Obama Black Face
2009-09-22 10:28:00 Are you a white wannabe neocon afraid of losing voters, or a tool controlled by the Federal Reserve? If so, do we have the answer for you! Obama Black Face! Call 1-800-BOMB-SWAT now! Supply is limited. Purchase your Obama Black face today and keep the African-American population and the guilty feeling white American population hoodwinked for another 3 ...
By: Turd on a Stick
Seven former CIA heads are better than one
2009-09-21 03:16:00 Amidst accusations that the CIA brutalized, tortured and mistreated terror suspects in its custody, count them, seven former CIA chiefs have come out to try and stop US Attorney General Eric Holder’s attempt to probe these accusations. Former CIA head, William Webster who served from 1987 to 1991, stated, “do you know who you are fucking ...
By: Turd on a Stick
Dr. Death: Henry Kissinger
2009-08-27 13:20:00 By popular demand, we give you America’s favorite Nazi: Henry Kissinger. Now, we can only hope that this fucker gets tried for war crimes!
By: Turd on a Stick
Hey ladies, free oral sex!
2009-01-18 05:35:00 For all you ladies out there who are just not satisfied, we here at TOAS are offering free oral sex provided by non other than George Kistner, a man whose favorite things is to give women head. If you don’t believe us check out George’s own words: I am a man whose favorite thing to do ...
By: Turd on a Stick
Muntadar al-Zaidi, 2008 Man of the Year
2008-12-15 06:13:00 We here at Turd on a Stick are jealous of Muntadar al-Zaidi. Our only wish is that he could have connected with one of those shoes. Kudos!
By: Turd on a Stick
Dane Cook Needs To Pick Up His Dog Turds
2008-04-07 14:51:00 DANE Cook isn?t only despised by other comedians and the public in general, he?s now hated by his Los An geles neighbors. Cook is at war with the owners of the West Hollywood apartment complex where he lives for not picking up after his dog, Beast. ?Neither he nor his girl friend pick up after ...
You Lucky B@$Turds !!!
2008-02-15 00:21:00 That’s Jordan at an event promoting her book… And Wishing You Happy Valentine’s day in her style !!!
By: Megan Fox Blog
The kids are huffing turds
2007-11-29 11:18:00 Forget about huffing gas or downing some cough syrup. There is an even cheaper and browner way for kids to get high. As one U.S. TV station proclaimed, this “Dirty New Drug Threatens Youth,” and another TV station stated that this “pretty horrific new drug [is] becoming more and more popular in schools ...
By: Turd on a Stick
Old People Are Irritating Turds, No?
2007-11-23 10:03:00 What's really wrong with people. Are they just rude, inconsiderate or just self-centered. I was on the bus to school earlier and came a guy (in his mid 60s) who sat next to me. He uses his cell phone and speak with his loud voice (he thought he's in his own world where nobody are listening) that could turn the bus upside down. Although I have tried to block my ears (trying not to make it obvious), the voice could still be heard. Just imagine how fucking loud it was. I was heckuva mad. If I have the authority, I will arrest him and kill him for god damn sure.Now, when is it acceptable to use a cell phone? That's really a difficult question. Especially because the answers can differ widely depending on who is responding to them. For example, if you are the person who is being annoyed by the fact that another person is talking on the phone, inside a restaurant blah blah blah, you'll probably say that it is not polite of him/her to use the phone in such a public place where people g...
Rabbit Turds on My Plate
2007-11-14 15:15:00 Good Morning! Plain ceramic white mug this morning... btw. The other morning I had a bran muffin with my coffee. I hadn't made it, this is one my daughter brought me home after work the night before. I love bran muffins but this one had raisins in it. I don't like raisins. But I ate the muffin thankfully and just picked out each raisin as I came to it. I enjoyed the muffin tremendously
Bone Turds-n-Harmony
2007-11-03 07:28:00 Graced with a quick, sometimes sung delivery, Bone Turds-N-Harmony burst out of the Midwest in the mid-’90s with a pair of massive hits, “Turdish Ruggish Bone” and “Tha Turdroads,”along with a great album, Turd 1999 Eternal, and then quickly unraveled. Now the group is back together after the release of their greatest hits, Turd Stories. ...
By: Turd on a Stick
iShat it
2007-11-01 10:15:00 In an effort for us to become lazier, do more drugs and have massive cocaine parties with strippers and whores, Turd on a Stick is giving you, our loyal readers (all 42 of you), a chance to write for our illustrious turd. If you see, read or witness something that makes you think that is ...
By: Turd on a Stick
New Indiana Jones movie ?Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Turds?
2007-09-11 13:45:00 NEW YORK (AP) — The title of the new “Indiana Jones” movie, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Harrison Ford, has been revealed. “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Turds” will be in theaters May 22, 2008. The title of the long-awaited fourth installment of the adventure series was announced by Shia LaBeouf, who co-stars with ...
By: Turd on a Stick
So long and thanks for all the cats
2007-09-10 16:34:00 If I could speak cat. I’d say “That’s my fucking pseudonym cat. Fuck off and get your own. Stupid furball.”Next thing you know it’ll have it’s own blog. Probably more popular than TOAS. I can’t wait until they find out that posting video of your cat gives You Tube rights to perform market research on ...
