Throwing SmokeThrowing SmokeThrowing Smoke is a hard hitting, tongue in cheek take on current sports news. We say what you are thinking. When athletes mess up, we call them out on it. There is no free ride for anyone on Throwing Smoke
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Weekly Poll Results
2007-10-25 07:59:00 When Throwing Smoke readers were asked if expansion out of North America would work:- 44% said no way, the players can't handle all that travel- 33% thought the one game a year was good- 23% think only the NHL would work outside of this continent.Thanks to all of you who voted. Check out our new poll about what regular feature you have enjoyed about our website over the first year.Throwing Smoke - Bringing Real Justice since 2006. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Results , Poll , Weekly
Who're they doin'
2007-10-24 18:58:00 With baseball season almost over, there is no better time to post pictures of the wife of one of our favourite whipping-boys: Mike Piazza. He has been married to ex-playmate Alicia Rickter for two years. Gay rumours aside, he hit this one out of the park!Throwing Smoke - Bringing Real Justice since 2006. Smack is always on the menu, yo.
Williams Kobes someone
2007-10-24 08:47:00 Police announced last Thursday they were investigating allegations made by a woman in her 20's, who claimed she was sexually assaulted by Kings center Justin Williams at his home in the early morning hours of Oct. 12. According to law enforcement sources, the alleged victim said she met Williams and another woman at a party that night and ended up in Williams' North Natomas home. The woman told police that she had a drink at the house and felt woozy, and that Williams and his girlfriend then tried to have sex with her. Williams does not deny that he and his longtime girlfriend had sex with the woman who is accusing him of rape, but he said it was consensual, according to his lawyer.Charges aside, nothing says love like your girlfriend serving a barely conscious chick to you for a threesome. If Kobe's wife was this understanding she would have had a front row seat to watch her husband doing an anal whore. And probably Kobe would have been willing to pay more than the $4,000,000.... More About: Some , Iams
Superbowl Legend falls from grace
2007-10-24 06:17:00 Max McGee, the unexpected hero of the first Super Bowl died Saturday after falling from the roof of his home, police confirmed. He was 75. McGee was blowing leaves off the roof when he fell, according to news reports. Efforts to resuscitate McGee were unsuccessful.What an unfortunate way for a gridiron hero to die. Usually when I hear a story about an athlete dying that involves blowing and leaves, I assume the accident report involves driving drunk, a tree, and a road game bimbo wrapped around some wood.Throwing Smoke - Bringing Real Justice since 2006. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Grace , Superbowl , Legend , Falls
Arenas makes wagers
2007-03-27 14:27:00 Gilbert Arena s was admonished by the NBA for making bets with fans during the Washington Wizards' loss at Portland on Wednesday. Arenas made the bets as he bantered with fans throughout the Wizards' 100-98 loss. He was booed during pregame introductions and whenever he touched the ball because he had promised to score 50 points against the Trail Blazers. After the game, Arenas said he bet a fan $10 that he would make the winning basket. He missed badly -- throwing up a shot that fell short of the rim -- and finished with only 19 points. Arenas later elaborated on his nba.com blog, saying that he made $10 bets with two fans during the game and had obtained their e-mail addresses so that he could pay them off. The NBA since has removed the references to the bets from the blog.For a guard considered a poor man's Jordan, a $10 wager sounds about right. We all know the real MJ would have had 6-figures riding on the final shot. The NBA should consider itself lucky that it was Arenas an... More About: Make , Wager , Ager
Brady not a father
2007-03-27 14:17:00 Contrary to what was earlier reported, Us Weekly Magazine reported that Giselle Bundchen's has finally spoken out, denying reports that she's pregnant with boyfriend Tom Brady 's child. "It's crazy how people can make up these stories," the Victoria's Secret model complained on the Spanish TV show Corazon de Primavera. "I'm not pregnant and I'm not planning to be pregnant anytime soon. I have so many contracts to do, so many projects." Bundchen added that she feels she's too young to have a child. "It's just something I don't want now - it's something for the future," she said. "I'm 26 years old, for Christ's sake! Why would I have a baby now?"Well, there are a few lessons we can all learn as a society from this:1. Don't belive everything you read;2. Tom Brady is as good with a coathanger as he is with a football.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Father , Fath
Crickets can kill
