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Moises, You Salty Sonofabitch
2008-04-02 07:16:00
Moises Alou is either a liar, or a really mean guy. Five years later he reveals that he wouldn’t have caught the Steve Bartman ball!? Is he you serious? He couldn’t have said that right after the game? Or the week after? Or the year after? Or three years after? Alou clearly doesn’t understand how the normal psychology of human emotion and forgiveness works. Most likely, Alou would have caught the ball, and still believes he would have caught the ball. But now he’s decided it’s about time to help old boy Bartman out. Good for you Moises. I guess. Perhaps next week you’ll forgive the kid who took your lunch money in 2nd grade. As for Bartman, he probably wishes this whole thing would be left alone. He’s been vindicated—sort of—but now he also has to deal with everybody remembering who he is again. That’s not good. What is good is that Alou’s words have made it possible for Bartman to once again show his face and ...

The Nats Win!!
2008-04-01 07:56:00
Pretty good start for the Nats and their new stadium. Pretty, pretty, pretty, good. The second Ryan Zimmerman’s drive landed in the bleachers I could think of only one thing. The game was rigged. It was a set up. The Nationals winning their home opener on a walk-off home run by the face of the franchise? Nice try Bud Selig. I’m not falling for it. How much did the Braves get for agreeing to lay down? The other notable thing about Zimmerman’s home run (and Chipper Jones’ nearly identical blast earlier in the game) is how quickly and easily the balls flew out of the park. Both were hit on a line, and both just seemed to hover for the last 50 feet of their flights. Neither ball would have made it past the warning track in RFK. Unless Sunday night was a fluke, a lot of home runs are going to be hit in DC. My favorite part of the whole evening was hearing the local media, players, and Nationals personnel raving about the new stadium. It’s a nice sta...

Sweet Sixteen Ponderings
2008-03-28 08:19:00
—Foget Luc Richard Mba a Moute and Kevin Love, last night’s game made it clear the key to the UCLA defense is Darren Collison and Russell Westbrook. Once both of them got four fouls the Hilltoppers started scoring at will. It means either they’re both great defenders, or they were prevented from taking their usual liberties with hand-checking regulations. —How about that Xavier game? Thirteen lead changes in the last 10 minutes. Four more in overtime. Twenty-Three straight minutes of seemingly do-or-die possessions. This Xavier team has played more high intensity minutes than any team in the tournament. I was at their first round game against Georgia and the atmosphere was extremely tense for almost the entire 2nd half. Their 2nd round game was close throughout. And then you have this game. Who knows whether it will end up being good or bad for them. There is a chance it will lead to one of those “we can’t lose” mentalities and I t...
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Derrick Rose and Plush Velour Couches
2008-03-28 06:15:00
It’s official. The state of Tennessee does not want you gambling on the NCAA Tournament with furniture. Last December a Memphis furniture store held a promotion promising to repay customers for up to $1500 of furniture if Memphis won the National Championship. Not so fast… Attorney General Robert E. Cooper issued an opinion last week stating that it is illegal for a business to conduct a promotion that requires a purchase when that purchase is induced by speculation that a person may receive partial or full rebate, depending on a particular team winning the NCAA tournament. But wait, there’s more. The store now says Cooper approved the promotion before they went ahead with it. I predict in the end the only ones who get screwed are the consumers. Those poor, innocent people who just wanted something to tie the room together and were conned into spending extra in support of the Tigers.
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Confidence? Confidence? Don’t Talk About Confidence
2008-03-27 06:02:00
As Forrest Gump would say, sports and cliches go together like peas and carrots. Whether they come from a broadcaster, coach, or exceedingly glib journalist, you can’t be exposed to some athletic achievement or debacle without hearing a cliche. So you can imagine my excitement when Devils coach Brent Sutter passed up the opportunity to blame Andy Greene’s struggles on “confidence,” and instead offered a real explanation. “I’m not real big on that ‘confidence’ thing,” Sutter said.” ‘Why did a player not play well?’ Well, the first thing you always hear is about a lack of confidence. Maybe it’s a lack of other things, too…A lack of work ethic, maybe a lack of [practicing well], maybe a lack in other areas. He’s right. There are a few exceptions (pitchers without confidence in their fastball will nibble and walk more batters, quarterbacks with no confidence will be afraid to throw the ball do...
More About: Talk , Confidence

