Gaijin Girl

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Vote or Die!
2008-05-20 01:21:00
If I still have any readers out there, I will let you choose my next blog topic. You can give me your own topic or choose one of the ones listed below, based on events from my past. My current life is dull. The choices are:A. The humorous shenanigans and/or frightening brainwashing sessions at an Oklahoma Southern Baptist youth camp (I worked there when I was 16 and 17).B. What happened in Spring Break 2000.C. The ping pong show I witnessed in Thailand.D. Gun safety night with my drunken father.E. My junior high stalking (I was the stalker).In the meantime, enjoy this Saturday Night Live clip of the Japanese Office.
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Next Time Won't You Sing With Me
2008-04-03 15:20:00
A is for April Fools. I told my husband I was pregnant. His "heart dropped." I'm not pregnant.B is for BodyPump and BodyStep, two of the group fitness classes I recently tried. I'm nearing week three of Operation Lose Weight '08, but I have yet to lose a pound. I like BodyPump, which is pumping weights to music, but I am far too uncoordinated for BodyStep, which is stepping cutely to music. I didn't fall in BodyStep, but I stumbled over my block a few times. I was unable to bounce cutely.C is for counting calories. It's not fun.D is for David's Bridal. I do not love David's Bridal. I bought a bridesmaids dress the other day, but was unable to get a bridesmaids' discount after a twenty minute wait because the cashier couldn't find the bride's information in the system. I went back a few days later, (the information was there all along) and endured another twenty minute wait because a different cashier didn't know how to process a credit.E is for expensive, the adjective th...
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Feel the Burn
2008-03-24 13:09:00
15: pounds I've gained since moving back to America20-30: pounds I'd like to lose110: average weight of the women who work out at my gym5: days it took me to walk normally after the RPM cycling classSo I've joined a gym. Models, NFL cheerleaders and I jog side by side on treadmills (well, they jog, I walk) and pedal furiously on stationary bikes. I unknowingly joined the trendiest gym in Tampa where most of the girls, seriously, look like models. The Tampa Bay Bucaneerettes (or whatever they're called) apparently work out there as well. I have never seen so many thin, pretty girls in one place at the same time. The guys must love it.The RPM cycling class nearly killed me, even though I couldn't stand up and pedal nearly as long or as often as I was supposed to. My muscles kept twitching when I got off the bike and I thought I was going to collapse on the way back to the car. I'm going to go every week though, and it will be a proud day when I can complete the class like a norm...
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Remember Me?
2008-03-11 22:45:00
I'm still around. I've just been busy (sort of) and feel like I have nothing interesting to blog about. The new job is going well. I like the women I work with and the job responsibilities. The boss is a little strange and the other women in my department hate her. She recently went on maternity leave so I haven't had much time to judge for myself. I try to remember that the boss was the one who hired me and saved me from the horrors of job hunting, but it sounds like she's done some crappy, unethical things. She's certainly odd. She came straight to the office from the hospital with her newborn baby in order to pick up a case of Diet Dr. Pepper and some pineapple juice. She was still wearing her ID bracelets! She came back on the weekend to pick up her Lean Cuisines. The other women are sure her visits were an excuse to spy on us. Ahh, office politics.I haven't been doing much during my five weeks of employment other than working and looking forward to the weekend. When it fi...
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Random Update
2008-02-14 23:41:00
I’m feeling nostalgic today.This time last year, my husband and I had just arrived in Japan, ready for our big adventure. Crazy karaoke sessions, cherry blossom viewings, sumo wresting tournaments, sushi carousels, beer guzzling, and various bizarre experiences all lay ahead. Bankruptcy, unemployment and bouts of homesickeness were also in store. If things had gone as planned we would have returned to America only a few days ago. While I’m a little sad Nova’s bankruptcy cut our time short, I’m still glad to be back home and finally settling in. Maybe one day my husband and I will go back to visit former students and see our old license plates on the restaurant walls. My student sent me a new email about that, along with photos of the plates and my postcard on the wall. The owner even remembered my husband because he always said “delicious” and “thank you” in an overly dramatic way.The new job is going well. The work seems interesting and is in line with what I want...