2007-03-26 16:39:00 Pakistan's cricket coach Bob Woolmer, 58, was found unconscious in his blood- and vomit-splattered hotel room in Jamaica on Sunday, a day after his team's upset loss to Ireland on St. Patrick's Day sealed Pakistan's elimination from the cricket World Cup. He was later declared dead at a hospital. On Thursday, Police commissioner Lucius Thomas said in a statement that the pathologist report found Bob Woolmer's death was due to "asphyxia as a result of manual strangulation."Murder aside, you can't help but laugh at the irony here. Afterall, the coach was found choked after his team did the same. The only thing more ironic would be to see that flamer John Amaechi sponteneously combust at a book signing.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Cricket , Rick , Kill
Manning is a role model
2007-03-26 15:50:00 Peyton Mann ing hosted Saturday Night Live this past weekend. Knowing how hard it is to make the NFL, it was great to see Manning prividing some guidance to young children and showing them what it takes to play pro football. And by what it takes to play football, I mean get a rap sheet early so the Bengals invite you to their combine. Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Model , Role , Role Model
Poet's Corner
2007-03-25 03:49:00 The NBA has its gangsters,The NHL breeds their goons,The NFL likes their criminals,Baseball should choose soon.Sure they have some drunks,and some guys beat their wives,While others pay for blow jobs,An identidy the league should strive.Any pub is good pub,That is what they tell,Time to solve this problem,Where is Joey Albert Belle!Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Corn , Corner , Poet
La Russa is a drunk
2007-03-23 14:39:00 St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was arrested early Thursday and charged with misdemeanor DUI after he was found asleep at the wheel in his running SUV at a green light. La Russa's SUV was stopped at a light that, according to police, went through two cycles of green. A driver behind La Russa had to go around his vehicle, police said. Police found La Russa slumped over in the driver's seat of the running SUV. The manager of the world champion Cardinals had his foot on the brake and did not respond to knocks on the window, police said. He finally woke up and parked the car.The higher powers work in mysterious ways. A day after legendary boozer David Wells says he will give up drinking, La Russa is arrested for driving tanked. But if the drinking equilibrium is to be maintained in MLB, more drunken stupidness needs to be on the menu. What next? Will the cops find Mike Piazza passed out in the back seat of an SUV wearing a pre-op tranny?Throwing Smoke - we say what you want ... More About: Drunk
Stevens likes jail
2007-03-23 14:30:00 Jerramy Steve ns added to his long list of driving arrests when the former Seattle Seahawks tight end was arrested last week for driving under the influence and possession of marijuana. Steven s was taken into police custody after he admitted to drinking "four or five margaritas" at a bar in Scotsdale, Arizona. Stevens ’ rap sheet includes arrests for second and fourth degree assault, jail time for marijuana possession, sexual assault, various hit and runs, and driving with open champagne bottles in his vehicle. Can you blame someone for wanting to knee this punk in the nads?Look on the bright side; Stevens’ is trying to clean up his act. He’s owed some props, because at least this time he didn’t crash into the house of a 93 year old woman. If Stevens were smart, he better not sign with the Broncos. Those winding mountain roads are a bitch when you are double the legal limit.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Jail , Like
Porter hates Bengals
2007-03-22 18:27:00 Pacman’s been garnering most of the attention so far this NFL off-season, so it was good to see an old favourite back at it this week. Former Steelers bad-ass Joey Port er, who recently signed a deal to play with Miami next season, was charged with assault in Las Vegas over the weekend. Apparently he confronted Bengals lineman Levi Jones, who was playing blackjack inside a casino, and the two exchanged trash talk. The confrontation escalated when the two men went outside and began to brawl.Witnesses describe the brawl as “something out of Rocky”: “They must have each gotten in a good three or four swings. Then all of a sudden, the bigger guy who I found out later was Levi Jones, picked up Joey Porter and tossed him probably 10 feet like he was a rag doll.”People tried to break up the fight but "Joey Porter broke free and ran full sprint at Levi Jones and dove through the air at him like he was trying to tackle Ladanian Tomlinson. Took him down with a tackle, then the two of... More About: Hate , Hat
Don King likes the Pope
2007-03-22 14:08:00 Don King , wearing a blue suit with his preferred high hair style primly flattened for the papal event, gave the Pop e a green-and-gold boxing belt and a handwritten letter asking for prayers for people ranging from US President George Bush to the world's sick and aged. "I was thrilled to be there. It was a deep spiritual experience," King told The Associated Press after the two-hour open air audience in St Peter's Square.Considering King himself is a convicted murderer, hopefully he was smart enough to put his name on the list and slip the pope a hundy. Afterall, killing people and bilking uneducated minorities out of millions of dollars isn’t much different from what the plantation owners did 200 years ago. The only difference is that the southern slaves had the wherewithal to head to Canada. While most of King’s slaves remain in the US looking for beauty pageant contestants to rape. Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Pope , Like , Don King
