Emotional Abuse and Your FaithEmotional Abuse and Your FaithCollection of Articles, Video, and audio I have found on Emotional and Verbal Abuse. I have been searching for ones that are geared towards the faith based prospective. It is not just towards one but many faiths. Links have been included with article Articles
What helps us follow the leader?
2010-09-19 02:16:00 I was reading today about the Milgram experiment. The experiment basically showing people?s obedience to authority figures even when they realize something is wrong. They were asked to do things that went against their personal conscience, and they wanted to measure the individual?s willingness to obey the authority figure. They were asked to do things for the ?overall good? even at the expense of others. This experiment has been done more than once, and the results did surprise me. On average 65% of participates did finish the experiment even with knowing they were harming another person. If you read anything about these types of experiments the ?harmed? person was an actor. The people doing the ?harm? didn?t know this until they experiment was complete. I think most of us would predict that society, as a whole wouldn?t go as far as these people did. I think most of us if we were not familiar with these experiments would think if ...
Links of Interest!
2010-09-15 14:00:00 Commandments of Men had a discussion on "Love is an Choice". I think we can agree with how some people use that phrase, and others frankly use it as a tool of manipulation and guilt. I don't deny that a part of loving is a choice, but it must be emphasized that it is indeed only a part of the larger equation. Love, itself, isn't really a choice at all. To ACT upon it, or to ACT in a loving manner even when devoid of emotion and feelings of love, is a choice - not love in and of itself. Love, in and of itself, is only a verb in a portion of it's meaning. TO love is a verb. I'm afraid the phrase "love is a choice" ultimately devalues the emotional aspect and power of love, and I don't believe for a second that this is something God wants. It also makes for the fodder of warfare for authoritarian types. My ex, for instance, was coerced into believing that she'd made a "choice" to love me, a choice which she could "correct".A Wife's Submission, Charis wrote a pi... More About: Links , Interest
Are Females Equal in Dignity, or the 'source' of derogatory terms?
2010-09-13 14:00:00 Definition of DEROGATORY1: detracting from the character or standing of something ?often used with to, towards, or of 2: expressive of a low opinion : disparaging <derogatory remarks> Male and female were created by God as equal in dignity, value, essence and human nature, but also distinct in role whereby the male was given the responsibility of loving authority over the female, and the female was to offer willing, glad-hearted and submissive assistance to the man. - CBMW feminization of the Churchfeminization of Leadershipfeminization of malesfeminized male temperamentfeminization of the social orderfeminized male temperamentfeminization of manhoodfeminization of our homes and institutionsfeminization of church leadershipfeminization of deity For some reason today it seems acceptable to use the female, feminization, feminist, etc as a derogatory term, and yet its pretty acceptable to also state that women are: equal in dignity, value, essence and human nature... More About: Source , The Source , Terms , Equal , Females
I love the way you lie - Ugh!
2010-09-09 00:01:00 Its Your Fault TOO! I have been reading opinions about the latest Eminem song, called, "Love The Way You Lie". (Video Link highlighted) Some people say they 'get' the song, and others feel it glamorizes domestic violence. I found a short interview with Rihanna, and the part that bothered me is her almost childlike response, "I wanted to be part of a HIT!" I tried for a number of weeks to figure out WHERE the attraction was for this song, and how it is strange that none of them (Characters in the video) truly try to explain the message behind it. Rihanna got the snot kicked out of her, and I can't believe that she would truly wish to 'glamorize' what happened to her. WELL below is my STAB at a theory! Lets look at the chorus of the song:Just gonna stand there and watch me burn But that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry But that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lieThis is the f...
Divert when you don't want to admit something!
2010-09-06 14:00:00 Divert! Divert! DIVERT! Did you ever notice that people tend to do this when they wish to STAND UP for what they believe in, and not admit that someone on the other side of the stand MAY have a point on something? I mean you do see this in politics, but this type of things shouldn't be done within the fellowship. I want to show a classic example of a rebuke over opinions, but they never address the points. Today I will be using two newspaper stories. I wrote about the Freedom for Christian Women Coalition a few weeks back, and mentioned a letter they had written to CBMW about their stand on biblical roles. One of the topics brought up in a convention in Florida this year as CBMW's Danvers Statement. They had deep concerns over this Danvers statement, and also the effect it could have on both men and women. The Women's Coalition decided it was time for a harder stand this time, and wrote their concerns in hopes that they would be addressed...