Taxation Without Representation
2008-03-26 06:31:00
Rivals.com is kind enough to have a page listing all of this year’s the high school basketball champions in every class in every state. It’s an extremely nice feature, but it has one problem. Nowhere is there a mention of the Washington D.C. City champions. Those champions are the Gonzaga Purple Eagles. They’re led by D.C. Player of the Year Max Kenyi (who will be playing basketball at Harvard next fall) and last month they beat Theodore Roosevelt to give coach Steve Turner his city first title. All I ask is that Rivals.com give them the same respect they give Carvel (the Delaware state champions) and everybody else.
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More Sean Singletary
2008-03-26 05:37:00
Here’s some streaming video of what I was talking about…
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The 2nd Best Finish of the NCAA Postseason
2008-03-25 06:37:00
What Sean Singletary did in last night’s NCAA post-season tournament game was worthy of being on every highlight show in the country—if it had only been in the NCAA tournament…or even the NIT. Instead in happened in the College Basketball Invitational. Old Dominion led Virginia by four with 35 seconds left when Singletary made two free throws to cut the lead in half. The Cavs fouled and Old Dominion made one of two. Singletary then calmly marched down court and banked in the game tying three. ODU held for the last shot, but as ther point guard attempted to get free Singletary picked his pocket and went the other way for the go-ahead three point play. It was an Anthony Atkinson-like performance. It was also a fitting exclamation point for a remarkable career which saw Singletary named first team all-ACC three straight years in a row. Singletary’s career probably didn’t end the way he envisioned (the CBI?), but he will leave with that one last u...
More About: Postseason , Finish

Reason #2,178 to Love Hockey
2008-03-24 08:07:00
The almost “goal of the year”…
More About: Love , Hockey , Reason

Don’t Forget to Thank Your MMOD Aliases
2008-03-20 06:43:00
Ulysses P. Winfield is one of the ten most important people in my life right now. Never heard of him? I don’t blame you. He doesn’t exist. Although that’s generally a major shortcoming, it didn’t stop good ol’ Ulysses from using his Gmail account to sign up for CBSsportsline’s March Madness on Demand. As it turns out, Ulysses and three of his exist-only-in-cyberspace friends (who all suspiciously share the shame IP address as me) have agreed to let me use their MMOD accounts. Their generosity will allow me to stream four tournament games on my computer at once. It’s a contribution that cannot go unrecognized, and before the tournament kicks off I encourage everybody out there to take a moment and thank their friends (or aliases) who make it possible for them to catch every single second of the tournament.

It’s Good to Be Cinderella
2008-03-20 00:32:00
When the NCAA tournament kicks off tomorrow there are two schools which stand to make a shitload of money. One is the big-time college basketball program that wins the title. The other is the small conference school which rises above all the others to become the tournament’s #1 lovable, never-say-die, faith-in-humanity-restoring underdog. So how much does a deep tournament run reward schools from one-bid conferences? Rober Baker, the director of George Mason’s Center for Sports Management, decided to find out. Baker’s research found that since Mason’s Final Four run: Admissions inquiries increased 350 percent Out-of-state applications increased 40 percent Total freshman applications increased 22 percent from the 2005-06 academic year Active alumni increased 25 percent, while online registration rose 52 percent GoMason.com (the official Athletics web site) page views increased 503 percent, while unique viewers increased 702 percent in March 2006 Men’s b...
More About: Cinderella , Good

