The Diary of An English Courtesan

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Kindness to Courtesans
2007-02-20 23:26:04
The topic of today?s post is writing to the English Court esan. Although she gets some lovely emails from readers, she has had a few vile emails of late. If this doesn?t stop and those in question can?t learn to play nicely, she?s going to take down the ?Email Olivia? link and make the blog invitation only.So here are the ground rules if you want to play with Livvy:1) I answer emails and reply to comments because it?s courteous to do so. That means I expect to be shown a little courtesy in return. Name-calling and/or tantrums are not courteous.2) When I reply to you, I don?t necessarily expect a response. I fully accept that people have work and family related reasons why they may not respond instantly or indeed ever. It?s up to you whether you email back, and in the same way it?s up to me whether and when I email. It often takes me a week to reply because of the sheer volume of emails I get. If I haven?t responded within 24 hours, don?t start ranting at me.3) When I reply, don?t ass...
More About: Kindness , Ness

Intimate Confessions
2007-02-20 23:26:04
Onto the English Courtesan?s next film review, the enticingly-titled 'Inti mate Confession s of a Chinese Courtesan', which was released in 1972.This film wasn't an obvious choice in that Livvy tends to steer clear of martial arts films, however well-disguised they are by titillating titles. All that acrobatic foo-foo-ness tends to leave the English Courtesan rather cold and she?d much rather have a sexy French film noir or a lowbrow American teens-have-sex-then-die flick. However Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan is a rather different kind of film to your usual martial arts film - this in Kung Fu fighting with the emphasis on the fun fufu bits?Directed by Chu Yuan (Chor Yuen), Intimate Confessions of a Chinese Courtesan is undoubtedly the most notorious erotic film in the history of Hong Kong cinema. The saucy, sultry and sinister Lily Ho portrays a reluctant prostitute and bisexual love slave who feigns subservience whilst embarking on a secret and bloody mission of ven...
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The Details
2007-02-20 23:26:04
The English Courtesan was welcomed home from her exciting voyages with a record-beating number of visits to the blog and a intriguing little flurry of emails. Whilst she does usually reply to emails individually, most of the emails were on a particular theme.So this post is an attempt to answer the majority in one fell swoop. What was it then that provoked such intense interest in the English Courtesan?s pursuits? Ah yes, that would be?the First Night of course!Before I begin however, let us get a few things out of the way. Whilst I read and admire the graphically descriptive accounts of some of the cliterati, I am not one of them. That means that there will be no blow-by-blow account. Ahem. ;-)Nor will there be a description of the English Courtesan?s paramour. Although we have amused ourselves since my return by trying to create a laundered account of our time together, there are too many sensitive details. It is not difficult to identify a particular hotel suite in a particular c...
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Chola and Uma's Hips
2007-02-20 23:26:04
The photo shows the Goddess Uma from the ?Chola ? Sacred Bronzes of Southern India? exhibition and is courtesy of the Royal Academy, London.The English Courtesan didn't exactly ask their permission to reproduce the photo here but she's sure they'll forgive her if there's an influx of highly-cultured and highly-sexed readers to the exhibition after this post... ;-)The English Courtesan was recently lucky enough to see the Chola exhibition herself. She was particularly thrilled to catch the exhibition as she narrowly missed seeing a similar larger exhibition of Chola bronzes in Washington D.C. in 2003 and has been looking forward to its arrival in Europe ever since. Despite her general lack of patience with museums, the English Courtesan loves galleries and this exhibition is an intriguing example of the merging of sacred and sensual in religious art.This is a small but perfectly formed exhibition in every possible way. There are just 30 cast bronzes on display and most are tiny a...
More About: Hola

The Library
2007-02-20 23:26:04
?And as The English Courtesan and her Paramour crept out of the softly lit Libra ry , which had been their happy love nest for a delightful few hours, they left behind them a token of esteem for the Librarian.Two purple plums and a finely bound volume from The English Courtesan?s very own library?
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Antique Hunting II
2007-02-20 23:26:04
In the previous post you have reasons to buy antiques online, but you may be wondering where the Courtesan sources hers. Alas, you must wonder on, my friends! Livvy has no intention of causing unnecessary inflation in her chosen online lairs?As a consolation though, here are a few English antique links that tickle The English Courtesan's fancy:http://www.antiquestradegazette.co. ukThe trade bible for the UK antiques' market, and the online version of the newspaper. There are some interesting news articles, but the best features are arguably the lot finder (which allows you to search current catalogues) and the saleroom price guide (which has auction results and photos for over a million articles). There are live auctions from several UK auction houses and you can also subscribe to auction alerts.http://www.lapada.orgThe London and Provincial Anti que Dealers Association (or at least they were until they rather randomly renamed themselves the Association of Art & Antique s Dealers...
More About: Ique , Hunting , Hunt

