StubHub In Haiku: A Cruel Joke On Cubs Fans?
2009-10-19 23:20:00 What the hell StubHubCubs fans aren't depressed enoughSo now you send this?Here is an email I received this afternoon from StubHub. The "Check it out" link points to the StubHub page to purchase LCS and WS tickets. I thought it might be a practical joke from a friend, but the stubhub-mail.com domain is registered to StubHub. And the address matches other email I've received from StubHub, which also referred to "your Chicago Cubs" - presumably because I requested info on Cubs tickets in the past.Did anyone else receive a similar email?...
President Obama and David Letterman joke during a break at a taping of CBS
2009-09-22 03:18:00 President Barack Obama, who has faced a lot of criticism from some quarters which former President Jimmy Carter views as racially motivated, had an answer for that in his talk with the Late Show's David Letterman today.
By: Get rich
Bottle Tops - Cruel Manufacturers' Joke?
2009-09-03 16:46:00 Lately, I have found the design of bottle tops/caps to be a bit of a problem; by some 'twist' of fate (groan), i inevitably end up with milk dribbled down my chin while I am drinking my beverage! Depending on how my mouth closes around the edge of the top, the liquid tends to run down along the t
“3 Rs for a joke sms is daylight robbery” – On Increasing
2009-09-03 12:50:00 The first panel discussion at the IAMAI conference on Mobile content and services was on Mobile Technology, the questions the panel tried to answer were: *Â Will Technology be the driving factor for content and services in Future? * What would be the future technology to boost the data services? * How the technology could be used for efficiency in access of Services? Language is a barrier for VAS adoption: Starting the session Chirag Jain,VPÂ Marketing,Webaroo said the key proponents in the whole Mobile VAS system comprised are User and Content, he pointed out that language is one barrier mobile companies have to overcome for a wider VAS adoption in India. Llater in a Q&A session he said that VAS services should be implemented for ease of access to the user and he pointed out that during the ideation of SMSGupshup, Webaroo (its parent comapny) did a test run of their idea at PanIIT, where in they gave fairly complex commands to the delegates to find their friends through sm...
By: WATblog
A Joke/Maybe More?
2009-08-27 01:10:00 So this Engineer ends up in Hell. He goes, man, it's hot here. He asks the Devil, "Can I do something about this heat?" The Devil says, "Do whatever you want." So the Engineer builds a great AC system, cools the place down. He makes an Ice maker, they get a nice Tiki bar going, and star
Marriage is a Joke
2009-08-19 15:50:00 It's Chicago Improviser Pat O'Brien's last week of shows before he heads out to NYC for SNL. (the Second City Mainstage cast, from l. to r.; Pat O'Brien, Anthony LeBlanc, Joe Canale, Brad Morris, Lauren Ash, Shelly Gossman, Emily Wilson) *...
Ruggero Robin: the no joke series!
2009-08-16 22:40:00 Nor sure why these are called joke... as they are no joke to me... some fantastic playing again from Ruggero Robin... enjoy! Ruggero Robin Maiden Voyage Joke Solar joke Ruggero Robin Blue Bossa Joke Ruggero Robin Chitarra Egmond Joke 1966 This is a content summary only. Visit Truth In Shredding to find out more!
Dane Cook Vanessa Hudgens? Joke At 2009 TCA (Video)
2009-08-11 13:44:00 Comedian Dane Cook took the stage at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards to present the Choice Hotties awards and made the mistake to poke fun of teen star Vanessa Hudgens and her involvement in a leaked nude photo scandal for the second time in two years. Of all the bad cruel jokes that could have been ...
libingquan created a new blog: life and joke
2009-07-23 03:34:00 libingquan created a new blog: life and joke
Yep, this is a cannibal joke
2009-07-02 19:13:00 Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Oh dad, there's one.""No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough.""No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her.""No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either.""Why not?" asked the son."Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother!"
By: Apache
Oh, no! Not another blonde joke!
2009-05-26 18:11:00 Ssshhh...!!! Don't you dare to laugh!A red-head, a brunette and a blonde were all about to be executed, one at a time. First up was the red-head, and as she stood up against the wall before several men with guns, she suddenly yelled, "EARTHQUAKE!" All of the men were so confused they ran for cover and the red-head escaped by the time they realized there was no earthquake.Next up was the brunette, who stood before the line of armed men and at the last second yelled, "TORNADO!" Once again, the men were confused and the brunette slipped away when the men turned around to look for a tornado.Finally, up stepped the blonde before the shooting line. The man in charged instructed his men, "Ready. Aim..." and just at that moment the blonde screamed, "FIRE!"