The A-10 is Better Than the Big 10?
2008-03-17 17:28:00
That’s what the NCAA selection committee thinks. St. Joseph’s went 9-7 in the A-10, 21-12 overall. Their most impressive non-conference win came against Sienna. The only thing they had going for them was two wins against Xavier. Ohio State wen 10-8 in the Big 10, 19-13 overall. Their big non-conference wins came against Syracuse, Florida, and UMBC. They also beat Purdue and Michigan State. So which of these teams got into the tournament? St. Joseph’s of course. Now let’s move onto the big boys. Xavier finished 14-2 in the A-10, 27-6 overall. They didn’t make their conference tournament championship game. They’re big non-conference wins were against Indiana and Kansas State. Wisconsin finished 16-2 in the Big 10, 29-4 overall. They won their conference tournament. In addition to beating Texas, Wisconsin beat Indiana and Michigan State twice. Somehow, Wisconsin dropped to a #3 seed while the committed ignored Xavier’s conference tournam...

Hey Billy Crystal, Go Suck on a Lemon
2008-03-14 06:28:00
Yeah, that’s right. What makes you think you’re worthy of playing in an MLB spring training game? Why should you be able to play and not me? Who cares if you’re rich or famous. You can’t hit a baseball. That should be the prerequisite skill for hitting in a spring training game. There are guys out there who work their asses off (with and without the assistance of steroids) just to get a single Spring training at bat. Even if they never get past Double A, the ones who make it to spring training know that on some level they’ve arrived; nobody gets to where they are unless they have what it takes. Crystal ’s appearance cheapens all that. One of the great things about professional sports is that you can’t buy your way into a game. At least I thought it was. I miss the good old days when celebrities weren’t allowed on the field unless it was to participate in some terrible all-star event. I’m not scolding Crystal specifically. I shower insults on any celebrity ...
More About: Lemon , Suck , Billy

So it ain’t so Andy
2008-03-12 17:50:00
I am not going to call Andy Roddick unpatriotic. I think associating patriotism with your country during the Olympics lost its flair with the fall of Communism and subsequent raping of the “amateur” event by sponsors. Now, watching the Olympics means you have more allegiance to NBC and PowerAde than your home country. That being said, I am disappointed to hear that Roddick will not be representing our fine nation in Beijing in this summer. His reason for missing this year is the conflict the Olympics have with the Legg Mason Tennis Classic. Both take place over the same week in August. Andy, I understand this is the only event you consistently win (titles in 2001, 2005, and 2007). And I understand you are preparing for the U.S. Open (the only Grand Slam title you have ever won… way back in 2003). But you, the best American tennis player right now, are really going to skip Beijing for a tournament in D.C. which will feature absolutely no one of significance? Your warm ...

Pack Your Bags For Poland
2008-03-12 07:08:00
If I told you the “Polish Open” began yesterday, what image pops into your head? A sausage eating competition? A golf tournament on frozen, barren ground? A giant Catholic confession booth? Enough suspense. It’s a poker tournament. Yes, the European Poker Tour has made it to scenic Warsaw for the 2nd year in a row (and I’ve actually been to Warsaw, so when I say it’s scenic…well I’m still joking, but the city’s really not that ugly.) Anyway, it’s nice to see that people from around the world are gathering for a “sporting” event in Poland . It’s only a matter of time before Roger Goodell and David Stern are dying to showcase their brand of athletic entertainment in the old country. Hey, look at that. I got through the whole post without making a Holocaust joke. Good for me.
More About: Bags , Pack

Hibernation Time For Heat Fans
2008-03-11 07:32:00
It’s finally happened. Every single part of Dwyane Wades’ body is injured (according to WebMD.) Heat fans, the rest of the season will be ugly. I’m talking Shawn Marion-three pointer ugly. But there may be a light at the end-of the tunnel? The Heat will be the worst team in the NBA this year. With a little lottery luck and a few minor health miracles inside Wade’s body, they could enter next season with nucleus of Wade, Marion, and Michael Beasley. Considering that Beasley will make the biggest rookie impact since Tim Duncan, that ain’t to shabby. Throw in a dime-a-dozen center who can block shots and rebound (a Samuel Dalembert/Brendan Haywood type), and a point guard who can play defense and not turn the ball over, and the Heat have themselves a playoff contender. On the other hand, Miami could end up with Eric Gordon. He and Wade will fire 30 shots a game as the rest of the team stands around and watches their winning percentage drop below ....
More About: Fans , Time , Hibernation

