Emotional Abuse and Your Faith

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Domestic Violence Victim is Told to NOT divorce on RADIO!
2008-06-24 10:17:00
Abstract-Ellie wrote about a call regarding a women whom experienced a beating from husband per the advice given on Family Radio . I guess the victim alone needs counseling in cases of domestic violence!Pastor: Ok, let's have the next callerCaller: Hi Pastor, my sister called you about 6 months ago about some of your tracts she was handing out at her church, and how her husband didn't approve?P: OK, and what can I do for you today?C: Well, you said she should hand out the tracts and then let her husband discipline her later.P: OKC: Well, he disciplined her pretty hard. Gave her a couple of breaks and stuff. My question to you is, does she have to to go back to him after what's happened?P: (long pause) Well, uh, one thing I should say is... this abuse.... uh... don't think of it as justification for a divorce, God tells us how no matter what, divorce should never even be thought of as an option, so please please, don't even think about that.. Now, maybe your sister might be able...
More About: Divorce , Domestic , Violence , Domestic Violence

INTRODUCTION: VICTIM OR SURVIVOR? A Deeper Look into the Question
2008-06-23 21:47:00
I'm Standing on the Edge of a Raisin is a very heart wrecking story of a survivor of domestic violence, emotional abuse, verbal abuse ...and much MUCH more!So many times I have heard stories of others telling spouses that are experiencing domestic violence that they MUST get into couple's counseling PRONTO! That's insane! Couple's counseling is the LAST thing you do! I'm not going to say you NEVER do that, but certainly NOT while the abuser is still ABUSING!Lets use some common sense for a minute here okay? YEP here comes my sarcasm! You have one person that controls and is abusive and chances are very vindictive at times! A scary person! Then you have the victim. Lets go back to our childhood and remember the bully and the one they LOVED to beat up on a regular basis! What happened to that bullied child in the principal office if he tattled? If the child did it once - they thought twice if they were faced with it again! Payback is normal for abusers also. Did you ...
More About: Question , Survivor , Introduction , Victim

Newsboys - He Reigns
2008-06-20 15:54:00
Praise singing always lifts spirit I believe! Even in the grips of emotional abuse and verbal abuse we need to remember this!What are some of your favorites? I like this song! God will rescue all victims of domestic violence!

Sticks and Stones...and names will never hurt me!
2008-06-19 10:33:00
Verbal Abuse - Emotional AbuseI wish he would just HIT me so I would feel I could leave!You have to be extra nice to your spouse and be very careful to avoid any disrespectful judgements....you don't want to give your husband any ammunition like angry outburts, disrespectful judgements, and selfish demands as an excuseNo one takes me serious enough because he has never laid on hand on me!It truly kills me when I read things like this, and other statements people have made to shame the hurting person into staying put. Telling them this is their axe to grind for life, and just pray for them and be nicer ..... and wait for God to come down on their heads!Danni at Because It Matters did a awesome series of articles about verbal abuse.Sticks & Stones : Why Verbal Abuse Kills, IBecause we identify people by their external appearance, we are confusing physical injuries with the substance of the abuse. OK, that sounded a little disconnected. Bear with me a minute here.Remember, who you ...
More About: Hurt , Names

Breaking the Silence - Children's stories of domestic violence! PBS
2008-06-18 12:24:00
I finally found it. Its a video I had heard about on PBS, and it speaks about the children of domestic violence. I realize domestic violence is a strong term for alot of people, but if you see this documentary you will realize that signs of verbal abuse, and signs of emotional abuse are always present. Its portion of domestic violence that people don't wish to acknowledge. There have been alot of critics of 'Breaking the Silence - Children's Stories of Domestic Violence '. The parents that lost custody do speak of course, but the children are speaking just as loud. The children that grew up, and were able to see things clearer now. They also see the emotional child abuse, and the verbal child abuse that was used towards them. It talks to the children that were ripped from the parents that cared for them, and how the system at times can work against them. It has children that have finally escaped, and NOT just their parents that wanted custody of them. It shows how backw...
More About: Domestic Violence