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I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2008-02-06 00:39:00
A good one! One that pays well and is in a field I've been trying to break into since 2002. I never want to job hunt again. Ever! I couldn't be more thrilled to bid good riddance to Monster, CareerBuilder, HotJobs, the daily classifieds, resume and cover letters, interviews and pointless career fairs. Job hunting sucks a big one and I hope to never take a good job, or any job, for granted again. Here is the final tally:Applications Submitted: 66Interview Invitations: 5Direct Rejections: 9 (the others didn't respond at all)Time Spent Hunting: 81 daysI found the job I got in the Sunday classifieds and almost didn't apply because I didn't have experience with a certain kind of software. I think I got an interview because I was one of the first to apply and I think I got the job because I took a lot of time on the editing test. The manager said everyone bombed it but me. That's somewhat ironic because I bombed a couple of editing tests when I applied for a couple of internships in...

It's a Wonderful Life
2008-02-05 07:10:00
If you like...Gang RapesDisembowlmentsBeheadingsBloated, Rotten CorpsesExploding BodiesHeads on PikesExtreme AputationsSpurting BloodFlying IntestinesBeatingsArrows Through the HeadHangingsPigs Eating HumansTortureGenocideBullets Tearing Through ChildrenRitualistic KillingsThroat SlashingsFire BombingsPeople Being Mowed Down by Bulletsand General Annihilation.....Then you'll love the latest Rambo movie. I hated it. My husband loved it. He says it's not a "chick movie." He chuckled during the most gruesome scenes. Sometimes I think he's disturbed.
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Against the Odds
2008-02-04 07:34:00
I like to enter online sweepstakes. While filling in dozens of boring entry forms, I dream of winning international vacations, pimped out cars and loads of cash. So far I've only won a Rachel Ray refrigerator message board, but there's always hope for tomorrow. Today I was happy to find an advertisement in the paper for Nestle's American "Idol Elimination" Game. The Grand Prize is a million bucks. According to the rules, contestants must log onto americanidol.com after the Top 24 announcement show and predict which contestants will be voted off. The tricky part is that contestants must make predictions for the entire 14-week elimination period. Even though I'm not much of an Idol fan, I thought I might give it a try for a chance to win a million dollars. Then I saw the odds:1: 44,881,973,505,008,640,000That's one in 44 quintillion, 881 quadrillion, 973 trillion, 505 billion, 8 million, six hundred and forty thousand. I think I'll pass.
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The Stalker
2008-01-30 08:01:00
My husband found a Nova Usagi cell phone charm when he was taking out the trash today. The Usagi is a cross between a pink rabbit and a bird and was Nova's mascot for years. Every branch had dozens of Usagi items for sale, although no one ever seemed to buy them when I was there.I've only seen the Usagi in Japan. I searched Ebay to see if there are underground Usagi collectors in America, but only one user listed anything and he or she lives in Japan. So how in the hell did a Nova Usagi cell phone charm (I assume it's a charm) find its way to a Tampa, FL parking lot? And what are the odds a former Nova employee would find it? Very mysterious. It's stalking us.
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The Traveling License Plates
2008-01-27 22:14:00
In Japan, my husband and I used to visit an American hamburger joint called Oatman's whenever we got a craving for familiar food. Named after a Route 66 tourist attraction, Oatman's serves great burgers not unlike ones you'd find in the States. This is unusual for Japan, as many other restaurants serving foreign food often destroy it by putting raw eggs, mayonnaise or other strange ingredients on top. For example, this is what they've done to Pizza Hunt pizza.....To create a vintage American feel, the owners of Oatman's have decorated the entire restaurant with old advertisements, products and license plates from the United States. There are plastic Hamburglar toys, old concert posters and license plates from the '80s. The license plates are fake, there is a sticker from a novelty shop where the annual registration one should be, and this gave my husband and I an idea. We had a stack of our own old license plates at home, (I often had to forbid my husband from hanging them on ...
