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Second Husband
2008-06-10 18:29:00 A divorced man meets his ex-wife's new husband at a party. Later, after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: 'So... How do you like using second hand stuff?' The new husband replies: ’It isn't that bad. Past the first 2 inches it's all brand new.' (via Phil’s Phun)
By: Miss Cellania
The Truth About Internet Dating
2008-06-04 16:36:00 The entire truth is told in one cartoon. It warmed my heart, then brought a tear to my eye (sorta), because it’s so true. I would like to know who the artist is.
By: Miss Cellania
Creative Proposals
2008-04-30 06:07:00 In the media age, there’s a sort of one-upmanship involved in making your marriage proposal bigger, splashier, and more creative than anything anyone has ever seen before. This can be really nice, especially for those of us who just enjoy it vicariously, whether we know the participants or not. You saw quite of few of those on my previous post on Proposals. If you are the one proposing, you are putting yourself on the line for the entire world to see your humiliation if she says no. If you’re the woman surprised by an elaborate and public proposal, you might be truly touched, or you might want to sink into the floor from embarrassment. Or you might feel pressured into saying “yes” because of the audience when you really want to run for your life. Either way, the rest of us are going to enjoy the show, so keep those wacky proposal ideas coming! Ted and Anna Get Engaged The entire Scrubs cast and crew were in on the surprise. ...
By: Miss Cellania
Marriage Woes
2008-04-01 06:03:00 There’s (almost) nothing worse than a bad marriage -when you’re in it, itching to get out. People stay in bad marriages because 1. they stick to their vows, B. for the kids, and 3. fear. I don’t understand the fear. There’s fear of poverty, although I can tell you from experience that poverty is not as bad as the fear of poverty. There’s fear of loneliness, and I’ll tell you from experience that as bad as loneliness is, it beats being miserable. OK, that’s enough serious stuff. Good marriages have plenty of opportunity for comedy, but bad marriages have even more. Sexual Communication Here’s a husband you don’t want. Too bad so many women already have him. (Thanks, Jan!) This study found that for each 16-point rise in a woman’s IQ, her marriage prospects declined by 40%. Is it any wonder that smart women are dying their hair blond? Some folks stay together because...
By: Miss Cellania
Valentines Gone Bad
2008-02-14 06:14:00 For years, I told myself that Valentines Day meant nothing, it was just a way to sell flowers and candy and diamonds. And I believed it. It didn’t bother me when I got no cards or gifts, because I had a man right there. It didn’t matter that he always forgot Valentines day, or else just neglected to do anything for the occasion, because he was there. Then I became single, and I continued to tell myself that it’s a lame holiday that doesn’t matter. But it’s different when you are alone. My brain still tells me that it doesn’t matter, but now I have no one here to say, “Valentines Day? It just snuck up on me. Come here and give me a kiss.” For a lot of us, Valentines Day is the one day you are forced to confront the fact that you are alone, with no cards or flowers or kisses. Yeah, its stupid, but its the honest truth. I’m going to go gorge on leftover Christmas chocolate. Honest, I’m OK with it the rest of the ye...
By: Miss Cellania
Lovelife (Audio CD)
2008-02-10 04:02:00 Lovelife (Audio CD)By Lush 59 utilised and new from $0.99 Customer Rating: First tagged “pop” by B. McCall “exile103″ Customer tags: lush, dream pop, pop, britpop Technorati Tags: lush, dream pop, ...
Dates
2008-02-05 06:07:00 An anxious college kid borrowed his roommate's car, scraped together every penny he could find, picked up his date at her parent's house, and took her to a nice restaurant for dinner. But he got more and more upset when she proceeded to order everything pricey on the menu: fancy mixed drinks, lobster, champagne, the works. Finally, he couldn't stay silent any more, and blurted, "Does your mother feed you like this at home?" "Nope," she replied with a demure smile, "but my mom's not trying to get lucky either." ****** A part of me longs for the old days when we at least pretended that both parties were looking for something loftier, like a long term partner. Too much time on the internet had caused me to see dating as a deal. He wants sex. She sets the price, anywhere from a lobster dinner to a lifetime commitment. Color me cynical. Graham Norton Investigates Speed Dating My life as a hot woman. Th...
