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Sunday Morning Off-Topic: Mark Twain and Mothers Day Edition!
2008-05-11 12:00:00 It's Sunday Morning, that means it's time for a little off-topic reading. I've arbitrarily decided that until football season beings, Sunday's will be where we take a part of our day and read some examples of fantastic writing. This week's off-topic features the King of American Writing, Mark Twain. This piece, "On the Decay of the Art of Lying", was submitted to a writing contest for a 30 dollar cash prize. It did not win. But it's a fantastic piece of satire, and worth a few moments of your Sunday. Also, and please may Big Cat Country not be your reminder, but it's Mothers Day today. This website and my passion for football wouldn't exist were it not for my Mother's persistence. I may not understand her obsession with Oakland's Rob Ryan but she introduced me to football. So on this day of days, I like to say thanks! Mark Twain, below the fold: Mark Twain: On the Decay of the Art of Lying Observe, I do n...
Hazy Images
2008-05-08 19:50:00 I took this picture of the Mississippi River last week from the window of an airplane. The picture came out hazy. Looking at the Mississppi River got me thinking about the Mark Twain biography that I’m currently reading. While Twain’s riverboat days were only a small portion of his life, I find them interesting. I think part ...
Tom Sawyer Abroad by Mark Twain
2008-05-06 06:39:00 Tom Sawyer Abroad is a novel by Mark Twain published in 1894. It features Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn in a parody of Jules Verne-esque adventure stories. In the story, Tom, Huck, and Jim set sail to Africa in a futuristic hot air balloon, where they survive encounters with lions, robbers, and fleas to see some of the world's greatest...
By: Asiaing.com
Lies, Damn Lies, And Statistics: What Mark Twain and Benjamin Disraeli Woul
2008-05-05 04:20:00 Continuing my earlier rant about how real estate statistics don’t always tell an accurate story, let’s look at what Menlo Park’s numbers seem to indicate for our ongoing robust spring market. First, a recap: courtesy of our good friends the quant jocks over at Altos Research, we saw that the median price numbers for Menlo Park had dropped by some 30% — from $1.25M to $850K — over the 9 month period from April of 2007 to January 2008. That drop in median price, however, by no means reflected the reality on the ground in Menlo Park — in other words, it is not true that a home in Menlo Park that was worth $1M in April 2007 was suddenly only worth $700K in January 2008. The reason for that disconnect was simply the change in the mix of properties being offered: in the last half of 2007, the inventory of lower priced homes east of 101 swelled, dramatically pulling down the overall median. As if to emphasize that disconnect, we see what appears t...
Kiss the monster
2008-04-30 17:11:00 First of all, I recall to your attention the extraordinary fact with which I began. To wit, that the human being, like the immortals, naturally places sexual intercourse far and away above all other joys — yet he has left it out of his heaven! The very thought of it excites him; opportunity sets him wild; in this state he will risk life, reputation, everything — even his queer heaven itself — to make good that opportunity and ride it to the overwhelming climax. From youth to middle age all men and all women prize copulation above all other pleasures combined, yet it is actually as I have said: it is not in their heaven; prayer takes its place. - Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-88y50lWPnrQ Damn, P. Hux and Twain have it nailed, don’t they? Thanks to John Cavanaugh for passing this vid along.
Mark Twain - History
2008-04-18 03:41:00 The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice . - - - Technorati Tags: mark twain quote
By: pigassus.com
Poets? Weather: James Dickey and Mark Twain
2008-04-14 15:33:00 photo by www.moonraker.com A poet is someone who stands outside in the rain hoping to be struck by lightning. —James Dickey From the length of the bibligraphy of his poetic works, we can surmise that Mr. Dickey was frequently struck by metaphoric lightning. Mark Twain gives us this advice: “It is best to read the weather forecast before ...
Mark Twain - Political Humor
2008-03-17 06:49:00 Suppose you were an idiot . And suppose you were a member of Congress . But I repeat myself .
By: pigassus.com
Burn Witch, Burn!