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Day in the Sun
2008-01-23 23:38:00
My husband hates it when I write entries like the one I posted yesterday. In his words they are whiny and so "woe is me." He's probably right, but that's how I deal with my frustrations. I rant and whine them out. Nevertheless, I want to try and write about more positive things so that's what I'm going to do today. Today was a good day. This morning my husband and I went to a career fair and I met an important contact. The HR woman seemed interested in my experience and qualifications, and represents a company I worked at in the past so hopefully something will develop. After the fair, my husband and I walked down to a lagoon near our apartment complex to enjoy the warm weather. He fished. I drank beer and got a tan. In January. Yea Florida! Here are some photos. Please pardon the gloating undertones. :-) Here's the entrance to the lagoon. It's literally a 15 minute walk from our front door. A few people appear from time to time, but we're usually the only ones there.Here's ...

There Was Never a Tale More Filled With Woe...
2008-01-22 20:02:00
The job hunting woes continue. I'm stuck! I haven't had any interview offers since December. My phone sits silently in my purse. My email account receives nothing but crapola job alerts from CareerBuilder and Monster. The wall of silence is maddening. I've reworked my resume and my cover letter, but no one is responding. It's very frustrating and disheartening. I check Monster, HotJobs, CareerBuilder and similar sites weekly, if not daily. I've saved the career opportunity pages of dozens of local companies in a favorites folder and check for new positions daily. I've gone to a career fair. I've put the word out about my job hunt to the few people I know but nothing has developed. Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I don't know what else to do.(where all of my resumes end up)In my worst moments I'm jealous of everyone working in my desired field. I wonder why they're successful when I'm not. I wonder why the hell I even bothered to get a degree, much less two, when neither appear...
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Random Thoughts From Someone Who Has Nothing to Do All Day
2008-01-14 21:59:00
I hate bathroom attendants. They make me feel awkward. I feel obligated to tip, even though I am perfectly capable of washing my own hands, but am too cheap to give someone a dollar for handing me a paper towel. When there is a bathroom attendant on duty I usually scurry out the bathroom without washing my hands. It's ridiculous, but true.I don't understand the Soulja Boy Superman dance craze. When did this come about? Is it new or is it something that developed when I was in Japan? The song sounds dreadful, but I kind of wish I could do the dance. Is that weird?I have no idea why Kim Kardashian is famous. Who is she? Where does she come from? Last night I had a dream she was a distant relative of mine and who would be coming to the annual family reunion. My family doesn't even have an annual family reunion.I hate not having anything to do all day, every day. I know an unlimited amount of free time sounds glorious, but it's not good for me. I get in a rut where I don't want to ...
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Derlurking Photo Fun
2008-01-12 03:58:00
Hooray for delurking!If you are a regular visitor or a fist time reader, leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Well, only if it's nice. I don't really want to read any more comments about my foolish, pedestrian blog. :-) To entice closet readers to comment, I am stealing an idea from Random Musings of My Life who borrowed it from someone else. Anyone who comments may include a request for me to take and post a photo of something and I promise to fulfill the request in the next few days. Within reason of course. No nudity. No crime. No hazardous situations. So use your imagination and be creative, but don't get carried away. I look forward to your comments and to taking the pictures. I just got a new digital camera for Christmas and need an excuse to use it.
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Update
2008-01-10 02:15:00
Sorry for the blogging delay. My husband and I have been busy moving to Tampa and settling into our apartment. Also, we've been using someone else's wireless account and the connection isn't the strongest. I'm still looking for a job and starting to get rather frustrated. I've literally applied to 47 jobs in 52 days and have only had 3 interviews. Is that normal? My main weak point, I think, is that I haven't had any professional PR experience, just internships. I refuse to go back to the insurance industry, something I do have experience in, so the only thing I can do is keep cranking out the applications. Anyone have any job hunting advice?Other than job hunting, there's not much going on. My husband and I really like living in Tampa again and the weather has been terrific. It was 80 something degrees today! We've been reconnecting with our old friends and two of our neighbors have become my husband's fishing buddies. One of them may have even gotten him a job. Damn netwo...
