Jimmy Carter Racism Idiocy (Video)
2009-09-16 15:47:00 Former President Jimmy Carter accused South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson, who interrupted President Barack Obama during his health care speech to Congress last week (watch video here), of basically being a racist for is outburst against Obama. “I think it’s based on racism,” Carter said at a town hall held at his presidential center in Atlanta. ...
The Dark Lord
2009-09-08 03:14:00 My friend Merrily was out of town this weekend so we invited her husband Gepetto out with us.I guess we didn't look after him very well...
By: Oh, The Joys
Food Chain
2009-08-22 16:55:00 At dinner the other night, The Rooster discussed her day at pre-school.She led us through a list of proposed names for class pet hermit crab and we weighed the merits of each proposal."Joseph suggested Hermie," she told us.[Oh, the original!]The Mayor rolled his eyes and wryly contributed his own idea. "Why don't you just call the hermit crab Bait?"[!!!!]It's usually his sister's role to be the macabre one.
By: Oh, The Joys
Sarah Palin's Dino Idiocy
2009-08-19 03:20:00 I don't like Sarah Palin one bit. Remember when she ran for Vice President? If she did become Vice President, then knowledge and intellect on dinosaurs is doomed to fail if she has her own way. Look at what Sarah Palin stupidly said about dinosaurs a few years ago, "God made dinosaurs 4,000 years ago as ultimately flawed creatures, lizards of Satan really, so when they died and became petroleum products we, made in his perfect image, could use them in our pickup trucks, snow machines and fishing boats." She's nuts! Proof that she knows completely nothing of dinosaurs! How are dinosaurs "lizards of Satan" when they are completely everything but that? Didn't God created all things, including dinosaurs, to be "very good?" If so, then how are dinosaurs "ultimately flawed creatures?" Where did she ever get such bogus, untruthful, idiotic claims from other than her head? It's unbelievable to know that she advocates creationism and all the stupid lies therein. If she and McCain really ...
I Forgot to Tell You Something Last Easter...
2009-07-22 01:40:00 As I mentioned, we went to church for the first time in over a year last Sunday.The children pointed at the stained glass windows in recognition and elatedly remarked,"Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus!"[They know all about Joseph, Mary and Baby Jesus because we routinely pass a ceramic, household Garden Mary forever praying over the sad state of the zoysia and, at Christmas time, there is a giant, plastic, light-up creche two doors down.]The Mayor, my most earnest child, concentrated fervently throughout the mass, trying with all his soul to understand the meaning of the service.As usual, he asked a lot of questions.[Which would be less of an issue if he didn't speak in ALL CAPS.]"WHO'S THE GUY IN THE ROBE?" he yelled.[That would be the Priest.]"WHAT ARE THOSE KIDS DOING UP THERE ON STAGE?"[Alter girls...]"WHAT IS THE PRIEST HOLDING UP AND BREAKING?"[Bread. The body of Christ.]"WHAT? HIS BODY? WELL... I'M HUNGRY."During a particularly quiet moment, when the parish was deep in silent p...
By: Oh, The Joys
The Breathtaking
2009-07-09 02:38:00 I'm always elated when I pull off the final, little, state highway and follow the unmarked country lanes that weave their way through the Virginia farmland to my Granny's house.I fill my lungs in anticipation thinking that I'm almost there.It was no different as I drove in for the Fourth of July holiday last weekend.I passed flowering rows of tobacco, faded red barns and endless, crooked fence posts.Shafts of sunlight filtered down through the hardwood trees making the pavement sparkle.Out of nowhere, a brilliantly colored hummingbird appeared.The hummingbird was the most extraordinary shades of royal blue and aqua marine, really quite breathtaking.I admired his beauty and watched the beautiful arc of his flight and then, understanding his fate, suddenly sucked in my breath.BLAP!I looked in my rear view mirror and there, in the middle of the road, was a royal blue and aqua pancake.Welcome to the countryside!