Verizon starts program to educate its employees about Domestic Violence
2008-06-17 08:26:00
Domestic Violence and The Work Place had an article on Verizon Wireless. Remember verbal abuse and Emotional Abuse do fall under domestic violence!CAEPV Member of the Month - Verizon Wireless and they stated their thanks below:Congratulations to Verizon Wireless -- CAEPV's "Member of the Month." Verizon Wireless has a long history of working to prevent domestic violence both within the workplace and in the communities where it does business.Verizon Wireless' focus on preventing domestic violence and raising awareness of the issues began in 1995 with the introduction of its HopeLine® phone recycling program. The program began when the company donated voicemail boxes to local shelters and has grown into a multifaceted program that includes a successful phone recycling and re-use effort, financial support for local and national domestic violence organizations, community and corporate awareness programs, and partnerships with law enforcement agencies, professional sports teams, educat...
More About: Employees , Domestic , Program

Aware Helpline: Verbal abuse - These are powerful!
2008-06-16 10:41:00
Aware Helpline: Verbal abuseThe Ads of the World have a couple of these types of ads trying to get the message across how damaging verbal abuse can be.I realize this is NOT faithbased, but I found the ads to be very well done and powerful!Check out the link for further examples of their ads targeting towards emotional abuse and verbal abuse!!
More About: Abuse , Aware

These are some of the common things most abusers say
2008-06-14 20:42:00
I was reading today, and I found a blog called, My Quest My Identity? Empowering Woman.. It speaks of patterns of Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse, and Physical Abuse within relationshipsThe blogger has some very good information on the blog about domestic violence.One of the things that I remember in my own journey to recognize the emotional abuse, and I see with so many others the reality that abusive people seem to say the same things. Its like they can some type of script they all use, and that is sign of emotional verbal abuse. Some victims feel they are the only ones that hear this type of thing, and when they hear what others have to say about their abuser's talk...they look at each other and say, "Are you married to the same person?"I'm not going to say they are all the same, because some have slightly different signs of emotional abuse. That was one of the excuses I gave myself when I didn't wish to face what was happening to me. I remember reading Patricia Evan's '...
More About: Common , Things

Fight the Smears
2008-06-12 20:51:00
How many people would LOVE to have a website Dedicated to 'Fight The Smear' campaign against themselves??Dallas Morning News:One thing I like about Barack Obama is that he uses the Internet in a new way, not just to get a message out, but to truly engage people. It's pretty obvious that one of the creators of Facebook is a senior adviser to him. This could be a Facebook candidacy ... maybe even presidency.Latest example: Check out the Fight the Smears portion of his Web site. He won't sit back and let himself be Swit Boated. Not only did the "I'm above that" strategy fail for John Kerry, but responding verbally is not nearly enough in this day and age. You have to put the truth out there and make it easy for people to share it. Obama has done that. I'm impressed. And thanks for Reader Steve H. for sharing this with me.One quibble. The site claims to debunk the lie that Obama does not recite the pledge or cross his heart during it by showing a video of him leading the pledge on...

Do you realize what your words can do?
2008-06-12 10:14:00
Its amazing that these kids can get this, and yet adults don't see the power of words.I think the video speaks for itself!
More About: Words

Church?s Approach to Domestic Violence Raises Eyebrows
2008-06-11 09:34:00
Chicago Public Radio had a article about a church there that is working with violent men.On the second-floor of St. Pius V, a Catholic church in Chicago?s Pilsen neighborhood, 22 men are winding down their weekly meeting. Facilitator Carlos López reminds the men about a verse from the New Testament book Ephesians: ?Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.? And López turns to a stocky young man who?s attending for the first time.LOPEZ: Hay algunas reacciones? Qué dices acerca de esta nueva experiencia?The man says last year he and his wife had a fight in which she provoked him and he blacked out. He quickly fast-forwards to sleepless nights this year when he suspected she was having an affair. But some other men in the circle ask him to rewind to that blackout. The young man eventually admits he was choking his wife. López calls that disclosure a step toward taking responsibility for the abuse.LOPEZ: He was able to break denial. And t...
More About: Church , Domestic , Violence , Domestic Violence , Eyebrows

