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Thanks, Easta Gangsta
2008-03-24 10:18:00 Ahh, Easter. The day that Christians celebrate the resurrection of their Lord, Jesus Christ. In my neighborhood, it’s the day that folks get their crunk on, then drive around and randomly fire guns into the air and at each other. Occassionally, the po-po drive through at 110 mph to join in the fun, but mostly it’s ...
My Commute
2008-02-26 14:05:00 Ya’ll, this one has to be quick, ’cause I gotta start billing clients an ungodly amount of money for my time. And the sooner I start billing clients an ungodly amount of money for my time, the sooner I can go home, sit on my ass and eats me some fish sticks (they’re phallic and ...
Would You Be My Neighbor and the Temple of Doom
2008-02-22 19:38:00 Oh, yes, Fart Blossoms. We has be done hit the motherload today. Bunches of my neighbors gots bursted last night, and I cain’t wait to introduce ya’ll. Pictured above is Paulina O.G. Williams, who was arrested for “reckless conduct.” No shit, she was reckless, she’s the O-G! That’s her given-fucking-name! Her mama named her Paulina Original ...
A New Low for Maxine
2008-02-22 14:24:00 My Fart Blossoms, I tell you this with a heavy heart. I have hit a new low in life. But before I tell you about the new low, let me tell you about how things once were. I, Fart Blossoms, was once a member of the Glitterati - I was young, thin(ish) and fabulous. I was ...
Momma Said Knock You Out?
2008-02-17 11:04:00 Hey, Fart Blossoms, this one’s for the scrapbooks. We had us a real live, LA-style po-lice chase up in the hood Friday afternoon, and ya’ll, it was a doozy. This fucker was going the wrong way on the interstate, blew a tire and then… …well, ya’ll just watch for yourselves… Did you see that shit???? MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! ...
Why I Love Saint Gradon
2008-02-08 14:51:00 There are a gazillion reasons why I love my surly old husband of 10 years, but I was thinking about him this morning and wanted to tell all six of the Fart Blossoms a true story about Saint Gradon to give just a tiny example of why this man is so very special to me. Shortly ...
Best Names in the A-T-L
2008-01-30 02:16:00 First, you always know in the South that you’re gonna hear somethin’ good when somebody says, “Ya’ll ain’t gonna believe this shit.” Well, honey, ya’ll ain’t gonna believe this shit.” The “Atlanta Journal-Constitution” has done a study of all of the baby names in Georgia over the past 18 years and it is my appointed duty, as ... |
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