By: Oh, The Joys
Cheers
2009-06-01 04:26:00 My fellow Georgians,Recently, an official in Georgia's water infrastructure department let a certain cat, as it were, out of the bag. Apparently, the "maverick" state of California is set to put in place a water conservation program known officially as something along the lines of "potable reuse." Needless to say, only a bureaucrat could come up with such a euphemism. Promoters of the concept have, however, taken a tip from Hollywood advertisers to come up with the vivid and unforgettable slogan, "Ass to Glass." Now it transpires that, with their typical cultural arrogance, Californians are getting ready to export their program--including their so-called "vivid" slogan--to every other state.I'm sure you share my feeling that while we in the sovereign state of Georgia may see the value of a waste water reuse program in the face of drought, we will NEVER accept the cultural hegemony of another state no matter how big it is! Accordingly, we at GLOP--Georgian League for Organizing Poo...
By: Oh, The Joys
Gasoline idiocy from the left
2008-08-03 03:23:00 Michael D is miffed at Obama for suggesting that the solution for oil supply problems is to find more. Apparently to him, that’s not painful enough for us. Look, I know that there are people who are suffering because of high gas prices. I’m one of them, although I know that, like many of you, I can probably afford the prices more than a lot of people. My problem with this is that I think democrats should be solidly be on the side of finding alternative energy. Rising gas prices have made a difference. I’ve noticed a lot more people riding MARTA in Atlanta – a LOT more. I’d be willing to bet many of these people were like me, before I made a commitment to figuring out the system and how to make it work. Pain works. But toward what, I wonder? Personally, I don’t want to see gas prices come down because we’re drilling and finding more. The United States is finally getting a taste of what it’s been like in Europe and the rest of the world forever. When I first moved ...
By: BitsBlog
Pure Idiocy
2008-07-11 01:35:00 Trading your wife of ten years and your kids for internet porn and an eighteen year old. Especially when your wife is twenty years younger, a model, and also a millionaire.Sorry, but my internet connection is intermittent right now so this is the best I can do in the time allotted.
By: Dyre Portents
More Government School Idiocy
2008-06-08 20:39:00 This time in Maryland… http://www.examiner.com/a-14295-70~Council__Mongtomery_schools_-cave_to_pressue_with_Islam_book-.html
By: Investing Notes
Senate To Debate F?ing The Economy With Global Warming Idiocy
2008-06-02 20:57:00 Yes, it is this week Congress is coming back in session and is worried about the climate ? and for once it isn?t strictly the political kind that has captured the attention of lawmakers. Fresh from a one-week break, the Senate today begins consideration of bipartisan legislation meant to limit carbon emissions. But virtually no one expects ...
By: Pirate's Cove
The Pseudo-Dragons of Genesis Park Part 2
2008-06-01 05:50:00 In next page in our tour of “Genesis Park” is Bone Collectors where Woetzel gives a very brief history of the discovery of dinosaurs. In this article he erroneously claims, “In their hurry to name what appeared to be a large new dinosaur, Marsh’s team placed the wrong head on a specimen and gave it ...
More idiocy from the Left
2008-05-28 22:15:00 The looney Left in the House and Senate are gifts that just keep on giving. Theyarestill tryingto go afterDarth Rovefor the firing of judges. This is total nonsense, in all of the administrations from the beginning of this country, judges...
By: Stix Blog
Payday loans ? Idiocy From South Carolina ? Who Voted For These Guys?
2008-05-23 18:36:00 I don’t get mad about global warming, I don’t mad about Iraq, I don’t get mad about the economy, but I do get mad at the people behind these problems. And lets face it, there are always people at the root of whatever problem you wish to talk about. Some people face their challengers and are ...
