my sudden turn at Blue mosque Sultan Ahmet in Istamy sudden turn at Blue mosque Sultan Ahmet in IstaAnd it was our second time coming to the place because we ask dad if this time we can visit the Blue mosque Sultan Ahmet in Istanbul. 
Articles
you got me seeing the thing that i’ve been hoping to find, you g
2009-09-17 20:09:00 If you’re anything like me, Internet — and we both know you aren’t, but hope someday you will be and to be honest with you, I don’t think you’re smart enough to come anywhere close — you’re probably wondering how long it’s going to take before that dead Patrick Swayze starts bugging poor Whoopi while she’s trying to host that show with all the old women and that one cute chick that all the hippies hate because she’s a Conservative and bathes regularly or whatever. Because you just know he’s going to do it at some point. So the funniest thing happened to me yesterday. I had stopped by the Circle K — you know, the one on the corner of Airline and Goodwood — on my way to work to pick up some Pop Rocks and Snapple for breakfast, and when I saw the cashier was of Middle Eastern descent, I did my civic duty as a tax-paying American citizen who loves his country and apple pie (but can’t seem to g... More About: Find , Thing
god knows i’m not a baby, but sometimes everybody needs a friend
2009-09-10 21:55:00 Listen up, Internet: I know you’re all so proud of yourselves because of how that Obama of yours told everyone that the Mexicans won’t get to take part in the socialized healthcare, and in doing so, reached some common ground with the Republicans (that being the common ground of racism). But don’t be so smug, hippies, because for one thing, it’s unbecoming. And besides, do you really want sick Mexicans coughing and sneezing all over the fruits and vegetables they’re out in the fields picking for $1.25 an hour? Yeah, maybe you can wash Hector’s germs off that cucumber before you cut it up and put it in your salad, but you know as well as I do that sometimes you just forget. [note: also, i have it on fairly high authority that it doesn’t technically count as racism if it’s against mexicans.] [note: and by “fairly high authority” i mean jesus.] [note: that’s “jesus” with a strong “j,&rdqu... More About: Baby , Friend
red snappers snappin’, clam shells clappin’
2009-09-03 20:58:00 I know you’re keeping score at home, Internet, so go ahead and add “old women with really long hair” to the list of things I’m coming out against when I run for president, on the basis of their being gross and/or creepy. I say “and/or” because some of the items on the list are one or the other, but not necessarily both gross and creepy. Like old women with really long hair are. And since I know you’re pretty disorganized (as dirty hippies tend to be) and likely misplaced your copy of my list, and also you probably misspelled a lot of the words on it because you’re stupid (as dirty hippies tend to be), and since I have a soft-spot for some of you hippies (i.e. the cute ones that bathe and shave their pits and sometimes don’t wear bras), here’s the list: Things I’m Coming Out Against when I Run for President, on the Basis of Their Being Gross and/or Creepy Old women with really long hair. Men in shorts. C...
special favors come in thirty-one flavors; we’re out of mints, p
2009-08-27 16:49:00 Question: How much cock would a cockblock block, if a cockblock could block cock? Answer: As much cock as a cockblock could, if a cockblock’s a five year-old. Welcome back, Internet. I know you missed me, but you could have always added me on the Facebook and challenged me in a game of Scramble if you needed a little you and me time. But now I’m blogging again, so get off my back already. I spent the past week-and-change learning pretty much everything there is to know about parenting a child. I’ll probably write a book on the subject, but since you’re all a bunch of hippies (i.e. poor (and dirty)) and would just go check it out from the library instead of buying it, I’m seriously considering not writing it after all. To spite you. Here’s a list of some of the things I’ve learned: Lesson Learned #1: Kids are gross and messy. Lesson Learned #2: No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to tell which one is Z... More About: Special , Flavors
it could be a spoonful of coffee, could be a spoonful of tea, but a little
2009-08-18 18:30:00 I think a good blog name for a fat goth chick would be “Morbid Obesity.” Okay, so listen up, Internet: I know you’re all a bunch of liberal hippies, what with your incense and your black light posters and your Palin hate and all, and you’ve gotten so worked up over stupid socialized health care that you run around screaming and flailing your arms about, so much so that some of the patchouli oil flung off your dirty hippie body and got into my eye earlier, right into my eye it went and now I’m as blind in that eye as my dog is after Kristin’s cat scratched him. And I know you say you’re for the socialized health care because you want the children to be healthy, or because your horoscope told you to be for it or because your father is against it and you still resent him after all these years or because Phish sang about it in a song or whatever. But I see through you, Internet, and as the beacon of honesty and integrity as I’ve... More About: Coffee
i like you so much better when you’re naked, i like me so much b
2009-08-10 19:20:00 I’m no farmer, but are cucumbers supposed to look like giant green testicles? It’s been a long and exciting 14 months, Internet, but now that I’m entering the final few days of my quote/unquote bachelor life, I thought I’d take a few minutes to share with you some of the knowledge I’ve gained in my time living alone. So when you inevitably get divorced — and you will — and you wind up trying to take care of your house and home all by yourself, you’ll have a leg-up on the competition. Lesson Learned #1:Sometimes it’s funny to write out “quote/unquote” instead of just putting the word in quotation marks. Lesson Learned #2:Your cat will, always and without fail, become overly affectionate with you while you’re trying to masturbate. Lesson Learned #3:Frozen chicken strips, frozen fries (crinkle cut, because they just taste better), and Stubb’s barbecue sauce make for a well-balanced meal, as many as ...
