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That Must Have Been Some Game
2007-12-14 16:08:00
Last week’s Lions-Cowboys game was so thrilling even Michael Vick decided to stop by.
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Bobby Petrino’s Scarlet Letter
2007-12-13 05:46:00
Bobby “My Contract Was In Dog Years” Petrino didn’t exactly leave the Falcons without telling his players. He was kind enough to write them a letter concerning the situation—a letter the Atlanta Journal Constitution had no problems getting their hands on. I’ve done even better. I have Petrino’s original draft of the letter, complete with corrections. Atlanta Falcons suckers players; Out of my personal assistant’s my respect for you, I am letting you know, with no testicles a heavy heart, I resigned today as the [insert title of job they’re paying you $25 million to do] Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons. This decision was extremely easy not easy but was made in the best interest of the Arkansas Razorbacks me and my LinkedIn profile family. While my desire would have been to leave immediately after Michael Vick was arrested finish out what has been a difficult season for us all, your unabashed hatred of me circumstances did not allow ...
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Dwight Howard’s Fancy New Home
2007-12-13 05:14:00
You know that extravagant new football stadium the Cowboys are building that’s going to blow away every single structure built in the history of mankind? The Orlando Magic (and Orlando Predators) are sort of doing the same thing with their new arena. Just take a look at the artist’s rendering. That is one impressive piece of concrete—and the inside is nice too. The 800,000-square-foot building, scheduled to open in 2010, would feature four restaurants and bars inside, along with restaurants and retail space accessible from the street when there are no games or events…It would have seven levels and four concourses. But perhaps the biggest difference between the new building and the Amway Arena would be the exterior. Where the current arena has an exterior made mostly of concrete, the new design incorporates a 20,000-square-foot, glass-front entryway facing Church Street and a 151-foot glass tower facing Interstate 4. Yep, there’s nothing quite like...
More About: Home , Dwight Howard , Howard , Dwight , Fancy

Poor Matt umm Boner is it?
2007-12-12 11:43:00
Life must be pretty easy backing up Tim Duncan. Not too much pressure or responsibility. Just come in, play your 15 minutes a game, go sit on the bench, and at the end of the season go get your championship ring. Seems simple enough….unless your name is Matt Bonner. I’m sure Matt was ridiculed a lot growing up for having a last name so close to the underrated word “boner”, so by now at age 27 he’s probably used to this sort of thing. Yes, you guessed it, Matt was mistakenly called Matt Boner in a photo caption. Specifically, the correction points out: ATTENTION EDITORS: Matt Bonner #15 of the San Antonio Spurs was incorrectly identified as Matt Boner within the captions of the following photos: GYI0051088925.jpg GYI0051088947.jpg GYI0051088955.jpg We apologize for any inconvenience. Corrected versions will follow. The fact that a retraction was issued has to be somewhat disconcerting for Matt. I mean how many people do you think really noticed ...
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The Wizards Accidentally Drafted Well
2007-12-12 09:10:00
There’s been an excitement to the Wizards this year that hasn’t been there in the past. I’ve been trying to put my finger on it for weeks, but I never could. Then it hit me. For the first time in twelve years it’s possible to be excited about the team’s recent draft picks. While fans of other teams often take their talented rookies for granted, Wizards fans have 14 reasons not to do that. Ronnie Henderson, Predrag Drobnjak , God Shammgod, Jahidi White, Calvin Booth, Richard Hamilton, Mike Smith, Kwame Brown, Juan Carlos Navarro, Rod Grizzard, Juan Dixon, Jared Jeffries, Steve Blake, Jarvis Hayes. Those are the Wizards’ 14 draft picks that followed Rasheed Wallace. Comedy aside, it’s not a very impressive list. Hamilton is the only above average player in the bunch, and he was traded before hitting his prime. At no time in their entire Wizards careers did any of the guys on the list show the ability the take over a game the way Andray B...