By: Miss Cellania
Matrimony
2008-01-08 06:08:00 I wonder if marriage is anything like riding a bicycle. Or a career. I was on air for 24 years, and I’ve not missed it once in the two years since, but I think it would be easy again within a few minutes of doing it. Marriage? I don’t know.... I was married for a couple dozen years, not to the same guy, but pretty much constantly through my adult life. After three years of being single, it seems I have forgotten what it’s like to have someone who needs to know where you are at all times, someone who expects some kind of normalcy in a daily schedule, someone who can reach that lightbulb without a ladder. I’m no expert, but I can always find someone on the net who is... or at least writes like they think they are. And there is no shortage of people with an opinion on marriage! Arranged Marriage A guide for Thai women on finding a foreign husband. (via Look at This) Move the couch, maybe you’ll get his attention. S...
By: Miss Cellania
Christmas Romance
2007-12-21 07:04:00 OK, I could’ve done the direct thing and titled this post Christmas Sex, but somehow that just didn’t seem right this close to Christmas. Can I help it if the links just happen to come that way? Hmm, I didn’t mean that like it sounded... But today is the winter solstice, so we may as well proceed in the spirit of the ancient saturnalia. Love and sex are both expressions of celebration, and have been since before recorded history. And probably will be for as long as there are men and women. Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man This Christmas) Infidelities and Christmas music collide in I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus from Robot Chicken. The Miraculous Immaculate Crack-Head Christmas Tree. Fark dared to ask the question, “What do men really want for Christmas?” And the answers are pretty much what you’d expect. Here’s a fascinating Craigslist ad by a guy who doesn’t want to be alon...
By: Miss Cellania
Mars and Venus: Crossed Signals
2007-11-25 06:05:00 Another post in the never-ending series on the differences between men and women. Its an eternal research project. Today is a continuance of last week's topic, the drive to find a soulmate of the opposite sex (at least in most cases). We keep kissing frog after frog, knowing there's a prince or princess out there somewhere. Along the way, so many things can go so wrong. The internet has made meeting each other so much weirder. Here's a drasticly telescoped version of a weeks-long conversation I had with a man I "met" online last year. He: I saw your picture, and I think you're hot. I want to get to know the woman behind the blog. Me: I don't know, we have nothing in common, and you live 2000 miles away. He: OK. Then lets have cybersex. How to Tell When a Relationship is Over Oh, here's a really compatible couple. Should I dump him or not?Top 10 Dating Mistakes Men Make. For every complaint on one side, there's a complaint on the othe...
By: Miss Cellania
Lovelife or Career?
2007-11-19 12:41:00 Excuse the cheesy title but what else can i do to get your attention? :)Without batting an eyelash, my answer to that is Career with a capital C! One really doesn't have to choose but the girls over at this forum i am active at, observe the same, that when your career is doing a bit well, your lovelife seems to get in the doldrums. Maybe the YinYang philosophy is really in effect. Just to share, I rarely see or even talk to my partner with 100% undivided attention and that leaves me more time studying and doing tiny weeny blog projects over at Pinay Money Maker. On Saturday I shall attend a seminar in Podium called "Blogging for Money" which really cost me money (Php 1,500) but I expect I will learn a lot and knowledge is always priceless. I am not monetizing this blog but i'd like to experiment with Pinay Money Maker.Lots of opportunities pouring down and last night, to get myself focused I practiced yoga with all the moolahbandahhh, warrior pose, and sun worship. I guess it not ...