Are we inclined the think the worse?
2010-09-01 14:00:00 Tighty Whitey I have to admit at times I truly think I must be odd compared to most. I have to wonder if I just view life different, and it makes me the odd man out at times. Goodness knows I'm not different, nor better than anyone else. When I listen to someone tell me about their life, and they throw in a zigger I tend to place it in context. I try my hardest not to get my tighty whitey's in a bunch! I remember months ago this woman was talking about a very ugly circumstance she was attempting to help another though in life. If she had just stopped at that point people may have the offered empathy and support that she truly needed. Sadly, she needed to get her frustrations out over the roadblocks that others had placed in front of the circumstance. NOW if you put to the side the way she presented it, and just plainly looked at what she was frustrated about? MOST would be able to empathize with the roadblocks as well. For some reason the...
Dogma without mercy is Hollow
2010-08-30 14:00:00 Dogmatic Practices of the Church I was reading an article about how Anne Rice stated on Facebook that she has quit Christianity. There were those that yes got bent out of shape over it, but I wanted to read more about her decision before making up my mind. There are more people than the church will admit that think they can use a 'tune up' so to speak. They oppose the use of dogma with no mercy because it is hollow. The LATimes had an interview with her, and the tag line to this article did strike a cord with me. The novelist says she still believes in God, but she couldn't find a basis in Scripture for some positions taken by churches. (She is referencing the dogma of the church)There are straws that break the camels back with people. I have heard from people that wish to leave over the issue of domestic violence, and how the church just can't seem to deal with it at all logically. What Anne Rice seems to be talking about is the Dogma. People will ... More About: Dogma
Blessed are the Meek, for they shall inherit the earth!
2010-08-25 14:33:00 I read an article recently on Christianity Today, about a man I think most of us have heard of. Do you remember Mister Rogers? I remember when I was young my mother had us watch his show, and told us that he was a Presbyterian minister. The picture was an Album my parents got us one year, and the rectangle shown in the picture was a mirror. You looked in the mirror on the cover, and Mister Rogers was reminding you how special you were once again. I was a little old for the album, but I remember using it when I babysat. Mister Rogers reminds me of the scripture: Blessed are the Meek, for they shall inherit the earth. His message not only to children, but to everyone was 'accept everyone for who they are'. To me it wasn't just lip service for him, and as I was looking on Youtube I saw an interview with on the Rosie O'Donnell show. Rosie is controversial on many realms, but has a big heart for children. When I saw the i... More About: Earth
Eve's desire to RULE over her husband
2010-08-23 15:02:00 Barbara Roberts and her husband James Synot wrote a Critique on CBMW's Statement on Abuse, and you can find it on their website www.notunderbondage.com Read the whole critique on their site - its very good, but I wanted to talk about one of their first points today. One of the first items they mentioned truly caught my attention! I learned from their paper HOW people come up with this thought of women wanting to 'rule over' their husbands, instead of what the bible actually states. One of CBMW's points was: We believe that the biblical teaching on relationships between men and women does not support, but condemns abuse (Prov. 12:18; Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:18; 1 Tim. 3:3; Titus 1:7-8; 1 Pet. 3:7; 5:3).Barbara Roberts and James Synot partial response was: Ephesians 5:25-29 tells husbands to love their wives, a command which clearly implies that it's wrong to abuse their wives. Abuse and love are polar opposites; no-one would argue with that. But citing Colossians 3:...