Family Court Crisis; Our Children at Risk
2008-06-10 18:36:00
This video below is about 43 minutes, and it shows the breakdown of the legal system in the family court. Along with personnel it shows the stories of 2 ladies and 1 gentlemen, and how the system isn't working for the rights of the children. How they want to bring about chance, instead of lining the pockets of lawyers, mediators, therapists and the rest. 2008 Family Law Documentary www.CenterForJudicialExcellence.orgAs part of our ongoing effort to educate and engage the community, the Center for Judicial Excellence recently produced a 42-minute documentary addressing the serious systemic breakdown of our family courts. Family Court Crisis : Our Children At Risk features personal testimony from individuals who have experienced the pitfalls of our family law system and expert evaluations of what has gone wrong. The video was screened on the East Coast as part of the fifth annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference on January 12, 2008. www.BatteredMothersCustodyConference.orgA dvocacyW...
More About: Suffering

Why Have You Forsaken Me?
2008-06-09 18:05:00
Markham's Behavioral Health Linked to a sermon called "Why Have Your Forsaken Me? It deals with domestic violence within the church, and some of the myths and scripture that is used to NOT deal with it! codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.co m/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#ve rsion=7,0,0,0" id="xspf_player" align="middle" height="170" width="400"> type="application/x-shockwave-flash" bgcolor="#e6e6e6" name="xspf_player" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go /getflashplayer" align="middle" height="170" width="400"/>

Our New Look!
2008-06-07 16:33:00
I have been busy working to create a different look for the blog. I had a test page that I was playing around with, and finally decided this week its TIME to go live!I know alot of you have blogs and as well, and I wanted to share a blog that have been very helpful fo me!Blogger Buster is a good site, and they also have a book you can download called, 'The Cheat's Guide to customizing blogger templates'.Thank you Amanda for all your great information!So everyone what do you think? I would love some serious feedback - good and bad!Are their ways to improve it? I figured after almost 6 years I should do something!

Click to Empower
2008-06-06 20:02:00
Has been added to my blog in support of Allstate Foundation to support Victims of Domestic Violence.If you have a blog or website that you would like to add it toClick To Empower, and their other website for more information.

Verbal Abuse of Children Caught on Tape
2008-06-05 20:11:00
To often I find that people do not understand verbal and emotional abuse. They tend to downplay it, and if you would JUST be nicer you could change the person.Diversion off the verbally abusive person and its placed back ON the person that is enduring the abuse.Below are two examples of children being verbally abused, and people are outraged for good reason.I found that if is targeted towards a spouse they are asked, "What did you do to make them so mad?" Its not a matter of doing anything. Its a matter of dealing with an irrational person.Please keep in mind both of these videos can be very triggering to people, so please keep that in mind.I need to warn you before you view this video that it can be very triggering, and will be hard to watch. The child got to the point where he lashed back, and its a good example of the helplessness you feel when on the recieving end of verbal and emotional abuse. They feel they have no other options but to defend themselves.It shows how the v...
More About: Abuse , Children , Caught

What is Emotional Abuse actually?
2008-06-05 14:49:00
I think most people have seen lists of behaviors from a number of different sources about emotional abuse, but what most don't grasp is that this is a pattern of behavior. Emotional abuse has a pattern of behavior!PATTERN is the key element to this concept of emotional abuse, and just because someone is ugly one day doesn't make them abusive.I think people tend to overuse the word 'emotional abuse' myself. ABUSE in general tends to be overused as well. Abuse is a 'PATTERN' of behavior not just being what the world calls a 'jerk' on occasion. Can't name a person on earth that hasn't been guilty of that!Recently, I heard a pastor describe this very well. I will try to place it in a nutshell for you. He mentioned that week he had worked with a number of others at the church on a project he was responsible for. They didn't do something his way, and he got all bent out shape over it. Instead of handling it the way we are asked to he basically had a temper tantrum instead. H...