next stop: atlantic avenue. next stop: christopher street. next stop: trans
2009-08-04 21:32:00 Here, Internet: I wrote you a few haiku that I sincerely hope you’ll read and then read again, then maybe print out and tape to your bathroom mirror so you can spend the appropriate amount of time reflecting on them, the “call to action” in particular. I might like you more if, after reading this poem, you showed me your boobs. While you’re taking pics, know I’d also like to see your ass and/or vag. Don’t spread your legs, though; I’m looking for sexy, not biology class. You can send the photos to norris93 at the gmail, and I’ll look at them at my leisure. More About: Street , Stop , Trans , Avenue , Atlantic
all those hookers in their fucking car; 12-stepping hippies hanging out at
2009-07-28 15:49:00 Okay, so I know that I don’t typically write about anything too personal here, Internet, and generally that’s because it’s none of your goddamned business. Go out and get a life of your own. But I had a very sad devastating thing happen to me recently, the kind of thing that turns your life upside down. So I thought I’d open myself up and share it with you, and let you comfort me in my time of need. Be my rock, Internet. Okay. Here goes: I was flying to New York last week, and when I checked in, I found out I wasn’t going to be upgraded to First Class. [note: brief pause to let it sink in.] I know! I had to sit in an uncomfortably tiny little seat with no free meal and no free beer and no free hand job (that’s why they close the little curtain, you know, so you don’t see the wealthy getting the free hand jobs). And the worst part about it is I had to endure these inhumane conditions while sitting next to stupid poor people! The h... More About: Hippies , Fucking , Hookers
there’s a part of you that i can see, below the throat and above
2009-07-14 18:25:00 Sorry if I seem a little lethargic today, Internet. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t been able to get much sleep lately, on account of all the stress and anxiety I’m experiencing due to the total and complete lack of any flight upgrade notifications in the old inbox. You can’t seriously expect me to sit in coach, Delta. What if a poor person touches me?!?!? Get your goddamned head in the goddamned game! And damn you too, LinkedIn, for buzzing the blackberry at 4:00 AM and waking me up with the false hope of a cushy seat with lots of legroom and free beer, when really you were just taunting me with info that some guy who in the grand scheme of things is pretty insignificant is now contacts with some other guy who is probably even more insignificant but I stopped reading before I could decide for certain because I was too sad. I did manage to doze off for a few minutes, just long enough to dream that I was dating Olivia Munn, who tried to write &ldq... More About: Part
all game, no plot; talk it down, walk it off
2009-07-07 18:19:00 Sorry for barely managing to blog once per week. I know you count on me as a diversion from your sad lives and in that regard I’ve let you down, but the fact of the matter is that I just can’t be bothered with your narcissism right now. I just don’t care, haven’t ever but especially now with what happened to the Billy Mays and all. Tragedy always brings out the poet in me, so here: Hey you! Billy Mays! I’ve got your Awesome Auger right here in my pants. Your black hair and beard were just a tad too shiny for a man your age. Turns out, Orange Clean is not a product for me to wash my red pubes with. And with that, I’m off to stream a little softcore porn steamy romance through my Xbox via the Netflix. Buh-bye. More About: Talk , Game , Walk
my conscience is on vacation in acute degeneration, willpower has sunk to a
2009-07-02 17:43:00 It won’t be after I put my dick in it. Here’s something you may not know, Internet: sitting around all week while on jury duty, waiting for hours upon hours to be called in and told to spit out your gum and asked how much you hate the blacks and also the jews, is a lot like an all-day trip to the DMV, possibly to have your car’s title and registration placed solely in your name after you get divorced. Except with jury duty, you’re able to pass the time daydreaming that maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to send someone to the chair by week’s end. Fingers crossed! Here’s a haiku I wrote about an experience I had outside city hall: It’s not that I can’t spare the thirty-three cents, hobo; I just choose not to. I know I ended that last line with a preposition, but haiku is a Japanese art form, and Engrish is far less grammatically rigid. More About: Conscience , Vacation
i see a child! now i’m blind! where did she go? oh no!