Antique Hunting I
2007-02-20 23:26:04
The topic of today?s post is antique hunting on the internet, which is one of the English Courtesan?s favourite online pastimes. The other is looking at pictures of naked ladies - more on that in a later post...Perhaps we should begin with normal antique hunting. Although the Courtesan likes online hunting, she does appreciate proper auctions too.If you?re wondering which one is Livvy, she is usually to be found lurking at the back of provincial salerooms behind a large piece of brown furniture. That?s a sly tactic to unnerve other bidders by staying just outside their line of sight so that they don?t know who they?re bidding against. Livvy catches the auctioneer?s eye early on and then leans nonchalantly again a wall waggling her number paddle in a menacing fashion. She always leaps in just at the point when the auctioneer says ?are we all done at???. She likes to be Number 69 for obvious reasons, but alas most salerooms don?t give one a choice of number these days.There?s a certai...
More About: Anti , Ique , Antique , Hunting , Hunt

Bonnard?s Intérieur Avec Nu
2007-02-20 23:26:04
The English Courtesan would like to wish all her readers a belated Happy Valentine?s Day! As a special Valentine?s Day gift, here is Bonn ard?s Intérieur Avec Nu which he painted around 1905. The original can be found in the Ashmolean in Oxford and it was bequeathed by Frank Hindley Smith in 1939. Read on to find out why the English Courtesan chose this particular painting to celebrate Valentine's Day with you... As the art historians amongst you will know, Bonnard was a member of Les Nabis (The Prophets), a group of Post-Impressionist artists and illustrators who had a major influence on the literary, artistic and musical scenes in Paris in the 1880s and 90s. The Intérieur Avec Nu is arguably atypical of Bonnard's usual style, in that the colours are more muted than much of his work and the mood is more pensive.The reason that Bonnard?s Intérieur Avec Nu might be considered a gift to the readers, just as it was the the lucky old Ashmolean, is that it bears a striking resemblance t...
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Oxford For The Weekend...
2007-02-10 12:11:00
Please note that due to technical issues, the original post has disappeared from Blogger! So for those readers who may have missed it on Lady Glyde?s blog the first time around, here it is again..When the English Courtesan Olivia was asked to write a guest post for Lady Glyde?s blog, she whooped with delight, did a happy naked jig round her boudoir and accepted the honour bestowed upon her! The English ladies of good repute, Lady Glyde and Livvy, debated the topic of which cities make the best luxurious escapes with one's lover and the post below was the result?read on if you dare?Oxford , the city of dreaming spires, is one of the English Courtesan?s all-time favourite cities and the perfect place for an escape with one?s lover. A fairytale skyline, honey-coloured buildings, wonderful galleries and bookshops, superb dining, and all just down the road from the picture perfection of the Cotwolds with their rolling green fields, thatched cottages and antique shops. What more could a g...
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Filling Your Stockings III
2006-12-16 23:09:00
Please note that the English Courtesan will be on holiday next week so the next post will be on Saturday 7th January 2007. She wishes you all a merry Christmas with plenty of mince pies and a happy New Year full of debauchery! The photo incidentally is not the English Courtesan but a Holy Toaster called Diana - see below...With just one week to Christmas, it?s undoubtedly time for the next instalment in the English Courtesan?s Fill ing Your Stock ings series. For those of you who?ve only just joined us, this is Olivia's personal guide to the best of this year?s twisted toys for not-quite-grownups. This week we have a form of culinary delight which is?wait for it?you?re going to love this one too?Holy Toast!Holy Toast is actually a pair of toast moulds. That may not sound miraculous but believe me, it is, as this is a toy that lets you have your very own vision of the Virgin Mary on a daily basis! Press the moulds into a piece of bread, toast it in the usual manner (remove the moulds ...
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The Bunny's Tale V
2006-08-23 18:48:00
NEWSFLASH - The English Courtesan has 4 proposals! She'd like to get to 5, so perhaps one of you nice readers will oblige? Scroll for the auction details or watch this space for updates... Even the English Courtesan's most patient readers must be wondering by now how the Tale of The Bunny kin could be relevant to her professed intention to become a courtesan. There are two reasons.The first is that I was a very good mistress and I believe the skills I learned will be of use to me in my new profession as courtesan. If you are reading this as a prospective client, I hope you will find my cautionary tale oddly reassuring. There are the obvious skills of covering one?s own and one?s companion?s tracks at all times. There will be no risk of my answering a telephone without thinking or of sending a text or an email to the wrong address at the wrong time of day. There is the art of being able to walk past a hotel receptionist with my head held high, or of being able to convince work colle...