2008-03-04 08:06:00 ?During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. The Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church, after doing its duty in but a lazy and indolent way for eight hundred years, gathered up its halters, thumbscrews, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She ...
By: ZA Vibes
Lego Celebridades: Mark Twain
2008-03-03 21:48:00 Esse o novo Lego da srio “famoso quem?”. Hehehehe… No sei quem tambm, mas que o boneco ficou legal, isso ficou. Com vocs, o ‘famoso quem’ Mark Twain verso Lego Celebridade:
By: PutsGrilo!com
Mark Twain - Fear Of Death
2008-02-26 06:17:00 I do not fear death . I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it .
By: pigassus.com
The Portable Atheist: Percy Bysshe Shelley and Mark Twain
2008-02-07 02:53:00 Christopher Hitchens’s book The Portable Atheist is a collection of “essential” writings for unbelievers. I’m currrently posting some of my miscellaneous thoughts about the various works in the book as I read them. According to Hitchens, Percy Bysshe Shelley was a victim of the theocracy that once ruled Oxford and Cambridge universities. He wasn’t allowed to ...
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. -Mark Twain
2008-01-19 11:50:00 Yes, Gentoo has some issues concerning the Gentoo foundation. Yes, we are actively working on straightening out these issues. No, Gentoo is not dying. Developers are still coding, servers are still humming and moral among developers that I work with is high. The state of the foundation is not something that will stop the kernel team from releasing kernels, the KDE team from working their butts off so KDE 4 compiles on everyones machine, or the release team from creating and testing the forthcoming release.
By: Server Tales
Free ebook download 5 ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN, BY MARK TWAIN
2008-01-19 04:54:00 CONTENTS.CHAPTER I.Civilizing Huck.—Miss Watson.—Tom Sawyer Waits.CHAPTER II.The Boys Escape Jim.—Torn Sawyer's Gang.—Deep-laid Plans. CHAPTER III.A Good Going-over.—Grace Triumphant.—"One of Tom Sawyers's Lies". CHAPTER IV.Huck and the Judge.—Superstition. CHAPTER V.Huck's Father.—The Fond Parent.—Reform. CHAPTER VI.He Went for Judge Thatcher.—Huck Decided to Leave.—PoliticalEconomy.—Th-rashing Around.CHAPTER VII.Laying for Him.—Locked in the Cabin.—Sinking the Body.—Resting.CHAPTER VIII.Sleeping in the Woods.—Raising the Dead.—Exploring the Island.—FindingJim.—Jim's Escape.—Signs.—Balum.CHAPTE-R IX.The Cave.—The Floating House.CHAPTER X.The Find.—Old Hank Bunker.—In Disguise.CHAPTER XI.Huck and the Woman.—The Search.—Prevarication.—Goin-g to Goshen.CHAPTER XII.Slow Navigation.—Borrowing Things.—Boarding the Wreck.—ThePlotters.—Hunting- for the Boat.CHAPTER XIII.Escaping from the Wreck.—The Watchman.—Sinking.CHAPTER ...
Quote of the Day: Mark Twain
2007-12-13 08:41:00 “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
The War Prayer - Mark Twain Circa 1905
2007-11-19 21:11:00 "The War Prayer," a short story or prose poem by Mark Twain, is a scathing indictment of war, and particularly of blind patriotic and religious fervor as motivations for war. The structure of the work is simple, but effective: an unnamed country goes to war, and patriotic citizens attend a church service for soldiers who have been called up. The people call upon their God to grant them victory and protect their troops. Suddenly, an "aged stranger" appears and announces that he is God's messenger. He explains to them that he is there to speak aloud the second part of their prayer for victory, the part which they have implicitly wished for but have not spoken aloud themselves: the prayer for the suffering and destruction of their enemies. What follows is a grisly depiction of hardships inflicted on war torn nations by their conquerors. The story ends on a pessimistic note: the messenger is ignored. The piece was left unpublished by Ma...