The NBA Goes Old School
2008-03-07 16:24:00
Did anyone catch the shenanigans by the New Orleans Hornets team this last Wednesday night against the Hawks? After one of those mascots ripped the net during a botched trampoline-dunk and caused a 10-minute game delay, the Hornets provided some real entertainment to a delighted home crowd. Starting with a little dancing by rookie Julian Wright, the highlights continued with Jannero Pargo showing a well executed, behind-the-back, kick-the-ball-over-his-head pass. (Hey Professor, you taking notes for the 08’ AND 1 Tour?) Mike James then joined the show, with a Globetrotter-esque ball-spinning display. Even a 3 year old kid got involved, playing pass with Tyson Chandler near the bench. The NBA is having a renaissance year, with more style and new levels of competition. A couple of ideas for David Stern to consider in the off-season to help continue entertaining the fans: End of 1st Quarter – Half Court shot contest: Each teams picks five players to take a shot from half-court. I h...
More About: School , Old School

The NFL Says Goodbye to Brett
2008-03-07 06:39:00
Brett Favre has officially left the lucrative life of an NFL quarterback to take the poor and destitute life of an undercompensated NFL veteran. I’d like to take his retirement to lash out against one of my most hated practices. Official statements that contribute nothing to society. Here is Roger Goodell’s official statement on Favre’s retirement: Brett Favre will always be remembered as one of the greatest players and fiercest competitors in NFL history. His long list of accomplishments both on and off the field is remarkable. Brett’s talent, enthusiasm and love of the game helped him become the only player to earn three MVP awards and he was a vital part of bringing a Super Bowl championship back to Green Bay. It has been a joy and privilege for all of us to watch him play. We wish Brett, Deanna and their family all the best and hope he will stay connected to the game that he honored with his brilliant play for so many years. Yay. That just wasted 20 ...
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Top 5 Free Agent Signings (so far)
2008-03-06 17:29:00
Almost $800 million dollars have been spent in a whirlwind of a free-agent signing period. Teams have been re-signing and shaking up their lineups faster than McFadden’s 40 yard combine time. So here are the early big signings: 1. Ben Roethlisberger – Pittsburgh Steelers   (8 years - $102 million / $36 million guaranteed) Ok, this one is a no-brainer. Except for the hiccup of a season following his motorcycle accident, Roethlisberger has been one of the most consistent QBs in the league. If you do not count 2006, Roethlisberger’s QB rating has been 98.1, 98.6, and 104.1 each successive year. In those three seasons, he did not throw more than 11 interceptions in a season, and his TDs grew from 17 his first two season to 32 last year. Oh, and he won a Super Bowl his sophomore season. His salary is exactly what a top tier QB is worth in this league. The Steelers have guaranteed to be a threat in the AFC North for years to come. 2. Donte Stallworth – Cleveland Browns   (7 year...
More About: Agent , Free , Free Agent

5 Things I Look Forward to this Summer
2008-03-05 18:51:00
(Editor’s note: Please welcome our latest contributor…nospunzone!! He promises to write about things other than Braves baseball.) Well, it’s March, and you know what that means. Trying to research all those bubble and mid-level conference teams you haven’t even heard of so your March Madness bracket won’t suck as much this year? Staying up past midnight to see the latest in the ever exciting Western Conference NBA playoff race? No silly, its spring training in places such as Florida and Arizona. That’s right, opening day is less than a month away, and after all the monotony and drudgery that was the congressional hearings, here are the top five things to look forward to this 2008 MLB season: 1. Yanks v. Sox VXXVIIII How many years are we into this rivalry? Say what you want about media (over) exposure, but this is the best rivalry in all of professional sports. You can’t go two weeks, even in the off season, without adding a new chapter to the feud to end all ...
More About: Summer , Things , Forward

