Emotional Abuse and Your Faith

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Another Pro Life Movement - Domestic Violence
2009-04-28 23:10:00
The Other Pro-Life Movement was an article I was reading on Today's Christian Woman. It was about: How to recognize and help rescue the battered women among us Authored by Corrie Cutrer.Many years ago Catherine Clark Kroeger faced a decision that would influence her life's course. Serving alongside her pastor husband, Catherine became aware of a woman in her church whose husband was physically abusing her.Incredibly, several influential church leaders discouraged Catherine from getting too involved. "To them, I was destroying the home by encouraging the woman to get away from the abuse," she remembers.Then Catherine received a call from the battered woman's counselor, who said, "You've got to get either the husband or the wife out of the home, or you're going to have a murder."So Catherine drove to the woman's house to pick her up and help her find shelter. "I decided preserving the life was more important at that time than preserving the family," Catherine says. It wasn't a...
More About: Domestic , Pro-Life , Violence , Domestic Violence

Churches Becoming Shelters for Domestic Violence Victims
2009-04-27 13:43:00
I saw this story recently, and it was based in Hawaii, and I have to admit my jaded side came out. Churches Could Soon Become Shelters for Domestic Violence Victims ? 'Don't count on it' was my first reaction. I realize that isn't the best reaction, but it was coming from my GUT and experience.KHON out of Hawaii mentioned due to huge budget cuts, etc they are looking to the church to help with this issue. They feel that it may cut close to the separation of church and state, but many other programs such as homelessness and food pantries are supplemented by churches. They hope the church will stand up and be counted, because its a HUGE need!I hope they do to, but I wouldn't place any bets on it! You may get a couple of churches that did bother to educate themselves, but that's all you will get. A VERY small number!Shelters need partnerships with churchesBefore anyone gets upset with me lets keep in mind that not all shelters are alike. Some may have volunteers that are MORE trai...
More About: Domestic Violence

It Takes Two To Tango!
2009-04-25 17:44:00
I have heard and read way to often the 'two to tango' phrase when people were confronted by hurtful cruel acts of a person acting abusive. Remember ABUSE IS A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR! I will admit at times early before I knew what I was dealing with I tended to engage with abusive people when I should have just choose another form of communication. I don't know how many times I have heard people state to others that they don't have to fight. You make a choice NOT TO! What people didn't realize is that can backfire on you as well. It reminds me of the time in school in which a bully approached me in the lunch room, and I spoke to my mother about my fear. She told me I had a choice to turn and walk away. I told her this person would jump me at that point. Instead of acknowledging that point she told me not to be silly about this.I think I learned from childhood how to detach from a situation, and I have to say it has its place. I won't tell you its the best way to handle t...
More About: Narcissism , Tango , Narcissist

Online Abuse Support Board
2009-04-19 17:04:00
I mentioned a new Online Abuse Support board a couple of months ago, and they have now started a home page and permanent address. Our Place has a new address, and I would encourage those readers that could use some real time support to go and check it out.They recently put a page up that speaks about some of the adminstrators, under the Who Are We? page, and also have a quick link to the forum.I personally have found alot of the contributors very helpful to me, along with so many others. They do have a faith section as well.If you feel that you could use some support, and you are not clear where to turn I would encourage you to come to Our Place. There are also other places of support that I have listed in the past, and have tried to post them in the link section of my blog. This has a been a good place for support of abused women, support of abused husbands, and YES there has been children there was well! They have had people from all walks of life come there, and many discussions ...
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Escape Button
2009-04-17 20:36:00
I made an escape button today. When you click on that escape button you will be sent to google.com.I figured I would share the html in case anyone else wished to place that on their blog.Click on the graphic below to understand what I'm talking about!I have placed the html code in a scroll box below, and all you have to do is copy it and paste it into a html gadget for blogger.Delete theat the beginning, and the at the end. I can't figure out HOW to delete it! Use your notepad program on your computer to do this. Other programs strip the html in a way that is NOT use able.
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Emotional Abuse and Your Faith Interviewed
2009-04-10 23:09:00
Recently, Waneta Dawn author of Behind the Hedge and myself (Hannah Thomas) of Emotional Abuse and Your Faith were interviewed on Blog Talk Radio by Sista Girl Speaks Up. She also had on her show two gentlemen: James Walker and Pastor Arthur Thompson.I thought I would post it in case anyone was interested in listening to us speak about domestic violence within the church.
More About: Suffering

