|
"Princess Leia and Prince Gomolvilas Do Some Deep Dishing"
2008-03-06 01:58:00 I retract my previous comment that we're not getting attention from the mainstream press. It just takes them a few weeks to catch up and write about us in relation to Star Wars royalty:Read the East Bay Express review.It boasts perhaps the best pullquote ever: "showmanship bordering on hucksterdom." When Jukebox Stories actually crosses over into hucksterdom, we will know that we have arrived.(Speaking of Star Wars, I love drawing the ire of my sci-fi nerd friends by insisting that Return of the Jedi is the best Star Wars movie because of those wonderful, heroic Ewoks. Yub-nub!)
By: Bamboo Nation
Prince Gomolvilas
2008-02-22 17:11:00 So like the people at ScholarPoint Financial, Inc had a $5,000 video contest and this dude Prince Gomolvilas won it. Here's his winning video submission:$5K down and $25K to go. Always keep your eyes open for opportunities like that.
Bright Eyes Vs. Prince Gomolvilas
2007-09-23 20:00:00 This Saturday, September 29, I give up my Bright Eyes tickets in order to entertain San Francisco, when I morph Bamboo Nation into an unforgettable live event at the Closing Night Gala of APAture 2007. I know that you don't care what I perform (some of you will come see me read the telephone book, which, by the way, is absolutely riveting), but you desperately want to know what I'll be wearing.As you know, I usually wear one of my fine, button-up Ben Sherman shirts or zip-up Ben Sherman track jackets whenever I make a public appearance. But sometimes I go a little crazy and try to prove to you that I can make anything look good, as I did with this lovely ensemble earlier this spring at The Clubhouse comedy club. I blinded half the audience, sure, but that's the price you pay for fashion.Buy tickets now.
By: Bamboo Nation
A Zefrontastic and Crabalicious Birthday
2007-08-29 18:01:00 My birthday began at 5:30 AM yesterday, the call time for Laundromat. My favorite part of the film shoot, of course, was whenever the make-up guy would come and apply powders and potions to make me more beautiful than I already am. (Um, why did everybody on set laugh when I said that?)Then, it was off to a showing of Hairspray, where I went to get my "Zefr-on." (Holy shit, I just coined a new term! More uses: "I have to get the new High School Musical CD so I can get my Zefr-on!"; "you should buy the new Rolling Stone magazine and get your Zefr-on!"). This short clip shows you just how Zefrontastic the movie is:Zefron's character falls in love with the film's plus-size heroine. The obvious message of the movie, of course, is one of hope and inspiration. If Tracy Turnblad can get Zefron, then anybody can get Zefron. Or, to re-frame it another way, Zefron will do anyone, which gives me enough hope to last a lifetime.Okay, so we all know how mesmerizing Zefron is in Hairspray, but, s...
By: Bamboo Nation
Zefron Stalks P-Gom
2007-08-29 17:40:00 Not only did your birthday fan mail make me laugh so so much (my heartfelt thanks, everyone!), but Zac Efron is now so so jealous of me that he has taken drastic measures to be more like me. He's bought glasses just like mine, dyed his hair black and styled it just like mine, and has been squinting his eyes more to make them look Asian just like mine.Thanks to the amazing Geoff (who, along with Amy, rule Massachusetts) for submitting this startling new pic of Zefron, which shows you how he has been obsessing about me to the point of becoming me. I only have this to say to you, Zefron: "You don't know me, you don't know me!"
By: Bamboo Nation
Obligatory "HSM2" Update: "Your Mom Must Have Dropped You on Your Head"
2007-08-27 08:46:00 I listen to music mostly through my Rhapsody service, which streams just about any album I want through my computer for a modest monthly fee. But some albums just aren't available because of licensing issues, so you have to buy them if you want to hear them. Such is the case with the High School Musical 2 soundtrack. Although I so deeply desire to sing and dance in my underwear to these songs, I am unable to pull the trigger and spend the $8.99. So I'm listening to the 30-second samples that Rhapsody makes available over and over again in the hope that that will be enough to send me into a Zefrontastic frenzy.I mean, how can I spend even a penny on a company that inspires tween fanaticism and rage, as demonstrated by the latest comments on my infamous guest blog, High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay (errors included):if u didnt like it who cares nobody gives a crap what u think so why dont u do us all a favor and take ur negativity and shove it up ur ass. OMG. WHOEVER YOU AR...
By: Bamboo Nation
Super Smut
2007-08-26 19:48:00 The reason Superbad so deeply resonates with me is because I know what it's like to be that horny all the time. I mean, the movie is basically a mirror of my typical day.Superbad is very very funny. And I'm not likely to see a film with more consistent laughs than this for a very long time. Unless my sister ever decides to make a movie.
