The Diary of An English Courtesan

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The Courtesan's Awards Ceremony
2007-07-07 15:33:00
The time has come, the Walrus said?for the English Court esan?s mini-awards ceremony!Those of you who read the blog on Wednesday will know that the English Courtesan was thrilled to be awarded a Rockin? Girl Blogger Award by the fabulous flame-haired beauty Catherine in this post here. For those of you who haven?t met Catherine, she?s the distinguished authoress of A Week In The Life Of A Redhead and she?s hilarious, so do pop over for a slice of her best burnt toast.The bad news for those who are keen to hasten the end of The Wife's Tale is that the English Courtesan also received three more tags this week! She loves tags and she particularly loves tags like these, as they came from such fabulous sources. The first is from the appropriately blue 'pay for play' Chevalier, the second from the deliciously pervy Ptr Leeds In Wonderland and the third from the spiritually soothing and saucy Pammm at My Sacred Spiritual Dance.The answers will follow shortly but in the meantime back to o...
More About: Awards , Blogging , Ceremony , Ward

The Courtesan & The Wife - Part II
2007-07-04 16:06:00
The English Court esan is thrilled to have been the lucky recipient of a Rockin? Girl Blogger Award this week, bestowed upon her by Catherine, AKA the gorgeous goddess who writes A Week In The Life Of A Redhead! So do watch this space ? the English Courtesan?s own mini-awards ceremony will follow shortly but in the meantime she hopes the readers will pop over to visit her new flame-haired friend... In the meantime, back to the tale of The Courtesan and The Wife ! The next day, the English Courtesan received a call from a landline number she didn?t recognise. The English Courtesan?s number is a closely guarded secret and she always recognises her clients? numbers. This wasn?t one of them. The area code was that of Leeds, which just happens to be where Roger?s Wife works?Waah oogley-woogley waah ooh! [Livvy?s ringtone, which once again loses something in the retelling]English Courtesan: Not here, not here, not here? [mutters to self, peering nervously at phone skittering across desk]Waa...
More About: Books , Blogging , Part

The Courtesan And The Geisha
2007-06-30 14:27:00
Oh no, my lovelies, it?s not here today, it?s here?this week?s scandalous news is that the English Court esan is at the Okiya where she has been arranging Dragonfly's teacups! 'Teacups' is of course a euphemism as is 'dunking one's biscuit' . Never let it be said that the English Courtesan doesn?t teach her readers new things? ;-)The English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
More About: Isha , The G , Geisha

The Courtesan & The Wife
2007-06-27 19:06:00
The painting is The Arnolfini Portrait by Jan Van Eyck which is in the National Gallery in London. It was painted in 1434 but its themes are peculiarly relevant to today's post...read on if you dare...It had to happen. This morning the English Court esan had her first call from an angry wife. It went like this:Waah oogley-woogley waah ooh! [Livvy?s ringtone, which loses something in the retelling]English Courtesan: Hello Roger! What are you doing up at this time of night, you naughty boy? [Time: 3am]Wife : It?s not Roger. It?s his wife, you f*cking b*tch.English Courtesan: [sound of gulped air]Wife: Who are you, his girlfriend?English Courtesan: [sound of gulped air]Wife: She hung up! The b*tch! The f*cking b*tch! She hung up on me!English Courtesan: [sound of gulped air]At which point the f*cking b*tch, AKA Livvy, AKA the English Courtesan, did indeed hang up on The Wife.To be continued?Technorati Tags: Courtesans, courtesan, escorts, escort, wife, wivesThe English Courtesan...naugh...
More About: Personal

The English Courtesan On Chastity...
2007-06-23 15:54:00
Further to the English Court esan's post on niqabs and crosses in the workplace, it seems the issue of what not to wear in schools or at work is rearing its head again, this time with a sexuality angle...A teenage girl whose school banned her from wearing a Christian 'purity ring' is taking her case to the High Court in London. Lydia Playfoot (stop sniggering at the back there - the English Courtesan can see you), a 16 year old who attends the all-girls Millais School in Horsham, West Sussex, says the non-denominational school 'does not afford equal rights to Christians'. She points to the fact that although jewellery is forbidden in the School rules, Muslims are permitted to wear hijabs (headscarves) and Sikhs are allowed to wear kara (bangles). Christians however are not allowed to wear crucifixes or rings. The photo is courtesy of The Telegraph and shows Lydia and her ring.For those of the English Courtesan's readers who haven't encountered the concept of the 'purity ring...

