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Great IT Jokes
2012-01-24 02:25:00 It was with fun that I read the latest article on this subject from Infoworld. At one time or another everyone working for a large company has found themselves as the victim. It does not matter if you are IT geek, Corporate user, or just poor customer. The stories are always fun, yet also troublesome. My ...
Miley Cyrus Jokes About Being a Stoner
2011-11-29 02:06:00 Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus rang in her nineteenth birthday with pal Kelly Osbourne, who threw her a bash at Beacher’s Madhouse at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. In a video obtained from the private party, Cyrus refers to herself as a “stoner.” Video Shows Miley Cyrus Taking Hits Off Bong at 18th Birthday “This is ...
Investment Jokes
2011-11-22 06:30:00 Some days the market makes you want to cry. Hopefully these investment jokes will make you laugh instead. Enjoy… For Sale: John Deere Tractor. Runs good. Missing steering wheel and seat.Ideal for the person who has lost his ass anddoesn’t know which way to turn. At The Bank I went to the ATM this morning and it said “insufficient funds”. I’m wondering is it them or me? Quote Of The Day From a trader: “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.” Uncertainty Hits Japan In the last seven days, Origami bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some . . . → Read More: Investment Jokes
By: Jutia Group
Rape jokes and the backlash
2011-11-16 22:46:00 The definition of the word rape is; “The unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.” Now I don’t condone rape on any human being or somebody who likes to commit this unlawful and hideous crime. It’s something that affects many people over the course of a year and... Read more »
Even more Offensive Knock Knock Jokes.
2011-11-13 05:24:00 Knock knock.Who's there?You're mother.But my mother's dead!...BRAAAAAAAINS...Knock knock.Who's there?Propofol.Propofol who?Propofol who... killed Michael Jackson!Knock knock.Who's there?God.God who?...............Knock knock.Who's there?Jesus.Jesus who?Exactly.Knock knock.Who's there?Michael Jackson.Michael Jackson who?...BRAAAAAAAINS...Knock knock.Who's there?Hitler.Hitler who?Hitler so hard she saw stars of David.Knock knock.Who's there?Boo.Boo who?Don't cry, it's only a knock knock joke. Also, I killed your mother.Knock knock.Who's there?Polar bears.Polar bears who?Damn, already?Knock knock.Who's there?Native Americans.Native Americans who?Damn, already?Knock knock.Who's there?9/11.9/11 who.... AAHAHAHAHAHAHA...sorry, you said 9/11... that kills me every time.My Zazzle Store
Herman Cain Jokes About Anita Hill
2011-11-12 20:16:00 After just finishing a paper for American History about the Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill trial it was very relevant that Herman Cain was joking about her. Previously, the woman accusing Cain of sexual harassment had commented saying that she didn’t want to be compared to Hill. The Boston Globe runs an article about Cain’s (Read More...)
Tricking a Nun
2011-08-16 18:59:00 A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says ...
Cheap Jokes In Haiku: Oh, Anthony
2011-06-06 23:30:00 New York CongressmanFinally admits the truth"It was my wiener"Just in case you haven't heard ... Representative Anthony Wiener on Monday tearfully admitted having a number of online sex relationships with women over the Internet, saying he was deeply ashamed of his actions but would not resign.Weiner, a New York Democrat and a leading liberal voice in the House of Representatives who was expected to run for mayor of New York City in 2013, also admitted to inappropriate Internet and telephone conversations with six women but said none of them developed into a physical relationship. I've always enjoyed watching Congressman Wiener joust with his political opponents. But I certainly hope he changes his mind and resigns. Democrats have been reluctant to speak out...
3 Jim Tressel Jokes
2011-06-01 07:39:00 Just go ahead and read them. It'll take 2 minutes of your time and you'll be the only person with Jim Tressel jokes. Besides, we both know you know an OSU fan who deserves to be laughed at for their cult-like love of Ohio State. ...
I Love This Doctor!
2011-04-16 15:54:00 Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it. Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up! Click here to read more...
By: SnitchCentral
Howard Stern Accuses Jay Leno of Stealing Jokes
2011-01-18 01:17:00 Shock jock Howard Stern has some less-than-flattering things to say about somebody, and this time, it’s not a guest on his show. The radio host is accusing late-night legend Jay Leno of ripping off his material. Stern appeared on Piers Morgan’s CNN show and told the host, “Jay is insane. And Jay is a crook. ...
