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On Food and Mommy-ness
2008-06-05 06:00:00
I cannot be the only parent in the country who stresses over how to make something for dinner that my boys will eat and which won't get me sent to the Mommy Gulag for its utter lack of nutritional content.  Breakfast and lunch aren't such problems, as I admit to total surrender there--grilled cheese sandwiches, pancakes, and so on--at that point the goal is just to get through the day with my sanity mostly intact.  Dinner, however, is where it all breaks down. And if you're about to write about how your kids love kale and sushi and brussel sprouts tossed in a light truffle sauce . . . or if you're about to let me know that the important thing is not to give in and to make sure they try everything, which is why your prodigy loves curried tofu, well, you can stop right there.  I have no interest in competitive parenting, and, what's more, my poorly combined and technically inaccurate mix of Catholicism and karma serves to comfort me with the notion that this is rea...
More About: Food , Ness

Disorderly Commentary
2008-06-04 06:00:00
There is--or can be, anyway--a fine line between concern/activism and encouraging a notion of greivance and victimhood.  When you're looking for news on the state of boys (and, let's face it--"news" in this context almost always translates to, "bad news," as that's just the nature of the beast in the news-gathering business; good news is no news), you're really sorting through depressing studies, sad anecdotes, grave injustices, and alarming health alerts.  And really, that's our raison d'etre (if you'll . . . ahem . . . pardon my French).  There are some worrisome trends out there concerning boys, and we need to make people aware of that fact and motivate them to help make a change.  But I'll admit that one always needs to keep an eye out for that line between concern and overblown victimhood. I bring this up because one of the most difficult places to watch that line is when I report about eating disorders news.  It's easy to slip into a...
More About: Commentary

Real-Life Message In a Bottle
2008-06-02 06:00:00
If you live along (or visit) the Rock River in Illinois--or perhaps even further down as it flows into the Mississippi, you might want to keep your eyes open for a special message in a bottle.  This past weekend, children's author Max Elliot Anderson released a bottle into the Rock near his home in Rockford, Illinios.  Inside the bottle (a clear plastic one decorated with blue tape) is a special card that, when returned to the author, will net the finder a free set of Anderson's books.  (There's also a stamp and--for the environmentalists out there--directions for recycling the bottle.) Anderson, whose adventure stories especially appeal to the reading tastes of 8-12 year old boys, hopes that the message in the bottle hunt will help turn boys on to the fun of reading.  Certainly, there's a flavor of old-fashioned, American adventuring inherent in the idea of finding a bottle with a special prize--something that's missing from the electronic pastimes tha...
More About: Life , Message , Real , Bottle , Real Life

It's Going Around
2008-05-29 06:00:00
There are a few seemingly innocuous little words and phrases that experience as a parent slowly teaches you to dread.  Among these are, "I'm o.k.," "Nothing," (especially when it follows, "What was that?"), and, "It's going around."  The last one of these has hit our house particularly hard this past week, for which you'll have to forgive me for the erratic blogging.  As for what it is, specifically, that is going around right now?  That would be the Martian Virus from Hell, which our pediatrician laughably referred to as, "a gastro-intestinal virus."  Which sorely understates its power to reduce two grown adults quivering, blanket-covered sofa lumps unable to withstand the toddler's confident assertion that cookies are indeed part of a healthy, well-rounded breakfast. So I must now admit that rather than combing the net for interesting and controversial news regarding boys' issues, I have instead been contemplating the seams in my couch cushions. ...

Bully Prevention Webcast This Afternoon
2008-05-27 06:00:00
I apologize for the last minute-ness of this,  but in my defense, I only found out myself this morning.  Anyway, the National Drop-Out Prevention Center/Network is having a webcast on addresssing bullying in schools today.  The webcast is this afternoon (Tuesday, May 27) from 3:30pm to 4:30pm est, and be accessed by clicking here. (The program is free and doesn't require registration.  There is also a format for asking live questions during the webcast.) The reason that I bring your attention to this is that many people are unaware of the degree that bullying can influence boys' motivation to stay in and excell at school.  In truth, all of our efforts at making classrooms more boy-friendly are for naught if boys are afraid to even go to school.  And it definitely is worth noting that boys tend to be victims of bullies more often than girls. Moreover, it is only now that researchers are beginning to pay more attention to the phenomenon of female bullie...
More About: Bully , Afternoon , Webcast

