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Al Roker Rushed to Hospital, In Near Heart Attack
2008-06-07 21:15:00 With a copy of Vanity Fair clutched in his left hand and ky jelly coving his whole entire body, Al Roker was rushed to the hospital today, he could be heard screaming, "Bring me a real naked picture Miley Cyrus, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her!" Al, who now only calls himself the weather man, was only suffering from chronic masturbation syndrome, which doctors guessed was due to the Miley Cyrus photos released last week in Vanity Fair. It's been another hard week for America's favorite morning time personality. Al Roker, AkA , the weatherman has been up at all hours just trying to figure out where in the world Matt Laurer is. But when the Miley Cyrus pics came out Al was also forced to move up his masturbation rotation from 12 to 25 sometimes 30 sessions a day. Al this on top of his almost 24 vigil outside Heath Ledgers apartment, have worn Al out."He is just masterbating, like a man on fire, I...
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Kathy Griffin Dry Humps Al Roker
2008-06-06 16:59:00 I know its a cliche by now, but Kathy Griffin's subtle magic speaks to me on a very intimate level. I seriously wish I was that quick and ballsy. I need to be one of her gays. Here she is being interviewed by Al Roker, and suddenly giving him a lap dance. If there was one man on Earth you shouldn't feel you have to sexually gratify, it's Al Roker. But it's a funny image, made funnier by the fact that she's not a great lap dancer. Kathy spoke about her breakup with billionaire computer geek Steve Wozniak and how he's already engaged to someone else. Sad, but it's going to make for a hot season of My Life On The D-List. Kathy is hosting Bravo's 1st Annual A-List Awards, and in one of the photos below, she's flipping off Rachel Zoe. Seriously, for that alone, I would go down on her. Photos: WENN Photos: Getty Images
Al Roker "Speed Racer Is Awesome!"
2008-05-10 01:19:00 Today show co-host and political activist Al Roker has made another bold and contraversial statement today. "Speed Racer Is Awesome! Oh, and before I forget, go see Speed Racer, or by God I will hunt down Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) and Impregnate her." Al, who now only refers himself in the third person as the Weatherman, has added Christina Ricci to his list of women he would like to impregnate. Al, has also gotten in line early for his other most favorite movie, Sisterhood of the traveling pants part 2. Dressed in an Iron man costume that he has made out of tinfoil and orange spray pant, Roker has camped himself out in front of a Regal Cinema in Manhattan. (Blackdog fact #7: Al Roker wants to impregnate the cast of Traveling Pants, and all the models on Deal or No Deal, all within a 24 hour marathon)
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker Lets The Profanity Fly!
2008-05-05 02:21:00 SQUEAKY-clean Al Roker turned hysterically profane as he emceed the Mystery Writers of America’s Edgar Awards the other night. The group’s new president, best-selling author Harlan Coben, said that mystery scribes are “one big happy family” and quoted mentor Lawrence Block’s credo, “Nobody has to fail so that I can succeed.” Then Roker took the ...
Al Roker Rushed to Hospital, In Near Heart Attack
2008-04-29 11:07:00 With a copy of this weeks Vanity Fair clutched in his left hand and ky jelly coving his whole entire body, Al Roker was rushed to the hospital today, he could be heard screaming, "Bring me a real naked picture Miley Cyrus, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her!" Al, who now only calls himself the weather man, was only suffering from chronic masturbation syndrome, which doctors guessed was due to the Miley Cyrus photos released this week in Vanity Fair. It's been another hard week for America's favorite morning time personality. Al Roker, AkA , the weatherman has been up at all hours just trying to figure out where in the world Matt Laurer is. But when the Miley Cyrus pics came out Al was also forced to move up his masturbation rotation from 12 to 25 sometimes 30 sessions a day. Al this on top of his almost 24 vigal outside Heath Ledgers apartment, have worn Al out."He is just masterbating, like a man on fi...
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker Attacks Fox Producers
2008-04-26 07:59:00 Al Roker Attacks Fox Producers."Write me in as a love interest in your show Ally McBeal, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Roker screamed this morning on the The Today Show. "That white bitch needs to start eating some meat," Roker said his new Today Show segment called, "Shows that need my Black meat." Roker who now only calls himself the Weatherman, seems unaware that Ally McBeal has been canceled for over 2 years. This did not stop him from making his demands. Fox executives, are in negotiation with Calista Flockhart, to star in a new Ally miniseries. But Roker insists on writing the script himself, and promises his fans many real sex scenes between him and Ally McBeal. "Im gonna make that skeleton bitch hurt"
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Laura Bora
2008-04-23 19:15:00 Laura Bush's appearance as a guest host on the "Today" show was about as exciting as watching ice melt. Keep your day job. Adam Buckman NYP Keep your day job. Tom Shales Wash Post David Hinckley NYDN Miz Laura has no intentions of following in Hillary's power-hungry footsteps. NYP Page Six But we already knew that..."Today" producers: Did she really need the "Mrs. Bush" ID?