Wives, Submit to your Husbands?
2009-04-05 21:53:00
I saw a video posted on YouTube that I wanted to share. It was a man that was responding to something he said joking around, and someone took it really serious. He was then reminded of his leadership and authority within the home. He was joking about pets in the family, and how certain dogs were HIS and the others were his wifes! He was being humorous. Here is his response about how men can take advantage of certain verses - even about Wives , Submit to your Husbands ! He was addressing the person reminding him about his authority.There always seems to one that has to bring up the verse in Genesis (3:16), and how God placed the order down there. I have to scratch my head in confusion everytime someone does this. We are talking about a curse - which I would assume to MOST people would be mean 'bad' no? The man will rule over her being a curse, and yet it is used as tool to have women obey men seems to contradicts how you are to deal with curses. I mean if you know God had cursed s...

Muslim women speak out about domestic violence
2009-03-31 16:19:00
The Buffalo news has a story about some Muslim Women in the Buffalo area that are SPEAKING OUT against what had happened to Aasiya Zubair Hassan, and about martial abuse within the Muslim home as well.We hear alot about the silence in the Muslim community over this awful tragedy, but there have been those that are speaking out!They also want to give people a glimpse of what the lives of Muslim women in Western New York are like. Because those lives, they admit, often seem to outsiders to be shrouded in mystery.It’s easy for people to see the garb they wear, the women said, and make assumptions about female repression in Muslim- American culture, especially where career opportunities and marital relationships are concerned.“It bothers me that the headscarf is such a barrier,” said Ahmed, 38.The three women said they do see one great good arising from the horrific death of Aasiya Hassan: a new openness about domestic violence, both within and outside of Muslim relationships.“S...
More About: Domestic , Violence , Speak

Group will bring HOPE to local Parishes!
2009-03-30 15:45:00
Catholic San Francisco has a group of people in San Franciso, California to help bring a light of HOPE to local Parishes! They will to help their local churches have an resource to deal with the evil of domestic violence.The Ministers of Light, an emerging group organized by lay Catholics in the Archdiocese of San Francisco, aims to shine a torch in a very dark place - the lives of those suffering from the effects of domestic violence.The group looks to fill a gap in the pastoral care available for fellow survivors and to raise awareness of domestic violence in local parishes, Marisela Sookraj, founder of the group and a survivor of domestic violence, told Catholic San Francisco.Sookraj said that while faith communities are often the first place a survivor will turn to when looking for services and counseling, many churches are ill equipped to handle the situation. Her goal is to train and install lay ministers to serve as in-house resources and advocates for survivors of domestic ...
More About: Local , Hope , Group

Jason Witten Helps the Fight Against Domestic Violence
2009-02-25 13:02:00
Childhood experience moves Cowboys' Witten to help domestic abuse victims Writes BP SportsHe remembers the screaming. He remembers the confusion, the doubt and all the other terrible consequences of domestic violence. He doesn?t want others to experience what he did growing up. So he?s doing something about it.While many NFL players occasionally throw a requisite bone to charities to satisfy their team?s public relations staff, Witten is the rare breed who cherishes self-sacrifice. He devotes untold hours to a myriad of different organizations, mostly involving children, the underprivileged and survivors of shattered homes. He also recently started his own foundation, S.C.O.R.E., which supports families in crisis.?I?m trying to break the cycle of family violence,? he said.You can find videos on youtube about this foundation that Witten started to combat domestic violence. This is the type of thing we need! Its not the fact he is a football star, but the fact he is man that is wil...
More About: Fight , Domestic , Violence , Domestic Violence , Jason

