My Secret Spiritual Dance

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Secrets
2007-05-11 02:54:00
No, not the movie, "The Secret."I'm talking about the things we keep hidden from others, sometimes ourselves- what we look like when we stop smiling for the public.In high school I was suicidal a few times, terribly depressed for most of the rest of it. I had no one who thought like I did aside from some music I heard by the Moody Blues. Books like Be Here Now, Autobiography of a Yogi, authors Kahlil Gibran, Hermann Hesse made me feel like maybe there were others like me out there, who saw the world I did. It was very lonely in Detroit in the mid 70's with my worldview.It was quite the revelation to learn that I was not the only one. When I found out that most people were in pain in high school and just hid it behind a mask, I learned to look deeper beneath the smiles. And I learned that having experienced that pain, having accepted Death, I was able to open to Life and Joy exponentially.My experiences have made me very sensitive to pain in others. Since high school, much of my li...
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Law Of Attraction and I'm Sorry
2007-05-09 17:36:00
What does Law of Attraction have to do with saying I'm sorry? It's about being clear in my energy and the relationship I have with myself and another.When I say I'm sorry, is that what I'm really saying?First off, am I really "sorry?" Usually, it's that I'm feeling another emotion--Sad for you and life that I was blind to something I did that you now feel badly about. While I cannot control how you react to me, am not responsible for your internal processes, I'm sad that anything I unintentionally did is now causing pain somewhere in the universe. I cannot say I won't do it again, because it's me and I will not diminish myself to keep you safe, but I wish we could all be happy. I will sit with you while you figure out what it is that makes you sad about what I do/did because I care about you and know the journey can be eased with another's love by your side.The energy here says to me: It was not intentional, therefore I'm not really sorry because I have done nothing out o...
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Breema
2007-05-08 16:47:00
I have a Chiroprator friend in town who is amazing with the body. She seems to know every cell, what it does, what is connected to what, what nerve goes where. She's a yoga instructor as well, aligning the body properly so the postures are done correctly.A few years back she started telling me she was learning this form of Bodywork from Afghanistan called Breema. She told me she was slowly shifting all her patients to this Breema thing because it was so effective in aligning the body. It was really different, getting all the body's energies working correctly, I really should come in for a session, it was amazing, yadayada, etc.Because I am such a bodywork slut, most anyone who is trying anything new wants me to try it. But I put her off. She offered specials and kept bugging me to go in. Every time, I ignored her. Finally I had extra time, had developed more of a curiosity and she had a special that I couldn't refuse. What the heck, why not? I was in one of my back tweaked period...

Law Of Attraction: Bodywork
2007-05-07 18:05:00
One of the best ways to feel more in alignment is to be more in the body. A clear fluid body, free from accumulated stress can change a person's whole outlook on life. Ever get a massage? Remember how really really good a good one felt...like you are walking on air? The body and mind are linked. Sometimes I wonder where one begins and another ends. If I am stressed, my body cramps up. Shoulders tense and end up around the ears. Eventually the backs goes out. I've had countless occasions where my emotional release has an impact on my physical wellbeing. One notable time was when my back was in a tweak phase. I tried everything- chiropracty, massage, yoga, etc. Nothing worked and my back was sore for a few months. Then one day I was driving in the car and I felt like screaming. So I did. I screamed, cried and yelled all sorts of obscenities for a good ten minutes; sounds like a short amount of time, but try to maintain that level of intensity for that long. When I was done, my back ...
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Q&A 1- Law Of Attraction
2007-05-05 02:20:00
Law Of Attraction I have a dear friend who is very supportive and encouraging me with this blog and other creative endeavors. He has asked to be call Sam on here.We come from very different backgrounds. He is a man of science and math. I am a mystic. We have formed a very close friendship over the years. He has a number of questions about all this stuff. We talked about it and thought it might be fun to do Q&A's from time to time. His first question:Pamm, what a beautiful blog you are creating! Very moving writing andterrific artwork to go along. I can buy in some to what you are saying aboutthe Law of Attraction . Certainly there is great value in positive thinking.However I cannot reconcile ?creating my own world? with the idea that ?mylife has a purpose?. My spiritual belief is that the universe will help meaccomplish things only if I am moving in the direction of the purpose thathas been set for me. Can you help me with an explanation?Sam...I'm glad you like how this is going an...
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On Linear And Mystic Logic
2007-05-02 22:57:00
I've been reading about Fate and Choice on various blogs and in the media. I've been hearing about the controversy around "The Secret," a movie about Law of Attraction .Each time I hear the detractors, I consider the logic being used. I introduced my ideas about this here and will return to pieces and parts of the topic over time. Of course, Law of Attraction makes absolutely no sense at all when looked at from Line ar Logic . Do the critics really think that all who see this Law think that people with cancer, for instance, my mother, would consciously create their own death from a horrible disease, creating suffering for themselves in that way? Or that anything can just be surfacely "positively thought-ed" away? Or that people who experience a natural disaster are "to blame" because they "created" a hurricane? Or that a woman in the Congo asks to be raped while her children watched? Please. Give me a break. It makes no sense at all.It's unconscionable (not to mention rude, insensit...