By: Bamboo Nation
Unsung Movies: "Not One Less"
2007-08-26 00:21:00 A school in a remote Chinese village is so poor that they have to ration the chalk. And, unable to find a substitute teacher willing to spend a month in a rural area, they hire a 13-year-old girl who's barely older than the students under her tutelage. She's not the best teacher?she is just a child herself, after all.But when one of her students, the 8-year-old class troublemaker, is sent to the big city to work, she and the kids become determined to bring him back. Her mission is motivated not by a streak of altruism, but, rather, she wants to ensure that she gets paid at the end of the month. She was told that, by the time her month of teaching is up, all her students must still be in school?not one less.Her plucky determination in the big city is at once naive and admirable, as she morphs from a peasant girl with little street smarts into a young woman who seems to carry the burden of the nation's poor on her shoulders.Yimou Zhang's appropriately titled 1999 masterpiece, Not ...
By: Bamboo Nation
Scott Heim Has a Nice Shirt
2007-08-25 16:31:00 In anticipation of the 2008 release of Scott Heim's new novel, We Disappear, Harper Perennial just posted a video clip of Scott picking questions out of a bowl and answering them. Very postmodern, Scott! It's an adorable clip, and I want his shirt:A beautiful excerpt from the novel, which is about a mother and son obsessed with missing persons, is available on his website. I think he's really at the peak of his talent here?just marvel at that measured, graceful, haunting, and poetic language. Aren't you proud of me? I read a whole five pages from a novel!If you have not yet heard my podcast episode that features Scott, then head on over to iTunes or click here to listen.
By: Bamboo Nation
Kill, Dexter, Kill
2007-08-25 15:53:00 The first season of Dexter, a morbidly funny and occasionally gory Showtime series, was just released on DVD this week. The show's hero, played with an expert blend of creepiness and charm by Michael C. Hall, is your typical Miami Police forensics analyst by day and serial killer by night. But even murderers have a code of conduct, so Dexter only tortures and kills those people who he thinks really deserve it?pedophiles and other criminals who have wiggled their way out of jail. Despite his iciness, it's hard not to root for him?but not in a traditional, manipulative revenge movie sort of way. You see, he may delight in his dirty deeds, but he doesn't respect himself in the morning.Sure, there may be way too many flashbacks that try to explain his behavior, and there's one episode where the writing takes a shocking nosedive, but on the whole the first 12 episodes of Dexter serve up moral ambiguity and dark dark comedy in a neat little crime drama package.
By: Bamboo Nation
Nick Lowe Gets Terry Gross All Hot and Bothered
2007-08-25 09:17:00 Several weeks ago, Entertainment Weekly published a terrific interview with Nick Lowe, whose new At My Age album is surely winning him a legion of new fans, due to its irresistible hooks and inviting sound. I haven't been able to find the article online until now because the EW site's search engine sucks.After you're done with that article, listen to Terry Gross's Fresh Air podcast with Nick Lowe (also available for free on iTunes), who chats and plays some songs from his new album. (Thanks for calling me about this, Donovan!) Aside from being an entertaining talk and performance, it's amusing to hear Terry seem to get all hot and bothered by Mr. Lowe. She showers him with compliments and fawns over him like a tween at a High School Musical ice show. It's really cute when smart people exhibit lust.Then, go to his website to check out tour dates. I'm seeing him at Safari Sam's in Los Angeles on October 2, 2007, so you should come with. He's playing elsewhere as well, and it ...
By: Bamboo Nation
Send My Ass to Vegas
2007-08-25 08:03:00 As you know, Asians love gambling. My uncle could've fed a small Third World country with all the money he's lost at the race track. But I suppose watching ponies run in circles brings him joy, so I suppose it's worth it.Anyway, if I win an award for Best Humor Blog or "The Blogitzer," which is given for best writing ability, from the Blogger's Choice Awards, then I will go to PostieCon Vegas to collect my winnings, which, from what I can tell from their site, is nothing. But imagine the entertaining entries I will be able to post about a freaking blogging conference in Vegas. The potential is thrilling to think about.Also, I will also be able to spend my non-winnings on poker, where I am sure to win lots of cash because I am so so inscrutable. Just look at my eyes!So vote for me twice, here and here. I aim to get at least 100 votes by Monday. If I don't, I will shoot this puppy. (Damn, that joke doesn't work without visual aids.)