By: Turd on a Stick
This is my cat, keep watching, keep watching, Turd Furgeson plays fetch
2007-09-10 15:53:00 Pretty disturbing… Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
Thank You Mircoshit
2007-08-11 11:54:00 We would like to take this time to thank any visitor who visits our page using Microsoft Internet Explorer. In an attempt to get Turd on a Stick more Internet Explorer compliant, we have been under going an overall and maintenance of our layout, in order to give the same turdy appearance to both our Firefox ...
By: Turd on a Stick
The Oak Ridge Turds
2007-07-28 08:50:00 Is that the cast of Full House sans the Olsen Twins? Now appearing at a second rate casino near you: The Oak Ridge Turds! ”I’ll Be True to You” “Come on In” “You’re the One.” Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
FRIDAY SQUIRT TURDS
2007-07-20 22:00:00 Same day birthdays, what a coincidence! -- ICYDK Is Amy Winehouse trying to kill her career? -- CELEBRITYSMACK Johnny Depp might get married! -- INO Maggie Gyllenhaal replaces Kate Moss -- DLISTED Shia LeBeouf has tattoos -- PEREZ Pete Doherty & breakfast food -- ASL Jamie Lynn Spears eating ice cream -- SKINNYWEBSITE Rihanna's got some cool shoes! -- JJ Lindsay turns herself in finally -- EB Britney swims in her underwear -- HR Cute pregnant chicks -- POPSUGAR
By: Hollywood Cracks
The Most Expensive Turds in the Universe!
2007-07-09 14:57:00 No fooling! NASA just bought a toilet system for $19,000,000! That means there will be turds in space worth more than a four bedroom home. So hey, all you miserable Americans moping around because you don’t have any access to health care, rejoice! Astraunauts can drink their own urine while floating in space and it’s yummy. Now isn’t ...
By: Turd on a Stick
?Wiki How? let me down again
2007-06-27 07:22:00 I can’t tell you how excited i was when i saw this headline in my RSS thing: How to Make Bowls out of Vinyl Records Don’t get excited it’s not what you think. Well it might be if you want to toss a salad. No not that but… Here’s the How to’s that I’d like to see: How to ...
By: Turd on a Stick
SQUIRT TURDS
2007-06-20 19:46:00 Liv Tyler wants plastic surgery . . . for what??? -- ALLIE IS WIREDAvril wants to act . . . . what??? -- PEREZ HILTONBritney's still drinking . . . when did we think she wasn't? -- A SOCIALITE'S LIFEParis may have screwed Jack Osbourne . . . she coulda waited til he was hot -- DLISTEDRachel Bilson because she's frickin cute -- POPSUGARThe OC's Kelly Rowan gettin hitched to a rich guy -- ICYDKNude Sting . . . beware, very disturbing -- THE EVIL BEETKenny Rogers was hot up until about '97, now he just looks like a deformed pear -- CELEBRITY SMACK
By: Hollywood Cracks
Turds found in Capitol, but no ?blossoms? in sight
2007-06-16 14:25:00 Anthony @ 13:25 BST RAW STORY Published: Friday June 15, 2007 According to a Capitol Hill newspaper, police are unable to solve the mystery of the “caca caper.” “Usually, if a turd gets into the Senate, it?s because he or she was elected,” Emily Heil reports for Roll Call. “But on Wednesday, several large piles of actual, nonmetaphorical ‘No. ...
By: Suzie-Q
India to Take Over the Friendly Skies, Huh?
2007-05-10 11:37:00 DEHLI – India is now the fastest growing aviation market in the world. A rapidly expanding economy, incredibly cheap fares and bullish new airlines are all driving the growth. Plus, hundreds of new aircraft are being ordered and airports like Delhi are planning to handle up to 100 million passengers a year, more than any airport in ...
By: Turd on a Stick
How to Be Rich and Have Everything You Ever Wanted
2007-05-07 07:42:00 Tired of being poor? Tired of being behind in your bills? Tired of being at the bottom of US hegemony? Well look no further! Simply, apply the 7 keys to prosperity and these powerful spiritual truths and begin turning your dreams into reality today! Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
Nine Inch Turds
2007-05-05 07:43:00 What else can you say beside Turd Reznor. Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
Take Back Your Heart
2007-05-05 04:03:00 Why do women always date jerks, players and dangerously wrong guys? Well look no further ladies: all of us men are assholes! Furthermore, Kiki at takebackyourheart.com has a list of 18 character traits of us assholes and a severe chip on her shoulder! PERSONALITY TRAITS: 1. SUPERFICIAL CHARM — the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick. Not ...
By: Turd on a Stick
Jesus? Last Words
2007-04-30 08:56:00 JERUSALEM — Archaeologists have uncovered a new found scripture, which documents Jesus’ last words. Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
Hootie and the Turdfish
2007-04-30 08:21:00 We know it is an easy target, but it has to be done. Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
The Lizard Turd
2007-04-25 12:45:00 Come on, touch me babe. Can’t you see that I am not afraid? What was that promise you made? Trying to set the night on fire. What a fucking poet! Jim Morrison: The Lizard Turd! Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
Academic Breaks Unwritten Rule
2007-04-25 07:45:00 SYDNEY - A leading academic in the field of discourse analysis has broken an unwritten rule of English: using the words Kylie and poetry in the same sentence. During a recent lecture Associate Professor Brian Paltridge recounted an experience of his watching a Kylie Minogue concert video and said “to us, watching Kylie perform is ...
By: Turd on a Stick
Turd Tesh
2007-04-22 02:16:00 Just when you thought that we couldn’t get any browner… Bookmark to:
By: Turd on a Stick
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