Another Woman Shot and Killed in the Church Parking Lot
2009-02-24 17:16:00
The Washington Post reports today that a 52-year-old Montgomery County woman was shot to death outside her church. It seems they had police there directly traffic at the church when they heard gunshots. The Police arrested the husband, and he is being held with no bond.People's Community Baptist Church in Silver Spring I'm sure is reeling after this murder within their walls. If you look at the comments (from the newspaper links) you do get some crazy ones as you would expect, but one was from a person that knew the victim.This poster knew Patricia Ann Simmons Kelly of Rockville, and I think she said it well!I knew Pat. She was a lovely woman and a beautiful spirit. What happened to Pat had nothing to do with church, but rather a personal, marital situation that had apparently gone very wrong. Please keep Pat and her family in your prayers, and in particular, her daughter -- a young girl who has lost her mother far too soon.Police said the husband had recently been asked to lea...
More About: Parking , Woman , Shot , The Church

Emotionally Destructive Relationships
2009-02-23 01:17:00
Leslie Vernick talks about her book the Emotionally Destructive Relationship.Check out the Emotionally Destructive Relationship! Also check out Leslie Vernick's Website!
More About: Relationships

Men's Group Raises $36,000 for Domestic Violence Shelter
2009-02-19 23:32:00
Early I had write about a Men's Group from Church Raises Funds for Domestic Violence , and it was reported today on The Evangelical Covenant Church website that raised $36,000 to help the local Shelter for domestic violence!NORTH EASTON, MA (February 16, 2009) ? Despite a difficult economy, the men?s group of Congregational Covenant Church recently raised $36,000 for two agencies assisting battered women.The men raised the funds through their ?Flavors of the World? dinner that included wine tasting, a dance, an auction, as well as coporate donations.The community also has been eager to support the dinner. ?We have made this into a very visible cause,? says Kevin Symmons, one of the co-chairs.This was the fourth annual dinner to benefit Womansplace Crisis Center, an emergency shelter, and HUGS II (Help Us Get Safe), a nonprofit organization that offers various services to combat domestic violence.In the past four years the men have raised more than $130,000. They held the first eve...
More About: Domestic abuse , Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Self Defense Lashing Back - do people grasp the differenc
2009-02-17 02:24:00
Do people not grasp the difference between self-defense and lashing back in anger?I'm sure most of you have heard about the situation with Rihanna and Brown in the news. Beyond the glitz and the glamour that engulfed the lives of Rihanna and Brown, who until now had an image of a wholesome lovey-dovey couple, there is the central question of domestic violence. There are all kinds of questions as to what really happened. What seems to sicken me is this continuing attitude of, "What did she do to provoke this?"Notes of This Native Son was writing about a debate he was having regarding when it is okay to hit a women? Let me be clear about something! When we are talking self-defense when being attacked - you pull out all the stops! No man, woman or child should NOT feel they couldn?t defend themselves when in danger! I don't care who it is that is attacking you!The problem comes with some of these parties that try to give examples to show when its okay to beat the daylights out of som...
More About: People , Domestic , Defense , Violence , Back

True Women Verus Feminists ... Here we go again!
2009-02-13 01:07:00
I wanted to talk about some articles I have seen regarding the New Women ?s Conference.First off I don't consider myself to be a Feminist. Secondly, I have to giggle at the definitions of feminism I hear about in the churches today anyway. Did you ever notice they use the most extreme examples, and just assume that most of the world accepts these models? How they are man haters, thinking they are the superior beings, and how they hate children, etc. Why the extremes? They seem to be using the same tactics as that Virginia Slim commercial example used at the True Women Conference. Virginia Slims wanting to break into the market so they used tactics that will make you remember them! True Women conference showed you how that brand of feminism goes to far, and has torn apart the families.If you have to use extreme examples of feminism to me you don't have much of a point. Its like they use the extremes as a scare tactic, and to try to coerce you into their other 'extreme' model ...
More About: Divorce , Verus