ESPN Screws Up
2007-12-12 08:14:00
Oh, those pesky ESPN.com polls. I always assumed nobody read them, and the guys who make the polls must have shared my opinion because an “inappropriate poll” made its way onto the site last week. Apparently it’s not acceptable to ask people if they want to see Kevin Garnett get injured. The question posted last week asked whether voters would want to see: • The Steelers beat the Patriots. • Twins star Johan Santana be traded to a team other than the Red Sox. • Kevin Garnett blow out his knee. The poll was taken down and this week the site issued an apology. I haven’t seen the apology, but it better be for not including “Tom Brady contracts seven STDs in one week” and “God tells Curt Schilling he hates him” as potential answers.
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ESPN Does Something Right, For a Change
2007-12-12 02:26:00
Nowadays it seems rather difficult to find anything of much significance coming out of Bristol worthy of considerable praise. This isn’t a bad start though…ESPN.com now has a college football playoff simulator. Using the top 16 teams from one of three polls, or you can even custom seed any of the top 25 teams, the simulator predicts the outcome of a college football playoff. Sure it is somewhat primitive, but considering we most likely won’t be seeing a college football playoff anytime soon, this is going to have to due. At least it could provide some non-LSU/Ohio State fans with some bragging rights, if you can construct a bracket in which your team ends up winning it all.
More About: Change , Some , Espn

Jeremy Shockey Wants YOU at his New Year’s Party…If You’
2007-12-11 06:03:00
It certainly has been a volatile season for the New York Giants, but somehow despite all of Eli Manning’s interceptions the G-men find themselves sitting pretty at 9-4 in the easy NFC. Considering how poorly some of the other big apple teams are playing, specifically the Jets and the Knicks, the Giants are currently the toast of the town. But maybe this whole 9-4 (wow how are they 9-4???) thing has gone straight to their heads, or at least that seems to be the case for Jeremy Shockey. Why’s that? Well Shockey has posted an open invite to his New Year ’s Eve Party to any woman who wants to attend, binding the approval of Shockey and presumably the other men in his posse. So how does this approval process work exactly? Shockey requires all willing ladies to “send one head and one body shot, as well as your name and contact info, to brunofierce@gmail.com.” There might be some stiff competition for this thing, cause you know the New York ladies are going to ...
More About: Jeremy Shockey

What Happened to Hawaii’s Tickets?
2007-12-11 05:46:00
Last week the University of Hawaii found out their football team was going to a BCS bowl for the first time in its history. It was an epic moment; something sure to attract the attention of an entire island and spur colossal demand for tickets. Unfortunately, the Sugar Bowl didn’t quite see it that way. Bowl officials reportedly told Hawaii they shouldn’t use their whole allotment of tickets. UH was originally contractually obligated to sell 17,500 tickets for its Sugar Bowl game against the University of Georgia. But UH athletic director Herman Frazier told The Advertiser that Sugar Bowl officials pressured him to take only 13,500 tickets on Saturday, before UH played its final regular season game against Washington. The extra 4,000 Sugar Bowl tickets were allocated to Georgia fans. Can you guess what happened next? I’ll give you a hint. Everything did not turn out all nice and rosy. In fact, the opposite happened. The high demand for Sugar Bowl tickets le...
More About: Tickets , Tick

Week 14 Monday Afternoon TPS Report
2007-12-10 10:14:00
Remember all the hubbub surrounding Gate D at Giants stadium? After a New York Times article revealed that during halftime of Jets games men gather to chant and harass women into showing their breasts, the city promised to put a stop to it. Well, it turns out that publicizing publicizing potential nudity in the country’s most famous newspaper wasn’t a good idea. During halftime of Sunday’s game Gate D had record crowds as all the fans from gates A,B, and C decided to show up in the hope of sneaking a peak at some Jet fan boob. They didn’t get what they were looking for. The interesting part is that the hopelessness of asking women to show their breasts is pretty similar to the hopelessness of being a Jets fan. Onward with the report… Don’t Miss… …Terence Newman sticking it to Jon Kitna. After the Cowboys came from behind to beat the Lions, Newman added insult to injury by proclaiming that God wanted the Cowboys to win. &ldqu...
More About: Report , Week , Afternoon , Monday

The Winter Meetings and Fantasy Baseball
2007-12-09 07:29:00
Here’s why the MLB winter meetings are an amazing event unique to the sports world: It’s the only time that any of the professional sports mimic a fantasy league. During the winter meetings 30 GMs continuously meet to talk about players and convince each other to accept one-sided trades. This year numerous GMs even filled the roles of token keeper league fantasy team owners. The first place guy who overvalues his role players and won’t trade them to win another championship—Theo Epstein Has Theo lost his mind? He really isn’t willing to give up both Jon Lester and Jacoby Ellsbury to get Johan Santana? He doesn’t think the best pitcher in baseball is worth a soft tossing lefty and speedy lead-off hitter—two types of players the minor leagues are overflowing with? I know he’s excited that Lester had a good September and Ellsbury played four good games in the playoffs, but those guys are as replaceable as middle relievers. Even th...
More About: Baseball , Winter , Fantasy , Fantasy Baseball , Meetings