By: Bamboo Nation
Mr. Bean Beats Me Into Submission
2007-08-25 03:26:00 "The Nacho Libre Effect" is a phrase I coined to describe comedy movies that start out questionable in quality, but are so determined and focused in their singular vision that they eventually beat you into submission and you end up laughing a lot and giving in to them.So it goes with Mr. Bean's Holiday. It's made primarily for children even younger than the target audience for the High School Musicals, so it took me a while to re-frame the way I was watching it. But once things snapped into place, I had a dandy afternoon.Mr. Bean definitely is not for everyone, and some of the time he's not even for me, but I do thoroughly admire Rowan Atkinson's dedication to the art of physical comedy. (He's equally adept at verbal gymnastics in the hit-and-miss Black Adder series.)One of my favorite Rowan Atkinson anything, however, is Rowan Atkinson Live, a comedy concert performance that hurls one great sketch at you after another. The "No One Called Jones" bit is shockingly simple but eff...
By: Bamboo Nation
Black Comedy
2007-08-25 00:37:00 "Black Cinema Review" is a video clip bursting with deadpan brilliance. Created by two guys named Bashir and Diallo over on their Long Live the Message blog, they speak in-depth about the director's cut of Soul Plane, as well as other movies that you won't believe actually exist. But they do?look the titles up on IMDB to marvel at the absurdity of real life.
By: Bamboo Nation
Obligatory "HSM2" Update: "Prince, Make It End"
2007-08-24 19:21:00 In reference to all the absurdity surrounding High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay, which just keeps on going, Loren said to me this morning, "Prince, make it end."But I can't. I don't have that much power. The "controversy" keeps popping up on other people's blogs, showed up on The National Ledger site, and, perhaps most bizarrely, was referenced on a discussion thread on Divorcebusting.com?it starts on the fourth post on the page I linked and continues onto the next page.As for the continuing comments thread over on QueerSighted, I wanted to pull some more "best of's" for you, but I stopped reading them somewhere in the low 1,000s. So I went to the last posted comment and started working my way back. Here's what I found (errors included):OMIGOD!!! High school musical is SO NOT GAY!!!!! i get so super mad when people like YOU say it is! i dont understand why you would go out of your way to offend so many HSM fans and say such hurtful things about the cast. ZAC EFRON IS NOT...
By: Bamboo Nation
Shower Me With Compliments All Morning Long
2007-08-24 19:02:00 The production of Laundromat, a film by Edward Gunawan and David Gil, is looking for extras on Tuesday, August 28, 2007, between 5:30AM and 11:30AM. I'm not sure what the extras call time is, and I don't know if you can come part of the morning, but e-mail me if you're interested and I will put you in touch with the filmmakers. You can pretend to do laundry in a short movie that's going to be submitted into festivals, including Sundance. And you can also shower me with compliments all morning long. But compliments, as we all have learned, are highly subjective.I think they're also looking for a boom operator, so let me know if you can hold on tight to a long pole.
By: Bamboo Nation
"You Play the Perfect Little Faggot"
2007-08-24 18:41:00 Last night we were rehearsing Laundromat, the short film I'm in, at the location we'll actually be shooting at. We ran our lines and blocked out scenes while patrons did their laundry and tried to ignore us.Halfway through the evening, a big guy in a wheelchair rolled up to me politely and said, "You play the perfect little faggot!"We all kind of froze, unsure of how to respond. After all, he meant that as a compliment.What I wanted to say back was, "You play the perfect fat homophobic crippled bastard." ...But Thai people are a kind and gentle people. So I said, "Thank you," and he rolled away.I actually have no additional commentary about this. Just: This is America.
By: Bamboo Nation
Obligatory "HSM2" Update: Taking Absurdity to New Levels
2007-08-23 20:53:00 My unwittingly "controversial" post, High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay, over on AOL's QueerSighted blog is propelling absurdity to new, delightful, and frightening extremes:1.) It has drawn more than 1,600 comments (so far) from mostly angry tweenyboppers, teenagers, and parents, making it one of the most responded to posts in the history of the blogosphere and redefining the term "the decline of Western civilization."2.) It was re-posted on a bunch of kids' MySpace pages; reported about on USA Today's entertainment blog, as well as other blogs; drew 200+ comments on LiveJournal's Ohnotheydidn't community board; and got picked up by Fark.com, where they've got their own little discussion going on.3.) It was talked about and quoted from this morning on the Kevin & Bean show on KROQ in Los Angeles (thanks for the tip, Bread and Bread).4.) It caused the traffic on my own blog, BAMBOO NATION, to increase by more than 2000 percent, and, although most of those visitors will n...