Tank-you for the jail time
2007-03-21 15:05:00 Chicago Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson was sentenced last week to four months in jail for violating probation in a 2005 gun case. Johnson was arrested on misdemeanor weapons charges Dec. 14 after police raided his home in the Lake County town of Gurnee, about 40 miles northwest of Chicago, and found six unregistered firearms. Before he was sentenced Johnson pleaded with Cook County Circuit Judge John Moran for leniency. "Your honor, I don't believe I'm a man who belongs in jail," he said.Tank is 100% correct. Prison isn’t meant for parole violators who hoard weapons like they belong to the Michigan Militia. Afterall, packing heat is his constitutional right. Taking away a brother’s gat is like castrating Ron Mexico. A brother ain’t a brother if he doesn’t have a potent 8 inches in his pocket, ready to kill.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Time , Jail
Kerney sleeps well
2007-03-21 14:55:00 Atlanta police are investigating a rape that occurred at the home NFL defensive end Patrick Kerney. A woman who was staying at his home invited three men back to Kerney’s house for drinks. The woman is claiming to have fallen asleep on a sofa and later woke up in a bedroom to find one of the men raping her. Kerney claims he was home during the assault but that it happened while he was asleep.It can’t be easy to get a good night’s sleep when someone’s being raped in the adjacent room. It’s more likely that Kerney woke up and thought that he left his bukkake video in the DVD player. Or that or he was too busy enjoying himself while peeping through the hole in the wall. But either way, my guess is that it’s the last time he’ll go out partying with the Utah Jazz.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Sleep , Well
Tonya Harding loses it
2007-03-21 13:28:00 Clark County sheriff's deputies responded to two calls last Sunday involving Tony a Hard ing, who was described in police reports as "very agitated" and "tweaking out." S gt. Tim Bieber told The Oregonian that police received the first call at 4:56 a.m. According to a police report of the incident, Harding said four men and a woman tried to break into her car and steal it and were trying to stash rifles on the side of her property. Later the same morning, about 9 a.m., police received another call regarding Harding, this time from a friend who told authorities the skater was "tweaking out, seeing animals." Tanya told police she was on "new medication" and was experiencing an adverse reaction. In his report, the deputy wrote that Harding's account was a "very implausible story." He described her as "very agitated" and "glancing everywhere." He noted that the former star skater was "frustrated others can't see the people she sees."Harding's rap sheet is as impressive as Pacman Jones... More About: Tonya
Wells to give up boozing
2007-03-20 17:37:00 After a lifetime of boozing and fast food, Padres pitcher David Well s announced yesterday that he has recently been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. "Obviously, this is a concern," the left-hander told a San Diego newspaper. "But it's beatable. And I'm going to beat it. It's going to take some lifestyle changes. And I'm already making them. From the time I found out, I made changes. No more starches and sugar. No more rice, pasta, potatoes and white bread. No more fast food. I've cut out alcohol."I almost spit out my coffee from laughing so hard when I read this. On the scale of most ironic things to ever happen to an athlete this ranks right up there with Greg Louganis announcing he’s HIV positive. I’m pretty sure that Wells’ disease is the result of his food orgy in Africa last November. The only thing funnier would have been if he had caught AIDS after devouring a wild chimpanzee.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Give , Give up
Chacin likes to drink
2007-03-20 13:28:00 Toronto Blue Jays left-hander Gustavo Chacin was arrested and charged early Friday morning in Tampa, Fla., on a misdemeanor count of driving under the influence. Chacin was stopped by Tampa Police at 3:43 a.m., booked, then released on a $500 bond later in the morning. Police reports said his blood alcohol content measured .150 at the time of his arrest, almost twice the legal limit of .08.This is the same Gustavo Chacin who had his own fragrance created last year, with ads that ask 'Are you a Chacin man?' To coincide with his arrest this year, it is expected that the scent of the cologne will be reworked to include Hennessy, rosin, and donkey.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Drink , Like
Tootoo is loco
2007-03-19 15:40:00 Jordon Tootoo of the Nashville Predators will likely face disciplinary action after cold-cocking Stephane Robidas in the chops during Saturday night's NHL game versus the Dallas Stars. Robidas was looking to make a clean hit on Tootoo after he ran Stars legend, Mike Modano hard into the boards. In Tootoo’s defense, when your mind is pre-occupied with global warming now melting your summer home, it is difficult to tell the difference between a charging defenseman and a charging harp seal. The natural reaction is to start clubbing.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo.