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How I Do Law Of Attraction
2007-04-30 23:36:00
Law Of Attraction Yeah...so....I have this knowing that I create my world. Why/how would I choose anything other than a perfect life? Is my life perfect? Am I always smiling, feeling that Divine Connection and Mystical Oneness I have experienced so many times?No.I can get lost. My mind starts going places that bring pain. I go into negativity, losing Trust in my Voice. I forget that what is in front of me is safe, that nothing can harm me, that I am on my Path, that all is well. I know that all experience is experience...but I'm human, not an Avatar. I don't stay in BlissEnlightenment all the time. I've stopped placing that expectation on myself.I came here to be alive and experience all that is. Sometimes, it's not happy. Sometimes things are not what my mind wants them to be. I am in pain. I cry. I can be very good at whining. I get angry, upset, frustrated, lose hope. All of it.How do I live this Truth of Creating My World? How does Law of Attraction work in my real, practical...
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Responsibility Without Blame
2007-04-30 18:11:00
At first when I heard about this idea years ago, it resonated with me on an intellectual level. When this knowing entered my body, when I felt all that this means, my life truly changed. Magic.I learned:...Linear mind cannot fully grasp this concept. It has nothing to hold on to. Because it is a line, and a line has opposing ends, there must be good/bad, right/wrong, black/white, should/should not. Here, the world is created by a separate all powerful god with a plan, a god that judges from on high, condemns, doles out grace or damnation where he sees fit. If a person's life is good or they are born to a particular arbitrary tribe, they are one of The Chosen. If not, they "pay" for one reason or another: "bad" karmic debt being worked off, not accepting Jesus, Job at the whim of Yahweh because of a party taunt.Mystic mind sees the whole. All is one. All is Love. Even when we choose to not feel/see/be love, Love is extended. We are always and in all ways unconditionally supported an...
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Past Lives With My Ex
2007-04-29 23:40:00
Years ago, when my ex husband and I were in deep conflict, I was trying every avenue I could to understand our dynamic. I was looking at my early childhood: what early life patterns was I repeating here, patterns that had nothing to do with him but which I brought and he fulfilled for me? Where were my projections, what was my soul learning here? As I explored my early childhood, it occurred to me that there might also be issues that we carried as souls into this life from shared past lives. It made sense to me that if we are influenced from our early childhood that there was good chance that our soul memories might have impact here, too. I thought that if I understood what it was we were dealing with, it would help me on a very practical level right here, right now in this relationship dance we were doing.So I did a few past life regressions over time, going into them with the prayer to be shown things that would help me to understand my life in my now.I've spoken a bit about the ...
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What's My Path?
2007-04-27 06:39:00
When asked what my religion is, I never know what to say. In Italy last year, to stop discussion when I would be asked, I would just say "Buddhist." It's an easy handle to hold onto, even though I don't consider myself one. I used to call myself an Eclectic-Esoteric-Ancient-New Age-Pagan-Mystic. Then I just said Tantrika. Now it's either that or Mystic. It doesn't matter because I get the same blank look either way. So although it has no name, per se, it includes Tons of TantraA Little Mystic ChristianitySome Paganism/WiccaTons of New ThoughtA Smidge of HinduismA Good Amount of Buddhist PracticeShamanism My MotherBut my primary source, my place of greatest learning, my primary guide and what/who I listen to most. MePhoto/Art CreditsDalai Lama from Encyclopedia Britannica Shaman's Medicine Wheel from here Ocean from here Kali from here Mother Mary from Sandra Stanton Drawing Down The Moon taken from here New Thought/Law Of Attraction, Abraham-Hicks Tantra ShivaShakti from here
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Beltane
2007-04-25 23:31:00
Beltane is right around the corner: May Eve. Green is everywhere. Plants are maturing as are the animals born in early Spring. We see wonderful signs of sensuality all around us. The air is warm but not stifling yet (well...at least if you don't live where I do in Northern California, but play with me here.). Scents of flowers fill the air. The sun is high in the sky and the nights are still balmy. This is the time to celebrate the budding sensuality of the teens, when we're no longer a child but not yet fully adult with all the responsibilites that time of life requires. It's time to celebrate our bodies, the life force we feel running through us. Time to dance, sing, dress provocatively and celebrate our Orgasmic potential.This is one of the bawdy festivals we kinda sorta hear about from the olden times when people would dance around bonfires and have tons of sex. Lore has it that children conceived at this festival were considered Holy and the responsiblity of the community be...
