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Novelties: Instant Digital Prints (and Polaroid Nostalgia)
2008-04-13 06:28:00 Novelties: Instant Digital Prints (and Polaroid Nostalgia) Polaroid wants to conjure up those golden analog days of vast sales and instant gratification ? this time with images captured by digital cameras and camera phones. http://...
KiaOra magazine bright ideas
2008-03-31 11:45:00 If you’ve ever travelled with Air New Zealand you’ll be aware of their KiaOra magazine stuffed in behind their emergency instructions at the back of each seat. Did you know you’re allowed to take it with you? . The evening I recently spent with MrUsa there was a copy on the hotel room coffee table. He suggested running an ad in aforementioned magazine would be a good idea. He wasnt wrong! Brilliant. Now all I need to do is come up with one which disguises the “Hooker” element while still registering with those I need it to. Ive been thinking about it. What do you think of this? I took the KiaOra pic during my flight back from Queenstown. The things I point my camera at?!
The Pork Sword
2008-03-31 04:42:00 I googled Pork Sword after FoggyKiwis comment here. From Urbandictionary.com: Pork sword: penis, cock, dick, knob, dong, schlong, wang, meat, whistle, mutton, dagger, prick, spam, javelin, tube, steak, bologna, pony, boner, giggle, stick, junk, love stick, truncheon, meat club, meat spike, member, pocket rocket, pole, rod, salami, sausage, shaft, shlong, skin flute, tool, wee-wee, willy. 1. The spam javelin. When i was a lad i was a cavalier amongst pork swordsmen! 2. The large fleshy thing between a man’s legs. More commonly known as a penis. A whore would say “Whoa, you are hung. That’s the biggest pork sword I have ever seen on a customer” 3. The male genitalia or most widely known as the penis. I unsheathed my pork sword and thrusted it into her quivering quip. 4. A man’s pride. his chunk of meat hanging down between his legs. Put that Pork Sword away this minute! ur gonna have somebody’s eye out with it! 5. Penis; boy parts; tube st...
The cheek!
2008-02-10 08:22:00 Sitting at the computer this afternoon I heard a noise in the kitchen. That was my Vogels.
Virgo Fire Dragon
2008-01-28 00:57:00 Thanks to Zanthera at Northern Bound for these, they could be the most accurate short descriptions Ive read about myself. Lets101.com has other novel quizzes as well.
Friend: If a well hung man is called a Horse...
2008-01-24 13:29:00 …then Im a Shetland Pony! Sally: Hahha. I can forward about 150 penis enlargment emails a day, would that help? Friend: No. Im very happy with my Pony…but Id love to win the Melbourne Cup! Sally: Id love to SEE you win the Melbourne cup! Friend: I havent found a Jockey yet! Text conversation with a Friend this afternoon, no, yesterday now. Classic.
Virginia Penis Outrage
2008-01-16 19:02:00 Richmond, VA — Citizens of The Old Dominion were left shocked yesterday after a new bill was introduced, deeming all motor vehicles sporting any form of male genitalia to be castrated. Failure to do so may result in a penalty for indecent exposure.
No sex tonight
2007-12-29 18:17:00 I found this at College Being blog. Comments say its been around for awhile. Brilliant! One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!” So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different ...
40 mistakes men make while having sex with women
2007-12-26 16:23:00 I saw this first years ago on Monalisa Models but have just rediscovered it at funnyheck.com. Thoroughly amusing but alot of truth! Enjoy. 1. Not kissing first. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out non-essentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. 2. Blowing too hard in her ear. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts. 3. Not shaving. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance. 4. Squeezing her breast. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get ...
40 mistakes men make while having sex with women
2007-12-26 16:23:00 I saw this first years ago on Monalisa Models but have just rediscovered it at funnyheck.com. Thoroughly amusing but alot of truth! Enjoy. 1. Not kissing first. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out non-essentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. 2. Blowing too hard in her ear. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts. 3. Not shaving. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance. 4. Squeezing her breast. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get ...
RedEnvelope Really Delivers & Seals the Deals - (Up to 70% off at the Winte
2007-12-21 22:35:00 Oh, how thoughtful. You got me black socks…again. And wowee, do I smell fruitcake? Don’t give predictable and boring gifts when you can pleasantly surprise your recipient. Shop at RedEnvelope for novelties. Redeem the free coupon until January 31 to get up to 70% off at the Winter Sale! From animal webcams and accordion locket necklaces ...
By: Fabu Daily
Oral Sex
2007-12-21 01:13:00 Just emailed to me from Buddy Mendis. Im not normally into posting random novel pics but I liked this one. Check out the Cum on Face at the bottom . Thanks Buddy.
King Arthur - What do women want?
2007-12-05 11:50:00 Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout ...
What do women want?
2007-12-04 14:57:00 Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question? What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was fam...
