Emotional Abuse and Your Faith

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Alec Baldwin Poster Child for Parential Alienation?
2008-08-17 07:10:00
I'm not going to bother linking his video here of him yelling at his daugther! LOL You can get that all over the place now! Here is the interview link from after the fact....LINKI want to place this family dynamic thing to the side for now okay? If you look at this man's history he has more than enough history of his angry issues if you will! Look at interviews with people NOT agreeing with him for ONE! Name calling is his source of intelligence I guess! If you look at any cause that is fighting for the good of mankind they pick someone without such characteristics! If they want to be successful in the long haul that is! SURE getting someone like Alec on the bandwagon for your cause is a feather in your cap at first, but their behavior in the future won't show the shine so brightly later will it? I have respect for those that can handle themselves EVEN if I don't agree with them!BIG news that he was coming to do this 'apology' to his daugther! What we heard one or two sentence...
More About: Alec Baldwin , Poster , Child , Parent , Pare

Changed html to NO follow - to FOLLOW!
2008-07-08 19:34:00
I was reading about the 'nofollow' html that blogger uses, and I decided that it would be a good idea to remove it. I wanted to allow some link juice to go to others that have commented on this blog, and have a good voice and deserve it!I read how to remove the nofollow code from the blog on blogger buster.com, and its very EASY to do!Randa Clay Design has an article about it, and also has made some different color nofollow designs if you would like to announce it to the world!
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You can?t sue a church because you find things they do emotionally disturbi
2008-07-06 00:20:00
States David Pruessner attorney for the Pleasant Glade Assembly of God! I guess now we can't depend on a church to not cause children emotional distress at their location, because now we have the courts legalizing it!According to Justice David Medina, writing for the majority, said that while Schubert?s argument regarding physical injuries might be tried without mentioning religion, her case was mostly about her emotional or psychological injuries from a religious activity that was sanctioned by the church.I guess that is okay now! YIKES! Can we say enable abusers here?The church decided to take a girl and conduct an exorcism by holding her down on the floor for over 3 hours - causing bruising, carpet burns, etc - and it was OKAY because she was more HURT 'emotionally'!The ruling by the court is awful, but the fact the church can't take their lumps over being irresponsible is even worse! The fact the parents were not there, and they also decided she needed a second dose of t...
More About: Church , Find , Things

The Color Purple
2008-07-03 00:01:00
This story is of domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and of course emotional and verbal abuse. I'm sure there are other threads within this story, and I know its a story of domestic violence that people would like to forget.I watched this and you can see the generations of how domestic violence and emotional abuse just continued. I'm sure its to ugly to show in some churches, but it shows the reality of life that isn't so pretty to look at. The husband of the main character was victim himself, and it showed how his son tried to continue the cycle once again.It is a story of faith as well. It may not be the modern day story, but its the reality of alot of people's lifes. THEN and now! To me it also shows the baby steps that everyone makes towards a difference.The color purple is a story that has alot of forms of domestic violence. Every form including the theme here....emotional abuse.At the end it sense of hope. God can change our lifes around, and God will hand us things in h...
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Being NOT submissive to your husband is now an excuse for abuse?
2008-06-29 20:41:00
and their husbands on their part, because they are sinners, now respondto that threat to their authority either by being abusive, which is, of course,one of the ways men can respond when their authority is challenged, or morecommonly by becoming passive, acquiescing and simply not asserting theleadership they ought to as men in their homes and churches.Ware it seems doesn't understand the definition of what abusive is. He is using what people call a 'myth' definition. That is where he is getting himself into trouble. True abusers have a pattern of behavior. Its not being a jerk one day, and lashing out towards their spouse on occasion. Being labeled an abuser means you have a pattern of behavior that is abusive.When you have a person that has a pattern of behavior of being abusive - then his statement is offensive, and really shows ignorance towards what abusive natures truly mean. Why? A true abusive person doesn't need an excuse! They are also going to LOVE what he said, and r...
More About: Abuse , Excuse , Husband

Detaching from an abusive christian spouse
2008-06-26 21:34:00
The intention of emotional abuse is "to destroy the self-esteem and self-confidence of his partner" is mentioned by Because of Him. She also it seems has learned to detach from him in a healthy manner. An abuser will use every means possible to maintain control by making the victim feel worthless and totally dependent on him."She goes on to say. She speaks about a experience that she recently had with her husband. It was a story of what some may call detaching from emotional abuse her husband was dishes out at family gathering. "Fine. I hope you have a way home. Actually, don't bother coming home because all your stuff will be in the street if you ever show up. I'm done with you." then he proceeded to stomp off to the car where he sat the rest of the time we were there. How many can relate to hearing this type of verbal abuse at home? Sadly, I think way to many! Normally you hear others being told to ask themselves if they might have done something to offend their spouse when t...
More About: Christian , Abusive , Spouse