Larry Hughes Needs Media Training
2008-03-05 08:35:00
“They wanted me to sacrifice things so we could win.” That’s the money quote form Larry Hughes about his time with the Cavs. Coincidentally, it’s also how I felt about my little league baseball coach. Hughes’ most obvious deviation from standard athlete-speak is his declaration that it’s not worth sacrificing certain things to win. You know what, I’ll let that slide. What’s the point in winning if you’re not having fun? What’s alarming about the quote is that Hughes seems to have been unaware of Lebron James’ presence on the roster. He really didn’t expect to make sacrifices? He thought Lebron would be the one deferring to him? Hughes was obviously confused when he signed that $65 million contract. Now the only thing for him to be confused by is Joakim Noah’s locker room hygiene routines.
More About: Media , Training

Let the NFL Free Agent Madness Begin: Part II
2008-03-04 06:35:00
Turn on the television or open a newspaper and everybody agrees the big NFL free agent winners are the Jets and the Jaguars. Um…why? Let’s start with the Jaguars, who decided it was a good idea to give Drayton Florence $36 million. So what if last year he was arguably the 2nd or 3rd best cornerback on one of the worst pass defenses in the league. That’s no reason not to give him a $13 million signing bonus. (The Chargers defense did rank 14th in passing yards per game, but considering their unstoppable pass rush, the secondary was atrocious). Unfortunately, that wasn’t all the Jags did. The team decided the solution to its receiving woes was to give Jerry Porter $30 million (with $10 mil guaranteed). It didn’t seem to occur to them that they’re paying a guy who caught 45 passes over the last two years like a guy who caught 45 passes over the last 8 games. It also didn’t occur to the Jags that Porter is already 29 years old—the sa...
More About: Agent , Free , Part , Free Agent , Madness

Let the NFL Free Agent Madness Begin
2008-03-03 06:07:00
You’re Thomas Dimitroff, the new general manager of the Atlanta Falcons. Your team has holes at just about every position. The lone exception is running back, where you have an underrated backup and potential superstar in Jerious Norwood. So what do you do? You give $35 million to Michael Turner, the most overrated backup running back in the league. Apparently it slips your mind that Turner wasn’t even the 2nd best running back on his team last year. It also slips your mind that big money free agent running backs never make an impact. Do you even remember the last high-priced running back who turned out to be a good signing for his new team? Was it Edgerrin James? No. Dominic Rhodes? Ooops. It’s not Stephen Davis, Lamont Jordan, or Duce Staley either. You need to go back farther than that. Back to a time when the names Curtis Martin and Ricky Watters were at the top of everybody’s free agent list. So will Michael Turner save the Falcons? No. Will he...
More About: Agent , Free , Free Agent , Madness

Why Roger is Worse Than Barry
2008-02-29 19:04:00
Barry Bonds cheated. A lot. And although he didn’t come clean about it, he goal was never to put forth a river of lies. Bonds only needed to not go to prison, and to not have Major League Baseball suspend him or expunge his records. He lied to make sure he got those two things, but other than that he didn’t care if the entire American public thought he was a cheater. He understood the consequences of his actions and didn’t try to change them. Within that disconnected attitude was a certain kind of honesty; an acceptance of the punishment for his actions. You could even say that Bonds has done what most people would have done if they were in his situation (his 2007 situation, not his 2000-2005 situation). Clemens has been the complete opposite , and that’s what makes him such a jackass. It wasn’t enough for him to escape legal and disciplinary action. He needed to keep his legacy, regardless of whether or not he got that legacy cheating. And so Cleme...
More About: Barry

Troy Brown’s Big Day
2008-02-28 07:10:00
This may come as a shock to many of you, but apparently Troy Brown is famous enough to be the subject of a “celebrity roast”. Later today the former Marshall receiver will be honored at a roast in Huntington, just miles from the Marshall campus. Chad Pennington, Byron Leftwich, and Randy Moss are among the invited roast guests. I don’t know if this will function like the normal Comedy Central roasts, but if it does……oh boy. I picture the evening going a little something like this: PENNINGTON: It’s great to see Randy Moss. I guess he must have thought there was some kind of “Losing the Super Bowl” parade here tonight. Look at him sitting down over there. It’s weird to see him so lethargic somewhere other than a football field. MOSS: Thanks Chad. I’m impressed you’re even able to hold that drink with your right arm. That thing is flimsier than the rolling papers I currently have in my pocket. LEFTWICH: Uh oh. Ran...