The RUF CTR3
2007-06-20 14:25:00
‘RUF! RUF! RUF!’ barked the English Courtesan! Our regular programming schedule on 'How To Be An Escort' is interrupted by the breaking news that the English Courtesan has traded in her Pagani Zonda for a RUF CTR3…OK, OK, so the English Courtesan hasn’t actually got one of either, but this is trading in on an emotional rather than material level. Just look at that photo – is not the RUF CTR3 the finest beast on 4 wheels that you have seen in your life?As all you motor car enthusiasts will know, RUF is famous for making high performance super souped-up versions of Porsches. However they get quite indignant if you ask them about potential links between Porsche and the CTR3 as they're an independent company and the CTR3 is all their own work. The CTR3 was initially rumoured to be based on the Porsche Cayman but RUF says this was just a nasty rumour and in fact they only nicked the tailights of the Cayman.RUF's greatest triumph to date has arguably been the CTR Yellow Bird...

Taking Payment As A Courtesan Or Escort
2007-06-15 15:54:00
Brace yourselves, my lovelies - it's a long one today, but the English Court esan hopes that the readers like long ones as much as she does...ahem...as it were... ;-) Further to the post on international rates for courtesans and escorts, the English Courtesan has been flooded with emails about the best way of taking card payments and deposits. The tenuous link with the photo, which was once again taken by the English Courtesan's own fair hand, is that money doesn't grow on trees and that as a courtesan or escort you need a way of taking payment. That really is a quite incredibly tenuous link though so perhaps the English Courtesan should just confess that there really isn't a link and she just thought the readers might like to see some nice trees in fog in Yorkshire.Please note before you read on that the English Courtesan is totally unqualified to offer financial advice of any kind to escorts, courtesans, or indeed anyone else. This is only based on her own experience of payment...
More About: Payment , Taking , Cort

Fine Ferns & Fornicating Fillies
2007-06-13 13:52:00
The picture shows some fine ferns which were photographed by the English Courtesan's own fair hand. That wasn't just an excuse for alliteration, much as the English Courtesan is fond of fabulous phrasing, but the frou-frou fronds of the ferns are in fact relevant to today's post... In response to a comment from the delightful Ex-Courtesan Gillette on 'Angry Courtesans & Escorts - Part II', the English Courtesan mentioned another of her favourite poems, Fern Hill by Dylan Thomas. So today she thought she'd share it in all its glory with the readers, along with the above photograph of a Mystery Moor In Yorkshire .Fern Hill was written in 1945 and was published in 'Deaths and Entrances', Dylan Thomas' fourth collection of poetry, in 1946. It's a long poem but the English Courtesan hopes you'll read to the end as the last two stanzas are arguably some of the most glorious and memorable poetry that has come out of the British Isles.By way of a tenuous link to the topic in hand,...
More About: Personal , Books , Poetry , Fine

Angry Escorts & Courtesans - Part II
2007-06-09 02:27:00
The English Court esan is away this weekend, hence the early bird post, but she will publish comments on her return on Sunday evening. In the meantime, further to the previous post on angry escorts and courtesans, in which the English Courtesan pondered why it is that there are so many angry women in this profession, today's post is a personal addendum to the theme... People tend to assume that the English Courtesan has lived a charmed life and that this is why she fails to understand the anger of some courtesans and escorts. She has already had some emails with words to that effect, and although she can see the apparent logic for such a view, it couldn't be further from the reality. The English Courtesan does indeed have many blessings and she pauses regularly to count them. Yet that is only part of the picture...Today then the English Courtesan would like to share a little of her own experience with the readers. She often gets asked why she became a courtesan or escort and as in ...
More About: Personal , Books , Angry , Part