Strahan gets scolded
2007-03-19 15:24:00 Michael Stra han was dragged into court last week by his ex-wife, who is still waiting to see the other half of her divorce settlement. Strahan went ballistic last January when a judge ordered him to give her 70% of his net worth. The judge said Strahan acted in "bad faith" by not paying all of the money.Strahan’s going about this all wrong. If the Juice taught us anything it’s that you’re supposed to hide your fortune in off-shore accounts to avoid having to pay up. And to hack up your ex. I’m not suggesting that Strahan OJ his wife, but at least he wouldn’t have to suffer through the humiliation of having his father-in-law bust up his Heisman.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Cold , Gets
Maryland is done
2007-03-19 13:32:00 #5 seed Butler ousted #4 Mary land in the NCAA March Madness tournament on Saturday afternoon. The Bulldogs held off the Terrapins for a 62-59 win to advance to the sweet 16. A.J. Graves in particular outplayed Maryland star swingman, D.J. Strawberry, who failed to score a point in the first half and finished with eight.Every sports fan has to be concerned about DJ Strawberry after this hard loss. Afterall, being Darryl Strawberry's son means he’s genetically predisposed to not handling defeat. For his sake, we hope he doesn't try and use his father's coping mechanism to dull the pain of this loss. And by coping mechanism we mean snorting an 8-ball out of a hooker’s cleavage until you can't remember your own name.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Land , Done
Poet's Corner - Haiku
2007-03-17 20:03:00 Rose bet on his team.Never will be in the Hall.Ruined his careers.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Corn , Haiku , Corner , Poet
Scot Pollard encourages kids
2007-03-16 18:23:00 Cleveland Cavaliers center Scot Poll ard was forced to apologize after looking into a television camera during a game last Sunday and saying “Hey kids, do drugs.”"It was a bad joke… obviously, I don't believe that." Polla rd said yesterday. Apparently the Cavaliers didn’t find it funny because they are considering some sort of disciplinary action.I guess I can believe that Pollard didn’t have any bad intentions and he’ll probably get off lightly. The league’s lucky they that this wasn’t Damon Stoudamire though. Cause if it had been he would have given a soliloquy about the virtues of smoking dope including a few tips he’s learned along the way. Like not to trust your friends when they invite you to a hotel room full of dope and that airport metal detectors easily sense tinfoil.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Kids , Rage , Rages
Marbury is cheap
2007-03-16 16:26:00 $17 Million man Stephon Marbury of the New York Knicks, is trying to give back to the ghetto by endorsing and pimping out $15 sneakers. "I just wanted to do something different to make a difference," said Marbury. Marbury wants to use his fame to make a low-priced basketball shoe popular and reduce the pressure to buy the $100 to $200 Nikes, Reeboks and others. He says his shoe, the Starbury – sold exclusively by American retailer Steve & Barry's – is as well made as the expensive ones. To prove it, he wears them in all his basketball games.Marbury has good intentions, but in the ghetto, it is about street cred, nothing else. It is great that welfare kids can now afford NBA sneaks, but even if these shoes are cool, you don’t get a rep by struttin' around town with pimpin’ shoes. You earn it by knifing the kid who is wearing them, whether they cost $15 or $200. Moral of the story is, if Marbury is making $17 mill large a year, and can only afford to wear $15 sneakers, t... More About: Cheap
David Wells kills, then eats wild animals
2007-03-15 16:20:00 David Wells returned from his month long African hunting trip and basically treated the entire continent as an all you can eat buffet. "Ostrich was phenomenal. Warthog was outstanding. A little different taste, but it's really good," the Padres' pitcher said recently while recounting his November trip. "Hartebeest, wildebeest, gazelle, all that stuff. Very, very tasty."Boomer showed no sympathy in devouring a dik-dik (a furry antelope-like creature) saying, "that was probably one of the best-eating things I had. Cute little suckers, too. It's just the zebra you don't want to eat. We shot them for bait. For lions.”If Boomer can find a way satisfy his thirst for red meat, I don’t understand how there are millions of people starving over there. When Wells finally gives up baseball he should start up a show on the Discovery Channel and call it “Boomer’s Really Wild Kingdom”. Only instead of trying to save the planet, he’ll make his way around the African horn in a dune b... More About: Animal , Animals , Anima , David