The Weekly Shakedown
2007-12-07 21:16:00
(Every week there are a number of that stories slip through the cracks here at Shakedown Sports. Here are just a few of them.) –According to Forbes the Knicks are worth $604 million, making them the NBA’s most valuable franchise for the 3rd straight year. The team would have been worth more, but the possibility of angry fans burning down Madison Square Garden really decreased its value. –The Baseball Writers Association of America has decided that starting in 2013 writers will not be allowed to vote for players who have bonus clauses tied to awards in their contracts. The new rule will be a big boost to Julio Lugo’s 2013 campaign for A.L. MVP. –The Colts awarded Super Bowl rings to five fans who won a scavenger hunt and an ensuing raffle. Four of the rings were extras the team had lying around. The 5th was confiscated from Adam Vinatieri due to his poor play. –Chris Long (the son of Howie) won the Ted Hendrick’s award as the nation’...
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The Semi-Pro Trailer Has Arrived
2007-12-07 18:33:00
Enjoy…
More About: Trailer , Semi , Semi-Pro , Trail

Braves Give Bank the Naming Rights to Rich People
2007-12-06 10:01:00
Not every team wants to sell the naming right to an entire stadium—sometimes you end up looking like an idiot when the company screws it’s employees, is convicted of fraud, and goes bankrupt (it’s a shame that Minute Maid Park just doesn’t have the same ring as Enron Field). To circumvent this problem the Braves have come up with a solution. Sell the naming rights to part of your stadium. Atlanta-based SunTrust Bank has reached a deal to put its name on a new Turner Field seating section designed to appeal to the Braves’ more affluent fans. The new section, scheduled to be completed by the start of next season, will include 158 seats closer to the action than any others at Turner Field. The seats will come with such amenities as unlimited food and beverage, valet parking, a private stadium entrance and access to a 5,000-square-foot lounge being built adjacent to the Braves’ clubhouse. The seats also will come with a steep price tag: as much as $30...
More About: People , Rich , Rights , Give

Bart Scott = Super Pessimist
2007-12-06 07:03:00
Ravens linebacker Bart Scott finally revealed why he went bonkers and threw an official’s flag into the stands after the Patriots scored the go-ahead touchdown. He was just standing over Samari in an imposing fashion and was just going off on him,” Scott said. “At this point, the game was over with. … He was talking a lot of stuff about being a man. What does that mean? I said, ‘Have some integrity.’ … He’s the figure of justice out there. So why wouldn’t he be the bigger man and walk away? The part to focus on here is “At this point, the game was over with.” Oh really Bart? Was it? The Ravens got the ball back at their own 20 with 43 seconds left and one timeout. Sure, the offense had their work cut of for them, but just over 30 hours earlier the Bills had the ball at their own 27 with 35 seconds left and no timeouts. Their situation was much more dire than the Ravens’, but Trent Edwards still managed to ...
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You Know What’s Funny…
2007-12-06 06:54:00
The Dodgers just made a lazy fatty who hit .222 last season the 5th highest paid player in baseball. At least now Rafael Furcal doesn’t have to be self conscious about being the most overpaid player on the roster.
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Have You Been Monday Nighted?
2007-12-06 06:01:00
The latest work from the gents over at fantasyhumor.
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Your Biennial Tamir Goodman Update
2007-12-05 07:12:00
The “Jewish Jordan” (not me, the one officially recognized by the national media) is returning to American soil. Tamir Goodman has agreed to join the Maryland Nighthawks of the Premier Basketball League, and he will make his U.S. professional basketball debut when their season opens in January. Goodman’s excitement about the new job is prototypical of a man who’s been is the spotlight for too long. “I loved living and playing in Israel, but I’m thrilled to come home to Maryland and join the Nighthawks,” Goodman said. It’s nice Goodman’s so thrilled to be home—for six long years his adoring fans have been eagerly waiting for him to lead some kind of Maryland basketball team to the promised land (figuratively speaking of course). For the Nighthawks, Goodman’s shooting should help take away the sting of losing 7″9 center Sun Ming Ming to Mexico’s Liga Nacional de Baloncesto Profesional. However, the team...
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Winter Meetings: Day Deux
2007-12-05 06:11:00
Miguel Gets Cabrera Traded, Decides Not to Be a Fatty The Tigers pulled off the blockbuster move of the day, acquiring Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis for Andrew Miller, Cameron Maybin, and a slew of minor leaguers. I like the move for the Tigers because people still don’t realize how good Cabrera is. He’s had four seasons in which he’s averaged about 31 home runs, 115 RBIs, and a .320 batting avg.—-and he’s only 24 (and losing weight!!!). Scouts love Maybin and Miller, but that’s exactly the problem. They’re both toolsy guys and the drool coming from the mouths of scouts has prevented them for seeing that both are far from sure things. Entering 2008 Maybin has only played 30 games above class A, Miller has played 28, and both players struggled in the majors last year. Still, the key to the deal will be Willis. Over the last three years his BB/9 IP have gone from 2.1 to 3.4 to 3.8. A move to the American League will only make things more...
More About: Winter , Meetings , Winter meetings

