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Be Assured
2008-05-28 11:07:00
My new blog The Tough Get Going, is about our move back to the farm. This will take a long time to accomplish, but we feel it is necessary. This is the place my husband and I have planned on retiring. But, it is not exactly what I want to do.Our reasons for preparing it now are many but, mostly biblical. There is, however, the fact that my husband works aircraft and aircraft is a risky place to work in recession or any kind of slow down in the economy. We see the price of gas and wonder at how we will be able to continue to eat and even get to work. So, we have decided to become self sufficient, so that when the time comes that there will be no work in town we will be able to continue on the farm.I am, also, being drawn by God to go there and with things the way they are right now in the city, I am ready to go. I do not fully understand what I am about to write now, but it does contribute to us going back to the farm.I continue to have days where I feel evil in the air. I ha...

The Weather is Driving Me to Cut Wood
2008-05-27 20:23:00
I know that I am late to post. I know that I stated I was starting a new blog. I know that I need to get a watch. But, I also know, that I need God.This has been a wild few days. I did start the new blog. It is at The Tough Get Going. It is about a new adventure that myself and my family are setting out on.As for my being late to post today. Well, we here in Kansas have been having really bad weather. REALLY BAD. A lot of tornado's, straight line winds, and huge hail. Last night we were have out 5th night of horrible weather. I did not think that it was as bad as it has been the last few days. But, while sitting on my couch, I heard a loud explosion and crackling sounds. I thought a transformer had blew up.All the power went out. So, I found the lanterns and candles, then went to the back window to see if a transformer was on fire. Could not see a things. My back yard is part of a forest in town and was very dark. My brother came down from the upstairs and said whe...
More About: Weather , Driving , Wood

Wer'e Having Fun Now!!!
2008-05-22 20:53:00
image from tombstone generatorI have been memeed in the strangest way. The question is "who would you take in your covered wagon on the Oregon Trail"?My daughter, A Homesteading Neophyte, gave me this wonderful surprise and an interesting explanation as to why she wanted to have me on her trip. To quote her reasoning: only because she is my mother and if I don't include her I will get a phone call "Why don't you want your mother along?" ~grin~ love ya mom. My mother has many skills that would go along with the trail, one would be catching bees so that we could travel with honey.The bee thing is very interesting. I posted on my daughters blog when her computer was down. I wrote about my own experiences with homesteading. If you would like to read this post on bees click here.As for whom I would like to go with me in a covered wagon on the Oregon Trail:Desert Cat: Because, I believe he has guns to protect me and kill dinner.Only In His Service: He can build things and repair....