The Pseudo-Dragons of Genesis Park
2008-05-22 05:41:00 Over the years of surfing the internet, I would come across sites I wish they don’t exist at all. Genesis Park is one of them. This site, which tagline reads, “Dinosaurs: living evidence of a powerful Creator” is created by Dave Woetzel, a crank who advocates alleged “live” pterosaur sightings and is one of Prisoner #06452-017’s cronies who advocates the lying claim about dinosaurs living with humans while being engrossed in ignorance of the exact opposite which reveals the scenario, including the live pterosaur sightings, to be entirely fictional. Much of the claims presented on this site I’ve already debunked, but there are others on Woetzel’s site that has to be dealt with including how the creationist webmasters like Woetzel distort ancient art under a false pretense that if an animal in the art looks like a dinosaur, then it must be a dinosaur people saw, doesn’t matter if the animal resembles a modern animal with dog ears, ...
The Pseudo-Dragons of Genesis Park
2008-05-22 05:41:00 Over the years of surfing the internet, I would come across sites I wish they don’t exist at all. Genesis Park is one of them. This site, which tagline reads, “Dinosaurs: living evidence of a powerful Creator” is created by Dave Woetzel, a crank who advocates alleged “live” pterosaur sightings and is one of Prisoner #06452-017’s cronies who advocates the lying claim about dinosaurs living with humans while being engrossed in ignorance of the exact opposite which reveals the scenario, including the live pterosaur sightings, to be entirely fictional. Much of the claims presented on this site I’ve already debunked, but there are others on Woetzel’s site that has to be dealt with including how the creationist webmasters like Woetzel distort ancient art under a false pretense that if an animal in the art looks like a dinosaur, then it must be a dinosaur people must have saw alive, doesn’t matter if the animal resembles a modern animal...
A Quick Note On The Latest Dubya Idiocy
2008-05-15 17:05:00 A recent utterance from President Clueless (from here)?"Some seem to believe we should negotiate with terrorists and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have been wrong all along," the President said to the country's legislative body, "We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: 'Lord, if only I could have talked to Hitler, all of this might have been avoided.' We have an obligation to call this what it is ?- the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history."The response from Obama (as always, more like this)?"It is sad that President Bush would use a speech to the Knesset on the 6Oth anniversary of Israel's independence to launch a false political attack. It is time to turn the page on eight years of policies that have strengthened Iran and failed to secure America or our ally Israel. Instead of tough talk and no action, we need to do what Kenne...
Dinosaurs, Man, and Galling?s Hypocrisy of The Bible
2008-05-15 06:17:00 Now look at Peter Galling, one of Ham’s cronies’ playing innocent, engaging in bibliolatry, and being a hypocrite with this new approach to responding to a feedback given by an S.T. from Rockport, Texas and L.B. from a somewhat false location (What false location, Galling?), “We thought we?d try something a little different in this week?s response to feedback. Usually, we select one negative feedback to answer, always looking for an emailer who asks a valid question rather than someone just unloading unsubstantiated claims. Recently, we received two relatively similar emails asking about our contention (or the Bible?s contention, as we argue) that dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time. Both authors write as Christians, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to address the question once again and touch on some of the issues it relates to.” The contention of humans and dinosaurs living at the same time is not of the Bible. It’s all made up b...
Chris Kelly at the Huffington Post Proves that Idiocy is Institutional
2008-05-13 14:47:00 Last week I was reading some of the news stories about Jenna Bush?s wedding and I was appalled by some of the comments written in the response sections. While some people were nice and wished the couple well, many could not resist the opportunity to bring politics into the mix and insult Jenna and her ...
By: Webloggin
On Richie Sexson, Kason Gabbard, And Outright Idiocy
2008-05-09 07:17:00 A few things: ? I try very, very hard to steer clear of personal attacks directed towards anybody associated with the great game of baseball, but I’ll make a special exception in this case. Richie Sexson is a gutless, spineless, piece of trash. Because I am so heated, I’ll allow a (semi)-neutral third party - namely, the ...