Yao Ming’s Stress Fracture Conspiracy
2008-02-27 06:45:00
It’s Wednesday, and that means its time for another patented ShakedownSports conspiracy theory. Today’s topic: Yao Ming ’s broken foot. (prepare to have your mind blown) After leading the Rockets to 12 straight wins, the team suddenly announced that Yao will miss the rest of the season with stress fracture in his foot. That seems a little fishy. And doesn’t it seem even fishier that with the Beijing Olympics only five months away, doctors say the injury will take at least four months to heal. Here’s the theory. Yao had been playing with the stress fracture for a while. The team knew about it, but as long as Yao was willing to play through the pain they were willing to let him keep going. The hope was that he could play through the playoffs and then have surgery after the season. Unfortunately for the Rockets, the the Chinese government found out about the injury. A quick call was placed to David Stern in which China threatened to stop the pipeli...
More About: Stress , Conspiracy

There’s No Way This Will End Badly
2008-02-25 07:10:00
The University of New Mexico athletic department has a new sponsor—-Route 66 Casino Hotel. The five-year, $2.5 million deal means that Route 66 will be the “exclusive gaming sponsor for the Lobos athletic department.” This is great news. One of the hardest things for an athletic department to do is commit to just one gaming sponsor. Usually some of their people are more inclined to go to the racetrack and some are more inclined to spend their time in casinos. And what about the people who prefer more of an online experience? It can be impossible to find one sponsor who can provide all those things. That’s why it’s so great New Mexico found a gaming sponsor for everybody. It’s a momentous day for college athletics. Unfortunately, there are some crazies out there who think it’s inappropriate for casinos to sponsor college athletic departments. What these crazies need to do is break out of their archaic, irrationally conservative, anti-g...

The Weekly Shakedown
2008-02-22 20:04:00
(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at Shakedown Sports. These are just a few of them.) –Last Tuesday Kevin Durant was booed when he went home sick just before tip-off. Oh also, it was “Kevin Durant Bobblehead Night.” Durant then made things even worse when he later revealed he went to Oklahoma city to receive treatment. –On April 11th the Rocket will unveil a monument honoring Hakeem Olajuwon. Just one week later, in a much less publicized move, the Blazers will name a lower concourse restroom stall after Sam Bowie. –The NFL’s competition committee is discussing the possibility of giving one defensive player on each team a radio receiver in his helmet. I’m not so hot on the plan. Don’t Ray Lewis and Joey Porter already hear enough voices in their head? –Attention San Diego State fans: Your dark days are over. DirecTV has reached a deal with the Mountain West Conference to carry the confe...
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Magic Chinese Watercube
2008-02-22 09:09:00
This is China’s new Olympic swimming venue. As Borat says, “It is nice.” And by the way, we’re only 168 days away from the start of the Beijing Olympics—also known as the time when China’s genetically engineered HGHletes will shame America by winning gold medals in every single event. It should be a good time.
More About: Magic , Chinese

This and That…
2008-02-21 07:16:00
…Shaq looked pretty good in his Suns debut last night. And by “pretty good” I mean “not fat.” It was like 1995 inside his jersey. And keep in mind that this is only his first game. By the time the playoffs roll around he’ll be a dead ringer for Boris Diaw. Shaq wasn’t able to lead Phoenix to victory, but he did flash signs that he can be the defensive force the team needs. …Jason Kidd also made his debut last night. The results were inconclusive, but Dirk Nowitzki had a nice game, and that’s the most important thing—that Kidd can make him and MVP-type player again. …The Orioles can’t catch a break. It looks like Troy Patton (the key guy in the Miguel Tejada trade) might have a torn labrum. At least his past steroid use wasn’t documented in an official report. …I love Coby Karl—mostly because the guy went from walking on at Boise State to playing in the NBA with only minimal help from h...