By: Bamboo Nation
Most People Don't Know How to Give Feedback to Writers
2007-08-23 17:30:00 Works-in-progress are sacred ground. And in the past I have taken enough writing workshops myself to know that people piss on that ground all the time. I mean, have any of you ever taken a fiction class? I don't think I've ever encountered more self-hating artists with a thirst for blood anywhere else. The Brutal Writing Workshop has been parodied in enough films for me to know that it's a common phenomenon.As explained in my recent post, one of the greatest challenges that writers face is finishing what they started. Many will cite lack of time as the number one factor that keeps them from getting to the end, but I actually think it's the internal critic that is the most problematic. When it comes to working on first drafts, self-criticism leads to self-defeat. And in a group of your supposed peers, the wrong kind of feedback compounds the problem. If you are full of self-doubt about your work, others tend to pick up on that and see it as an invitation to kick your literary ass...
By: Bamboo Nation
Ben Harper Is Not Ben Lee
2007-08-23 03:02:00 Robert, do not call me up in the morning to tell me that Ben Lee is going to be on KCRW because I will get very excited and shower just so that I will be fresh and clean for the broadcast and my entire day will be ruined when I turn on the radio and it is actually Ben Harper and my heart sinks and my day is ruined. Ben Harper is not Ben Lee....is not...
By: Bamboo Nation
Zefron: Simified!
2007-08-23 01:58:00 If you saw High School Musical 2 or the Zac Efron "Bet on It" clip that I posted earlier, then this following video is one of the funniest things you'll see this month. In a creative act of sheer and utter brilliance, someone named Kiana over on YouTube created a Sims version of the the "Bet on It" musical number, with sharp parodic precision. The pointing in his hand! The golf club dance! The fey reflection! The slo-mo skipping! Fantastic. Someone get this girl a job in Hollywood!
By: Bamboo Nation
Two Stalkers Are Better Than One
2007-08-22 17:03:00 Armed with little more than a first name, a location radius, and an Internet connection, you can easily find out everything you could possibly want to know about people you don't know. Remember the hot actor/models who work at my local Blockbuster? Well, I discovered not one, not two, but three?count 'em, three?MySpace pages belonging to three of those actor/models/Blockbuster employees. (Stalker much?) Not only did I discover fascinating biographical information, I also got to see video footage that they posted and, oh, shirtless photos that they just wanted to share with the public.A few weeks ago at a dinner party at my apartment, these MySpace pages were a focal point for the evening's entertainment. Diablo Cody (who is now doing startlingly in-depth reviews of gum on her blog) was shocked at how easy it was to find out intimate details about these hot actor/models and was perhaps a little titillated, because she wanted to tag along with me when I was assigned with renting a ...
By: Bamboo Nation
Obligatory "HSM2" Update: "I'm Going to Shove My School's Flag Pole Up Your
2007-08-22 04:10:00 My post about the gayness of High School Musical 2 has now drawn nearly 1,300 mostly angry comments, which, judging from a cursory Internet search, makes it one of the most commented blog entries ever posted by anybody on any site. I am not kidding. Please find me other blog entries with this many responses because, in order for me to sleep well tonight, I need to know that there are at least a few other topics that are more important to the planet Earth than High School Musical 2.I've only skimmed the comments into the early 1000s, so I can't really post a comprehensive "best of" list here. But I will give you one gem that some guy put up earlier today:when i figure out where you live i'm going to shove my school's flag pole up your ass!!Since I haven't really posted a real response to the nasty comments, people have been wondering if I'm offended by them or enjoying them. Well, I'm having the time of my life and marvelling at how absurd it all is, although it is cutting int...
By: Bamboo Nation
Dutch Watch: The Finnish Give the Dutch a Run for Their Money
2007-08-21 21:23:00 It's sad to think that I will perhaps never ever create anything as unwittingly brilliant as this 1979 cover version of "Y.M.C.A.," sung by a Finnish dude in a garish exercise outfit. You may be horrified and want to turn it off, but at least wait for the amazing back-up dancers who come on 49 seconds into this clip:
By: Bamboo Nation
Two Coreys for the Price of One
2007-08-21 18:15:00 I haven't been watching the A&E "reality" series, The Two Coreys, which follows the lives of BFFs Corey Feldman and Corey Haim, but I heard about the scene where Corey Feldman tells Corey Haim that they're not going to be in The Lost Boys sequel and Corey Haim bursts into tears. The clip is even more fantastic than I imagined:My favorite line: "Ninja Turtles. When they did the sequel without me, do you know how much that hurt?"Well, what a difference a good cry can make. It has just been announced that the only original cast members (so far) who will be in Lost Boys 2: Tribe will be not one but two?count 'em?two Coreys!Showing your true emotions cleanses your soul and helps to make you dreams come true.
By: Bamboo Nation
Obligatory "HSM2" Update
2007-08-21 18:02:00 As if leaving nearly 600 comments to my QueerSighted guest column, High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay, weren't enough, they (you know who "they" are) have now migrated over to BAMBOO NATION to continue the discussion on this post. Jesus Christ, did any of the Presidential debates last this long? I mean, yeah, that Zac Efron is a hot piece of ass, but, man, is he really worth all this?