Wives submit to their husband - If you have a problem with that TALK to GOD
2010-08-18 14:34:00 You have a problem with submission? Talk to GOD! Wife's Submit to your Husbands....women can be scared of that verse, especially you have a man on a power trip telling you if you have problem with it go talk to God or Paul. I wonder if they feel that 'biblical instruction' using sarcasm is good in God's eyes? I have heard many times people commenting on Sarah, and how she called her husband Lord. They like to use that example to show HOW they feel submitting is to be seen. I have to giggle a bit, because if you read the story? Sarah doesn't give me the impression she was whom they feel she was. She could be a bit of a bugger at times, but I'm not saying she didn't love and respect her husband. Its clear she did, but she doesn't seem like an always easy going gal. She must have been a challenge for Abraham at times. The other day a I was reading some statements from a gentleman on A Wife's Submission blog. I see in a ge... More About: Wives , Problem
Feminism: The Flying Purple People Eaters!
2010-08-16 14:14:00 One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater! I was reading an interview with Mary Kassian and Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and how they feel that women wish to change the bible to make it more palatable for them. I have to admit I haven?t seen myself some of the examples they claim is real life in some churches. I?m no spring chicken, and have been to many churches in the past. I have never had an issue with God as the Father, and using the male terms in regards to him. I have wonder if they like to repeat this so often that people actually believe it. It amazes me how they can turn feminism into their pet: One eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater! (Its a children's song - see link) I realize there are some people that have had ugly experiences with men in general, and that doesn?t always have to be women I?m speaking about. They have a hard time not using those experiences with humans, and not transferring that image to God the Father. ... More About: Feminism
Gender Equality denies differences between male and female!
2010-08-13 22:19:00 I just finished Woman this is WAR! By Jocelyn Andersen author of another book called, Woman Submit! It was Chapter 20 called, Smokescreens, Mantras and Slogans that truly resonated with me today. I think that is because we see these parroted statements all the time, and yet there is no foundation to it. In fact if you truly stop to hear the statements, and not just take some ?organization? or ?authors? word for it? You can see and feel the twists and turns they take to make a point out of pretty much lies. Gender Equality denies differences between male and female! From the time we are born it doesn?t take your parents to point it out to you that there are indeed differences. I mean seriously? What a silly statement! There are intrinsic differences between the genders that would be impossible for anyone to change. You can deny it all you want to, but with most people if you do claim this? They are going to wonder about your sanity. CB... More About: Female , Differences , Male
Links of Interest!
2010-08-07 21:28:00 Links of Interest Jocelyn Andersen has finally released her new book, Woman this is War! ?Woman this is WAR!...,? takes a new look at old arguments traditionally used to keep men and women enslaved in illegitimate bondage based on sex, and just as the Bible did not condone the sin of slavery based on skin color, it also does not condone a slavery-like caste system based on gender. Jesus said we would know the truth and the truth would set us FREE. Andersen challenges Christian men and women to embrace and appreciate God-given gender differences without giving place to haughty spirits of superiority, degrading feelings of inferiority, hatred, prejudice, fear of one another?s differences, or the sinful need to either be in charge or to submit in an idolatrous manner. I have to menti... More About: Links
Agenda - its so clear to see!
2010-08-04 04:11:00 Our Agenda Let the name calling begin! I just did a quick web search on the recently released, FREEDOM FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN COALITION demand for an apology over teachings that can lead down the wrong path. As usual when you speak out against how approaches to this could lead to dangerous circumstances? The dysfunctional men that stand behind them (Counsel of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood) start fanning the flames of some feminist uprising, because they refuse to see past the end of their nose. To me you see agenda. Why do say AGENDA? Way of Life it seems got extremely defensive over it, and without knowing WHOM the people are behind the request! Lets look at the their point of view, because it shows the attitude right away. CHRISTIAN FEMINISTS DEMAND APOLOGY FOR ?TEACHING THAT DENIGRATES WOMEN? Does David Cloud know the sources in which he calls 'feminists'? It doesn't seem so, or he wouldn't have placed that out there.&nbs... More About: Domestic abuse , Clear
Fear Tactics within the Church
2010-07-31 01:12:00 I was looking at my grandmother?s collapsible metal cup she had for years as I was growing up the other day. I was putting dishes away, and saw it on the top shelve. I grabbed years ago when I was cleaning out my grandparent?s house, and it reminded me of all the trips we took together. When my brother or I would WHINE in the backseat, ?Mimi! We are thirsty!? she would take it out and pour us some water. Mimi was the type that followed her husband?s leadership, and did her best to respect his authority within the home. I recognize the speeches I hear about the roles within marriages, because she grew up in that type of circle. I will admit they didn?t call them ?roles?, and back then they were more in your face about the roles. I see the same speeches today, but they more ?nice? about the definitions. I have to giggle if those darn feminists made people realize how ugly it truly sounded, and it forced them to change their approach a bit. ... More About: Church , Tactics , Fear , The Church
Feminism and the TV dinner!