The Tough Get Going
2008-05-22 13:05:00
Ecclesiastes 2:14 The wise man?s eyes are in his head, But the fool walks in darkness. Yet I myself perceived That the same event happens to them all.Proverbs 22:3 A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.Psalm 27:5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.Psalm 55:8 I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm."Zephaniah 2:3 Seek the LORD, all you humble of the land, you who do what he commands. Seek righteousness, seek humility; perhaps you will be sheltered on the day of the LORD's anger.Psalm 17:8 Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wingsPsalm 64:2Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked, from that noisy crowd of evildoers.Psalm 143:9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you.Isaiah 16:3 "Give us counsel, render a decision. Make your shadow like n...
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God's Timing
2008-05-21 14:27:00
I carry a journal with me everywhere I go. Well, let's say, I usually carry a journal with me everywhere I go. Sometimes I forget it and end up with a piece of paper.I carry one because, I hear from God so often, that I need to carry one to write down what He is saying.The other night, I forgot the journal. So, I got a piece of paper.I was in a meeting and once in a while God would speak to me about someone in the room. So, I would write.While there one of the things that God spoke to me was spoke out, but the others were kept to myself. I wait for God to create a time for me to speak.The next morning, I got a call from someone that was in that meeting and from whom God had given me a word. The conversation started with just chit chat. I had actually forgotten about the word that God had given me. That's why I write the words down.Then the real reason she called came forth. She said, "Last night, I saw you writing while we were in the meeting." "Yea, I write down what I ...
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Lessons
2008-05-20 13:16:00
Sometimes when God teaches you something the lesson feels almost intolerable.Last night, I was in a meeting with Christian women. Roseann, from my prophetic team, was there. Roseann is a lot like me, as far as giftings are given by God. She sees into the spirit realm, hears the spirit realm and can taste the spirit realm.As we sat there last night, I looked over at her. She suddenly says, "are you in my heard?" I said "No. Are you in mine?" and laughed. But, the truth is, I was. Her mind seemed to be in chaos and I kept hearing the word "toy". So, throughout the meeting we kept looking at each other.When the leader of this meeting decided to close, she asked for prayer request. Roseann said she had one. She said that God was giving her so much information that she was full of anxiety. It was to much.So began a long conversation between the two of us about the spirit realm, in front of women who had little idea what we were talking about.The word "toy", that I kept hearin...
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God's Voice
2008-05-19 14:44:00
Exodus 19:19Then Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him.While I was in the mountains, one night I was woke up by a voice. This voice called my name. I laid there for a minute wandering if God was calling me. but then I realized it was not the voice of God.I have heard the audible voice of God and knew who was speaking. It was completely different from any other voice I have ever heard. There was a serenity to the sound and an authority. The occasions where I have heard the audible voice of God were also, occasions where the word that I was hearing was about the unknown. Words that were personal and prophetic.But, often, I hear people ask "How do I know it is not my voice"? This question and doubt stand in the way of your intimacy and obedience to God. I believe that this question is put into our minds by Satan to disarm us from our God given gift of hearing and knowing the voice of God.First off, it is not your voice that you are hearing. The dictionary defines your voice as,...
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Well, "OK"
2008-05-16 18:38:00
There are times in our lives when we just want to say, "I quit". Well, I came close in the mountains.First, my computer broke. Ouch!!! It is now being fixed.A friend went with me to the mountains. We went there so my oldest son could face some charges he had from his life as a drunk. While there I stayed with another son.Well, the 0ldest son, went to jail. This was no surprise to me, but I still was unhappy. He will serve 22 days and then come back to Kansas to try sobriety. I have faith that this will happen.So, my friend and I stayed with my other son to show her the sites. Well, this was fun, but it began to snow. It snowed a lot. Really, a lot. We could not leave. Stuck, oh yea, we were stuck.She called her husband and told him. His response was to get a bottle of alcohol and drink himself into stupidity. He was suppose to be taking care of her 4 children. He brought his girlfriend, yep that is what I said, my friends, husband, brought his girlfriend, into their...

Break Time
2008-05-12 14:19:00
I am in Colorado taking a break. Visting with a son, having a blast. See ya Wednesday.
More About: Time , Break

We Can Make Things Complicated
2008-05-09 13:48:00
My community group met last night and one could tell there was something wrong.During praise and worship you could feel it in the air. I thought that maybe it was because one member was not there. That thought made me sad, thinking that we relied on one person to get the Spirit of God moving. Then I thought, maybe it is me with my state of mind. I decided that whatever it was I was just going to keep on keeping on.I had a vision, shared it and prayed over the woman that the vision was for. But, the group was rather stand offish and I was the only one who laid hands on her. This confused me a bit, because these people are always ready to lay hands on each other. So, I continued and we watched the DVD that is provided by the church.The DVD was about getting close to God. During and after the lesson, there are questions that show up on the screen that we discuss. One of the questions was, "What motivates you to get close to God?" There were several answers, but towards the ba...
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A Letter to My Readers
2008-05-08 13:36:00
My Dear Readers ,The truth is I feel dried up. I have not got back into the swing of things and feel that I am lacking in my blogging. I am trying to plug back into my church activities, housework, crocheting, blogging, but am having a great deal of trouble doing so. My concentration is gone and I have very little motivation.A dear friend came by and told me that it is the Jewish tradition to mourn for a year and that it took that long with her mother. I, on the other hand, feel that it is time to get on with the task. That is what my pastor has told me and I agree. The problem is my mind and body are not quit ready. I need to give myself permission to take as long as it will to grieve. Tonight I am going to go ahead and have my community group hear at my home. I was suppose to call everyone, that comes, and tell them it would occur. But, I have not called. Two are coming and that is only because they called or I saw them. I do not want to do anything. So, I am trying to ...
More About: Letter