The Bunny's Tale IV
2006-08-20 19:02:00
Please note that from now on The English Courtesan will post twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays. There may of course be occasional extra posts for special events like Olivia's heralded First Night of Debauchery. The ralentissement fits in with her plans for increasing the nocturnal and indeed diurnal action here (slightly more lovers means slightly less writing)!Are we sitting comfortably? Then back to The Tale of The Bunny kin... Those of you who have read Olivia's previous posts will guess that the photograph is the statue of Ganesh in the lush tropical gardens of the hotel where I first met B****. If you look closely, you will see a lollipop and two red flowers at Ganesh's feet...You may be wondering where the Tale of the Bunnykin is heading. I realise that I have yet to begin the real story. Perhaps that was my prelude to recognising that I cannot condense two years of being B****?s mistress into words. Two years of passion, of insanity, of the wildest pleasure and the ...

The Bunny's Tale III
2006-08-18 20:19:00
Those of you who missed the previous chapters of the Tale of The Bunny kin, may wish to scroll down to the two posts underneath this. This is the story of how Olivia became a mistress, because that is part of why and how she is to become a courtesan...B****?s letter arrived by post accompanied by a CD of photographs of our time together in Sri Lanka. There was one that brought the memories flooding back above all others. In a far-flung corner of the hotel?s lush tropical gardens, next to a path I used to walk along sometimes, was a large statue of Ganesha. Ganesha (who is sometimes called Ganesh, Ganesa or Ganapati) is revered by Hindus as the Lord of Wisdom and Intellect, the Lord of Good Fortune and the Destroyer of Obstacles. Each day I used to lay a few red flowers at Ganesha?s feet as I passed. My spirituality is simple ? I believe in one God who has many names and faces. Having been touched by the story of Ganesha when I first read it many years ago, my flowers were an apology ...

The Bunny's Tale II
2006-08-17 00:06:00
Those of you who missed the previous chapter of the Tale of The Bunny kin, may wish to scroll down to the post underneath this. In case you were wondering, the image depicts a raised game pie and it is courtesy of the English Courtesan's 1890s edition of Mrs. Beeton's Cookery Book.Although Mrs. Beeton supplies a recipe for rabbit pie, there was no picture alas, so you'll have to imagine the ears protruding from the top for yourselves. Are we sitting comfortably? Good. Then Olivia will continue?When B***** and M**** returned to Sri Lanka in 2003, we again we spent an enjoyable and lazy two weeks. Nothing had happened between myself and B**** at this point although I was attracted to him on many levels. He was cultured and well-read and also something of a polymath, a trait I have always found fascinating. He was a scientist by profession, but he read novels and appreciated art and music too. He had the delightfully dry sense of humour of an academic Englishman, and combined it with...

The Bunny's Tale I
2006-08-14 19:23:00
What better way to while away the time until the auction closes than with a little gossip and scandal. This then is the promised Tale of The Bunny kin, a cautionary tale dredged from the English Courtesan?s personal history...I would point out before you read on that I do not intend to bore readers with my every conquest and clients will be assured of the utmost discretion in every circumstance. In future tales I will be careful to weed out or change any identifiable character traits or circumstances, not to mention names.However the icy wife M**** is now fully aware of her husband B****?s antics, and will no doubt be reminding him of them on a twice-daily basis for the next two decades. To mix my animalistic metaphors, the cat is out of the bag and chasing the Bunny?s tail, so I might as well be frank and enjoy myself. Anyone else who recognises B**** here may consider themselves forewarned and forearmed. Where I have been set free and am gloriously alone and intent on blazing my ne...