Hillary Loans Herself $6.4 Million and Other Campaign Idiocy
2008-05-07 18:06:00 FOX reports that Sen. Hildebeast Clinton loaned herself $6.4 million in the last month to keep her struggling campaign afloat. The pundits are so busy talking about her chances against Obamination that it seems everyone’s missing the most obvious question of all: How in blazes is that bimbo expected to do anything with the ...
By: Euphoric Reality
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved (Part 10)
2008-05-02 22:26:00 Mirrored here. Ham’s Ideas Solves Not a Dang Thing. Ham says that telling people about the true history of the world and presenting the solution to the world’s problems (his way) is what his book is all about or so he thinks. To tell you the truth, his ideas will solve not a dang thing! Ham’s ideas, ...
Oard?s Frozen Folly
2008-04-30 23:44:00 It’s very easy to think dinosaurs lived only in swamps and in sub-tropical climates as shown in so many illustrations found in popular dinosaur books, posters, and films. But in recent years, since the mid-1980s’, scientists have been making astonishing discoveries of fossil remains of dinosaurs living in areas such as Alaska, Australia, and Antarctica ...
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved (part 9)
2008-04-30 09:03:00 Mirrored here. More of Ham’s Moral Idiocy Ham then states falsely that the foundations of the gospel is all found in Genesis which is incorrect as stated in part 8 of this article. Ham threatens that if you accept evolution, then you are accepting the concept of millions of years of death, suffering, bloodshed, and disease happening ...
We Told You So?. Another Case of Liberal Idiocy Doing More Harm Than Good
2008-04-27 16:26:00 ?.but you wouldn?t listen. You had to go ahead and do it anyway, and only now, when things are getting serious, are you figuring it out yourself. These are words parents say to teenagers, and conservatives say to liberals. In teenage land, you end up with pregnancies, STDs, and substance abuse. In liberal land, you ...
By: Webloggin
1970's Movie Goer
2008-04-25 14:30:00 Catherine is it again with the Friday Flashback writing prompts.Today's theme is... well... let's just say that Catherine is really pregnant at this point and the theme is something about movies of your youth, the first movie you remember seeing or a movie that moved you as a young person.Something like that anyway.The first movie that came to mind for me was Pete's Dragon.What I remember is the AWESOME soundtrack (heh) and that I had a massive crush on Pete, a dirty faced, red head with masses of freckles.[What was I thinking?]See for yourself.The next film I vividly remember loving was Escape to Witch Mountain.My first thriller![I feel compelled to link to Michael Jackson.][And now, because that is the only youtube version of "Thriller" that I could find, I feel even more compelled to wonder about the racial politics of what I just linked to... the video has running commentary about the song's pop cultural influence provided entirely by white people. Um... hello? How about ...
By: Oh, The Joys
Montreal fans getting bad rap for idiocy of few
2008-04-23 15:37:00 So a few drunken idiots decide to stagger out of Chez Paree, or wherever they were pounding back more than their share of pints Monday night, go on an alcohol-induced vandalism spree and all of a sudden all Montreal supporters are idiots. Wow, you'd think we'd never seen over-zealous, liquored-up celebrations before.As my colleague Rick Couchman pointed out in his own space yesterday, most of the idiots using police cars as firewood after the elimination of the Boston Bruins weren't your prototypical Montreal Canadiens fans rather than drunken jackasses who were just looking for something to do burn. Hardly grounds for labeling an entire city, or at the very least a fanbase, as a bunch of thugs. Then you get a writer from Alberta denouncing the faithful of the bleu, blanc and rouge, throwing them off the moral platform while singing the praises of Calgary's infamous Red Mile.Go figure, the guy isn't even from Calgary.Having someone from Calgary Red Deer give victory celebr...