By: Apache
I'd make a "2001" joke, but I bet he gets sick of those (Take A Book For Ch
2009-05-21 13:29:00 Even as we speak, my book, Eclipse, is winging its way to New York for autographing by Murder Mystery (a/k/a "The Greatest Band In The History Of Ever") and when I get that back, I'll auction it as promised...... but I'm still continuing to try to get others to Take a Book for Charity, and I'm pleased to report today that the arduous process of becoming a MySpace friend to Gary Lockwood is now complete; I have become a friend of Gary Lockwood -- star of 2001: A Space Odyssey -- and have today posted a comment on his MySpace page asking him to join Murder Mystery (The Greatest Band In The History of Ever) in helping me help Mateo and McHale Shaw pay their medical bills.I will keep you posted on Mr. Lockwood's response. Will he help out -- and maybe make himself, in so doing, the Greatest Actor in the History of Ever? Stay Tuned!Also, here's a link to Murder Mystery's MySpace page. Go listen to their music or buy their album or go to their shows or do all three. They rock.Ta...
"Joke Line" Returns Lamenting "More Jack And Less Dick"
2009-05-04 23:44:00 (I also posted here.)I had a feeling that somehow, in the midst of the eulogies for Jack Kemp, the former football player, U.S. House rep, HUD secretary, and failed presidential and vice-presidential candidate, one of the members of our punditocracy was going to put his or her foot in it, so to speak. And sure enough, Joke Line did just that here (though he did manage to end his post with the phrase I used in the title, so he wins back points for cleverness, as in the Repugs need more Kemp and less Cheney, which I suppose is also debatable).First, though, I should be gracious and extend sympathies to Kemp?s family and friends. Now that that?s dispensed, let?s check out what the esteemed Time journo has to say?Kemp was, in a way, the John Edwards of the Republican Party--without Edwards' personal problems, of course.I have to admit that I?m a little fatigued with the knowledge that the media shorthand for John Edwards has pretty much been enshrined in stone by now ($400 haircut/fanc...
Solar-Powered Lantern Is No Joke
2009-05-01 04:30:00 The Pisat K-Light solar-powered lantern is an efficient, versatile light for any camping afficionado.
Did you get this Family Guy joke?
2009-04-29 08:33:00 I remember hearing the writers of Family Guy tell how they to sneak jokes past Fox’s Programming and Standards in order to get them to air. And every now and again, I wonder what or who they had to do to get a certain joke on the show. So now I am wondering what they ...
Did you get this Family Guy joke?
2009-04-28 02:28:00 I remember hearing the writers of Family Guy tell how they to sneak jokes past Fox’s Programming and Standards in order to get them to air. And every now and again, I wonder what or who they had to do to get a certain joke on the show. So now I am wondering what they ...
Carrie Underwood Sorry for Sexual McConaughey Joke
2009-04-07 17:09:00 Country superstar Carrie Underwood apologized after Sunday night’s Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, after making an off-the-cuff sexual joke towards Matthew McConaughey, who had just presented her with the coveted ‘Entertainer of the Year’ award. McConaughey told this gem of a story before presenting the award to a shocked Underwood: The Texas-born actor presented ...
Insert Teabag Joke here
2009-03-28 09:23:00 Tomorrow (Saturday the 27th) at 2pm is the big anti-Albany tea party at the Buffalo inner harbor. Rus Thompson is organizing it. If you're not sure if you're going yet, here's a picture of the giant teabag he constructed for the occasion. Furreals. Hilarity awaits.
By: BuffaloPundit
Car Salesman; Day In The Life Of Salesman Joke
2009-03-05 04:47:00 So you want to be a Car Salesman! This is a day in the life of a Car Salesman that may not be so unfamiliar to other Salesman, but you must always keep a smile on your face.6:00 Alarm goes off6:00 Hit Snooze on Alarm6:15 Hit Snooze on Alarm6:30 Hit Snooze on Alarm6:45 Wife punched me in back yelling "You are going to be late for work."6:55 Stagger to bathroom to shower and shave7:00 All the sales Guru's tell you to look yourself in the mirror and say, "I am GREAT!" "I am the BEST!" Maybe tomorrow I can do it without laughing.7:30 Cant be late for work again, put shirt in dryer instead of ironing.8:00 Leave for work to get there early, they tell me I will sell more cars if I am early.8:10 Return home to get cell phone8:30 Leave for work again after stalling for another 20 minutes9:10 Walk into sales meeting 10 minutes late, Sales Manager makes an example out of me. Tells new Sales Reps that early birds always get the worm, bla, bla, bla. I got a worm for ya is what I wanted to say. ...