Mark Twain
2007-10-31 13:47:00 Cada vez que se encuentre usted del lado de la mayora, es tiempo de hacer una pausa y reflexionar.Lo acabo de leer en estas frases que se ponen por ah... es de Mark Twain. No me extraa. Y que alguien tome nota.
By: mariano planells
Mark Twain Nguyen
2007-10-26 20:50:00 One of the journalists brought in this Mark Twain version of "Adam and Eve," with both a Vietnamese and English translation. I can't explain the Little House on the Prairie Meets Harlequin Romance cover image, but there you go. From Eve's diary: "The moon got loose last night and slid down and fell out of its scheme--a very great loss; it breaks my heart to think of it. There isn't another
Mark Twain
2007-10-12 00:00:00 The first major release on the new website! I have compiled a collection of Mark Twain books for your enjoyment. As always, these can be found in the downloads section.The release includes the following books: 1. Mark Twain, A Biography, 1835-1910 by Albert Bigelow Paine 2. Adventures of Tom Sawyer 3. Tom Sawyer Abroad 4. Tom Sawyer Detective 5. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn 6. Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc, Volume 1 7. Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc, Volume 2 8. The $30,000 Bequest 9. Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven 10. The Man that Corrupted Hadleyburg 11. A Horse's Tale 12. Life on the Mississippi 13. The Prince and the Pauper 14. The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson 15. A Tramp Abroad 16. What Is Man? 17. Extracts From Adam's Diary 18. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court 19. Is Shakespeare Dead? 20. The Bridge-Builders
The War Prayer (by Mark Twain)
2007-10-08 06:21:00 This is for those supposed people of religion who support the illegal and unnecessary war in Iraq, and are already baying for an attack on Iran (a country which poses no imminent threat to the USA or my nation).Here is Mark Twain's reaction to the Philippine-American war (1899-1902), which Twain opposed. After hearing various clergy lead prayers in support of the war, Twain penned what he thought was the unspoken subtext of these preachers' sermons, "The War Prayer":"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of...
Quote of the Day: Mark Twain
2007-09-19 07:57:00 “I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
Quote of the Day: Mark Twain
2007-09-15 08:00:00 “Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
Mark Twain?s Rules Governing Romantic Fiction
2007-09-04 22:58:00 He wrote these rules in response to Cooper's first novel Deerslayer which was being praised by Professors of Literature. Not only are these rules a good laugh, but they are actually point out fundamentals in writing.
By: Gormanfilms
Funny Quotes - Bankers - Mark Twain
2007-08-29 17:50:00 “A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.” Mark Twain (1835 – 1910) U.S. humorist and writer
Mark Twain: Realism and Huckleberry Finn
2007-08-29 14:17:00 Is Mark Twain a Realist, nothing more and nothing less? As well as considering the meaning of Realism in a literary context this essay will critically examine the issues raised by the question with an analysis of Chapter XXXI, in which Jim is ?stolen? and Huck decides that he will help Jim though he believes ...
Cmo se llamaba realmente Mark Twain?
2007-08-13 10:49:00 El autor de “Un yanqui en la corte del rey Arturo”, de “Tom Sawyer” y de su secuela las aventuras de Huckleberry Finn se llamaba en realidad Samuel Langhorne Clemens y naci en Florida (Missouri, Estados Unidos) el 30 de Noviembre de 1835. Cuando tena cuatro aos, se traslad con su familia a la poblacin de ...