By: Gone Hollywood
Ricky Gervais Top 10 Jokes at Golden Globes 2011 (VIDEO)
2011-01-17 19:06:00 British comedian Ricky Gervais most probably went way too far with very controversial jokes, mostly delivered during the opening monologue at 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California on Sunday (January 16)- watch video below. Golden Globe Awards Winners 2011 (FULL List) The 49 year-old made jokes with God, ...
Android ? Jokes Catalog #1 ? My first application
2010-11-12 10:19:00 I started last week to play with Android SDK (I got a HTC Dream .. a really cool device) and it is a little bit hard because I didn’t worked with Java before but I hope I’ll read these lines in few months and laugh Here is my first application : It is pretty simple ...
WOW, Democrat Jokes That Seniors Should Be Denied End-Of-Life Healthcare
2010-09-29 23:06:00 -By Warner Todd Huston Democrat Gary McDowell is running to replace Bart Stupak (D, MI) in Michigan's First District and while he may be hoping he might get the votes of seniors coming to the end of their time here on this mortal coil, he sure seems reticent to give them the medical care they'll need to be around much longer after the election! At a campaign appearance, McDowell agreed with those Obamacare supporters that think giving lifesaving medical care to seniors at end of life is a "resource" that needs to be rationed. McDowell even makes a joke of the issue by saying that those that say end-of-life care should be rationed must be "from a safe district" because...
More offensive knock knock jokes.
2010-09-28 20:00:00 Knock knock.Who's there?9/11.9/11 who?YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!Ok that one is an old one but I like it. Here's a few I just came up with.Knock knock.Who's there?In interrupting muslim.An interrupting muslim wh..*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM-*Knock knock.Who's there?An aborted fetu..*hack*... ah....Heh, he's dead now.Knock knock.Who's there?An owl.An owl who?...fuck you buddy.Knock knock.Who's there?A native American.A native American HOW?...fuck you buddy.Knock knock.Who's there?Carlos Mencia.Carlos Mencia who... oh fuck it this joke isn't going to be funny.Knock knock.Who's there?About 6 million Jews.About 6 million Jews who?About 6 million Jews who probably deserved what we got in WW2.This offensive knock knock joke in no way represents my personal opinion on Jewish people. It's just an offensive joke.If you have any good ones, leave a comment.My Zazzle Store
Darth Vader In The Death Star Cafeteria
2010-07-26 10:49:00 Cafeterias are everywhere. Even the Death Star needed one. Who else will cater to those thousands and thousands of Storm Troopers who are constantly hungry after every planet they patrol. And where will Darth Vader get his food, chill and hang out with the boys in between battles with those intergalactic rebels? Here is a very hilarious Lego style re-enactment of Eddie Izzard's comedic prowess and his take of of what you might expect when Vader goes down there for lunch. Click here to watch the clip...
By: SnitchCentral
All My Children star Walt Willey jokes about everything... but soap stardom
2010-07-08 18:43:00 By BOB ANDELMAN During my brief flirtation with the ABC soap opera ?All My Children? as a newlywed in the late 1980s who didn?t refuse his wife much of anything, let alone his company, I always remembered the character of Jackson ?Jack? Montgomery. -------------- LISTEN TO WALT WILLEY INTERVIEW! -------------- The actor who portrayed Montgomery, Walt Willey, seemed out of place to me, a little too light-hearted even when the scene called for serious, a guy having fun at all times, winking to the audience that he knew the storylines were often sillier than silly. Fans of this show know I?m not a regular watcher of the soaps, but I know Willey is not your average soap star, either. When he?s not taping new episodes of AMC, he?s working as a standup comedian. And when he?s not doing either of those professional pursuits, he and his wife run the Crystal Mesa Farm Bed & Breakfast in Sante Fe, New Mexico. And on Saturday, September 25, Walt Willey will take a break...
By: Mr. Media
A Familiar Aroma
2010-06-23 08:43:00 A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer... Click here to read more...
By: SnitchCentral
What Becomes of Jokes Never Told?
2010-06-22 07:17:00 Is there really a great Word file dump in the sky?
Jokes From Jeremy William Smith Of Days Difference
2010-01-21 05:31:00 Jeremy William Smith of Days Difference told some jokes on the band’s YouTube channel. Find out where dart players go to shop and why the seasoning got thrown in prison below.
Jay, Dave, Jimmy and Conan fire more jokes in late-night war
2010-01-15 07:36:00 he late-night wars of words continued Thursday, with Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien taking aim at each other. David Letterman took more pot shots at Leno, and basically reveled in the whole NBC debacle. Jimmy Kimmel took Leno to task--on Leno's show!