Angry Escorts & Courtesans - Part I
2007-06-06 17:52:00
The picture shows ?The heads of women unsuited to domestic life? and is from another treasured tome in the English Court esan?s library, namely ?The Book of Fortune Telling?, published by Morrison and Gibb in 1935. The illustration is from the chapter ?Women men ought not to marry?. The English Courtesan hunted high and low for a picture of ?Women unsuited to being a courtesan or escort? but she may have to draw one herself... The English Courtesan has been struck of late by how many angry women there are amongst escorts and courtesans. Whilst this post is labelled as part of the ?How to be an escort? series, it is perhaps more about how not to be an escort?read on if you dare...The English Courtesan often wonders whether it?s that being an escort or courtesan attracts angry women or whether it?s their experience of escorting that makes these women angry. It's sad but true that a lot of women seem to get into the sex industry as a result of some sort of damage, whether psychological...
More About: Books , Angry , Part , Cort

Average Rates For Escorts & Courtesans
2007-06-03 00:23:00
Today's post comes to you with grateful thanks to the the Marvellous Mandy for spotting some shocking repetitions and to the Beautiful Beau for pointing out the comments issue. 'More haste less speed!' quoth the English Court esan, slowly stroking her, ooops, no, that wasn't meant to be the topic for today, was it?As the French would put it, 'revenons a nos moutons', which literally means 'let us get back to our sheep'. That undoubtedly loses something, or rather gains something a little worrying, in translation. The English Courtesan is sorely tempted to make a Welsh joke only Mandy might smack her and she might enjoy it (she'll leave it to the readers to work out which she might enjoy it most)... ;-) Anyway, the English Courtesan recently noticed an interesting post from the Petulant Pooner (the site appeared to have been smote by the hand of Go Daddy when the English Courtesan tried it but she hopes it will be back later). The post pointed to an index of prices for an ho...
More About: Rates , Rate , Cort , Escorts

Escort Services & International Relations
2007-05-30 18:21:00
The drawing comes from another of the English Courtesan?s favourite books, namely ?The Wild Party? by Joseph Moncure March. This tragi-comic jazz poem, with a compelling rhythm and erotic themes, depicts a single night of wild debauchery...'The Wild Party' was origininally published in 1928 but it was recently reprinted by Picador with the fabulously sinister black and white Art Spiegelman illustrations. It was this edition that was given to the English Courtesan by a suitor, who shall as ever remain nameless but appreciated. The illustration shows Queenie, the vaudeville dancer who is frequently accused of being a whore, languishing in her bed on a hot Sunday afternoon...One of the most frequent queries the English Courtesan gets about how to be an escort is on the topic of ?what is an escort or courtesan expected to do??. So this post, which is the latest in the English Courtesan?s series on ?How to be an escort? covers the topic of deciding which services you want to offer as a...
More About: Services , International , Books , International Relations , Relations

To A Common Prostitute...
2007-05-24 18:49:00
The English Courtesan was surprised to provoke a certain amount of controversy with the post of Sugasm #80. It seems that readers of a more sensitive nature were shocked by some of the links to sites with photographs and writing of an adult nature. Today's post then is a reflection on the English Courtesan's belief that obscenity, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder...read on if you dare...The English Courtesan thought she'd share another favourite poem with the readers, namely 'To a common prostitute' from Walt Whitman's 'Leaves of Grass'. When 'Leaves of Grass' was published in its Seventh Edition by James R. Osgood & Co. in Boston in 1881, it provoked such moral outrage from the New England Society for the Suppression of Vice that the Massachusetts Attorney-General wrote to Osgood & Co. in Boston to denounce the book for obscenity and demand that it be withdrawn from sale. Osgood suggested to Whitman that certain passages and poems, including 'To a common pr...
More About: Books , Blogging , Common , Comm , Prostitute