Carlos Quentin is Deep
2007-12-04 07:45:00
New White Sox outfielder Carlo s Quentin doesn’t just have all five conventional baseball tools, he has a 6th tool—perspective. The above video aside, I love the deal for the White Sox. Anytime you can trade a guy in single A for a legitimate major league-ready outfield prospect, it’s a good deal.
More About: Deep

Steve Nash Has Got Milk
2007-12-04 06:45:00
America’s milk producers have finally gotten over their intense longstanding hatred of Canada. Proud Canadian Steve Nash is the latest athlete to sport a white ’stache in milk ads. We’ll have to see if they’re as successful as Nash’s “Got Blood” ads. Some other things that piqued my interest… –Penguins winger Maxime Talbot pulled a fast one on Toronto residents when he put on a Sidney Crosby sweater for Saturday’s open-to-the-public pre-game skate. Crosby never even took the ice, but fans thought they got to see him in action. As for Talbot, last night he returned from an injury and scored the Pens first goal. It’s gotta be the “87″ jersey. –Sorry Orlando sports fans, sports station 740 AM (the home of Central Florida Football!!) is switching its format over to any and all things Spanish. Viva los Caballeros!!!
More About: Milk , Steve Nash , Got Milk

Week 13 Monday Afternoon TPS Report
2007-12-03 08:16:00
One NFL Rule Change That Must Be Made The key moment in the Cowboys’ victory over the Packers was the questionable 42-yard pass interference penalty on Tramon Williams. It was play involving minimal contact, a tangle of feet, and an offensive player falling to the ground. Basically, it was the kind of play where a defensive player should not be penalized 40 yards. Unfortunately, there is no middle ground for officials. On that play the back judge was forced to make an all or nothing call, and the call he made was “all.” The solution is to let officials call illegal contact even after the ball is in the air. The league thinks it’s making it easier for officials with distinct illegal contact and pass interference rules, but in reality that just takes away an official’s ability to use his judgment. If a defensive back’s actions are not severe or intentional, let the officials penalize him accordingly with a 5 or 10 yard automatic first down penalty. ...
More About: Report , Week , Afternoon , Monday