Don't All Boys Count?
2008-05-22 06:00:00
Sorry folks, you're in for one more day of AAUW-focused ranting.  I know it may seem excessive, but here's the thing: studies like the AAUW report will define this debate for the foreseeable future if we don't do a good job of countering them.  That means that every time we press for help for boys or action on the Boy Crisis, we'll get this "study" thrown in our faces as a reason not to act.  So it's very important that we do what we can to show people that this is not a fair or unbiased report. Probably the most insidious dimension of the dismissal of the Boy Crisis is the way that boys' problems are casually shrugged off as due to socio-economic factors such as race and class.  Now it would be foolish to deny that factors like race and class make a difference in scores, grades, college entrance, and so on.  But the anti-boy forces seem to want to end the argument there.  This is wrong for two reasons: First, as we've shown time and again, the d...
More About: Count , Boys

Looking for Balance
2008-05-21 06:00:00
I don't want to accuse some news outlets of uncritically parroting the AAUW's press releases . . .  but I will anyway.  Well, maybe "parroting" is too harsh a word to use, but it's pretty interesting to check out the news coverage of the anti-boy report released yesterday by the feminist group.  It quickly becomes clear that few of the journalists reporting on the story so far have felt the need to investigate the claims made by the AAUW--or even acknowledge that there is another side to the story. Fortunately, there is one excellent example of fair reporting to be seen so far.  USA Today printed its coverage of the AAUW report as an editorial debate, clearly presenting the two sides of the issue.  (You can check out the position critical of the AAUW claims here.)  Kudos to their editorial board for acknowledging that there is more to the story than just the AAUW spin.  (And I urge you to post or email them to let them know how much you apprecia...
More About: Balance

The Problem With the AAUW Report
2008-05-20 06:00:00
Today, the American Association of University Women has released a report called "Where the Girls Are: The Facts About Gender Equity in Education."  Those who are familiar with the debates surrounding gender equity issues in education will probably recall that it was another AAUW report (this one called "How Schools Shortchange Girls") that launched the new conversation about the Girl Crisis in the early to mid-1990s.  That same report was also strongly criticized by Christina Hoff Sommers' (and others)  for both its methodology and conclusions.  Just trying to give some background here. Anyway, the new report includes an attempt to downplay or debunk the Boy Crisis--mostly by focusing on socio-economic factors and by talking about trends while ignoring the ever-present achievement gaps.  Yes, the same old same old at work again.  Still, because of the source and the potential for controversy, I wouldn't be surprised to see the AAUW report get a ...
More About: Report , Problem

Sex, Sexism, and Tweens
2008-05-15 06:00:00
It's always interesting to me when I find myself agreeing with a person/group/organization that I would ordinarily be at total odds with.  Take, for example, this article about "Sexualizing Tweens for Profit" on a website that is definitely not on the same page as I am, politically speaking.  I mean, right there in the side column is an article criticizing Ironman for being retrograde and (I assume) sexist.  (Because "retrograde" is one of those words that people use to criticize something popular as being sexist without coming off as a big wet blanket.  Also, I should add that Ironman was a lot of fun, and that I didn't notice anything particularly sexist about it.  Of course, I also don't tend to look for those things, nor do I have a chip on my shoulder about gender roles in entertainment.)  Anyway, as I was saying, despite my political differences with the site, I do applaud the interview's mention of why the trend impacts boys as well as girls:...
More About: Sexism

Put Me In Coach
2008-05-14 06:00:00
So, I recently finished Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto.  Yes, I know I'm a few years behind the times on that.  What can I say?  Having small children can make you a bit late to the pop culture party on occasion.  Anyway, it was funny, if you like pop culture criticism and commentary and if you weren't annoyed by those guys in college who refused to have a conversation without referencing an '80s television show, a defunct children's cartoon, a movie quote, or MTV, "back when they played music."  (I know that comes off like I didn't like the book, which is not true at all.  I thought it was a lot of fun, but wouldn't recommend it for some people.  Like my mom, for instance.) Getting to the point, however, as far as Boys and Schools matters go, I was struck by one section where Klosterman talks about his experience as a teenage coach of a Little League baseball team.  Earlier in the book, he makes...
More About: Coach