Elephants in the Room - Sermon on Domestic Abuse
2009-02-11 06:14:00
I found a video tonight as I was browsing. I have to say I was very touched, and at the end tears were coming down my cheeks as I listened to this pastor preach to his church. He spoke of sexual abuse of children, and domestic violence within the church. He spoke of how scripture is used to keep people within homes where violence is taking place. He spoke of the damaging effects of emotional abuse, and he spoke of how the world (attitudes at times) pretty much sets us the abuse that happens. He spoke of how Jesus would not wish others to stay in danger. He mentioned stories of how the cycle continues. You could hear the spirit and attitude in his voice, and you could HEAR the urgency! How its the most unreported crime, and yet the stats are awful as they are. Its about 20 minutes long, and towards the beginning his mic goes out! LOL Its about 10 seconds, and you see a lady RUN up and hand him a replacement! So its NOT your computer! Just wanted to warn you. How people's...
More About: Abuse , Domestic , Sermon , Domestic abuse , Room

Sheriff's corporal offers domestic violence program to churches
2009-02-03 16:18:00
The Murfeeesboro Post had an article about the police officer pictured, and son of a preacher that offered his services for education on domestic violence within the church.By: Lisa Marchesoni Posted: Friday, January 9, 2009 11:29 am Cpl. Nathan Pagel Helping pastors and church members deal with domestic violence issues more effectively is the goal of a sheriff?s corporal who developed a presentation about domestic violence dynamics based on Biblical terms.Cpl. Nathan Pagel is the son of Church of Christ preacher Wayne Pagel, who retired after 40 years of service in Giles County. The corporal teaches classes about the dynamics of domestic violence at the sheriff?s office.Pagel hopes his experiences will help pastors and church members better address domestic violence and help domestic violence victims who might be reached by the church.?I felt like people (pastors and church members) needed more education? beyond recommendations of counseling, prayer and advice to stay together a...
More About: Churches , Domestic , Violence , Offers , Program

Sermon on Domestic Abuse
2009-02-02 15:50:00
iChalice: Unitarian Universalism meets Web 2.0 had a sermon listed, and I would encourage you to go and visit to view the entire thing.It listed some very powerful quotes I felt. Thisthewaith, a minister and President of a Chicago theological school, tells of a woman who had complained to her husband of his abuse and the scars she bore. He responded that her bones were his bones, as it said in the Bible ? relating back to the story of Adam and Eve (?Every Two Minutes? 311). Other texts, such as 1 Peter 2:19-21 tell the faithful that they should suffer as Jesus suffered for them. As my colleague, Rev. Michael Tino writes, ?If a woman is taught to believe that the pain inflicted by her abusive [partner] is a test of her faith and her willingness to keep her family together no matter what the personal cost, there is a problem with what she is being taught?not with her (Tino ?Saving Paradise).?Oh what a day that will be when the words are gentle and the homes are safe. It?s up to us, ...
More About: Abuse , Domestic , Sermon , Domestic abuse

Men's Group from Church Raises Funds for Domestic Violence
2009-01-31 22:56:00
Wicked Local Mansfield Reports: Church Men?s Group raising funds for HUGS IIBy Rachel BoldenThu Jan 29, 2009, 12:55 PM ESTEaston - Each year the men of the Congregational Covenant Church in Easton raise funds to fight violence against women.On Friday, Feb. 6, the church?s Men?s Group hosts its annual Flavors of the World charity dinner dance at the Thorny Lea Golf Club in Brockton from 7 p.m. to midnight. Proceeds will benefit Help Us Get Safe (HUGS) II and the Womansplace Crisis Center, both local nonprofit organizations which offer shelter and counseling to victims of domestic violence.The Men?s Group became involved with the cause about six years ago, when one of its members served on the jury of a domestic violence case. The fund-raising event, now in its fourth year, began as a modest dinner in a church basement and raised $5,000.Since then, Flavors of the World has dramatically increased both its popularity and its profit. Proceeds have more than doubled since the event?s ince...
More About: Domestic , Violence , Domestic Violence