Olivia's First Night Auction
2006-08-12 20:29:00
Ladies and gentleman, The English Courtesan is about to open the bidding? light your blue touchpapers and stand well back! As those of you who are regular readers will know, last week I received an intriguing suggestion from A Reader Esquire. At the time I was pondering the question of how to find clients, and A Reader suggested that an auction might be a way to start things off with a nice big bang. As it were. This then is the auction for Olivia ?s First Night of Debauchery.It?s a bit like auctioning off one?s virginity, only it?s guaranteed to be more enjoyable for both parties. What you get is a day or night of unadulterated passion and stimulation, along with the cachet of being Livvy?s First. Once she?s listed on the fantasy blog stock market you?ll be able to tell the boys ?Ah yes, the delectable Livvy ? I was her First?. Not that boys gossip of course. What Livvy gets is a choice of suitable lovers with exciting proposals to introduce her to the delights of her New World.The ...
More About: Auction

To Write Or Not...
2006-08-10 19:55:00
On Saturday the English Courtesan has a surprise for her readers but before she can reveal it, there is an important matter to be bottomed out, namely the topic of 'to write or not to write' as the Bard put it! Oh yes, if you’ve read the comments, and in particular the suggestion from Jac, you’ll know what’s coming – should one or shouldn’t one write about clients in one’s blog?So first, the pros of writing up one clients:1) One should write about what one knows and Livvy knows sex. In fact she probably knows your mother.2) It should make rip-roaring reading. My gruelling selection process will ensure that only entertaining clients will be entertained.3) Clients might like to guest write their own post (I reserve full slash-and-burn editing rights).4) My reputation for blogging integrity will remain unblemished and my readers will get the salacious gossip and scandal they expect.5) Those who can’t afford the rates can still enjoy Luscious Livvy’s Lavish Lasciviousn...
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Cream Cakes
2006-08-08 20:15:00
Today there has been a setback in the English Courtesan's plans. The two mentors-to-be of whom I wrote before (one a PR mogul, the other a retired Yorkshire escort) have decided it seems that I am ‘too nice’ to be a courtesan. Whilst our lunch may yet be rescheduled, they have decided on exclusivity in their relationship so the heralded ‘test drive’ is cancelled. They have suggested that I should become a poet instead and that the PR mogul will be my agent.This leaves me slightly baffled. What worked for Sappho may work for me, and I am not ruling out poetry at a later stage. However I’m serious and committed to becoming a courtesan first and foremost. Whilst I’m mildly disappointed, I am not overly concerned regarding the subsequent lack of second and third opinion of my physical seduction skills. My talents and enthusiasm in the bedroom have often been commented upon and suffice it to say that I have the usual queue of Unsuitable Suitors on my doorstep, voicemail, inb...
More About: Cakes , Cake , Cream

Courtly Notes Part III
2006-08-06 19:40:00
As the English Court esan's posts are getting longer, I will make them once every few days from now on, if my readers will allow it. It is not that my enthusiasm for blogging is waning but on the contrary it is about maintaining quality. As I child I was taught not to speak unless I had something worthwhile to say, and I still adhere to that view. The plethora of choice in modern communications, from text to mobile to email to blogs, seems to have made verbal diarrhoea the malaise of choice for our age.To the English Courtesan, there is something charming about an old fashioned letter by snail mail, simply because it is a rarer and arguably more thoughtful and carefully-crafted form of writing. My aim is to make my blog the online equivalent and in this small way to mirror the gulf between prostitute and courtesan. Rationing supply is an essential part of maintaining value – for those of you who are fellow antique buffs, you need only look at what the influx of brown furniture fro...
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Courtly Notes Part II
2006-08-05 19:25:00
Today’s picture, once again taken by the English Court esan's own fair hand by way of thanks to her readers, is a small but perfectly formed rosebud. Not unlike her own indeed! For anyone who missed yesterday’s episode, I was pondering the practicalities of becoming a courtesan. I was sidetracked by beribboned lingerie but today I’m back to bending over the professional development grindstone…So onto the operational and commercial aspects of becoming a courtesan, with renewed vigour! Whilst it is a courtesan that Olivia wishes to become, these notes might well be relevant to escorts too, hence the label. Thanks to my dalliance with becoming a ‘social and professional’ escort, I already have the requisite separate mobile phone, which is of course a prepay one and unlisted in case of stalking. All celebrities attract stalkers and unfortunately Livvy is no exception, even before starting out on her path to becoming a courtesan.I am considering a website of my own with a few...
More About: Note , Notes , Part