Children of Uxoricide - When one parent kills the other....what happens to
2008-06-03 17:18:00
I found this video on youtube, and they are speaking of a segment of the population that are pretty much ignored. They are speaking about the children that are left after one parent kills the other. What happens to them, and the silence they are forced to take on about that day/night when they lost both of their parents.I can't imagine the pain and torment these children have to stuff away to make it comfortable for the rest of the world, and yet I have to be reminded that even before the death that silence was there.In this video they are going to speak about what they call, 'uxoricide'. Its a clinical term for when one parent kills the other. The video speaks of what happens to those children after this has taken place.Most of the time when uxoricide happens the child is taken to live with a grandmother, and in this study those grandmothers asked, 'What about the children? How do we raise them? How do we help them?' They did a search, and there was no material at all a...
More About: Children , Parent

Teacher had Class VOTE to remove their fellow childmate OUT!
2008-06-01 03:06:00
Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo had a vote last week with her class to teach a child a lesson about how his behavior effected his classmates. She felt that maybe if he heard this from someone else besides adults he may grasp the situation better, and respect others in a more proper fashion. According to Slate: Alex, who is autistic, was taken to the assistant principal, to whom he promised he would "not kick students, throw crayons, eat crayons, crawl under the table, kick the table of other students ... [or] disrupt the class," according to a police report. (See excerpts below and on the following six pages.) The assistant principal tucked in Alex's shirt, put his "shoes on the right feet and tied them," and sent Alex back to class. During Alex's absence, his teacher, Wendy Portillo, "gathered the students to talk with them" about the youngster's misbehavior. When Alex returned, Portillo, who has been teaching in Port Lucie for 12 years, directed the youngste...
More About: Vote , Teacher , Class

Domestic Violence and the Church
2008-05-30 18:29:00
Exeter CRC had an article called, "Domestic Violence and the Church "It spoke of her own personal journey dealing with this issue, and how the church failed her!Its VERY moving!Annette - one of the responses to this article states:But this has NO bearing on this discussion. Is having women in spiritual leadership over a body of believers biblical? That's what this discussion is about. Not on the horrors of domestic or child abuse, and the bad responses to it.I recognize that it is easy to link the two, but they are different, and seeing that difference is important.I say it DOES!LOL I of course responded!I'm personally confused by Annette's comments.'''But this has NO bearing on this discussion. Is having women in spiritual leadership over a body of believers biblical? That's what this discussion is about. Not on the horrors of domestic or child abuse, and the bad responses to it.'''If you are saying that men only have the spiritual leadership role what is being done about ...
More About: The Church , Domestic Violence

Emotional Abuse in the Local Church
2008-05-29 18:07:00
Family.org had an article about Emotional Abuse that I wanted to share!"In the pews of every church, including yours, are women who are victims of abuse,"1 wrote Brenda Branson and Paula Silva in their book, Pastor's Guide?Dealing with Domestic Violence.Silva is co-founder and vice president of FOCUS Ministries, Inc., one of the few Christian ministries devoted to helping victims of domestic violence and educating pastors on abuse. For Christians and non-Christians alike, the nature of domestic abuse is psychological."Emotional abuse is always a component of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse, but it can also stand alone," she says. "In all cases of abuse, the perpetrator uses intimidation, humiliation, isolation and fear to diminish their victim's sense of self and sanity." Making your church a safer placeNaturally, Christians in emotionally abusive relationships turn to their churches and pastors for help. Some feel loved and accepted unconditionally; others walk away more deepl...
More About: Church , Local , Local Church

Calvary Baptist's Partnership with the Domestic Violence Shelter
2008-05-29 05:57:00
Calvary is initiating the Adopt a Room Program with the Murfreesboro Domestic Violence Shelter You have to wonder how much the world would be effected if all churches would adopt a room!Thank you Calvary Baptist!
More About: Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence and The Church
2008-05-27 17:52:00
What do you think??
More About: Church , Domestic , Violence , The Church , Domestic Violence