What's In a Name
2008-05-13 06:00:00
Ok, I've spent some time trying to figure out how to make an important statement out of this, but no matter how I approach it, I have to admit that it's pure fluff.  Still, like many moms, I'm really interested in baby names and trends, so the annual release of the top names of the last year by the Social Security Administration is always a matter of curiosity for me.  Anyway, the top ten (U.S.) names for boys in 2007 are: 1)   Jacob 2)   Michael 3)   Ethan 4)   Joshua 5)   Daniel 6)   Christopher 7)   Anthony 8)   William 9)   Matthew 10) Andrew All fairly solid, handsome names as far as I'm concerned.  What I find really interesting are the trends that are more indicative of cultural sub-currents, though they rarely make an appearance in the top 10.  For example, the trend towards naming boys things that rhyme with "Aidan" (like Jayden, Kaden, Braeden, and on a...

Resource for Boys' Schooling
2008-05-08 06:00:00
As I admittedly spend quite a bit of time in this space lauding single-sex education, it should be no surprise that I get a lot of inquiries about what options are out there for parents seeking all-boys programs.  Unfortunately, the availability of single-sex classes in public schools is still limited--though I would like nothing more that to see this grow.  It is discouraging to talk to a concerned parent who would like his or her son to have the advantage of an education focused on boys' needs and learning styles, only to have to tell them that there isn't much available in their area.  However, there are still options. The most important thing to remember is that if you want to see more opportunities for single-gender classes in your school district, the power to make that change lies in your hands.  Get a group of like-minded parents together and approach the school board and administration.  Boys and Schools can help give you information about how inc...
More About: Resource

IT Slide?
2008-05-06 06:00:00
How about some scary education statistics?  I know that we like to throw these things out every once in a while to demonstrate just how bad things are, while still failing to make any real change.  Anyway, the Chairman of the National Academy of Sciences "Rising Above the Storm" committee informs us that:  Nearly 60 percent of the patents filed with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in the field of information technology now originate in Asia.   The United States ranks 17th among nations in high-school graduation rate and 14th in college graduation rate.   In China, virtually all high school students study calculus; in the United States, 13 percent study calculus.   For every American elementary and secondary school student studying Chinese, there are 10,000 students in China studying English.   The average American youth now spends 66 percent more time watching television than in school. I will confess that one of the things that alwa...
More About: Slide

There's No Crying in Basketball
2008-05-05 06:00:00
So, this video apparently comes from some CBS news report, but I'm not sure exactly when it aired.  Still, I think it's pretty interesting in light of the battlefield that Title IX and athletics in general have become.  Apparently, it has become common at many colleges to have a practice squad made up of guys to help the women's basketball team practice. To be honest, this didn't really surprise me at all.  I never played basketball, but I did play a lot of tennis, where it wasn't at all unusual to practice with someone of the opposite sex.  I (and really most female tennis players of any ability level) wasn't really likely to beat an equally ranked male tennis player in an actual match, but it was good practice to hit with the guys, as they helped you to learn to play with someone with a certain amount of power and quickness--what's more, since men and women don't play each other, you wouldn't be practicing with a potential opponent, so the ...
More About: Basketball , Crying

Strange Proportions
2008-05-01 06:00:00
Way back when I was in college, taking women's studies courses (hey! it was the Nineties, didn't everyone take a women's studies course back then?), I remember learning about the whole "voiceless girl" theory of classroom inequality.  At the time, the Carol Gilligan studies about girls different ways of knowing/thinking/etc. were very big, and one of the things that had received a lot of attention was the "finding" that boys tended to receive a lot more teacher attention in class.  Now, in retrospect, we find that there wasn't a particularly good distinction made in the study between positive and negative attention.  And the whole thing was flawed because it started from the assumption that receiving less attention necessarily correlated to lower self-esteem for girls.  But at the time, the big thing was to point out that boys were getting more classroom attention and that this intimidated girls into not participating in class. Of course, the big problem with...
More About: Strange