Love
2008-05-07 13:33:00
The word of God says that if I "have not love, I am nothing".1 Corinthians 13:2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.I experienced love, while my mother laid dieing and was overwhelmed by that example of Jesus.We hear that we are suppose to walk in love, but how to do that and how to show that can be elusive to us and foreign to our nature. But, I experienced love in amazing ways and have learned how deep the love of God can go in humans.A friend came to the hospital the day my mother died and sang over her. She sang softly and lovely to her. The songs where peaceful and filled the room with love. No matter where my mother was in that moment of death, she heard.Another friend showed up in the room at midnight to check on me. We walked a bit and talked. Her support and sacrifice was beautiful. She listened to me and prayed for me. I ...
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The Room was Crowded
2008-05-06 02:24:00
I am trying to get back into the swing of things. This is not working very well. Every time I turn around there is something else to do with the death of my mother.Time passes slowly and yet fast. I try to just keep my eyes on God and see where tomorrow goes. But,tomorrow seems to keep leading back to her death. So, as I sit here trying to write a post, I am again lost as to what to write.So, much happened while I sat at the hospital with my mother. So, much supernatural and natural. But, all with the significance that only God can put on the most mundane of events.I have a great deal of trouble in hospitals, because of my ability to see into the spirit realm. The entities are everywhere. While my mother lay dieing, I would see what I thought was her getting up. It was a natural thought, seeing how I had taken care of her for so long. But, when I would look up, it would be an entity of some sort. It would be such a let down.The night before she died, I was talking to some...
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Thank You
2008-05-04 13:16:00
My heart has been overwhelmed by the amount of compassion from all my on-line friends. You have all been wonderful through this trying time. Thank you. For those of you who have privately emailed me, I will respond soon. There has been so much for me to do that I have had very little time to get everything done. Those emails have meant a lot to me and I will get back to you. The love that has been poured out on myself and my family has taken me by surprise. There are no words to express my feelings except "thank you".

Eulogy
2008-05-03 15:37:00
We buried my mother yesterday. Her eulogy is at my brothers blog "Only in His Service." If your interested in reading it, click here.

Passing Over
2008-04-30 12:17:00
I don't know what to write. I really don't. I wait on God to tell me what I should write and I hear nothing. I can only reflect.The last 12 days have been long and a blur. I have seen God move in so many ways that I can only sit in awe of the beauty of His glory. I have had ordained appointments, seen into the spirit realm and cried till my eyes became raw.I waited for the spirit of death and he arrived last night at 10 till 7. My mother is gone. Gone from us, but now with the Father. She cried at that moment of death and I rose up from my sit, bent over her and spoke truth to her. She heard me, my brother kissed her and she left. Oh, how we wept.Throughout the day people had come and gone in her room. So, many prayed and so many songs were sang over her. The song, still resonate in my heart. My friends came and loved on my mother as if she were their own. They are, my friends, beautiful people of God. Giving of themselves in that hour and showing the love of God. ...
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My Will
2008-04-29 05:23:00
Can we interfere with the plans of God? Can we, with the power that the Lord has left us, delay, destroy, or corrupt the plans of the Almighty? This is a question that I have been asking myself and searching God for the answer to.Smith Wigglesworth wrote that his wife had been killed and dayand he prayed her back to life. This was a mistake (not in God's plan) and after a talk with his wife, he let her go to her God. I heard of another man who was ill and the doctors said that there was nothing that they could do for him. His wife, who was an incredible prayer warrior, prayed healing over him and he recovered. But,he became ill again, and again she prayed him to health. This went on and on till finally, the man asked that his wife be kept away from him so he could go to God.These appear to be examples of interference with the plans of God. I have been at the hospital for 12 days now. My mother is in the hospice unit and is just laying in the bed. Nothing more. Just lyin...

Venting
2008-04-26 12:41:00
The weekend is here and I do not usually post. But, I am still sitting in this hospital room and wanting to let out my feelings. So, my blog gets the brunt of my emotional whirl wind.My mother no longer speaks, eats nor drinks. She just is. It is very difficult for me to not be able to fix this. When your child has a cold, broken arm, stubbed toe, you fix it. Never knew how intense this urge was, to fix, was in me. I feel helpless, but praise God, nor hopeless. I slept last night, for the first time in days. But, I would wake up in the hospital bed and listen to hear her breathe. She continues on but, without pain and for that I am so very grateful. Every once in a while, I freak out. It is as if I suddenly explode with emotion. What I'd really like to do is to scream at the top of my lungs for about 5 minutes. That would relieve a lot, but instead I let in out a bit at a time. So, bits of explosion come out of me now and then and I weep.There is no room for us in the...