The Weekly Shakedown
2007-11-30 19:11:00
(Every week there are a number of that stories slip through the cracks here at Shakedown Sports. Here are just a few of them.) –The Maloof brothers have donated $50,000 to the University of Hawaii football team’s booster club. The donation is just a small part of their ill-conceived plan to try and move the Hawaii football team to Las Vegas. –Police had to be called to a hockey game in Canada when a brawl broke out between the 8-year-old players. The fracas reportedly started when the coach of the team who had just lost 8-1 spat in the face of the opposing coach. Also, one of the players called somebody on the other team a “poopy-head.” –Tulsa filed a formal complaint with Conference USA over the Rice marching band’s halftime performance last Saturday. The band put on a show called the “Todd Graham’s Inferno” which depicted the current Tulsa and former Rice coach going through different circles of hell. Strangely, the b...
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Boris Becker Has a New Team
2007-11-29 07:19:00
Chris Moneymaker, Gregg Raymer, Daniel Negreanu, and…..Boris Becker ? Yeah that’s right. With his tennis days behind him the three-time Wimbledon champion has become the newest member of team PokerStars. Becker will begin playing in major European tournaments and he will appear in PokerStars commercials. Overall, he sounds really doggone excited about the whole thing. “When I was still playing professional tennis, I started learning to play poker casually in-between games because it helped me to improve my concentration,” said Becker: “Now I want to develop my poker skills and challenge myself to become really competitive at the highest levels in poker.” Becker and poker may sound like a strange match, but let’s face it, at this point the only thing keeping tennis going is heavy gambling on matches fixed by the mob. Well, that and Rafael Nadal’s nubile deltoids. The point is, gambling and tennis go together like Svetlana Kuznetsova...
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Welcome to the Comeback Tour
2007-11-28 22:58:00
  Michael Jordan, Roger Clemens, Mario Lemieux…now Mini Me. At first I was hesitant to position myself alongside such an elite class of sports figures who retired then made glamorous comebacks within their respective sports, but after reading Easy’s not at all embellished post about my superhuman abilities as a writer I think I’m worthy of being mentioned with those athletes. Regardless, I’m back and this time with a somewhat renewed appreciation for American sports, particularly because I have spent the past four months dwelling in London (unfortunately no John Amaechi sighting yet). And Easy, don’t worry I won’t allow you to relinquish any of your soccer talk responsibilities to me because frankly I have profoundly rejected the sport. I did enjoy the Rugby World Cup though, but that’s for another post for another time.   Easy has done a great job with the site and I’m glad to be a member of the Shake Down Sports team....
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The 2010 Olympics Have Some Furry Friends
2007-11-28 07:42:00
Throughout its long and storied history, the Olympics have had one constant—Every year the mascots get creepier and creepier. Yesterday the organizers of the 2010 Winter Games in Vancouver unveiled a trio of mascots, and at first glance they’re quite a group. Quatchi is a young sasquatch with a long brown beard and blue earmuffs, while Miga is a snowboarding sea-bear – part killer whale and part kermode bear. And Sumi is a spirit animal that flies with the wings of a native thunderbird. Look at those things. I don’t know what a spirit animal is, but I want it to stay as far away from me as possible. It looks like Yoggi Bear on crack. And since when can sea-bears snowboard? If you’re going to have a sea-bear at least give him a realistic profession—like data analyst. As for the sasquatch, he just looks like the illegitimate lovechild of Chewbacca and Harry from “Harry and the Hendersons.” The moral of the story? I’m excited for ...
More About: Friends , Furry , Some

Mini Me’s Triumphant Return to the Blogosphere
2007-11-28 07:31:00
For many months I’ve been going at it alone here at Shakedownsports, but that’s all about to change. My dear friend Mini Me (you may remember him as the founder of the WBRS Sports Blog) has been bitten by the blogging bug once again and his poetic and insightful words will soon grace the pages of this site. In the past the two of us have worked together to entertain the countless Waltham residents who were within a 1.7 mile radius of our college radio station, and we formed one of the most legendary Division III basketball broadcasting teams of all time. I’m confident that this most recent collaboration be even better (and lead to a dramatic increase is Dallas Mavericks talk—hence the Dirk collage.)
More About: Blogosphere , Return

Seattle’s “For Charity” Marathon
2007-11-28 06:16:00
Charity. What does it really mean it today’s society? How do you define it? For example, when the Seattle Marathon calls itself a benefit for the University of Washington Medical Center but donates exactly 0% of the $120 entrance fees, is it a charity event? It’s an interesting question. The race does donate the money that runners agree to give in addition to their entry fee, but last year that accounted for only 1% of the total revenue from the race. There’s also one other small discrepancy. The Web site also states prominently that the marathon “is organized and run by volunteers in the community.” While race organizers do rely on thousands of volunteers, the Seattle Marathon Association’s 2006 tax returns show that the association paid $330,000 in compensation to employees and organizers — triple the $110,000 it paid two years earlier. The truth is, this really isn’t such a big deal. The Medical Center still gets some money, and...
More About: Charity , Hari

A Coach With a Lot of Responsibility
2007-11-27 09:04:00
Steve Bruce had one wild weekend—even for a Premier League coach (those guys throw some crazy coke and stripper parties). Last Tuesday Bruce announced he was leaving Birmingham City in order to take over Wigan Atlantic. After a deal was reached between the two teams, Birmingham claimed Bruce still owed them about $500,000. As late as Thursday, both teams considered Bruce their coach. Alas, Bruce’s quest to win two games with two different teams on the same day never came to fruition. A deal was reached and Bruce was Wigan’s official manager by kickoff on Saturday. Bruce’s new team fared well in his debut, hanging with league-leading Arsenal before falling 2-0.  Meanwhile, his old team did not show they secretly hated him by playing an unbelievable game—they lost to Portsmouth 2-0.
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Avery Johnson Loses His Cool and His Cash
2007-11-27 06:00:00
There’s something about Avery Johnson going completely nuts that just warms my heart. The outburst will cost him $25,000.
More About: Cool , Cash