Need More Cowbell?
2008-04-30 06:00:00
So, this is admittedly completely off-topic, but I found an excellent time-waster today in the form of Nerve and IFC's list of the 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time.  Alas, not all of the entries have working links, but enough of them work to put a serious dent in your afternoon.  I could try to drag this back on-topic by discussing Christopher Hitchens' work about men and comedy (short version: men are better at comedy than women), but not only do I not want to touch that claim with a ten-meter cattle prod, but I'm not entirely sure that Hitchens himself isn't being a tad controversial purely for the sake of controversy there.  Of course, I did once write an essay for a college scholarship about why there were so few great female lead guitar players.  (Yes, I had forgotten about Heart.  No, I did not forget about Courtney Love or Lita Ford.)  But that only because that kind of pop culture riffing is a lot of fun to do--not because I think the...

Knowing is Half the Battle
2008-04-29 06:00:00
I sometimes feel like it's it's almost too easy to jump on the anti-video game wagon when it comes to pinpointing problems with boys.  They can be a handy punching bag, especially when you consider the fact that they don't punch back.  But I'm limited by my own biases--namely, that I like video games and don't think that they're universally bad.  Just that they require a lot of parental knowledge and awareness. For example, today is the US release of the game Grand Theft Auto IV, the latest in a blockbuster game series, and virtually guaranteed to become one of the biggest selling, most popular games of the year.  It's also the game series that pioneered the ability to pick up prostitutes to help your health in the game, and then shoot said prostitute to get your money back.  So, it's not a kid's game.  With that said, the reason it's so popular is because it's well made, well-scripted, and interesting to play. Heck, it's even interesting to...
More About: Knowing , Battle , Half

Going Bananas for Bad Puns
2008-04-24 06:00:00
This little piece of news has been getting a lot of coverage--I think because it lets headline writers indulge their love for cute pun-related headlines--but I still couldn't resist.  Apparently, there may be a connection between a mother's diet before she conceives and the gender of the baby.  More specifically, a good appetite, with a lot of potassium-rich foods (like bananas, hence the journalistic puns), and not skipping breakfast seems to raise the odds of having a boy.  The theory goes that the extra calories and nutrients may be needed to help boy babies grow, and that the diet somehow (err. . . .how to put this delicately) makes for a more hospitable situation.  (Maybe that was too delicate.) Anyway, the opposite of the higher calorie, high potassium diet can be associated with low blood sugar, which seems to be a problem for male embryos.  It all makes sense (sort of), as it's fairly well established that boy babies tend to be more likely to enco...
More About: Puns

Who's Afraid of Take Your Kids to Work Day?
2008-04-23 06:00:00
So, tomorrow is the official, "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day."  If you're familiar with the history of TODASTWD (no idea if that's the official acronym or not, but I really hope not--though if anything ever needed an acronym, it would be this day), you know that the inclusion of "and Sons" in the day counts as a minor victory for boys.  Or at least a recognition that it's a bit unfair to dismiss the needs of schoolboys altogether. If you remember back when it was first introduced, it was just "Take Our Daughters to Work Day."  The whole concept was started by the Ms. Foundation, and it fell nicely into the whole "You Go, Girl," style feminism that was so big in the '90s.  Obviously, the point was to teach girls about how empowered they were to succeed by taking them to work.  This may be the ultimate in upper middle-class ideas.  I can just imagine everyone getting excited at the meeting where they first introduced the theme, with people t...
More About: Kids

Troubled at Heart
2008-04-22 06:00:00
We talk a lot about the health risks that men face based on behaviors and choices--that is, the fact that men are less likely to see a doctor at the first signs of a health problem, or that certain ilnesseses (like depression) manifest themselves differently in men and boys.  But another side of the issues in male health is the fact that the age-old stereotype of men as the stronger sex is more than a little flawed. I'm not talking here about stronger in the, "how much ya bench?" sense.  It shouldn't be a revolutionary statement to point out that males have greater upper body strength than women and are generally physically stronger.  (I say, "shouldn't be," because of course there are plenty of people that would get all worked up about that statement--as though there's some kind of connection between physical ability and moral worth.)  When I talk about the, "stronger," myth, I'm thinking about general health.  And, from facing higher risks of miscarri...
More About: Heart , Troubled