Courtly Notes Part I
2006-08-04 19:04:00
The topic for discussion today is ‘how does one prepare to become a courtesan or escort?’. Prepare yourselves for a thoroughly low-brow post today as it’s too hot to write anything sensible. At least regarding courtesans, I’m actually an exponent of the ‘you’ve either got it or you haven’t’ theory, so I suspect these are all rather irrelevant, but they do serve an amusement purpose until my first encounter. Please don’t try these at home (probably best not to try them at work either, come to think of it) as I am of course a novice courtesan-to-be rather than an accredited courtesan training provider. In fact I carry a government health warning blazoned across my pert little bosom but you’ll only get to inspect that if you pass my selection process (more on that below)…From what I’ve read to date, the essential skills of how to be a courtesan can be broken down into the following 5 areas:1) Fundamental things – kindness, charm, intellect, beauty, refinement,...
More About: Note , Notes , Part , Court

Sunset Over The Yorkshire Moors
2006-08-03 19:25:00
I am delighted to see that I received my Very First Comment today and thank you, A Reader Esquire – your encouragement is much appreciated! Here by way of thanks is a picture of sunset over the moors, taken by my own fair hand. Read on McDuff... On the tail and tale front, things are hotting up slightly and the Courtesan may soon have her first encounter of the lascivious kind. Today I received a call from C****** who wants to book me for next weekend...Ah-hah, yes, one of you clever boys has indeed managed to get hold of that much sought-after-nugget-of-gold known as Livvy’s mobile number! It’s not actually that difficult, as I am still listed on a members-only website as a ‘social and professional only escort’. That was before I realised that there really is no such thing, but after six cancellations and not a single date, I am now a wiser creature.Before C******’s call, I was actually thinking of removing my profile from that particular site, due the number of backer-...
More About: Hire , Sunset , York , Yorkshire , Over

More About Olivia...
2006-08-03 15:07:00
To while away the time until my first appointment, let me tell you a little more about the English Courtesan. I am attractive, a UK size 8-10 (US size 4-6), 5 ft 9 in heels, and a 34B, and I have long wavy brown hair, big brown eyes and an infectious laugh. Although I consider myself more of a ‘jolie laide’ than model material, I seem to cast a peculiar spell on men and women alike. Indeed I’ve been accused of witchcraft more than once. Others have called me the sweetest, kindest creature they have ever met. The contradictions are part of Olivia 's allure... I was born in Yorkshire and educated privately at a convent school. I achieved straight As in everything that mattered, and didn't show for the rest of my exams. My parents received an offer of marriage for me when I was 9 and since then I have always had a steady stream of admirers, to whom my mother refers as the ‘The Unsuitable Suitors’. In case you were wondering, she has no idea of what I'm up to at the moment, ...
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Welcome To The Diary
2006-08-02 01:44:00
Welcome to The Diary of An English Courtesan. My name is Olivia but you may call me Livvy. This blog is intended to chart my journey from reformed mistress, novice social escort, and curious pleasure-seeker to fully-fledged seductress, courtesan and international travel companion. In the beginning there was a girl who wanted to be a courtesan...If you're sceptical or confused as to the difference between a whore, a prostitute, a call girl, an escort and a courtesan, all I ask is that you suspend your disbelief for a while. Stay and discover the subtleties with me as my tale unfolds.Keep reading. You've arrived here for a reason. Perhaps you're pondering a new career path along similar lines. Perhaps you're an idle seeker of titillation. Perhaps you're an expert on twentieth century erotica. Perhaps you're my next door neighbour. Perhaps you’re wondering if you can afford me. Whatever your reasons for joining me, you are very welcome. There’s room for everyone here.Will thi...
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