Sugasm #80 - The English Courtesan Is In!
2007-05-23 13:03:00
The English Court esan is delighted to be featured in the latest Sugasm! 'What is Sugasm?' asked the innocent readers, looking shocked. 'It's the devilish digest!' replied the English Courtesan with a lascivious look towards the deliciously democratic and supremely saucy Radical Vixen. In case you wondered, the photo isn't the English Courtesan but rather Sara X courtesy of Viviane?s Sex Carnival. So the English Courtesan's series on 'How to be an escort' is hereby temporarily interrupted by Sugasm #80! For those of you who haven't come across Sugasm, it's a roundup of the week's sex blogs and it's full of the most fabulous filth. The English Courtesan had been pondering submitting herself for a while but was a little nervous of Radical Vixen whose merest mention makes young Olivia come over all submissive. Luckily Radical Vixen turns out to be rather delightful and the rest is, well, it's all in Sugasm #80...prepare yourselves for a little delicious debauchery...Sugasm...
More About: Blogging

How To Be An Escort - Part II
2007-05-19 19:41:00
The picture is a colour plate from the English Courtesan?s copy of Gounod?s Faust, in the J. Cuthbert Hadden ?The Great Operas? series, published by T.C.& E.C. Jack circa 1900. It shows the wicked Faust?s seduction of the lovely young virgin Margaret in Act III which is one of the English Courtesan?s favourite seduction scenes...Read on if you dare and let your souls be seduced the English Courtesan! Further to Wednesday?s menu, today is Part II of the English Courtesan?s series on getting started as an escort, which deals with the questions of why you want to become a provider of escort services, what type of ?working girl? you want to be, and how to choose an escort agency. Without further ado then?1) Escorts, courtesans, call girls, social escorts, travel companions and other misnomers?Where better for the English Courtesan to begin than with the topic of what type of escort you want to be and why? Much has already been written on the tedious topic of definitions, so the English ...
More About: Books , Cort

How to be an escort - Part I
2007-05-16 19:44:00
The picture comes from the English Courtesan's cherished copy of The Royal Treasury of Story and Song, published by Thomas Nelson and Sons, circa 1911, and originally sold for the splendid price of one shilling. She wanted to share it with you as she thought the caption to the picture might raise a smirk amongst the filthy-minded readers... :-)The English Courtesan has had an increasing number of emails over the past few weeks about getting started as an escort, call girl, courtesan, or whatever one chooses to call oneself. When she wrote her original posts about getting started as an escort she was incredibly naïve, but she?s now in a slightly better position to tell you what you need to know.The English Courtesan should start by saying that she doesn?t claim to be an authority on the subject of providing escort services and she is still a relative newbie to the game. As it were? ;-) Her qualifications are of a totally irrelevant nature so do feel free to take all of this with a p...
More About: Books , Part , Cort

Sex and Disability Part II
2007-05-12 17:10:00
The picture shows ?Alison Lapper Pregnant? by Marc Quinn and the English Courtesan purloined it from Alison Lapper?s website. When the English Courtesan first wrote on the topic of sex and disability in this post here here she had yet to meet a disabled client. Well now she has, so this post is both a quiet 'thank you' to her client and a debunking of some of the myths about sex and disability and also beauty...In Autumn 2005, Marc Quinn?s statue of Alison Lapper, naked and pregnant, provoked national controversy when it was placed on Trafalgar Square?s fourth plinth. Alison is a talented photographer and writer who was born without arms and with shortened legs, as the result of a medical condition called phocomelia.As the fetal medicine website puts it, ?in phocomelia, the extremities resemble those of a seal.? The hands and feet are usually present (and may be normal or abnormal), but the intervening arms and legs are absent. Whilst the most widely-known cause of phocomelia is e...
More About: Disability , Part , Bili , Sabi

