be better partners, parents and friends to those we lov...
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!!!Public Service Announcment!!!
2007-08-10 16:02:00
We've been playing the abundance game on the left sidebar for awhile now, with the winners listed there. Karen Lynch has won three times now and it's been way fun sending everyone tapes. I have a request- if you Stumble a post of mine, please let me know you are the stumbler so I can keep track and give credit for hits where credit is due!!! Leave a comment or send an email. Thanks!!!
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Thursday's Tantra: Another Side Of Tantra
2007-08-08 23:13:00
I know most people?s concept of Tantra is about it being all sweet and light. That's because it is. And while this is the comfortable, "acceptable" part of Tantra, this is not my experience of the whole of it. I call Tantra "the Path of Life." It's about being with all of life and being present in the now whether in sex or drinking tea or working on a project or riding a bike. It's about making every act, every second of our lives Sacred no matter that we do or where we go. Tantra is about the inner union of opposites to return to the One. It is exemplified in Tantric Sexual Union, where the polarities of our dualisitic world, male and female, yin and yang, join and remind us of our forgotten Union with the Divine. For me, the deeper meaning of Tantra is about the ?light? and the "dark? and how they are both part of existence no matter how much we want to run from the uncomfortableness one aspect may bring. We, as humans give the dark/the denied, meaning overlaid with our percept...
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Powerful Living 2: Death
2007-08-06 21:25:00
This post is the second in a three part series on Living Powerfully and was inspired by Karen Lynch over at Live The Power, who is celebrating her Blog Anniversary . Go check all her celebration stuff out as parties are fun. The first part of this series is here.There's nothing like remembering Death to put things in perspective. This is not a new topic for me on this blog as I consider my relationship with Death to be integral to Living Powerfully. As explained on that post, it was out of a very difficult period in my life that I decided to start living life as if I was going to die soon. Because I might. Death is now my constant friend, reminding me to live fully as best I can right now, because She calls me. I don't know when She will show up, but I know She eventually will. And when She does, I want to be able to look Her straight in the eye and say I've lived a life what makes me smile.We all know we're going to die as some strange abstract "out there" thing that happens t...
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Thursday's Tantra: Bringing The Energy Up
2007-08-03 06:06:00
If you've learned the basic breath, kegel and pelvic tilt and are combining the three (or at least two of them) you are ready for this stage of practice. Now the fun really begins where you get to start consciously bringing orgasmic energy up your body. You can increase your ability to feel Life energy flowing through you. It also forms the base for increasing orgasmic potential whether you are just beginning to feel it, want to enhance what you already feel, become multi-orgasmic, or if you are a man, help you with both PE and ED.I've included this picture of the chakra centers as a handy reference.Although not necessary, it helps with this exercise to have some hypnotic music to play. Something soothing, monotonous, entrancing is best. The CD, El Hadra, is an excellant choice.This exercise was first taught to me in its basic form in 1994 by Margo Anand. She calls it "Opening the Inner Flute" and it is included in its full on form in her book The Art of Sexual Ecstasy. I think it...
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Lughnasadh
2007-07-31 16:56:00
This is part six in the series of celebrating The Wheel Of The Year. All the "Cross Quarter Days" of which it is the third in the year, are celebrated about halfish way between the Soltices and Equinoxes. They are generally on the Eve's or day of of the first of the month- so Beltane is celebrated May 1, Samhain (now Halloween) is the night before All Soul's night. Lughnasadh (also spelled Lughnasa) is typically celebrated August 1 and is also called "Lammas."Some references say this was one of the fire festivals, others say it wasn't. Traditionally, it's the first of three harvest festivals. First harvests of grains were celebrated with breads of all sorts. Harvest fairs dotted the country side, people danced in celebration of the bounty of the crops. This was a time of handfasting for either temporary considerations or commitments to longer marriages. In my world interpreting and celebrating this festival, I see this time in the corresponding Wheel of Life as full on adultho...