Alexander held out
2007-03-15 14:59:00 Shaun Alex ander has written an autobiography, and in it he says he was a virgin until he married Valerie Boyd in 2002 and that they never even kissed until they stood at the altar and directed to do so by the pastor. He was 24 years old. Alexa nder has been very open about his beliefs that sex before marriage is wrong. He told Howard Stern about his beliefs last year, while also saying he'd be OK with a gay player in the locker room, even though he didn't think "it was right." And he apparently believes God told him via a series of sexual dreams that he should maintain his vow of abstinence.This is a lot different then the message that Jesus sent me in my 20's. He told me to go bang as many skanks as possible, even if I have to pay. What he didn't tell me about was the burning sensation that I would feel the next day. Although I guess it was my own fault in retrospect. People tried to tell me that just because he hadn't shaved in years and had a propensity to hammer nails into ... More About: Alexander , Held
Mary-Jane is everywhere, where was you brought up?
2007-03-14 13:42:00 Last week, mixed martial artist Nick Diaz tested positive for marijuana following his stunning submission win over Takanori Gomi on Feb. 24. Diaz surprised the Japanese organization's 161-pound champion, in spectacular fashion. Afterwards, it was learned that Diaz had suffered a fractured orbital bone and was medically suspended up to six months. While the NSAC has discretion, suspensions for the use of marijuana have been for a similar period of time.In a sport where you need razor sharp reflexes to ensure you don't get killed, it boggles the mind why one would be suspended for using the chronic. Afterall, if you want to enter the ring sluggish, and risk not making weight after a bought of the midnight munchies, that's your perogative. Just like riding shot-gun with Dany Heatley.Throwing Smoke - we say what you want to hear. Smack is always on the menu, yo. More About: Mary , Everywhere , Here , Ever , Jane
Move over Artest and Jackson
2007-03-14 13:26:00 The Indiana Pacer's mascot Boomer, a 6-foot-tall blue cat with gold whiskers stuck with team policy by getting mixed up with the law. A former Pacers fan, Nathaniel Jack son, alleges in his lawsuit against the NBA team and the performer who portrays the feline mascot that as he entered Conseco Fieldhouse for a March 11, 2005 game against Golden State he was asked to take part in a free-throw shooting contest during a timeout. Jackson initially declined, saying he was recovering from back surgery but was assured that "there would be no reason for concern or injury," according to the lawsuit filed. After taking part in the free-throw contest, the lawsuit states that Jackson began to leave the basketball court but was tackled from behind by the team's mascot. An employee who knew about Jackson's back surgery immediately told the mascot about the surgery, and Boomer responded by kicking at Jackson's legs, the lawsuit alleges.From a first class organization that breeds gangsters like ... More About: Arte , Over , Move
Pacman assaulted
More articles from this author:2007-03-13 17:15:00 The comic book that is Pacman Jones’ life entered its next chapter last weekend when he was the victim of a knife attack. Pacman was out at a bowling ally near his home in Tennessee last Friday night when the incident occurred. Another patron apparently started a confrontation with Pacman that eventually escalated. Police are saying that the assailant produced a pocketknife and “threatened to beat [Pacman] up and to use the knife on him.” Pacman was unhurt during the exchange and police arrived quickly to arrest the would-be attacker.What the hell is Pacman doing in a bowling alley? Last time I checked bowling was pretty low on the list of favourite ghetto sports. Down there with darts, croquet, and safe sex. Pacman’s life is so ridiculous. Even when he’s trying to steer clear of trouble by avoiding nightclubs and strippers the cops get called in all the same. This guy has an incredible gift to attract problems wherever he goes. Pacman’s the only guy I know who can go to... More About: Assault , Saul 1, 2 |