Husbands, God Hates Divorce? But He Also Hates?
2008-05-26 17:46:00
Portion of an article written by: By Kevin McCarthyWhat am I getting at? I have personally known men ? professing Christian men ? who have treated their wives shabbily by intimidating them, domineering them, belittling them, dealing deceitfully with them, ordering them around like slaves, who have seemed to think their wives were their captives because, ?God hates divorce.? Yes, God hates divorce, but he also hates these men and what they do. They seem to think that because the Bible tells the wife to submit to her husband, that automatically makes the husband ?Dictator for Life? with a mandate for iron-fisted command. They might have heard somewhere that the husband has certain responsibilities towards his wife, but they certainly don?t act as if they have any idea what those responsibilities are, and they fail to see how the husband?s responsibilities actually make him the wife?s servant! This is written to these men, who proudly proclaim that divorce is not an option (at least fo...
More About: Divorce , Husbands

Hope From Ashes
2008-05-23 16:55:00
Hopes From Ashes Wrote me a Note:I?ve just started writing a blog that details my own survival from an abusive marriage...I thought it would be helpful to others, and wanted to share!!
More About: Hope

Divorce Court With Juanita Bynum
2008-05-22 15:39:00
I heard about this, and saw that it was on Youtube! Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 1Juanita bynum on divorce court 2Juanita bynum on divorce Court 3Juanita Byum on Divorce Court 4Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 5Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 6Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 7Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court 8 Juanita Bynum On Divorce Court 9
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Real Quick!
2008-05-22 02:58:00
I was trying a widget intense debate for my comment section, and I was having issues with it!Once I get that figured out - I will restore the comments made recently.Thank you!
More About: Quick , Real

The woman's place....
2008-05-21 16:46:00
Katherine Gunn of A Voice in the Desert has a very good article on the woman's place!Here is a portion at the beginning!The Hebrew word used in Genesis 2:18, 20 to describe Eve is 'ezer.' According to Strong's Concordance, this Hebrew word is used in the following verses: a) Isaiah 30:5, Ezekiel 12:14 and Daniel 11:34 to describe groups or nations that Israel, mainly, were leaning on instead of leaning on God; 2) Exodus 18:4, Deuteronomy 33:7, 33:26, 29, Psalm 20:2, 33:20, 70:5, 89:19, 115:9, 10, 11, 121:1, 2, 124:8, 146:5, and Hosea 13:9 to describe God's relationship to Israel. In the Genesis verses, it is translated meet (KJV), while in all the other verses, it is translated help (KJV). Hmm... so the word used is not a subservient one - unless we are prepared to take the position that God's role with Israel was subservient! The image I get from this is one who stands with - not behind, not sits under - stands with someone and helps them.Very good blog, and this article is w...
More About: Place

Tools For Tuesday - Website Goodies
2008-05-20 16:21:00
Website Goodies Has all kinds of cute little http://www.websitegoodies.com/smilies/gfx /winking0021.gifhttp://www.websitegoodies .com/smilies/gfx/winking0005.gifhttp://ww w.websitegoodies.com/smilies/gfx/winking0 060.gifSmilies you can use!
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Don't Step in the Biblical Leadership!
2008-05-19 07:17:00
I read this article by Reb Bradley called tough love. According to Mr. Bradley Tough Love isn't for husbands. Why? It gets in the way of leadership. You are upsurping leadership if you do this with your husband. I would assume it would be okay for men, because they don't have that issue biblically.An answer to this question can be deduced based on the Bible?s principles related to marriage and divorce. For a wife to go against her husband's desires and leave him, would require that she forsake her biblical responsibility to submit to his authority. Such a wife may justify her separation by claiming she is simply following Christ's example -- he set boundaries and "drew lines" of behavior for his followers, and that is what she is doing for her husband. But such a wife misconstrues her calling to be Christ-like -- she is called to be like Jesus in character, not in authority. In fact, the Bible tells her specifically that she is not to be like Christ in the exercise of autho...
More About: Leadership , Step , Biblical