By: Bamboo Nation
Jeff Greenwald Is Just Asking to Be Identity Thieved
2007-08-21 17:28:00 When travel writer Jeff Greenwald came to see me in JUKEBOX STORIES last year in Berkeley, he felt such a connection to my performance that he wanted me to keep in touch. Out of business cards, he handed me a deposit slip that he had torn out of his checkbook and added a "dot com" after his name so that I would be able to track him down later.What man in his right mind hands a complete stranger?an inscrutable Asian, no less!?a piece of paper with his bank's routing number and account number on it? Jeff Greenwald is just asking to be identity thieved. If I were some computer hacker genius (instead of just a mere Renaissance genius), I would have depleted his account just to teach him a lesson and spent all that money on art supplies for my Zac Efron collage.Anyway, since my many novelist friends guilt me about not reading their novels (I'm working on it!), I was relieved that Jeff wrote nonfiction. I started reading Scratching the Surface, a book of travel essays, and what I've re...
By: Bamboo Nation
"U'll Get Ur Ass Kicked"
2007-08-20 23:56:00 I've only skimmed through about 300 comments to my guest column, High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay, over on the AOL's QueerSighted blog, but it looks like the hits keep on coming. Here are a few more gems, some of which accuse me of ruining the lives of innocent children: you know what! i think that whoever wrote this has no life! because your a grown butt man and ur watching disney channel.... it is a kids movie. its not aimed at dumb pervs like you!ps-don't call us tweenyboopers. or u'll get ur ass kicked by a bunch of tweenyboopers. so shut the hell up.omg! how dare you say such cruel things about this movie! yes you have freedom of speech but it doesn't mean that you have to write something so mean online you have no idea how many little hearts your breaking just because YOU didnt like it... if you didnt like it then that's your problem. not others! when my little sister read this article she was heartbroken and now she won't even come out of her room! thanks a...
By: Bamboo Nation
If You Make It to the Whole Singing-to-His-Own-Reflection Part, Then You Ar
2007-08-20 23:44:00 To Mad's Mad World: You have basically admitted that Zac Efron had you from the first flick of his pretty hair. Well, here's more fabulousness to fuel your perversion— a video clip of the musical number "Bet on It," the one where he dances on the sand dramatically like a David Copperfield special from the 80s. It's enough to make grown women swoon, and straight men a little bi-curious:High School Musical 2 - Bet On It
By: Bamboo Nation
"This Article Makes Me Want to Punch You in the Face"
2007-08-20 19:34:00 I have written scripts that have tackled racism, race relations, homophobia, hate crimes, childhood abuse, and many more potentially explosive subjects, but none seem to have drawn the kind of controversy and ire as my column, High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay, which was posted this morning on AOL's QueerSighted blog.Apparently, America's teens (as well as some wayward adults) have trouble detecting irony and humor. As of this post, the column has already drawn more than 130 mostly angry comments, many of which are unwitting comic gems. A few fine examples (errors included) that I am just reveling in:this article makes me want to punch you in the face.... go fuck yourself.TO try to define this children's movie as an iconic piece of "gay culture" is a bit on the perverted side. the person who wrote this then u suck and u are gay!!!!Why is a grown man watching Disney channel??? Your that pathetic that you don't have a life???? ...Get A LIFE!!!!! JerkAnd if you're fantas...
By: Bamboo Nation
The "High School Musical" Post to End All "High School Musical" Posts (You
2007-08-20 17:20:00 Zac Efron must get a lot of ass. If starring in the most watched program ever on basic cable, namely High School Musical 2, doesn't guarantee you an endless supply of hot casual sex, then nothing will. The Disney Channel's Friday night premiere of HSM2 broke all kinds of ratings records, and the phenomenon carries so much weight that AOL's QueerSighted blog asked me to write a guest column dissecting the utter gayness of HSM2. So head on over there to read my disturbingly in-depth review, appropriately titled High School Musical 2: Chock Full of Gay. And since this will be my last HSM-related post in a while, you can go back to respecting me in the morning.[Ed. Note: Comments are turned off for this entry on this blog. Please leave your comments over on QueerSighted, where my post is courting an unexpected amount of controversy?I'm not kidding. From what I can tell, mostly preteen girls are super pissed. And their fury is perhaps even funnier than my column.]
