The Men's Gift Guide

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(Malin + Goetz) Acne Treatment
2008-03-26 09:20:00
This is totally ridiculous but, the other day when I went to wash my face I discovered . . . a ZIT. Man, haven’t I been through enough? Not an ingrown hair, but an actual geeky, oily, embarrassing BUMP on my face! Where did this thing come from? I mean, I’m old. I’m ...
More About: Acne , Gift Ideas , Treatment , Malin , Goetz

Around the World Beer Bucket
2008-03-25 09:03:00
You’re probably wondering what I did for Saint Patrick’s Day. Oh, I got crazy, I’ll tell you. I sat around with my kids, painting shamrocks, drinking root beer in frosted mugs. It was kinda fun. The only drunken fool at our house was the cat with his catnip toy. I can do ...
More About: World , Gift Ideas , Beer , Around the world , The World

Mini Business Card File Cabinet
2008-03-24 09:37:00
You would think, in this day and age, that the business card would be so mid-century. I mean, we’re doing surgery with lasers, if you’re willing to pay, you can fly from New York to Paris in a few hours. So why are we still collecting these perfectly geometrical dust mites? I get about ...
More About: Business , Card , Gift Ideas , File , Mini

Jonas Damon?s LED Alarm Clock
2008-03-21 09:19:00
I got so ticked off this week. The IT “specialist” at work was freaked out that the office clocks were off by one minute, so he took it upon himself to change the phone clocks. He ended up knocking out the phones and the clocks to the office for FIVE HOURS. He didn’t just ...
More About: Clock , Gift Ideas , Alarm , Alarm Clock , Damon

Morph Pad
2008-03-20 09:13:00
So, I am forced to attend those Brown Bag Lunches at work, where we talk about how fantastic our jobs are, and ridiculous conversations like oh my god, are the clocks one minute off? That’s crazy. I thought it was me! I thought I was going insane! Yeah, it’s a regular snooze fest. Here’s ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Morph

The Bartender?s Frozen Margarita Maker
2008-03-19 09:00:00
I am so ready for summer. I’m so ready to thaw out and get my drink on. A nice 12 oz. adult beverage is what’s I’m sayin’. Just the sound of the paper shredder at work makes my mouth water– it reminds me of my Frozen Margarita Maker , full of margarita mix and ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Bartender

iPod Docks for the Bathroom
2008-03-18 09:30:00
Okay, I know what you’re thinking. This guy wants to get down disco style in the toilet? GROSS. Whatever, man. I spend more time in my bathroom than Margot does in the Royal Tannenbaums. I have two kids– one who is potty training, and the other who likes to try to flush IMPOSSIBLE things ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Bathroom , Ipod

Sharper Image Flat Briefcase Umbrella
2008-03-17 09:37:00
It’s nearly officially spring. It gets warm, and the sky doesn’t know what to do, so it rains, and you never know when that’s going to happen. Fine. Go ahead, rain then. I just got used to unrelenting snow storms, and now it’s going to rain on me. I know, it’s not personal. ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Umbrella , Image , Sharper Image , Flat

Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap
2008-03-14 09:36:00
You know how I am in the morning. I’ve told you. Mad, confused, zombie wandering around looking for my lost youth. Maybe I left it in my other pants. Anyway, I found just the thing to get me going before I make it down stairs for that first cup of mocha– the Shower Shock Caffeinated ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Soap

SmartShopper Grocery List Assistant
2008-03-13 09:16:00
Loaf of bread, a potato and milk, and a stick of butter. You remember that from the old Sesame Street cartoon. Well, every time I go the grocery store, that’s the tape playing my head– this usually happens when I’ve lost the list, or I’ve forgotten the few emergency items my wife sent me ...
More About: Gift Ideas , List , Grocery , Assistant

iwavecube Personal Microwave
2008-03-12 09:07:00
OMG– an oven with a handle on it. Dang! This is like the discovery of FIRE. Like the first person to run a mile in four minutes. Or. . . Or . . . NAPOLEON crowning himself EMPEROR! He would have had one of these. Can you imagine the leader of France having to ...
More About: Personal , Gift Ideas , Microwave

The Million-Germ-Eliminating Travel Toothbrush Sanitizer
2008-03-11 09:55:00
Streptococcus is not a meeting of political bigwigs. Listeria is not a flower that blooms in spring. Germ s. GERMS, people! Think you’re afraid of super delegates? Try. . . superbugs. They are everywhere. Recently while on a business trip, I shared a room with a colleague. No biggie. We were upgraded to a huge ...
More About: Travel , Gift Ideas , Million

Personalized Beer For Dinner Tin Sign
2008-03-10 09:17:00
Remember back in the day when men were men? They wore suits and ties to exercise. Back then, working out meant pulling an all-nighter with your manly friends, in the handmade, basement bar of your house where no woman dare tread. Cigars, scotch and a coupla pin-ups on the wall. . . AHHHhhh, a ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Dinner , Beer , Sign

Campfire Companion Harmonica Set
2008-03-07 09:34:00
YEAH! I always wanted to be a hobo, a vagabond, a man ON THE ROAD, like Jack Kerouac finding adventure and loose women in every town, using my mouth harp and beatnik poetry to seduce them. Are you crazy? I got kids and a wife who would send out her assassin chick posse to hunt ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Harmonica , Companion

Mistral Sandalwood Bamboo Men?s Soap
2008-03-06 09:22:00
When I was in high school, our next door neighbour, Miss Kirby, was divorced, childless liberated woman of thirty-nine. That was completely unheard of at the time. She was totally like Bea Authur in Maude, and she was the talk of the neighbourhood. She liked going to check the mail in her crochet ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Bamboo , Soap , Sandalwood , Mistral