The Courtesan's Journey...
2007-05-09 20:31:00
The English Court esan is having a busy week but while she catches up, she thought she?d share one of her favourite poems with the readers. The photo, once again taken by the English Courtesan?s own fair hand somewhere in Yorkshire, shows one of her favourite journeys and is peculiarly relevant to today?s subject matter?read on...Ithaka, by Constantine P. Cavafy, was written in 1911. Whilst this has always been one of the English Courtesan?s favourite poems, even before she became an escort, it is also a reflection on how she feels about her new life.Before you start on the poem, you might like to know that Ithaca (an alternative spelling of Ithaka) is a real island in the Ionian Sea off Greece. It features in Homer?s Illiad and Odyssey as the home of Odysseus (although whether Homer?s Ithaca is the same as the real one is open to interpretation). Yet its significance both in Homer and on a personal level for the English Courtesan transcends geographical debates and refers more to wh...
More About: Travel , Journey

Europe in summer and boobies
2007-05-05 23:25:00
It?s not here, my lovelies, it?s here! Well not quite yet, but it will be by the end of next week, so do keep watching?the English Courtesan is about to move in with the Dark and Lovely Nia and her fabulous boobies...In the meantime here is one of the English Courtesan?s all-time favourite pictures: John Singer Sargent?s ?Steps of the Church of SS Domenico e Sisto, Rome? which was painted in 1904 and is in the Ashmolean in Oxford . The English Courtesan loves this picture because it just seems to encapsulate the glories of Europe in summer ? blue skies, honey-coloured stone, and balustrades with finials the shape of boobies?Technorati Tags: Courtesan, courtesans, escort, escorts, art, EuropeThe English Courtesan...naughty but nice! xxx
More About: Summer , Boobies , R and B

The USB Humping Hound Dog
2007-05-02 23:08:00
Having declared the Kropserkel horse head cushion 'Cool Toy of The Month' for April, the English Courtesan must admit that it does in fact have a rival. Her only excuse is that this one combines two of her very favourite things?USB toys and sex... How could the English Courtesan possibly resist such a charming toy as?wait for it?it?s another good one?it?s the USB humping dog?When was the last time you thanked your laptop for all its hard work? Hmmm, yes, I suspected as much, you filthy ingrates, so now it?s time for penance a la English Courtesan. Oh yes, after all its hard work on your deadlines, it?s time to give back a little lurve to your laptop via the USB drive and a humping hound!The U SB humping dog does exactly what it says on its cheesy packaging. It plugs into your USB drive and away it humps! Does it flash its eyes? Nope. Does it sing ?you ain?t nothin? but a hound dawg?? Nope. In this age of gadgetry this USB toy is peculiarly and rather delightfully simplistic. It jus...
More About: Hump , Ping , Hound

The University of Oxford & The Courtesan
2007-04-28 21:01:00
Following on from the earlier post on Oxford For The Weekend, the English Court esan has a scandalously naughty proposal to put to the readers this week...She has just been invited to a Univ ersity of Oxford Alumni Weekend which promises a range of intellectual and sensual delights amongst the dreaming spires?read on?First things first, and the dates for your diary are the 14th to 16th September. Booking for the University of Oxford Alumni Weekend closes on 31st July and there is only one English Courtesan, so if you would like to book her and the weekend you may need to move fast. It probably goes without saying that the Alumni Weekend is strictly only for former students of Oxford University and/or their guests and you need an Alumni Card to register your place and gain entry into University of Oxford buildings. Luckily the English Courtesan has one of those and what?s more she worked extremely hard for it so she now intends to put it to scandalously good use! ;-)Onto the schedule! ...
More About: Travel

Tagging the English Courtesan
2007-04-25 00:02:00
The English Courtesan was delighted to be tagged for another meme by the Nubile and Naughty Nina, also known as the Lazy Geisha, in this post here, and is squeaking in just minutes before her midnight deadline! Nina stretched out her lacy-gloved finger, pointed at young Livvy and whispered ?it?s yooooou...? like an adults-only form of that National Lottery advert that UK readers may recall...This meme is about revealing 5 things that you haven?t yet disclosed in your blog. Nina?s threat/promise that she?d give the English Courtesan a sound whipping if she didn?t play was tempting indeed, but the English Courtesan likes memes, so she decided she?d do her homework and ask if she could still have the detention anyway? :-)So here are 5 things that you probably didn?t know about the English Courtesan?read on, my nosy readers!1) Despite her love of pointy witch shoes with ankle straps, The English Courtesan loves running around barefoot in summer. This means that although her feet are a n...
More About: Personal , Books , Blogging , Tagging