NGO Hypocrisy Makes "human rights" a Tragic Joke
2009-02-01 14:09:00 Dishonest attacks on Israel and its operation in Gaza to stop Hamas from terrorizing the Israeli population in the south by frequent shooting of rockets and mortars were made by EU politicians and journalists, by the prime minister of Turkey [with its unadmitted oppression of and genocide of non-Muslims and non-Turks], and by a host of falsely labelled "non-governmental organizations." That is, part of the fakery of the "NGOs" is that in fact most are funded directly or indirectly by --governments!! Indeed, I would say that all or almost all of the most prominent, most influential NGOs are government-funded or funded by very wealthy, very politically influential individuals. Hence, these bodies are not "non-governmental" at all.One of these bodies unfairly criticizing Israel was the so-called "Human Rights Watch." This led to a criticism of HRW's position in the Jerusalem Post, written by Gerald Steinberg of NGO Monitor. Then Kenneth Roth of HRW sent his dishonest rebuttal. Links t...
By: Emet m\'Tsiyon
Elizabeth Cotten Telling A Joke
2009-01-30 10:00:00 The video that I originally posted was removed by the poster at YouTube, which is really a shame because it was a delightful story by Elizabeth Cotten. I can not tell it with the charm and charisma that she told it but here goes.She states that she named herself, because she was never really given a formal name by her parents. They just called her Babe all her life up to that point, so when she went to school the teacher asked her what her name was. She replied that her name was Elizabeth, and that is how she named herself.Here is another Elizabeth Cotten post Frieght Train.And his is another video of Mrs. Cotten playing and singing and telling stories Elizabeth Cotten - Freight Train. Elizabeth CottenShake Sugareeplease click image for mp3 album @Amazon.com
By: SqueezeMyLemon
Late HOF Rant. What a Joke
2009-01-18 04:50:00 Late HOF Rant. What a Joke This year’s HOF numbers go a long way in confirming that many MLB writers have absolutely no clue. Myself and Callum both selected the same four players for inclusion to Cooperstown. Here’s how they each did. Rickey Henderson - Elected with 94.8% We’ve discussed numerous times 100% rate. Surprised by such a ...
By: Mop Up Duty
Joke of The 2009 Anil Ambani Sunil Mittal find PM material in Narendra Modi
2009-01-13 22:42:00 Joke of The 2009 Anil Ambani Sunil Mittal find PM material in Narendra Modi Posted using ShareThis &-#160;
Friday Blues Funny - The SqueezeMyLemon Joke
2008-12-26 14:00:00 THE LEMON and THE LITTLE OLD MAN - The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.Many people had tried over time (professional wrestlers, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it.One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."After the laughter had died down, the bartender agreed, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the dried, wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and SIX drops fell into the glass.As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjac...
By: SqueezeMyLemon
How to pick your Dragon to plunder (Joke)
2008-12-11 16:51:00 How to select your target VC / InvestorBy Georges van Hoegaerden, the managing director of The Venture Company For over 10 years I?ve built and managed growth for early stage innovation in Silicon Valley and more than ever do I believe that building real disruptive customer value is more important than trying to time an acquisition opportunity. You may too, unless of course you are a gambler and firmly believe that the $3 red-white-blue slot machines in Vegas consistently yield the greatest returns. I will not argue the outcome. Acquisitions remain nothing more than a welcome diversion on your way to building the largest technology empire. And even now when IPOs have dried up any focus away from building your empire is damaging. Real disruptive innovation is resistant to economic aberrations and a consistent focus on customer value remains your only rescue. I believe that IPOs for technology companies will return (and subsequently spur more pre-IPO acquisitions), albeit not with the...
A Christmas Story (Joke - and please, if you are religious, don?t click thi
2008-12-05 08:20:00 When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them ...
Joke of The Day
2008-12-02 15:05:00 Kak Iza buat lawak. Ku gelak smpi rase nak terber@k.Dia cakap dulu cikgu dia tulis "Sila Tekankan" pada white board dan suruh murid2 baca dalam slang terengganu.Mouse over the image to see the result:
By: ad3ck's bLoG
Can you tell a shorter joke?