Social Networking pandemonium
2007-11-26 05:42:00 Busy girl. The past week Ive torn my hair out investigating the internet phenomena called Social Networking (or Bookmarking). Not one to like being left behind, out of the loop, or in the dark, I gritted teeth and introduced myself. Had all better be worth it. With every new register page Im muttering another "here we go again" *sigh*. Many hours later Im signed up and have figured out the basics. Unfortunately Ive barely touched the surface, but, these little icons to the left are a start, Sallys social networking accounts. Come and say hi, add me as a friend because thats the IN thing and we'll look cool. Let the good times roll! All suggestions welcome.
Hungarian and French novelties
2007-11-20 00:03:00 A couple of non-English DVDs and books:Wuthering Heights 1998 appears in Hungary:Üvöltő szelek (1998)Stúdió/Forgalmazó: Klub PublishingLanguage: magyar (DD 2.0), englishl (DD 2.0)Format: 1,33:1 (4:3)Felirat nyelv: magyarRegion: 2Date: September 25, 2007Extras:Interaktív menükJelenetek közvetlen elérésselAnd Daphne du Maurier's The Infernal World of Branwell Brontë is republished in French by Éditions Phébus, in a different collection than last year's:Le Monde infernal de Branwell BrontëAuteur(s) :- DU MAURIER DaphneTraducteur(s) :- Fillion JaneEditeur : Editions Phébus (31 octobre 2007)Collection : LibrettoISBN-10: 2752903111ISBN-13: 978-2752903112Categories: Biography, Books, Branwell Brontë, Movies-DVD-TV, Translations, Wuthering Heights
By: BronteBlog
The Best Present Is Your Presence & The Best Gift Comes From The Paragon -
2007-11-06 21:38:00 When I was in grade 8, my aunt bought me a preschool-type calculator by Fisher Price. In grade 10, another relative bought me a kindergarten puppet set. Then when I was a high-school senior, I received a bottle of poison - a fragrance by Christian Dior, that is. There are bad presents and then there are ...
By: Fabu Daily
Erotic Chook
2007-11-06 03:34:00 Im regularly sent emails promoting Escort Directories, this one just arrived: erotichook.com. It took me a good while to realise it didnt read Erotic Chook (aka Chicken). Unsolictied emails, Im about to hit the extremely exciting target of 100 a day. I hate spam but it would seem theres a funny side to everything."Say goodbye to love failures and loneliness""Don't give in, fight for your manliness!""Don't be afraid to take off your pants in her bedroom""All sweet flowers succumb to big rod""Sail down the love canal more confidently""Prepare your love wand for the next battle"All for Penis Enlargement miracles. I dont even have one and Im getting a complex.
Erotic Chook
2007-11-06 03:33:00 Im regularly sent emails promoting Escort Directories, this one just arrived: erotichook.com. It took me a good while to realise it didnt read Erotic Chook (aka Chicken). Unsolictied emails, Im about to hit the extremely exciting target of 100 a day. I hate spam but it would seem theres a funny side to everything. "Say goodbye to love failures and loneliness" "Don't give in, fight for your manliness!" "Don't be afraid to take off your pants in her bedroom" "All sweet flowers succumb to big rod" "Sail down the love canal more confidently" "Prepare your love wand for the next battle" All for Penis Enlargement miracles. I dont even have one and Im getting a complex.
Best ever divorce letter
2007-11-05 03:00:00 An all time classic. This has been doing the rounds for years but still a great read for those who have or havent. I was sent it again the other day. Dear Connie, I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. This is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even ...
Best ever divorce letter
2007-11-05 00:45:00 A classic. This has been doing the rounds for years but still a great read for those who have or havent. I was sent it again the other day.Dear Connie,I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. This is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks a...
Enema 101
2007-10-04 05:41:00 I have a date with Enema school in the not too distant, looking forward to it and BYO bottom is ready and waiting...he's only a little nervous. Lesson 1 : Go easy on the Sherry!
FWD. from Shantell
2007-08-25 02:25:00 If a woman is uncomfortable watching you wank do you think: a) You need to spend more time together. b) She's a f***'n prude. c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus. Everyone should have a Shantell Myers in their life!
Insurgent Novelties
2007-06-24 23:31:00 From the pocket of a killed insurgent in Iraq, an Al Qaeda cigarette lighter. Good thing he left it behind, he’s not in want for fire where he is now. (turn down your volume first. Extremely annoying beep music plays)
By: postpolitical
Blasts from the Past
2006-05-18 14:56:00 Here’s a bunch of IRC quotes from bash.org to amuse you. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while, but I went quite tired of it and want to spend time elsewhere. This will cheer you up, anyway… #99060 +(18677)- [X] t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us ...
Penetrating My Private Parts (you guessed it: punfest)
2006-03-30 22:41:00 I get a lot of spam, and I’m sure you do too. Right now I’ve got 954 of them sitting in my spam folder. It doesn’t usually bother me as it’s mostly picked up by the spam filter, but in the last few days and weeks I’ve been getting all sorts of spam in my ...
Silicon Valley Facials
2006-03-17 21:28:00 Following Valleywag's facial comparison of Steve Ballmer and Harrison Ford, I find it inevitable to extend the feature to our most beloved/loathed Web 2.0 personalities. |
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