Contest about Blogger Features - To COOL!
2008-06-25 14:33:00
From time to time I wanted to write about items I find in my travels across the internet! I realize this is NOT related to domestic violence, emotional abuse, verbal abuse...or FAITH! I do know alot of my readers have their own blogs, and I wanted to call you attention to one that has been quite helpful to me! She has some good templates, widgets and tutorials just about anyone could use!ENOUGH of that! The contest she is running currently is asking about a item that is currently NOT available on blogger, but you would like it to be! Amanda is one gifted women, and bet she could come up with some!I decided I was going to take the more smarty pants approach, since blogger lately has been annoying the heck out of ME! You know those stinkie bX errors? The ones that always come up after you have placed alot of work into something, and then can't SAVE the work??I want more than the 'report bX error' page! I want widget that make them pay attention to them a bit more! Maybe something l...
More About: Contest , Blogger , Features , Cool

IT IS TIME TO BEGIN SPEAKING: The Church and Domestic Violence
2008-06-25 10:21:00
Kimberly B. George of Faith and Gender wrote a paper about domestic violence. I have to say a major KUDOS to her and her voice and gift for writing this peice!The number of American soldiers killed in Iraq almost equals the number of women who have been killed on American soil by husbands and boyfriends over the same span of time. Since 2003, just over 4000 American soldiers have been killed in the war. Approximately 6000 women have been killed on the homeland (1).Like the soldiers killed in battle, these deaths have left children without parents, fathers without daughters, brothers without sisters. Children witnessing domestic violence are suffering posttraumatic stress disorders. Many of the boys who witness the violence of their fathers will themselves grow up to physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse their partners. I long for Christian communities to pay more attention. YIKES I didn't even realize that! MORE people have been killed by domestic violence than in the war so...
More About: Church , Time , Domestic , Violence , The Church

Domestic Violence Victim is Told to NOT divorce on RADIO!
2008-06-24 10:17:00
Abstract-Ellie wrote about a call regarding a women whom experienced a beating from husband per the advice given on Family Radio . I guess the victim alone needs counseling in cases of domestic violence!Pastor: Ok, let's have the next callerCaller: Hi Pastor, my sister called you about 6 months ago about some of your tracts she was handing out at her church, and how her husband didn't approve?P: OK, and what can I do for you today?C: Well, you said she should hand out the tracts and then let her husband discipline her later.P: OKC: Well, he disciplined her pretty hard. Gave her a couple of breaks and stuff. My question to you is, does she have to to go back to him after what's happened?P: (long pause) Well, uh, one thing I should say is... this abuse.... uh... don't think of it as justification for a divorce, God tells us how no matter what, divorce should never even be thought of as an option, so please please, don't even think about that.. Now, maybe your sister might be able...
More About: Divorce , Domestic , Violence , Domestic Violence

INTRODUCTION: VICTIM OR SURVIVOR? A Deeper Look into the Question
2008-06-23 21:47:00
I'm Standing on the Edge of a Raisin is a very heart wrecking story of a survivor of domestic violence, emotional abuse, verbal abuse ...and much MUCH more!So many times I have heard stories of others telling spouses that are experiencing domestic violence that they MUST get into couple's counseling PRONTO! That's insane! Couple's counseling is the LAST thing you do! I'm not going to say you NEVER do that, but certainly NOT while the abuser is still ABUSING!Lets use some common sense for a minute here okay? YEP here comes my sarcasm! You have one person that controls and is abusive and chances are very vindictive at times! A scary person! Then you have the victim. Lets go back to our childhood and remember the bully and the one they LOVED to beat up on a regular basis! What happened to that bullied child in the principal office if he tattled? If the child did it once - they thought twice if they were faced with it again! Payback is normal for abusers also. Did you ...
More About: Question , Survivor , Introduction , Victim

Newsboys - He Reigns
2008-06-20 15:54:00
Praise singing always lifts spirit I believe! Even in the grips of emotional abuse and verbal abuse we need to remember this!What are some of your favorites? I like this song! God will rescue all victims of domestic violence!