By: Bamboo Nation
Waking Up at the Crack of Ass
2007-08-20 02:17:00 A location has been secured for Laundromat, the short film that I'm going to be in. The place is downstairs from a boxing studio where they pound the crap out of each other rather loudly, so about a week from now we have to start filming at 5:30AM to avoid the noisy daytime hours. I haven't been up that early since the 80s, but it's all in the name of cinematic stardom. (Stardom equals celebrity sex equals the reason I am in this business.)The movie is funny and moving and completely legit, but I think I'm going to ask for a fluffer anyway. I mean, sure, they don't need me to be erect, but they need me to be awake, don't they?
By: Bamboo Nation
Filipinos Have a Very Special Relationship to the Art of Song
2007-08-19 02:29:00 Don't you love it when straight Filipino-American teenage boys who are too straight and too old to dance and lip-sync to High School Musical actually roll camera and tape themselves dancing and lip-syncing to High School Musical? Filipinos love this kind of shit (musicals, karaoke, etc.), so that must explain this video of them doing a duet of "Breaking Free," with one guy Zac Efron-ing it up and the other guy taking on the Vanessa Anne Hudgens part with surprising gusto. Thanks to Mad Megan for finding this clip for us:Breaking FreeTheir lack of irony is almost frightening.
By: Bamboo Nation
Now THAT'S Dedication
2007-08-18 17:46:00 Despite what you may think, I am not nearly fucked-up enough to have attended the much talked about (on this blog anyway) High School Musical 2 Friday Night Premiere Party. Instead, I watched the movie in my apartment in the comfort of my underwear.I am not quite yet ready to blog about HSM2. It's utter genius still clings to me like a layer of ash after just escaping a burning building, and I want to have it all to myself for a while. Once I publicly share the experience, it loses its magic. I want to hold on to this for a bit.In the meantime, you'll have to visit what is surely either one of the most brilliant or one of the most disturbing sites on the Internet: the Zac Efron Please Stop Tanning blog. Yes, it's a blog that is solely and obsessively "dedicated to Zac Efron and his tan face." The fact that there are more than three entries (there are actually 20 by my latest count) shows you that dedication is an understatement.Check out the Pigment Manifesto in the right-hand co...
By: Bamboo Nation
Dutch Watch: Hooked!
2007-08-17 21:17:00 A 13-year-old boy who was fishing in the North Sea in the Netherlands reeled in a Dutch diver, whose lip got caught by the boy's hook. The hook had to be removed by a doctor.I see this as a clear act of malice on the boy's part, and I advocate for him to be fined, jailed, and sentenced to death. As I have demonstrated time and again, the Dutch are the chosen people, and any act of violence against them is an act of violence against all of humanity.
By: Bamboo Nation
They Give Pot a Good Name
2007-08-17 20:22:00 If you're like me, you laughed your ass off at Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, so what a delight it is to discover the new trailer for Harold & Kumar 2, which is some funny-ass shit and wins mad props for the return of Neil Patrick Harris:By the way, John Cho also stars in a film called See This Movie with Seth Meyers that I just saw, and it's hilarious. (Who knew Seth Meyers was such a damn good actor?) On DVD now, it's about a couple guys whose movie, through a funny set of circumstances, is accepted into a film festival. The only problem is they don't actually have a movie, so they have to make one in three weeks.I now worship costume designers Debra LeClair and Jennifer Levy because every new outfit that Seth Meyers was in I wanted to have. When they inevitably Google themselves and find me, they should know that they should come to my house and dress me.
By: Bamboo Nation
Dropping Names Like Lead Weights
2007-08-17 19:18:00 Because Loren was in Kansas City, Missouri, bodyguarding a print of Diablo Cody's movie, Juno (the task is not as exciting as it may sound), she took me instead to the King of Kong after-party, which was held at Big Wang's, a sort of indie Hooters. I love the fact that some guy somewhere thought to himself, "That Hooters is an evil corporation! It's time for the little guy to make it in the titty-and-hot-wings business!"Vince Vaughn, who was holding court with laughing girls that he surely wanted to screw, is as tall as a cell phone tower, and my phone actually did get better reception around him. Diablo's writerly friend, Dana Fox, wanted to introduce us to him so that we would have something concrete for our "spank bank," a term that Diablo uses and a term that is now a part of my daily vocabulary. Alas, we didn't get a chance to meet him because there were too many laughing girls (whores!), but Vince did accidentally elbow Diablo in the tit, which is way better than an intro...
By: Bamboo Nation
Wall-to-Wall Nerds
2007-08-17 11:06:00 The King of Kong, a new documentary that opens this weekend, features so many nerds that I thought my glasses were going to snap in half just by watching the movie. The film explores the intense and bitter rivalry between the two greatest Donkey Kong players in the world, who are vying for a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. Yes, I said Donkey Kong. I feel like a nerd just for typing those words, and you feel like a nerd for knowing what I'm talking about.If you're from the Pac-Man/Frogger/Joust/Q*bert generation, you know that this movie's study of video game culture will satisfy your inner geek. But even if you scoff at arcade games, you will be unable to resist this classic tale of good versus evil, obsession, competition, and communities. The film also explores the subjective definitions of family and heroism with hilarity and, surprisingly, lots of heart.Indeed, when the movie ended and its Donkey Kong champion appeared at the screening that I was fortunate enough...