Hybrid GP Air Purifier
2008-03-05 09:55:00
Can I just vent for a minute? No, I mean I need AIR VENTS. I?m SO SICK of people in my office, coming to work sick. There’s a guy in processing who literally coughed up a report from last year’s audit. Seriously, my office is making me ill. People, STAY HOME when you think ...
More About: Hybrid , Gift Ideas

Sun Jar
2008-03-04 09:35:00
Now, I have been called a hillbilly. Well, if the shoe fits, get one more that don’t have a hole in it . . . And I’m not gonna lie– I like drinking out of a mason jar, better than any of the fancy glasses my wife and I got for our wedding. I see ...
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Vintage View Master Clock
2008-03-03 09:30:00
Awww man, come on. Don’t make me cry. View Master ? Now they’re shaped like animals and crap like that. Now they look like binoculars, which is a little creepy to me. But back then, the View Master was clunky and robotic. Sometimes it got stuck between images. I clicked through the pictures so many ...
More About: Clock , Gift Ideas , Vintage

LUMEN SHADOW OIL LAMPS
2008-02-29 09:50:00
The power went out the other night, it was so cold. Luckily we have a wood-burning stove to keep us warm. We all camped out in the living room — we set up tents and everything. I figured since we are snowed in and under attack by the White Witch from the Chronicles of ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Shadow

Custom Vans
2008-02-28 09:42:00
I used to be cool. A long time ago. Like in the 1980s. Atari and skate boards, I was so into the Beat, Aztec Camera, Split Endz and such, skinny ties, Elvis Costello, you know what I’m saying. Before I got Mod, I was in a Jethro Tull Cover Band. I know that’s sick, ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Custom

Emancipation Proclamation Tie
2008-02-27 09:39:00
The Emancipation Proclamation was drafted by Abraham Lincoln on January 1, 1863, calling for the end to slavery. We’ve come along way, baby, and we’ve got a long way to go. Today, the old 9 to 5 can feel like a life time of indentured servitude. Sometimes, when you’re spending the best hours of ...
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Sharper Image Bean Vac Coffee Canister
2008-02-26 09:25:00
I’m a pretty easy-going guy. I don’t really get mad, I mean, why sweat the small stuff, right? Life’s to short, let it roll off your back, and all that. There are few things that set me off. Really only two things: smarty-pants people going up the down escalator, and the smell of tainted ...
More About: Coffee , Gift Ideas , Bean , Image , Sharper Image

Renova Colored Toilet Paper
2008-02-25 09:10:00
Okay yall. . . I thought I’d seen it all. But obviously, I have never been to Milan. I am not an international playboy. My name is not Mazimillian Copper. I have never participated in the Gumball 3,000 race, through the twisted streets of Europe, partying like a trust fund baby waking up in ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Toilet Paper , Toilet , Paper

CAMERA CUFFLINKS
2008-02-22 09:12:00
Let’s face it– it’s nearly impossible to update the suit– coat, tie, pants, shirt, no matter how you look at it– you’re wearing a uniform with little variation on the theme. Loud, ridiculous ties are out of the question, and wing tips– that’s great, if you want to look like Duckie from Pretty in ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Camera , Cufflinks

Taste of Talking ? Salt and Pepper Shaker
2008-02-21 09:09:00
AMEN– the writer’s strike is over! I was getting desperate. I was willing to sit through another episode of Lipstick Jungle with my wife, just because it was new. No offense– it’s a good show, but dang– I just couldn’t get all jazzed about sassy ladies in Manhattan again. That’s what reruns of Sex ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Pepper , Talking , Taste , Salt

The Large Coverage Flat Panel Towel Warmer
2008-02-20 09:05:00
Go ahead. Roll your eyes. Who needs a towel warmer? I mean, how prissy is that you might ask, as you roll your eyes. Whatever, man. When my wet, pale behind comes stumbling out of the shower it’s like being thrust out of the womb again– it’s cold, and I’m crying my face off. Who wouldn’t want to be comforted by a crisp, dry and WARM towel? Think, Eastern Promises, Russian steam bath manly warm towel. I’m no Viggo Mortensen– but it’s hard not look manly in a well tucked, toasted towel– and the Large Coverage Flat Panel Towel Warmer’s got you covered. Think about it– unless you’re keeping the heat cranking in your house, your bath cloth never gets really dry. Before you can say sweet tart, the thing turns sour. And what about summer? Unless you can suck all the moisture out of the room, you know what you’re going to end up with– SOUR TOWEL. I would probably try to use the towel, you know just one mor...

The Dahon Cadenza P8
2008-02-19 09:50:00
Remember how I was going the gym for a while? Yeah, well, not so much. Sometimes the gym is like that long-lost uncle you’ve met once or twice, but you can’t be bothered to drive to the next county to see. Meanwhile, I’m having a little trouble with that top button on my ...
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Ion USB Turntable
2008-02-18 09:44:00
When I met my wife, I was a lot like Rob Gordon from the movie High Fidelity. I mean, not that I had problems with commitment, or a string of horrible breaks ups, I didn’t dream lucidly about Bruce Springsteen or whatever. But I had upwards of 2,000 records. I didn’t have a bed, ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Turntable

ON OFF MUG
2008-02-15 09:57:00
Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and the eyes just don’t line up with the holes. Useless. Completely useless. I can hardly form sentences, and once, I yawned for so long I caught my kids counting my lower row of teeth. Slow and methodically. . . and in Spanish. Did you know that ...
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William Henry Maestro Collection
2008-02-14 09:39:00
A new Indiana Jones movie comes out this summer! I saw Harrison Ford on the cover of Vanity Fair and I squealed right there in the book store. Can’t you hear Indie’s theme music playing in the back of your mind right now? I hear it every time I have to do something really ...
More About: Gift Ideas , Henry , Maestro , William