Exercise - Funny Quotes - Mark Twain
2007-08-03 15:48:00 “I take my only exercise acting as pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.” Mark Twain (1835 – 1910) U.S. humorist and writer
Las aventuras de Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
2007-08-02 04:46:00 Las aventuras de Huckleberry Finn (1885) escrito por Mark Twain,1835-1910 (Samuel Clemens),considerado el Dickens norteamericano, representa una de las primeras grandes novelas estadounidenses. También fue una de las primeras novelas escritas en inglés vernacular estadounidense, particularmente, el hablado por el narrador y protagonista principal de la historia, Huckleberry "Huck" Finn, el mejor amigo de Tom Sawyer (héroe de la otra obra escrita por Mark Twain Las aventuras de Tom Sawyer). La primera edición del libro se publicó el 18 de febrero de 1885. La historia se desarrolla a lo largo del río Mississippi, el cual recorren Huck y el esclavo huido Jim huyendo del pasado que han sufrido con el propósito de llegar a Ohio. Detalles idiosincráticos de la sociedad sureña como el racismo y la superstición de los esclavos, así como la amistad son algunos de los temas centrales de la novela. Esta obra supone pa...
The 123rd page 4 the 5th Paragraph
2007-07-29 10:24:00 Yet another Tagged post. As njaan says, vaayichittu kaaryamilla ( no good to read).This time, I was tagged by attributions ( Damn! I never can remember whether it is attribution with an 's' or without). Sorry! Was tagged by her a month ago. Before NC, actually. But, I saw his tag before hers. 5 minutes before.So. The rules:1. Name the person (of course with the link) who tagged you.2. Describe what you are asked to do, in this case publish 5th paragraph of page 123 of the book you are currently reading. (if the page does not have 5th paragraph, take the last paragraph. And if the book doesn?t have page no. 123, take the last page.)3.Tag five people.Ha! that was easy. Copy, paste.OK. I'm reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The complete series in one paperback volume. Written by Douglas Adams.The 5th para of the 123rd page is this:"Do you want me to kick you?" said Ford.It's a swell book. One I enjoyed reading. Really clever. All 5 of the novels. But I'm not sure D...
Quote of the Day: Mark Twain
2007-07-24 09:25:00 “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
Mike Randall is Mark Twain Live @ Fredonia Opera House
2007-07-19 22:03:00 Mike Randall as Mark TwainGeneral Admission $15Victorian Dazzle Festival Mike Randall has been bringing America's greatest humorist and author to life for more than 35 years and in more than 2,000 performances. Three hours of make-up combined with Twain's own words and mannerisms create a startlingly realistic portrait of "America's original stand-up comedian." Attending from out of town? Consider staying at one of the area's beautiful inns or bed & breakfasts as part of an overnight performance package. Sponsored by ECR International For more information on Chautauqua Lake Real Estate & Living visit: www.chautauqualakehomes.com Chautauqua Lake, NY Real Estate Services Informed, real estate information for buyers and sellers in Lake Chautauqua, Bemus Point, Chautauqua Institution, Jamestown and the greater Chautauqua County, NY area. MLS updated daily. http://chautauqualakehomes.com-
Mark Twain
2007-07-18 01:21:00 Autobiografia . El bobo Wilson . El forastero misterioso . El principe y el mendigo . Las aventuras de Huckleberry Finn . Las aventuras de Tom Sawyer . Sobre la decadencia del arte de mentir . Tom Sawyer, detective . Un yanqui en la corte del rey Arturo .
By: El ltimo libro
War Foretold: Mark Twain and the Sins of Our Race
2007-06-17 16:37:00 By Ramzy Baroud 6/16/07 When I resorted to Mark Twain?s writings I attempted to escape, at least temporarily from my often distressing readings on war, politics and terror. But his ?The Mysterious Stranger?, although published 1916, still left me with an eerie feel. The imaginative story calls into question beliefs that we hold as a ?matter of course? ? a favorite phrase of his. It summons the awful tendencies of ?our race?: our irrational drive for violence, be it burning ?witches? at the stake or engaging in wars that only serve the ?little monarchs and the nobilities.? As the Iraq war rages on, Twain?s words ring truer by the day. ?The loud little handful will shout for war?Then the handful will shout louder. A few fair men on the other side will argue and reason against the war with speech and pen, and at first will have hearing and be applauded; but it will not last long; those others will out shout them and presently the anti-war audiences will thin and lose pop...
Mark Twain Was A Psychopath?