Sticks and Stones...and names will never hurt me!
2008-06-19 10:33:00
Verbal Abuse - Emotional AbuseI wish he would just HIT me so I would feel I could leave!You have to be extra nice to your spouse and be very careful to avoid any disrespectful judgements....you don't want to give your husband any ammunition like angry outburts, disrespectful judgements, and selfish demands as an excuseNo one takes me serious enough because he has never laid on hand on me!It truly kills me when I read things like this, and other statements people have made to shame the hurting person into staying put. Telling them this is their axe to grind for life, and just pray for them and be nicer ..... and wait for God to come down on their heads!Danni at Because It Matters did a awesome series of articles about verbal abuse.Sticks & Stones : Why Verbal Abuse Kills, IBecause we identify people by their external appearance, we are confusing physical injuries with the substance of the abuse. OK, that sounded a little disconnected. Bear with me a minute here.Remember, who you ...
More About: Hurt , Names

Breaking the Silence - Children's stories of domestic violence! PBS
2008-06-18 12:24:00
I finally found it. Its a video I had heard about on PBS, and it speaks about the children of domestic violence. I realize domestic violence is a strong term for alot of people, but if you see this documentary you will realize that signs of verbal abuse, and signs of emotional abuse are always present. Its portion of domestic violence that people don't wish to acknowledge. There have been alot of critics of 'Breaking the Silence - Children's Stories of Domestic Violence '. The parents that lost custody do speak of course, but the children are speaking just as loud. The children that grew up, and were able to see things clearer now. They also see the emotional child abuse, and the verbal child abuse that was used towards them. It talks to the children that were ripped from the parents that cared for them, and how the system at times can work against them. It has children that have finally escaped, and NOT just their parents that wanted custody of them. It shows how backw...
More About: Domestic Violence

Verizon starts program to educate its employees about Domestic Violence
2008-06-17 08:26:00
Domestic Violence and The Work Place had an article on Verizon Wireless. Remember verbal abuse and Emotional Abuse do fall under domestic violence!CAEPV Member of the Month - Verizon Wireless and they stated their thanks below:Congratulations to Verizon Wireless -- CAEPV's "Member of the Month." Verizon Wireless has a long history of working to prevent domestic violence both within the workplace and in the communities where it does business.Verizon Wireless' focus on preventing domestic violence and raising awareness of the issues began in 1995 with the introduction of its HopeLine® phone recycling program. The program began when the company donated voicemail boxes to local shelters and has grown into a multifaceted program that includes a successful phone recycling and re-use effort, financial support for local and national domestic violence organizations, community and corporate awareness programs, and partnerships with law enforcement agencies, professional sports teams, educat...
More About: Employees , Domestic , Program

Aware Helpline: Verbal abuse - These are powerful!
2008-06-16 10:41:00
Aware Helpline: Verbal abuseThe Ads of the World have a couple of these types of ads trying to get the message across how damaging verbal abuse can be.I realize this is NOT faithbased, but I found the ads to be very well done and powerful!Check out the link for further examples of their ads targeting towards emotional abuse and verbal abuse!!
More About: Abuse , Aware

These are some of the common things most abusers say
2008-06-14 20:42:00
I was reading today, and I found a blog called, My Quest My Identity? Empowering Woman.. It speaks of patterns of Emotional Abuse, Verbal Abuse, and Physical Abuse within relationshipsThe blogger has some very good information on the blog about domestic violence.One of the things that I remember in my own journey to recognize the emotional abuse, and I see with so many others the reality that abusive people seem to say the same things. Its like they can some type of script they all use, and that is sign of emotional verbal abuse. Some victims feel they are the only ones that hear this type of thing, and when they hear what others have to say about their abuser's talk...they look at each other and say, "Are you married to the same person?"I'm not going to say they are all the same, because some have slightly different signs of emotional abuse. That was one of the excuses I gave myself when I didn't wish to face what was happening to me. I remember reading Patricia Evan's '...
More About: Common , Things

Fight the Smears
2008-06-12 20:51:00
How many people would LOVE to have a website Dedicated to 'Fight The Smear' campaign against themselves??Dallas Morning News:One thing I like about Barack Obama is that he uses the Internet in a new way, not just to get a message out, but to truly engage people. It's pretty obvious that one of the creators of Facebook is a senior adviser to him. This could be a Facebook candidacy ... maybe even presidency.Latest example: Check out the Fight the Smears portion of his Web site. He won't sit back and let himself be Swit Boated. Not only did the "I'm above that" strategy fail for John Kerry, but responding verbally is not nearly enough in this day and age. You have to put the truth out there and make it easy for people to share it. Obama has done that. I'm impressed. And thanks for Reader Steve H. for sharing this with me.One quibble. The site claims to debunk the lie that Obama does not recite the pledge or cross his heart during it by showing a video of him leading the pledge on...