2010-07-28 16:02:00 Feminism and the TV dinner I was having a good giggle this morning, and it reminded me of the discussion at hand how organizations use a list of red flags to get across their message. CBMW does love to use this concept of feminism as their huge threat to the family. FOOD and feminism was the article that I read, and it showed to me how they don't use any history behind their beliefs. To me they took the definition of a Yuppie and replaced it with feminist. What has fast food (whether eating out or pre-packaged) done for the feminism movement? If you think back to when these TV dinners started really hitting the supermarket shelves (or fast food icons, etc) ? it would be in the late 50s and on. Which came first ? the feminism movement of the 60s and 70s or the rise of food? Is there a correlation ? yes, but I don?t think its the driving correlation. Now if you read about the history of TV dinners, and YES there is actually articles on this the ... More About: Dinner , Feminism
Freedom for Christian Women Coalition Part Two
2010-07-27 17:23:00 I have to admit it wasn't until I was adult did I ever hear the term, 'headship'. I think we all heard the term 'head' in the bible, but as far as I know? No mention of this title some like to use. The last time I wrote I spoke about Freedom for Christian Women Coalition , and the letter they had sent to Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. I wanted to take a couple of points, and today I will start points 2-4 that were listed in the letter. we are concerned about the sin that evangelical church leaders commit when they deny the love of Christ fully to women simply because they were born female; we are concerned about the damage this causes to families when husbands and fathers are told that they have Headship over their wives and daughters; we are concerned about wife abuse, girlfriend abuse, and abuse to female children that takes place in many homes where evangelical men are taught that they have earthly and spiritual authority over women; I rea... More About: Part
5 articles dealing with domestic violence and the church
2009-12-11 15:40:00 Why is Loving You Hurting Me?, by Frederick D. Haynes III is a very touching article about domestic violence in the church. He speaks very clearly about the silent on this issues, and the suffering of those that we pretend are not there. Well, let me see if I can make this plain by focusing the lens even more. There is no sadder story than the one of Tamar, found in the thirteenth chapter of second Samuel. Tamar is the daughter of King David, and Tamar happens to be extremely beautiful, yet, Tamar soon discovered that the beauty she had going for her ended up being used against her. I think I'll park here, parenthetically, because for some of you, what you have going for you has been sadly used against you. Perhaps it's the way God has blessed you to look; perhaps it's the education you have been blessed to achieve; but whatever the case, it is some gift that God has blessed you with, that sadly, has turned out to be something that haters and others are using against... More About: Church , Articles , Domestic , Domestic abuse , Violence
Invisable Line of Domestic Violence
2009-12-07 17:47:00 We had area where we used to go and visit for long weekends. It was a rural area, and the deer were plentiful. Time had already taken out the natural predators (like wolves, etc) due to the threat to humans, and the deer were over taking the area. They were killing all the vegetation. You see the animals knew the boundaries of the vacation areas, and knew the hunters could not cross that line. What the animals may not have realized is they were killing off their food sources as their numbers grew, and the food sources were not as plentiful anymore. They were facing a new type of death, and that was starvation. Soon people realized they had to do something with this booming population, and they brought in professional sharp shooters to bring the number of deer down to a manageable population. As you can imagine some people were very upset over this. They felt the death of these animals over the vacation homes flowers, trees and vegetation was ju... More About: Domestic , Violence , Suffering
Tools for the Restraining order
2009-12-02 16:33:00 I think most of us have heard of the ankle bracelets that are being used for some couples with restraining orders are in place. Elmo Tech has taken that one step further. Normally, if someone is violating the restraining order they are in the victims presence or near enough to do them harm. "Restraining orders are the most common way in Western administrations of handing domestic violence cases and remote offender monitoring has been used in the Western world for some 20 years now," Mor said. "What is unique about our tool is its comprehensiveness: it tracks the aggressors and alerts the monitoring center, the victim and any other stakeholder of a potential interaction. It can even alert the aggressor, so he can retreat, and enables government administrations to determine whether a restraining order has been violated." Alot of the technology we use today may have a panic button on it, but once the person is pushing the panic button? It tends to be to late... More About: Tools
Grace to be shown towards others....