By: Suzaku Lace
Mars and Venus: Seeking
2007-11-18 06:09:00 We've established by now that men and women are way different, although that shouldn't have any bearing on our worth as humans or our rights as citizens. But different we are. And the drive to connect with the other is overwhelming (read into that what you wish). Along the lines, you can run into a million types of guys, or gals, and you just wish you could pick this quality from that one, and that quality from the other one and put them all together for the perfect mate. Kinda like a Stepford Wife. Maybe these links will help, or at least amuse you along the way. And for those of you who are married, count your blessings. Its a jungle out there! MEN ARE CONFUSING If you kiss him, you are easy If you don't, you are frigid If you praise him, he thinks you are fake If you don't, he thinks you are ungrateful If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive If you don't, you are controling If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate If you don't, he...
By: Miss Cellania
Pickup Lines
2007-11-08 06:02:00 I don’t remember anyone ever using a clever pickup line on me in a bar. And that’s not just because I don’t remember things after I’ve been drinking! I think it has more to do with never running into any clever men in a bar. There was a period a couple of years ago when I went to a bar to meet new people, but all I met were a couple of fascinating women and a bunch of drunk men. Now, I’ve received a lot of very clever lines from men on the net. I guess it’s easy to flirt with someone when you are a few hundred or a few thousand miles away! Hey Baby -Maggie Estep (via Exploding Aardvark) Scientists are studying how pickup lines work, in an evolutionary sense. Best (or worst) pickup lines. I’d have to go with “worst”. A pickup line for math geeks. I don’t get it, even after I read the explanation at the link. Do you? Then there’s the direct approach, as illust...
By: Miss Cellania
Love and Romance
2007-10-22 06:01:00 Try explaining the difference between love and romance to kids. I mean, you can tell them day in and day out, but my daughters have years of Disney princess movies behind them and years of romantic comedies ahead of them. They have only a few years of seeing Mommy and Daddy together, and they were awfully young then. Grandmas without Grandpas are no help, either. It’s hard to set an example in a family with no men! But then again, I had a great example from my parents and still had to fall on my face quite a few times before I learned that romance is not love, and love is not romance. I am older and wiser now, and willing to take either for what it’s worth. It’s a pity that so much nice romance is wasted on those who mistake it for love. And how much love is wasted on those looking for romance. Or just a roll in the hay. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. ...
By: Miss Cellania
In all the wrong places
2007-10-07 06:18:00 Oy, I once took inventory, and figured I knew 8 unmarried men over 21. Five are substances abusers (which may explain why they are unmarried), two are scared of me (which is fine, because they are a bit creepy anyway), and one is just not interested. It could possible be because he is ten years younger than I am and has his choice of ladies. We'll never know, 'cause I'm not going to ask. Since then I've met many men, with about the same luck, but I've also encountered some stuff that has to make you laugh. INTERNET DATING Gotta be careful here, the honesty level is.. uh, variable. A friend with experience told me "Don't bother." He also gave me a guide to interpreting profiles. (Thanks, Joe!) WOMEN mid 20's=19 late 30's=44 late 40's=61 Rubenesque figure=so fat she has her own zip code sensuous=horny and hard to satisfy settled=has slept with every man in the neighborhood good conversationalist= never stops talking model-like looks=picture could be in a vete...
By: Miss Cellania
First Date
2007-08-07 06:07:00 I make jokes about how I can’t get a date, but by now I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I won’t find a date, or serious relationship, or even a frivolous relationship, as long as I am “geographically undesirable” (thanks to Skunkfeathers for that lovely term). And even if I moved to a desirable place, my chances would only rise to about 1% because I am a middle-aged woman with minor children. The upside to that is I can pretend that my looks and personality are not to blame! So I have decided to give up my whining about my personal life, at least for now, unless I can make something really funny out of it. You can thank me later. Meanwhile, lots of other folks are having difficulty finding someone special, too, so we can continue to laugh at them. Real Honesty on a First Date (via YesButNoButYes) Ten More Signs You’ve Been Single Too Long. The “More” implies there were others earlier, but I c...