By: Hockey.com
Getting Organized
2008-04-23 14:18:00 Confused about our upcoming joint-family trip, I called our friend to confirm the dates."What nights are we going to the beach again?" I asked him.He told me, then asked,"Why? What's going on? You guys can still go, right?" "Yes, yes, we can still go, of course. K and I are just sitting here at our desks with our blackberries and our calendars doing a little family planning... you know, getting ready to HAVE SEX." Encapsulated in a split second, I saw the complete performance of a one act play on K's face.First, I saw his total shock, then his mortified embarrassment and, finally, a shrug of acceptance and resignation.He married a shameless clown with no boundaries.What can he do?Meanwhile our friend, knowing the two of us and our propensity to be overly organized, control freaks roared with laughter."That WOULD be foreplay in YOUR house!" he laughed.Oh... oh... oh... you. are. so. ORGANIZED, BAY-BEEEEEEEEEEE! YES!
By: Oh, The Joys
Bambi Jungle Queen
2008-04-22 15:06:00 Reciprocating their hospitality, we invited The Wife Who Snorted (and the rest of the family) to dinner over the weekend.I'm starting to think that snorting might be a theme in our relationship with this couple.During dinner, The Mayor decided to discuss the finer points of the film Bambi with the couple's nine year old son."We have the movie Bambi," he said. "Have you seen it?"The nine year old had not."It's about deer," The Mayor told him."Oh," the nine year old brightened. "Is that like, Bambi, Jungle Queen?"There was a pregnant pause before the snorting started.The Wife Who Snorts somehow managed to say,"Uh, no. Bambi Jungle Queen is a different movie ENTIRELY."Which was followed by uncontrollable grown up snorting and laughter."Why is that so funny?" the children demanded.We couldn't answer them.We were too busy imagining how Thumper might be portrayed in this alternate version of the enduring classic.Bow chicka BAMBI!
By: Oh, The Joys
Oh, My Largess
2008-04-20 02:00:00 I strode through the airport wearing my iPod and listening to my favorite songs on my way to a business meeting in St. Louis last week. I felt an overwhelming benevolence for my fellow humankind. I opened my eyes to the unique, heart-breaking complexity of everyone around me. I found the intrinsic, sometimes hidden, beauty in every face. Then, when my colleague met me at the gate, I took the iPod off and we boarded the plane. A mother and her three year old boy were seated across the aisle from me. Knowing from experience what the mom was going through traveling with him, I thought about helping her out by interacting with the boy. But I realized then that I'm not all that benevolent after all. [I should really keep my iPod ON.]
By: Oh, The Joys
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved Part 7
2008-04-19 05:37:00 Mirrored here. Alan Feduccia Alan Feduccia is among a very tad few evolutionists out there who do mean well, but they object the notion of birds being descendants of dinosaurs and would rather stick with the orthodox view of birds being descendants of a certain common ancestral reptile, thinking the idea of dinosaurs evolving into birds as ...
Absolut Idiocy
2008-04-15 16:35:00 I'm not so thin-skinned that I don't get the irony here--that I don't understand the appeal that Absolut is trying to bring to Mexican consumers. After all, most Mexicans drink Tequila right? I mean, since Trotsky there haven't been too many other Vodka drinkers down there. But this is still a pretty insulting image to me. The first thing I think of when I see it is not a "perfect world" as the ad men at Absolut were intending. I see California, Oregon, Utah, Nevada, Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and some other US land all suddenly cast into Mexican poverty, under the corrupt reigns of a corrupt quasi-Republic State. The Mexican government has done more to harm its people than anyone here in the States. It's time the protesters stopped protesting U.S. policy (which I'm not a fan of) and started marching in the streets against the Mexican government. Real reform could bring prosperity to Mexico. It is rich in re...