2009-11-26 16:22:00 My thoughts go back to my namesake that my parents had so much respect for. I was born on her birthday, and was given her name. My Aunt Hannah was not a blood relative, but a childhood presence for my mother. She was friend of my grandmother, and I remember fond memories of her myself. Aunt Hannah it seemed was a person that knew how to show people just the right amount of grace towards others. My mother grew up in a household with domestic violence. Her parents were active in the Southern Baptist church, and were also very community minded people. I remember as an adult after my grandfather passed away, and we had to get their home ready to be sold - cleaning out that house was a HUGE job! My grandfather had Alzheimer?s towards the end, and the state that they lived in at the time was very individualistic. Everyone knew he was a danger to himself and to society?s at large at that point, but no one would remove him. I reme... More About: Divorce , Grace
Is my husband giving me the silent treatment?
2009-11-24 23:29:00 I was on a faith board recently, and I read a note from wife. It was short and sweet with not much information to go on. She was wondering if what she was experiencing was the silent treatment from her spouse. Here is a summary of what was said, but not word for word: Communication is impossible for my Husband to have with me. It's been 12 years, and he has yet to have a conversation with me that is on any kind of adult level. He will not talk most of the time, even to our children. We went to therapy, and he literally could not give an answer to any question. The silence was deafening. Finally, after many visits I was told to lower my expectations, and I would not be disappointed anymore. I don't know how much more hurt I can handle. This is not healthy for my children and me. Does God want me to continue on letting him treat us this way? When I think of the silent treatment it comes to a form of emotional abuse its normally a tool they use to hurt someone.&nb... More About: Treatment , Silent , Giving
Interesting Domestic Violence Links for the Week
2009-11-20 15:20:00 I put together a couple of interesting links about domestic violence within the church, biblical roles of women, found a amazing public service announcement for violence within the home, and also an author's message on steps to healing. I hope you enjoy the lists of link. copyranter has an article about an 'interactive domestic violence' poster that has been placed in a German bus station. I believe they changed the words to English for the advertisement purposes. An eye tracking camera was installed in the board, so that when you looked directly at the domestic violence, after a delay, the scene morphed into spousal harmony. What areas do you believe that Baptist General Convention of Virginia needs to address? I don't know who placed the poll online, but one of the choices is domestic violence. Here is your opportunity to vote, and let someone know that you would like to hear the church address this issue. A Different Drummer wrote an article ... More About: Interesting , Links , Domestic , Domestic abuse , Violence
Annulment catholic church and Domestic Violence
2009-11-17 14:27:00 I came across an article called, 'A new theology of divorce'. Mike Sweitzer-Beckman is the author, and he was speaking about he was one of the statistics when it comes to children of divorce. He isn't one of those that seemed all that harmed by it as he speaks of his parents, and later their new marriages and his new step siblings. He spoke of a number of different circumstances of annulment that people he knew from the Catholic church had gone though personally. I'm not Catholic myself, but I have heard about the process a number of times from people I know. I wanted to point this article out, because it seems one of my most popular articles on this blog from the past was Marriage Annulment Grounds in the Catholic Church . There was a lady in my Domestic Violence group that was seeking an annulment due to the emotional abuse, verbal abuse, among other things that torn the marriage to pieces. I will never forget her husband for one reason! ... More About: Divorce , Catholic Church , Domestic abuse
5 reasons domestic violence isn't addressed in church
2009-11-14 02:22:00 Houston's Praise 92.1 Radio had an article by Noelle Sewell regarding the top 5 reasons the church doesn't address domestic abuse. Should we try to add to the list or do you think the list is fine the way it is? Number one reason is the pastor himself could be the abuser They themselves maybe or have been perpetrators of domestic violence (Yes I went there). There are pastors who are perpetrators and their deacons, elders and ministry leaders know it but they are afraid to call them on it. Often times the church leaders don?t want to appear to be attacking the pastor, cause disruption in the congregation, being shunned by other members, being removed from their ministry position, being asked to leave the church. Now you should make sure that there is abuse before approaching the pastor. Pray about if you have any doubts because once you make the accusation and it not true it will be difficult to restore the person?s reputation. If you witness it you need to address it with the ... More About: Divorce , Church , Domestic , Domestic abuse , Violence
When people don't know what to do? They do nothing!