Edinburgh For The Weekend...
2007-04-21 01:17:00
The English Courtesan has been tagged for a meme by the delightfully Naughty Nina and you can read all about it in this post here! She hasn't done her homework yet, but do keep reading as that will follow on Wednesday...Following the success of Part 1 of ?Luxurious Escapes with One?s Lover?, which featured Oxford, the English Courtesan is delighted to present Part 2, which features the tartan splendours of Edinburgh ! Her thanks go to the lover who inspired this post who shall, as ever, remain nameless but much appreciated?Edinburgh is another of Olivia?s favourite cities for a scandalously saucy break with one?s paramour. With its romantic turreted castles haunted by lovelorn spectres, its sleeping volcano shrouded in mist and mystery, its dark medieval passage ways with their vestiges of both royal and pagan history, and its austere grey granite tenements which look as if they were carved from the rocks themselves, Edinburgh is the ultimate romantic escape for those who hark back...
More About: Travel , Weekend , Week

Olivia's Bottoms
2007-04-18 13:05:00
Unto thee, my readers, all things shall be revealed, and the English Courtesan is delighted to clear up the mystery of Olivia ?s bottoms?The picture shows Botero?s ?Mujer en la ventana? (?Woman at the window?), painted in 1995. For those of you who have yet to discover the Colombian painter and sculptor Fernando Botero, he is arguably the big God of buxom bottoms.Indeed there?s a particularly nice range of Botero bottoms shown on the website of the Associazione Unidos Por Colombia, from whence the English Courtesan purloined the photo. Have we all stopped sniggering at the aptness of Botero?s name? Good. Then the English Courtesan will continue? :-)The English Courtesan?s personal Botero favourites are his ?Gato? (?Cat?) 1984, ?Caminando cerca al río? (?Walking by the river?) 1989, and ?Pera? (?Pear?) 1997. Botero is perhaps most famous for his fabulous Latina bottoms, but his creative retakes of the Mona Lisa and the Arnolfini, his imaginative still lifes (including a hilarious one ...
More About: Blogging , Bottom

The Courtesan's Rates
2007-04-14 13:54:00
The photo shows a mystery picture taken in Yorkshire by the English Court esan's own fair hand - answers on a postcard to the usual! In the meantime, the English Courtesan has taken a rather momentous decision this week and has decided to change her rates. A kamikaze act or a carefully considered strategic move? Read on hedge fund hotties, mid cap masturbators, bawdy bulge-bracket baddies and kinky Keynesians!6 months as a courtesan, escort, call girl, or whatever you?d like to call her, has left the English Courtesan a changed creature. Much of her learning has been immensely enjoyable, but some of it less so. The reasons for the rate change are largely positive however, in that they relate as much to offering new opportunities to existing clients as they do to attracting new clients...Whilst the English Courtesan originally toyed with the idea of a penetration pricing strategy, just on the grounds that she?s a penetration enthusiast, she eventually settled for premium pricing, wit...
More About: Rates , Rate

My Kingdom For A Horse (Head Cushion)!
2007-04-12 00:08:00
The English Courtesan?s funny thing of the week, hmmmm, no, that seems parsimonious in view of the sheer hilarity of this one, so let?s make it her funny thing of the month, is?wait for it?it?s another good one?it?s the severed horse head cushion from Kropserkel!OK, OK, so it?s sick and twisted but you have to admit this is damnably fine and funny and it would make wan helluffa gift (said in a Mafioso accent) for someone suitably deserving of a little light menacing or a tasteful act of vengeance.The English Courtesan is of course an animal-loving rural-dwelling vegetarian who doesn?t believe in revenge but this one had her inexplicably snorting with horsey laughter. Why she found the severed horse head cushion so funny, like most funny things, defies description but she thinks it?s something to do with the big pink tongue and the comedy ?my horse head cushion horror!? photos of a woman waking up next to one in the bed and bath (!) on the Kropserkel website?As the website puts it, a...
More About: Kingdom , King , Head , Horse , Cush