By: Chickaboomer
Al Roker Gets In Fight With Mathew Fox On The Today Show
2008-04-14 06:02:00 "Tell me the location of Lost island, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Al Roker yelled to Mathew Fox on an interview during the Today Show. Al Roker has long stated his ambition to find lost island and live there forever. "all the answers are there, they just need a leader who will make sex slaves out of the women." Roker has said before. Al, who now only calls himself the Weatherman, then asked Fox if he would help him do a home invasion. "I want to force a father to have sex with his daughter, and a mother to have sex with her son," Al told Fox. Producers of the today show are happy to point out that Al is more popular than ever, and part of his appeal to the public is straight talk to the american people.
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Conan the Contrarian
2008-04-10 00:34:00 Conan O'Brien does a great riff on casting for (I hope) a fictional movie about the "Today" show's newest hire - Kathie Lee Gifford. It's like separated at birth. Diane Sawyer and Courtney Love. Matt Lauer and Sinead O'Connor. But wait, there's more! I'm not a big fan of Conan but this is hilarious. Well done, Conan, writers, producers, and editors.
By: Chickaboomer
Rookie Monsters
2008-04-03 15:23:00 NBC's trying to kill off employees in the 30 Rock cafeteria rather than fire them. TV Newser Advice: get yourself a food tester.Brian Williams plies his legendary comedic talents on "Sesame Street." Brian Williams Daily Nightly blog.Boston Globe: The era of celebrity local anchors is over. Why? Local Tee Vee is no longer the golden goose. Baltimore Sun Obscenely high-paid anchors are getting the boot for lower paid no names. Phil Rosenthal Chicago Tribune Viewers are pissed at CBS's wholesale canning of popular anchors. Robert Feder Chicago Sun-Times It's a sign of the new media times when the Sam Zell-owned LA Times (Tribune Co.) hires a video expert to teach ink-stained scribes to hoist a camera. RosenblumTV My friend Lee Abrams just moved back to his Chicago hometown as "chief innovator" of Zell's Tribune radio and TV operations. Lee had the same gig at XM. Arianna Huffington's $200 mil leftist Huff Post is getting competition but Tina Brown INSISTS her apolitical offering w...
By: Chickaboomer
Al Roker Goes Nuts After Seeing Preview For Sisterhood of The Traveling Pan
2008-03-28 11:11:00 Al Roker Goes Nuts After Seeing Preview For Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants 2! "Release Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants part 2 immediately, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her." Al Roker demanded in his new today show segment, "Teens I would like to impregnate". Al Roker who now only calls himself "The Weatherman", was visibly angry about the fact that the sequel to one of his favorite movies will not come out till later in the summer. "This is worse then the part in Spider man 3, when Mary Jane and Peter Parker broke up, and then she was gonna try to date another guy. I almost had to leave the theater at that part!" Roker then pulled out a picture of Hannah Montana and ripped it up. "That was for you Alexis" Roker said before NBC was forced to go to commercial.
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker Gets In Fight With Mathew Fox On The Today Show
2008-02-18 14:23:00 "Tell me the location of Lost island, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Al Roker yelled to Mathew Fox on an interview during the Today Show. Al Roker has long stated his ambition to find lost island and live there forever. "all the answers are there, they just need a leader who will make sex slaves out of the women." Roker has said before. Al, who now only calls himself the Weatherman, then asked Fox if he would help him do a home invasion. "I want to force a father to have sex with his daughter, and a mother to have sex with her son," Al told Fox. Producers of the today show are happy to point out that Al is more popular than ever, and part of his appeal to the public is straight talk to the american people.
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker Gets In Fight With Mathew Fox On The Today Show
2008-02-18 14:23:00 "Tell me the location of Lost island, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Al Roker yelled to Mathew Fox on an interview during the Today Show. Al Roker has long stated his ambition to find lost island and live there forever. "all the answers are there, they just need a leader who will make sex slaves out of the women." Roker has said before. Al, who now only calls himself the Weatherman, then asked Fox if he would help him do a home invasion. "I want to force a father to have sex with his daughter, and a mother to have sex with her son," Al told Fox. Producers of the today show are happy to point out that Al is more popular than ever, and part of his appeal to the public is straight talk to the american people.