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Pretentious Expatriates
2007-12-24 04:31:00
While looking through my blog's tracking records, I came upon a expatriate forum for foreigners living in Japan. One of the members posted a link to my blog and he and several others posted a series of comments ridiculing me and my impressions of Japan. According to them I am ignorant, lazy, stupid, classless and mundane. The posters made these judgments by ridiculing posts I'd written before I was in Japan, by taking text out of context and by completely twisting the meanings of my words.One poster claimed I was proud that my brother had a confirmed kill in Iraq, even though I say in the entry that I am sickened by the death tolls there and sympathetic to the grief of the man's family. The majority of the attacks, however, were based on the following quote, a sentence I wrote before I left the United States: "Apparently, the Japanese use three different syllabaries or system of characters: Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. Kanji is the one with thousands of characters that foreigner...

Super Nostalgia Saturday
2007-12-22 05:17:00
Approximately two years ago, in November 2004, my husband (then boyfriend) and I moved from Tampa to Charleston. My husband had lived in Charleston before, had friends in the city and wanted to live in South Carolina. I was bored silly at my job in Florida and wanted to go to graduate school. One Master's degree, a marriage and a few international experiences later, my husband and I are moving back to Tampa, to the same apartment complex we lived in before. It's where my husband and I met and I feel like we are completing a strange circle starting and ending at Tampa and at an apartment complex called The Cove. We're picking up our keys the day after Christmas.We decided we were moving back to Tampa a couple of days ago, on the afternoon of my interview. After my nine o'clock meeting, my husband and I went to our old neighborhood (Westshore Blvd. in south Tampa) and looked at a couple of apartment complexes there. We had more or less decided on a different place, a complex a few...
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Just Another Mundane Monday
2007-12-18 02:34:00
Well, it is now Monday evening and the advertising agency in Ft. Lauderdale has not called to offer me a job. I am trying to stay positive, but I am beginning to lose hope. Before I left the office on the day of the interview, I asked, like a good little candidate, when I could expect to hear from them. Would it be a week? Two weeks? Three days? The hiring manager replied "Oh no, no, no. We'll call you by tomorrow." That would have been December 12th. On the 14th, the HR assistant emailed me and said she'd have feedback for for me on Monday. Well, as you know, today is Monday and I have not heard from them. Sigh. On a positive note, I have an interview with a Tampa public relations agency this Wednesday (the 19th), so I'll have another opportunity to obsess over. I'm not so sure about this option as the contact raved about the large amount of local talent (i.e. not me) and sent a sternly worded email informing me that she would not pay travel or relocation expenses of any kind. ...

My So-Called Early Twenties
2007-12-14 04:06:00
Recently I found an online diary that I kept when I was twenty and reading it after all these years was truly a harrowing experience. Was I really that shallow? Was I really that immature? All I appeared to care about was what boy did or did not pay me attention. My experiences are like a bad episode of My So-Called Life, except that I was six years older than Claire Danes and had less of an excuse for my awkardness. I was going to post a link to the diary, but some of the entries are just too embarassing. Sorry. Here are some highlights though. I especially like the first one."Thankfully I didn't do anybody last night, I just went to Dorothy's and passed out in the spare bedroom while she did Brad in the next room.""Yet another person told me that I looked like Brittney Spears. I asked the guy what it was about me that reminded him of her and he told me it was the sexual magnitude in my eyes.""I am a little bitter because I managed to get right along the edge of the stage and Van...
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Bienvenido a Miami?
2007-12-12 18:19:00
Yesterday I interviewed with an advertising agency in Ft. Lauderdale and it seemed to go well. They said they'd give me a call today and let me know the status. So here I wait, by the phone. It wasn't so much of a traditional interview as a time for two or three HR people to talk about the duties of the position and for me to nod enthusiastically. I literally spent hours formulating answers to every interview question imaginable, yet they didn't ask much in the way of my qualifications or past experiences. I especially focused on the behavioral questions that I hate so much. You know, like "tell me about a time you overcame a challenge" or "tell me about a time when you didn't perform to the best of your abilities," but they didn't ask anything like that. They were more interested in my Japan experience than anything else. The whole thing was much more casual than I expected, which is good I guess. I feel pretty confident about my chances right now, but don't want to assume an...