Have You Ever Wondered Why...?
2010-01-15 04:08:00 If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.Why is it people say they ?slept like a baby? when babies wake-up like every two hours?If a deaf person has to go court, is it still called a hearing?Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?Why does a round pizza come in a square box?What did cured ham actually have?Why is ?bra? singular and ?panties? plural? --- personal finance management techniques (Personal Finance Management Guide by Marie Claire Cooper. It's all about good reading and smart information.) http://personal-finance-managem-ent.blogspot.com/
Some superb Glasgow jokes
2009-11-20 11:43:00 Thanks go to my brother Steven for sending me through some fantastic Glasgow jokes, and I've now hurried them into my Glesca Patter section on the site to give you another flavour of Glaswegian humour.A wee example for you for starters -While being interviewed for a job as a bus driver, a guy is asked:"What would you do if you had a rowdy passenger?""I'd put him off at the next stop," he says."Good. And what would you do if you couldn't get the fare?""I'd take the first two weeks in August," he replies.Now, if you don't get that, you're likely not from Scotland so don't worry (it's about the Glasgow Fair holiday, and he's saying that...ach, who cares...), but feel free to have a look at the rest - there's some real gems in there and if you've got any of your own, fire them over to me and I'll list them on the page.
President cracks jokes, defends policies on Letterman
2009-09-22 05:13:00 President Obama took a seat on David Letterman's couch Monday. CBS photo President Obama doesn't think racism is the cause of all the criticism he's faced lately. "Well, first of all, I think it's important to realize that I was actually black before the election, so ... I ...," Obama told David Letterman Monday as the "Late Show" audience interrupted with applause. "This is true. This is true." Letterman replied, "How long have you been a black man?" Obama said that his election "tells you ... a lot about where the country's at." The show was taped earlier today in New York and will air at 10:35 p.m. on CBS. During his visit, the first time a sitting president...
Gas Problem
2009-08-04 06:04:00 I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my drink and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
10 Signs You Really Are Old
2009-06-14 19:40:00 You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.Turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones.You read the obituaries to find eligible women.Old ladies offer to help you cross the street.Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.A beautiful girl walks by and nothing happens.You have all the answers but nobody is asking you the questions.You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.All the names in your little black book end with MD (mentally deficient).
Sarah Palin vs. David Letterman: Overly Sexual Jokes Scandal (Videos)
2009-06-11 16:14:00 David Letterman made several very cruel jokes about Sarah Palin and her daughter going to a Yankees game during the former VP candidate?s visit to New York City. During the opening monologue on Tuesday night (June 9), Dave said: “One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game. During the seventh inning, her daughter was ...
Bus Incident
2009-06-09 16:51:00 A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That`s the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong."The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that.""You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!""That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Chavez Jokes He Is More Right-Wing Than ?Comrade? Obama
2009-06-04 20:30:00 Chavez Jokes He Is More Right-Wing Than ‘Comrade’ Obama President Hugo Chavez claimed this week that he and his Cuban ally Fidel Castro are more conservative than left-wing U.S. President Barack Obama, referring to the American government bailout and takeover of General Motors, Reuters reported. The Venezuelan leader was giving a speech on the “curse” of capitalism ...
By: TexasFred's
The Blond Flight Attendant
2009-05-30 13:10:00 An airline captain was helping a new blond flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!""You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?"She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Double Talking Women
2009-05-22 12:46:00 A husband shows his wife a study which indicates that on the average men use 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000.The wife thinks about this and then tells her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. The husband turns from the paper and says, "What?"
Flying Turtle
2009-05-17 13:16:00 Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
Pregnant Wife
2009-05-11 09:09:00 A man frantically speaks into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" The doctor asks. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Obama?s Jokes at Correspondent?s Dinner
2009-05-11 04:58:00 A few highlights from Obama's speech. He ordered the chicken, but all he served was the roast.
By: Wanky Videos
The Jokes Write Themselves
2009-04-18 19:59:00 Some people should stick to collecting quarters. But seriously, threats like these directed at Rus Thompson are astonishing, coming from a guy bitching that he might lose his $21/hr job collecting quarters through a system that should either be (1) abolished; or (2) completely automated, given the fact that it's ...
By: BuffaloPundit
Written Job Application
2009-04-16 13:25:00 Two young men with equal qualifications apply for the same job. In order to determine which individual to hire, the manager gives them a written test. Both men score nine out of 10 on the test; however, the manager decides to go with the first applicant."Why would you do that?" asks the rejected second applicant. "We both got nine questions correct.""Your fellow applicant wrote 'I don't know' for question five. You put down, 'Neither do I.'"