2009-06-22 17:55:00 Hey hobos! Now you too can take a leak in the comfort and privacy of your own home! So, happy belated Father’s Day, internet. I twittered yesterday that I was celebrating it because I’m your daddy, but I’ve given it some thought and I take that back, since you’ve stopped answering my “who’s your daddy?” calls (and accompanying slaps to the ass) now that we’ve incorporated the ball-gag into the mix. Still, spending Father’s Day alone, looking at photos of a baby some friends had on Friday, gave me some time to reflect on my life, and how I really hope that, some day, I have someone to share holidays like this with. I want to have a baby. I want to have a baby in the worst way. Up the butt. I also spent the weekend setting up not one, not two, but three Topsy Turvy planters. It’s a vegetable wonderland! Vegunderland. I was excited about it and admit to getting a little carried away with the thought of... More About: Child , Blind
it’s green and itchy but i don’t mind; when it&rsqu
2009-06-17 18:49:00 I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, On the Run convenience stores, but a gas station hot dog technically only qualifies as a “vacation from your day” if you mean that you’ll be spending the better part of the afternoon away from your desk, on the toilet. Don’t forget to reserve a seat in the spacious handicap stall! Or maybe if this daycation of yours also includes plans for a side-trip to the Rite Aid to pick up some Imodium, but I’m not 100% sure that qualifies so I’ll have to check the handbook and get back to you. I did a bunch of ironing last night and wrote you a haiku about it: Hey you! Kenneth Cole! That “wrinkle-free” tag of yours is a crock of shit. The funny thing about me ironing my own shirts is that I’m not even a woman! I’m a rebel like that, the kind you always wished you could bring home to piss off your dad, and your mom would say things like “he’s bad news” but a... More About: Green , Mind , Itchy
take off your drawers, throw ’em in the corner, i can’t
2009-06-08 17:16:00 No matter how much you beg and plead, Internet, I just cannot seem to force myself to refer to midgets as “little people.” Because I find it’s only half-true. So I went to the Babies’r’us this weekend to buy a gift for a friend, and after printing their registry list and walking around the store, looking at tiny little shoes and tiny little hats and tiny little blankets with teddy bears on them, something came over me and I never thought it would but I’ll be damned if it didn’t. I want a baby. So I bought one. And I know you’re thinking that’s a pretty major purchase for me to have made so nonchalantly and all spur-of-the-moment like. But don’t you go worrying your pretty little head, Internet. It was on clearance. Asian female. Overstock, I suppose, but I don’t care because hey, free mani/pedis for life. And hopefully some day, she’ll grow to love me. For a long time. Right? Right. Know what else I love a... More About: Corner , Throw
min is mine, not thine; it’s kitten time at the great crystal sh
2009-06-01 16:48:00 I’ve been traveling a lot lately, and you know as well as I do that once you’ve taken your seat and are drinking a complimentary Leinenkugel’s (it tastes like orange candy!) while the poor people board, that you can only make fun of the fires of jealousy burning in their eyes as they shuffle back to coach for so long before you get bored of them and start to think. I personally like to use this post-making-fun-of-the-poor time to brainstorm new million-dollar ideas, and let me just say that yesterday I came up with a doozy: A brand-new social networking/micro-blogging site, just for women. Called Twatter. I also took some time to reflect on why it takes you poor people so long to board the plane, because that’s been a mystery to me for so long and I even asked a poor person one time what gives but I couldn’t take the smell so I had to leave before he could answer. Anyway, so yesterday I realized that it takes you longer to board because you bri... More About: Time , Great , Crystal , Mine , Kitten
jump over all the barrels and let out a little scream; duck underneath the
2008-06-04 18:52:00 Dear Internet, As I am without anything of substance to write today, please accept the following as a haiku quintet honoring a man of the people, an entrepreneur who strives for perfection in everything he does, a man who — no matter what he says — it draws controversy (sort of like the abortion issue), a messiah to nerds everywhere as the Donkey Kong world record holder and, most importantly, a real American hero: Billy Mitchell. USA! USA! patriotic ties hanging from the neck of a real american. barrel-jumping skills the blueprint for your success to best that monkey. the record stolen shortly thereafter, regained in your face, weibe. billy, oh billy, your glorious hair blowing in the arcade breeze. never has a beard filled me with so much desire to clutch a joystick. It’s funny. If “funny” is the right word. Which it isn’t. More About: Scream , Jump , Duck