2007-05-08 18:00:00 Sorry for the lack of anything lately, finals kept me fairly busy. Anyways...It seems like a lot of unnecessary work to make a claymation, full-length, childrens film based on what appears to be a surreal nightmare, but apparently someone felt that the demand was there. Regardless, the result is The Adventures of Mark Twain. Considering the fact that it creeps me out now, I can't imagine the emotional trauma that would have occurred had I seen this when I was 7. Here is a small segment:Here's the summary from Amazon.com:Based on elements from stories of Mark Twain, this feature-length claymation fantasy follows the adventures of Tom Sawyer, Becky Thatcher, and Huck Finn as they stowaway aboard the interplanetary baloon of Mark Twain. Twain, disgusted with the human race, is intent upon finding Halley's Comet and crashing into it, achieving his 'destiny.' It's up to Tom, Becky, and Huck to convince him that his judgement is wrong, and that he still has much to offer human...
Quote of the Day: Mark Twain
2007-03-20 02:49:00 “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
A Sampling of Mark Twain
2007-03-19 11:16:00 Mark Twain, one of the great humorists in our nation, had lots to say about reading, learning, and just about any aspect of life you can think of. Here is a sampling: The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it. It takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. It is wiser to find out than to suppose. Between believing a thing and thinki...
Quote of the Day: Mark Twain
2007-03-12 03:09:00 “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.” Mark Twain US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)
Humor is mankind?s greatest blessing ? Mark Twain
2007-01-28 22:18:02 The cats and I have many chores to do today - these are necessary to distract us from the fact that none of us is getting any sex. The house is in pretty decent shape - will have to employ some work activities to round out the time. As expected, the relationship with my correspondent is going nowhere. Work and my overall mental health improved dramatically the latter part of the week. The manager rolled out the new organizational structure that I helped him devise; I found out he is planning to bring on board the guy we interviewed a few months ago (we liked him for my manager’s job but the higher ups rejected him for reasons that kind of do make sense and with which I won’t bore you); and it seems pretty clear that he and I will become the new supervisors in the group within the next year. LL is planning to retire this year and though I like him I won’t mourn his leaving; RL will end up somewhere else one way or another. The hardest part is that he’s no...
By: Age Ventures
Mark Twain on Israel's Landscape [1860s]
2006-07-18 21:51:00 In ancient times, the Land of Israel --previously known as Canaan-- was called a land of milk and honey. During the Second Temple period up to 70 CE, the land flowed with olive oil, an agricultural product that was exported and made the prosperity of the ancient Jews. Even after the devastation of Roman suppression of the Bar Kokhba revolt, most of the Land continued to flourish. Jews of Second Temple times built terraces on the hillsides of Judah and Samaria to hold the rainwater, a system which Professor Menashe Harel is convinced was a Jewish innovation. Many of these ancient terraces are visible to this day. However, after the Arab conquest, agricultural deterioration set in. Woods on the hills were cut down and the hills were not reforested. Walter Lowdermilk, an American expert on agronomy, wrote the once-famous book, Palestine, Land of Promise in the 1930s, which described the process from a scientific point of view. However, many earlier travelers had noted the ecological de...
By: Emet m\'Tsiyon
Famous Cigar Lovers Including Groucho Marx and Mark Twain
1969-12-31 19:00:00 As more and more entertainment venues close themselves off to the rich, complicated odor of cigar smoke, perhaps it’s time to remind ourselves that some of history’s great artists - writers, entertainers, musicians - were not just smokers but cigar lovers. From comedians to social critics, from rockstar pianists to Christian apologists, these luminaries found ...
Famous Cigar Lovers Including Groucho Marx and Mark Twain
0000-00-00 00:00:00 As more and more entertainment venues close themselves off to the rich, complicated odor of cigar smoke, perhaps it’s time to remind ourselves that some of history’s great artists - writers, entertainers, musicians - were not just smokers but cigar lovers. From comedians to social critics, from rockstar pianists to Christian apologists, these luminaries found ...
By: Resources zone
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