2008-11-28 13:40:00 A dyslexic walks into a bra ...............
By: Christian Quoter
Obama Makes Stupid Joke About Nancy Regan.... Now Apologizes
2008-11-08 01:52:00 Heres the video from todays press conference:Now he is apologizing for this:President-elect Barack Obama called Nancy Reagan this afternoon to apologize for a joke about her having heald "séances" in the White House, an Obama aide said.?President-elect Barack Obama called Nancy Reagan today to apologize for the careless and off handed remark he made during today?s press conference," said transition spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter. "The President-elect expressed his admiration and affection for Mrs. Reagan that so many Americans share and they had a warm conversation."Obama was asked at his press conference today if he'd spoken to all the "living" presidents."I have spoken to all of them who are living," he responded. "I didn?t want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any séances."He was apparently confusing stories about Reagan's consulting with an astrologer with those about other First Ladies -- from Mary Todd Lincoln to Hillary Clinton -- who tried to make contact with fi...
Insert Blonde Joke Here.
2008-10-09 09:00:00 A Bridgeport, Connecticut woman, sued L’Oreal Inc. claiming the blonde hair dye she had purchased was instead brown, causing her platinum locks to be dyed brunette. This, of course, left the bimbo, Ms. Charlotte Feeney, so “traumatized” that it caused her to need anti-depressants. Yes, really. Not only that, she claims she was so distraught that she suffered ...
By: Celebrity Smack!
There's a BurgerTime Joke to be Made
2008-10-03 17:55:00 Above you see an unexpected delicacy of Nashville: deep-fried pickles with horseradish sauce. I ordered them as a novelty at a BBQ place one night; surprisingly, they turned out to be fantastic.I really ate healthily on this trip -- deep fried pickles, BBQx15, bratwurst nachos, not to mention the aforementioned key lime martinis and copious amounts of beer. I'd like to say that since coming back I've been on a strict raw vegan diet, but that would be a lie.* * *In a sort of "fall cleaning" mood today, I've stripped out some dead blogs from the links over there and added some new ones. Take a peek, won't you?
Love Joke Card
2008-10-02 20:57:00 I had some time on my hands and came up with this corny joke. I like it though. I've done it as a valentines card and just a I love you card for my shop. It's also at Cartoonstock if you want to buy it for a magazine or something :-).I would ask that if you do use my work that you throw me a few sheckles once and a while. Buying one of my downloadable books would help me a great deal, and it's only £1.25 a couple of dollars. I thank you very much.
That Lipstick Joke - It was Great
2008-09-23 22:08:00 Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is in New York today to meet with a handful of world leaders and foreign policy experts like Henry Kissinger at the UN. But all is not going as smoothly as she'd like. One might chalk it up to the fact that she's been ...
By: BuffaloPundit
Joke Sunday
2008-09-22 00:32:00 Well I am good at one thing, picking the underacheivers on their special days. What a joke Chicago was today as well as Buffalo and New England. Going desperate tonight as today hurt.Green Bay (+3) 1000ptsGB/Dal (-51.5) 1000ptsPuke on you,JReezy
That's Not A Funny Joke...
2008-09-10 20:47:00 Today's lovely featured product is something for the ocean lover in you! It's the Reefer Madness Mousepad! Isn't this mousepad totally adorable? It's something simple and cute that would fit ar any adult or even a children's computer!Original, Modern, Fine Art By Contemporary Artist, Pamela Miller. Painting and Art includes: Abstract, Cityscape, Seascape, Asian, Fantasy, Animal (ie Fish, Cat, Horse Art), Nudes, ACEOs, SFA and Still Lifes. Mediums Used: Acrylic, Watercolor and Mixed Media
Fighting the Bryan Adams Joke Urge
2008-09-10 02:52:00 #37 -- "Summer of '49" by David HalberstamA few months back, I realized that I'd never ever read any of Halberstam's books, so I picked up a few. Naturally I read the baseball one before any of those dealing with serious subjects.In my teenage years, I read just about every baseball book in the Boulder Public Library, except for this one and one or two of Roger Angell's books, which looked, I dunno, too serious for me. Anyway, "Summer of '49" was a nice end-of-summer read, pretty quick and nicely paced. I burned myself out on baseball literature long ago, but this is probably a bit headier stuff -- Halberstam's a big fan, but he can't curb his intellectual instincts, which is a-ok with me. There's a good case to be made for the pennant race occurring at a crucial juncture in American history (granted, you could probably make that case for any race between, say, the 1940s and the 1970s), as radio had started giving way to TV, the color line was still newly broken, stars' fee...