By: Bamboo Nation
Music Alert: Smashing Televisions, Scottish Funk, and Guys in Eyeliner
2007-08-17 01:34:00 It's time to introduce you to some cool songs that you might have not yet heard because, if I don't do it, who the hell will?The Oakland-based pop-punk quartet, The Matches, aim for a different sound than it's used to, a string section and all, in a nifty little ditty called "Salty Eyes." The music video, which Boomer Nothing described in my very first podcast episode, features a bunch of television sets getting smashed, a sort of postmodern "Subterranean Homesick Blues":Paolo Nutini is an odd name for a Scotsman, and the fact that he revels in a blend of funk, soul, and rock is even odder. "Jenny, Don't Be Hasty" is funkadelic:Finally, guys in San Pedro aren't afraid to wear eyeliner. Jack Anthony and his band serve up the catchy "Averill Park" and bring the middlecore look of pop-punk to Orange County:
By: Bamboo Nation
Charlie Rose Enters the 21st Century
2007-08-16 20:27:00 I know that Charlie Rose's hair always looks a little unwashed, but the man sure knows how to give a great interview. He seems to know everything, and, unlike Bill O'Reilly, he actually does.So how fantastic is it that after a year of having Internet monkeys toil away, Charlie Rose now has an astounding new website (brought to my attention by Parabasis), where you can access more than 4,000 hours worth of interviews?Now somebody get that man some conditioner.
By: Bamboo Nation
Ben Lee Wants to Party
2007-08-16 10:13:00 You don't want to know the humiliating details of what I had to do to get my hands on an advanced copy of Ben Lee's new album, Ripe, a month before its release date. Just know that I am willing to risk venereal disease and jail time to keep you properly informed and to keep me a self-professed fanboy. I had a CD listening party in my apartment tonight, and, since I was the only person in attendance, I was able to dance around in my Paul Frank underwear.Ripe is stunning. If Lee's Awake Is the New Sleep (one of my favorite albums of all time, released in 2005) is an introspective and emotionally layered musical journey filled with spiritually literate indie pop songs, then Ripe is an effervescent, unabashedly fun, and genuinely rocking collection of music that is Lee's most accessible album to date and also his most shamelessly joyful. Clearly, Ben Lee wants to party, and you'd be a sucker not to accept the invitation.While the songs on Awake show musical range and explore diffe...
By: Bamboo Nation
One of Us, One of Us, Facebook, Facebook, One of Us, One of Us!
2007-08-16 07:05:00 PRINCE: Should I join Facebook?LOREN: Yes. Immediately.PRINCE: Why?LOREN: ...?So I have. And I don't know why.
By: Bamboo Nation
What Have I Done in the Name of Ben Lee?
2007-08-16 04:10:00 Holy crap! Through an amazing set of circumstances and because I blew all the right people, I am now in possession of an advanced copy of the new Ben Lee album, Ripe, a month before it's supposed to be released. My jaw hurts and my throat is sore, but all will be well when I play the music.If only you could be so lucky. Instead, you have to settle for the first music video off the new album, "Love Me Like the World Is Ending", which features one hell of a water balloon fight but is curiously absent naked skateboarders.
By: Bamboo Nation
Subscription Service Activated
2007-08-16 03:30:00 I know that some of you are unable to surf the Internet as much as you want at work or you try to avoid the Web as much as possible for whatever crazy personal reason. "The Internet contributes to the mechanization of society," I hear you cry. "I would much rather curl up with a Victorian novel or work on my scrapbook or spend time in my knitting circle." To which I respond with a laugh and a sneer. If George Orwell was so damn smart, then why is he dead?!But all this doesn't mean you can't stay connected to my always fascinating blog anyway. I have just added a new feature (look in the left-hand column) in which you can receive a daily digest of new blog entries delivered to your inbox every morning. This service is completely separate from the Prince Gomolvilas Mailing List and JUKEBOX STORIES Mailing List, which some of you are already a part of, so sign up anew for the BAMBOO NATION Daily Digest.Some of you have told me, however, that your company's firewall blocks out e-mail...