Cousin Jack Falls Apart
2009-03-19 05:45:00 One friend was talking with another friend about his cousin who recently passed away. "By the time cousin Jack died he had a transplanted heart, a plastic hip joint, a plastic leg and a plastic arm.""Where did they burry him?'""Duh - they didn't bury him, he was recycled!"
Essential Desert Objects
2009-02-16 11:38:00 A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them. The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants. The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty. Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window."
I'm never very good at these riddles. I prefer knock-knock jokes.
2009-02-12 16:30:00 Riddle me this: What kind of business needs money?Answer: All kinds of businesses.Now riddle me this: What kind of business needs money and has all the time in the world to fill out paperwork, meet with bankers, develop business plans and proposals, fill out more paperwork, meet with bankers more, develop more proposals, submit background checks, fill out more paperwork, meet with bankers more, and then maybe get approved and then wait months for the money.Not many businesses I can think of meet that description -- but banks think they do, apparently, because that's what banks require in order to lend your business money. But you don't want to do all that: you want to pay your suppliers, get more inventory, hire new staff, upgrade your infrastructure, expand to a new location, give your employees health benefits now... in short, you want the money and you want to keep running your business.The Small Business Loans from OnlineCheck.com are here to help you. They'll let you ru...
300 of the Best Cow Jokes Ever free EBook
2009-01-23 16:59:00 Thought you might like to take a look a 12 pages of my Book "300 of the Best Cow Jokes Ever"The full book can be bought here at Lulu or here at cafepress. Enjoy.
Dostana - A Bundle of Sick Gay Jokes
2008-12-31 12:45:00 John Abraham, Priyanka Chopra and Abhishek Bachan’s Dostana is truly a comedy movie, which turns everything into laughter it touches, even the sensitive issue of homosexuality. It has been a success but not as big as Karan had expected it to be. Karan Johar has claimed that Dostana will be the last “Karan ...
By: Desi Galaxy
Know Any Good Valve Jokes?
2008-12-25 14:31:00 In these troubled times, as jobs go down the drain (valve), we need some relief from all the pressure. Jokes help. Alas, this is the only valve joke we can find: A car mechanic meets a famous heart surgeon and says, "I replace valves too, but all I make is minimum wage. Why do you make millions doin
Jay Leno jokes about his new 10p show!
2008-12-10 07:30:00 Jay Leno joked about his new 10p talk show that premieres in the fall on NBC tonight on his what will soon be his former show. Good for NBC for trying something new, and for 5 less hours for my DVR and millions of other peoples DVR/Tivos to have record every week. With Leno taking over ...
Jimmy Kimmel tests out his Barack Obama jokes
2008-11-23 12:49:00 President-Elect Barack Obama has two months until he takes over the White House, so Jimmy Kimmel decided to go to a barbershop to test out his jokes about the first African-American President and see which jokes are safe and which ones are a good thing that he offered Jay Leno the job of being his ...
Latest Sardar Jokes
2008-11-05 15:17:00 One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race. “What the guys are doing” asked the sardar. ” We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize” replied one runner. “Only the winner will get... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Proof John McCain is old jokes never get old!
2008-10-26 23:50:00 Last night Jimmy Kimmel reached a milestone on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, he told his 1,000,000th John McCain is old joke. Sadly 1,000,000 is still younger than John McCain’s age!!! addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fseriouslyomg.com%-2F%3Fp%3D9499'; addthis_title = 'Proof+John+McCain+is+old+jokes-+never+get+old%21'; addthis_pub = 'seriously';
Cricket Jokes Cartoons and Animations
2008-10-22 12:30:00 Blog of the Day Awards for Wednesday October 22, 2008A Blog of the Day Award goes to Cricket Jokes, cartoons and AnimationsTechnorati TagsBlog Award Blog Awards winner Bloggers Blogs Awards Blogging Bloggies Weblogs Weblog Award of the day Award web online nominations Internet Blog of the Day Awards Blog of the Day Award Blog of the Day BOTDA winners Weblog Award Weblog Awards blogspotBe sure to submit your nominations early.Thank you,Bill Austin
SO EMBARASSING(+16)
2008-09-25 19:36:00 SO EMBARASSING Mind u..these are some naughty ones!!!!!!!!!!!! Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back, or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who... Visit http://jokesrfunny.blogspot.com- for more.... |
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