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker Gets In Fight With Mathew Fox On The Today Show
2008-02-07 00:28:00 "Tell me the location of Lost island, or by god I will hunt down Hannah Montana and impregnate her," Al Roker yelled to Mathew Fox on an interview during the Today Show. Al Roker has long stated his ambition to find lost island and live there forever. "all the answers are there, they just need a leader who will make sex slaves out of the women." Roker has said before. Al, who now only calls himself the Weatherman, then asked Fox if he would help him do a home invasion. "I want to force a father to have sex with his daughter, and a mother to have sex with her son," Al told Fox. Producers of the today show are happy to point out that Al is more popular than ever, and part of his appeal to the public is straight talk to the american people.
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker: Sole Man
2008-02-06 11:03:00 The Today show weatherman's shoe fetish fantasy a reality as Roker's glass slipper only fits an ex-con in the Kingdom Of NYC. NYP Page Six Roker's TV production company is footing the bill for a reality show about women's shoes. Steve Madden was sentenced to 41 months in Club Fed for money laundering and securities fraud. Slate Madden's defense that he was naive and "tricked" didn't sell in court. NY mag pre-trial spin. He was sprung in 2005 after cooling his heels for nearly three years and has since rebuilt his company. Madden wrote this in third person on his blog after he got out of prison: As humbling as the experience may have been - Madden's prison job was to operate and repair the sprinkler system, and he slept in a cubicle with another inmate - Madden says it also gave him "a lot of time to think" about what had led him, back in '94 and '95, to get involved with two brokerage firms in manipulating IPO prices. "Fear of losing my talent, letting my family down and gr...
By: Chickaboomer
Al Roker Goes On Another Tirade Against Hannah Montana
2008-02-02 02:37:00 "You can't hide from me anymore, you sneaky little bitch, I don't know how you do it, but I know you are two people!" Al Roker said when he first learned that Hannah Montana, and Miley Cyrus are the same person. In his new Today Show segment called, "teens I want to impregnate," Al Roker again has gone on a tirade against his number one enemy Hannah Montana. The feud began weeks ago when Al, who had spent all his money on hookers and wild cherry Pepsi, could not afford Hannah Montana tickets. He then famously said, "Lower your ticket prices bitch, or by god I will hunt you down and impregnate you." Parents everywhere appalled Al's brave words, but recently his rants about the teen sensation have taken on a darker tone. Roker also talked about his new plan to find the island on "Lost" and convince the other males to make the females their sex slaves. Reps from the today show say that Al is jus...
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker Speaks out against Hannah Montana
2008-01-02 21:25:00 “Lower your ticket prices or by god I will hunt you down and impregnate your white ass.” an angry Al Roker shouted on his new The Today Show segment "Teens I would like to impregnate". Roker voices the frustration of many parents who seem willing to do anything to get Hannah Montana tickets.“For 2,000 dollars we should be able to sget nasty with that little bitch” Roker continued in a new today show segment called “Al Roker threatens teen celebrities with pregnancy.” “Somebody has to bring morality back to America, and I think these girls could use a little tough love.” Roker finished in what looked like a minor heart attack. Al roker is currently the prime suspect in the murders of at least a dozen New York City hookers. Blackdogpress and Drudge report our currently the only news outlets covering the Roker hooker scandal, that the major media is trying to cover up
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker hooker cover-up
2007-12-29 19:53:00 Al Roker is famous for his appetite, but food is no longer on the menu. NBC has been trying to hide this secret for years, but the dead hookers burried underneath Rocker feller Center have begun to cause an unsanitary environment in the building, and the stench of hooker blood is strong on the fat weatherman's breath.“Look into Al Rokers eyes and try to tell me that that man is not killing a hooker every night and drinking her blood?” said an unnamed source in the NYPD. The only problem is the evidence is not strong enough for a conviction, and who in America would believe that Big lovable Al has a killer passion?
By: BLACK DOG PRESS
Al Roker wants Don Imus to resign
2007-04-10 20:42:00 “The Today Show’s” Al Roker posted on his blog this morning that he thinks that Don Imus should resign. Here is an excerpt from his blog: “Don and his wife have done a lot of good things?raising money for charity, including a ranch for children suffering from cancer and blood disorders. Yet, Don Imus needs to ... |
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