Blogging the New Testament!Blogging the New Testament!Given the fact that so many people, especially in the US, refer to the Bible and Jesus to justify their positions concerning life, society and education I thought it would be a good thing to really read this book in detail and report the oddities. I'
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Matthew, chapter 1
2008-01-28 08:25:00 Next one: The Gospel of Matthew (around 100 A.D.)18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.So Jesus was conceived by Mary getting impregnated by a spirit. Just like a lot of classical Demi-Gods actually. And how old was Mary at the time? Since she hadn't had any kids yet and considering the time, the society and the customs she lived in, she was probably between 12 and 14 years old. So the biblical God impregnated a young teen. I wonder why they don't tell you this in Sunday School ...22 Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 "BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL," which translated means, "GOD ITH US." So if all of this HAD to happen again then History is indeed just God's plan unfolding and we're the robot-pawns in it. Free will is an ill... More About: Chapter 1 , Chapter
Mark (compilation)
2008-01-27 15:55:00 If you're new to this blog then here's a PDF document of all my comments regarding the Gospel of Mark . It's easier to read this way than having to read the blog backwards. More About: Compilation
Mark, chapter 15
2008-01-27 08:48:00 (note: the resurrection accounts differ in all 4 gospels and contradict each other - but I won't go into that now)16 "He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned."So much for unconditional love ...17 "These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."So every believing Christian should be able to cast out demons, speak with new tongues, not get hurt by deadly poison, and heal sick people. My question: Why isn't that the case then? And why do those religious fools that let serpents bite them because they think they won't get hurt need a doctor afterwards? 19 So then, when the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, He was received up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. So he flew into space like Sup... More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 15
2008-01-26 10:12:00 15 Wishing to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas for them, and after having Jesus scourged, he handed Him over to be crucified.So the otherwise cold-hearted and brutal Pilate was a wimp this time, wanting so satisfy the Jews? Sure ... And there are also interesting theories about Barabbas (actually Bar-Abbas, son of the father and in some texts even called Jesus Barabbas) out there.27 They crucified two robbers with Him, one on His right and one on His left. 28 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, "And He was numbered with transgressors."So those two had to die at that exact moment too because a prophecy needed to be fulfilled? (verse 28 is actually missing from the oldest manuscripts of the Luke gospel, it's therefore probably a later addition)32"Let this Christ, the King of Israel, now come down from the cross, so that we may see and believe!" Those who were crucified with Him were also insulting Him.Please do note for future reference that both robbers were mocki... More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 14
2008-01-25 08:25:00 3 While He was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at the table, there came a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard; and she broke the vial and poured it over His head. 4 But some were indignantly remarking to one another, "Why has this perfume been wasted? 5 "For this perfume might have been sold for over three hundred denarii, and the money given to the poor." And they were scolding her. 6 But Jesus said, "Let her alone; why do you bother her? She has done a good deed to Me. 7 "For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you wish you can do good to them; but you do not always have Me. So a woman is pampering Jesus with some very costly perfume and some of the apostles point out that this perfume could have been sold and the money given to the needy. And what's Jesus' answer? "Screw the poor! They'll be always there but I won't. Even the Messiah has a right to enjoy part of his mission!" That's exactly the Jesus we know f... More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 13
2008-01-24 08:31:00 24 "But in those days, after that tribulation, THE SUN WILL BE DARKENED AND THE MOON WILL NOT GIVE ITS LIGHT, 25 AND THE STARS WILL BE FALLING from heaven, and the powers that are in the heavens will be shaken. Hm, seems like astronomy wasn't Jesus' favorite subject in school. How could stars fall from the sky? Stars are distant suns. They cannot just fall from heaven.30 "Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place.Another prophecy of Jesus that didn't hold up. There have been lots of generations since then that have passed away.32 "But of that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.Take that, Trinity! If the Son doesn't know what the Father knows then both can't be the same. Or the Father withholds information from the Son but if the Son is identical to the Father then the Father is withholding information from himself. Eh, yeah, that makes lots of sense. Again. The biblical author... More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 11
2008-01-23 08:28:00 12 On the next day, when they had left Bethany, He became hungry.So even the Godman gets hungry and needs to find some earthly food to eat. Although I assume he could just create it out of thin air if the need would arise?13 Seeing at a distance a fig tree in leaf, He went to see if perhaps He would find anything on it; and when He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.Double d'oh! One: Apparently seeing far away things clearly wasn't one of his superpowers. Two: Didn't he know it was not the season of the figs? And if he did, what did he expect ... ??14 He said to it, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again!"So Jesus curses a fig tree for not having fruit out of season. Now that's makes sense again! Not. And now the tree won't be able to ever have fruit again because Jesus made it barren. The olive farmer will be pleased ... Luckily he only cursed one tree and not the whole orchard.23 "Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ... More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 10