gimme a swaller and i’ll pay you back someday
2008-06-02 18:36:00 I thought about you this weekend, Internet. I was having some takeout Chinese food and after I finished my spicy orange chicken (house specialty #A3) I opened up my fortune cookie and it said “you find beauty in ordinary things.” And I’m pretty sure by “ordinary” it meant “you.” [note: and by “beauty” it probably meant “porn.” probably.] Here’s something that has come up recently with which I take much umbrage: in the commercials for that new Billy Ray Montana show where they appear to take all these hillbillies and have ’em sing hillbilly songs — like “Dooley” or “Don’t Mess with My Toot Toot” or whatever the devil it is the hillbillies sing when they’re blowing into a moonshine jug while walking barefoot to the fishin’ hole — and then judge them on which one has the purtiest voice, it says something about country being “America’s mus... More About: Back , Gimme
so we came upon a cracker, and we all came on this cracker, and the last on
2008-05-29 20:29:00 A word to the wise, Internet: no matter how soft and silky that exfoliating body scrub may make your skin feel when used twice a week as per directions on the back of the bottle, it is not — repeat, not — to be used on or near your balls. Trust me on this, and you are wont to do regardless but occasionally need some reassurance. Here’s a haiku: little gritty bits lathered up in the shower will chafe your scrotum But my Wii Fit age is 32, so stick it. [note: the humor-blogs gets dead skin cells all over the place.] More About: Cracker
toil, toil, toil ’til i get sick, i try reverse but i’m
2008-05-20 16:58:00 Call me old fashioned, but I like it when I see a fat girl who’s not ashamed of her body, who flaunts her girth as if she’s proud of it, as if she ate all those Twinkies on purpose and with the sole intent of gaining eight hundred pounds of buttery, larded sex appeal. She says things like “real women have curves” and “more cushion for the pushin’,” her greasy pores all the while staining the spandex shorts she ought not be wearing as the glare from the sun reflects off the bottom of the belly creeping ever so gently from beneath her tank top, blinding the other shoppers at the outlet mall who knew full well the price they might have to pay for discount Liz Claiborne cargo pants yet chanced it anyway. I like it when a fat girl proclaims that she’s big and beautiful, that those skinny model girls are the abnormal and unnatural and unattractive ones, that it takes a real man to love a real woman. You go girl. But you’re w... More About: Sick
toil, toil, toil ’til i get sick, i try reverse but i’m
2008-05-20 16:58:00 Call me old fashioned, but I like it when I see a fat girl who’s not ashamed of her body, who flaunts her girth as if she’s proud of it, as if she ate all those Twinkies on purpose and with the sole intent of gaining eight hundred pounds of buttery, larded sex appeal. She says things like “real women have curves” and “more cushion for the pushin’,” her greasy pores all the while staining the spandex shorts she ought not be wearing as the glare from the sun reflects off the bottom of the belly creeping ever so gently from beneath her tank top, blinding the other shoppers at the outlet mall who knew full well the price they might have to pay for discount Liz Claiborne cargo pants yet chanced it anyway. I like it when a fat girl proclaims that she’s big and beautiful, that those skinny model girls are the abnormal and unnatural and unattractive ones, that it takes a real man to love a real woman. You go girl. But you’re w... More About: Sick
other rappers diss me, say my rhymes are sissy
2008-05-12 19:32:00 Happy belated Mother’s Day, Internet, to all you MILFs out there in particular. If you aren’t sure whether or not you qualify, here’s a quick and easy test: Go look in the mirror. Are you fat? If the answer is “yes,” then the answer is “no.” Cappice? After all, it’s MILF, not MBGLF*. The “I” is key, and you must never forget as much. [note: “black guys”] But if you still aren’t sure, send me some photos and I’ll tell you. The nakeder, the better. But please please please take the test first. Hey Chicago! Remember that time last week when I saw the entrance for your pink line? And I got excited but when I went down I opted to ride your brown line instead, over and over for what seemed like an eternity? I enjoyed the ride so much that, when I did finally get off, I hadn’t even noticed that at some point along the way I’d transferred over to the red line. Get what I’m saying? OM... More About: Diss , Rappers , Rhymes