Thinking Bloggers
2007-04-07 22:49:00
Those of you who read the last post will know that the English Courtesan was given a ?Think ing Blog ger Award? by the lovely Ex-Courtesan Gillette in this post here...This is of course the English Courtesan's first ever blogging award and she is doing a happy whoopy war dance round her laptop as she types! The fact that she is an avid reader of Gillette's Most-Thinking-of-All-Blogs added to her delight and made the accolade even more appreciated.For those of you who have yet to discover the Ex-Courtesan In Transition blog on the Links Livvy Likes List, Gillette is a delightful combination of thoughtful and kind and clever and tender and soulful and witty and wise and all-round wondrous - should the English Courtesan go on or are your cheeks already rosy Gillette? Ahem... ;-)So thanks to Gillette, it's time for another meme and the English Courtesan gets a nice award button for her blog too ? see the bottom right of the page! Those of you who read the last meme will know the format...
More About: Bloggers , King

Antique of The Week
2007-04-04 14:59:00
The English Courtesan was tickled pink to receive a Thinking Blogger Award from the delectable Gillette (AKA Ex-Courtesan In Transition) this week in this post here! The honour bestowed upon her by all-time favourite blogger Gillette, means that the English Courtesan now has the right to hand out her very own Thinking Blogger Awards to five lucky bloggers...results to follow on Saturday...In the meantime, it has been a while since the English Courtesan did a post on antiques, so here we have Anti que of The Week which was from the Lyon & Turbull Sale in Edinburgh on 21st March.It was a Regency side table, possibly by Gillow's, that caught the eye of most and was widely hailed as a herald of recovery for the brown furniture market, as it fetched £105,000, almost 10 times its estimate. However what caught the English Courtesan's eye was the more modest but stunning Lot 486, and there it is in the photo, which the English Courtesan shamelessly purloined from Messrs. Lyon and Turbull?s...
More About: Ique , Antique

Courtesans and Beavers
2007-03-31 14:50:00
The picture shows one of the English Court esan?s favourite spots in the North, which shall of course remain nameless. It might be Yorkshire or it might be somewhere entirely different but as you can see from the picture, it has trees, water and spectacular sunsets, so that should help you narrow it down. Answers on a postcard to the usual? :-)Following on from last week?s sexual statistics, the English Courtesan thought she?d share some statistics of a different kind with the readers this week. Have you ever wondered what phrase people type into Google to find the English Courtesan Olivia? Here is an extract from this week?s weird and wonderful ?keyword activity? entries?beaver dazzlingfood label yellow cheese nakedlivvy naked (swiftly followed by Olivia naked)Yorkshire escort cheese on toast saucysquealing virginscourtesan have gun will travelanimalistic metaphorshow to train a hamster to go faster in a ballolivias bottomsstockist lyons green label teaEnglish milkmaid escort honeyR...
More About: Beavers , Beaver

Yorkshire Neighbours
2007-03-28 13:37:00
Have you ever wondered if you unwittingly live next door to the English Courtesan? Do you find yourself lying awake to ponder whether the girl next door who arrives and leaves at unusual hours could be an escort? Well if you're in York shire and you have black or ginger body hair and you tend to slobber a lot and you lactate...then you just might... :-)Meet Olivia's new Yorkshire neighbours! Would anyone like to join me in raising a hearty 'moooooooo!' to welcome the new kids to the neighbourhood? One of the English Courtesan's little known party tricks is mooing like a cow - strange but true and it tends to be a useful ice-breaker in the right company (especially of the bovine variety). You can see from the photo that the new neighbours were suitably impressed (or bemused?) by Olivia's unusual talents!In the meantime, the milkmaid fantasy calls and the English Courtesan must away to find a frilly outfit and a suitable three-legged stool... :-)Technorati Tags: courtesan, courte...
More About: Hire , Neighbours