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Powerful Living - The Victim
2007-07-29 21:41:00
This is the first in a three part series on how I came to live powerfully...or at least what I consider powerfully for me. Karen, over at Live The Power is having her Blog Birthday and having fun celebrations for it. Go check it out along with the rest of her blog as she's always got some sweet, gentle wisdom to share.Karen asked what living powerfully means to us. The more I pondered it, the more I was able to identify three specific areas where once I shifted my understandings of them, my life completely changed.One was when I finally understood my Victim Voice.Another was when I truly faced Death.And the final one was when I learned to Unconditionally Love All Of Me.These are all intimately intertwined for me. As this was starting to be a book, I decided to break it down into a series of posts so as to be more suitable for BlogLand.__________________________Victim is the most powerful Voice in the psyche and the most influential in our lives. Think about it- what else keeps us b...
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2nd Level Solo Tantra Exercises
2007-07-26 21:25:00
Best to read this for background on what the three basic exercises are before doing this one. I will make sense then. Helpful, aren't I??Once you have the Basic Breath, Pelvic Tilt and PC Pump down, now you get to have the real fun of combining them. At first it can be awkward, I know. It's a bitch to have to think about all this stuff and get the body moving in different ways when it's not used to doing so. But, as I tell my students, think of it as a sport or ballroom dancing. You learn certain steps slowly then combine them. At first you are gawky, but with practice it become second nature. Even if you don't want to do all three at first (or ever), combining two of them can make feelings and sensations different for you and start to open the Kundalini Pathways. Please remember this is NOT serious business. Play. I would suggest starting with two of these until they become second nature. Then, if you want, add the third in the mix for some real adventures.The easiest combinati...
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Powerfully Living Heroes
2007-07-25 21:24:00
My Sweet Friend Karen over at Live the Power is having a superduper celebration for her Blog's first birthday. She's got games, incentives and lots of fun prizes she's giving away in her monthlong party/fest. If you have a blog and want to play along, then be sure to visit her and find out all the fun things she has planned. If you don't have a blog, then be sure to visit her blog for the neverending, sweet, positive, uplifting message she has to share. Like me, she is an Abraham fan and has won the Abundance thank you in my sidebar twice now. I can report with full authority that she is as kind in email as in her blog. Blogland is Blessed to have someone who cares so deeply about others. Plus, as a bona fide hedonist, I, too, celebrate my birthday for at least a month, so want to support others in that vital endeavor.Karen has tagged me to write on Unlimited Power and what that means to me. She says "It can be about challenges, reaching goals, achieving dreams or just living th...
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Thursday's Tantra: The Three Basics
2007-07-19 18:49:00
Greenwoman returns soon!!! I can't wait until she shares what adventures she can with us upon her return. In the meantime, I am continuing her request to do some Thursday's Tantra posts. I've been enjoying them, so may continue the tradition. Perhaps we can get a whole slew of people writing about Tantra on Thursdays and have an unofficial webring or something. There are three exercises that I always teach as the basis for any Tantric work. They are Deep Belly Breathing, the PC Pump and the Pelvic Tilt. It's best to learn each independently first so they are second nature. After that, you learn to combine the three.The BreathIt's always best to start with the breath. You would be amazed at how difficult it can be to breathe correctly. Some people cannot feel their bodies. If you are one of these people don't give up, just keep trying and with practice you will get it. You want to really concentrate on taking a slow full breath in. Expand your belly, give room for your lungs to...
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Karma
2007-07-18 23:52:00
I received some interesting news in my inbox this morning. Two people who were instrumental in playing a part in my spirialing down and misery last year are under investigation and are in DEEP doodoo. These two people lied in a myriad of ways. Much of it was senseless, stupid, baffling stuff, some business stuff...all of it boggles my mind. They lied to us, to clients about business and spread lies about my partner in his business world. One was a person he had mentored and trusted. This mentored guy and I spent time together on a business trip and I thought we had a nice connection. It now feels like it was fake, but I don't know. Even liars have a heart somewhere in there. I know they do. He knew what he was doing. He emailed me and five others (not my partner) who were involved on the periphery and trusted him, a powerpoint presentation on Karma , Love and the Dalai Lama. One of the people cc'd was his girlfriend. He sent these email on the same day the two "partners in crime" m...