2009-11-09 14:58:00 I have been reading about the interview with Rihanna that Good Morning America did with Diane Sawyer. I haven't seen the interview, but from what I have taken from clips and quotes? She speaks very well of a dynamic of domestic violence that most people hear about, but you don't truly see represented within the church. Nor do most people even recognize as part of the dynamics of the relationship even within the secular world. Rihanna also dealt deftly with the elephant in the room: why she initially went back to Brown after the beating. "It's pretty natural for that to be the first reaction . . . to go back and start lying to yourself," she told Sawyer. Her love for Brown certainly factored in. "I fell in love with that person . . . so far in love, so unconditional, that I went back." When Sawyer said abused women go back, on average, seven times before they leave, Rihanna corrected her, saying it was typically eight or nine times. Chances are when women go to their p... More About: People
Stop Wounding Me With Your Mouth
2009-11-05 14:20:00 I came across an article in The Herald out of Ohio. Program targets domestic violence Women receive advice, support By Patrick Cooley Herald Staff Writer SHARON ? A dozen women watched as images of women, abused and beaten by their husbands and boyfriends, came across a computer screen at the center of New Life Covenant Church in Sharon on Saturday morning. Many said the images were hard to watch, and a few were brought to tears. ?Looking at those videos, it brought back a lot of memories,? said Laura, a Farrell woman who asked that her last name not be used. ?It was hard to watch, but I think it was something that I needed (to watch).? Laura, who was a victim of an abusive relationship for five years and stays at the ARC House in Farrell, was among those attending ?Stop Wounding Me With Your Mouth ,? a program that dealt with domestic abuse, specifically how verbal abuse can be hurtful and escalate into physical abuse. Each of several speakers urged women to remove the...
Emotional Abuse and Your Faith has a NEW look!
2009-11-05 00:44:00 The last couple of weeks I have been working on this new template for Emotional Abuse and Your Faith . I would like to thank My Blogger Tricks.com for their help, and wonderful skill to help fellow bloggers with their own blogs. I have been posting alot of lists lately, and I was basically starting new references for my home page. I believe I'm pretty much done with that for now. I just have a couple of pages left, and I SHOULD be done!. I would love to hear what you think!
Abuse, Faith, Divorce and the media!
More articles from this author:2009-11-04 23:30:00 I enjoy reading other blogs, and one of those is Adventure in Mercy. Molly has a wonderful writing style, and gets to the heart the matter in very moving ways. Last night I went to her site again, and she mentioned that No Longer Quivering is having a Carnival from Nov. 1-4th. This just happens to be another blog I like to read from time to time as well! The news was pretty exciting! Beginning Sunday evening, Nov. 1st until we collapse sometime before midnight on Thursday the 5th ~ we?re creating a party-like atmosphere which includes fun & games ~ and even some cool prizes! Just as soon as we published the dates for our carnival, I got a call asking me to appear on the Joy Behar Show ~ on Tuesday, Nov. 3. Joy Behar's show is on CNN for those that don't know. If I remember correctly Joy used to be on The View. WELL now I just looked up The View for the website, and I guess she is still on that show as well! Shows you how much television I watch huh? lol! I was ne... More About: Divorce , Media , Abuse , The Media , Faith 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 |
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