Do you realize what your words can do?
2008-06-12 10:14:00
Its amazing that these kids can get this, and yet adults don't see the power of words.I think the video speaks for itself!
More About: Words

Church?s Approach to Domestic Violence Raises Eyebrows
2008-06-11 09:34:00
Chicago Public Radio had a article about a church there that is working with violent men.On the second-floor of St. Pius V, a Catholic church in Chicago?s Pilsen neighborhood, 22 men are winding down their weekly meeting. Facilitator Carlos López reminds the men about a verse from the New Testament book Ephesians: ?Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.? And López turns to a stocky young man who?s attending for the first time.LOPEZ: Hay algunas reacciones? Qué dices acerca de esta nueva experiencia?The man says last year he and his wife had a fight in which she provoked him and he blacked out. He quickly fast-forwards to sleepless nights this year when he suspected she was having an affair. But some other men in the circle ask him to rewind to that blackout. The young man eventually admits he was choking his wife. López calls that disclosure a step toward taking responsibility for the abuse.LOPEZ: He was able to break denial. And t...
More About: Church , Domestic , Violence , Domestic Violence , Eyebrows

Family Court Crisis; Our Children at Risk
2008-06-10 18:36:00
This video below is about 43 minutes, and it shows the breakdown of the legal system in the family court. Along with personnel it shows the stories of 2 ladies and 1 gentlemen, and how the system isn't working for the rights of the children. How they want to bring about chance, instead of lining the pockets of lawyers, mediators, therapists and the rest. 2008 Family Law Documentary www.CenterForJudicialExcellence.orgAs part of our ongoing effort to educate and engage the community, the Center for Judicial Excellence recently produced a 42-minute documentary addressing the serious systemic breakdown of our family courts. Family Court Crisis : Our Children At Risk features personal testimony from individuals who have experienced the pitfalls of our family law system and expert evaluations of what has gone wrong. The video was screened on the East Coast as part of the fifth annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference on January 12, 2008. www.BatteredMothersCustodyConference.orgA dvocacyW...
More About: Suffering

Why Have You Forsaken Me?
2008-06-09 18:05:00
Markham's Behavioral Health Linked to a sermon called "Why Have Your Forsaken Me? It deals with domestic violence within the church, and some of the myths and scripture that is used to NOT deal with it! codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.co m/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#ve rsion=7,0,0,0" id="xspf_player" align="middle" height="170" width="400"> type="application/x-shockwave-flash" bgcolor="#e6e6e6" name="xspf_player" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go /getflashplayer" align="middle" height="170" width="400"/>

Our New Look!
2008-06-07 16:33:00
I have been busy working to create a different look for the blog. I had a test page that I was playing around with, and finally decided this week its TIME to go live!I know alot of you have blogs and as well, and I wanted to share a blog that have been very helpful fo me!Blogger Buster is a good site, and they also have a book you can download called, 'The Cheat's Guide to customizing blogger templates'.Thank you Amanda for all your great information!So everyone what do you think? I would love some serious feedback - good and bad!Are their ways to improve it? I figured after almost 6 years I should do something!

Click to Empower
2008-06-06 20:02:00
Has been added to my blog in support of Allstate Foundation to support Victims of Domestic Violence.If you have a blog or website that you would like to add it toClick To Empower, and their other website for more information.

Verbal Abuse of Children Caught on Tape
2008-06-05 20:11:00
To often I find that people do not understand verbal and emotional abuse. They tend to downplay it, and if you would JUST be nicer you could change the person.Diversion off the verbally abusive person and its placed back ON the person that is enduring the abuse.Below are two examples of children being verbally abused, and people are outraged for good reason.I found that if is targeted towards a spouse they are asked, "What did you do to make them so mad?" Its not a matter of doing anything. Its a matter of dealing with an irrational person.Please keep in mind both of these videos can be very triggering to people, so please keep that in mind.I need to warn you before you view this video that it can be very triggering, and will be hard to watch. The child got to the point where he lashed back, and its a good example of the helplessness you feel when on the recieving end of verbal and emotional abuse. They feel they have no other options but to defend themselves.It shows how the v...
More About: Abuse , Children , Caught

What is Emotional Abuse actually?
2008-06-05 14:49:00
I think most people have seen lists of behaviors from a number of different sources about emotional abuse, but what most don't grasp is that this is a pattern of behavior. Emotional abuse has a pattern of behavior!PATTERN is the key element to this concept of emotional abuse, and just because someone is ugly one day doesn't make them abusive.I think people tend to overuse the word 'emotional abuse' myself. ABUSE in general tends to be overused as well. Abuse is a 'PATTERN' of behavior not just being what the world calls a 'jerk' on occasion. Can't name a person on earth that hasn't been guilty of that!Recently, I heard a pastor describe this very well. I will try to place it in a nutshell for you. He mentioned that week he had worked with a number of others at the church on a project he was responsible for. They didn't do something his way, and he got all bent out shape over it. Instead of handling it the way we are asked to he basically had a temper tantrum instead. H...