2008-01-22 08:27:00 6 "But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. 7 "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, 8 AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." So what is that supposed to mean? That you have to stay with person that you had first sex with or that you've married (whichever comes first) your whole life? Even if your partner turns out to be a cheater, loser, alcoholic and wife/man-beater? And doesn't this then also mean that God CHOSE ('has joined together') this horrible person for you?8 And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone.So Jesus doesn't consider himself either good nor God? That's quite a surprise but noted. And so much for the Trinity. 23 And Jesus, looking around, said to His disciples, "How hard it will be for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!"So a high income diminishes your chance... More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 9
2008-01-21 08:27:00 1 And Jesus was saying to them, "Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God after it has come with power."Hm, so either we have some 2000-year-old people walking in our midst or Jesus didn't speak so truly after all. But maybe he just had a bad prophecy day ... Or the kingdom of God has come and nobody has noticed it. Which would be weird since Jesus is supposed to come back on clouds or something like that. And that would definitely have shown up on Youtube! 10 They seized upon that statement, discussing with one another what rising from the dead meant.Zombie movies obviously weren't in at the time. Otherwise they would have known what it meant. Or they could just have asked the Egyptians about what happened to Osiris. 20 They brought the boy to Him. When he saw Him, immediately the spirit threw him into a convulsion, and falling to the ground, he began rolling around and foaming at the mouth.So epi... More About: Mark , Chapter , Chapter 9
Mark, chapter 7
2008-01-20 10:46:00 24 Jesus got up and went away from there to the region of Tyre. And when He had entered a house, He wanted no one to know of it; yet He could not escape notice.That's the cross that superstars have to bear (pun intended)! You can rarely go somewhere incognito. But at least the paparazzi didn't have cams at the time.25 But after hearing of Him, a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit immediately came and fell at His feet.So even kids could be possessed by unclean spirits/demons. This would explain a lot and it seems like things haven't really improved from that time ... Although we don't have someone to cast the demons out anymore. But couldn't Jesus do that remotely from Heaven?32 They brought to Him one who was deaf and spoke with difficulty, and they implored Him to lay His hand on him. 33 Jesus took him aside from the crowd, byhimself, and put His fingers into his ears, and after spitting, He touched his tongue with the saliva; 34 and looking up to heaven with a ... More About: Mark , Chapter , Chapter 7
Mark, chapter 6
2008-01-19 08:19:00 4 Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor." 5 He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. 6 And he was amazed at their lack of faith.I wonder why they didn't believe in him. Because they knew that he was only a human and thus he couldn't trick them? And healing somebody doesn't count as miracle?55 They ran throughout that whole region and carried the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. 56 And wherever he went—into villages, towns or countryside—they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.There must have been a lot of sick people lying around there. And this sounds like a lot of work even for a miracle-man. But at least his magical cloak helped him doing the job. More About: Mark , Chapter , Chapter 6
Mark, chapter 5
2008-01-18 08:39:00 12 The demons begged Jesus, "Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them." 13 He gave them permission, and the evil spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.So the demons didn't want Jesus to send them simply forth (why not? do they need hosts to survive?) but asked to be 'transferred' into the swines. Who then get crazy, jump into the sea and drown. That makes sense. But can demons be drowned in the first place? And, oh, the pig farmer will probably thank Jesus many times for killing his herd of 2000 pigs!But I guess Jesus didn't like the pig farmer in the first place since he wasn't a Jew and therefore didn't care about destroying his livestock ...18 As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. 19 Jesus did not let him, but said, "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had me... More About: Mark , Chapter 5 , Chapter
Mark, chapter 4
2008-01-17 08:27:00 10 When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. 11 He told them, "The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12 so that, they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!"Jesus speaks in codes so that the uninitiated cannot understand and thus not be forgiven? Why would he do that? That's not really a behavior you expect from a loving person, is it? But probably it was simply the author trying to get a quote from Isaiah (6:9,10) in again.25 "Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him."This too doesn't really sound like the nice Jesus we always get told about. Why take away even the little that somebody has? Why not help him to get more? More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 3
2008-01-16 15:21:00 20 Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. 21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."Seems like his own family doubted him ... But didn't they see him perform miracles? Or were miracles common place at the time and nothing that would prove divine powers?31 Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you." 33 "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked. 34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."That really sounds like a dysfunctional family. More About: Mark , Chapter
Mark, chapter 1
More articles from this author:2008-01-15 18:42:00 Let's start with Mark , the oldest gospel (around 64 A.D.)1:2 It is written in Isaiah the prophet: "I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way"But this verse can't be found in Isaiah. You have to turn to Malachi 3:1 to find it. Seems somebody messed up the references. 1:16 As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 17 "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 18 At once they left their nets and followed him. 19 When he had gone a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John in a boat, preparing their nets. 20 Without delay he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men and followed him.So Jesus wanders around in Galilee and calls, apparently arbitrarily, people to leave their work and to follow him. And they do so immediately, leaving their nets resp. their father behind. Just like that. Don... More About: Chapter 1 , Chapter 1, 2 |
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