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Limbo is More Fun as a Party Game
2007-12-07 19:35:00
Sorry I haven't written in awhile, but I really don't have much to say. We've been home a little over three weeks and we're still staying with the in-laws, we're still looking for jobs and we're still broke. Friends tell me to enjoy the free time because working sucks, and I know the feeling, but it's hard to enjoy endless free time when you have no money and are dependent on someone else for food and shelter. I know this won't last forever but I'm I'm tired of living in limbo. However, on the upside, there are much worse limbos to live in than scenic beach houses with mother-in-laws that cook, clean and give you cars. I'm sure you're all devastated for me.I've applied to approximately 25 jobs and have only heard back from one company. Of course, this is mostly my fault as I'm not really qualified for the majority of jobs I applied to. I suppose I hoped employers would be so dazzled by my two degrees and three internships that they'd waive the 2-5 years of experience ...
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A Journal in Job Hunting
2007-11-28 21:59:00
I've started a new blog about my job hunt. If you're interested the link is...http://thewoesofjobhunting.blogspot. com/I still plan to maintain this blog, but didn't want it dominated by job hunting entries. My last job hunt was such a process I thought it would be interesting to chronicle my current one. Plus, every one's been there at one time or another and perhaps I'll get some good advice, encouragement, and of course, comments from fellow bitchers.
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Cha, Cha, Cha, Changes...
2007-11-25 01:08:00
My husband and I have been back in the U.S. for eleven days now and while it's good to be back, it's different. In Japan, we frequently went out for long, drunken nights of dinner and karaoke with other people our age and now we live on a island more or less inhabited by retired people and go to bed at 9 or 10 o'clock. In Japan, everyone has black hair. Here there are blonds everywhere. Every time I see a girl with light, blond hair I think about what a hit she'd be in Japan. In Japan, I had to look at the digital display to find out the total of my purchases. Now I can just listen. The biggest differences are in the smallest things.We're currently staying at my husband's parents' beach house in Beaufort, South Carolina and though it's a pretty, peaceful place, it's not particularly exciting. I fill my days reading and applying for jobs online. My husband fills his fishing and building things for his mother. Oddly, Japan seems like a strange, distant dream at times. I do mi...

Back in Black
2007-11-16 14:27:00
We're back. And my lord that was a long trip! 26 hours from our Japanese apartment to my brother-in-law's condo in Greenville, SC. On the last leg of our trip our flight was delayed two hours because the toilet wouldn't flush. This following a five hour layover following a ten hour flight. You gotta love air travel sometimes.But we're back and it's good. I've enjoyed several little things that most Americans wouldn't think twice about. For example, a Route 44 Vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic, Judge Judy and Cops on TV, children speaking English. Even the obnoxious car commercials on the radio give me warm, fuzzy feelings (NO PAYMENTS UNTIL 2008!!!) I guess I missed America more than I thought.So now is when we start to get our lives back together, i.e. jobs, cars, our own place. Right now we're staying at my in-laws' sweet beach house, which is nice, and they're giving us a car which is even nicer, so our main objective now is to find jobs. We're planning to live in either C...
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Sayonora...
2007-11-12 08:34:00
Well, it's over. We've attended our farewell parties, said our goodbyes and packed (most of) our things. Tonight is our last night in Japan and this will be the last blog entry I write in the country. We've made some great friends from around the world and have had many unforgettable experiences. My husband and I will never forget our time here.Goodbye Japan.Goodbye young, Japanese guys with big hair.Goodbye wild, all-you-can-drink karaoke nights.Goodbye green haired old ladies.Goodbye to the phrase "go to shopping."Goodbye ridiculous television.Goodbye bathroom slippers in public restrooms.Goodbye street beers.Goodbye fish head, raw sea urchin, fried cartilage, raw horse meat sushi and other terrifying foods.Goodbye balcony view of Mt. Fuji.Goodbye sushi carousels.Goodbye singing songs about triangles to uninterested two-year-olds.Goodbye server summoning buttons.Goodbye not having to tip for everything. Or anything.Goodbye to instantly standing out in a crowd.Goodbye random ear...