Pattern of Behavior: Domestic Violence and Faith
2009-01-29 16:59:00
I think one of the most overlooked characteristic of abusers seem to be the pattern of behavior they portray. I?m not sure if that is due to the spouse?s reactions to their behavior, or if people just genuinely don?t wish to see it. It is a huge source of frustration to me.Since every person on this earth is custom for the most part people will have certain aspects of behaviors that can?t come straight off lists you read. One of the aspects that seem to trigger the behavior is their sense of anxiety over something. I realize that anxiety isn?t a comfortable feeling, but we all have some of it to deal with in life. The reason I feel this is their reactions to small mundane things in life.I remember one story that I was told was about how this woman?s husband loved tortilla chips, and they MUST be round ones! He didn?t want the triangle ones. Now in most cases people wouldn?t have an issue finding those round chips for him. It seems odd, but then again it isn?t worth fighting over. Th...
More About: Faith , Behavior , Domestic , Domestic abuse , Violence

The Bible Does Allow Divorce in Domestic Abuse Cases
2009-01-28 20:57:00
Barbara Roberts author of Not Under Bondage was cited on the Christian New Wire, and stating "The Bible Does Allow Divorce in Domestic Abuse Cases"The Barbara Roberts in the article goes on to state:Using the scriptures and scholarly research, the book refutes the official policy concerning divorce held by many evangelical churches and denominations. Not Under Bondage explains the scriptural dilemmas of abuse victims and shows how the Bible sets victims of abuse free from bondage and guilt.The author is a Christian survivor of domestic abuse who is concerned about how false teaching on domestic abuse in churches may be damaging victims of domestic abuse and their children, as well as neglecting the biblical directive to make perpetrators properly accountable. Not Under Bondage is the result of three years work researching Christian beliefs and the biblical texts about divorce.Sparked by a message forbidding divorce to abuse victims posted on Rick Warren's Saddleback Church site, Ch...
More About: Domestic abuse

Waneta Dawn and her Award Winning Book "Behind the Hedge"
2009-01-27 17:51:00
Waneta Dawn got a really NICE write up in the Kalona News this last week about her book, "Behind the Hedge ". It also announced her awards that she was given for her peice of literature!Google has a really nice introduction into "Behind the Hedge" that you can check out for yourself! You can read a portion of the book, and then I know you will want to buy it for yourself to see how the story ends UP! The newspaper story describes the two awards that Waneta Dawn was awarded for her book "Behind the Hedge". Kalona author Waneta Dawn's "Behind the Hedge" was named first runner-up in the 2008 Xulon Christian Choice Book Award s, a contest that awarded certificates and prize money to 66 Christian authors for outstanding literary achievement in 22 categories. Dawn's novel also was awarded the top honor in the Christian Fiction division. "Behind the Hedge" Each of these books was selected by the judges to be highlighted in this shortlist of favorites. The contest, which was open to all ...
More About: Winning

Biblical Battered Wife Syndrome
2009-01-26 19:44:00
Biblical Battered Wife Syndrome : Christian Women and Domestic Violence is article written by Kathryn Joyce on Religion Dispatches. Kathryn is also the author of, "Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement"This article was written about Saddleback Church's position on domestic violence, divorce, and how they feel it should be handled. I had written prior how I think their stand on how you 'can't escape the pain' so you need to separate and figure this things out is an unrealistic view of the overall picture he is attempting to address. The article in question goes into that audio I spoke about, and also another one that speaks about miserable marriages. Tom Holladay decided that he could qualify what he feels as domestic violence as being, "habit of beating you regularly". A SHOVE doesn't qualify you see!Three writers that I have spoke about here prior were quoted within the article. Jocelyn Andersen of Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence and Danni Moss...
More About: Biblical

Gossip? Lets look at the intent!
2009-01-24 18:52:00
Its Gossip ! Do not talk about this! You are dishonoring those you should love!Here are some definitions of gossip that I found.1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing.4. A person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others5 A rumor or report of an intimate nature.If you have read anything in regards to forms of abuse like Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, etc. the biggest killer is silence. People can't help you if they don't know what is going on.I have seen time and time again Christians shutting down others by telling them NOT to speak of their spouse, unless they are to edify them. In one of my last last posts about a song about verbal abuse I spoke of a story towards the end. It was about a lady that had survived an abusive relationship, and she didn't feel she could really speak of it.The reason th...