Children of Uxoricide - When one parent kills the other....what happens to
2008-06-03 17:18:00
I found this video on youtube, and they are speaking of a segment of the population that are pretty much ignored. They are speaking about the children that are left after one parent kills the other. What happens to them, and the silence they are forced to take on about that day/night when they lost both of their parents.I can't imagine the pain and torment these children have to stuff away to make it comfortable for the rest of the world, and yet I have to be reminded that even before the death that silence was there.In this video they are going to speak about what they call, 'uxoricide'. Its a clinical term for when one parent kills the other. The video speaks of what happens to those children after this has taken place.Most of the time when uxoricide happens the child is taken to live with a grandmother, and in this study those grandmothers asked, 'What about the children? How do we raise them? How do we help them?' They did a search, and there was no material at all a...
More About: Children , Parent

Teacher had Class VOTE to remove their fellow childmate OUT!
2008-06-01 03:06:00
Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo had a vote last week with her class to teach a child a lesson about how his behavior effected his classmates. She felt that maybe if he heard this from someone else besides adults he may grasp the situation better, and respect others in a more proper fashion. According to Slate: Alex, who is autistic, was taken to the assistant principal, to whom he promised he would "not kick students, throw crayons, eat crayons, crawl under the table, kick the table of other students ... [or] disrupt the class," according to a police report. (See excerpts below and on the following six pages.) The assistant principal tucked in Alex's shirt, put his "shoes on the right feet and tied them," and sent Alex back to class. During Alex's absence, his teacher, Wendy Portillo, "gathered the students to talk with them" about the youngster's misbehavior. When Alex returned, Portillo, who has been teaching in Port Lucie for 12 years, directed the youngste...
More About: Vote , Teacher , Class

Domestic Violence and the Church
2008-05-30 18:29:00
Exeter CRC had an article called, "Domestic Violence and the Church "It spoke of her own personal journey dealing with this issue, and how the church failed her!Its VERY moving!Annette - one of the responses to this article states:But this has NO bearing on this discussion. Is having women in spiritual leadership over a body of believers biblical? That's what this discussion is about. Not on the horrors of domestic or child abuse, and the bad responses to it.I recognize that it is easy to link the two, but they are different, and seeing that difference is important.I say it DOES!LOL I of course responded!I'm personally confused by Annette's comments.'''But this has NO bearing on this discussion. Is having women in spiritual leadership over a body of believers biblical? That's what this discussion is about. Not on the horrors of domestic or child abuse, and the bad responses to it.'''If you are saying that men only have the spiritual leadership role what is being done about ...
More About: The Church , Domestic Violence

Emotional Abuse in the Local Church
2008-05-29 18:07:00
Family.org had an article about Emotional Abuse that I wanted to share!"In the pews of every church, including yours, are women who are victims of abuse,"1 wrote Brenda Branson and Paula Silva in their book, Pastor's Guide?Dealing with Domestic Violence.Silva is co-founder and vice president of FOCUS Ministries, Inc., one of the few Christian ministries devoted to helping victims of domestic violence and educating pastors on abuse. For Christians and non-Christians alike, the nature of domestic abuse is psychological."Emotional abuse is always a component of physical, sexual, and verbal abuse, but it can also stand alone," she says. "In all cases of abuse, the perpetrator uses intimidation, humiliation, isolation and fear to diminish their victim's sense of self and sanity." Making your church a safer placeNaturally, Christians in emotionally abusive relationships turn to their churches and pastors for help. Some feel loved and accepted unconditionally; others walk away more deepl...
More About: Church , Local , Local Church

Calvary Baptist's Partnership with the Domestic Violence Shelter
2008-05-29 05:57:00
Calvary is initiating the Adopt a Room Program with the Murfreesboro Domestic Violence Shelter You have to wonder how much the world would be effected if all churches would adopt a room!Thank you Calvary Baptist!
More About: Domestic Violence