Internet Joke
2008-09-07 09:52:00 Customer: "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?"Download the Internet hereLOL.source: w3schools.comda~
By: ad3ck's bLoG
Internet Joke
2008-09-07 09:52:00 Customer: "I want to download the Internet. Do I need a bigger hard disk?"Download the Internet hereLOL.source: w3schools.comda~
By: ad3ck's bLoG
Why Obama’s “Community Organizer” Days Are a Joke
2008-09-05 16:03:00 This is by Michelle Malkin on Townhall.com via Conservative Grapevine Rudy Giuliani had me in stitches during his red-meat keynote address at the GOP convention. I laughed out loud when Giuliani laughed out loud while noting Barack Obama’s deep experience as a “community organizer.” I laughed again when VP nominee and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin cracked: ...
I guess the joke is on me. But I don?t find it very funny.
2008-09-04 04:50:00 Caleb has his annual plastic surgeon appointment today. Or rather, was supposed to have his annual plastic surgeon appointment today. But apparently his doctor decided to take the day off and nobody was able to get a hold of me. Wait. Let’s step back to a half hour before I was standing at the window of ...
By: The Bean Blog
Is this a Joke?
2008-09-02 21:22:00 Or a bad publicity stunt maybe? Can Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson really, truly be dating? Well it seems as though they are and that they actually have quite a bit in common. Oh, I almost choked on that last part. The two are dating in secret although I’m not personally close with either of ...
The Worlds Oldest Joke
2008-08-23 22:12:00 Did you know that the worlds oldest known joke dates back to 1900BC? It is a saying of the Sumerian people who lived in what is now Iraq. “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” Submitted By Fran in the Forums
By: Factsbuffet.com
HFAC JOKE?
2008-07-22 00:51:00 ABOUT THE HFAC I REALY DO THINK IT IS A JOKE ! I HAVE TRIED TO CONTACT SOMEONE WHO IS AREAL PERSON FOR OVER 5 DAYS WITH NO RESPONSE.JUST WE WILL BE IN TOUCH WITH YOU.
F1 - Visa process
2008-06-25 02:43:00 Soooo True..... Something to think about (click to enlarge)Source: Phdcomics
By: Kinji's Blog
JOKE ON US
2008-06-23 19:31:00 George Carlin, truth teller. The real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians, they’re an irrelevancy. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. ...
Joke contest!
2008-06-23 17:52:00 A ____ walks into a _____… It’s about time we got some fresh meat when it comes to “So a thing walks into another thing…” jokes. I mean, we’ve all heard the same tired six jokes and they almost always begin with some religious figures entering an establishment that sells alcohol. So: in ...
By: Say No to Crack
Mexican Joke Of The Day
2008-06-13 14:13:00 This was a joke told by a Mexican-American that was buying a car. I want to use the word Hispanic, but he says there is no shame in using the word Mexican because that is where he is from. So here goes the joke.He asked me what a Fat Woman and a Brick had in common?I said, I really do not know!He said they would both eventually be laid by a Mexican!Be sure and check out these other Car Salesman Jokes and Car Lot Humor;Car Salesman Joke; EyeglassesGrean Pea (New Car Salesman) PrankCar Salesman Joke-Flying CarsCar Salesman Joke-A Little TailService Department Joke
A Golf Joke?
2008-06-12 20:55:00 Well, here we go again, this is one of those things that just needs to be passed on, it’s from An Ol? Broad?s Ramblings and this is one of my blogging buddies that was my distinct pleasure to meet and have lunch with, thanks Kate! A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the ...
By: TexasFred's
Video: '[Insert jokey play on word 'Sex'] and the [Insert joke
2008-06-10 00:51:00 On film screens this summer, "Sex"y celesbian Cynthia Nixon is helping her somewhat self-absorbed friend Carrie deal with man troubles. But on YouTube screens, she's warning Samantha-loving Charlottes about a truly "Big" problem: Wise, important words. Though lesbians, for a...
By: Good As You
An Hour of Pleasure - A new joke 4 u
2008-06-08 20:14:00 An Hour of Pleasure The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?" A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?" --- ---<--{(@ Free online games A to Z ---<--{(@ Photos from different countries Represent your country or your City ---<--{(@ |
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