give my heart just a word of sympathy, be as fair to my heart as you can b
2008-05-02 19:50:00 Say what you want, Internet, but I really do believe that, were it me keeping my daughter chained up in the basement for the purpose of having the sex and also probably to hang out with and play the Guitar Hero in co-op mode and watch an odd Father Knows Best re-run now and then, I really doubt I’d have carried the relationship on for 24 years. Call me old fashioned, but once she hit 35 I’d have been all “look babe, I’m sorry but you’re just not doing it for me, what with your premature aging brought on by living in the dark with no exercise or vitamins or fresh air.” How could I not, particularly with my 19-year-old granddaughter grunting and growling her nubile Austrian ass around the basement? A man has needs! [note: gdilf.] Oh sure, I’d have stayed around awhile for the sake of the kids. Always for the kids. But that’s because I’m a man of responsibility and integrity and especially compassion. You could learn a thi... More About: Word , Heart , Fair , Give
you have an expertise that’s like a real disease, such a strong
2008-04-28 20:03:00 I hate being the bearer of bad news, Hartford, CT, but I’ve been wrought with guilt these past few days over a trick I unintentionally played on you last week, and I feel compelled to come clean: Jesus is not, in fact, my homie. Not really, nor has he been for quite some time. I know the hat I was wearing led you to believe the contrary and prompted the “hey, I like your hat” brand of compliments you showered me with upon my arrival, but you were unwittingly deceived. The hat is a joke, a clever gag to those who know me. He isn’t even real, the Jesus. Get it? OMFGLMAO. But hindsight being 20/20, I suppose I concede that sarcasm translates poorly in both email and novelty trucker caps. True, the use of ALL CAPS should have clued you in, but you never were the brightest taco in the combination platter. And for that I do apologize. Sorry to disappoint, Hartford. I’ll understand if you want to break things off. [note: jesus loves the humor-blogs.] More About: Disease , Real , Strong
and if i pointless arch, and spit white nothings at the sky…
2008-04-17 17:03:00 Sorry about the whole “not blogging all that much” thing, Internet, but the past few weeks I just haven’t been myself. I’ve been George Hamilton, hanging out with Imelda Marcos and eating Ritz crackers and watching Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles for the bajillionth time (it’s a skunk, you silly Brit!), all the while goading your young to pursue the “healthy” tan. My, what a healthy tan. Hey Internet! Wanna know how to make fun of the retardeds and get away with it? Step 1: Make fun of the retardeds. [note: i like to hold my arm close to my body with my wrist bent and make noises.] Step 2: When people give you their scornful looks complete with furrowed brow, tell them this: “Scorn me not, mother, for it’s not that I’m making fun of the retardeds but, rather, I’m pretending to be a retarded so I can better understand their plight.” That will most assuredly shut their smug mouths, as the guilt of false accusatio... More About: White , Spit , Pointless
your spirit pokes me, your smile provokes me
2008-04-07 19:54:00 So I went to the Sam’s this weekend to pick up some Hogan’s Heroes DVDs and a five-gallon bucket of pickles to cut up and put into some potato salad I was making (since relish just isn’t the same thing (and I really, really love potato salad (I make it with love (and potatoes)))), when I saw this. OMGLOL. Just kidding. It’s not funny. I mean, hey old man: really? You sure about that? Also this weekend, I found out that that Vanessa Hudgens girl is coming to the local water park this summer to sing or perform skits or whatever the devil it is people like her get famous for doing. I’m not really into the Hannah Montana myself, but I’m thinking about going because — and you’re probably not going to believe me about this, but I swear it’s true and it’s on the Wiki and everything — I hear she likes to show off the big bushes. That may be the one single area where retro hasn’t made it back in vogue, the big... More About: Smile , Spirit
i will carry the torch for you, my sole purpose is to torture you