A Time to Die
2008-04-25 05:47:00
It is 10:47 at night. I am sitting in a hospital beside the bed of my mother. Today I made the decision to take her off all medical help. So, now I wait.We do a lot of waiting in our life time. We wait for the baby to be born, we wait for the bride to walk down the aisle. We wait for the beginning and we wait for the end. We wait in line and we wait for the pain to stop. But, this is the longest wait of my life.I watch her chest rise and fall and think ahead to that last moment when it no longer rises. When my mother is no longer a part of my everyday existence and I no longer hear her voice. That is a time I wish would never come. But, I sit and wait for that moment knowing I can not stop time.I chose to make this wait stop. I told the doctors "no more". And yet, I have my doubts that I did the right thing. Knowing it is the right decision and feeling it is right are two different things. My feelings are drowning in a sea of tears. The wait could take a while. "No o...
More About: Time

The Farm
2008-04-24 13:16:00
The first time I heard the audible voice of God I hear, "No predator will cross your land." I had been working in the psych department of a local hospital, at the time, and thought I needed to go to lock up because I was now hearing voices.Within moments, I realized I was hearing God's voice. So, I then got excited. What could this mean, was my next thought. We were, at the time, living on our 120 acre farm. I was only about a mile from the farm when I heard this message. So, I immediately believed that God meant my farm. But, when I shared this word with a friend she said, "isn't it frustrating that God always speaks in parables." I was a new Christian, so I believed that what she was saying was the absolute truth and decided that what God truly meant was that He would not let people cross me or destroy me.Now, as I think back on that, I realize that God has not once talk to me in parables. He has always spoke to me without mystery. It has always been straight talk with...
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Lesson Learned
2008-04-23 11:10:00
"Surrender all" that's the way the song goes. "I surrender all". Every once in a while, especially when I least expect it, God will reveal to me a weakness, sin or perhaps a control issue in my life. He rarely lets me know these things through a word or dream. It is usually in a round about way that I find fascinating.As many of you know, my mother broke her hip about five weeks ago. She then had to be put into a nursing home and last week developed heart and kidney failure and pneumonia. She continues to be very ill and my brother, Only in His Service, and I are there most of the time. Especially, my brother.She is not eating very well. Hardly at all. So, my brother and I have taken it upon ourselves to be there every meal and try to get her to eat. While there I pray and ask God questions. He has been very slow to answer my questions.I will look at my mother and wonder why she is holding on so long. I have seen, over the years, people give up on life or make a decision...
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The Time is Nigh
2008-04-22 11:17:00
These last five days I have posted prophetic warnings from Gods prophets. These warnings are just a small portion of the warnings that are being given in the land. There is no doubt in my mind that we have entered into the last days and the black horse has been released Revelation 6:5-6 (New Century Version)When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a black horse, and its rider held a pair of scales in his hand. Then I heard something that sounded like a voice coming from the middle of the four living creatures. The voice said, "A quart of wheat for a day's pay, and three quarts of barley for a day's pay, and do not damage the olive oil and wine!"Then the forth seal is opened.When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" I looked, and there before me was a pale horse. Its rider was named death, and Hades[a] was following close behin...
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The Last Prophetic Warning
2008-04-21 12:29:00
This being the last of the prophesies, I wanted to tell you, my dear readers, how these came to my attention. There is a young woman in my church that is having these same kinds of dreams. She has been having them for about a year. The dreams show devastation to the United State. In the dreams she is shown that Wichita, Kansas will be a safe place for people to hide, especially Christians. She has been shown safe houses and stock piles of food. But, the devastation of the United States is terrific and heart rendering.I believe that God is taking His hand off of the United States. That in His anger, He has warned us and we have not taken heed of these warnings. Our tolerance to sin and disrespect to His commandments are our downfall.Proverbs 17:11Disobedient people look only for trouble, so a cruel messenger will be sent against them. Angelic Warning In Dream! March 19, 2008I had a very profound, disturbing dream recently. I feel like God wants me to relea...

Fourth Prophesy
2008-04-20 12:27:00
March 3, 2008By this time the pictures were changing faster and faster. I saw a man standing at home with his 'toys'. He was buying all the grown up toys he wanted, what he saw he wanted, and what he wanted he bought. He felt no guilt in indulging himself, rather he felt he was blessed by God to be able to buy these things, that somehow God wanted him to have these things.By this time was I very nervous, because the pictures were changing fast and I could feel foreboding in the air like the electricity one feels when around a lightening storm.Suddenly I heard a loud sound, monstrous thunder and a roar. The ground was shaking and it was as if the world was coming to an end. The roar was deafening and as I looked up, I saw the heavens part. The clouds were being pulled back and the heavens were parting before my very eyes. Instant terror overtook me as I fell to the ground face down. I knew this was God himself who was doing this. I couldn't look up I felt such terror. All I could...
More About: Prophesy