Physically Demanding
2008-04-17 06:00:00
If you've ever spent the day looking after one or more young boys, then you probably know what it's like to just be happy that they're wrestling with each other rather than the furniture or innocent bystanders.  And you probably are also familiar with the feeling that hits right around 2pm or so, where you would willingly saw off your own leg with a plastic dinner knife if you could just have a moment of peace.  Not that my boys engender that emotion, of course.  They're too busy learning Latin and quietly diagramming sentences to, say, break three different lamps in the course of the day.  Ahem.  Anyway, like I was saying, if you do know the feeling I'm speaking of, then you can probably summon up more than a little sympathy for teachers, whose job it is to find constructive ways to channel the boundless energy of a group of young boys.  Seriously, they deserve combat pay. Anyway, there definitely are teaching strategies to help focus boys' energ...

The Tangled Web
2008-04-16 06:00:00
Given that I'm writing this online and you're (presumably) reading it online, it may seem like an odd forum for a warning about the dangers of the internet.  One would assume that we're all fairly web-savvy here.  However, I tend to feel that the familiarity of the web can make us forget about just what a jungle it can be.  A jungle populated by a mish-mash of lip-syncing videos, blogs about conpsiracy theories, and porn, perhaps, but a jungle nonetheless.  Or at least a very poorly zoned city. Am I an alarmist?  Well, if so, I am in pretty good company.  The state of Virginia, for example, has become the first state to require internet safety lessons for schoolchildren.  The measure appears to have been prompted primarily by concerns over sex offenders soliciting children online--according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 13% of internet users aged 10-17 have received unwanted sexual solicitations (the vast m...
More About: Tangled

You Gotta Jacques the Monkey
2008-04-15 06:00:00
If you've never seen a stegosaurus fight a Disney princess hand mirror, then you've obviously never had your son receive the wrong gender Happy Meal toy.  (And if your money is on the stegosaurus, I should warn you that the mirror is actually pretty vicious--and tenacious to boot.)  It's interesting how politicized the entire notion of kids' toys can be--especially when you consider that there's pretty convincing evidence in the form of centuries of experience pointing to the fact that boys and girls generally have different tastes in toys and different styles of play. Yes, I can hear the shouting now: "But it's all socialization!  We program boys and girls to like gendered toys!  I know a boy that loves dolls and a girl that loves trucks."  First off, I did say, "generally."  We're talking about trends here, not what each individual child may do.  Of course, there are always exceptions.  As far as the socialization argument goes, it'...
More About: Monkey , Jacques , Gotta

Shameless Self-Promotion
2008-04-09 06:00:00
If you don't live in Sydney (and most of us don't), you probably missed my interview on Dads on the Air and have been quietly muttering to yourself about it ever since.  Well, fear not, because you can now catch it on their homepage in mp3 form.  (I'm in the second half of the program.  And no, I'm not on qualuudes.  Alas, I always sound like that.  Then again, who really likes to hear the sound of their own voice?  Aside from Donald Trump, I mean.)  Though it's a somewhat short interview, we do touch on a variety of topics, from the affirmative action for boys article in Time to the possible roots of the boy crisis. And, if you haven't checked out the Dads on the Air website, I do recommend it--especially for people interested in fatherhood issues or curious about men's issues in general.  I always find it fascinating to see how these different social issues are being tackled in different parts of the world..  Those little di...
More About: Promotion

Do Boys Need Affirmative Action?
2008-04-08 06:00:00
The recent issue of Time has an article about de facto affirmative action for boys.  I know that, "affirmative action," is one of those hot-button terms that immediately starts arguments and can cause bad feelings, nausea, dizziness, incontinence, and hair loss, so it's probably important to identify just what, exactly, is being referred to as affirmative action in this case.  To put it simply, boys (as you know) are slipping behind academically, and are making up an ever-dwindling proportion of college undergraduates.  The current national average when it comes to the undergraduate population is about 57-58% female--though it is expected to climb to a 60-40 split in the next several years.  Colleges--which still need to attract students, after all--have taken to admitting boys with lesser academic credentials over girls with stronger academic records in order to keep the student population somewhat balanced (or more diverse, if you find the word, "diverse,...
More About: Action , Boys , Affirmative Action