By: Blendwire
Oh, the Geriatric Pele
2008-04-15 14:30:00 This weekend we arranged a play date at the park for The Rooster and one of her friends from daycare.I played soccer with the nine year old brother of Rooster's friend while the other parent watched the girls on the playground.I used to play competitive soccer when I was in elementary and middle school, but I?m pretty sure my last season was when I was in sixth grade.Nevertheless, I was impressed with my speed and agility.[Look at me go!]I kicked the ball with amazing force and precision![I am an Olympic Soccer Super Star!!!]I played so hard and ran so fast that I wore the nine year old out. He got winded and had to quit first.[Ha!]I was feeling really proud of my self and, because I am not very mature, I taunted my nine year old friend.?I a-am faster. I a-am stronger.? I sang while shaking my butt in little victory shimmies.He grinned, rolled his eyes and told me to shut up.However, I am a serious idiot.Oh, my aching HUBRIS!!I am in desperate need of some sort of butt massaging de...
By: Oh, The Joys
The Science of Idiocy
2008-04-15 11:15:00 © %FIRST - get over to the plooptionary for more graphical humour based on the worldwide idiocy pandemic ...
By: plooptionary
Shower Gifts
2008-04-14 16:00:00 When The Mayor was less than a week old, my mom noticed that his inner thighs were completely black and blue. We called the pediatrician and they asked us to bring him in. The intake nurse was pretty disconcerted when she saw his legs. One after another, the pediatricians filed in to have a look. The Mayor seemed fine, didn?t appear to be in any pain and didn?t wince or cry when the black and blue spots were touched. The doctors couldn?t figure out what was wrong with him. This weekend, I went to my friend Tomi?s baby shower. Seeing all the tiny newborn clothes reminded me of The Mayor?s shower, being close to the end of my first pregnancy and being a new mom. I thought about his tiny, little diapers. At the baby shower that my friend Michele threw for me, the guests were given a marker and a stack of newborn diapers. Each guest wrote messages and drew pictures on the diapers so that K and I would be amused during 3:00 a.m. feedings. The diapers were hilarious. They...
By: Oh, The Joys
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved! (part 5)
2008-04-11 19:48:00 Mirrored here. Ham’s Lie about Dinosaur Diet Page 47 asks, “What did dinosaurs eat, and how did they behave?” Answer: Most dinosaurs were plant-eaters. Others ate meat. The rest ate both. It all depends on the fossil clues left behind by the dinosaurs based on their behavior. This just comes to show just how creationists like Ham go ...
More on the idiocy that is JCAHO (with a little Press-Gainey thrown in)
2008-04-11 04:12:00 A couple of great anti-JCAHO rants today.The first is found at MDOD, 911 Doc you are my hero.Then for a little bit more check out this post at Respiratory Therapy 101.As much as I hate the idiocy that is JCAHO, what really is frightening me is the talk that reimbursements are going to be tied to patient satisfaction scores. I can see how that is going to be..."I want a prescription for Vicodin." says the patient that was in two days ago for the same bullshit complaint. "OK" says the poor doctor who has been threatened with his job if he doesn't keep patient satisfaction scores up.Doctors and nurses will be leaving the profession in droves. Perfect.
By: ERnursey
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved! (part 4)
2008-04-10 23:16:00 Mirrored here. The Great Dragon Lie The nest question asks, “Is there another word for dinosaurs?” Answer: Except birds, No. No other word for dinosaur has ever existed, except for birds. But Ham, the liar, thinks there is and it’s not “birds” according to him, but dragons. Ham brings on the fabrication about dinosaurs being dragons, not ...
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved! (part 3)
2008-04-09 07:27:00 Mirrored here. Original Sin Pages 17 and 18, reveals an emotional plea from Ham, where as he invoke Genesis 3:21 in the Bible to justify his drivel, he claims both animal and people death are the result of Adam’s sin and that dinosaurs fossils (let alone other fossils) were not millions of years old because death, disease, ...