Third Prophesy
2008-04-19 12:43:00
March 2, 2008My people are you awake and alert? Are you listening for My Voice? Oh My beloved ones, I truly desire for you to be always alert and listening. Do you know how late the hour is? Are you spending time with Me and studying My Word? I ask these questions to shake you up, and to make you think! Are you a tare and the son of the evil one, or are you Mine and a Blessed One? Remember that the tares and all the stumbling blocks, and all who are lawless will be taken out first and burned! (Matthew 13)Too many of My own people are satisfied and complacent with their lives and their relationship with Me. Have I not told you that a complacent Christian is a sterile Christian. I would have you be one who is producing abundant fruit. Oh My children, I beseech you to never be so sterile and complacent that your fruit production simply dries up. You need to be the perfect soil showered with the rain of righteousness and fed by the meat of my Word. Always remember that I AM THE TRUE V...
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Second Prophesy
2008-04-18 14:11:00
Many of you prayed and had concerns when I was dealing with my mothers broken hip and admission to the nursing home. Wanted you to know, that last night she was again put into the hospital with pneumonia and an enlarged heart. If you think of her, would you pray for her.Here is the second prophesy. Feb 21, 2008 PENDING JUDGMENT I said Lord I am going to bed, I had my computer on and I went over to turn it off and the Lord said no, I want to speak to you, I want you to write. So I took my Bible, and I had it open to one of the Old Testament prophets books. I fell back down on my face and wept more. Needless to say I woke up quickly, the Lord God had my attention.The Lord said remember my son, I have given my Angel charge over you, For what I am about to tell you, the time has now come, it is the appointed time. I looked at the clock at that moment it was 12:21 A.M. and the room go...
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Warnings from God's Prophets
2008-04-17 11:35:00
For the next five days, including the weekend, I am going to post prophetic end time words that I have found about the end of days. These words are very strong and I am hoping that you, my dear reader, take heed to them.The first one got my attention because part of it has similar words that the Lord gave me. I have wrote them before, but will repeat them here. I was sitting in a room with several prophets. There was a lot of chatter going on. I heard one woman say, "Well you know, what Satan meant for harm, God will turn to good." I suddenly heard God say, "Stop saying that. You have turned My words into a cliche. In your finite minds you look at something and see ugly and then define it as evil. How dare you. How do you know that what you define as ugly or evil is not My hand at work." This taught me to reassess everything I see and hear. Now, if I see something that I may define as ugly or evil I ask God,"What are you doing here?"So, with that in mind, here is the propheti...
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Vision
2008-04-16 11:35:00
Sunday, during church, I had a vision. Now, usually, when I have a vision in church,I tell pastor. This vision came in plenty of time to tell him before he got to the pulpit, but I got the impression I was not to tell him. So, I wrote it down and continued to worship.Worship was moving and the sermon outstanding. But, in the midst of the sermon, pastor said, "by the way, someone has a word for the church. I'll ask for that word at the end of the sermon." My thought was, there is probably a lot of people with words, mine will wait.So, when he asked, "who has the word?" I sat amongst a couple of hundred people and watched as no one stood or raised their hand. Those are the times when your brain starts moving really fast. Should I get up? Am I the one? Come on people raise your hand. But, no one. So, in my reluctance, I did not stand up, I slid my hand up."Yes, give your word." Came from our pastor. So, there I go. Knowing that, I only do this out of obedience, I reall...
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Dread
2008-04-15 11:52:00
My heart has been heavy with the sense of dread. I have spent time in prayer and I, actually, asked for prayer last night in a group. I rarely ask for prayer in these kinds of situations. In this group last was, also, attended by my prophetic team. The prayers there moved me.Dread, I suppose, could be defined as a sense of doom. That would be a good description of my feelings. All this because, my pastor as given blessing to the prophetic team. His blessing sent a ripple of feelings through me that lingered and sent me to my prayer closet.I have, over the years, started many programs at the church. All with a sense of joy and new beginnings. These programs bloomed and were a joy to start. But, with time, I became the target of rumors, lies and face to face accusations. I learned how to let these things roll off of me and to realize these words were about them not me. But, I grew tired of them and I find myself, now, not wanting to go there again.This is a conversation, i...

Redeemed
2008-04-14 13:38:00
Because of my inner struggle today, I am reposting. My struggle, I hope, will find resolution today and I will share tomorrow. As for today... I pray.I've been thinking:I have been a child,a teen, a criminal, and pacifist, a hippie, a biker,a model,a dope addict, and a drunk.I've been healthy and I've been sick.But, now I am:A lover of all, Walking in purpose, redeemed by His love. Forgiven, lead, strong, true and who I am suppose to finally be.  Set free of the me that was confused, lost and on shaky ground. Redeemed, that is who I am today.