Song about Verbal Abuse and Emotional Abuse
2009-01-22 16:26:00
Those Words Hurt is a song that was on For the Black and Blue. The song to me was about a spouse that threw words at his spouse with the intent to hurt her with emotional abuse and verbal abuse.If you listen to the song it has a ring of truth, but what stuck me was the refrain:Her mind tells her("That's not true")Those cruel words("That's not true")Do not contain an ounce of truth("That's just not true")But repetition("Could that be true?)Has effect("Could that be true?")Repetition("Why would he say that..)Has effect(...if that wasn't true?)Repetition("You're weak, you're sick...)Has effect(... you have no class")The parts in like ("That's just not true") is the things you say to yourself as you hear the emotional abuse, and verbal abuse thrown at you. Go and listen to the song, and tell me what you think?It ended with a story:It's wrong to verbally abuse someone, but should we talk about those who do us wrong?We all know that it's wrong to gossip.We know that we should b...
More About: Abuse , Song , Emotional

Scholarship for Abuse Victims
2009-01-21 16:41:00
Moms Without Kids: A Family Court Holocaust mentioned a program for scholarship for abuse victims.The Women?s Independence Scholarship Program, Inc. began as a program of The Sunshine LadyFoundation (SLF) in 1999 and has provided more than $16 million in scholarships since its inception.WISP is for women who are survivors of intimate partner abuse and are either currently attending or thinking about attending school.Support is available for full or part-time students in accredited educational programs.Applications are accepted on a continuous basis.Please allow at least two (2) months for processing.More information, including complete eligibility requirements and an application are available online at www.wispinc.orgFor additional questions, call toll-free 866-255-7742Women?s Independence Scholarship Program (WISP)Scholarship Funds AvailableWhat a nice idea, and thank you for this awesome scholarship opportunity!
More About: Abuse , Victims

No One Would Tell
2009-01-20 17:39:00
No One Would Tell Movie.

Series on Domestic Violence
2009-01-19 20:04:00
Honolulu Advertiser is running a series on domestic violence, and I wanted to share with everyone.Part One - Domestic Violence Part Two: An Abuser's StoryDomestic Abuse; Bystanders Responsibility
More About: Series , Domestic Violence

Saddleback says you CAN'T ESCAPE THE PAIN!!
2009-01-17 23:49:00
Saddleback Church - Does the bible say it is alright to divorce a spouse that is abusing you? Question 32. Danni at Because it matters beat me to the transcript as I was doing the same thing. lol She is faster than I am! Anyway, here is what was said:Someone asked this out of their heart though, ?Does the Bible say it is alright to divorce a spouse who is abusing you. I think that?s an excellent question of Scripture. It?s not like you can escape the pain. You think you are. There?s an immediate release when you divorce and you think I?ve escaped the pain but anyone in this room who has been divorced you could come up here and give testimony after testimony after testimony after testimony to say that, no, you don?t escape the pain. There?s still a pain there. It?s a long-term pain. It may come years later when a son or daughter graduates from high school and they have to get back together somehow and make that thing work. It may come years later as you talk with a new spouse and an ...
More About: Pain , Domestic abuse , Escape , Entitlement

Video about Protection Orders for Domestic Violence
2009-01-17 01:02:00
Video about Protection Orders for Domestic Violence or Domestic Abuse. This is from the State of Alaska, and I'm sure certain things vary from other areas. It is a good starting place for you, as I'm sure some of it would apply in alot of areas.
More About: Video , Domestic Violence