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Ostara
2007-04-25 21:30:00
Yes, the word Easter is obviously from Ostara, Oestre or Ova, the egg. If you've ever wondered where the mascot for this Christian syncretized celebration came from, it's because Rabbit is one of the symbols of Oestara- a symbol of fertility. This is the celebration of the Spring or Vernal Equinox. It's a time to celebrate young children, life, gaiety and rejoicing at the return of Life to the planet.Flowers are blooming, the air is changing, trees are leafing out. Young animals are running around, birds return to sing again. The Earth gives promise of young growing life. We celebrate the return of Life to the planet with the sun staying higher and higher in the sky every day. Candles return to bear witness to our intentions and are placed on an outdoor altar with profuse color everywhere. Flowers, strawberries, ribbons, toys and all sorts of fun stuff abound. I like it best when this ceremony is performed at dawn, but most people are not as excited about that symbology if it mea...
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Imbolc
2007-04-25 01:50:00
Imbolc is celebrated in the beginning of February, generally around the 2nd. Bulbs will soon start to peek out of the ground. We know that process is beginning underground but even here in California we can't see them yet. Imbolc means either sheeps's womb or milk (depending on what reference you're reading.) This holiday is a fire holiday, one of the high Holy Days in Wicca. When the Catholic Church made its move into the lands that observed this holiday, they knew that to outlaw them completely would alienate the masses and be counter productive. So with this Holy Day as with all the Wiccan Holy Days, they overlay it with a celebration of their own--Candlemas. It's still practiced in many cultures today.It was around this time, too that the Romans used to celebrate their love rituals with Lupercalia. Around February 15, the young women would put their names into a pool to be picked by one of the young and they would spend the day together in celebration of passion and love. Th...
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The Wheel Of The Year
2007-04-25 00:06:00
From Cats In GlovesOnce upon a time our spirituality was more connected to the rhythms of the Earth. Most traditions had celebrations to give thanks for crops and to honor other seasonal cycles. The Old Western European traditions celebrated eight Holy Days which were aligned with the Soltices, the Equinoxes and the points in between which they called the Cross Quarter Days. There are probably tons of sites and other blogs that can go into all the history and such about all these and some day I will link to them and come back and edit this to reflect that for those who want to learn more and don't want to do a google search for Celtic or Pagan or Wiccan Wheel Of The Year .I started doing these ritual celebrations in 1989. I attended a workshop of these rituals led by Hallie Igelhart Austin the author of Woman Spirit: A Guide to Women's Wisdom,* at her home in Marin County. I happily trudged there eight times over the year after my mother died.I was so affected by the power of these...
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God Giving Birth
2007-04-23 17:17:00
God Giving Birth by Monica Sjoo Birth is not easy. It's not clean. It's messy, it's smelly, it's sticky. Women are in pain. They scream, they cry, they shit and pee.Birthing is chaotic, can never be controlled. Even the doctors who try to do so from fear (with their surgeries, pills, forceps, sonograms, monitors, etc.) cannot control it because it's about life. I learned in a very personal way that no procedure or intervention can stop a complication or sad outcome that is not going to happen.When you start attending births, you learn very quickly that there's a force present that is a part of you. You tap into it but it's not about you. This birth is about the family. A midwife does not "deliver" a baby. She assists the Mother to open and deliver this soul in this body in this plane of existence. The baby and the mother are who and what's in control. From our broader perspective and experience it's our job to watch the signs, see where things might be off either physically...
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My Early Spiritual Life
2007-04-23 05:04:00
I've always been a very spiritual person. My earliest memories of feeling God were on a swing singing. I felt escstatic, joy overflowing. I think one of the reasons I have always wanted to fly is because of those body memories. Every Sunday at my Catholic Church, I remember feeling in total awe of my surroundings. I would feel myself soaring in the rafters of the church, way above..not in an out of body sense, but elated. I fervently prayed to Mary- she was the one I focused in on in my childhood. I had various statures of her, a blue rosary, even a blue Bible. I felt called to be a Nun so I could devote my life to Mary and Jesus.It was a little before I reached the age of eleven that I started to have slight shifts in my ideas about the nunnery. By the time of my Confirmation I knew that something was wrong with the church I went to. In that ritual, the Bishop was supposed to symbolically slap us (it wasn't a strong slap, more like a tap). In response our ritual response was to k...