Boys and Schools on Dads on the Air
2008-04-07 06:00:00
Just wanted to let you all know that I'll be doing a short interview tonight (at about 9:20 EST) with Dads on the Air.  We'll be talking about the boy crisis in general, and recent arguments regarding what has developed as a kind of de facto affirmative action for boys in US colleges.  Be sure to check out the webcast.
More About: Schools , Boys

Straining the Point, in a Good Way
2008-04-04 06:00:00
I'm having a major case of the Fridays today--that's the exact opposite of a case of the Mondays, by the way.  I feel weirdly optimistic and am in a generally good mood.  So I'm definitely not in the right place for dwelling on all that is wrong in the world. So instead, let's think about how we're gaining ground.  Sure, there are a lot of problems out there, but at least we're getting to the point where they're recognized as such.  What's more, people are even beginning to try to address boys' education issues--there's a more open atmosphere when it comes to suggesting single-gender programs or the need for mentorship programs for boys.  If boys' issues were a Lifetime Movie of the Week, we'd be at the point where the heroine goes out for coffee with her friends and starts to realize that maybe it's not okay that she is having an affair/bought a baby/is controlled by her husband's obssessive need for order. Of course, we're just in the beginn...
More About: Good , Point

Gym Anxiety
2008-04-02 06:00:00
I can't say that it was particularly surprising to discover that some boys are afraid of gym class.  I was afraid of gym class myself on occasion, namely when we did square dancing (not very coordinated), gymnastics (again with the non-coordination), rope climbing (no coordination and scrawny arms), and dodgeball (my middle school class had a boy that later went on to be a pitcher on a Division One baseball team).  So I definitely understand the concept of gym anxiety.  I was a little bemused to learn that someone commissioned a study on why some boys experience gym anxiety--I'm not sure whether the grantors were all spectacular athletes in their youth who fit in well at school and have never seen a single movie or television show set in high school--but sure enough, the main sources of the anxiety were concerns about being teased about their physical appearance or athletic prowess. So it's not a particularly new or novel phenomenon--I'm pretty sure that it has be...
More About: Anxiety

Strictly Fair
2008-04-01 06:00:00
In a move meant to put an end to all possibilities of gender bias in schools, the National Organization for Women has proposed a revolutionary series of policy changes that will finally level the playing field for all students.  NOW promises that these new policies will be the final change needed to boost girls, who are currently struggling with having only somewhat higher grades, test scores, graduation rates, and college attendance than boys. Among the more surprising recommendations is the nationwide introduction of single-sex classes that will nurture girls' unique ways of learning, break stereotypes regarding female excellence in mathematics and science, and provide positive role models of feminine achievement.  Said NOW President Kim Gandy, "We've long been aware of the proud tradition of women's schooling in this country--we just want to make those advantages available to all.  Of course, we still remain concerned about the innate inequality of a total singl...
More About: Fair

When Boys Get Too Much Exercise (Really)
2008-03-31 06:00:00
I have never struggled with an eating disorder.  I do struggle with lack of self-control regarding junk food and delicious snacks, but that's neither here nor there.  I have, however, seen quite a few after-school specials, Lifetime movies, and MTV documentaries about people with eating disoders, and if I have learned one thing from the Very Special Episode about Emily's secret (other than the fact that the star of the school football team is turned off by bulimia), it's that one of the difficulties for people in the beginnign stages of anorexia is that they tend to get very positive feedback initially regarding their change of appearance--which only serves to aggravate the problem. Fume all you want about media, the Beauty Myth, impossible standards, Barbie, models, and so on, but you have to acknowledge that in a very visual, media-saturated culture, we have established very specific body types as desirable.  And our obsession with health and the body means that ...
More About: Exercise , Boys