2008-04-01 16:15:00 You know, Internet, sometimes I really wish I were black so I could go to way-cool family reunions and then wear the commemorative t-shirts to all my usual hangouts like the Wal-Mart or outside the Circle K or as a guest on Oprah’s Big Fat Show. I’d drink artificial fruit-flavored sodas and vote for Obama, and I bet I could get away with talking during movies, too, because it’s generally safe to assume the whiteys know better than to step to this. And the bling. Oh my god with the bling. Right? Right. I figure I’d still pronounce milk correctly, though. Because I don’t believe in perpetuating stereotypes. APRIL FOOLS!!!! OMGLOL!!!! I wouldn’t really vote for Obama. [note: whatever you do, don’t visit the humor-blogs.] More About: Purpose , Torture , Sole , Torch , Carry
private eyes are watching you, they see your every move
2008-03-28 19:40:00 Hey there, Internet. I’d say sorry for being away for so long, but I just got back from the New York and I had such a great time that saying “sorry for being away for so long” would be a lie from the very pits of hell. And I don’t lie. Not as a habit, anyway. While there, I saw the Knicks play a game they actually won, and I got to boo Isiah Thomas with approximately fifteen thousand other disgruntled Knick fans. What fun! But then at halftime they brought out some of the cripples to play crippled basketball, and that was a bit much. I mean, really: I’m glad they have recess at the Special Ed, but I didn’t pay some guy on the street $60 for his extra ticket to watch it. Right? Right. Other than that, New York was phenomenal. I had such an amazing time that I was even kind of happy my flight home got canceled due to the inspections. The rescheduling afforded me another few hours to hang out in the city and enjoy some of its world-famous, second-h... More About: Eyes , Move , Private , Watching
nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, panic spreading far and wide…
2008-03-20 01:32:00 No matter how hard I try, I’ve found that I simply cannot read Baltasar Gracián without thinking about Battlestar Galactica at some point along the way. Am I right, people? OMGLOL. I’m referring to the old version from the 70’s, mind you, and not the new one. Because retro is cool, but you aren’t. Not really. So I was in the Wal-Mart this morning to pick up a lime squeezer and some astringent which was meant to be a gift for you because of your acne but now I’ve blown the surprise so I’m taking it back and you’ll have to suffer our continued ridicule (pizza the hutt), when I saw how The Man has re-released G.I. Joe action figures. Joy! I bought me a Cobra Commander to spread mayhem and destruction all over my desk at work, but it must have slipped my mind that a good manager delegates. I learned that in the management seminar I went to, so re: the mayhem and destruction: no can do. But never fear, we’ve got a plan: I&rs... More About: Wide , Panic , Hide
i may make you feel, but i can’t make you think
2008-03-18 02:30:00 [note: this is a repost from a couple of years ago, because i’m lazy like that. blow me.] So, today is St. Patrick’s Day or, as it’s known in some circles, My Religion is Better Than Yours Day. I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, for the same reasons I also don’t celebrate the birthdays of Robert Tilton, Benny Hinn, or Jan Crouch. [note: reverend ike, on the other hand, i choose to celebrate daily. for the others, maybe when they die i’ll find cause to party.] If you aren’t Irish or Catholic, the only reason I can fathom for you to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day is the opportunity to drink. A lot. Like the amateur drunk that you are. You’re also probably a big fan of Mardi Gras and New Year’s Eve, when you feel you’re allowed to get belligerent because the calendar says it’s okay. And the difference between “date rape” and “making love” to you is directly related... More About: Make , Feel
gum acacia, hydrogenated oil, potato starch… bring to a boil!
More articles from this author:2008-03-15 01:51:00 Call me old fashioned, but do we really need a study on how fat fatties have more of the breast cancer than regular women? There’s generally more boob on your average big, disgusting fat chick than on your average normal chick, so it just makes sense that the cancer would prefer a more spacious abode. It’s logic, really. And besides, in lieu of a healthy diet and exercise, mastectomies are a proven weight loss solution. So score one for the sweat hogs! Or two! Reach for the stars! You can do it! [note: not really. omglol.] More About: Potato 1, 2, 3, 4 |
|
 |
|
 |