By: Miss Cellania
Mars and Venus: Marriage
2007-07-26 06:04:00 We all make jokes about how awful marriage is, and there’s a lot of reason to! Anytime you put two people together, there’s going to be clashes of one sort or another... or all kinds. But we keep doing it! Even though the rate of legal marriage is going down, people still seek a committed cohabitating partnership. Some folks do it over and over again, hoping to get it right this time. Why? Because when all is said and done, having someone to talk to, to sleep with, and to grow old with beats doing it all by yourself. How Men Talk to their Wives. (via Bits and Pieces) Were you checking her out? A marriage made in ... World of Warcraft? You would think that a role-reversal would give men and women some insights into each other’s struggles, but human nature sometimes trumps intelligence or empathy. She thinks like a woman, he thinks like a man. That can cause problems. SHORTIES Scientists...
By: Miss Cellania
Cheating
2007-07-10 06:02:00 Oh, yeah, it’s easy for me to make jokes about cheating! It’s hard to cheat, or be cheated on, when you are unmarried and unattached. And can’t even get a date. When you are in my position, you marvel at how anyone can actually get TWO people to pay attention to you, much less have sex with you. Or in some cases, more than two people. That doesn’t make it right, it just makes it out of my league. Like some of the other subjects I've covered, cheating, affairs, adultery and such can be funny, as long as it’s happening to someone else. Especially someone you don’t care about. Like the fictional characters you’ll meet here today. Automated Confession (via The Rain in Spain) The Checkmate Semen Detection Kit is not a joke. For $49.95, you can have your wife or daughter’s underpants tested. Creepy. If you’re going to do DNA tests to see if your spouse is cheating, you might no...
By: Miss Cellania
Sunshine Dizon’s Lovelife this Year 2007
2007-07-09 00:00:00 google_color_border = "DCF0F6"; google_color_bg = "EAF0F2"; google_color_link = "0033FF"; google_color_url = "999966"; google_color_text = "663300"; Sunshine Dizon seems to be loveless this year. Despite her previous relationship with Polo Ravales now they seems to be “friends only”. During an interview in chika minute with Polo, he said something that makes Sunshine seems flattered. She is not expecting ...
Dating Horrors
2007-06-05 06:05:00 Once again, a subject I know very little about, yet I keep on posting. Sometimes I just can't help myself. There’s too much material about the ups and downs of the dating game. The more I laugh at other’s difficulties in dating and finding the right person, the better I feel about staying home on Saturday nights. Every Saturday night. Week after week, month after month, year after year. Probably every Saturday night for the rest of my life. OK, now I’m starting to feel bad about it, lets get on with the funnies, quick! This is why I don’t do dating services. (via Everlasting Blort) I Can’t Believe He’s Still Single! Some of the more entertaining dating profiles found around the net. Guys can use this is a guide for what NOT to say. Don’t date him, Girl! Aunt Calamity’s Cyber Dating Guide. On the web, men are pigs. In real life, men are real pigs. The 100 Unsexiest Men 2007. That's a lot. I’d suggest you ...
By: Miss Cellania
Robbie Williams Lovelife and Music
2006-12-02 15:47:02 One of Robbie's most well known "quality" is his frequent change of girlfriends and sexual partners. One may say that only from a singing part of his ex-girlfriends a back-up vocals could be set up. He has dated with pop stars Geri Halliwell, Nicole Kidman, Andrea Corr, Melanie C and Natalie Imbruglia as well as actress Cameron Diaz and the list just goes on. He mentioned that he lost faith in marriage as he had a broken engagement with Nicole Appleton and he now thinks that he can't never settle down with a single woman.Well, that just suits his image, doesn't it?He is currently single, as he recently broke up with his girlfriend Tania Strecker, to whom he dedicated his new song "She's Madonna", which will be released on his upcoming album "Rudebox 74". Allegedly, Tania Strecker also dated Guy Ritchie before she dated Robbie Williams, but Ritchie broke up with her saying: I'm sorry, I love you, but she's Madonna.Ritchie's now infamous brake-up line forms the chorus of Robbie... |
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