By: Bamboo Nation
I Am Not Marvin the Martian
2007-08-15 20:19:00 My first job ever was working in the men's underwear department at J.C. Penney. At a mere 16-years-old, the job did perhaps hold some kind cosmic significance that I was not aware of at the time. Looking back now, of course, I can say, "Oh, that's why I love stroking briefs!"My coworker David used to always make fun of me, but for different reasons. "You remind me of Marvin the Martian!" he would taunt over and over again. I failed to see the connection between me and that weird-ass Looney Tunes cartoon character, but David insisted that Marvin's personality, especially his desire to destroy Earth, was similar to mine.Over the years, the fact that some guy kept calling me Marvin the Martian got morphed and reinterpreted, and, through a series of circumstances that I don't quite understand today, people got to thinking that I loved Marvin the Martian and that he was my favorite cartoon character of all time.Now, I don't have anything against Marvin the Martian, but he was in act...
By: Bamboo Nation
Okay, Okay, ONE More, and That's It!
2007-08-15 08:16:00 When, oh, when will it ever end?!If you go to my first entry ever on Neil LaBute, some guy named Ian just posted more commentary on LaBute's controversial Los Angeles Times article. And this time, the commentary falls squarely in LaBute's defense. Anyone out there want to respond to Ian (especially since he seems to want to pick a fight with you)?I have plenty of thoughts for Ian myself, but, as you know, I cannot spend another moment thinking about Neil LaBute. My mind is preoccupied with other things....
By: Bamboo Nation
Okay, Okay, ONE More, and That's It!
2007-08-15 08:16:00 When, oh, when will it ever end?!If you go to my first entry ever on Neil LaBute, some guy named Ian just posted more commentary on LaBute's controversial Los Angeles Times article. And this time, the commentary falls squarely in LaBute's defense. Anyone out there want to respond to Ian (especially since he seems to want to pick a fight with you)?I have plenty of thoughts for Ian myself, but, as you know, I cannot spend another moment thinking about Neil LaBute. My mind is preoccupied with other things....
By: Bamboo Nation
Can This PLEASE Be the Last Entry About Neil LaBute?
2007-08-15 06:58:00 After learning about my interest in his play, David Robson e-mailed me his one-act, Killing Neil LaBute, and it's hilarious.Theater folk, take note. Produce this, or, at the very least, get your hands on a copy. (If you contact David, he'll probably send one to you too, especially if you pretend to be halfway important.)The 15-minute piece tells the story of what happens when a guy posts a book review of one of Neil LaBute's plays on Amazon.com. The review declares, "How about a rewrite, Neil. Dig a little deeper and stop relying on the 'surprise' ending to make it all work. You're becoming the M. Night Shymalan of plays, without the cool special effects." LaBute (who has a real-life reputation of responding to his critics, be they on blogs or on Amazon) is enraged by the review, and decides to go after its author and to maybe?just maybe?kill him. The ending is priceless, and seems to pose the question: What's worse?reading a bad Neil LaBute play or getting shot in the head?I...
By: Bamboo Nation
Can This PLEASE Be the Last Entry About Neil LaBute?
2007-08-15 06:58:00 After learning about my interest in his play, David Robson e-mailed me his one-act, Killing Neil LaBute, and it's hilarious.Theater folk, take note. Produce this, or, at the very least, get your hands on a copy. (If you contact David, he'll probably send one to you too, especially if you pretend to be halfway important.)The 15-minute piece tells the story of what happens when a guy posts a book review of one of Neil LaBute's plays on Amazon.com. The review declares, "How about a rewrite, Neil. Dig a little deeper and stop relying on the 'surprise' ending to make it all work. You're becoming the M. Night Shymalan of plays, without the cool special effects." LaBute (who has a real-life reputation of responding to his critics, be they on blogs or on Amazon) is enraged by the review, and decides to go after its author and to maybe?just maybe?kill him. The ending is priceless, and seems to pose the question: What's worse?reading a bad Neil LaBute play or getting shot in the head?I...
By: Bamboo Nation
Finishing What You Started
2007-08-15 06:43:00 Moose in the Kitchen recently brought up the following writing issue:If you post about how to, you know, finish a piece of writing, or even just finish a second draft, I will REVERE you. (I've been reading your blog long enough to know you have a hard time turning down reverence, i.e., just long enough to know how to manipulate you shamelessly.)A girl who properly uses "i.e." (as opposed to "e.g.") is a girl after my heart or, at the very least, my attention. So here we go....We live in a society of exchange. And the way things operate (whether they should operate that way is irrelevant) has been burned into our psyche since birth. When you work, you receive something in return. Most of the time it's money. Some of the time it's food, drugs, or sex. (I mean, who hasn't received a blow job after doing some yard work?) Simply put, when we work, we expect to get paid in some way, shape, or form. If there's no tangible return, it saps our motivation and we lose our sense of purpo...
By: Bamboo Nation
|
|
 |
|
 |