Spring Is Worse Than Tequilla
2008-04-09 02:00:00 Driving home from the market tonight, I noticed the scores of spring blossoms flagrantly waving themselves at the passing traffic.Sluts!!All the cars and even the streets themselves were dusted in bright yellow pollen.Oh, what a whorish season!I came to a stop at a red light and looked over at the car next to me.The passenger had these giant, chocolate brown eyes.[Oh, swoon!]He was staring at me in this intense, way. His look seemed so innocent, so full of pure love.I found myself grinning dreamily at him. I might have imagined it, but I think I saw his ears perk up at my smile.The driver, a man who had eyes that matched the passenger's, turned to look into my car.He totally busted me...flirting... with his dog.Oh, saucy season of Spring! What have you done to me?I was left with no choice but to rush home, burst through the door and shout..."Bark like a dog, sweet husband!"[Bow chicka bow wow!]
By: Oh, The Joys
More Idiocy from the Governator
2008-04-05 04:20:00 Oh yeah, and medi-cal reimbursements are going to be delayed, half a month in July and the whole month of August.Since over half of our income comes from Medi-cal payments imagine what that is going to do to our hospital.
By: ERnursey
Pulitzer Prize for Drama
2008-04-04 22:00:00 The Rooster has a doll named Baby Stella.She meant to bring it with her to school today, but she forgot.Because I wouldn't go back and get it for her, I had to suffer Tennessee Williams all the way to daycare.Oh. Mah. Got.
By: Oh, The Joys
Oh, The Bovine
2008-04-03 16:30:00 For the last three days I've been facilitating an out of town meeting for work.The participants were bowled over by my facil-ee-tay-shun skillz and could barely contain their enthusiasm for every topic I introduced.They were rapt, rapt I tell you!!The only down side to the beautiful meeting location were the swarms of biting "no see 'ums."I don't know why they're called no see 'ums, I mean, I could TOTALLY SEE 'EM!Anyway, the bugs bit me incessantly.One of the meeting participants (that I had just met) said,"Well there's one in every herd.""Excuse me?" I said."In every herd there's one cow genetically predisposed to attract biting bugs, you know, to keep them away from the other cows. You must be the cow that protects the herd."Um... is it me, or did she just call me a cow?
By: Oh, The Joys
The Great Dinosaur Mystery Solved!
2008-04-03 08:19:00 (Mirrored here.) Dinosaurs are the most mysterious of all creatures. All that we have of them is their fossils they left behind when they died out 65 million years ago. Even though, we know so much about dinosaurs, there is much, much more to them that we don’t know about. Such as what color the dinosaurs ...
Advertising idiocy
2008-04-02 02:51:00 When watching anything on surfthechannel you can expect, in the bottom right corner, your typical asinine flash ad. I?d usually avoid having to look at ?tickle the fat kid till he laughs to win an i-pod? or ?dunk cupid? or some other gank by either shrinking my browser or going for the full screen option.The problem lies with two other flash ads that randomly reside in the bottom right corner of doom. Said ads make an annoying error noise every few seconds, seemingly to try and draw your attention. This would be fine, well no it wouldn?t, but I could at least understand the peon thinking behind it if it wasn?t overlooking the fatal floor that this is a video site! People come here to watch videos and inherently these include sound, as in people talking, errrrrrr.So with much irritation and a swift refresh, you pray to land on a flash ad that?s slightly less evil on the roulette wheel of shit.
By: I'm not dead
Saving Stuff
2008-03-28 15:30:00 Do you ever think about what you would rescue if you woke up in the middle of the night and the house was on fire?It's morbid, I know, but I think about it sometimes.Hmmm.... what would I save?[This assumes The Mayor, The Rooster and K are all completely safe already, of course.]Would it be a quilt that my Granny made?A vanity cabinet that my grandfather built?My Preppy Handbook diary from High School?[Ugh! No! Come to think of it, I should burn that diary this afternoon!]Just one thing?Ack!There are too many things attached to too many memories.I try remember that it's all "just stuff" but it is hard.Maybe I should ask my brain to go easy on me and, when it wakes me in the middle of the night, ask me something simple like,"What wouldn't you put in your YMCA locker (which you NEVER lock) because you would be totally bummed to lose it?"[Oh, the frivilous questions that are easily answered!!]The Frye boots that I have always been too cheap practical to buy... but found (brand new ...