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A Passing
2007-04-22 03:33:00
I want to honor an important man in my life who recently died. I will call him Dave. Unlikely people come into our lives and they change our preconcieved notions of what it is to be human. Dave is one of those people for me. He was a Teacher of mine.When I met him, he was a pretty cantankerous crusty sort of fellow. We used to argue about his practices of dumping bags of garbage on the side of the road "to give the road crews something to do." Or when he burned his plastics. Or when he would go on a rant about how if he owned land with Redwood trees, he had the "right," bygolly, to cut them down because he owned them. He was always getting in shouting matches with service people. He was pretty cranky, pretty controlling, used to yell alot. Dave was a staunch Republican cattle rancher, a retired airline pilot. He loved to sit and "run the numbers," as he called it, on his cattle. He would constantly figure and refigure the feed, buying the marginal cattle no one wanted, cost of putti...
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Cleansing Cold
2007-04-20 19:46:00
art by Drew GuestI am really really sick. Sicker from a cold than I have been in years. I hab a head code and am all duffy.I'm in my body; actually I'm in my sinuses and my lungs. They require I be present with them. I have to remember to breathe, to open slowly so I don't cough but to open to bring life force into me to heal. My body's a bit sore, I don't have much energy. All I want to do is lie around and feel.I don't really do this sick thing very often, but when I do, I try to find out why my body decided to do this right now. What's it trying to tell me?A few weeks back, I got really sick from alcohol for the first time in twenty years. I had been graciously taken to an outrageous Japanese dinner and way overdid the sake. Not my usual MO. Later that night, when I woke up and drank more water, I got progressively nauseous. I ended up being sick all the next day and queasy/not right for about five days after.While I was out of it I started to self pleasure at one point an...
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What Is Tantra?
2007-04-19 17:28:00
After years of study, practice and observation, I decided that in one way Tantra is like Christianity. There are over 1700 flavors (sects) of Christianity with huge diversity of opinions, doctrines, practices, etc. It is the same here with Tantra.For instance..the Dalai Lama is a Tantrika. So was Osho/Rajneesh (the guru guy from Oregon who had all the Rolexes and Cadillacs and who got thrown out of a number of countries. His followers were accused of doing the first mass terrorist bio attack..they poisoned a restaurant buffet with E Coli to make sure people could not vote in a local election and they would control the town).With all this diversity, I decided there are three broad but distinct divisions of Tantra. Once delineated they make the question "What is Tantra" much easier for me to answer.1) Souped Up Nookie TantraThis is a term I read in a book by David and Ellen Ramsdale called Sexual Energy Ecstasy. This form of Tantra is the one everyone is familiar with and is in the me...

Feeling God: The Breath
2007-04-18 17:24:00
by Melanie WeidnerMy spirituality is experienced and discovered through my body. While others can and do access the Divine through the mind, I cannot. I have to let go of mine.The simplist, fastest, most effective way that I have found to do that is by non-stop Circular Brea th ing. It's easy to do: you take deep belly breaths with no breaks in between the inbreath and outbreath. Keep it rhythmically flowing without gaps.Some flavors and the Teachers that developed them:Rebirthing- Started by Leonard Orr. This is the most intense form of this form of breathwork. You just keep going with this one, never slowing down, never hestitating, always pushing through any and all physical or emotional resistance. Often done in water for an increased experience.Holotropic Breathwork- taught by Stanislov Graf. He combines the music with the breath. This form is not quite as aggressive as Rebirthing. It invites you to push through resistance but also to slow down if you feel the need.Radiance Brea...
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Alambra
2007-04-17 20:04:00
As a blogger I often wonder what to write about and how far into myself I want to go. I wonder what the focus and purpose of this all is for myself and why I chose to do it, much less continue to. I wonder if this blogland is a way for souls that are of a like mind to connect in ways that they never have the opportunity for. Do we write to bring light not only to our lives but maybe to touch others that yearn for those of a like mind but who cannot be found closeby?I know that when I was a teen full of all my questions about life, that I had nowhere to turn to find someone who was like me or who could even understand the world I saw. That baseline of "aloneness" has been one that remains. When I find another who walks a similar Path, I get excited and feel more alive. I don't know where my words touch, or why I get the idea to write them, or what it is all about on a deeper level. Sometimes I write posts that tweak me. It pushes my buttons that people I don't know are now privvy t...
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Fifth Chakra
2007-04-17 05:30:00
photo courtesy of Ronin Films/Monument FilmsI've always been a Spiritual Seeker. The first time I remember feeling that connection probably when I was about three. I remember feeling one with the universe, singing loudly while swinging. I was flying.In church, I would feel myself flying, again, above the congregation- not an out of body experience, per se, but just felt myself transported. This usually happened while singing also. I love to sing.And although I started this post thinking it would go one way, I've decided to follow my impulse and take it to the new place fingers are going with it.I have a thing with my fifth chakra. It's a family thing, carried down through my mother's side.My mother's brother died from strangulation when his windbreaker got caught on a nail he had used to replace a cotter pin on a grain elevator. The ripstop material got caught on the nail, then pulled him down until he died. He struggled. Both shoulder bones were broken from him trying to save ...
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