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Carnivals!!
2007-07-16 21:45:00
I've got some posts in a couple of Carnivals this week and wanted to send you their way for some wonderful writing by other authors.Momentous Feelings was chosen by K-L Masina to be included in her Be Conscious Now's Carnival of Truth #4.My favorite entry in this Carnival and below was from a new to me blog called Diary of a Bad Buddhist. Love this writing and the way she is so honest and not all flowery. The article submitted this time was Bad Buddhist vs. The Fourth Precept . Great fun.______________________________And the post called "Thursday's Tantra: Letting Go" was featured at the Meditation, Yoga and Spiritual Growth Carnival hosted at Treehouse Jukebox:Adventures In Earth.I enjoyed this article at Zen Chill Power called "The Power of Letting Go." I'm guessing it was a theme this week for me.The other one I really loved, mentioned above is Bad Buddhist Signs On posted at Diary of a Bad Buddhist. The Subtitle on the blog? "I'm going to follow the Eightfold Path if it fuc...

Edges Meme
2007-07-16 03:54:00
Garnet David of Glittering Muse has tagged me for a Meme that was started by Adam of "Monk At Work" called "What's Your Learning Edge?" Adam asks us to"Write a post about your ?learning edge? and what you?re into these days. Feel free to mention any books you?re reading, classes you?re taking, people you?re learning from or collaborating with, etc. Tell us about the gems you?re picking up, the fun you?re having, etc., especially if they?re shifting the way you look at what you do."My Edge? The place that occupies most of my mind these days? It's learning to trust my Voice above all else. It's showing up in two basic arenas:1) to trust the Path I've chosen (trust my Inner Voice) even when I have no outward manifestation to support it2) to trust my intuitive hits, then bring them up and out of my mouth. (Trust my Voice in the outer world.)Why are these such edges for me?For years I was tortured and unhappy. I lived a life of "shoulds" offered from every other voice but mine. Altho...

Thursday's Tantra: Letting Go
2007-07-12 20:18:00
I am sending zappies of Love to my friend Greenwoman, who usually does this Thursday's Tantra series on her blog. She is away on a Spirit Journey Ceremony adventure and asked me to fill in for her for a few weeks. Blessings to you Greenwoman!!! May your journeys be fruitful for you in all the ways you want them to be!! I thought I would share a ritual that helps release the connections of past partners whose energy you no longer want to keep in your body. I first did it in a women's group. We were told that esoteric thought is that all women keep a cord or energetic connection to every man they have slept with and that until we cut the cords, our energy is drained. And while I don't live in a world where I think anyone can do anything to me that I don't allow, I do hold to things unconsciously and this exercise has helped me feel better a number of times. I don't know if it also applies to men, but I got the impression that it does not. I can't help but think it a useful exerc...
More About: Letting

My Friend, Abraham
2007-07-10 19:59:00
I have a confession to make. I've only finished one book on self help or spirituality in about the last six years or so. I've started a few others after listening to friends rave, but I generally get bored after a few pages and stop. It all seems to be the same message to me, just said differently. And while I know it hits everyone in different ways at different times and am happy it all exists, I just got to a point where I couldn't read them any more.But....I do have one friend that I am definitely hooked into and depend on as a guide: Abraham .I've been on their weekly tape program on and off for many years. I have to admit that just like I've mentioned above with books, there is nothing there that's new for me. I see Abraham as my friend. So just like any other friend, I glean things that I'm missing...seeing pieces of the picture in different ways than I saw them before. But truth is, I get just as much enlightenment from conversations with my best friend on our morning w...
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