By: Oh, The Joys
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Blog Post
2008-03-27 14:00:00 Come to the dark side, Luke!" K said, channeling James Earl Jones."Don't listen to him, Luke!" I urged.Organizing his own entertainment for the morning commute, The Mayor assigned the role of Darth Vader to K and the role of Red Darth Vader to me.[You haven't heard of Red Darth Vader? Me neither.]Black Darth Vader urged Luke (a.k.a. The Mayor) to become evil while Red Darth Vader encouraged him to resist and remain true to the Jedi."It's much harder to be good," Red Darth Vader reminded Luke.The Mayor weighed his options and PLAYED the two adult Vaders.[Who were, perhaps, a little too into the game. What's that about?!!]While K and I play-debated the virtues of good vs. evil, The Rooster quietly ate dry breakfast cereal in her car seat.Just as we were dropping K at the commuter rail station she piped up and, in her most sweet and innocent voice, said..."Mommy and Daddy, I am on the dark side."Hearing my baby girl swear allegiance to the dark side sent a chill down my spine.Not...
By: Oh, The Joys
The Morning After "The Fire"
2008-03-14 14:00:00 Catherine and Tracey asked me to take a photo of myself first thing in the morning and publish it here.Ho-kay.Here it is...Oh, dat's right.Firefighters are the new Park Rangers, baby!National Park Rangers are so last year.[Snap!]For more of the hot wimmins in their first-thing-in-the-morning glory, clickity click here:HBMSweetneyBreed 'Em & WeepMissus MamaloguesMrs. FlingerMs. MotherBumperIzzyOTJAnyone can participate in this theme post. All you are asked to do is copy the list of participants and add it to the bottom of your post -- and don't forget to add yourself!
By: Oh, The Joys
Beady Eyed Peeps & The Bad Bunny Anthology
2008-03-13 14:00:00 The ransom note came home yesterday."Deliver the plastic eggs filled with candy or live with the shame of your performance as a mother forever!!!"It's time to buy the effing school egg hunt supplies again.[Week after week, it's always something... cupcakes, valentines, craptastic plastic something or other...]Now I have make a trip to the Whale*Mart and brave the aisle full of scary peeps.[Is it just me or are peeps a little menacing?]In fact, Smilin' Mighty Jeebus and his risen-ness aside, the whole holiday is a little freaky.It's not just the peeps, the bunnies are scary too.What? You don't agree?"Judge, I submit my evidence..."Ninja BunnyVampire BunnyBunzillaBunzilla's Cousin EarlThe Dread Pirate RabbitsCarnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #1Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #2 Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #3 Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #4 Carnivorous, Man-Eating Bunny #5 Carniverous, Man-Eating Bunny #6 Ghost Bunny "I rest my case!"Good dog! [And even so, still I must brave ...
By: Oh, The Joys
In Fact I Hang Out with My Best Friend's Husband
2008-03-11 19:00:00 Okay, okay.So I?m a hypocrite and a liar.I said I wouldn?t / don?t / won?t hang out with your husband, right?Well, mea culpa.K was out of town for the weekend, so what did I do?I went and got all WILD with some husbands.I ran into my friend Michele's husband and their children at the park.Aaron had given Michele the afternoon off and was at the playground with another Dad and his kids.[Count with me now... one, two. Two dads.]When I overheard Aaron ask the other Dad if he wanted to mojametize to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner, do you know what I said?Was it,?May I join you??Nope.Was it,?Would you mind if I tagged along??Nope.Was it,?I?ll go.?Bingo.[Shameless HUSSY!!!]Aaron looked at me oddly.?What? What is it?? he said.He thought I said his son's name and scanned the playground for him.?I'll go to the restaurant,? I repeated.?Oh! Okay!? he said, trying to hide his surprise.It was Sunday night, K's plane was delayed, I'd been on my own with the short and loud people for...
By: Oh, The Joys
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